Originally Published March 8th, 2019

>Be Anon
>Be in the living room of your modest home
>Sat across from you, in all her boundary-invading glory, is Fluttershy
>And resting next to her is a small dog-kennel covered by a blanket
Fine. I’m interested.
>”No don’t kick m-what?”
Yeah. Usually you’d be begging me to crawl inside of that kennel by now. Or begging me to force you inside it. I’m actually pleasantly surprised by you for once.
>Beaming with pride, she ruffles her feathers and straightens her posture
>”W-well, I was in my bathtub last night thinking of how lonely you are, Anon…”
Mhm.
>”And how hard it must be living alone…”
>The emphasis she puts on the word “hard” kills the small bit of optimism you had
>”So I decided I would help you find a pet!”
>She taps a hoof on top of the carrier, and you hear a shuffling from within
Oh. Well that’s sorta nice of you, Shy.  So, what kind of pet did you have in mind? Can I see the little guy?
>”O-of course! I’m sure you two will love each other!”
>With a small flourish, she pulls the blanket off, and you can see a dog inside the kennel
>He’s pure white with large ears, and he makes your heart skip a beat
>As she opens the kennel door, the fluttering in your chest intensifies
>Could it be that you’re actually excited?
>For the first time in years you’ve wasted in this candy colored hell?
>The snout comes out first, curiously sniffing the air, followed by a paw
>And then another
>And a third, and a fourth, and a fifth, and a si-
>Wait the fuck
>The dog-spider-thing finishes scrabbling out of the carrier, and lets out a chitinous woof
Nope. Take him back.
>Fluttershy looks at you despondently as the creature skitters around your couch
>”Anon please, he’s just a harmless spidog.”
He’s an unholy hellspawn and I want him out of my house.
>”You haven’t even given him a chance yet!”
>Her mouth turns up into a pout, and small beads of tears form in the corners of her eyes
>Damned cute little horses
Fine. Can he fetch?

https://i.imgur.com/UsXHdve.jpg
>Fluttershy cheers up instantly, and you can almost hear the tears suck back behind her eyes
>She flits into the kitchen and grabs an orange from your table
>”Jaysee!”
>The beast’s ears perk up, and it scratchily woofs
>”F-fetch!”
>Shy winds back as hard as she can and hurls the orange
>Five feet across the room
>It hits the floor with a quiet whump and rolls under the couch
>The creature millipedes its way towards you and crams its snout into the gap, carefully pulling out the fruit from underneath
>”G-good boy! Now give it to Anon, please.”
>It turns towards you and opens its ja-
>Oh fucking god its mouth opens sideways
>The orange drops onto your lap, and the spidog lets out a chittering yip
Fluttershy.
>”Y-yes Anon?”
It’s not that I don’t appreciate the effort, but…why?
>”Oh! I assumed that you were having trouble expressing your feelings for me, and that getting a p-pet would help you be more emotionally open.”
>You want to throw the orange at her, but you fear the spidog may take it as an invitation to play
No I figured that. I meant why this pet in particular?
>”I th-thought it would make you feel more at home…”
>The spidog gurbles in affirmation
>Where the hell do these horses think you came from anyway?
Shy, please put that thing back where it came from.
>Her ears drop hard
>”Are you sure? H-he really is a good boy.”
Thank you, but I’m more than sure.
>”Okay…”
>She opens up the dog kennel and the hell beast scurries back inside
>The blanket covers the carrier again, and she carefully drags the whole affair across your floor, scratching the hell out of the wood
>Fucking Fluttershy
>Once she leaves, you head out the back door of your house
>You’ve kept a spare tub of wood putty in the shed ever since the day she thought “high impact sexual violence” was your fetish
>As you go to head back inside with your wood filler, you hear a scuttling in your garbage cans
The hell?
>You set down the container and pull the lid off of the closest trashcan

https://i.redd.it/s7ht358m1jo11.jpg
>Knock knock knock
Coming! I’m coming! You stay put, okay buddy?
>Your new pet, the bird you found in the trashcans last night, warbles in reply
>As it snuggles into the chair you head to the door to great your daily terror
G’morning, Banana Butt! Wanna come in?
>She blushes as she steps over the threshold
>”Oh, I’d j-just adore coming insiiiiiiiiii-“
>She freezes up when she sees your new pet at the table
>Your little angel purrs and chirps as it digs into its breakfast of shit you had in the fridge
You okay, Shy?
>”W-W-W-HAT THE FLIPPING HECK IS THAT?!’
>Fluttershy clambers backwards onto your couch, knocking your pillows onto the floor
She’s my new pet! At least I hope it’s a she. The name “Vincenza” has been stuck in my head all day and I can’t think of anything better.
>You scoop your pet off of the chair, and it wraps itself around your arm like the cute little dickens it is
Anyway, I was hoping you could help me figure out how to properly care for it, since I’ve just been feeding her pancakes and chili dogs all day-
>”NONONO GET IT AWAY!”
>Butterstutter starts flailing and thrashing about on the couch, kicking cushions across the room before falling to the floor
>She picks herself up with a piercing wail, darting outside and taking flight as soon as her wings cleared the door
Well…that was weird. You wanna go to Sugarcube corner?
>Vincenza chirps gleefully
>Today was a good day