black friday sales survivor | mare und panzer | behind enemy lines [Welcome to the LASS system please roll once.] [With the LASS system max rolls increases your stats] [Sometimes your options will not be available for the task] Luck: [dice+1d7] Autism: [dice+1d13] Strength: [dice+1d11] Skill: [dice+1d11] Alright, I'm going to explain the LASS system better. You select what dice you want to roll, if you beat my roll then the action will be a success. Don't roll unless prompted, unless it's a saving throw. Saving throws are when the shit hits the fan and it'll be your last attempt to change the outcome. Saving throws are accepted at the QM's decision. Sometimes tasks require a certain roll, so some dice options might be unavailable for the task. If you want to see the LASS system in practice read Starry Eyes CYOA. Personal goals: >bench press a tank successfully >acquire poon >boop everyone and everything >acquire campfire(?) >gas the bird jews Personal Inventory: >fatigues >canteen >dog tags >wallet >recruitment papers Equestria Army Mechanical Division Reserves members: Anonymous, Amity, Flash Point, Grease Can, Flicker Switch, Long Ranger, Damsel Distress, Shady Days Potential group names: Desert Rejects, Mavericks, Regulators >Anonymous: Current commander/superior officer. Literally (you). black friday sales survivor. Has multiple personality disorder. Faggot Supreme. Wet Bitch" status >Amity Accord: Been here for five months. >"I'm a radio operator and navigator...Though my special talent is battlefield tactics..." >FP: "War games yes. I played Risk against her a while back. The mare is a psycho, she wouldn't let me quit until every one of my units on the board has been wiped out. Don't let her Trottenham accent and tea drinking fool you, she's a savage when it comes to tactics >dad is dead >Flash Point (Pointy, FP): has basic bitch knowledge of how to drive tanks. Ciggy addict. Been here two years. >My specialty is explosives and I'm the tank's loader....Trust me you'll never meet a better demo-mare like me >Amity: "Right...I got that cutie mark while I was playing the Civilisation Board Game when I was a filly...Peace was never an option..." >very receptive to hugs >Cares for Amity and Grease, they're the only reason she stuck around. >Grease Can: the tank mechanic. Knows how to drive tanks. Been here for a year. >Why did she join? | "I heard that Equestria's army was recruiting, I leaped for the chance, I always wanted to work on these machines..." >Flicker Switch - Engineer >Long Ranger - Gunner >Damsel Distress - Driver >Shady Days - "comms expert" General Base Inventory: >basic supplies and a few luxuries like soap, cigarettes >Ten kilo's of condemned tools, three jerry cans...empty of course. >"Two boxes of ammunition, one rifle, radio headphones, a box of nails, a coil of heavy-duty towing cable, a broken padlock... >a desk fan with no motor >A pocket radio: You flick the switch to the radio, it seems to work as static comes from its speakers. >playing cards, toilet paper, vegetable oil, methanol, sodium chloride, duct tape, small nets, bags, bleach, papers, pencils, pencil sharpeners, stamps letter envelop Barracks Tent: >basic wooden barracks, fifty hooves wide by two hundred hooves long bed frames and wooden lockers included. (soon) >pillows >a large blanket >misc personal belongings >twelve sets of fatigues, a plush, an old issue of hoof holdin' hotties magazine >everyone stays warm via pony pile >You enter the barrack tent, you are surprised how empty it is. >Theres a few pillows a sheet, and a few belongings scattered around. >She notices you looking at the living conditions. >Grease: "We're still waiting to be supplied with beds, so we sleep in a pony pile." >She takes a greedy gulp of her water. >Grease: "It's not the best arrangement, but we share our body heat to get us through the cold desert nights..." Mess Tent: >Food and perishable goods stored here >kitchen stuff probably here >weapons stored here >empty buckets >two hundred tea bags, two months' worth of hay packs, good old out-of-date cider, one mess tin, four canteens, a half-eaten sandwich, two bottles of Rose -Carton of long-life UHT milk. -Bottle of Tomato Ketchup. -Pack of Vegetable Suet. -Pack of six eggs. (less after making pancakes?) -Tin of Sweet Corn. -Six pack of Kirin Beer, with one missing. -An IOU note to Amity. -A single unpackaged hay tendie. (to be discected for study) -A single Black Skull Chilipepper. cooking idea: discover dark secrets to hay based foods. Grease thinks hayfires and hay burgers are mashed veg that's been fried. Grocery ideas: UHT milk is stupid cheap. you can buy a ton of those from any dollar store. Outhouse: >you shit here Oasis: >water not polluted enough to kill plants >plants growing around the oasis >underground water table all pools to the Oasis >water slightly tainted with diesel >Amity: "Not really, probably once a year. Don't worry there is an oasis not too far from here. Though don't drink the water, we lost a tank in it and now it tastes of diesel." >Now she mentions it, she does smell strongly of diesel, originally you thought it was the tank. >FP: "...Well, what they are saying checks out about being a water table underneath the ground. It runs underground and pools at the oasis." >FP: "Well this is it. Our water supply...Just don't ask how it got in there..." [the tank] Anon: Hmm, there’s some plant life in this oasis, so it’s not salty. And the diesel level isn’t high enough to kill them off either. Once we pull the tank out, we can likely filter this into an acceptable gray water. | >FP: "Luckily, it was nearly out of fuel when it went in..." Armaments: shells and ammo are stored in the tanks, some are scattered around, guns are stored in mess tent under lock and key Stalliongrad T-34 DOA Stalliongrad T-34 DOA Stalliongrad T-34 Repairing Stalliongrad T-34 Active Stalliongrad ZIS-30 Repairing Trottingham Cornwell (Prototype) Recovering Trottingham Nickers A4E12 N/A [To Be Delivered] Neighponise Type 3 Chi-Nu {TBC} Neighponise Type 95 Ha-Go {TBC} Kirin T-34-85 {TBC} https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/T-34 >Zissy: ...It's a light self-propelled anti-tank gun from Stalliongrad. After they rejoined Equestria all their old stock ended up here. Though most of it has been sold for scrap metal..." | Grease Can's passion project Grease: Oh, Zissy will take a while, but the engine starts at least. >1 M1 Garand: M1 with the 308 Winniechester rounds. 2 boxes worth of ammo. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/M1_Garand Nickers A4E12: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vickers-Carden-Loyd_light_amphibious_tank https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cromwell_tank Oasis tank: >FP: "This tank is a little weighty, so well probably need two tanks to pull this thing out." >The tank gives you not a blessing but a vision. >A lake. A lake you have never seen before in foreign lands. >And another partly submerged tank. >You hear a battle behind you. Yet you are alone. Tank ideas: install fans or AC units to prevent heat stroke remove guns from dead tanks to be repaired and repurposed Anon: Statistically, tank crews don't die all that often, but ultimately it's still up to chance. Plus, according to some of the memoirs, there was a known problem with T-34, something about that the radist doesn't have time to leave the burning tank. Gonna research it further when I'll have the time. >>>Dust Bowl (town?): >"It's just like any frontier town, has the basics. I'm guessing supply want's us to use that voucher there as the lumber yard is there, that place holds the timber for all the nearby towns >>Everything and Anything: Owned by Salesy and the town's only shop. Anon: Whatcha got? | >Salesy: "Everything. If we don't have it here we can order it in." >Salesy: "I know someone...I'll send a contact to your base, don't talk of it here in this town. You'll see him in a few days...Now nothing more of this." Items on order: ammonia comics off grid survival book plumbing book fundamental mechanics book fundamental electrical workbook martial arts books The Art of War >Salesy: "The other items that I don't have here will be on order by the end of today. Don't be a stranger now...Oh and a contact will be at your base in a few days." Items FP went back to put in: hoof crank pump set up, digging tool, ham radio, clock, alarm clock, watch, stop watch, scrap metal (future targeting range), binoculars, showers, paint and rust removal stuff, gun cleaning kit (gun cleaning pad/mat, gun cleaning solvent, cleaning rod, bore brush, patch holders or cleaning jags, cotton cleaning patches, luster cloth), rope? [Items will now arrive via supply deliveries over the next few days] >>Hardwoods Frontier Wood Emporium: Owned and opperated by Hardwood >probably single >looks like a gay bottom >Hardwood has a hot date with FP later tonight at 8 Goals: >clock, alarm clock, watch, stop watch >get gun safety and training >ham radio >get beds >set up a perimeter >get more firepower >fix tanks >build shower >make biodiesel en bulk Begin a more rigorous training session so that we are adequately prepared for any threats that come our way - Figure out how to get that tank out of the oasis >create a firing range >teach everyone about weapons safety, how to properly shoot, how to clean guns >introduce proper PT training >proper tank maintenance, practice weapons opperarion >practice combat scenarios >acquire basic bitch kitchen supplies (electric stove, pots, bowls, plates, cups, utensils) >acquire a radio, tv, satallite dish, several decks of cards, and maybe a movie projector for "morale" reasons >fringe+freezers in case of heat stroke incidents >figure out how recruitment works for the Equestrian Army Mechanical Division Reserves >gun cleaning kit >paint and rust removal stuff >create foxholes >acquire camo tarps >anon rolled a 13 in autism to determine cooking skills. is that legit or does not count since OP did not ask for a roll? >acquire scrap metal to build better antenna >create pull-up bar with some wood and/or metal >Put in a request to command for Alfalfa packs and other pony based diety fook packs. Alfalfa hay has more digestible energy, crude protien, and calcium than regular hay (feeding grass). Acquire oats, corn, barley, wheat, milo, molasses, apples >request a book of 1001 different ways to insult a griffin Daily Reserves Schedule (based off of US army basic training) 7am or when FP wakes up, whichever is first: Wake up to perform personal morning tasks and conduct hygiene. The earlier the better before it becomes blistering how. (maybe a small light snack because cute poners) 7:30am: Physical Training (PT). Do lots of calisthenics and running. Ponies can't do push-up (pegasi can do wing ups though), squats (unless using weights), or jumping jacks (how would they even?). Running will be straight forward. Do it Mulan style and have everyone carry two buckets full of sand and start doing laps until reaching the Oasis (quick water break lmao leading a horse to water). If the buckets we have have seals in them, replace sand with water and carry it all back to camp. take a light break before going into calisthenics (EARTH PONY STRENTH! throwing rocks, doing squats with scrap metal, rocks, or buckets full of sand on your back. That, or doing a shit ton of manual labor to dig trenches, fox holes, build things, etc. 8:30am: breakfast 9am: training. learn how to disassemble, reassemble, clean, care, and love your gun. Give your favorite gun a name. Ask the girls if they had any weapon cleaning kits. Would FP and Grease Can know? 10am: training. proper weapon handling. how to check weapons to see they're loaded, how to safely eject round out of chamber, gun etiquette, don't look down the barrel, don't point gun at people carelessly unless you plan to shoot to kill, keep it pointed at the ground, check the weapon's safety, learn different ways to charge the charging handle of rifles. How to shoulder rifles and hold pistols. 11am: training. proper shooting techniques and shooting at targets. Breathing exercises 12pm: Lunch yay! 1pm: training. practice tank operating with crew. 2pm: training. CQC TRAINING! (I don't know how we're gonna do this. It's canon in Friendship is magic that Rainbow Dash knows karate, but beyond that and bucking things I don't know how we can translate human martial arts into the pony format. Maybe we can try adapting krav maga or at least it's fundamental concepts.) 3-5pm: everyone gotta help Anon unfuck this base of operations. 5pm: DINNER YAY! 5pm-until it gets too dark or cold: continue the unfuckening of the base 8pm:personal time 9:pm: lights out. Given that we lack a clock to our current know how -unless the girls have been holding out on us- we'll have to eyeball the time and use the position of the sun to determine when to start and finish our lessons. Also to take into consideration, due to our very small numbers, we may not need so much time for certain lessons, and could in fact cut the time in half if need be. ---NEWS!--- >Radio: This is an Equestrian Crown Announcement, We interrupt your radio schedule to bring you this news... >The Radio plays another tune. >A voice you recognize starts to speak. >Celestia: "My Little Ponies, over the last year we watched gryphon aggression against pony nations outside of Equestria. In our neighboring continent, harmony has failed, nation after nation has fallen to the gryphon tyranny. I promised we would stay out of the conflict, and act via diplomacy, but today their empire has crossed a line that should never be breached. >Today my ponies, an Equestrian civilian vessel has been sunk by gryphon warships. Over a hundred lives were lost early this morning. We believe this was a warning. A warning we do not take lightly. >So with a heavy heart, I call every pony who values liberty, friendship, and harmony to defend our homeland. This is a call, for those who wish to pass liberty, friendship, and harmony to their foals, a call to liberty friendship and harmony everywhere, to all ponies, to all races...Thank you." >The Radio buzzes another tune. This time a new caster chimes in. >Radio: "News just in the Crown has mobilized the Royal Guard and The Regular Army, Fifty thousand soldiers and guards are being sent to unoccupied allied lands to defend them. There is no news from the Crystal Empire, but we have been notified a statement will be put out soon." misc notees: >FP: "It's been three months! Every time we call central command we just get put on hold." >Amity: "Uh thanks?... We got old tanks, we get the gas from that...Though the diesel isn't the cleanest...We got guns, though we keep them at base...We're not allowed them until we get our basic training...Though I'm starting to believe that isn't coming...Everypony in command refuses to come out here." >Amity: "We do, now and again Command will drop a tank here still with shells. Flash Point normally deals with them...We practice shooting rocks in the desert." >Amity: "We get paid every month, so at least our checks come through...Sometimes...Oh if you look ahead you'll see our humble abode, it's not much but everything is there!. The front tent is the barracks, the one behind is the mess and the outhouse is behind that...And the workshop...It's all around us...And I see a delivery!" https://youtube.com/watch?v=NsZMbs5PC64 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HJNz2QgSNsk https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1uZTM6WnICY https://choosesq.com/blog/the-biodiesel-process-making-fuel-from-waste/ https://www.military.com/join-armed-forces/army-weapons-qualification-course.html Paper Bags: old protege of yours, was going to be manager. Unsure if he survived Black Friday. Tannoy: Old co-worker during supermarket days. Unsure if they survived Black Friday. Rolling Check: Old co-worker during supermarket days. Unsure if they survived Black Friday. Shelf Stack: Old co-worker during supermarket days. Unsure if they survived Black Friday. --------- Side PHEER notes: >FP: "Eh, I stopped reading when they killed off Cress..." >FP: "He does. The side character becomes the main character and they just kill him off like that...You need to ask Grease, it's her project." >FP: "You're talking about the Blackhoof Hill arc? Trust me you're not missing much, Willow and Tome get into an argument about the rookie Legion, Rain decides she is leaving. The story then follows Unit C, so we don't know what happens after that. Other than Cress makes an appearance just to be killed off."