https://desu-usergeneratedcontent.xyz/mlp/image/1640/73/1640739238326.jpg "That's your problem right there, anon. You keep clicking on Pipp ups and it keeps crashing the mainframe. Move over, I'm gonna hack in. It's a Unilinux system, after all." >Izzy adjusts her "hacker glasses" and slams her hooves into your laptop keyboard for a few minutes >Keys go flying "They're trying to slice me, anon! Better stand back! This could get ugly!" >She continues to slam her hooves into your keyboard like a retard until half the keys have been sent flying >You hear repeated windows error messages >You watch in horror as your laptop blue screens "Ahhh horse apples! I got sliced! Sorry, anon. Those black hackers meant business!" >You stare at her in a state of shock and anger "How did you get in my FUCKING HOUSE, IZZY!?" "Oh, your door was unlocked! I heard you in here grunting and groaning and you sounded like you were in distress! Then I looked in your room and saw you furiously typing away at the keyboard, and KNEW you must've been hacked." >You groan and facepalm "Well, now that you've HELPED ME, Izzy, I think it's time for you to go." >She looks dejected and slumps her withers "Oh..." >You start picking up your keys that went flying across the room "Look, I was kind of in the middle of something personal when you busted in." >She looks up at you and tilts her head "You mean you weren't being hacked? It sounded like you were really getting frustrated! All that groaning and-" "I WASN'T. I was, uh... Trying to install Gentoo." >She quirks an eyebrow "Anon, I'd rather you just tell me you were jerking off than make up an excuse like that." >She hops off your computer chair and trots across the room to the door >You stand there, dumbfounded "Hey, wait a sec!" >She stops "Yeeeees?"~ "... If you knew what I was doing, why'd you come in here and try to 'fix' my computer?" >She puts a hoof to her chin "Well, Sunny showed me this movie once where a mare needed her computer fixed and a stallion came over and pretended to fix it, but they ended up having sex." >You blink slowly "That was a porno, Izzy." >She squints her eyes "So we're not about to have sex then?" >You are at a loss for words, and thoughts "I mean... Uh..." >She perks up "Alright, then. I'll just think of another way to get you to finally quit being such a mare and breed me! See ya later Anon! Bada da dee dut dow!" >She exits >You stand there, cock and balls dangling in the wind "What the fuck is my life?" >You bend down and pick up the 'Q' key >The next day you're out walking through the streets of Maretime Bay >It ain't much but it's home since you've been foisted into this weird world of tennis ball textured technicolor equines >You walk over to the general store to grab some snacks >Inside you see Izzy standing across way, eagerly searching through different kinds of cheap gas station magazines >You see her grab one with a mare sprawled out on the front of it in a provocative pose "She's not... reading that in the middle of the store, is she?" >You watch her flip through a few pages and then produce a pad and pencil and begin scribbling notes "Oh no." >You turn to walk back out and you hear her call out to you "Oh! Anooon!~" >You quicken your pace "Anon wait!" >You move into a power walk >You hear the clip clop of her hooves quickly closing the distance >You slow down, accepting your fate >You can't outrun a horse >You've tried "Anon! There you are." >She trots around to the front of you with the pornographic magazine still suspended in her magical aura "Anon, I need to ask you something." >You wince and brace yourself "What is it, Izzy?" >She flips the pages open to the centerfold >It shows a unicorn mare spread eagle, fully on display "Do you like what you see?" >You try to avert your eyes, but you have to admit it does look pretty nice "Uh yeah, she looks great." >She closes the magazine "Ah hah! So you DO like unicorns." >You blink a few times "Izzy did you pay for tha-" "Thanks, anon! I'll talk to you later!" >She trots back toward the general store >The next morning you wake up to a strange sound >You wipe your eyes and blink them open, adjusting to the dim morning light >You look around the room >The window is open "Must've been someone outside..." >You roll back over in bed and close your eyes >Just as you're drifting off you hear the noise again >One of your eyes snaps open "Is that my leaf blower?" >You sit up in bed and quickly walk over to your window "What the fuck?" >Izzy is outside in your back yard, your leaf blower being held in her magical aura >She's blowing the leaves from the little plot of land you call your yard >You try to yell over the leaf blower "IZZY! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" >She looks at you, waves, and just continues humming loudly to herself and blowing the leaves around "What the hell is she up to...?" >You hurriedly get dressed to see why you're getting free yard work from a unicorn >You walk out the back door and you approach cautiously >She turns and smiles and cuts the leaf blower off "Hey anon! What's up?" >You scratch your head "Hey, Izzy. I was uh... wondering if you could tell me. I didn't ask you to-" >Suddenly she turns the leaf blower on its highest setting and blasts it right at your crotch "Wha!" >You retract and turn your hips, covering your crotch "Izzy, what the hell?!" >She turns with you and keeps trying to blast your crotch with the leaf blower "IZZY! Iz- Izzy knock it- KNOCK IT OFF!" >You get caught in a strange dance of trying to dodge the blast of air >Finally she shuts it off >You're standing there on one leg covering your crotch with your hip turned "THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING, IZZY?" >She tilts her head "This isn't working for you?" >You blink your eyes slowly "What do you mean?" >You cautiously go back to a normal stance "Huh, that's weird..." >She drops the leaf blower and rubs her chin with a hoof "All the girls told me stallions love being blown.." >You sit in stunned silence for a moment, then pinch the ridge of your nose "Izzy, that's not-" "The magazine even said they liked 'blow jobs'." >You look over at the leaf blower, and then back at Izzy "Izzy, I think you might have misunderstood what a 'blowjob' is..." >She looks at the yard and gestures with a hoof "But I blew it so hard! You should be cumming right now! Unless I did it wrong, somehow..." >She trots out of your back yard slowly and toward the street, lost in thought "Izzy?" >She seems to be in her own little world as she hits the sidewalk and trots back toward town "This is getting ridiculous."