>The abandoned cafe is well secured >Some cultists are heavily armed with assault riffles outside >Luckily, you are a Saint, so that means that you don't give a shit! >You ram a big ATV to the entrance, crushing whatever resistance they could have "Come on norman, go go go!" >"Let's blow these assholes!" >You two get in the first basement >Guys were expecting you >Norman and you take cover behind two pillars "Norman, get ready!" >You throw two smoke grenades to the area >The enemies can't see where you two are >Both attack up front, killing 6 cultists "Change! Cover me!" >you two swap the main weapon, Eight Days style, and you move forward >Norman sends lead to the scattered enemies, and 5 more come from the lower level >Norman takes cover, and all the enemy fire is focused on him >You sneak and take one enemy as human shield >Using your shotgun, you take out 4 more cultists >There's only 3, and they kill your shield >Before taking damage, norman takes out the last enemies using his guns akimbo style "Come on, we have to push through!" >Norman takes a flash grenade, and throws it to the alleway to the sub 2nd floor >A few screams come from low, meaning they are blind >Since is a straight road, you use the shotgun to take another 5 out >When you are about to open the metal door, you see something in the bull's eye "RPG!!" >You and Norman retreat, but the blast was too strong: both fall as the door is blasted away. Behind there's 23 cultists >You two cover at the sides of the door >Norman and you rise the metal door and use it as cover >Norman shoots the MG, trying to mow down as many as he can >After a moment, 15 cultists are together >You take your two UZi's and destroy them >After that, you throw a flashbang "Take cover!" >A white flash goes off, and the cultists are blinded >Norman goes head on to the enemies >Bad move since 10 more appeared from the door taking to the last floor >The enemies retaliate, and Norman evades the shooting MC Hammer style >One bullet passes close to his hips, and his pants fall off, showing his penis >All the cultists stop as they stare the big member in confusion, and Norman hitting a guy in the forehead with it, leaving a mushroom shaped mark "Haha, I though you didn't brought the Penetrator" >Norman recovers and steals one of the cultists's pants >They look like parachuting pants >Before they react to a guy taking some pants, you take the last 8 "Alright, we are free to go" >"Great. I'm tired of the goddamn cultists in the goddamn basement" >When Norman goes to the second metal door to the sub 3rd floor, an explotion opens it >Norman is out! >The crazy cultists are making a last stand by agrouping 3 psychos with a RPG! >You swap the MG with your Saint Brand Dubstep Gun! (tm) >A few shots later, they are dancing to the raving techno music >You use Saint Brand Malt Liquor to revive Norman >"Agh, fuck that hurt" "Come on man, boost me!" >Norman assumes position, and boost you for a small jump forward >Your bracelets shine, and you hulk punch the last cultists >BLAM!!! The entire place gets coated in blood! >"That was awesome!" "This is how Saints fight!" >Yeah! High five time! "Take the rockets. We are blowing this shit up" >Norman takes the RPG and both of you go to the last floor >A maniacal laugh sounds all over the room >Some candles light up, and a priest appears >He made crazy surgeries to his body: his shoulders are plates of metal, and his bald head is bleeding while sporting two big goat horns >His bare chest has serious cuts that read "ironic" >>"Why you two dare to disturb our underground lord's slumber, you plebs?" >"Your "lord" tried to murder me, and I'm going to return the favor!" >>"You have no bussines here!" >He rises a machete, cuts himself, and splats his blood on the floor >From the small drops, big humanoid figures rise >>"Lord Scott, give me strenght to defeat these mainstream sluts" "Alright, let the good times roll!" >You take out a burst rifle, and shoot the humanoids >They look very weak, since one hit makes them explode in small drops of blood "Woah, and I though satanic priests were more original than that" >>"My blood followers were summoned only by me!" "Well, nah. Either dark priests or parasites monsters do that" >>"I was the first on doing that!" "No. How about you bring your zombie army so we get the cliches done? You hipster posse" >>"I am a true hipster priest!" >"Yeah, right. And you won't blow up!" >Norman shoots a rocket to the priest >He got a direct hit! >The priest recovers quickly, and his machete shines red >Norman is reloading the RPG, but before he shoots it again, the priest slashes the air, creating a red crimson wave >Norman gets hit, and the rocket goes to the roof >BUM! The entire top falls, and 2 floors crush him >A red shine comes from the rubble >Norman and you take cover >> *BLAM* "Rocks won't stop my lord's duty!" "Norman! Retreat!" >Carrying his damaged body, Norman goes to the entrance >You shoot all the rubble, rising lots of dust >>"A dirty tactic for a Saint" "At least I don't pray for my own damnation" >You shot to the priest, but the dust cloud is too big >You go into the cloud with your shotgun equiped >A few moments later you found him "Eat lead you fuck!" >A straight shot to the face, but he barely flinched "You have to be fucking kidding me" >The priest grab you, and stabs you with his machete >The armor managed to save you from instant death >He throws you away >>"Do not cry Saint. I'll soon join you to my troops" >Before he strikes again, a barrage of bullets hit his back >It's Norman! "Nolan! Hold on!" >>"You?! The curse of my blade should have killed you?!" >"Next time don't leave medical equipment lying around!" >You manage to run away >The priest starts to scream, but his screams aren't human anymore >He runs towards Norman, slowly turning into a demon >He jumps, and Norman points the RPG at him >>"ROOOAAAAARRRRR!!!!!" "And boom goes the dynamite" >Norman shoots the RPG into the demon's mouth >The monster swallows the projectile, and his body explodes >You are Norman >After a battle through the first circle of Hell, you manage to rise victorious >Maybe you are happy that God gave you a Saint to protect you >A walk deep in the last floor, you see a small strange box >It looks like a bad puppet: the arms, head and legs are just pasted onto a wooden box >You take it and open it >It has a human heart, and a gruesome vibe comes from it >You don't need to add two plus two. This is his heart "Let's go Nolan. We got what we need" >As you two return, the rubble moves and the priest rises, full of bloody bruises and cuts >>"You think you can stop him?" >You and Nolan turn back and shoot him with your pistols >The priest falls, and you two reload >He rises again >>"M-my Lo-rd will kill you" "God fucking dammit" *takes out two colts* >"Just die already!" *pulls out golden Desert Eagle* >You two unload all the bullets into his chest, destroying whatever flesh and bone is inside >The priest falls, and doesn't move >You stay for a bit, but confirming he is gone, you leave again >Or it was before your foot hits his machete >You grab it, and a twisted idea comes to your head >You walk up to the body of the priest, and chop his head off! >Back at the surface, you throw his head in the reciclable can of the cafe >"Remind me to never piss you off" "Too late, I'm already pissed" >you two get inside the ATV, and go back to HQ >In HQ, purple and Sunset are at the entrance "Sunset! You are alright!" >Before you can give her a reassuring hug, she kicks you in the balls and punches your face >You fall on the ground "Ow! The fuck was that for?!" SS: That was for punching me asshole! >She starts to kick you N: Wait! Sunset, stop! TS: The agents explained it to you! It wasn't his fault! SS: I don't give a shit! Let me kick him! >Nolan grabs her and starts carrying her away SS: Let me go you idiot! I'm not done with him! >Nolan carries Sunset inside the building, and you are left with Purple "Ugh... And I though her kicks hurted when she used boots, heels are a bitch" >"Sorry, when the agents told her what happened she didn't took it so well" "I could see it Purple. She kicked my balls" >You stand up "Come on. Nolan took the item inside. We have to go"