Spank Marine by Anon

(27/06/2014 - 26/08/2014)

https://desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/18406938/#q18455852
https://desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/18441306/#q18466917
https://desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/19413273/#q19443096

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 >"Haha, look at the loser Anon, all by himself, just like every day."
>"Anon is such a loser, he doesn't even have any friends."
"Vile xeno I need no acceptance from you!"
>At this Rainbow Dash assumes the fighting stance.
>"Well here Anon your're the xeno."
>Did this bitch just call you a xeno?
"foul xeno I'll purge you!"
>As you charge her, princess Sparkle decides to make an appearance.
>"Hey! Rainbow dash what have I told you about instigating anon."
>"Pssha whatever I could take the big dolt any day."
>Shes saying she could take on 7-ft of pure power armor and muscle.
>When the princesses themselves couldn't even put a dent in his armor.
>"Dashie what have we said about letting your ego get the better of you"
>"Hey, The freak already left."
>"Rainbow dash for the safety of yourself and all living creatures in Equestria , please stop trying to make Anonymous kill you."
>"Yeah,yeah whatever"
>Totally over her head
>Anon was just lurking near by,He always did like when Miss Sparkle asserted her dominance over her subjects.
>You finish up your shopping from before the little incident.
"Thanks Mrs.Cake and please make sure to send for me when pinkie throw those parties.
>"Of course dear." said Mrs.cake handing him his assorted baked goods.
>you walk into the plaza,no sign of Rainbow dash
>Must have finally realized how much of a fool she's been.
>As you walk towards Jacqueline of apples stall.
>You feel something impact your back.
>But you ignore it, because it's just the problem child.
"Greeting miss Jacqueline."
>"Hello Anon, how many time do I have to tell ya, just call me applejack."
"Ma'am where I from it's rude to call a lady such as your self anything lower,."
>"Now,Anon i don't think lady is the, proper term,for me. now am just a farmer.
"Yes the noblest of all profession except warrior."
>"Now you just flatting me."
>with this she let's loose a giggle.
>and now that you've stooped talking your back feels,caked in something. 

>You reach around and fill your coat that you made from Manticore hide, covered in cake.
>" Aha about time look noticed you big oaf."
>Apple just hangs her head in shame.
>"Now Rainbow I don't know what anons done to you to deserve this , but it's not kind."
"Miss jack please i can handle this."
>You turn your attention skyward, shes floating just out of reach.
"Small horse , you have 5 second to cease or I'll beat you like you mother should have."
>"Yeah right,I'm way up here to can't grab me."
>you chuckle to yourself,taking the biggest ripest apple out of your bag.
>And you hurl it at the problem child.
>the connects with her wing and she plummets to the ground.
"Now rainbow dash i've told you to ceass but since I've arrived you've been nothing but rude."
>You pick rainbow dash up and set her arcoss your lap, you ready your hand
"Now miss Dash this hurts me more than it will hurt you."
>You slap rainbows flank with your hand the size of a bowling ball,She starts crying.
"Now am gonna say this one more time,cease the bulling and horseplay,or i'll cease it for you.
>slap her flank one more time, you let her go.
"Alright, sorry for the disturbance everyone."
>"that's a mighty fine lickin you give there anon."
>applejack blushes at the thought.
"Why thank you Applejack, i would stay around but gotta preach the Emperor's holy word."
>A small mint green pone appears before you.
"Hello green equine would you like me glory you of mankind's wisdom and power."
>she stares blankly at you muttering something.
>"Handsssss"
>She licks her lips while saying this.
>'one of those ponies' you think to your self before setting yourself down on ground in the corner of the plaza.

>As you regaled the mint pony with stories and humanity's many conquests , other ponies started to show up.
>soon you had a a large group,even a few foals were listing in.
>you were a little disappointed that you had to censor them a bit,for the wee ponies.
>soon they began asking about you and the Adeptus Astartes.
>you told them about how you were apart of the Lamenter chapter.
> And how for barge was lost to the warp and how you awoke on this strange planet.
>while telling the story of Bijorn the fell handed you completely forget the censor yourself.
>and you start getting giddy.
>You remember and tell them about the time Bijorn took on Angron the Daemon primrarch.
>Reveling in every gory detail.
>The ponies listen though some for the more squeamish ones cover their ears.
>but your group never thins.
>When you get to the part when Angron bisects Bijorn, a few of the ponies start to cry.
>you lighten the mood with how Bijorn survived and punched Angron in his Heretic face.
>Then you regal them with the evacuation of Norvan 5 which landed you on this planet.
>You tell the about the sacrifices your chapter made to protect the civilians.
>And the honor of fighting with the imperial guard where not a single man retreated.
>you tell them how you punched in the face of a daemon of Khorn.
>you leave out the part where your hand got cut off though.
>even when the plaza was empty and a majority of you group left a few stayed.
>As you packed up you, realize you spent the whole day telling stories.
>you walk home for the night.
>Still no sign of the problem child,
>Tonight you could rest.

>As you settle in to sleep.
>But not really Astartes don't need to sleep.
>You open one of the books on equestrian history.
>You find section called 'war of Discord'
>you've met him but he seemed a little put off by you.
>You've always loved a good book.
>you listen to the sounds of the Everfree forest.
>Ponies always wondered why you live far out here , many have offered to let you stay with them.
>But you refuse every time , 
>soon you start yawning and thinking of your battle brothers, and combat, and your bolter.
>You pray to the God Emperor , and you rest.
>Hearing the timber wolves howling and the manticore's cry.
>you drift off into a dreamless rest.
>While your resting you hear shuffling and talking
>" um are you sure we should be here."
>"Why the oaf isn't going to know what hit him."
>Oh the problem child and Miss Shy and paying you a visit.
>Unbeknownst to them , astartes don't sleep
>you ready your spanking hand , but you hear them stop.
>their setting a trap outside your house.
>you start thinking should you go out there and spank the problem child , or wait inside and foil the little trap.
>You decide to foil the trap later.
>You start resting again when your door knob starts jiggling.
>"Dashie please stop."
>"You can go home anytime Fluttershy.
>"I need to make sure you don't get hurt."
>"Bullhickie I ain't scared of some big ape."
>she called you an ape...ape..
>Less than human.
>You decide to take action , grabbing your stick to shoo away the problem child.
>You start the creep toward the door , and ever so careful unlock it.
>"heh see nothing to it."
"Miss Dash, Preparing to vandalize my home I see."
>She frozen , better get is over with.
"Miss Shy you could go home , I know a kind pony like you could never do something like this."
>You lay dash over your lap.
"What did 'hit' I tell you 'hit' about acting rude toward others 'hit' 'hit'. 

and now for the continuation of Spank Marine.
>You awake and prepare yourself to regal the ponies in more stories.
>While putting on your manticore skin coat that Rarity made for you, a though pops into your head.
>what if you could convert some of the ponies into praising the emperor.
>it was your duty to protect the innocent.
>as you walk into your spot at the plaza, but none of the ponies are here , not even lyra,
>You see fireworks and hear cheering.
>As you squeeze into the crowd, you see twilight on stage.
>"And I the great and powerful Trixie will tame the fierce Ursa major."
>You remember back into your lore , that the Ursa major was a "star beast" and considered ultra deadly.
>You proceed to step on stage
>"What's this, a being from the forest, do not worry ponies the great and powerful Trixie will protect you."
>you take in that these ponies aren't very smart.
>as you raise your hand to speak she starts balsting you with spells.
>these aren't gonna work, you calmly walk up to her.
>lay her over your knee.
"No one 'hit' interrupts 'hit hit hit' my 'hit' story time 'hit'.
>She crys into you nice coat
>"All i wanted was friend, to belong."
>You don't have time for this ,you stuff her in her cart and throw her over the moon.
>you forgot the stage.
>You get a chair and sit down.
"Ponies i shall tell you the story of the bitch who was stupid." 

>As you tell your captive audience the story of Horus the bitch who was stupid , a cry goes off.
>The problem child and The stupid and misinformed tart have teamed up.
>"He he you big oaf were gonna knock you out."
>"The Great and Powerful Trixie doesn't like interruptions neither."
"Small blue equine I apologize , it's just you were gonna destroy the town , see i care for the safety of everyone and besides what fun is watching a town get destroyed no to impress.
>"I guess you're right."
>"Really trixie your just gonna let this ape persuade you like that?"
>"He has such away with words."
>Trixie blushes at this.
>"And mr. uh.."
"Just call me anon."
>"my names really lulamoon."
"Oh much more suiting for a mare of your type."
>"Alright Anon, um everyone's starting at us."
>the showmare was right everypony was staring at you even rainbow dash , Twilight Sparkle was no where to be found 
"Miss Lulamoon perhaps we could agree on something."
>You agree to tell your insanely violent stories with Trixie doing sound effects and lights.
>Your a hit! the ponies enjoy battles and then fireworks and pretty lights.
>You even put a love scene in for the mares.
>On second thought never do that again. ever.
>The mare couldn't handle the ending.
>Consorting with a xeno is heresy , you explained to them, many got it the one pony got hooked one it,xenophobia is always good.
>when you finish the day off you say good bye to your new friend , then walk home.
>"Hey! hello there,"
>you're greeted by the queen of the night.
"Your Majesty,"
>You give a curt bow.
>"Anonymous twilight has brought to our attention that rainbow dash has been Behaving rudely toward you."
"Majesty, The barer of the crest of Loyalty is just afraid her friends will leave her, but to them she is still their friend."
>With this you place your hand on the shoulder of the ailcorn.
"Majesty, are you aware how i came into this world?"
>"No am afraid not anon."
"well I came though a place called the warp." 

"The immaterium is a place that runs on emothions , it is the very crossroads of the universe."
>"what are you implying anon?"
"Something may have come though."
>As much as you din't believe it , the chances are roughly not it your favor , not that you'ed tell your hosts that.
"Princess, the daemon known as discord might have been the reason i was pulled though.
>"Anon my sister pull Discord in suspended animation thousands of years ago."
"The fact that I arrived untainted mean someone pulled me here , but for what purpose."
>"Sir. Anonymous are you implying that Discord planed to pull you though?"
"Yes , I am daemons like Discord serve the Changer of ways, God of magic and planing."
>As sicking as it was to think this place was tainted with chaos it's your job as an Adeptus Astartes to put an end to a chaos worshipers but the presence of Discord made sure this planet was at once a tainted.
"Princess do not worry it's my job to deal with daemons should one be here , just keep a close eye on discord."
>At this she sighs.
>"Anonymous my sister has him on display , perhaps you could recommend a safer secluded hiding place?"
"Only one place princess."
>A hour later you were in enjoying the sight of your new lawn ornament.
"Thanks this place needed some brightening up."
>And a fallen daemon is always cheerful , showing the perseverance of man.
>As you wish the princess goodbye, you start work and a battle plan should a daemon really be here.
>when to first got here your power armor was ruined, you chainsword and powersword were one your person, your laspistol and bolter were safe and sound , and your vox still worked.
>Sometimes you think you could hear the chatter of imperial guardsmen on it but could never talk back, even it you did they would just purge the ponies and declare you corrupt.
>some times you really really hate the Ecclesiarchy.
>you may never see another Astartes ever again.
>and it didn't bother you. this was your home now.