>finish your meal
>rub at the spot Eris licked
"Hey, I'm not gonna start growing scales there or anything, right?"
>Eris peers at you
>rubs her chin
>"Naaahh, I'll wait 'til the novelty of a monkey-"
"Human."
>"-wears off on everypony. THEN I might start playing with that."
>she smirks
>"Y'know, unless I get bored and change my mind. But no, your skin will stay skin for now."
>edge away from her
>suddenly yawn
>geez, it's been a long day of walking, hasn't it
"Say, Eris, where am I sleeping here?"
>glance out the kitchen door to the non-Euclidean hallway
"Or rather, how do I get there?"
>"Take a left, knock twice on the second door on your right, and then take the fourth door on your left."
>repeat her instructions to yourself
"Kinda complicated, isn't it?"
>"Nah, you don't even need a slide rule or a wheel of cheddar."
>open your mouth to say something
>decide against it
>take a deep breath
>left out the door
>second door on your right
>knock, knock
>then one, two, three...
>four? Or did she say five?
>glance down the way you came
>there's no hallway
>you're next to the front door
>welp
>push the door open
>Eris startles back
>as do you, on seeing her
>she's quite large
>as is the kitchen around her...
>and the kitchen floor is so far away
>poke your head in (carefully) and look to the side
>you... opened a cupboard?
>"Your other left, Anon. Turn around."
>nod, pull the door closed behind you
>turn around
>see a green door labeled "Anon"
>surely that wasn't there before
>open carefully
>it looks...
>very normal
>unassuming dresser with a standard, non-funhouse mirror
>nondescript, queen-sized bed
>or, considering what Eris told you of this place, princess-sized?
>step inside
>reflexively reach for a lightswitch
>lanterns light up with magical flames
>"Not bad, eh?"
>Eris glides into the room and pirouettes to a stop
>she's only slightly taller than you, back to her usual height
>or maybe you're the one who'd changed
"Yeah, this is great, thanks! I'm just surprised it's not more..."
>open a drawer
>empty
>until Eris pulls herself out of it
>"Chaotic? Yeah, well, most ponies need a good night's sleep to properly appreciate some good nonsense. So, a disgustingly normal, orderly bedroom for guests."
>scampers around you and encircles your body
>like some mismatched furry, scaly, feathery snake
>grins and sweeps her avian arm out in front of you both
>"But just say the word, and I'll fill the room with beautiful chaos! More chaos than you can handle!"