>Be Normal Norman
>At the cinema with Naomy Nobody (Blueberry Cake to her friends)
>While you two broke up, she is really nice to hang out
>Nice attitude, calm sense of fashion, really humble demeanor
>Plus, making her happy means her brother won't break your face because you made her little sis sad
>"Thanks for taking me to the movies norman"
"Don't mention it. It was a boring day anyway"
>"Well, it's still a nice gesture. As a thank you gift, you can pick the movie now. Popcorn's on me"
"Cool. Go ahead then, I'll see the catalog"
>Naomi leaves you alone as you see the movies
>Action, horror, romance, comedy, drama
>"Hello darling"
>You turn around, and see the Aryan Beauty
"Ar-! I mean, Rarity! H-how are you?"
>"Why, I'm fine Mr. Normal. I have a complain though"
"And what is it?"
>"Well, I asked the girls to see a movie with me, but they didn't arrived yet. I'm afraid I'll probably see the movie alone"
>Oh shit
>This is the chance of your life!
>You can have a date with the Aryan Beauty
>Wait! Your hormones are defeated by your fears!
>If you leave Naomi alone, Timothy will destroy your face
>What are you going to do?!

>Come on, you can't lose this opportunity
>This is it! This is the moment you waited all your life!
"Could you excuse me for a second?"
>Without waiting for an answer, you run outside the cinema
>Looking around, you find another dude that looks like you
"Hey, you!"
>He notices you
"Yeah, you! I need to talk to you!"
>After a small run, you catch him up
"Man, I saw you with magic chick and wub girl. I need to ask you a favor"
>"Dude, we barely know each other. I saw you in the cafeteria, but we never talk"
"I know, but you are the only one you can help me now. There's a girl I like, she is alone now, and it's my chance to impress her. But I can't leave my friend alone"
>"So you want me to hang out with your friend while you are with that girl? I'll do it, but it's going to cost you"
"Okay, but let's talk about that later. We have to hurry"
>After grabbing the guy, both meet with Rarity on the line
>"Oh! Norman, good to see you"
"Yeah. I see you picked a movie now"
>"Well, the movie just came out. May as well don't miss it"
"Good"
>"Who is the man with you? One of your friends?"
"Well, he-"
>>"My name is Regular Reggie, miss. Nice to meet you"
>He just shake her hands
>"Nice to meet you Mr. Regular"
>>"Likewise. If you excuse me, I need some sodas"
"Let me help"
>Both of you separate from Rarity
>"okay man, where's your homie?"
"Yeah, she is over there"
>He raises an eyebrow
>"Wait, "she"? You are leaving your girl for another? Dude, that's cold"
"I know! Just do this for me!"
>>"Norman!"
>Naomi saw you and it's coming to your direction
>>"Norman, where were you? I had the popcorn for a long time. At least you chose the movie?"
"Well, something came up, and I called my friend to be with you. He is-"
>"Common Conan. Nice to meet you, miss?"
>>"Naomi Nobody"
>Wait, why did he changed his name?
>"Well Naomi, guess we'll hang for a while. I think you should be going man, your "appointment" won't wait for long"

>He sounded dissapointed, but who cares? You have Rarity now!
"Okay guys, see you later"
>"See you around dude"
>>"Until next time Norman"
>You hurry to see rarity
>Luckily, she was next in line
>"One fo-"
"Two for the same movie please!"
>"Norman? I though you were with your friends"
"Nah, I needed to... go to the washroom"
>"Oh"
"Plus, I though you will have more fun if you could hang with somebody"
>"My, how generous. You really are a nice friend"
>Friendzoned, but that's bullshit
>When this is over you two will be a couple
>The girl behind the counter charges $20 and gives you the tickets
>An european movie
>After entering the theater, maybe you will admit you made a mistake
>Is french, so you can't understand shit. No subs either
>Also, you can't make a move
>It's about a love during WWII
>You at least gave her your handkerchief to dry her tears
"Excuse me, I need to refresh myself"
>*snif* "Didn't you went before?"
"I had too much soda, sorry"
>You leave her seeing the movie
>Outside at the hall you sigh
>Man, this is a fucking bore
>You see the other rooms
>Many more entertaining movies, but you can't leave Rarity for long

>You see around the hall. They added a pinball game
>That should do it
>While the movie sucks, you still have to return after a bit
>A game of pinball at least takes enough time like making a trip to the john
>You put a quarter in, and it grants you three balls
>Anyway, you burn them quite quickly
>Three lives aren't enough to get used to real life physics
>At least the last ball managed to get a small bonus
>Well, the boring part must happened already, so you return to the theater
>You couldn't understand a lot, but the main idea was understandable
>Guy went against germans, girlfriend's a jew, she escapes the camps, dude gets shot
>Both reunited on the battlefield, he speaks his last words
>Rarity is almost broken to tears
>The rest of people starts hugging, some kissing

>Well, it's now or never
>Since everyone is crying, you must follow suit
>You start to remember all the sad events in your life; easy after you moved from Philadelphia
>The friends you left behind, your old school, and now the many problems Rarity's friends always put you in
>Tears come from your eyes, and you reach a tissue
>You pass some to Rarity
>"Darling?"
"You need them as well"
>She takes it and clean some of her face
>"I though you didn't like the movie"
"I don't"
>Both your eyes meet, a gaze of determination on yours
"But I like way less see you cry"
>"Norman?"
>You get closer
"I'll be there to protect your smile. I don't want to see you cry"
>Both faces are very close now
"I'll be there always to support you Rarity"
>She looks surprised
>"W-why would you do that?"

"I'll do it because I love you"
>You move for a kiss, but then...
>*Splash*
>"Oh! Sorry darling..."
"No, it's ok Rarity, it's just soda. Anyway, where were we?"
>She smiles, and both are ready to try again, but...
>*Chomp*
"Ow! What was that?"
>The bites starts to be more frequent, and you scratch your right thigh
"Why so many?"
>"Are you feeling well Norman?"
"No! Something is wrong with my pants!"
>The movie ends and lights are back
>If the film wasn't an horror show, it is now
>Your right leg is black, full of ants
"Ahhhhh!!!!"
>You run to the hall trying to get rid of the ants
----
Meanwhile, at the hall
>"You though it was a good idea to postpone fumigation miss Montage?"
>>"Do not worry Mr. manager, what's the worst that could happen?"
"Ahhhh!!!!!"
>You run around like a madman with a black leg full of ants
>People is shocked, and some start to film with their phones
>"You are fired"
>You remove your pants, but worst case scenario happens
>The ants reached your legs, and they are still trying to collect the syrup of the soda
>In a desperate attempt, you throw your body to the fountain, and the bites stop
>Problems didn't
>The girl of the cinema jumps at you
>"You asshole! This is your fault! Now I don't have a job!"
>Between the shaking, the splashing, and the fast movement, you couldn't see anything
>Trying to grab something, you feel a thing in your hand, so you use all your strenght to hold onto it
>It was a mistake
*RRIIIIIPPPPP!!!!*
>"KIAAAAAA!!!*
>You get a better feel, and notice is a type of cloth
>You dry your face with it, and notice is the girl's uniform! And her bra!
>Covering herself, she runs away screaming as the security mall arrives
>The water makes their segways slip, and some shot their stun guns by accident
>The water of the fountain got electrified
*ZZZZAAAAPPPPP* "AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!"
>The only thing floating is your fried body

>"AHAHAHAHA!!!"
>Your friends are still laughing at the video, but you ignore them
>In fact, you ignore everything
>Your beanie is extended to cover all your face, and you walk with a cane to feel your surroundings
>You find your locker, and you rise your beanie to see before anyone see your face
>"Hey, antboy"
>Fuck
"Yeah?"
>It's the guy that looks like you
>"Haha, look: I won't ask what happened. I just came to tell you I had the best day of my life yesterday. The movie was awesome, Naomi is really fun, and I would charge you for my help, but the video made me smile like a man out of prison. Here"
>He gives you his number. It has his real name: Luca Crew
>"Lucky for the homies. If you ever do any shit, legal or not, call me. I'm in"
>He walks away laughing
>"Darling"
>Crap, this is getting worse
"Hello Rarity"
>"I just wanted to apologize. If I haven't spilled that soda, that would have never happened"
"Don't worry, it wasn't your fault"
>"What do you mean?"
"I overhead the manager. One of the employees skiped fumigation. Ants took over without anyone notice"
>"Oh, how unfortunate"
>You find your books, and close your locker
"Well, it was nice to see you"
>You were going to pull down your beanie, but Rarity stops you
>"Wait, before you go, I would like to invite you for dinner. This Friday at my place?"
"I got humilliated internationally. You still want to be with me?"
>"Call it compensation. Besides, we can see movies at my house without any ants or spilled sodas"
"Oh! Well... haha, yeah, I accept. It's a date"
>"Alright. Until friday Mr. Normal"
>As she walks away, you have the biggest smile on your face

End