Originally uploaded to Pastebin: November 29th, 2012
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>Day e=mc2 in Equestria
>Wake up surrounded by papers and blueprints
>Fall out of bed and prepare some coffee to kick start your brain
>Look outside your kitchen window as you try to remember who you are again
>Oh yeah
>Cackle maniacally at the prospect of a new day
>You are Anon
>Mad Scientist
>PhD
>After creating a temporal rift during a SWAT raid on your old home, you managed to obliterate and contort the attacking party with the force of a black hole.
>You still can't get the mental images out your mind
>Unfortunately you also got sucked in, and rather than being sub atomically torn asunder as one would expect after falling into a black hole, you instead ended up here
>In Equestria
>Or as you like to call it: Test Ground v2
>Look out over Ponyville, or Testing Facility Alpha
>Smile as various contraptions and machines circle your mind, begging to be created and unleashed upon the innocent populace
Later, my beauties... Later...
>Throw on your lab coat and Personal Anti Pony Shield, or PAPS.
>Marvellous creation on your part, it's a hand held, solar powered energy field that negates that pesky magic that gave you so much trouble when you first got here.
>As well as becoming harder than diamonds when hit with enough kinetic energy
>Smile at the memory of Big Mac kicking you in the chest then spending 4 weeks in hospital after you tested the device
>Put on a top hat and pick up a cane just for the sake of being classy
>Head out the door
>Giggle
>This day is going to be perfect.
>Stroll down the road and into Ponyville
>As usual, the ponies that see you run back indoors and lock anything that can be locked
>Hear Rarity scream somewhere
>"He's here! Everyp0ny inside! Hurry!"
>Feels fantastic, man.
>See a pony at her fruit stall
>Her eyes are filled with the kind of fear a pony would feel when confronted with a mad scientist
>Oh wait
>Giggle again
>Strut on up to her
Good day, fellow citizen! I would like to buy some... 
>Take a second to see what it is you're about to "buy"
>Oranges
>Lovely
Oranges!
>Give her your best smile
>She faints
>All the ladies want a bit of Anon.
>Whistle a merry tune and grab as many oranges as you can, gently putting them in your satchel
>You'll pay her later
>Look closely at the orange
>You know what would make this thing better?
>An engine. And a laser beam.
>And an anti-gravity floatation system
>Start to get excited at the thought of an army of flying oranges laying waste to the countryside
>Dinner can wait, you have science to do
>Turn around and scream like a girl
>It's here.
>Again.
>Fluttershy is hovering infront of you, smiling nervously
>Compose yourself quickly
Ah... Greetings, Fluttershy.
>"H-hello, Anon! Lovely day, isn't it?"
>Look around
>Sure is a nice day
>Blue sky, bright sun, warm air.
>Ponder the possibility of an atmospheric dye turning the sky blood red
>And then blowing up the sun
>And introducing a new Ice Age
>Sounds great! You'll do it after the Orange Army.
>You must be lost in thought, as Fluttershy is waving a hoof infront of your eyes
>Flinch
>Fluttershy screams
>You scream
>She screams louder
>You clasp a hand over her mouth
>She freezes and falls flat on her back
>Fluttershy. Such a curious pony.
>When you first came to Equestria, Fluttershy was noticeably different right off the bat.
>While the other ponies, such as Twilight ran in fear or tried to fight back, Fluttershy was the only one who filled your mailbox with flowers and fruit instead of Arcane Bombs.
>She'd taken a liking to you
>Whether it was the fact that you were insane, a hermit or incredibly handsome-
>(You run a hand through your hair)
>-You'll never know. But she always seemed eager to spend as much time near you as possible.
>You can't bring yourself to dispose of her though, she's like a child, clamouring for your attention.
>She even helped you create the forcefield surrounding your house, even if it meant she couldn't knock on your door every morning
>She tried to knock on the forcefield, but she electrocuted herself and was paralysed for a week,
>You still remember propping her rigid body against a tree and using her as target practice for your Cancer Canon
>You also remember performing surgery on her to remove said cancer
>Oh Fluttershy.
>"So..."
>Snap out of memory lane
So...
>Both of you shuffle awkwardly for while
>Remember that you're a mad scientist, feared by millions across the globe, and that you don't have time for awkward conversations
Fluttershy. I must go. I have work to do. Goodbye
>Head back towards your fortress
>House.
>You meant house.
>Fluttershy flies after you
>"W-wait! Can I help you with anything?"
No.
>"Can I get shot at again?"
No.
>"Can I lie on a table and get cybernetic implants again?"
No.
>"Can I lie on a table and get cybernetic implants removed because my body rejected them again?"
>Oh yeah. You remember that. It was a fun week, but Fluttershy's new brain was in danger of becoming so intelligent it could grow an army of Cybershys.
>You had to remove it and replace it with a kangaroo's brain.
>Look at her
>She's bouncing along the floor alongside you rather than flying
>Don't see the difference between that and her old brain, to be honest.
>"S-so is that a yes?"
No.
>She sighs
>"Can I spend the day with you?"
>Stop walking and look down at her
>She looks at you with huge eyes filled with hope
>You consider her your only friend in this world, even though you'd never admit it to her.
>Can't go giving her any ideas.
>Place a hand on her shoulder and smile
No.
>She pouts
>You carry on walking.
>Arrive at your lair/house
>Pass through the forcefield thanks to your ID sensor.
>Remember Fluttershy was behind you
>Turn around
Wait-
>Too late
>You shield your eyes and watch as she contorts and spasms against the field
>She falls back, smoking and dazed
>But not paralyzed, for some reason
>Must have gained an immunity to electric fields.
>Can't say you're surprised
>She's done this over 17 times.
>So many opportunities for target practice
>So much cancer.
>Rub your temples with your index fingers
>Pull out a small remote and press the button
>The field fizzles out 
>Pick up Fluttershy
>Feel arcs or electricity dancing around you
>Feels electric, man.
>Turn on the field again and walk inside
>This fuckin' pony.
>Place her on your workchair and go make yourself some more coffee.
>Hear her moaning while you make it
>She stumbles into the kitchen holding her head and groaning
>"W..w-what..."
You walked into the barrier. Again.
>"Oh... Sorry..."
>She's always sorry
>Kinda cute, really.
>But you'd never tell her that.
Well, while you're here, I suppose you can help me with one little thing.
>She instantly recovers and her face lights up
>"R-REALLY? ARE YOU GOING TO FREEZE ME AGAIN?"
>Memories of cryogenically frozen Fluttershy resurface
>Let out a short laugh
No. But you can help me raise an army of killer fruit
>Crouch down and scratch her behind her ear
Would you like that, Fluttershy? Do you want to help me genetically mutate some oranges and strap lasers to them?
>"Oooh~ yes please!"
>Adorable.
>You both walk into the lab and shut the door
>One week later you emerge with a horde of giant self aware oranges with jet packs and gatling lasers.
>Open the lab blast doors and unleash them upon Ponyville, much to the dismay of it's residents
>Sit outside your house with Fluttershy on your lap, snoozing gently, oblivious to the carnage happening in Ponyville
>Pick up binoculars and watch Twilight Sparkle get overrun by fruit
Heh.
>See a regiement of Royal Canterlot Guard collide with the oranges in a spectacular aerial battle
>Explosions and laser fire fill the sky, with Pegasi and Oranges alike falling from it to the ground below
>Watch the pony you bought the oranges from being carried off and declared queen of the oranges by a group of them.
>That's new.
>Sigh contently
>Slowly stroke Fluttershy again
>She mumbles in her sleep and kicks a rear leg, then nuzzles her head into your lap some more
>Smile and soak in the sun, drinking coffee and petting your...
>Stop smiling and look down
>Stare at the only creature in this world capable of tolerating you
>Stare at the pony that gave you gifts and praise while you burned down the town hall and robbed the royal Canterlot bank
>Smile at the pony that you deem as annoying, frustrating, stupid beyond measure and incredibly naive.
>Grin at your best friend
>Lean forward and plant a small kiss on her forehead
>She sighs in her sleep
>Fucking Fluttershy.

The End.