Originally uploaded to Pastebin: December 4th, 2012
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>Day 80 in Equestria
>Wake up
>You're tied to your bed again
>Fluttershy is stood over you
>"R-ready for this, big boy?"
Nah.
>The ropes catch fire and turn to cinders
>Fluttershy's mane also sets ablaze for good measure
>She screams and throws herself out of your window
>Stand up and stretch, rubbing your wrists where the binds were a second ago
>Look outside and see Fluttershy running away with her hair on fire
>She broke your window
>That scoundrel
>Go downstairs and get some bread out
>Look at it for a second
>It's now toast
>And your kitchen table is a block of charcoal
>You're running out of money for tables
>Step outside your front door eating the black square that was once bread
>Look around lazily and see a couple of weeds on your front lawn
>Blink and look again
>They are now mounds of ash
>As is your entire garden
>Plants stopped growing around here a while ago.
>You're not sure why
>Oh yeah
>You are Anon
>Pyromancer
>Walking into Ponyville, licking the crumbs off your fingers
>A few ponies see you approach and keep their distance, but they manage a smile
>"H-hello, Anon! Nice day, don't you reckon?"
Yeah, it's a beauty. So. Anything you need help with?
>The group of ponies gasps and they all start shaking their heads frantically
>"NO! N-no, we don't... Just carry on, Anon. Have a great day!"
>Shrug
>Ponies never want your help. 
>You're not sure why
>Walk around aimlessly for a while, taking in the sights and sounds of an early morning Ponyville
>See Applejack setting up her stand
>Smile and walk on over
>She sees you coming and her eyes shrink
>"Uhh, howdy, Anon!"
Morning! What are you selling?
>She blinks at you
>You look at her with a completely clueless expression
>"W-waddya THINK I'm sellin'?"
>Look at her stall
>Seems to be a great number apple related products here
Fruit?
>She sighs and places a hoof to her face
>"Apple... Anon. I'm selling Apples."
Ah. I was close though, right?
>"Yeah. I guess. So do ya' want any?"
No, I'm good. I think I might go and see Twilight
>"Didn't she say you're never allowed near the libr-"
You got a little something on your apples
>She looks at her apples
>They have been replaced with fire
>"CONSARNET, ANON"
>Walk away towards the Library, whistling while you smell something like burnt fruit
>Wonder what could have caused it
>Knock on the library door
>Spike opens it
>He gasps
>"TWILIGHT! HE'S BACK!"
>Hear a scream from inside
>"GET THE BOOKS TO SAFETY, I'LL DISTRACT HIM"
>Huh. Wonder why they said that.
>Twilight runs up to you and with a pulse of magic sends you flying backwards
>You slide on your back for a while away from the library
>Grind to a halt, looking at the sky from your new position
>See a flash
>"I told you never to come here again, Anon! You're dangerous around... Well... EVERYTHING!"
Why?
>"Why? WHY? YOU SET EVERYTHING ON FIRE"
I don't mean too, Twilight... It just kinda happens
>She sighs
>"I know, Anon. But I can't risk you nearly burning down the library like you did last week"
>Frown at her
Well what am I supposed to do? I've got nothing to do all day, Twilight. I can't help anyone because they inexplicably set on fire. I'm running out of money for food.
>She gets a sad look
>"I'm sorry to hear that, Anon. But until you learn to control these... Talents... Of yours, I can't risk another incident!"
I understand... 
>"Good to hear. I really am sorry, Anon."
>She smiles at you
>Get up and dust yourself off
Well. I guess I gotta look for some work then
>"Good luck!"
>She turns and walks away
>Chuckle
Heheh... Her tail's on fire...
>Walk towards Sugarcube Corner
>"AAAAAAAARGH, MY TAIL'S ON FIRE!"
>Enter Sugarcube Corner
>Every single pony promptly leaves or goes to the bathroom
>Odd. Must be a virus going around.
>Mr Cake comes out to see what all the commotion was about
>He gasps, then gets a stern look
>"No. Anon. Out!"
>He points a hoof to the door
But-
>"No."
I just want-
>"NO."
Can't I-
>"OUT."
>Sigh and leave, sulking.
>It's a hard life.
>And a lonely one at that.
>Every tried your best to help people and just mess things up even more?
>That's what it's like every day for you
>You just want to see people's lives improve, yet all you do is reduce everything you touch to ash
>Sigh
>You just want someone to talk to without them being so scared of you
>Think about Fluttershy
>Or rape you
>Put on a brave face and carry on walking
>Head out towards the outskirts of Ponyville
>Try to whistle
>A nearby bush starts burning
>Try to hum
>A squirrel starts running around in circles with a smouldering tail
>Growl angrily
>An orange filly flies past on a scooter screaming
>A large fireball follows her down the path
>Sit down next to a tree, hoping it doesn't turn black and dead.
>You hate it when things go black and dead
>Close your eyes and just listen to everything around you for a while
>Peaceful
>Tranquil
>Solitary
>Feel a presence
>Open eyes and look up
>Fluttershy is drooling all over your head from a tree branch
Hello again. Sorry about the hair.
>"O-oh that's ok, Anon. My love for you is far to strong to worry about that!"
>You notice a large bald patch on the side of her head, with a bit of charred skin exposed under the fur
>Wince when you see it
>"So are burn victims your fetish?"
No... They just make me feel sad.
>She giggles
>Not what you wanted to hear right now
>She sets down next to you
>She starts stroking your leg
>"You know... I bet I could get your fire going..."
You'd die a horrible fiery death.
>"No, silly. You're OTHER fire"
>Her hoof slides over your crotch
>She gives you bedroom eyes
Fluttershy, just leave me alone. I'll just hurt you. And I don't even want this.
>Unfazed, she keeps rubbing
>Your member begins to harden
>You know you have to scare her off again by burning her
>But you just hate setting her on fire.
>It hurts you just as much as it hurts her.
>Prepare yourself to set her alight when a large flying object slams into her
>That snapped you out of it
>"Fluttershy? Are you ok?"
>She's down for the count, a dizzy looking grey blob lying on top of her
>"Whoops... Sorry, Fluttershy"
>She doesn't respond, what with being unconscious
>The blob looks at you
>Oh it's a pony.
>And it's eyes are crooked
You should really watch where you're going, you might have hurt her!
>The mare looks down sadly
>"Yeah, I know... I didn't mean to though. Sometimes I just lose track of where I'm going and crash into things"
>She forces a smile onto her face
>"Because that's me! The lovable town clutz! Derp derp derp!"
>He smile fades again and she stares glumly at the grass
>Damn. The poor thing
>Scoot over to her and touch her shoulder
Hey, I know how you feel
>She looks up, gazing at you with slightly watery eyes
>"You do?"
Heh. Yeah... I can't do anything without it all going up in flames.
>Her eyes widen
>"No way!"
Way.
>You both share a short laugh
>She looks up at you, a small smile forming on her lips
>"S-so what's your name?"
I'm Anon. That guy that sets fire to things.
>"I'm Ditzy Doo. Everyone else calls me.. Derpy..."
>At that she looks sad again
>She must try and wear the title with pride in an attempt to show others that she doesn't care. But it must be eating her up on the inside
Don't worry, Ditzy. I make mistakes all the time. I just kinda learn to roll with it
>"But it's just so hard! I try to deliver letters and all I do is-"
-Mess things up, and when you try to correct your mistakes-
>"-I only make things worse..."
>You both look at each other for a while
>"Wow, I never thought I'd find somep0ny like me! I mean, not being bad at everything I mean, umm"
>Put a finger to her lips and smile
I understand
>Smile at her, it's the most genuine feeling of happiness you've felt in a while.
"Sooo... Wanna umm. Go do something?"
>"Are you sure we won't ruin anything?"
>Grin at her
Hey, with both of us working together, we'll bring this town to it's knees
>She giggles happily and stares at you again
>Then kisses you on the lips
>She draws back and blushes, looking away
>At first you're shocked, but you feel yourself smile harder than you have since you got here
>Draw her into a hug
I'm glad I met you, Ditzy
>"I'm glad I met you, Anon."
Let's go
>You both get up and walk down the path into Ponyville
>In your path there are smashed fences, garden gnomes and windows
>All the trees and bushes burn as well as several ponies
>Amidst the chaos two figures dance and laugh around
>Ponyville is consumed by an inferno and no window is left uncracked as the two figures bask in the warm glow of the once peaceful town
>10 minutes later you and Ditzy are sat on a hill overlooking the smouldering wreckage of Ponyville
>Ditzy rests her head on your shoulder and you wrap an arm around her, happy that you've finally found someone who understands you
>You close your eyes and smile, breathing in the smoke
>Ditzy speaks up
>"Oh... I was supposed to deliver mail today. Do you think ponies will mind?"
>You look at the area where Ponyville once was
Nah.

The End