Originally uploaded to Pastebin: December 13th, 2012 --- Update 30/04/2021 -- After a bit of thought, as well as seeing how other writers are doing things these days, I've decided that separate pastes for chapters is superfluous. All parts of the story have now been consolidated into a single paste. !highlight!--- !highlight!Part 1 !highlight!--- >Day 10 in Equestria >Wake up with a headache again >This always happens in the morning >Just another side effect >Groggily get out bed and drag your feet on the way to the bathroom >Rub your eyes with your hand and stare at the mirror >Start slowly brushing teeth and preparing to shave >Wake up as the routine goes on, ending with a hot shower to prepare you for the day >Walk downstairs and pour some cereal >Stare at it for a while >These last few days have been weird >Not so much that you're in a magical world filled with talking horses and are now living in a house too small for you >Nor is it because you get harassed daily by the Avatar of Kindness >No. It's a little bit more complicated than that >Decide to eat the cereal then head out the door >Gotta get to Applejack's early for work >Feels mundane, man. >The work isn't too hard. This world is somehow "softer" than Earth. Kicking trees doesn't shatter your bones like it should do >And ponies have a hard time pushing you around since you're twice their height and according to Rainbow Dash after kicking you: "Are harder than concrete" >Sigh and walk down the road >Stop for a second to look at Sweet Apple Acres >Smile >It never fails to make you smile >"Never fails to make me sick" Oh there you are. Sleeping in again? >"You wouldn't understand, monkey-boy." >Let out a frustrated sigh and carry on towards the farm >Life would have been simple here. >But fate had other plans, or rather, Celestia did >Because now you have the God of Chaos living in your head I just want a nice easy day today, man. Can't you give me that? >"First of all, I'm not a 'Man'. I'm a Draconequus. Second of all, you have no idea how boring it is up here." Yeah well, I'm just as pissed off as you are. It wasn't exactly my choice for this to happen. >It was pretty unfortunate, how it happened >Upon arriving in Equestria, the first thing you saw was Celestia. >She noticed that apart from being physically superior to most creatures in Equestria, bar Dragons and Hydras and the like- >You also acted as an extraordinarily powerful magic block >With this in mind, she told you that rather than risk Discord breaking free of his stone prison again, trapping him within you would render all his powers utterly useless, given your anti-magical nature >He would spend the rest of his days inside your mind and body, unable to break out or use his powers of reality bending >All you would need to do is put up with him until you died >She also had to mention that by essentially becoming "one" with an Elder God, you also inherited immortality. >Yeah, you were pretty pissed about the whole thing >It's not so bad though, he spends most of his time complaining about how stupid ponies are and sleeping >Sometimes he even offers advice on situations, though it's not always- >"You should throw a pie at Granny Smith. She'll love it!" >-Helpful. I ain't doing that, Discord. >"Oh come on, don't be boring! I'm feeling rather creative today, and with my brains and your lack of, we can prank this town till the cows come home!" That's a horrible idea. I'm not here to cause trouble, I just want to live my life. >"Pssh. So boring. When I first got here I thought you would be more fun than ponies. Guess I was wrong" Hey! I'm loads of fun when I want to be, but throwing pies at infirm old ladies isn't the way to have fun. >"I should start calling you Boreanon" Don't. >"Lord of all Boredom" Shut up >"With his wife, Boreyella" Discord- >"And a little pet dog called Borver" SHUT UP! >"Nope." >You argue with God for a little while longer until you reach Sweet Apple Acres, where you're met with Applejack. >"Mornin' Anon!" >"Oh no, not her again..." We work here, Discord. Of course we're going to see her again. >"Who are ya-... Oh. Is HE givin' ya' lip again?" Aye. >Discord does a childish, yet accurate imitation of Applejack in your head >You try not to smirk while she tells you what to do >"So then ah want you to help me out in the western fields, can ya' do that?" Sure thing. >Applejack smiles at you >"Thanks, Anon. It's real great to have ya' around to help" >She blushes a little >"Ah like havin' ya around" Well ok then. >Set off towards the barn to get your gear >"Monkey Man?" Yeah? >"You're the most oblivious being in all of creation" Oh what now? >"You honestly can't see that she's falling for you?" Why would she do that? >Look back over your shoulder >Applejack quickly looks away and pretends to sort out some barrels >"Well you know these country types. They'll jump at anything with a set of legs and a personality" >You sniff >"Or lack of, in your case." I can be personal if I want to be >"You have no idea what I just said, do you?" Nah >You hear him sigh and mutter something about not deserving this punishment >Sort out your stuff in the barn while you listen to him pine after his lovely stone prison >Turn to the door and see Applejack staring at you >"Oh, uhh, hey there, Anon! I was just uhh..." >She trails off and looks at the floor >Remember what Discord said about her Hey, AJ... Do you wanna hang out after work? >She looks up so fast you fear her neck would snap >"Would ah ever!" Great! I guess I'll meet you here then after we're done >Applejack nods frantically and then prances off with a spring to her step >"Told you she was into you." You know, Discord. You aren't so bad for being of chaos. >"The moment I convince you to get me out of this body I will lay waste to everything you ever looked at" Well that's not very nice. >"Gee, you think?" >Go about your day kicking trees and catching apples >Discord tells you tales of his days as a tyrannical ruler over the lowly pony >He's quite the bard See, what I don't get is this, you have all this power. Why not use it for good like Celestia >He laughs >"You think Celestia is GOOD?" You mean she isn't? >"Kid, if Celestia was gone, along with her moody sister, the Sun and Moon would return to their natural cycles. As would the seasons. They control the seasons as well? >"Of course! They control everything. This world was once wild and untamed, much like your world, with it's random thunderstorms and natural disasters" >You forgot that he could sift through your memories at will >He absolutely loves Earth >"Ahh, I wish I could visit your world. All that senseless violence. All that random devestation" >You hear him choking up >"I-it's beautiful" Are you crying? >"N-no." So you just love chaos that much, huh? >"There's order in chaos, my friend." >Friend. That's a new one >"A world of chaos is a world of balance and TRUE harmony. Not this sappy "Friendship" nonsense that Celestia conjured up to control the population" >"When I'm back in charge, I'm going to make Equestria like Earth" Seriously? >"Maybe you don't see it, Anon. Because you grew up in it. But Earth is my ideal world. It's ordered enough to have routines and control the chaos" >"But when that chaos actually happens, BOY does it happen. Like an Earthquake. Everyone across the globe stops and stares and cries "oh no!", then the "order" of the world sets everything right again" >"It means that when it happens, chaos is that much sweeter. And the randomness of it all is a thing of beauty" >You stopped working to listen to his little speech >You stare absentmindedly at a tree So what you're saying is... Earth is the perfect world? >"Yes" Not an ordered, peaceful world like Equestria? >"Too much order is a terrible thing, Anon. Chaos is the spice of life" >You're so wrapped up in though that you fail to notice the tree looking at you >Glance at it after a moment >Stare at the tree >The tree's teal blue eyes stare back >Blink >Tree Blink >Cough >Tree Cough Wh- >"IT'S FLUTTERSHY, YOU IMBECILE!" Oh. Hi Fluttershy. >"H-hello, Anon!" So uhh, You're a tree, huh? >Discord screams in frustration >"Y-yes, are they your fetish" Nope. >"Oh, ok..." >You and the tree stand around awkwardly for a while >Eventually the tree speaks up >"W-what IS your fetish?" Dunno. >More awkward silence >"By the other Gods, it's like you two were made for eachother. One gormless idiot meets another. A match made in heaven" Shut up, Discord >"O-oh! Is Discord in there with you?" >She looks more nervously at you >"Hi... Discord" >"Tell her I hate her" He says hi. >"Well umm... I'll just be going then..." >The tree uproots itself and walks away on it's newfound legs >You scratch your head, trying to figure out what you just saw >Discord moans >"Anon, I never thought I'd say this. But can you PLEASE get back to your boring job?" Oh ok. >Kick trees in silence for the rest of the afternoon >As the imprisoned Sun casts an orange glow across the valley, you drag your last bucket full of apples next to the rest >Look around for AJ >See her peeping at you from behind a barrel >Wave at her >She jumps, as if startled that you found her amazing hiding spot >She walks over nervously and stops at your feet >"Golly... Uhh, I've never really done this before?" Done what? We're just hanging out. >"R-right... Right..." >You both shuffle your feet and fidget >"I don't know how you did it, Monkey. But you actually managed to out-awkward Fluttershy. Well done." S-shut up Discord >Applejack looks at you >"Don't you be givin' Anon any trouble, ya hear, ya big ugly brute?" >"Ouch. That stung. Not" Real mature, Discord. >Applejack glares, then grins at you with renewed confidence >"Come on, Anon! Lets show that motherless monster a good night out!" >"You know, I never told you about my mother..." >You and Applejack walk happily into Ponyville, laughing at each other's jokes and remarks and just enjoying each other's company. >"So then, ah told him I'd never date a stallion with an attitude like that!" >You burst out laughing >This whole time, Discord was reciting tales of his mother >"...Of course, being with the Father Equestria can't have been easy. He was the creator of all you see, and she was just a demon. But they made it work, you know?" >He sniffs >"They made it work..." >Smile at the idea of a demon and a mound of soil getting it on >"MY FATHER WAS NOT A MOUND OF SOIL. TAKE IT BACK!" Nope. >Applejack looks at you >"Sorry?" Oh, Discord was just being silly. >"Ah..." >Her face falls a bit >"Does he hate everyp0ny? Ah mean he's been around us fer a long enough time. I'd a' thought he'd a' changed" >"I want her head on my desk by nightfall" No, he's warming up to you all. >You and AJ walk around town, buying food and laughing >Both of you start getting tired so you decide to walk her back to the farm >She's oddly quiet on the walk back >Glance at her >She's walking along with a massive smile on her face, her eyes half lidded from tiredness. >You reach the front door of her house and she turns to face you >"Ah had a real great time, tonight, Anon. Thanks" >She blushes under the moonlight and looks you in the eyes >You can't help but stare into hers >Such beautiful green eyes >You hold each other's gazes for a few minutes, content in each other's company >Eventually the silence is broken >On your end, anyway >"OH JUST KISS HER FOR GOODNESS SAKE" >Lean forward and lock your lips with hers >Well, Discord was right about one thing. She was certainly into you. >She fully engrosses herself in the kiss, moaning slightly >It's wonderful >"It's gross. Just break off already and we can go home. I want to sleep and forget this ever happened" >You break the kiss slightly so you have room to breathe >You gasp between breaths Shut up, Discord >And go back to kissing Applejack >Day 11 in Equestria >Wake up in a bed that isn't yours >It's far too small, even by your normal bed's standards >A fuzzy warmth can be felt on your chest >Look down >An orange ball of fuzz with a blonde mane is sleeping, cuddled up to your chest >Look under the covers >Naked >Sniff the air >Smells like victory >Applejack stirs >"Heh, mornin, Anon" Morning, AJ >Both stare at each other for a while >She nuzzles you then hops out of bed >She walks stiffly Problem? >"Yeah... Mah rear's a bit sore" >Hell yeah, mother fucker >Or Apple fucker, in your case >On cue, Discord rises from his slumber, awoken by a terrible joke >He yawns in your head >"What did I miss?" Uhhh >"Wait. This isn't our room." Well errr. >"This isn't our house." Thing is... >Applejack walks back into the room, her mane is a complete mess and she's giving you bedroom eyes >"What's up, Anon?" >The seconds tick by slowly while you wait for Discord to put the pieces together >"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!" >There we are >"YOU DID IT, DIDN'T YOU? YOU AND HER- OH THAT'S JUST DISGUSTING! YOU'RE NOT EVEN THE SAME SPECIES!" Your mother and father weren't the same species >Applejack cocks her head >"Huh?" Discord just worked out what happened last night >"Oh. Well i'm gonna make breakfast. Come down when you're ready" >"MY MOTHER AND FATHER WERE AN EXCEPTION TO THE RULE. PONIES FOR PONIES, ANON. THAT'S THE WAY IT'S ALWAYS BEEN" For a being of chaos, you sure are intolerant of non-conventional things >"OH GODS I'M SEARCHING THROUGH YOUR MEMORIES NOW" You don't have to... >"WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?" Hey, we both needed some release >"USE YOUR HAND! YOU HAVE DONE IN THE PAST!" Yeah but it's not the same >"THIS IS THE WORST MORNING EVER." Deal with it. >He doesn't. >Infact he screams all day >Since it's a weekend you're off work, so you decide to head on home after saying goodbye to AJ and the family >You don't like the knowing look Granny Smith gave you> >Reach your front door I'm gonna make something to eat, but I've got no ideas. What should we eat, Discord? >"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH" Good choice! >You walk into your house to make a sandwich but freeze when you reach the kitchen >Fluttershy is there. Sat at the kitchen table and glaring at you. >"Oh, hello, ANON." ...Hey. >"Have a nice time last night?" Yes? >She grinds her teeth together >"So why wasn't I informed? Are you trying to test me, Anon? Why didn't you tell me you were stayng out last night?" What's it to you? You're not my mother. >"I WAS WORRIED SICK!" YOU DON'T EVEN LIVE HERE >"I LIKE TO MAKE SURE YOU FALL ASLEEP SAFE AND SOUND" THAT'S CREEPY AS SHIT >"IT'S CALLED LOVE, ANON" >You both breathe heavily >Fluttershy looks a bit crazy >Her mane is a wreck and her eyes are red and bloodshot Look, I spent the night with Applejack, ok? Stop trying to make it seem like you and I are in a relationship, because we're not. >Fluttershy twitches Now get out of my house >She's completely motionless, her eyes are glazed >She opens her mouth and says slowly >"Apple... Jack?" >Oh god >OH GOD >Discord chuckles >"My my, what was it you said to Fluttershy? Oh, I'm sure I have the memory around here somewhere" >You hear him shuffle through what seems like paper >You imagine him sitting in an office with your memories in a filing cabinet >"Actually, yes, that's exactly what it's like in here. I have to sleep in an Office. But anyway, here's the memory" >"Ahem: 'No Fluttershy, I will never have sex with you, I'm not into Ponies. Not now, not ever' End quote" >You stand in stunned silence for a few seconds, Watching Fluttershy slip further down the mental ladder into insanity >"So uhh, This is usually the part where you run, Anon. She's starting to remind me of my ex" You had a girlf- >"ANON!" >Fluttershy hits rock bottom on the sanity scale and flips your kitchen table >She then charges you >Sidestep, watching her fly into your wall as you run out the front door >"Oh ho ho, now this will be fun!" SHUT THE FUCK UP, DISCORD >Run as fast as you can towards Sweet Apple Acres >Hear Fluttershy behind you, smashing anything in her way aside >Watch as cart flies over your head and crashes through the wall of a building >Look over your shoulder >Fluttershy's eyes are twitching non-stop and she has a look of pure rage on her face >"WHEN I CATCH YOU, I'LL MAKE YOU LOVE ME!" >"It's always the quiet ones" >Hear Discord munching Are you... Eating... Popcorn...? >"Yup." >Fluttershy screams some more and you start to hear wing flaps behind you >Shitshitshit >Nearly at Sweet Apple Acres >See Applejack lingering around doing odd jobs in the distance >Pick up the pace, despite your burning chest >You'd rather die from exhaustion then be left at the mercy of Fluttershy >"Did you know that even if you die, I'll still be bound to your decomposing body? Just an interesting though, oh and watch out for that tree branch" >A tree branch smacks you in the face, causing your nose to bleed >Carry on running, nursing your bloody nose and cursing Discord under your breath >"Hey, 'man', I did warn you" Shutupshutupshutup >Applejack sees you coming in the distance and smiles, waving at you >She then gasps and a worried look crosses her face >Look over your shoulder >Fluttershy is about 2 meters behind you, and gaining >"I WILL FUCK YOU SO HARD YOUR PELVIS WILL BReaK!" >"Oh wow, that's new. Didn't think she had it in her to swear" >Feel Fluttershy make contact with you just as you get to Applejack and you all go tumbling into a pile >You try to scramble away >Applejack is a bit dazed from the collision but otherwise ok >Fluttershy on the other hand is trying to tear your pants off, probably trying to fuck you out in the open >"What do you mean, "Probably"? Of course she is! Man up and do the deed. You already screwed a farmer, how much worse is a vet?" >Don't reply >"Hell, after that you may as well have your way with ALL the Elements of Harmony! Oh! But do Twilight last. I want to watch her squirm." >Now that was just creepy >"Damn right." >Fluttershy finally gets your pants off, despite your struggling and tries to fondle you >Applejack finally gets up, rubbing her head and sees Fluttershy >"HEY! WHAT DO YA' THINK YA' DOIN'?" >She bucks Fluttershy off you >Fluttershy recovers from the kick and stands, glaring at you and Applejack >"He's MINE! I loved him first!" >This take Applejack by surprise >Hear Discord eating more popcorn and sipping from a straw >"Ooh I always did love drama." >"Look, Sugarcube, Ah'm sure you like Anon, and all, but ah do too. An' he likes me, dontcha Anon?" >She looks up at you and smiles >You can't help but smile back Yeah, I do >"Boo! Needs more pie throwing!" >Fluttershy growls >"But I was the one that found him! Finders keepers!" >Applejack snorts >"Really? Ya' gonna claim ownership over him now? Come on, Fluttershy. Be more reasonable" >"NO! I WON'T! HE'S MINE!" >She lunges for you >Without thinking you stretch out your hands infront ouf you to protect yourself >Close your eyes and wait for the impact >It never happens >Applejack gasps >"Anon... How are ya' doin' that?" >Open your eyes and look >Fluttershy is suspended in the air, held up by a golden aura >She flails around helplessly >"Put me down! Please!" Discord! What's happening here? >Discord chuckles darkly >"Well... I never expected this to happen. Seems you may have inherited more than my immortality, my friend." >You eyes widen You mean- >"Oh yes." So I can- >"Yep" >Stare at the suspended Fluttershy for a while >A grin comes across your face as you telepathically fling her away from you >She hits the floor and stares at you in horror >Applejack is in awe >"Anon! Ah never knew ya' had magic!" Yeah, neither did I... >"Hey, Anon." Yeah, Discord? >"Want to go scare the hell out of Twilight Sparkle?" >Smile I think I do. >Snap your fingers and phase out of reality in a flash of light, with Discord cackling maniacally in your head the entire time !highlight!--- !highlight!Part 2 !highlight!--- >Day 12 in Equestria >Wake up with a headache Ugh... >Stand up and stomp over to the closet >Put on your working clothes >Go to the bathroom and brush your teeth >Walk downstairs after you finish your routine >Sit at the table and pour yourself a bowl of Friendship O's >You don't even want to know what goes into them. But they must have sugar in there somewhere. >Watch as all the multicoloured shapes dissolve in the milk, turning it into a rainbow coloured mess of milk and sugar >Shrug and down the whole thing >You heart complains as the sugar enters your system and starts acting anti-social >Harassing old organs, clogging up blood vessels and generally causing trouble >That much sugar isn't good for a man >You reflect back on the previous days >More specifically, two days ago >You found out that you had magic >Actual magic, not hocus-pocus magic. >You can move objects with your mind >You snap your fingers and the bowl instantly becomes clean >It flies over to the cupboard and places itself on top of the other clean bowls >You smile Magic is cool. >The headache subsides, the sugar doing it's job and putting your body into a state of semi-numb shock >Nothing like contracting diabetes to start the morning off >Stand up and crack your neck, lots of work to do today >Hear a knock on the door >Go over to it >Fluttershy, again. Hello. >"H-hello umm. Anon. A-are you busy today? I was thinking maybe we could go out to the lake and explore each other's b-bodies." >A yawn and the sound of stretching fills your head >"Oh great. What a wonderful thing to wake up to. Fluttershy. Morning, Anon." Morning, Discord. >Fluttershy's face saddens >"He's still in there?" Fluttershy. He's in here until the day I die. What part of that don't you get? >"Umm... W-well can you make he not listen in to our conversations? It's r-rude..." >Shrug I can't control him >"Damn straight you can't. I'm a lone Draconequus, I do what I want, when I want. I ride alone" Stop being rebellious, Discord. >"Screw the system." Fucks sake. >"D-discord? If you don't mind? Could you maybe leave me and Anon alone for a second? I-I'm trying to seduce him" >Discord lets out a loud laugh >"Oooh that's rich. You know, Anon. When I was reworking her mind, I found that she has a fetish for apes. Did you know that?" No, Discord, I didn't know that. Quite frankly I don't care. >"Well you should. Because we can use it to our advantage" ...How? >He tells you his plan. You can't help but grin at the idea of it You sure this will work? It won't hurt her? >"Would I lie to you?" Yes. >"Shut up. NOW MAKE A MAN OUT OF THAT MARE!" >This whole time, Fluttershy was staring at you with a confused expression >You point your hand at her, fingers outstretched >A golden aura surrounds it >"AAaand Alakazam" >Fluttershy turns into a monkey >Discord roars with laughter and you can't help but do the same >Fluttershy, now a monkey with yellow fur and a patch of pink fluff on her head, scratches her noggin and lets out a few grunts >She stares at her hands for a second, screams, then jumps into a nearby tree and starts masturbating vigorously >"Eww. Well, it was funny until she started doing that. Change her back now, Anon. I'm bored." >Another wave of your hand causes Fluttershy to polymorph back into a pony. Though now she's an Earth Pony Oh, whoops. Forgot the wings. >"Eh. She can live without them for a while. She did in the maze." >You accept this proposal and head off towards Applejack's farm >Your heart leaps at the though >"Hey, Casanova. Quit with the farmer thoughts. I'm trying to read up here." Read what, exactly? >"I'm just searching through your memories. World War 1 sounds fascinating" Millions of people died, Discord. >"Absolutely fascinating" >You listen to him swoon over the various methods mankind used to slaughter each other en masse until you reach the farm >Applejack trots over to meet you >"Howdy, Anon!" >She places her hooves on your chest and leans up to kiss you >You plant one on her lips >She drawns back, flutters her eyelids and adds in a soothing voice >"Howdy, Discord." >"Anon. Annihilate her. Build one of these "Tanks" out of wood and magic then flatten her." That's not going to happen, Discord. >"Loser." Freak. >"Now that's enough, you two." >Applejack is looking at you sternly >She points a hoof at your chest >"Ah want you to work on painting the barn, that ok, Anon?" >She points at your brain >"And ah want you to stop givin' him grief, ya hear?" >"Me me mee me meee!" Grow up, Discord >"Grow a spine, Anon." >"Both a' ya'll. Quit it." Sorry >"Murder her" >You ignore him and set off towards the barn, whistling as you go >Applejack trots alongside you >"What's that tune, Anon? It's awful pretty" >You smile at her Why it's something my father used to whistle to me when I was a boy. Helped me sleep at night. >Applejack smiles >"Yeah. My Pa used to do somethin' similar." >Discord pipes up >"Used to. Before he and his wife contracted Nightmare's Laugh and died." >You make a mental note to find a way to shut Discord up >Discord crumples the note into a ball and throws it in his waste-paper basket >You forget he lives in an office. >"I have read your mental note. You'll have to get back to me in 60 years time and we'll see if I can't forward it through to the board members" >Roll your eyes >Applejack takes notice of your silence >"Somethin' wrong, sugarcube?" Just Discord. I'm used to it by now. Sort of. >She frowns >"Must be terribly hard, livin' with somep0ny like him in yer head." It kind of is. But I found a way to tune him out. >Discord chuckles >"Just like I found a way to tune myself back in" >He starts singing opera at the top of his lungs >Applejack smiles >"Good ta' know that you're copin' just fine. But don't you worry" >You've reached the barn, Applejack sets off towards the western fields to work >She looks over her shoulder >"I'll help ya' take ya' mind offa him" >With shake of her rear she walks off >You watch her go with an open mouth >"Stop drooling, monkey-boy" Shut up, Discord. >You start to work, kicking the sturdy trees and catching them with magic >"You do realise that you have a small amount of my power now, right? And that you can do more with it than catch apples" Yep. >"You also realise that the spell you did today? Polymorphing? Yeah, only magical prodigies like 'Twilight Sparkle'-" >He says her name in a mocking manner >"-Can do things like that" Aye. >"Sooo, why not do this. Clear the ENTIRE field in about 4 seconds, dump them all in Ponyville lake and be done with it?" Because Applejack wants me to do an honest day's work. She says it build character. >Discord lets out a groan >"Build character. Really. The most boring character on the show is telling you to build character" What show? >"Nothing. Listen. You have to do something more with your new powers than being slave labour for the village redneck" She pays me, moron. >"Moron. MORON?! I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW THAT I AM A GOD, ANON. I AM AN ELDER GOD-" >He goes off on an insane rant about how insignificant you are and how if he was free, he would make you watch as he burns holes in the tips of all your socks You're a monster. >"-And then, whenever you pulled one on, your big toe would always be cold." >You both say nothing to each other for about 10 or so minutes >You're the one to break the silence Discord? >"What." >Hesitate Sorry. >He sighs >"Just... Promise me you'll make my birthday cake extra chaotic" There's a point, when IS your birthday? >"Whenever a volcano erupts." Seriously? >"Yep." >Once you finish up for the day you head on over to Applejack's farmhouse for some pie, and also some food >You snicker at you inappropriate joke >Discord realises what you meant >"No. NO. NOT AGAIN." Oh we're doing this. >"PLEASE DON'T." All night. >"I'M BEGGING YOU. I'LL BE GOOD! I'LL DO THE DISHES!" Several times, If I can. >"ANON, NO." >You push open the door, Applebloom meets you >"Hiya, Anon! Ya here for some dinner?" I'd love some, thanks, Applebloom >Discord is silent >He then sighs happily >"Oh... That sweet little filly" I'm sorry? >"That sweet, wonderful little pony..." Discord are you ok? >"Hm? Oh, sorry. It's just that little Applebloom is one of the ponies responsible for my release earlier last year" >You're shocked to hear this. >No one ever told you Seriously? >He laughs dreamily >"Yes. Her and her little friends Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo demonstrated pure chaos infront of my statue. Their dispute and innocent spitefulness of each other, no matter how short-lived, was chaos in it's pure form" Sounds like an overly simple way to break free an Elder God >"I don't make the rules, Anon. I just roll with them" Nah. You just break them and make new ones. >"Very funny" >You sit around the dinner table with the Apples, eating pie and laughing along with them >The whole time, Discord laments about his time as an escaped convict thanks to the selflessness of Applebloom >"I-I mean look at her. She's so pure. So wonderful. So full of chaotic potential" >He sighs >"Oh how I yearn to be free. To break her mind and force her to do my will..." >Mutter under your breath while the apples let loose a loud laugh thanks to one of Big Mac's jokes >He wanted to be a comedian, funnily enough Discord. That's really goddamn creepy. She's a kid. >"So? If she's old enough to talk, she's old enough to help me bring the world to it's knees" >Dinner goes on, the food tastes wonderful, the company is great, and Applejack keeps stealing glances at you whenever she can >Discord sneers at this >"Look at her. Trying to seduce you. But you know better, Anon! You know better than to tap that ass!" >Big Mac takes the dishes away, and Applebloom bounces into the kitchen after him, singing off key >Granny Smith has long since fallen asleep, leaving you and Applejack at the table together >She gives you the bedroom eyes Discord, I've already tapped that ass. >She raises an eyebrow >"Ah hope you ain't talkin' about what I think you're talkin' about at the dinner table, Anon." >She speaks in a lower voice >"That kinda talk is for-" >She raises her eyes to the ceiling then back down at you >"-Up there" >Discord is panicking >"No no no no NO! Not again!" >Stand up >"ANON PLEASE!" >Applejack smiles >"Anon, if ya please." >"DON'T DO IT!" >"Lets go an' uhh. 'do it'" >30 minutes later >You fall back onto the bed, Applejack beside you >You imagine that Discord is in the fetal position in the corner of his mind-office >"I AM, YOU INSENSITIVE SON OF A-" >"So Anon... Where ya headed now?" Probably back home, AJ. Thanks for dinner and uhh >Kiss her on the forehead Dessert. >Discord makes a noise like throwing up into a bucket >"OH GODS IT GOT ALL OVER YOUR CHILDHOOD MEMORIES" >"Thanks Anon. Ah appreciate it." >She nuzzles you then hops off the bed >You say your goodbyes and head out the door >Straight into Fluttershy Oh. >"Oh." >"O-oh, Hello, Anon! Fancy meeting you here!" >Look around the farm, which is a good distance away from town Yeah. Fancy that. >"MY RAGE MUST BE QUENCHED, MORTAL. SHATTER HER BODY" I'll do it with my dick if you don't shut up >"You wouldn't dare" Try me >Fluttershy squeals in frustration >It's an adorable noise, like prodding a puppy in the face >"S-stop talking! Listen to me!" >You both turn your attention to her >And by "both" you mean you. >Discord started making popping noises a few seconds back >Fluttershy begins talking as you walk away from Applejack's house >"N-now I think you should have sex with me." That's very blunt of you. >"pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop" >"Y-yes. Umm. I'm trying to be more assertive... Sorry. B-but still. I'm here to tell you why you should have sex with me." >She pulls a scroll out of hammerspace and clears her throat >"Item 1: You have a hot dick" >"Item 2: You're hot" >"Item 3: I have a vagina" >15 minutes later >"Item 490: You look cute when you're naked" >"Item 491: I think-" >Snatch the scroll out of her hooves and set fire to it >Discord breathes a sigh of relief >"Atta boy, Anon. Now do the same to her" >Fluttershy whimpers as her scroll turns to ashes before her eyes Fluttershy. I will NEVER have sex with you, okay? EVER. >Fluttershy whines Discord? Write that one down so I can remember to say it again >"On it, boss." >He starts scribbling on imaginary paper >"I put it in the 'Urgent Messages' box" Good man. >"Yes, boss. Thankyou, boss. Kill her, boss." Later. >Fluttershy is pawing at the floor while you 'chat' with Discord Fluttershy? >"Y-yes?" Get out of here. And I don't want you to knock on my door tomorrow. Got it? >She runs away crying Wait, did she have her wings back? >"Uhh. No. I think you forgot to give them back to her" Well you're in charge of remembering things, Discord! >"Sorry. I guess I forgot" >He chuckles >You carry on home and sit on the sofa So, Discord, what do you want to do tonight? >"The same thing we do every night, Anon. TRY TO OVERTHROW THE THRONE!" >He plays a laugh track in your head >"Did you like that? I found it when I was wiping vomit off your childhood memories" Don't ever do it again. >"Boring." >You sit there doing nothing for a second >The clock ticks on by >"...Really? We're just going to sit here and do nothing?" I'm thinking >"Don't hurt yourself" Harr harr. I just wish there was more to do around here. All I do is work all day, then I'm too tired by the time I get home >"Well if you weren't shacked up with the village bicycle I'm sure you would have plenty of energy" The village what now? >"You can do whatever you want, Anon. I'm going to sleep. It's too boring sitting around doing nothing" Better than being stuck in a statue, isn't it? >He mumbles something under his breath and you sit in quiet thought for a while >After a while you get an idea >It's still early enough to do stuff, about 7 o Clock at night >You walk outside and into the crisp evening air >You like walking. >For the first day of your new-found powers, you tried teleporting everywhere. But it's actually more trouble than walking everywhere. >Gives you horrible headaches after a while >Still... Suppose there's nothing wrong with a single jump. You haven't done one all day. >You decide on a place then snap your fingers >You materialise inside Twilight's Library >She squeals and falls off her stool, taking a pile of books with her >"A-anon! Are you here to prank me again?" >She forces a very nervous laugh >When you first teleported into her Library, she couldn't comprehend it >Then you spawned a pie out of nowhere and threw it at her >You and Discord laughed like baffoons until she chased you out, shooting laser beams at you >And still you laughed >Right now though, you just wanted to talk No, I'm just here to uhh. Read. >She looks at you flatly >"Read. Really?" >Her eyes widen >"No! You'll ruin my books! That Discord is probably telling you to do stuff!" Actually no. He's asleep. >She stares at you >"He can... sleep?" Sure. It's nice when he's like this. He's quiet. So I just thought I would spend the time reading. >She smiles >"Oh. okay! Sure! Let me just get a few" >A few minutes later you and Twilight are sat quietly, reading. >You open turn the page in "Pony Biology 101" >Raise an eyebrow Hey, Twilight, what's this? >Show her the page >She blushes >"Oh uhh. That's Estrus." Go on? >"W-well... Every so often, mares such as myself will go through a period where we umm. Try and procreate." Oh. That sounds uhh... >"Like a massive pain in the ass? Yeah it is." >She blushes again >"Sometimes literally..." What? >"Nothing. Point is, every year, there's about a week or so where Mares become very sexually active." >Stare at her So that's when all the babies get made, right? >"Uhh, In a way. For the stallions that stay in town, that is. Most of them leave to go somewhere they won't be found." Why? >"Can you imagine every mare getting pregnant every year? Foals everywhere, Anon!" >Twilight is getting more into this, she's leaning forward and beaming at you Uhh. Yeah I can imagine that would be quite bad. >"But that's why the Stallions leave. Pregnancy is a big thing around here. It's why the pony population is so controlled. The last Equestria Pony census stated that there are over 900,000 ponies! Isn't that amazing?!" It's not that big of a number. >She cocks her head >"Why? How many humans are on your world?" 7 billion. >You can hear a pin drop, as well as Twilight's jaw hitting the desk >"Sev.. Seven. Billion." Yup. >"B-but... Where do you all go?!" It's a big world back home, Twilight. Some say the planet can support about 12 billion. But I think that's bollocks. We could easily support 15. >These numbers hit Twilight like a bat to the face >"Anon that's insane." Yeah. It is. But hey, we're humans. It's our job to breed at a ridiculous rate. >Her ears perk up >"What did you just say?" I said humans breed at a ludicrously high rate. hundreds of thousands are born every year. >"Thousands..." Yeah. >Twilight is silent for a while >Then she looks up >"Anon? How are interspecies relationships seen on your planet?" They are seen as repulsive, and are outlawed in most circles >"...Oh" >She gets a sly look >"But you're not on your planet anymore" >You remember that she doesn't know about Applejack. And how hard you've been tapping that ass in the last 3 days >No one does >Better now than never Uhh. I'm sort of with Applejack. >She smiles. >"When Estrus rolls around, that won't matter." >She gets back to reading, leaving you in stunned silence >You try and forget what she just said and get back to reading >Such a strange language, this one >"Anon? You're holding the book upside down" >You're holding the book upside down. >You blush, causing Twilight to giggle >As the night goes on you decide to head back home Uhh. Thanks for this, Twilight. It was... Nice. >She smiles at you >"No problem, Anon. I'll see you out." >You head to the door >Step outside into the night >Turn back to Twilight Uhh, Twi? When does Estrus start? >She fixes you with a incredibly creepy stare >"Soon." >Door slam >That night you lie awake, thinking about what she said >Estrus sounds unnerving. >You don't really want a hyper-horny Fluttershy on your plate, or the entire town for that matter. >You eventually fall asleep >Discord will know what to do >Day 13 in Equestria >Wake up to the sound of a window breaking >Sit bolt upright >"Hey, huh, what? What's the big idea? I'm trying to sleep, you damnable Ape" Discord. I think someone's breaking into our house >He chuckles >"Lets go and stop them then" >You run downstairs, god-powers at the ready >Fluttershy is in your kitchen, her mane is a mess and she's cover in scratches >She jumped through your window Why. >"Because, Anon. Mommas feeling very special today. I think it's time we had a bit of private time" >Discord laughs >"Get rid of her, Anon. I feel like having toast this morning. With Jam." >With a quick flick of the wrist you send Fluttershy flying back out your broken window >You hear several cries of pain >Wait >Several? >Look outside the window >A sea of mares are staring at you >One of them tries to climb in through the window >You send it flying back with a blast of energy UHH, DISCORD? LITTLE HELP?! >"GET TO THE ROOF, YOU FOOL!" >You envision the roof and teleport up there >You rub your head from post-port nausea and freeze >A literal sea of mares surrounds your house >Pegasi crowd the skies >Earth ponies and Unicorns form a wall of Pone around your home DISCORD! WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?! >"JUST A SCEOND LET ME CHECK MY CALENDER" >You stare at the ponies, who grin back at you with hearts in their eyes >"Oh gods no. Anon." >In your mind, he slowly takes off a pair of sunglasses >"It's Estrus Season." !highlight!--- !highlight!Part 3 !highlight!--- >Day Estrus in Equestria >Be Anon >Stood on your roof >House is surrounded by a horde of lusty mares >The air smells horrible >Like mouldy hay Alright, Discord. Any ideas? >"Survive, obviously" Obviously >"Obviously" How. >"I don't know! Start throwing spells everywhere, assert your dominance or whatever it is humans do" >You take the hint and start throwing random spells into the crowd >The ponies ignore the various colourful balls of energy hitting them and sending them flying, and start to form a ladder of ponies to get onto the roof Oh my god >"Oh me" Very funny >"Thankyou" >You start throwing spell after spell at the rising Pone Pillar, ignoring the faces of your friends as they reach towards you in an almost zombie-like trance Discord! It's not working! I can't hold them back much longer! >Discord yawns and lazily starts giving advice >"Watch out for the pegasi, darling." JESUS! >You narrowly avoid an incoming pegasi, turning him into a sheep as he passes you >"AAaaaht laaaasht! My fetish! Baaaaa!" What. >More and more ponies pile on top each other, until eventually one of them grabs onto the thatched roof of your house >It groans and looks at you, the hearts in it's eyes swelling and turning a deeper shade of red >"Now that's interesting. I didn't know that would happen to them" NOW ISN'T THE TIME, DISCORD >You turn the mare into a rubber duck >"Hey, I'm just saying, in light of these unfortunate circumstances-" >You scream as a Pegasi slams into you, but before she can do anything you remove it's limbs and watch it roll off your house and into the swarm below >"-It's interesting to see what happens to ponies when they get overtaken by lust" DISCORD FOR FUCKS SAKE SAY SOMETHING USEFUL! >"The square root of 100 is 10." AAAAAAAAAAAAAA >You emit a shockwave outwards, sending several ponies crawling onto the roof back down to the ground >"Here's a tip: They can't rape what they can't see" FINALLY! >You concentrate for a while, straining yourself >"Easy, Anon. This one is challenging, but you can do it." >After a while you see your hands and feet dissapear from sight >The mare running towards you along the roof stops, a confused expression on her face >She looks straight through you, murmurs start to arise >"Huh?" >"Where'd he go?" >"Anon! I love you! Come back!" >"Anon? I thought we were chasing Big Mac" >You silently breathe a sigh of relief >"Well done, Anon. Now turn them all to ash" Oh shut up Discord- Whoops. >"I HeARD HIM! HE'S STILL THERE!" >The Mare infront of you sniffs the air frantically >"I CAN SMELL HIM! FOLLOW YOUR NOSES, GIRLS!" FUCK. >"YES, WE WILL!" DISCORD. WHAT DO? >"TELEPORT, YOU IDIOT! TELEPORT!" >You quickly think of a location and blink out of existence, away from your roof and the swarm of lust-driven ponies >You arrive in a dark room Whew. That was a close one. Good call, Discord >"I honestly have no idea why you didn't think of it sooner" Neither do I >"Where are we, anyway? Where did you send us?" >You don't reply >"Anon?" Uh oh. >"Anon. What did you do?" >You hear him rapidly shuffling through papers >"It's gotta be around here somewhere... Ah! Here we are, last nights memories. The ones you experienced while I wasn't here." >He chuckles >"Didn't really have time to read them given todays events, Mares, eh, Anon?" >He laughs again >"Right? Anon?... Anon?" I'm a fucking moron. >Discord reads for a while >"You truly are the stupidest of all living creatures." I'm sorry! The memory was still fresh and it's all I could think of when I was teleporting! >"BUT YOU COULD HAVE THOUGHT OF SOMEWHERE ELSE! EVEN APPLEJACK'S BEDROOM WOULD HAVE BEEN A BETTER CHOICE THAN-" >"Hello? Is Anyp0ny there?" >Twilight Sparkle opens the closet you had teleported into and you fall out into the Library >You look at her in panic >She stares at you confused for a while >Slowly >Surely >Her shocked expression turns into a malevolent smirk >Her eyes roll into the back of her head and come back up from the bottom >Replaced with big red hearts >Discord starts praying >"Gods? It's me, Discord, I know we don't talk much anymore, but I was just wondering it- ANON TURN HER INTO JELLY!" >You turn that bitch into Jelly >Jellylight Sparkle blinks, her eyes making a funny squishing noise >She looks at her hooves in shock >"Anon. Why am I jelly?" Uhh. Because I'm so cool? >Discord gives you a complimentary rimshot >"Nice one" Thanks. >Jellylight stares at you, then smiles >"Well then. I guess we don't need to worry about lubricant!" AWW HELL NAW >She fires a beam of jelly out of her horn and sends you flying across the room >You find yourself stuck fast against the wall by the sticky purple mess >Jellylight walks closer to you, her hooves making weird squelching noises and her entire body jiggling with each hooffall >Discord sighs in defeat >"Well. Here we are, Anon. You're about to get raped and I'm going to have to watch as my new most hated pony gets off." I thought you hated Celestia more? >"At least Celestia put out" What? >"Nothing." >Jellylight stops infront of you, using her Jellymagic to part the jelly near your jelly covered crotch >Discord groans >"Why did it have to be JELLY?" I dunno. >Jellylight starts to undo your pants, with you still stuck fast to the wall >"Ok ok, Anon. We're not out of this yet. Brainstorm time." I'm listening? >"What if, you turned the Jelly, into FIRE." I'm not setting fire to TWilight, Discord >"Fine... How about, you turn Twilight into a sock." A sock. >"A sock." I don't think I can. >"Are your hands covered?" >You turn your head to look at them Oh hey! They aren't! >"THEN GET US THE HELL OUT OF HERE" >Before Twilight can start sucking you off, you snap freeze the jelly and shatter it, sending razor sharp pieces of frozen jelly everywhere >Twilight also shatters, her face a look of confusion >You pull your pants up and pick up all the pieces of Twilight that you can >You place her into a bucket and melt her, filling the bucket with purple goo >You write "TWILIGHT" on the bucket and leave it there in the Library as you head out the door with Discord crying with laughter >"Y-YOU BLEW HER UP! AHAHAHA!" Yeah, I did. I hope she'll be ok. >This only makes Discord laugh harder >"Oh Anon. I didn't think you had it in you to blow up Celestia's prized student" Oh man, she's gonna be pissed, isn't she? >"More than you can imagine" Great. Do I have to leave Ponyville now? >"She can't make you leave, Anon. I won't allow her too" Wow, really? >"Sure. I like it here. So many horrible little ponies to play with" I don't know whether or not I should be scared of that >"You should be scared. Very scared" Eek. >Discord laughs again So what now? >"We find a place to stay until Estrus season blows over, or we go back to your house and snap-freeze every single pony there." I vote for option one >"Boring." >Since every mare seemed to be around your house at the far end of town, it was safe to assume that Ponyville was abandoned for a while >Twilight was at home though. That struck you as odd >You pass it off as her being a massive shut-in and head towards Sugarcube Corner >"Why Sugarcube Corner? Won't Pinkie Pie be there?" I think I saw her in the crowd at my house, we should be ok to get some food and hide out there >You arrive at the shop and look around to see if anyone followed you before entering >The shop is dark, and quiet >"Hmm... Be wary, Anon. They could be upon us at any moment" It'll be fine, Discord. We're only here for a bit. I just need something to eat... >You creep through the shop and behind the counter towards the kitchen >A floorboard creaks >Discord gasps and you freeze Are we clear? I can't see too well. >"Looks fine from up here. They should keep food in that fridge over the far side of the room" >You nod and tip-toe closer to it >You pass a counter where the food is prepared and glance down momentarily >You suppress a scream and bring your foot back >Discord hisses through his teeth >"This just got bad" >You nod in agreement as you stare at the Pink mare snoozing on the floor infront of the fridge >You whisper as silently as you can Discord? What now? >"Ok ok, be very careful. Step over her and open the fridge" What if she wakes up? >"Kill her" I'm not killing Pinkie Pie, you maniac! >"Boring." >You try not to growl >"Well what do you recommend?" I don't know... Turning her into stone? >Discord is silent >Then he speaks up in a surprised voice >"Anon that's brilliant" Really? >"Yes! Do it now!" >You point a hand at Pinkie Pie Sorry, Pinkie... >Your hand flashes gold as Pinkie Pie's skin slowly turns grey and turns more solid >You tenderly reach out and poke her >Hard as a rock >You let out a sigh of relief Another close one >"Agreed" >You step over Pinkie Pie and open the fridge >It's crammed full of treats and delights >"OOoh, chocolate milk. My favourite." >You grab a jug of it out and pour yourself a glass before chugging it down Ahhh... That's better >"I missed this stuff." >You reach back into the fridge and grab a couple of cupcakes, holding them with your arm you shut the fridge and munch on one, peeking out of the kitchen window curtain, which, like all the curtains in Sugarcube Corner, were shut >"Ok, Anon. It's time to move. Lets get out of here" >You turn around step over the still frozen Pinkie Pie and head for the door >Looking back over your shoulder you frown back at Pinkie Pie >Or you would >If she was still there >Your blood runs ice cold Oh shit. >"Anon. RUN. RUN NOW!" >You roll over the main counter and run towards the door >Using your magic you tear the door of it's hinges and fling it over your shoulder >Your hear it collide with something solid, and then a cold laugh follows you >It sounds like Pinkie Pie's laugh, only it's distorted and chills you to the core instead of making you feel happy >You sprint away from the shop, then turn back to look at the dark entrance >Pinkie Pie stands there on all fours, grinning at you >It's not the happy grin you've come to expect from her >It's absolutely horrifying, almost like she's saying "I'm going to kill you and rape the corpse" >You turn back around and run like hell DISCORD! WHAT THE HELL? >"I THOUGHT IT WOULD WORK JUST AS MUCH AS YOU DID. IS SHE FOLLOWING US?" >You look over your shoulder as you run >Pinkie Pie has moved from the entrance to the middle of the street, still facing you in the exact same position with that nightmarish smile >"Heh. NightMARE" SHUT THE FUCK UP, DISCORD >You run towards the one place you can think of that's safe >"It won't be safe, Anon." I have to try! >"Big Mac won't be there to protect you if things go south." I think I can look after myself, Discord. >"Really? Then deal with Pinkie Pie." >You grind to a halt and turn around >Pinkie Pie is on the path behind you, facing you. Unmoving. That cursed smile still adorning her face >You blink >She gets a bit closer Holy fuck >"Now that's just unfair. Anon? Blast her" >You raise your hand and let loose a bolt of concentrated water >It collides with Stonie Pie's face >Nothing, not even a crack >You blink again >She gets closer Oh god why do I feel like I've seen this before! >"Because you have! Memories, Anon! Use them!" Ok ok. How do you deal with something that moves when you blink? >"..." ... >"Blow her up?" Hell that's good enough for me >You snap freeze Pinkie Pie and shatter her into a thousand pieces >Discord laughs again >"Oh that never gets old!" It will >"You're right. It will. Next time, make all the pieces turn into paint!" No. >You magic a bucket into existence and start placing Pinkie's pieces in it >You pick up a faction of her smiling face and shudder >Once it's all in the bucket you write "PINKIE PIE" on the side, and set it next to a tree on the side of the road >Then you dust yourself off and carry on towards Applejack's farm >There's silence between you and Discord >"Anon?" Yeah, Discord? >"Do you think Applebloom will be affected by this?" I dunno. She's 8, isn't she? >"I hope she doesn't try anything" >You smile Do you like Applebloom, Discord? >You like teasing him >"Knock it off, Anon. I want to make sure that my future right hand minion of chaos is mentally and physically fit for duty when I bring Canterlot to it's knees" Can't you do that anyway? You ARE a god. >"Yes, Anon. I can do that. But you can't. Yet." ...What do you mean by that? >"Nothing. Be quiet" >You think nothing of it and move on >Sweet Apple Acres comes into view >You're about to step over the border when something yellow and fluffy slams into your side >"Oh no, not again." >Fluttershy stands over you, grinning maniacally and licking her lips >"I-I have you now, Anon!" >She giggles like a schoolgirl and tries to get your pants off >You lie there and nurse your head while she fumbles with the buttons >Discord speaks up >"Anon?" Yeah? >"Think you should do something about this?" I'm just thinking. We've got Jelly and Stone. How can we top that? >"Hmm. That's a damn good question" >You and Discord get to work trying to think of a suitable solution to Fluttershy >Meanwhile, the mare has managed to get your pants half way down your legs and is trying to pull down your boxers as well Turn her to ice? >"Ehh. We need something more funny. Didn't we turn her into a monkey once?" Oh yeah! Yesterday. But that was only funny once >"True... True..." >Fluttershy gets your boxers off and starts licking your flaccid dick, moaning while she does it >The sudden warm air and tongue makes it stand to attention and Fluttershy squeals happily, then begins taking your entire length >"Ok. Ok. Hows about this. We turn her into 6 different Fluttershys, 2 pegasi, 2 unicorns, 2 earth ponies, we give them each special talents, we FILM it, and release it to the public under the name "My Little Rapist" Hmm... Wait. No. I have it >"Go on?" How about: We make her attracted her HERSELF >"Genius" >Before Fluttershy finish sucking you off you raise your hand at her and clear your throat Hey Fluttershy >She looks up, precum on her lips >"Yes?" Suck on this. >You flash her with magic and she stumbles backwards >Discord groans >"That was terrible" I know... >Fluttershy shakes her head >You take this time to pull your pants back up and dust yourself work >After a while Fluttershy stares at you >Then at her hooves >Upon seeing her own hooves she blushes >"O-oh my. H-hello!" >"H-Hello..." >"Umm... D-do you have a special somep0ny?" >"N-no... Do you?" >"No. Oh my goodness! Do you... umm. Want to me mine?" >"Okay!" >You watch in amazement as Fluttershy does the impossible >She pounces on HERSELF and continue to literally go fuck herself. >Discord starts clapping >"Bravo, Anon! Bravo! You've managed to hurt even my chaotic mind! I don't fully understand how this is happening, but it is! Well done!" >You beam proudly as Fluttershy fucks herself into orgasm then starts again, still managing to hurt your eyes and brain the longer you stare at it How is she even... >"Just don't, Anon. I'll need a moment to study these memories to make sense of it all." >You shrug and leave the Fluttershy x Fluttershy OTP to fuck themselves into submission on the side of the road as you head towards Applejack's house >The orchard is silent >An ominous breezes rolls through, rustling the leaves and causing you to shudder >Discord speaks up >"Ok, I think I've finally figured it out. In order for Fluttershy to literally go and ahh, "do" herself, she created somekind of quantum field where physics don't apply." So, like magic? >"No, even magic has to abide by physics. Fluttershy actually broke the laws of the universe in order to fornicate herself. It's quite remarkable really." Wait, magic abide by physics? Are you having me on? >"Not at all. If you levitate a rock, it abides by physics because it's being held up by a magical field. Magic is just energy, Anon. Highly changable energy that taps into the thoughts and emotions of the user. It can do anything based off the brainwaves of the person or pony using the magic. Places a lot of strain on the mind if you use too much, hence why you get headaches when you overexert yourself" ...Huh. You'd have to go into more detail there. >"Later. We're here" >You stop walking >The farmhouse stands infront of you. It's windows covered with curtains, like Sugarcube Corner >"You still sure you want to do this?" We'll be fine, Discord. It's just Applejack. Hell we'll probably end up screwing each other. >"RIGHT. WE'RE GOING BACK HOME. I'LL TAKE MY CHANCES WITH THE SWARM" >Laugh Relax, Discord. We're just going to hide out here. I trust Applehjack. And this place is far away from Ponyville. They won't think to look here >"Yes they will." Quiet, you. >You knock on the door >Granny Smith's voice comes from within >"Wuzzat? Who is it?" Uhh, It's Anon, Ms Smith! >"Anon?! What're ya' doin' in Ponyville? It's not safe!" Yeah, I know. Can I come in? >"One secon'. Lemmie just unlock the door!" >You hear 25 different locks get undone >The door opens and Granny Smith peers out at you >"Well colour me shocked! It IS you!" >Discord decides to pitch in >"You really should colour her. Colour her... Oh lets saaay... Black." >Ignore him and step into the house >Granny Smith smiles at you, her coat still green. >"What can I get for ya', sonny?" Nothing, thankyou. Is Applejack around? >Granny Smith's face darkens >"Now you listen here, boy. That girl is nothin' but trouble this time a' the year! You stay away from her. For both ye' sakes." >She grumbles and shuffles into the kitchen What was that all about? >"Well she probably thinks that if you and Applejack get together today, you'll either bring down the house with your lovemaking, or conceive a child, or both. I don't think she wants Applejack getting pregnant. This is ESTRUS after all, Anon." Well yeah, but we can't have babies! We're not even the same species! >"Neither were my parents." >Ah. >"Do you really want to take the risk? I sure don't. Mainly because I don't want to see what kind of horrific spawn of Tirec comes out of Applejack when she gives birth, and also because I would rather die than see you two go at it again." >Sit down on the sofa So what do we do? >"Stick to the plan. Stay down here and lay low." >You hear some frantic steps come down the stairs >A little yellow face peeks out from the banisters >Her face lights up >Discord squeals >You smile >"Ahnon!" >Applebloom runs up to you and throws herself into your arms >You cuddle her while Discord has a heart-attack >"OOoooh she's so delightfully evil! Look at the way she masks her hatred for all that is good!" >You tickle her belly and she giggles, then gets the hiccups >Her face is shocked as she hiccups again >"D'aww. She's trying to breathe fire!" You have a messed up perception of how kids work. >"Shut up. She's evil." >"Ahnon? Who are ya talkin' to?" The demon locked in my head. >She stares at you >Then starts giggling again >"Oh Ahnon! You're so silly!" >She hops off your lap and waddles into the kitchen to help Granny Smith with something >Discord cries out >"Wait! Don't go! We can teach you how to raise the dead!... Aww. She's gone..." If you ever do get out of my head, I'm never letting you within a mile of that kid >"You won't be able to stop me." >You sit on that sofa for hours >Applebloom draws you pictures, and Discord tries to interpret them as something else >She draws you a picture of a stick man and a stick pony with a hat on, with a large pink heart over you both >You smile at it It's wonderful, Applebloom. >Discord coos >"Look! There's you and Applejack! And the giant flaming fireball coming from the sky about to incinerate you!" That's a heart, Discord. >"When I'm in charge again, all fireballs will look like that" Why? >"Give ponies a false sense of security before it hits them" >He puts on a remarkably good impression of Twilight >"Oh my! Look at that giant heart speeding towards me! I hope it loves me as much as I love my books! I'm such a dork! Books books books- BOOOOM." >You try your hardest not to laugh >Applebloom grins up at you >Granny Smith is asleep and Applebloom finds you talking to Discord hilarious >"Oh oh! Now what's he sayin'?" I don't know! Discord? What are you saying? >"I will take her under my wing and raise her to become the herald of the apocalypse. All shall tremble before her." He says he likes your drawings >Applebloom blushes >Discord tuts >"Why do you lie to children, Anon. What kind of sick monster are you?" Shut up, Discord. >Applebloom giggles >You both D'awww >Look at the clock >8 o clock >Applebloom yawns >Discord gasps >"She's suffering the effects of fatigue! Anon. It is your duty to raise this child as an agent of chaos. Get that child to bed and do NOT let me down." >You sigh and shake your head, picking up a tired looking Applebloom from the floor >She cuddles up to your chest as you climb the stairs on the way to her bedroom You can't decide on whether or not you want to be serious, can you Discord? One minute you're all jokes the next you're all "Oooh lets indoctrinate this child!" >"They don't call me DISCORD for nothing, Anon." >Applebloom stirs >"Ahnon? What's an indockynayshon?" Nothing, dear. You just try and get some sleep >You nudge open her door and lay her on her bed >Smile down at her >"Don't forget to tuck her in!" You're a softy, Discord >"THIS CHILD WILL BE RAISED PROPERLY IF SHE'S GOING TO BRING DOWN SOCIETY!" >Applebloom's eyes are half closed >She smiles sleepily at you >"G'night, Ahnon..." >"G'night... Discord..." >Discord squee-gasms and you hear a slight thump in your head, indicating that he must have fall off his office chair >You creep back out the door and gently close it >Heading back towards the stairs you pass a door >Applejack's room. >Discord is silent. Must have passed out from how "evil" Applebloom was. You have to admit. She was incredibly "evil" when she was tired. >You fiddle with your fingers and nervously look at the door >Your reach towards the doorknob >"What did ah tell ya', sonny?" >You gasp and look towards the stairs >Granny Smith is regarding you with an unnerving stare >Stupid old people and their experienced glares >You apologise again and head back downstairs >She stops you on the way past >She frowns at you >"Ya'll can stay downstairs on the sofa. You an' uhh-" >She points at your forehead >"Him" >She trots upstairs and into her own room >You walk the rest of the way downstairs and lie on the sofa, thinking about the Apple family before you fall asleep !highlight!--- !highlight!Part 4 !highlight!--- >Day Estrus the Second in Equestria >Wake up with an incredibly sore back >That sofa wasn't made to be slept on by a human >You groan and swing your legs off it, rubbing your head >The house is silent; you can hear the chirping of birds outside and see the morning sun streaking in through the cracks in the curtains >For a moment you enjoy the tranquillity of it all >You almost forget why you're here to begin with >Eventually your mind catches up with you >Oh yeah. That's why. >Creep over to the curtains and gently push one aside >The farmyard is deserted, and no sign of any Estrus-burdened mares can be found >Smile >Looks like you're going to be safe here after all >You notice the clock >7:00 >Applejack would normally be up by now >But given her... situation, you guess she can't go about her normal business >You wish you could go up and see her >But Granny Smith wouldn't agree. >The sound of joints popping and a bestial growling classed as a yawn fills your mind >And neither would he... >"Ahh. Good morning, Anon." Mornin'. >"Something the matter?" Yeah, I miss Applejack >"Oh boo hoo. Go and make us some breakfast" If you keep that tone of voice up, I might just go up and see her >"Alright, alright. You've made your point." >Walk into the kitchen to make some food Think we should wake up Granny Smith? >"Nah. Leave her be. The less out of the picture she is, the more we can concentrate on our mission" Which is? >"Preparing young Applebloom for her destiny" My god, will you please let that go? She's not going to do it and she never will. >"Don't be naive, Anon. Everyone is capable of chaos" It's too early to talk about the inner-workings of the mind and a pony's capacity for good or evil >"Nothing evil about Chaos. I've told you before how fair it is" >Don't reply, instead start searching through various cupboards for things to eat >"Oh come on, Anon. You know I'm right." ...Being 'fair' isn't relative to what's morally right. >"Hah! Oh, so now Celestia's got you talking about morals?" No. That's just me. A fair society might be fair, but it might also be cruel. Full of "necessary evils". >"Like what?" >You think >To your surprise, you can't come up with a counterpoint >"Ahh. See? You know I'm right, deep down." >Discord's voice lowers to a whisper, and he speaks as though he's talking straight into your ear >"Soon you'll realise just how appealing a world of chaos really is." >You try your best to concentrate on preparing food >But Discord's voice gets louder in your ears >"A world of true justice and freedom" >You pull out some cereal from a cupboard >"Beautiful" >Pour it into a bowl >"Happy" >Try and find some milk, just as Discord's voice gets unbearably loud >"FAIR." STOP IT. >"Ahnon? Who're ya talkin' to?" >You spin around >Applebloom is stood in the doorway, rubbing her eyes and stifling a yawn Oh, uhh. Discord. >She giggles >"You an' yer funny imagination, Ahnon." >Discord sounds shocked >"What does she mean 'Imagination'? I'm real! Anon, tell her I'm real!" >Grin Yeah. My imagination is pretty wild, isn't it? >"NOT COOL, ANON." >You make Applebloom some breakfast and sit down at the table >Discord is muttering to himself >You make conversation with Applebloom Sleep well? >"Yeah. Woke up a coupl'a times, though." Why? >"Applejack keeps makin' noises..." >You sigh Yeah, she will this time of year, it seems. >"Can you fix her?" >Your heart swells >Look at her sadly I'm sorry, Applebloom. But she has to tough this one out, I'm afraid. >Reach over the table and ruffle her mane And so do you. >Discord chuckles >"Nice work, Anon. Toughening her up for her future duties" Shut up, Discord >Applebloom giggles >"Ahm glad you an' 'Discord' are here. It's mighty borin' around here without Applejack... Ah can't find Sweetie Belle or Scootaloo neither!... Can ya'll stay with me?" Ya'll? >"You an Discord!" >Smile So he's not just my imagination, is he? >"Nop0ny talks like that to their own thoughts. I reckon ya' really do have a big ol' spirit stuck in your head!" >She gasps >"Maybe ah can get my Cutie Mark in exorcism" >Discord lets out a short laugh and you raise an eyebrow That's a fancy word for an 8 year old. >She scowls >"Ahm 9 next week..." Really? Well I'll be sure to get you a present >Applebloom sits on your lap for the best part of an hour and you just sit there. Talking. >Discord laughs at her adorable little statements, and you tease her, much to her chagrin >Granny Smith comes downstairs about an hour later >She hobbles into the kitchen and gives a stern look >"Better not have been foolin' around with my granddaughter!" Oh course not, Ms Smith. >"Daaaarn tootin'! One more word .. an..." >She walks out of the kitchen, still ranting quietly to herself. >Discord clears his throat >"Anon, that offer about throwing a pie at her is still on the table." Shut up, Discord. >Applebloom peers at you >"Ahnon! We should make Applejack somethin' to eat!" I guess, yeah. >"Great! I'll go an' find somethin'" >She trots around, searching through cupboards and pulling out various condiments that she can reach >"You should make her sandwich, Anon." Not a bad idea, Discord. >"Out of nails and rat poison" Why do you hate all that is good? >"She imprisoned me in stone and made out with a stallion in front of me while I was on display at Canterlot Gardens." ...You serious? >Before he can reply Applebloom comes back >"How about we make 'er a sandwich!" >Discord chuckles >"Yes... Darling Applebloom... Do go on!" >"An' I reckon there should be apples on it!" >"...Oh what the heck, she still has a long way to go" >You and Applebloom prepare Applejack's meal while Discord gives you incredible ideas of what to slip on it >"Ok ok, hear me out. What if we shrunk a cow down to the size of a grape, then put the cow on a sandwich!" That's sick, Discord. >"Oh come on! It would be hilarious! Applejack would have a little bovine running around her small intestine!" I'm beginning to see why putting you in charge would mean the end of all things. >"Pffft. Boring." >Finally, your apple-sandwich is ready >Applebloom looks at you >"Ya'll think she'll like it?" She'll love it, why don't you go and take it up to her now? >"Sorry, Ahnon! But ah gotta find Scootaloo an’ Sweetie Belle! Gotta run!" >She runs out the backdoor through your legs >Uh oh >Ok, don't panic. It's just Applejack. >Look out into the living room >Granny Smith is snoozing away in her chair >You don't want to wake her Shit shit shit >"Might I offer a suggestion?" Please do! >"Let her starve to death!" ...WHY >"Sounds like a good time! Come on, Anon. Get into the spirit of things!" What spirit is there in murder?! >"Oh come on, you can always bring her back from the dead!" That's fuc- wait, what? >"Sure. Just snap your fingers and bring her back, good as new." No catch? >"Of course! I used to do it all the time!" Discord that's just... Horrible. I mean I can't even begin to imagine how horrific your rule must have been. >"Come now! It was funny! I would have a group of ponies fight a group of hungry tigers and the winners got to live! Where's the harm in that!" What about the losers? >"Well they would live as well. I wouldn't allow them to die." You're worse than Hitler. >"Not at all. "Hitler" let them stay dead. Nop0ny died under my rule." And how long were you in power, exactly? >"Oooh, I don't know... 600 years?" I... Just shut up, Discord. >"Alright, I'll just be searching through your childhood memories again. Lotta good ones in here" Oh for fucks sake. >You pick up the plate the sandwich is sat on and head towards the stairs >"Heh. You were so sickeningly cute back then! Ohh and you still used to wet the bed at 10! HAH!" I hate you so much it's unreal. >"Stop being such a downer. Learn to laugh at life!" Try telling that to the ponies you ruled over for 600 fucking years. >"You've become colder over the last few days, Anon. More jaded. What's to do?" >You start to ascend the stairs You really wanna know? You. You're driving me mad with this non-stop lunacy. Why can't you just settle down? For ONE DAY. JUST LEAVE ME ALONE FOR ONE DAY. >"...You sure you want to do this? Hm? A whooole day with without daddy Discord looking over your shoulder and guiding you?" >His tone has become much sterner. More absolute. I got on fine without you before. I don't even need you! >"And what about your magic? Think you can go without them to?" My magic is my own, Discord. You have no control over them. >"Very well, Anon. Have it your way. Good bye." >His cheerful attitude all but gone, Discord's voice fades from your mind >No papers shuffling >No noise >No breathing >Just silence >You're stood at the top of the stairs facing Applejack's door quietly >He's really gone >You sigh happily and knock on the door Applejack? It's me, Anon >Nothing AJ? >You grip the doorknob and push the door open >Applejack is led on her bed, facing away from the door >You settle the plate down on her bedside cabinet and start to close the door Something for you to eat. Ok? >No reply >You rap your fingers on the doorframe nervously >No harm in just seeing if she's ok >You walk through door and shut it behind you >Walk over to the side of the bed AJ is facing >She's staring at the wall, motionless >She blinks and looks up at you, sorrowfully Heeey... >Crouch down and touch her cheek >She smiles slightly >"Hey... Pardner..." How are you holding up? >"Not too good. That a san’wich ah can smell?" Yup. Gotta feed you while you're stuck in here, you know. >Applejack's smile gets wider >She still looks tired though >"It's awful, Anon." >Stroke her mane I know, AJ. I know. >She sighs and motions for you to come closer >You comply and embrace her >She nuzzles your chest and giggles >"Ya sure do smell good, Anon." >Uh oh >"Ya sure ya don' wanna stay a lil' longer?" Sorry, AJ. I can't touch you >She growls slightly >Woah >"Why not? Why am ah not allowed to touch mah own boyfriend durin' all this?" It's not that... It's just... Granny Smith said I'm not allowed to go near you during this time. Because you might... Get pregnant >Applejack gives you a deadpan look >"Anon. Are ya really that dim?" >She chuckles >"Ponies n Humans can't have foals. We're not exactly alike" >Grin sheepishly Yeah... I guess it's pretty crazy. But I can do magic! Who's to say I can't get you pregnant during this time? >"Ah'm ta' say." What- >And with that, Applejack plants her lips on yours, pulling you down onto her bed with her. >Several minutes later you both lie next to each other, panting. >You grin when you remember how mad Discord will be after that >But still, not a peep from the guy >How strange >Applejack coos >"That was mighty fine, Anon. Ah needed that." >She cuddles up to you, nuzzling your side >"An' don' you worry none. Ah won't have any foals" >She chuckles again >"So what did HE think about that? Think he's ready for round two?" Actually, he's gone. >She sits up, concern on her face >"What, GONE gone?" Kinda. We had an fight and since then I haven't even heard him breath. He never made a sound throughout that whole thing >Applejack frowns >"Ah'm sure it'll be fine but... He's in there ta begin with because ya head makes a fine prison." I know, I know... But it's... Unnerving. What's he planning? >"Can't say ah know, Anon. Discord ran rings around me an mah friends. There's no tellin' what he's doin'. Ah know ya probably know this, but remember, Anon. Discord is a pony of his word. Some kinda sick honesty runs through that thing's veins" Sick honesty? >"Sure. He'll say things an' mean it in the most literal sense. Like when he tricked us inta walkin' inta the maze. He never actually said the elements were in there. He's a smart one, that's fer sure. Don't you go underestimatin' 'im, Anon. He's smarter than he lets on." >Now you're the one frowning >He could be listening right now, just not showing it. >Whatever he's doing, Discord just got a whole lot more sinister Do you... Think he can do anything to me? >"Ah don' know, Sugarcube. The Princess put 'im in here 'cause you're bad fer magic, or somethin'. He shouldn't be able to hurt ya. Worst he can do is talk." That's what I'm afraid of. >You and Applejack exit her room and go downstairs, making sure not to wake up Granny on the way past >"D'ya think she'll be mad at me?" She will if you get knocked up. Let’s hope nature doesn't hate us >Applejack grins and trots out the door >You follow her and quietly shut it after you >Once outside you stretch and yawn Man, I'm glad to be out there. It's a great house, AJ. But I like to get out. >"Ah know how you feel, sugarcube. Let’s go grab a bite to eat. Not much around here" What about the thousands of apples? >"...Ah wanna cupcake" No. Trust me, AJ. It's a bad idea going into town. Plus... Uhh.... Oh. >You haven't told her about Twilight or Pinkie Pie. >Or Fluttershy >"What?" >She turns on you, a stern look on her face >"Anon. Look at me" >You lock your eyes with hers >"What did ya do?" >Welp. No point lying. I turned Twilight into jelly and shattered her, turned Pinkie Pie into stone then broke her as well, placed them both in buckets for reconstruction then just left the buckets lying around and made Fluttershy literally go fuck herself. >Applejack stares at you >"Well... Uhh. At least ya bein' honest?" Relax. I can put them back together, I think. >She sighs >"Guess we gotta find those buckets then, huh?" Yup. But seriously, we see a single pony and we're gone. Kapeesh? >"Bless ya." >You lead Applejack down the path from Sweet Apple Acres to where you think you put Pinkie Pie's bucket >To your shock, Pinkie Pie is lying next to the bucket, un-stoned and completely whole again, sleeping. >Applejack looks at you >"Ah thought ya said she was IN the bucket?" She was... >You both walk over and look down at the snoozing Pinkie Pie >Nudge her with a foot >She snorts and slowly comes to >"Huh? Oh, Hiya, Anny! Hi Applejack!" >"Heya, Pinkie" ...Hi >Pinkie Pie's smile widens >"What's up, Anny? Was yesterday too much fun for ya?" >She winks at you >With eyes, you dirty bastard. >Applejack gives you another look >"Mind explainin' Anon?" I already told you. I snap-froze her and blew her up. Putting all the pieces in that bucket. >You motion at the bucket with "Pinkie Pie" written on it for emphasis >Applejack raises an eyebrow >"Pinkie? Mind tellin' me what happened?" >She beams >"Okie dokie lokie!" >Pinkie Pie then begins her tale >It's an engaging story full of twists and turns. An adventure about a young colt journeying to the forbidden lands to destroy a magic horseshoe in the fires of Mount Coom. >She finishes 30 minutes later, you're sat cross-legged on the floor with Applejack resting against your chest, both of you staring glassy eyed at Pinkie while she speaks >"And that, Nonny. Is how I became trapped inside this bucket" >Rather than bothering to ask what actually happened, you pick up Applejack under your arm and walk off, saying goodbye to Pinkie as you walk away. >Applejack is quiet >"Anon?" Yo. >"...D'ya really think Little Hoof managed to get back to the Shire?" None of that happened, Applejack. >"Oh" >You head towards Twilight's Library, Applejack now trotting alongside you >"So lemmie get this straight, you an' that demon up there had the bright idea to turn Twilight inta JELLY?" Yeah. It was awesome. For like, 4 seconds. >"Then what?" Let's just say that me and Twilight tangled, and things got sticky. I'll need to wash off the shame later. >Applejack gawps at you >"WE'RE YOU HAVIN' IT ON WITH ANOTHER MARE?!" What? No! I got covered in jelly then blew her up. >"Oh... Uhh, sorry." It's ok. She also nearly raped me. >"WHAT THE- WHY THAT LITTLE- OOooh Ah'm gonna have a talk with that unicorn." Come on, Applejack! It's estrus! Give her a break! >Applejack storms ahead >"NO! NO MARE TOUCHES MY MAN!" >You smile proudly and watch her kick open the library door I tapped that. >You run after her before she can severely harm the Princess' personal student. >"AH DON' CARE, TWILIGHT. YOU DON'T TOUCH 'IM, YA HEAR?" >"Applejack, please! You know how hard it is!" >"Yeah, ah do! But at least ah had the decency to restrain mahself and lock mahself in mah room!" >"Then why are you out here now?" >You walk through the door in time to see Applejack look your way and smile with a blush on her face >"Anon helped me out." >Twilight is now fuming >"Y-you HYPOCRIT! You tell me to restrain myself then go and use him for your own personal gain? I can't believe you!" >"Ah'm not 'usin' 'im if he's willin', right, Anon?" Uhh, She's right, Twi. Me and AJ have been a thing for a while now. >Twilight is shocked >"Seriously? You and... Her?" >Applejack turns back to Twilight, her eyes narrowing again >"Waddya mean, 'HER'?" Guys, come on. Calm down. This whole estrus thing is hard for everyone, I can imagine. >They both try to relax I got chased out of my own home, Applejack locked herself in her room and wouldn't eat, Twilight lost her mind. Hell, every mare in this town lost it. Yesterday morning I was stood on my roof turning anything that came near me into sheep. >The two mares give you incredulous looks. >"...Sheep" Hey, don't look at me. It was Discord's idea. >You all stand in silence for a while Estrus fucking sucks >"Eeyup" >"Yeah..." So what now? >Twilight muses >"Hmm... Who else did you run into yesterday, Anon?" Ugh. Fluttershy. >"What did you do to her?" I made her go fuck herself. >"What, like literally?" Yeah. It hurt to watch. >Twilight sighs >"Guess we'd better go sort her out." >You all poke your heads out the library door Is the coast clear? >Applejack squints and studies the area >"Looks that way, sugar." >Twilight clears her throat >"You know, Anon. If you ever need some uhh, release..." >Applejack slaps her >"Mah man." >"Sorry. Estrus." >You all sneak through town, sticking to the shadows and avoiding Estrus-crazed mares who are lumbering around like some kind of sexy zompocalypse >Applejack prods your leg while you all hide under a cart from a large mob of slowly moving, moaning mares >"Pssst, hey, Anon. Why not just use magic to distract 'em?" Oh yeah. >You raise a hand at them and imagine a hologram of a stallion dancing in a hula-skirt >Nothing Uh oh. >Twilight shuffles on her belly over to you >"What's wrong?" Uhh. I can't magic. >"WHAT?!" >You clasp a hand over her mouth >She starts licking your palm and blushing >Applejack reaches over your back and slaps her head >Remove your hand >"So salty... Uhh. Sorry. Estrus. What do you mean you can't do magic?" Well nothing's happening >"Is there something wrong with your horn?" I don't have a horn, genius. >"I beg to differ~" >Appleslap >"OW! Ugh. Ok, you can't do magic. Let's just make a break for it when they've gone past" >You all watch the mob of mares lumber on past, groaning and dripping God damn your species is gross. >Appleslap Ow. >Once they're all gone you get out from under the cart and sprint towards the edge of town >You duck behind trees and avoid stray mares >You jump into bushes >You hide behind low walls >You force Applejack and Twilight to make out while you use them as cover >It's awesome. >Eventually you all get to Fluttershy's cottage >You stand looking at it, your hands on your hips, Twilight to the right of you and Applejack to the left >Twilight speaks up >"Anon? If we don't make it-" Lemmie just stop you right there, because you're starting to sound like Fluttershy. >"Sorry... Estrus..." >Applejack shakes her head and sighs >She doesn't even both to slap Twilight >Truly, this Estrus has made us all empty shells of what we once were >You stroll up to the door and knock thrice >The door opens, and you get knocked back by a wall of musk strong enough to have a physical effect on objects >Fluttershy walks through the door, with bagged eyes, a frazzled mane and a dopey grin >"Ohh.. Hey, baby. How're YOU doin?" What. >Applejack and Twilight both go "huh?" >Fluttershy continues, talking in a slow drawl >"You guys come round to chill? S'cool, I guess. Come on in." >She turns and slowly walks back inside >You give the other two mares a bewildered look Uhh. Ok then. >You motion for them to follow you, and you try not to gag as you step into Fluttershy's house >The stench is unreal. Like 40 orgies happened at once. Fluttershy- >You break into a fit of coughing while she looks at you with the gaze of a pony that just smoked a thousand blunts >During 40 orgies What is that SMELL?! >Twilight and Applejack are also struggling to stay stood up right >Fluttershy's smile gets more lopsided >"Nothin' much, baby. Just got it all outta my system, ya know?" WHAT? >"Your speeeeell, maaaan! It was crazy. I haven't slept since then. It stopped this mornin' and I just led on my bed, ya know?" >She stares into space >And doesn't stop >Snap your fingers Focus, 'Shy. What do you mean it stopped this morning? >"Weeell... I was anally hoofing myself, 'cause, ya know, it's awesome." >You, Twilight and Applejack shudder >"And I just kinda stopped doing it. Felt kinda weird doing it all of a sudden." >Twilight staggers up to Fluttershy >"Anon said you fucked yourself, is this what he meant?" >Fluttershy laughs >Incredibly slowly >"Yeah, mare. Just kinda realised how beautiful I am, ya know? I had to get me a piece of that ass." >While Fluttershy drawls on about how many fetishes and positions she did with herself, you're putting the pieces together >Just as Fluttershy is about to tell an uncomfortably eager looking Twilight about the secret of the perfect orgasm, you interrupt >Twilight groans I think I've got it. Twilight, when did you stop being jelly? >"This morning, why?" That must be it then. You, Pinkie and Fluttershy must have returned back to normal when my magic wore off! >Fluttershy laughs slowly again >"Maaan, the audience already figured that out ages ago..." What? >"Nothin', man. Listen, I gotta go look after some animals. It's pretty crazy. I'm out, peace." >With that she flies into a wall, laughs, and flies out the window next to her >You, Twilight and Applejack stand in stunned silence >Applejack slowly speaks up >"Uhh. Anon? Did you break Fluttershy?" I might have broken Fluttershy. >"Thought so..." >You all walk out of her house, not saying a word to each other >A noise to your left causes you all to watch Fluttershy licking a tree and talking to Angel Bunny about how beautiful life is >TS: "Anon. Can you make me appreciate life like that?" >Appleslap >TS: "Ow" >AJ: "Come on, ya'll. Let’s go" Where are we heading? >AJ: "Anyplace that isn't here. I need ta get that smell outta my nose." >You and Twilight agree >One last look over your shoulder as you follow AJ and Twilight shows Fluttershy braiding her hair with flowers and singing >Have you ever been fucked so hard you turned into a hippy? >Well Fluttershy has. >You all walk in silence down the road towards your ruined house >As it comes closer, you see shattered windows, broken doors and a ruined garden >You sigh >Applejack pats you on the leg sympathetically >"It's ok, sugarcube. We can fix it once this is all over." It's not just that... >Twilight and AJ look at you >TS: "What's wrong?" >It has been nagging you all day. >Ever since you lost your magic, and he left, you've felt a great sense of loneliness. >As much as you hate to admit it, you felt like something was missing without him there to watch over you and help you out whenever you needed him >He knew you better than anyone else, knew what to expect from you and you from him >And try as you might, you can't help but say I miss Discord... >Twilight and AJ share a look >AJ: "You serious?" I can't help it, guys. He's just always there for me. He can be annoying as hell, and he pries into my darkest thoughts and reads them like a morning paper, but I miss him! He's funny. He's wise and intelligent and I miss him" >TS: "You do realise that he probably doesn't feel the same way. It IS Discord, Anon." >A deep chuckle resonates throughout your skull >You hear the cracking of joints >A long, bestial yawn >And papers shuffling >You feel a massive smile grow on your face >Twilight's eyes widen >TS: "Oh no." >"Ahhh... I missed you too, Anon. Now let’s go practice magic." >You let loose a maniacal cackle and before she can react, you turn Twilight into a toilet. >Applejack screams and runs off as you snap your fingers, fixing your windows and front door >Toilet Sparkle flaps her seat angrily Oh put a lid on it, Sparkle. >Discord roars with laughter and you grin, snapping your fingers and teleporting Twilight back to her Library. >You summon some popcorn and eat it as you sit on the roof of your house, playing with the clouds in the sky >"Hey Anon." Yeah, Discord? >"Sorry for shouting." I'm sorry for getting mad at you. >"Friends?" Friends. >"Now turn that cloud into a penis." The End.