x by Beran https://desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/24865839/#q24945821 --- "WHAT? YOU KNEW ABOUT IT? ALL THIS TIME?" >"Calm down Anon, I can explain." "Twilight! I thought we were friends!" -- later -- >Being the only human in Equestria wasn't always easy. >It has been what? Almost a year? >One year since you have first woken up in Equestria, a year since you've been kidnapped form your life. >Year since everything you knew was taken away form you. >But it didn't matter. Not for long, anyway. >You've discovered a new world, met a race of pastel colored horse and made new friends. >Or at least that's what you thought. >... >It hurts. >Your heart, your feelings. >Your alleged best friend that graciously allowed you to live in her castle has betrayed you. >She was not your friend and you were not her guest. She was a liar and you were... you are... her prisoner. >All this time you've been searching for a way home. >To return, to let everyone know that you were alive, or just to know that your home still exists? >You don't know for sure, but that didn't bother you right now, because you've finally found it, and it's clear that you have to go. >I's been hiding in the hoofs of your friend, former friend. >Bu that doesn't doesn't matter now either, you're going home. --later that day-- >"Anon, please! Listen to me! It's not safe!" "You've been through it before." >"Yes, and it turned me to a human and spike to a dog. What if it turns you into a pony!" "Gee, Twilight that's... I've never thought of that." "I mean, being a pony? For the rest of my life? Can you imagine how horrifying that must be? I mean, how could anyone..." >"I'm not joking Anon!" "Well, neither am I. Do you have any idea how many things do I have to catch up on? Books, movies, cartoons, games!" "And all my friends probably think I'm dead! They care about me and I need to let them know that I'm a live." >"I care about you too." "..." "If you really mean that, you will open the damn thing." -- moments later -- >OOOOOOH FUCK! WHY IS EVERYTHING MADE OF COLORS! AAAAARRRRGH! -- some more moments later -- >You're blind, your head is spinning, and you're lying flat on some cold hard surface. >But at least the colors are finally gone. >Ughhh, where are you? Is this Earth? >Come on Anon, you know you can do it, sit up. >Why does your head spin so much? >Gooood... now open your eyes... slowly, slowly... >... >Pavement... blue sky... grass... ughhh... houses? >Yes... those are definitely houses. >Houses... with roof tiles? >They don't have those in Ponyville, right? >Well, you're not in Equestria anymore, that's for sure. >And that big building in front of you? that must be the Canterlot high! >You've never heard of town called Canterlot before Equestria, but once you'll find out what state you're in it shouldn't be a problem for you to get home. >However, first you need to get off the ground. >Just push yourself up and... >Wait a minute? >Why? >Why are your fingers green? >Nonononono, this isn't good! It's not just the fingers! >You shouldn't be green! you've never been green! >Why the fuck did you insist on coming through that portal! >Why didn't you listen to Twilight? She was right about this! >Wait... No, she wasn't. >You still have fingers, not hooves! >Let's call it a tie. >"Hey, are you all right? Can i help you?" >Who is that?... And why is he yellow? "No I... uhhh.. I tripped..." >Why is he looking at you like that? And why is his hair blue? >"You sure you're okay, dude?" "Yea.. I'm positive, thanks for asking." >... >*fhew* Anon, that was close. >Get of your ass and stop being so conspicuous, just try to blend in. -- some time later -- >There's lots of people, and all of them different colors. >Red, blue, orange, magenta, green, white... >Not a single black person though. >Is that a good or a bad thing? >Hmm... >Well one thing's for sure. >Wherever it is you are, It's not your Earth. >... >Why did you have to be green anyway? -- even later -- >You can't just keep roaming like this forever. >If Twilight was right, it will be a few more days before she can open the portal again. >You need to find a place to sleep. >Wasn't she supposed to have some friends around here? >Now, if only you could remember where did she say they lived. -- even more later -- >Knock knock. >Please let this be the right door. Please let this be the right door. Please let this be the right door. >... >Yes! "Hi, I'm Anon, are you Sunset Shimmer?" >"Do I know you?" "Twilight didn't tell you about me?" >How typical of her, leaving you out of everything. "I'm Anon, the only human in..." >Damn, you'll need to find a new way to introduce yourself. >Why is she looking at you like that? "Anyway, I'm one of Twilight's friends, I came here from Equestria, through the portal, the same way you did." "I need a place to stay until the portal opens again and... I wanted to ask if I could crash in your house for a few days." >There must have been a better way for you to say that. >"Look, I don't know who you are, or what crazy things you're talking about... But I'm sorry, I want you to leave." >Fuck, it's all or nothing. "You were born as a horse, unicorn to be exact. That symbol on your shirt? "It appeared on your flank when you were a filly and finally found your special talent. "You grew up in in a castle on a side of mountain called Canterlot as a protege of princess Celestia, you..." >"All right, I believe you! Get in!" >... >"Don't do that again, okay? Can you imagine what would happen if someone heard you?" >"..." >"Anon, was it?" "Full name Anonymous, but everyone calls me just Anon." >"Well 'Anon', would you kindly explain to me what the heck is going on?" -- later that day -- >Salty, chewy, fatty. >Who cares that it's a junk food? >You've almost forgotten how dead animals taste like. >Murder, has never been so delicious. >Every bite makes you want to go and slaughter a whole zoo. >Oh, how much you've missed the simplest of human pleasures. >even just talking to someone with two legs feels great. "... and then she falls right on my face, knocks me over, and we both end up on the ground." "I shake it off like nothing happened, and get up again. But she? She's still on the ground mumbling about me being an asshole or something." "So, I want to be nice, offer her hand and *snort* I'm like 'are you ok? did I hurt you'. She *cha* she *heh* she turns around and *hah* "and she's like 'BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!' jumps right back up the tree like a cant and starts making this weird noise like *heh* like" "*iiiiik*, *iiiiik*, *iiiiik* *hehehehuhahaha*" >"bwhahahhaha" "*ahaha*" >"*haha*" "So *heave* anyway... that's how I first met Rainbow Dash." "..." >"But don't tell her I told you that, she'd kill me." -- even later that day -- >"It's getting late, we should go to sleep. I gave a school tomorrow and you..." "No thanks, I've already graduated once and I'm not interested in any of that teenage drama." "I'll just take a look around the city, or visit some places or something." "It's not like this is my first time in another dimension, remember? I can manage." >"Yeah, right." ... >"So umm... where do you want to sleep? I don't have a guest room." >"My bed is big enough for two people... but... umm..." "Ohhh, that... don't worry about it... I'll seep on the couch." "As far as places to sleep on your first night go, this dimension is heavenly." "In Equestria I had to do with a pile of leaves and twigs." -- that night -- >The couch is fine. >A little bit too old, but fine. >At least it's big enough for a human. >And the blanket is so soft and warm. Snuggling in it feels so comfy. >Nothing like those glorified towels that ponies call blankets. >Constantly wrapped in their own fluffy fur, those little things have no idea how to appreciate this level of softness. >... >This place is different. >Wherever that portal took you, it's not the Earth you came from. >How does that portal work anyway? >Why did you turn green and not into a pony? >Maybe it's broken? >What if you turn into a pony when you go back? >You don't want to be a pony! That was just a joke! >Twilight was right, coming here was stupid. >She could have at least warned you that people here had colors. >It would have tipped you off that this was the wrong dimension. >Fucking book horse. >... >Nah, it's not her fault, ponies have pastel colors too, it must have been completely normal to her so she just didn't mention it. >Maybe it wouldn't be so bad to be a pony.... it could be so cool. >At least, flying and magic would. >Being an earth pony would suck. >... >What if you wouldn't be a pony at all? >How about a gryphon? Now THAT would be cool. >Not every one who's a human here is a pony in Equestria. >You're pretty sure you saw three guys that were supposed to be diamond dogs. >... >Ho.. >HOLY SHIT! >Buddha Jesus Allah Odin! THE DOGS! >When Spike want through the portal he turned into a dog! >Which means... >If you were to buy a dog and bring it back to Equestria... >You don't even care if you're going to turn into a pony or not. >You're going to have your own frigging DRAGON! >... >But what breed should you get? >No offense Spike, but dragons are cooler with wings. >You can't just buy a puppy and then put it away when it doesn't grow wings. >It doesn't matter, dragon is a dragon, and you're not going to love yours any less just because it doesn't have wings. >... >You should really go to sleep.