!highlight!I am not the author, this is archived from https://web.archive.org/web/20150826223326/https://pastebin.com/gzJ1jaVU.
!highlight!
Original Author: Anonymous Mon 22 Dec 2014 17:29:45 No.21113660
>Be Anon.
WOOOO
>Be tired.
BOOOOO
>Worked overtime at Sweet Apple Acres.
BOOOOO X 2
>Got paid overtime, and invited drinking with Applejack.
>She's a good pone, she is.
>As a bet, you both are trying your hands at a muff diver.
>While her face looks like the bad aftermath of a porno, you've managed to keep everything but your nose clean of cream.
"Goshdarnit anon, howin the buck did you keep your face clean?"
"A long tongue, applepone."
>As you let your tongue writhe about in the air for a while, Applejack starts laughing.
"Darn things as slippery as a bloodsucker!"
>Is she mocking you? Eh, don't care.
"Ah gotta go to the mare's room, 'cuze me."
"Wanna another cider?"
>She's already walking, not straightly, of course, but vigorously nods her head.
>When you turn around, looking for the waiter, you notice Twilight standing nervously by the door.
"Oi! Twi! Get over here!"
>Well, that got her attention, hell, she even jumped a bit.
>You don't normally like her, because she would not just shut up with the questions, but you feel nice and talkative tonight.
>While walking towards your table, she didn't break eye contact, so when she bumped into a table, you couldn't help but laugh.
"That wasn't funny, Anon."
"Hell it wasn't, you even apologized to everybody at the table."
"Well what was I supposed to do?"
>Goddamnit. She's actually looking a little teary.
"Say sorry once to the table. We're all drinking, we don't care."
>As she hops onto the chair, the waiter comes over to your table.
"Two more ciders, and Twi?"
"Uhh.... Shirley temple?"
>You and the waiter look at each other. Then you look at Twilight, who seems to be slightly hyperventilating.

"Would you like me to order for y-"
"YES. I mean, um, yes thank you."
>You don't even look away from Twilight, the twitchy girl.
"We are getting you drunk."
"Oh- ok then."
"You don't do this much, do you."
"Well, its hard getting out of the castle, Spike always needs help, Celestia needs weekly reports and if I don-"
>Almost regretting bringing her here, but you see your original drinking buddy come out of the washroom.
"Twilight! Fancy seeing you here, girl. Booze back yet?"
"Nah, practically just ordered. But yeah, never seen you here Twi. What brings you out?"


>Be Princess Twilight Sparkle.
>'Relaxing' with a good book.
>Alright, it's smut, but its good smut.
>Alright its bad smut, but it's getting the job done.
>Alright your left hoof's getting the job done, but its good reading material.
>No it isn't.
*knock knock*
>Celestia-damnit.
"Hey Twi, I was wondering, where did you put the rubies?"
>You let out a muffled moan, bending over your wet hoof.
"Spike, they're in the cupboard!" 
>You don't mean to yell at him, but you can't stop, not when you're so close.
>As you weakly finish into your hoof, Spike opens the door.
"Spike, I'm busy."
>You realize that you don't even have to look busy, you just started to clop while working with scrolls next to you.
"Twi?"
>HE KNOWS
"Yea-ah?"
"It smells weird in here."
>HE DOESN'T KNOW
"Oh, ha ha, um, just um, open up some windows its been such a long time since we've had fresh air in here, yeah."
"Hey Twi?"
"Yeah?"
"I think you should go out tonight, bring somebody back home."
>Oh that's cute, he wants someone to play with.
"Who do you want me to bring back? Pinkie Pie? Rarity? Mrs and Mr Emerald ice cream?"
>You pull on his cheek with your magic, stretching his stone cold looking face.
"I'm going to be out tonight, too."
"I don't think you should be out a whole nigh-"
"Burning those sheets you're sitting in."
>HE KNOWS EVERYTHING

"Spike, if you want the sheets cleaned, you should have said so! I know how delicate your wittle nose is."
>"For starters Twi, It's not delicate, its sharp, second, there isn't just dirt on those sheets."
>Your magic stops pulling on his cheek, and his mouth makes a slight popping noise.
>You look into his eyes, and you see... oh yeah. He knows.
"Sooooo, uhhh..."
>"I'm burning those sheets in five, then we're sweeping this issue out the door."
>You stand up stiffly, and walk out towards the door, grabbing your saddlebags on the way out.
>As you close the door to the castle, you can't help but hear a noise of disgust from the opened window.
>Oh, he saw it didn't he.
>You can't sigh as the sheets are flung into the sky, then burnt mid-air.
>Ponyfeathers.

>Be drunk Anon.
>You and a far more hammered Applejack are looking at very zoned out Twilight who's been muttering curses under her breath.
>She finally comes back to the land of the living, when Applejack knocks her head with her mug of cider.
>"Equestria to Twilight, com'on girl, what are we toasting to?"
>She practically jolts up and practicly shouts:
>"I ask not for a lighter burden, but broader shoulders. Uhh, mares and gentleman, we have the broadest shoulders around."
>You and Applejack exchange glances for a second, but Applejack raises her mug and tacks on:
>"To the workers!"
>Fuckit, good enough.
>Everybody (fuck pony) clinks their mugs, then proceeds to drink their cider.
>Scratch that, everybody but Twi, who seemed just to put the drink to her lips, and then put it back down.
>"Seriosly Anon, if you didn' stay lahter today, we'd nevah get done. Still have no idea how you keep up."
"Well, males are the stronger ones in my species, but I'm not going to let a friggin horse beat me."
>And like that, Twilight brought out a scroll, her pen already sprinting across the paper.

>"Really Anon, that's amazing! Then why does society send the weaker ones to do the jobs? Do you-"
"Gonna stop you right there, men do most of the hard work, and put away the notes. We're here to drink, not play twenty questions."
>Twilight looks a bit dejected, but puts the notes back into the bag.
>Applejack drains a bit more of her cider, then looks at Twilight.
>"So Twigh, what brings you out? Nevah got a proper answer."
>"Oh um, uh, Spike said I sould go out and uh, nevermind."
>"Spike said you should what?"
>Twilight leans over and whispers in Applejacks ear.
>Whatever it was, it was something funny, because now Applejack is laughing like an idiot, and Twi looks completely pissed.
>"It's not funny, Applejack!"
>"HAHAHAohmycelestia! What are you going to do, go afta my brother again? You know what? Why dont'cha ask Anon?"
"Twilight should ask me what?"
>"Twilight was wondering if you'd take her home and mmpft!"
>Well, whatever it was, its gone know, because Twilight's hoof is now solely in AJ's mouth.
>"Its nothing Anon, nothing to be worried about or anything."
>Well, if she said don't worry about it.


>Be Twilight, the now drunken mare.
>It's been about 3 hours since you came to this bar, and you feel that you've gotten closer to Anon.
>Physically. You scooted your seat far closer towards him, and it seems that he hasn't noticed.
>Or hopefully doesn't mind.
>You've also learnt that when Anon gets drunk enough, you can ask him questions without him saying no.
"So this... computer, was it? It can do math?"
>"Yes, but its usually used for things other than math."
"Like..?"
>"Games, videos, music and a lotta porn."
>You can feel your cheeks getting red at that comment, but you smile a bit.
>Applejack just grins at you.
"So humans have pornographic material too? Do they stimulate themselves with it?"
>"Yeah they use it."
>You make a mental note, that maybe pornography isn't viewed as negatively where he comes from

>Which means if Anon see's your pornography when you take him home, maybe he won't bolt like Soarin.
>They were obviously fake, no stallion can last a whole half-minute.
>As Anon pushes away from the table and stands up, you can't help it, and look at his profile.
>Ahhhhhh yes.
>"Back in a bit, going to use the bathroom."
>As he walks away, Applejack leans across the table.
>"You uh, you planning on riding Anon?"
"Kinda?"
>"You know he isn't into ponies, right?"
"I have an idea."
>Applejack huffs slightly at this, grinning stupidly.
>"What, you going to use your feminine charms? Cuz I need to see this."
>You know she's mocking you, but you are going to get Anon.
"Come on, Applejack, can you please let me try?"
>"Alrigh, Alright. So what is your plan outta curiosity? We know you tend to over-think things."
"Well first I'm going to get him to come home with me. He's been drinking so much, he's only a stallion after all."
>"Why's he going to come home with you?"
"I'll propose that he should crash on my couch, and then I will find a way to get his clothes off."
>"Whose crashing?"
>NO ANONS HERE
>HOW MUCH DID HE HEAR
"HI ANON!"
>YOU SCREAMED THAT AT HIM, CALM DOWN, THIS ISN'T PROM
>"Hi?"
>Don't mess up, don't mess up, don't mess up, don't mess up.
"I was just saying, rather than walking ALL the way back to your house, you should just sleep at my place tonight."
>He's looking at you weird.
>WHY IS HE LOOKING AT YOU WEIRD
>"You sure? I mean my house isn't that far away, and I'm not even that bad."
"NO! I, uh, I'll make you breakfast."
>While he mulls it over, you look at Applejack, and she gives you a smile.
>"C'mon Anon, Twilight's good at making eggs, and yah won't believe her toast."
>Don't you screw this up, Applejack.
>"Alright. I'll have to make it up to you though."
>YES
>YOU WILL, WON'T YOU
>Applejack winks at you, then stretches.
>"Well ah best be hitting the hay. Can't stay up too late."
>"Alright boss. See you tomorrow."

>Be Anon the drunk.
>You and Horse of Books are taking a lovely stroll late in the evening.
>And like all lovely strolls taken on a chilly autum night, you are drunk as a skunk.
>Can skunks even drink? Ya know, without dieing?
"Hey Twi?"
>"Yes?"
"Can skunks drink? Without dieing?"
>She looks at you quizically, but doesn't seem to really care.
>"Skunks eat fruits, and fruits can ferment and become alcholic in nature. But they don't actively seek out alcahol."
>She cocks her head at you with a quizacal look on her face.
>"Why do you ask?"
"Honestly, just wondering."
>Never thought Twi would be this open with you.
>You knew she was a little quiet, but you never thought you'd be able to talk this easily.
>Hell, Spike told you to flat out run from this town, especially her.
"Hey Twi?"
>She actually jumped a bit, awwe. 
>"Ye, Yes Anon?"
"You have a good night?"
>"Uhh.. yes? Why?"
"No, just wondering. I had a good night with ya, we should do this more often."
>"I'd like that."
>Dawww. You drop your hand to Twilight's head, and give her noggin a bit of a rub.
>"Ohhhh, keep doing that."
>Weird, but you don't stop scratching her head.
>She's closed her eyes, and is pushing her horn into your palm.
>You start to massage her horn, and she pushes into your leg.
"Twi, could you stop pushing against me? It's kinda hard to walk."
>She startles a bit, and grows a slight blush.
>"Sorry. I got a bit carried away. We'll have time when we get home though, right?"
>Silly pone, its sleep time.
"Ehh, honestly I'm going to sleep as soon as I get to your house."
>She looked dejected as you said that. But as you turn the corner towards her house, she brightens up.
>Be inside Twilights castle.
>You watch as book pone shakes her ass, trying to dislodge her saddlebags.
>Although it's funny watching her jump around like an idiot, you reach around her and undo the clasp on her belly.
>"Little to eager, aren't we?"
"What was that?"
>"Nothing, nothing. Thank you."

>As you stand up you can't help but notice a strange smell in the air.
>Shit, that's you, isn't it.
"Hey, Twigh, could I use your shower? I smell like mud and cider."
>Why is she looking at you like that?
>"Thanks Anon, I like to be fresh too."
>You knew she was a germaphobe.
>"It's up the stairs, to the left."
"Thanks. I take it I'm getting the couch?"
>"The couch is alright."
>She really said that fast.
>Maybe she's one of those unsuffarable people who alcohol just makes them energetic.
>As you climb the stairs, you feel like you're being watched.
>When you find the bathroom, you pause, then lock the door.
>Don't know why.

>YESYESYESYES
>HE"S IN THE HOUSE I DID IT
>Alright, Twilight. Calm down. In through the mouth, out through the nose.
>How do you look?
>OH CELESTIA, HOW DO YOU LOOK
>You practically shove your face into the hallway mirror, but its okay, you're fine.
>It's just you and him.
>...Isn't it?
>SPIKE YOU LIZARD DON"T YOU DARE MESS THIS UP
>As you run through the castle you check everything.
>Kitchen: No Spike, No plates.
>Dining Room: No Spike, Not a hair out of place.
>Library: No Spike, smut hidden.
>Labratory: No Spike, everything's clean.
>As you just about leave the basement, knowing Spike's not in the castle, you pause.
>It has been a while.
>And you want this to be at least 20 seconds.
>Somewhere, in here, there is a energy potion.
>You managed to squeeze out 25 seconds with Soarin, the last time you used it with him.
>It's odourless, tasteless and colorless.
>Anon would never know.
"Twilight, you naughty mare."
>As you make a pass through the kitchen, you look for wine glasses.
>You grab them, and some fruity wine.
>When you sit down in the living room, you uncork the wine, and pour two glasses.
>Anon's being a little smaller than your's.
>You then fill his until it's as full as yours with the potion, and twirl the drink to dilute the clear substance.
>As you position the glasses, you hear the bathroom door open.

>You claim one half of the couch, and with a bit of quick thinking and quick magic, light a fire in the firebox.
>Stallions like atmosphere, right?
>You can hear him walk down the stairs.
>Alright, reel him in.
>"Twi?"
"Down hereee."
>You try to sound as seductive as possible, but it just sounds weird.
>As he walks into the living room, you see him pause a bit, then continue walking.
>Oh yeah. He's impressed.
>Also, he looks sooo good with wet hair.
>As he sits down on the couch, he asks hesitantly:
>"Whatsaaaa.. whats with all this?"
>Oh you want me to work for it, dont you.
"Weelll, I was thinking we should end the night with some wine, don't you think?"
>"Honestly, not much of a wine drinker."
>DON'T YOU MESS THIS UP, NOW
"Come on, a toast then! To a blossoming friendship."
>"Heh. Alright."
>As he sits down, he spreads his legs, tempting you already, the little tease.
>"What wine is this, out of curiosity?"
>You almost spill the glasses, as you reach to grab the bottle.
"Uh... Something from Chataue Rose. With hints of grapefruit and white grapes."
>"Look at Miss fancy pants right here. To friendship."
"To friends."
>As you drink your wine, you keep your glass up, only to make sure Anon finishes his.
>You look at each other, glasses mid-air, and both set them down at the same time.
>"Not bad wine. A bit bitter for something so fruity. So uhh, you going to bed now?"
>Alright, like Mom showed. Get closer, make them comfortable.
"I was thinking, maybe we should stay up a bit later. Have some fun."
>You slide a little closer on the couch, you're just about near the middle.
>"Well, I wanted to go to sleep but.."
>Closer.
"But we can have so much fun right now. Together."
>Closer.
>"Honestly Twi, I'm just about done."
>He's leaning over the edge of the couch.
>Alright, time to shine.
>"Twi, what the fu- mmph!"
>You press your lips against his, and you feel his hands go on your stomach, pushing you away.

>Ahhhh yes. He stopped pushing you away.
>He isn't very active though.
>Hell, he hasn't even really touched you yet.
>You raise your head to look at him, and WHY IS HE ASLEEP?
"Anon. Anon. ANON! WAKE UP!"
>As you push yourself of him, you look at him, and the wine.
>The wine.
>The winE WAS BITTER
>WHY WAS THE WINE BITTER
>Grabbed the wrong potion.
>As you trip over yourself, to reach the potion in the kitchen, you think 'There's no way I grabbed the wrong potion, right?'
>As you glare at the bottle... no. NO!
>You just overloaded the ONE stallion whose been the first one in your house for 4 YEARS WITH CELESTIA-DAMNED SLEEPING POTION.
"Buck. BUCKING MOTHERBUCKING!"
>As you trot back into the living room, you look at him.
>He's almost falling off the couch.
>As you focus your magic on him, you feel it fizzle out.
>Oh great, magic invunerablity.
>You grab onto his feet with your hooves, and pull him onto the couch, which raises his shirt.
>If he was conscious, you probably could admire his body.
>You grab onto his shirt with your teeth and drag it down, dragging your nose down his stomach.
>Why are his pants raised?
>He's got an erection. That you won't get to experience.
...
...
...
>I'm looking.
>As you work out the mysteries of the 'phants', you breathe in his odour.
>Oh yeah, you're looking.
>This is ridiculous, he's got phants inside his phants!
>When you finally get those, his erection is standing straight up into the air.
>It might look weird, but it's not the strangest you've seen.
>You tremble in both anticipation and caution, as you reach forwards with your hoof.
>As you poke it, nothing strange happens.
>You aren't sure what you expected, but this wasn't it.
>As you poke it again, you realize that he is not feeling a thing.
>Tenatively, you push down on his stomach.
>Nothing.
>He better not wake up.
>As you raise yourself onto him, you hear his breathing catch slightly.

>There you are, his dick under you, you are already dripping on him.
>And if he wakes up, he will never let you live this down.
>He adjusts under you, seeming only to want to get into a more comfortable position on the couch.
>Slowly... gently... yeeeeEEEEssssss.
>He's half inside you, and you laugh.
"Well. I'm a rapist."
>Never do thing's halfway, Twilight.
>As you slowly hilt him inside you, you can feel old tricks coming back to you.
>%#$# those tricks, in and out time.
>Whether it's the roaring fire, the force of you doing all the work, or the fact that this domination stuff seems neat, you can feel a pressure near your crotch.
"Come on Anon, it's so close! So close..."
>You can feel him twitching inside you, as you coax it into the good spots.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH"
>In one word: wet.
>In two? It's everywhere.
>You wait tentatively, almost wanting him to wake up and see what you did.
>No, Anon's still asleep.
>As you pull yourself off him, you look at yourself.
>Still a mess, but where's the semen?
>He's still erect but - HE'S STILL ERECT?
"That's.. Amazing. Do humans have no refractory period?"
>Stop it Twilight, science in the bedroom is what got you here.
>It's a nice place to be, but still.
>You poke the erection again, and notice WHY IS THERE NO SEMEN
>HOW LONG CAN HE LAST
"I'm grabbing a clock."
...
>Be an extremely tired mare
"Ho-, ha, how is this still going it been 5, ITS BEEN 5 MINUTES!"
>Looking down at him, he hasn't even responded to you thrusting yourself on him once.
>And you look like you were doused down there.
>The clock on the table even has a bit of you on it.
>Are you not good enough?
>He's still inside you, and still as hard as he was at the start.
>You ARE going to get him to finish.

>You hilt him inside you, squirming your insides around him.
"Come - on Anon this, is ridic- ulous."
>Your mane's a mess, you feel winded and HE JUST MOVED
>You watch in horror, as his hand comes up to your side.
>As it grasps your hip, you don't move, your breath stopped.
>He lifts you up, and you close your eyes. He's awake, its over.
"Anon, I'm sooo sorry, It's just been a long time, and the one time I have a stall-ION!"
>He just slammed you down onto him, hilting himself. And now you could just about-
*Wham*
"BUuuuuck."
>With another slam, you feel yourself let loose another torrent onto him.
>And he just
*Wham*
>won't
*Wham*
>stop.
>You've given into him, and you just let him slide into you.
>As your grip gives out, you fall against his chest, but you feel him simply re-adjust, then continue.
"Don't stop, please, please, PLEASE don't stop!"
>He's still out, but he responded to that, as he placed his other hand on your thigh, and brought himself harder into you.
>It feels heavenly, with him pushing in and out of you, but you can feel a new kind of fervency.
>As it twitches inside you, you can feel yourself edge closer as well.
[spoiler]Y-You too?[/spoiler]
>He pushes deep inside you, and holds himself there, as you feel the long forgotten feel of his pleasure rushing through you.
>As you milk him for every last drop, he slides out of you, relaxing back into the couch.
>When it pops out of you, it does so audibly, with a slight suction noise.
>You almost fall of him, exhausted, but just slide back onto the couch.
>He's a mess, and you're a mess.
>With a bit of a shake in your body, you stand up, and levitate the whole couch up the stairs.
>When you get to your room, you dump him into your bed, then crawl in next to him.
>With a bit of shuffling, it's comfortable, and he's the big spoon.
>Whatever happens in the morning, you are happy now.

>Be very fully awake Twilight.
>It's still 8:31.
>Anon's starting to stir.
>And you have been awake since 6:45.
>You tried to move, but he pulled you closer.
>If he can't HEAR your heartbeat yet, he must be deaf.
>"Mmmph. Haaaaa."
>He pulls you closer, your butt now being poked by his strangely stiff erection.
>Act asleep, maybe he'll buy it, maybe he'll leave.
>"Twilight? Why the fuck am I oh god."
>He pushes himself up, next to you.
>Here it comes.
>"Shiiiiiit. Goddamnit. Ffffffff-great. Great. Twilight."
>He pushes you into the bed, gently.
"Yes Anon?"
>"We did it last night, didn't we."
"Uhhhhh"
>"Twilight where are my pants."
"I don't know."
>"Was I good?"
"What."
>"Was I go-"
"You were amazing you lasted for six minutes and thirty-three seconds, and that was with a large amount of time actively thr-"
>Anon pulls you closer, and falls back into the bed.
>"Hey Twi?"
"Yes?"
>"I won't tell anyone if you won't."
>You feel a little hurt, but you breathe a sigh of relief, knowing he's not upset.
"Okay then. Anon?"
>"Yeah?"
"Thank you."
>You feel him wrap his other arm around you and pull you close.
>"You're a good one, Twi."
>And now you're sniffling a bit.
"Thanks."
>"Wanna go again? Going to hell anyways."
>You can't help but burst out laughing, and roll around to look into his face.
"Spike will hate having to buy new sheets at this rate."
>"That a yes?"
"Yes. Yes, why not, as you said."
END DONE FIN BOOM WHATEVER
So, adjusted my writing style, and tried to slow myself down. I honestly think I made the ending far too padded out, as well as a bit shit. But anyways, have a good Christmas, and when you have time, tell me what you thought, and point out any errors in my writing.