Originally uploaded to Pastebin: January 9th, 2013 --- >Day 129 in Equestria >Wake up >Smell burning >Run downstairs >Your kitchen is on fire >Fluttershy is feeding the fire with gasoline >She sees you coming down the stairs, your face frozen in horror >"G-good morning, Anon! Is arson your fetish?" I HATE YOU SO FUCKING MUCH. >30 minutes later >Sat outside with a blanket draped over your shoulders >Firefighter Pones are putting out the last of the flames >Your house is a charred mess. A black smouldering ruin of what it once was >As is all your stuff >You're now homeless, have no money, no clothes, and nothing to your name >Fluttershy is sat on the ground next to you, playing with the grass and humming >She sees your look of despair and smiles at you >"W-would you like a daisy chain? They might be your fetish!" Why do you exist. >She shrinks away from your glare and goes back to constructing a childish clusterfuck of grass and flowers >She finishes and holds it towards you >"Ta daaah! I-it can be your first posession now that your house is gone!" Were you dropped on your head as a child? Or did that fall from Flight Camp do more damage than you like to let on? >She beams and tries to feed you a daisy >"Eat up, Anon!" >Slap her hoof away I swear to god if you even look at me from now on I'll hurt you >She looks away >You glare at the back of her head >She slowly turns her head back around >You see a teal eye looking at you from under her mane >Punch her in the face and stand up >A firepony comes over, he sees Fluttershy unconscious on the ground >"What happened?" She tripped. >Walk through Ponyville on the way to Twilights Library >She said you can stay there if anything bad happens >To your surprise, she meets you half way, panic in her eyes >"Anon! I saw smoke coming from where your house is!" House? What house. I don't have a house. >She gets the message and her ears droop >"O-oh... Sorry, Anon." >She offers a small smile and one of her ears perks up as she cocks her head slightly >"Do you... Want to stay at my place?" >Jesus fuck she's adorable. >Smile for the first time that morning Yes please, thanks, Twilight >She blushes >"You're welcome" >You follow her back to the Library, still in your boxers with a towel over your shoulders >The ground hurts like hell. You wish you had shoes at least. >Get to the Library >Spike greets you >"Hey, Anon." >He sniffs the air >You probably smell like smoke. Spike picks up on this >"Nice uhh. Smell!" Thanks. Fluttershy gave it to me. >"Oh! So you two are together now?" Well she got far more aquainted with my fist this morning >Twilight gasps. Spike laughs >Twilight turns to you, an appalled look on her face >"Anon! Did you punch Fluttershy?!" Yes. I did. >She stares at you >Spike also stares at you, but with more of a smirk on his face >"W-well... Don't!" >You pat her on the head and walk upstairs into her room >"WAIT! ANON DON'T GO IN THERE!" >Too late >You don't take orders from no one >Rebel >You push open her bedroom door, in time to see Twilight teleport in front of you and hastily try to hide a small purple book lying open on her bed >Raise an eyebrow Something you're hiding, Twilight? >You approach her, the grin on your face getting wider and the uncomfortable look on hers getting worse >"I-I, uhh" >Place a hand on her head again and ruffle her mane It's ok, Twi. I won't tell Celestia that you're practicing dark magic >She blinks >"Oh! Yeah. That. Please don't" >She laughs nervously >"So uhh. What exactly happened?" I woke up and Fluttershy was setting fire to my house. >Again, she's taken aback >"Just like that?" Oh yes. >"Oh. Ok." >Silence You got anything I can wear? >She suddenly takes notice that you're not wearing anything but your boxers and a towel >Since you're naturally protective of your body, it's rare that anyone sees your bare skin >She blushes a deep shade of red and stares at your chest >You snap your fingers in front of her eyes Eyes up here >She yelps at the snap and runs off, saying something about Rarity >You sigh and lie down on her bed, awaiting her return with your hands behind your head on her pillow and your legs hanging off the end of the bed >Staring at the ceiling is unbelievably boring. >You came to this conclusion after 10 minutes of doing fuck all >Groan >Sit up and look around >Look at the floor >See the corner of something poking out from under Twilight's bed >Grin Why hello there >Reach down and pull out the same purple book Twilight tried to hide >On closer inspection it's a journal >The lock on the front is hanging open, Twilight must have forgotten to lock it in her haste >Chuckle >This will be fun >Open the book to the first page and lie back on the bed, your new reading material in hand >First page: Introduction >"Dear Journal, my name is Twilight Sparkle and this journal is being used for my studies of the Alien being we know only as Anonymous, currently residing in Ponyville" Cool. >"September 14th: It's been three days since the Alien we now know as a "Human" arrived. He was weak from the portal that brought him here as a result of dangerous experiments conducted by myself and Princess Luna" >Sit up, your eyes widening ...The hell...? >"As a result of overestimating the energy levels that would have been released from the experiement, the rift, meant to be a portal from Ponyville to Canterlot to allow instantaneous access between the two locales, instead created an unstable gateway to another planet, which according to my calculations is far beyond this galaxy" >You gape at the journal >It was Twilight >She brought you here >You read on, rapidly reading the pages with conviction >"September 20th: Anonymous has shown signs of rapid improvement. The injuries from the rift have almost completely healed-" >You subconciously rub your leg, which you remember being a charred mess after you arrived >"-And his attitude towards us is cynical at best. I'm unsure if every Human acts this way, but he seems to regard us as a mere annoyance, not as a sentient species" >You flick the page over, the Fluttershy incident all but gone from your mind in light of these new developments >"September 21st: Anonymous continues to consider us pests, and attempts to convince him of our intellect have been met with what I can only describe as mockery" >"We showed him our most advanced creation, an arcane enchanted hydro-electric dam. He passed it off as something primitive and told us that where he comes from, they have machines that harvest the stars themselves" >It was true. Humanity was an impossibly advanced species before you were dragged from your own galaxy. Ships would fly up to a sun and harvest the extreme radiation from it, using it as fuel and storing it in little blue fuel cells. One cell could power a small fighter craft for a 100 years >"He calls us a 'Type 0' civilisation. When queried on this he laughed and said we wouldn't understand. It's infuriating to say the least" >You smile >They were primitive, but they had spirit. A lot like historians say humans once were when we were only confined to Earth >You lie back, not reading for a while, just staring at the ceiling contemplating ponies as a civilisation, the journal lying on your chest >You pick it back up and keep reading >"September 29th: Anonymous has fully recovered from his life-threatening post rift injuries. His body is resiliant to say the least. An interesting development is that a local pony, Fluttershy, has become infatuated with him. This is a remarkable new scenario and I would like to see it go further so that I may study interspecies relationships between two beings that aren't even from the same galaxy. These are exciting times for Equestria indeed" >Oh yeah. This was shortly after Fluttershy had started trying to lick you in public >Shudder >Creepy fucking horse >"October 3rd: Fluttershy has escalated her attempts to seduce Anonymous, turning to a more unorthadox approach: "Fetishes". Whether or not Anonymous will understand the concept, being from a completely different civilisation, I'm not sure. But I'm interested to see what comes of it" >She knows about it?! She always tries to pass it off as nothing. But instead she wants it to happen? Oh there will be words with that mare when she gets back >"October 7th: Anonymous has reacted violently to Fluttershy's sexual advances. She appeared at my house in tears earlier today claiming that Anonymous had kicked her, a fractured rib supported her claims. I brought this up to Anonymous and was met with defensive hostility. I was wary to push the issue further. Anonymous has shown frightening strength compared to even our strongest stallions. A testament to the might of his no doubt highly advanced species" >You wince at that >Twilight was scared of you? You didn't mean to hurt Fluttershy that day. But when she showed up dressed as a monster on your doorstep and tried to molest you with plastic tentacles, you kicked her away from you. A knee jerk reaction. It was justified. >...Wasn't it? >You read on >"October 8th: I have come to the conclusion that whatever species Anonymous deviates from, they must be a violent and aggressive people. Whether as a result of culture or circumstance, Anonymous has shown distrust towards the unknown, fear towards the unexplainable, and anger towards those that impede him. I have urged the citizens of Ponyville to stand down when he shows anger. We don't want anyone getting hurt" >So that's why everyone is so nice to you... >That hurts. More than it should >"I have also been in contact with Princess Celestia, and she has advised me to exercise extreme caution when near Anon." >Celestia doesn't trust you either. Strange. They mask their fear so well. >Carry on reading >"October 10th: I didn't want to admit it at first. But Anonymous scares me." >You feel cold all of a sudden >"Today we were in the Everfree Forest, outside Ponyville with my friends, the other Elements of Harmony. Anonymous must have a sense of adventure, despite his fear of the unknown, and pressed deeper into the woods. Eventually we went to far and Anonymous disturbed a Manticore." >You can see where this is going. >"Rather than running or trying to reason with the beast like a pony normally would, Anonymous killed it. In cold blood. When a pony is confronted with a problem, she will first reason, then assess the situation, if she can fight, she will, as I have once done. But if she knows her opponent is either no match or the whole thing can be avoided, she will run" >"Anonymous did no such thing. I watched in silent horror as he ran over to a tree and tore a branch straight off, as well as picking up a rock. Using his powerful arms he threw the rock straight at the Manticore's face, stunning it, before the Manticore could react, Anonymous mounted it over it's neck with remarkable agility and effortlessness" >"He then used the the branch to impale the Manticore, straight through the back of it's skull and penetrating the brain. Killing it instantly. He then dismounted, prodded it's body with a foot before turning to me and saying "Shall we continue?"" >You put the book down again. Fluttershy was annoying the hell out of you that day. You thought Twilight would have at least picked up on that. She kept pestering you with fetish after fetish >"Oh Anon! Lets go behind that tree and explore each other!" >"Oh Anon! Does this forest air get you horny?" >"Oh Anon! Lets just embrace our love for each other!" >No control over herself >Naturally her friends thought it was a big joke, and laughed. You just wanted to get away from her, going deeper into the forest. >The Manticore was more of an outlet for your anger >You had never really considered it until now. But your anger for Fluttershy was channeled into you mercilessly killing an otherwise innocent and confused creature >Sighing, you continue reading Twilight's Journal >"I'm worried about the possibility of more Humans slipping through to this world. Anon makes it sound like they have a complete mastery over all forms of technology, I watched Anon single handedly butcher a Manticore, one of the most dangerous creatures in Equestria. I dread to think what a group of Anon's could do with the technology he boasts of" >Probably lay waste to this world. As they have done to countless others before it >There's no hiding it. Humanity grew into one of the most feared races in the galaxy. It reenacted it's fight for survival on Earth, pre-space travel, with the rest of the galaxy. On Earth, Humanity rose to the top, using brains and ruthless barbarity to tower above all over creatures on the planet, until they ruled the place. >They did the same to the Galaxy. Moving from planet to planet, stripping them of life and harvesting them of minerals to feed the ever growing and hungry war machine, all in the name of protecting Humanity from the "big scary galaxy" >You go back to Twilight's Journal >"Despite his obviously violent upbringing, the Princess believes that in time, we can rehabilitate Anon. And use him as a force for good." What's this? >"She belives that if Anonymous is subtley taught to prefer ponies over other species in Equestria, he will act as a guardian against the forces that threaten us. Namely, the Changeling Empire." The hell is a Changeling? >"When I confronted her on this matter, she told me that with Anonymous fighting on the Pony side of the many wars we fight, no other race in Equestria would dare to challenge us. I personally couldn't believe this side of the Princess. It's unnerving. Like the kindhearted and loving leader I once knew had shown her true colours" >To be honest, you're not surprised. No one rules for over a thousand years without having some kind of trick. It seems that the Hyper-aggressive alien is Celestia's new ace-in-the-hole >"She says it's all for the good of the kingdom. And to preserve Ponykind. I'm not sure I believe her." >Shake your head >Celestia is a tactician. She will abuse anything she has in her power to make sure that her kingdom stays safe. Lord knows Humanity once did. >You hear the door slam downstairs and Twilight call out your name >"Anon! We're back!" >You shut the journal and place it back under TWilight's bed >Walk out of her bedroom >Rarity stands there looking confused >She sees you and your nakedness, and her eyes widen >"Oh my. Hello, Anonymous! I'm here to ahh, make you some clothes." >You walk over to them and stretch out your arms while Rarity takes measurements >Twilight watches you, smiling >You give her a stoic look, suddenly her bright eyes seem a lot more calculating. And a lot less warm >Rarity lets out a satisfied breath >"There we are, darling! All done! I'll go and make you some clothes right now. Just stay here." >She trots out the door and closes it behind her with magic, Spike eagerly following her and asking to help >That leaves you in the room >With Twilight >"So, Anon!" >Turn to her Yes? >"What do you, uuhh, think of ponies?" >Narrow you eyes >She's testing you, to see if you're ready What do you mean? >"Oh you know. Ponies in general. Do you like us?" >Lets get this out of the way Do you want to know what I honestly think of ponies? >She nods enthusiasticly >You take a deep breath I think that you are the most devious race of creatures I've ever met. It's clear to me that you don't use brute force to solve your problems like my race does, instead you travel the darker path. Using trickery and fake smiles to accomplish your goals. >Twilight's smile fades, and her face is replaced with a look of worry I think that underneath the brightly coloured, happy looking exterior, there beats the heart of a patient hunter. Using everything to your advantage, even relying on other creatures to accomplish your goals. I think that deep down you aren't innocent, diplomatic creatures, preaching love and peace, and instead you're just waiting for the right time to elimate the other players from the board in a swift, calculated move >Her mouth is hanging open And finally, I am absolutely amazed at how well you hide it. Like your entire species has inherited this innate ability to lie and manipulate those around you, bending them to your will and making you seem like the good guys >Twilight stammers >"B-but... But..." No, Twilight. Don't. >You crouch down and look her in the eye >She moves her head back slightly, and you suddenly realise just how intimidating you must seem to them >Cowardly, weak, manipulative creatures, they are. >You tower over them, over twice as tall >You are even taller than Celestia, and far stronger in terms of muscular strength >You must seem like a demon to them. A terrifying monster from beyond dark space, come to their world to eat foals and wrestle dragons for fun >Truth is, you're just as scared of them as they are of you. >Primitive creatures. Hardly any grasp on science, and a basic understanding of the world around them. Relying on magic and gods to answer their questions >And yet they are absolutely terrifying. >You just want a quiet life. One to life out on a distant world far from home. Free of the oppressive Human government, and the propaganda they force down your throat to justify obiliterating a fledgling empire of a young spacefaring species >They sent a peace-envoy >Humanity made their sun go supernova >Yet for all your power, everything your species has accomplished. From faster than light travel to biological enhancements that allow you to dispatch Manticores with ease, you still find yourself scared of the unknown >And this world is everything you fear >Alien life. Strange customs. Annoying yellow pegasi, and secretly corrupt leaders trying to coax you into fighting the wars they're to scared to wage themselves >It's disgusting >Twilight trembles, she probably thinks that you're going to kill her. It would be so easy. Magic doesn't affect you very well. The best she could do is push you back slightly. >It took Celestia and Luna together to heal you, apparently I'm not going to hurt you, Twilight. >She calms, slighly. I just want to know why you've kept your journal a secret from me >She gasps, and hangs her head in shame >"You... Read it." Yeah, I did. >"I'm sorry, Anon! I thought that if you didn't know what was going on, you'd feel better!" I'm Human. It's in my nature to want to know what's going on. >"Are... You mad?" >You sigh and close your eyes >Then you open them after a few seconds No... I suppose I would have done the same >You smile, and Twilight lets out a small giggle >"So umm... You're not going to go on a rampage and kill everyp0ny" They only pony I want to kill is you, for keep it a secret from me >She squeals in fear as you grab her >Then she squirms and giggles with laughter as you tickle her relentlessly >Eventually you let her go and she lies on the floor, panting >Such a frail creature >Despite the secrets, lies, and government plans for you, you couldn't help but like these ponies. >Stupid, primitive, fearful creatures, they are. >Just like the early humans. You feel a sort of kinship towards them. So different, yet so similar. >Twilight, despite her methods and motives, has shown you kindness and hospitality during your time here. And you're thankful for that >Twilight gazes up at you >You loom her over, and growl, making claws with your hands in an exaggerated fashion then waving them around >She giggles again >"Do you... Want to go out to lunch, Anon?" >Smile >Genuinely Yes, I'd like that very much. As long as you don't write any journal entries about how much I scare you when I eat a sandwich >You both laugh and walk out the door >"Just promise me one thing, Anon" Shoot. >"Stop punching Fluttershy" I promise nothing. >You like Twilight. >Hell you like most ponies, other than Fluttershy >They scare the hell out of you, but you like them >It's all secrets and lies with these ponies. >Everything they do is probably done to get you on their side >Every action you do is secretly documented >Every thing you say is written down and decoded >Every emotion you show is used against you later on >But you can live with that >Look down at Twilight, who's trotting along happily >Realise that you're still naked, with a towel around your neck >Chuckle >She looks up at you and smiles >"What's so funny?" Nothing, Twilight. >And you wouldn't mind protecting them Nothing at all. The End