>be you, Anon McAnonson
>you were accidentally teleported across time and space and ended up in Equestria
>you've been here for a few months now and made some good friends
>chief among them is Princess Celestia herself, who loved your casual behavior and took to having you around just to piss off the nobility
>one day, "Celly" calls you into her chambers
>she tells you about the birds and the bees
>you tell her you know this shit already. You dumb?
>she laughs at her flippant attitude and skips to the point
>her estrus is coming up and she wants to fuck
>however, she makes a point of informing you that in the heat of... heat... she loses all self-control
>while she promises you the best fuck of your life, she can't guarantee your safety
>after all, The Royal Plot has broken the pelvises of lesser stallions
>it's even killed a few
>she considers this a point of pride, but wanted you to have all the facts
>what do you do?
>do you accept the risks, or do you turn dat ass down? 
> Think to self in contemplation
> "Anon it's fine if you do-"
> Push finger tip to Sun gods mouth, "shushshshshshshsh".
> Place hand on other side of face
> "No time for words my sweet"
> Double back flip away and sprint down hallway
> Running faster then rarity from cheto incrusted filly fiddlers fingers
> Find royal smith
> "Oh hey there anonh what can I d-UghF!"
> Knocked out smith with fist
> Begin construction
> Spend hours hammering away at steel and bronze metals
> The smith wakes up several times
> Ask him a question regarding metal works
> Knock him out with hammer again and continue hammering.
> Power of Thor flowing through your vaines as the shape of your tool begins to take shape.
> Finally spend the next hour fitting it and polishing the golden imbued codpiece of fantastic designee.
> Holding it aloft, you inspect it, Finding it worthy of a single word of praise
> "Grovy".
> Spring back to celestial in the middle of meeting with foreign leaders.
> Take off cloths mid stride into the royal meeting room
> Slide onto the table and use royal spaghetti to grease self into the cod piece. Standing in front of celsita as a single beam of light hits your jowl incrusted junk protector anti bashing ball protector.
> Shock and all as all around look at the strange harry naked thing with a huge metal cock shining in the light
> "Hail to the king baby."