Originally uploaded to Pastebin: March 8th, 2013
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>Day Anarchy in Equestria
>You are Anon
>Freedom Fighter
>It's midnight, and you sprint down the streets of Canterlot, panting and looking over your shoulder, checking for anyone who might have followed
>Reach an old black door, it's paint is peeling in places
>Knock 3 times, then twice more after 5 seconds
>The sound of bolts being pulled back and locks being undone can be heard from the other side
>The door creaks open
>You slip inside and shut it behind you, doing up all the locks and sighing
>It was a close call out there, you were sure that someone would have caught you
>Walk down a winding corridor until you reach a dark room, lit by a single candle in the middle of a table
>A few figures are sat around it
>Take a seat and rest your hands on the table
>"Anonymous... I see that you've returned."
Yes, Mistress. The deed is done.
>"Good... Good... We're one step closer to bringing this whole fucking system crashing down on itself."
>You grin
>Mistress was always the toughest one. It was her vision that brought together the best and brightest minds in the land to topple the Celestial Diarchy.
>She leans forwards and smiles at you, her face lit up by the candlelight
>"Now, it's time that we started the next phase of our plan."
>The other figures shift nervously, but not you, you stay leant forwards, your eyes fixated on the leader
>"Brothers, sisters. We're going to attach a dick to the statue of Celestia in the middle of town."
>You should have mentioned something
>Your comrades, as well as the mistress, are all morons.

Lyra, are you fucking serious.
>"Well yeah!"
>Lyra scrunches up her face and glares at you
>"Have you got a better idea, monkey man?"
I dunno. Cut the head off it? Put up posters inciting rebellion amongst the citizens? Assassinate a key political figure?
>Lyra seems shocked
>"Anon!"
>She glares at you even harder
>"That's a stupid idea."
You're an idiot.
>"Don't call me and idiot! ...Call me Mistress"
No. That's just as dumb as the shit I just got back from doing
>She grins
>"How did it go anyway?"
>You sigh
It went fine. Not like I was doing anything that terrible.
>Lyra frowns
>"Defacing public property with propaganda to rile up the denizens of Canterlot is very terrible! It's the most terrible thing ever!"
I spray painted "Celestia's a butt" on a shop window
>She cackles maniacally
>"YES! THAT'LL SHOW HER!"
Show her WHAT?
>"That she's a butt!"
>Lyra sits back and folds her forelegs, looking smug
>You give her a deadpan look
>Another 'council' member leans forward, Iron Flank.
>He's a old stallion. The oldest of the group by far. A dark brown coat and a grey mane, his beard neatly trimmed to a point.
>An old war veteran of the Pony/Griffon wars of days past
>His scars many, his experiences numberless, his knowledge unmatched
>He's an integral part of the group
>"Nya ghuduh fihn bider"
>He's also completely mad.
Someone please translate what he just said.
>Another pony leans forward, a stallion with glasses and a nervous disposition. Called Neville.
>"He thed that we have to think bigger."
>And also a massive lithp.
>Oh fuck now I'm doing it.
>You raise an eyebrow
How so?
>"Nyeahda bluurp caasuh."
>"He thed we need to blow up the Cathel"
>Grin
See? Now we're talking. How are we gonna do that, Iron Flank?
>"Ghudduh brahnwuuu rinhehh."
What.
>"He says we've got to brainwash the Princess"
What will that accomplish
>"Huhh flaah"
What.
>"Hot flank"
Oh. Well what will hot flank accomplish?
>"Huuh huh huhh..."
>Iron Flank starts slowly laughing, then goes quiet, falls asleep, and begins drooling on the table
>Lyra, who was sat watching this whole time, sighs
>"Look, brothers and sisters. Let’s just decide on a plan already. I'm getting hungry."
Okay, since Iron Flank is uhh-
>Look at the old stallion
>A puddle has formed around his head, which is resting on the table
-Occupied in thought. I think I have a decent plan
>The ponies lean forward
It's simple really
>Smile
We kill Celestia.
>All the ponies around the table begin to mutter
>A female pony, who had remained silent until now, leans forward into the candlelight and speaks
>"But how? And when? There are so many things to plan in an assassination!"
Not to worry, I've got it all planned out.
>"Anon, I'm sure it's a great plan, but this is Princess Celestia! She's been around for thousands of years! I don't think we'll be the first to try and make an attempt on her life."
>Fuck. You hadn't thought of that.
>She continues
>"Not to mention Alicorns get harder to kill the older they get. And Celestia is the oldest of all the Alicorns."
>Rub your chin thoughtfully
Magic won't work?
>"Nope. We'd need another Alicorn to do it. And I don't think Luna will be willing to kill her own sister after what happened last time."
Weapons?
>"Alicorn skin gets harder over time, some say it gets harder than a dragon's scales"
>You run a hand through your hair and whistle
Ok, maybe this wasn't the best plan.
>She smiles
>"It was a fine plan, Anon. One that we've all thought of though. We just need to think... Smaller."
I guess you're right. Good thinking, Quen.
>Lyra speaks up again
>"Ok, I've had a thought, what if we-"
>Just then a stallion dressed in black bursts through the door, panting heavily
>"MISTRESS! YOU'LL NEVER GUESS WHAT JUST HAPPENED!"
>Lyra is shocked
>"What, WHAT?!"
>"IT'S TWILIGHT SPARKLE."
>He gulps
>"SHE JUST BECAME AN ALICORN."
>Everyone in the room stares, dumbfounded at the stallion
>Neville speaks slowly
>"W-what did you jutht thay?"
>The stallion walks forward and over to the table, taking a seat
>He takes a moment to breathe
>"Twilight Sparkle... The Princess' favoured student. She just ascended to Alicornhood"
>Mutters all around
>Lyra shakes her head
>"That's impossible... When was the last time an Alicorn was created?"
>Quen answers her
>"Not long ago, Mistress. Princess Cadence proved herself worthy after demonstrating the perks of a born leader. She was granted Alicornhood just 25 years ago."
>Lyra nods slightly
>"Right... Right..."
>She slams her hoof on the table, causing everyone to jump
>"This is ridiculous! 2 Alicorns in 25 years?! What's Celestia playing at? Handing out godhood like it's nothing!"
>Iron Flank wakes up with a snort
>"Whaa Ahh mihhh"
>Neville translates for him
>"He says 'What did I miss'?
>Lyra huffs
>"Twilight Sparkle became an Alicorn, Iron Flank."
>Iron Flank snorts
>"Uuuh. Eeheh! Huzz ghudda khiiierr! Unnger Halihuurr ehzhuhher ta kuh."
>"He says 'Easy! Just gotta kill her. Younger Alicorns are... easier... to..."
>Neville stops, his eyes widening
>He looks straight at you
>Your face is sporting a massive grin
>Glance at Quen
>Her eyes are lit up and she's looking at Lyra, who is rubbing her hooves together and chuckling darkly.
>"Well, Brothers and Sisters... I think we all know what we have to do"
>She stands up on two legs, pointing at the ceiling
>"We are going to kill Twilight Sparkle!
>Twilight was set to arrive in Canterlot in 2 days, where she will be crowned a princess and her new life as an Alicorn will begin
>The Brotherhood of Pone descended into madness in those two days, battle plans and strategies being throw around like cheap whore
>"IT WON'T WORK, ANON! THERE ARE TOO MANY GUARDS!"
OH COME ON, WE CAN TAKE ON A REGIMENT OF ROYAL MAGI, HAVE SOME FAITH
>"WE'LL BE SLAUGHTERED!"
THERE'S ONLY 135 OF THEM, LYRA. WE CAN TAKE THEM
>You've had hardly any sleep planning for this day, but it all pays off, because eventually you all decide on a plan
>Sat around the table again you present the plan to the rest of the group
>Or at least, most of them. Iron Flank fell asleep the moment you opened your mouth
Twilight is going to arrive by train, presumably with the other elements of harmony.
On their own they'll be quite easy to bring down, as none of them are particularly dangerous, but Twilight isn't to be touched until all of her friends are taken care of.
>You motion to a map of the castle
She'll be staying in her old room near the library, no doubt. When everyone else is dealt with, we'll move in and take her down all at once.
>Neville raithith hith hand
>"How many of uth are there?"
At full strength, we have 15 agents, all will be present on the night and all of them will attack Sparkle at once.
>Quen nods slowly, then speaks
>"How do you propose we bring down Sparkle?"
Ah, now this is the tricky part. Even without her enhanced powers, Twilight was a magical prodigy. You've all seen what she's capable of.
>Everyone nods, Lyra's face remains expressionless and Iron Flank snorts in his sleep in response to what you said
So, we've ordered in some 'assistance'. 
>Iron Flank murmurs slightly
Exactly. Iron's connections to the army have landed us with some extremely rare and powerful null-magic horn rings.
>Everyone who's awake "oooohs"
>"And we slap one on Sparkle?"
Right. Once we get the ring on her, she'll be utterly useless against 15 of us.
>Your voice darkens
But make no mistake, my friends. Even if she's just ascended, Twilight is a force to be reckoned with. Her intellect is unmatched by her peers and this all rides on her being at the right place at the right time, and being alone.
>Everyone shuffles nervously
This is our only shot at killing a new-born Alicorn before she escapes our grasp and begins growing older. Books and old scrolls have shown that Alicorns gain in power exponentially over the first few weeks.
>Gulp
I wouldn't be surprised if her skin was impervious to an assassin's dagger next week.
>Your audience mutters
>Quen speaks up
>"What about the guards?"
That's where our other agents come in. They'll be more than capable of dealing with any guards.
>She nods 
So. Tonight's the night. We all know what we're doing. The target is on time according to our agents.
>Take a deep breath
This is it.
>As you all walk out of the building, there is silence amongst your comrades
>Neville eventually breakth the thilenth
>"What are we doing again?"
GOD FUCKING DAMMIT!
>"FUCKS SAKE, NEVILLE"
>"I hate you so much Neville"
>"Ahh ehh uhh hehhille"
>Neville lookth at the floor mitherably
>"Thorry... I jutht couldn't pay attenthion..."
We're going to kill Twilight Sparkle. Tonight.
>"Oh! W-won't we get in trouble?
Of course we're going to get in trouble. THAT'S THE POINT.
>"But why?"
We're going to raise hell, Neville! With Twilight Sparkle dead, all of Equestria will crumble into chaos!
>"Ok then. But what if we don't manage to do it?"
>Grimace
I dread to think. Just concentrate on killing Twilight, Neville.
>The streets of Canterlot are bustling with activity
>The night is young, and you missed the coronation because of planning
>You got all the important information from your scout though:
>"It was shit"
>Damn good scout, that one.
>You and your group drift through the crowds of celebrating and drunk ponies towards the castle
>Duck down an alley between a house and an inner citadel wall 
Ready?
>Quen nods
>"Ready"
>She pulls out a grapple and slings it over the wall, tugging on it to make sure that it's strong enough
>Harness your inner monkey and practically run up the wall, your comrades staring in awe
>Hell yeah. Ape origins.
>The other ponies climb the wall, more slowly
>As you help Iron Flank up, something catches your eye
>A nearby guard, who hadn't noticed you, is silenced and dragged into a bush.
>A pony dressed in black walks out, sees you, and nods
>Nod back and grin
>All is going according to plan
>The agent slips back into the darkness
>You and the group wait behind a wall and you check your watch
>3... 2... 1...
>Peer over
>Watch as 2 other agents dispatch the guards stood outside
>They barely make a noise
>Where the hell do you find these ponies?
>Sneak into the castle and creep along the corridors, making sure that everyone is behind you
>Quen is stood right behind you, wearing simple body armour and a black mask, like you
>Mistress Lyra is behind her, wearing a tricorn hat and a sword across her back
>You're not sure how she's going to use it, but you don't question her.
>Behind her stands Neville, wearing a helmet that's far too big for him and comes down over his eyes
>And behind that stands Iron Flank, wide awake and glaring back at you
>Dressed in stolen Luna Guard armour, with deep scars and burns all over it, he carries a trident as well as various other blades
>He twitches
>You don't want to be in his way when the fighting starts
>Turn back around and take step forward
>A voice behind you hisses
>"Stop!"
What?!
>"Iron Flank's asleep again"
>GOD DAMMIT.
>Turn around
>Sure enough, the old stallion is snoozing in his armour, his cheek rubbing against the points of his trident while he dreams old pony dreams
>He smacks his lips in his sleep
>"Huuh seluusiuhh fluuu..."
>"He thayth 'hot Thelethtia flank'
>Groan
Wake him up! We're wasting time here!
>Neville prodth the thtallion awake
>Iron Flank grunts and shakes his head, before nodding at you
>With little time to waste, you pick up the pace and head towards the first room
>Turn a corner
>A guard is patrolling outside the door
>Motion for the group to stay behind and whisper
I'll take care of him...
>Creep up behind him, readying your dagger
>The guard's back is facing you, and your heartbeat is increasing rapidly
>Lick your lips slowly and start raising the weapon
>Just as you're about to strike, he falls forwards and goes limp
>You blink a few times and lower the weapon a bit
>The guard's mouth is forced open from the inside, and a giant beetle dressed in beige uniform and cap crawls out, holding his own set of daggers
>He looks at you
>Stare back, slack jawed
>The beetle screams at you in his tiny voice
>"THE SOUTH SHALL RISE AGAIN!"
>And he scuttles into a hole in the wall
>Stand back up straight and rub your temples
>Turn around
>Motion for the group to follow you
>They all join you and look at the door
>Lyra speaks quietly
>"So, who's this?"
Let's find out...
>You push open the door slowly and poke your head through, staying as silent as you can
>A pink form lies on the bed, happily dreaming
>Slip through the door and over to the bed, preparing your dagger once again
>The pink pony's face is smiling in her sleep, her chest rising and falling in a steady rhythm
>You raise the dagger over her, preparing to stab her throat and kill her as quickly as you can
>Stare at the pony
>She looks so happy like that.
>So peaceful
>Stand there awkwardly, holding the dagger over her
>Lyra looks around the door and hisses at you
>"What's taking so long?!"
I c-can't kill her!
>"WHAT?!"
>7 minutes later you're all stood around Pinkie Pie's bed.
>Quen lets out an exasperated groan
>"I can't do it either!"
>She gives the dagger back to you
>Lyra's eye twitches and her mane is more messy than usual
>"WHY CAN'T WE KILL HER?!"
JUST SHUT UP AND LET ME THINK!
>Pinkie Pie kicks a rear leg in her sleep and sighs happily
>Everyone around the bed "awws" and then goes back to arguing
>"Just push the dagger into her body! It's not hard! It probably won't even hurt her!"
>"It's magic, I swear! She's some kind of earth pony/unicorn hybrid!"
>"Ahhh bleeehhum huuhh hoooohhz"
>"I bet she's an evil witch! Wait... Who are we talking about again?"
>You shrug
Hell if I know, Pinkie Pie.
>Pinkie Pie rubs her chin
>"Well this is a doozy!"
>You all stare at her
>She stares back
>Then grins
>"Hi! Wanna be friends?"
KILL IT!
>You all jump onto Pinkie Pie
>What follows in a clusterfuck of movements that only results in more anger
>Pinkie Pie effortlessly slides out of your grip like she was covered in oil, her body is like a sponge, and contorts in the most unlikely places
>None of you can hold her down since she seems to literally slip through your fingers
>Iron Flank is asleep on Pinkie's bed
>Neville is crying
>Quen is getting angrier by the second
>Lyra is shouting at you
>You are shouting at her
>Pinkie Pie is giggling like a maniac
OH I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF THIS!
>You punch Pinkie Pie straight in the face
>She goes out like a light
>Everyone stares at you
What?
>Quen gawps at you
>"How did you do that?"
>How DID you do that?
I... I don't know. Come on, let’s just get out of here. We've wasted enough time as it is.

>You sneak and slide and combat roll through the castle, avoiding guards and disguising yourselves as modern art masterpieces as guards walk past you
>You stop kissing Quen
Ok, I think he's gone
>Iron Flank puts down Neville and Lyra stops doing the "Thinking Man" pose
>You all move onto a door at the end of the corridor
Ok, here's the next room. Ready?
>They all nod
Not gonna have any trouble killing this one?
>They all shake their heads
We're actually going to do it this time?
>They all nod
>10 minutes later you're all crying outside the room
>Quen is clutching onto you and you're stroking her mane, consoling her
>"S-she just looked so peaceful!"
I know, Quen. I know.
>Lyra is sobbing and bashing her head against the wall, punctuating each bash with a word
>"Why. Is. A. Farmer. So. God. Damn. Cute."
>It's true, Applejack was just as adorable as Pinkie Pie. None of you could touch her so you agreed to just leave her alone and with her dreams.
>Fucking Applejack.
>Composing yourselves, you search through the castle for the next room
>A guard you were about to kill dropped dead before you could do anything
>His friend ran around the corner, screamed "HE ONLY HAD 4 DAYS TILL RETIREMENT!" then died of shock
>This night is strange.
>You all reach a door. By now you're all jaded to the ways of cuteness.
>You grimace and prepare to open the door
>Point at your crew
>They glare back, deadly serious looks on their faces
Remember, no cute shit.
>Push open the door and stroll up to the bed
>A white unicorn sleeps in it
>Rarity, no doubt.
>You shake her awake, too annoyed to be fucking around
>"Wh-whah?"
What did the fabric say to the needle?
>"I-I d-don't know?"
>Punch her in the face
>She crumples
Nothing. Fabric can't talk.
>Lyra pats you on the back
>"You did good, Anon." 
>Neville thpeakth up
>"Ithn't it a bit too convenient that both Pinkie and Rarity were knocked unconthiouth by punching them in the fayth?"
>You punch him in the face and sling him over your shoulder
>Quen stares at you
>Glare back at her
>Her tail lifts slightly
>Ignore her and walk out the door, carrying Neville.
>Your crew stroll through the castle, the guards all oddly missing
>You swear you saw black shapes moving around from time to time
>Good to know that SOME of you are doing their jobs
>If you might take a moment, you're feeling very disgruntled right now.
>Iron Flank just curls up and sleeps whenever he can
>Neville is bent around your neck like a bony scarf
>Quen keeps raising her tail whenever she looks at you
>And Lyra is quickly going insane.
>She's now talking to herself
>"Yes! I bought him on the stock markets from a handsome little filly called Georgia Springs!"
>Shake your head
>Fucking... Everyone.
>Turn a corner
>A single guard is stood outside the fourth room
>He sees you
>"HALT!"
>You don't halt. Instead you just fume and walk towards him faster
>"I'M WARNING YOU!"
>Grip Neville's tail
>When you're in dithtance, you uthe Neville ath a biological morningthtar and beat the guard into thubmithion, theveral thickening crackth echoing throughout the hallth
>The group catches up to you
>Neville hath the guardth blood all over him, but hith helmet protected him otherwithe.
>He'th gonna have thome theriouth whiplath onth thith ith all done
>Ignore Quen, who is now stroking your leg, and kick the door open
>The loud bang wakes up the blue pony with a yelp
>"W-what the hay? Who in the hoof are you?!"
SHUT UP AND FUCK YOU
>Overarm throw Neville by hith tail at her
>Hith helmet collideth with her head and thee goeth out like a light
>Grumble and walk over, grabbing Neville's tail again and dragging him out the room again along the floor
>You move along the corridors, dragging Neville along the floor the entire time
>Reach the fifth and final room before Twilight
>Uthe Neville to smash it open
>He might be dead by now, you're not sure.
>The yellow pony in the bed screams and huddles under her blanket, her teal eyes peering out at you from underneath it
>Growl and drag Neville over to her
>She emerges from the blanket and stares at you, her face overcome with curiosity
>"Oh! I've never seen a creature like you before! W-what's your name?"
Fuck you.
>"H-hello, Fuck you... I'm Fluttershy!"
Fuck. You.
>"What have you got there, mister? Is that a present for me?"
>She looks down at the broken looking Neville
>"I-is he alright?"
>Grunt
>"Oh, you s-seem cranky..."
>She blushes and flies up to your face
>"If you want... I can help you... Calm down..."
>She starts licking your face
>"All you need to do i-is ask..."
>You take a step back and prepare to give this mare the beating of a lifetime
>Before you can, though, Quen collides with Fluttershy
>The two of them start kicking and screaming along the floor
>"HE'S MY MAN YOU BITCH!"
>"H-HE'S MY TRUE LOVE! I CAN FEEL IT! GET OFF ME!"
>Watch as the pair of them hit the cupboard full of various oils and lubricants
>They shower all over the two mares, now glistening and sliding all over each other
>The grind against each other as they wrestle in the lube
>Sigh and wait for them to be done
>Neither seem to be winning
>Shrug and walk back out the door, Quen can handle herself
>Lyra and Iron Flank are all that's-
>Iron Flank falls asleep
>Fuck him. All you need is Mistress Lyra
>She's talking to her own hoof
>"Yeah! That's what I was thinking, too! Why do we have doorknobs if not for hands! Human hands! It all makes sense now!"
>You pick up Lyra and put her on your shoulder
>Carry her and drag Neville out the castle, and head towards the tower where Twilight Sparkle resides
>Pass a huge pile of guards
>A small team of agents are sat at the base of it, drinking soda and jamming to rap music
>At least they did their jobs
>Snap your fingers
Come on, we're going to kill Twilight now.
>They all nod and follow you
>Finally, something that actually works
>"No no no! Humans HAVE to have come first! Why else would we be using all their tools?"
>Approach the tower
>Stomp up the stairs, your ninja cohorts close behind
>With the strength of an angry god, you kick the door open so hard it's hinges break
>The Alicorn sleeping before you wakes up
>"What the... Who are you?"
YOUR RECKONING, DEMON.
>Hurl Neville at her
>She catches him in a magic field and sets him down
>He rests peacefully on her bed
>She frowns and looks back at you
>Lyra takes notice of Twilight
>"Haha, of course hoof of-"
>She goes silent
>Twilight cocks her head
>You crack your knuckles
>The agents ready their weapons and strike kung-fu poses
>Lyra jumps off your shoulder and draws her sword, holding it her hooves while stood on two legs
>"THIS ENDS HERE, ABOMINATION."
>Twilight looks around
>"Who, me? I'm just a-"
>"WARRIORS! ANNIHILATE HER FOR THE GLORY OF THE BROTHERHOOD!"
>The following minutes are filled with high-octane carnage
>Fires spreads everywhere, Twilight uses her faggot powers to raise an army of spectral pony warriors, who your agents gladly fight
>She also creates a minotaur, who you are now beating the fuck out of
>Your rage is unmatched, and you feel no pain or exhaustion as you pummel the beast into the stone floor
>Run over to Neville, who is waking up on Twilight's bed
>"Wh-where am I-"
>Punch him in the face and pick him up by his tail, jumping back into the fray to crack some ethereal skulls
>Lyra and Twilight, meanwhile, are fighting in the air above. 
>Twilight soars past Lyra using her wings, and fires bolts of magic at her while Lyra jumps pillar to pillar like a ninja, deflecting spells with her sword and letting loose war cries and motivational quotes every now and then
>"FIGHT ON, BROTHERS! VICTORY IS AT HAND!"
>She jumps forwards and swipes at Twilight with a hoof
>Twilight is too slow, and take the blow to the horn
>She shudders and drops out of the air, clutching her horn and groaning
>Lyra lands like a cat and stand back up
>Gawp at her
>She looks back
>"I didn't become the Mistress of this operation for nothing, Anonymous"
>That's fair enough.
>Twilight stands up, her legs shaking
>"OK, NOW I'M REALLY MAD!"
>She tries to cast a spell
>You notice that there's a large red ring on her horn, that pulses whenever magic passes through it
>Twilight squeals
>"NO! GET IT OFF!"
>She runs around while you and Lyra laugh
>The agents also laugh, since the spectral ponies and minotaur all faded when her magic was cut off.
Not so Mary Sue now, are you, Twilight?
>"SHUT UP! I'M THE MAIN CHARACTER! THIS ISN'T RIGHT!"
>You chuckle
Nice work, Mistress.
>Lyra isn't listening.
>Her hoof raised a good argument against the existence of humans
>Twilight then screams
>"NO! IT'S NOT FAIR! I BECAME A PRINCESS, AND I'LL STAY A PRINCESS!"
>Her tone of voice is now one of a spoilt child who didn't get what they want.
>She begins straining herself as hard as she can, the ring pulsing brighter and brighter
>A low hum fills the air
>Take a step back
Lyra?
>She isn't listening, her hoof argues that there would be remains of a past civilisation if humans were once in Equestria
>Twilight's eyes are glowing white, and the ring is starting to crack in places, the tower is violently shaking
>An agent cries out
>"She's too strong! The ring can't hold her back!"
My god. She's even more Mary Sue than we could have possibly imagined.
>At that moment the ring explodes, sending fragments everywhere
>And Twilight turns into a black undead dragon covered in purple runes and giving off black smoke
>”THIS ISN’T EVEN MY FINAL FORM, MORTALS”
>Oh.
>Okay then.

>The tower is obliterated as Twilight becomes the dragon
>You, the agents and Lyra are trapped on the top of the spire as the stairs crumble behind you
>The roof of the tower is torn off, making it a very tall platform
>Twilight is curled around it, roaring and breathing black fire into the now darkened skies of Equestria
>She's a bit mad.
>"I WILL RENDER YOU TO DUST, MORTAL! I AM MORE POWERFUL THAN YOU CAN POSSIBLY COMPREHEND!"
>You ready Neville
>"YOU CAN'T BE SERIOUS"
>Grit your teeth and motion for the agents to make ready
>They strike more cool poses
>"IF THAT IS WHAT YOU WISH, THEN YOU SHALL MEET YOUR DOOM!"
>You, a living weapon, the mentally unstable leader of a rebellion and 10 ninjas charge at the Ascended Alicorn Undead Dragon Princess as she calls forth a firestorm above the city of Canterlot.
>You really can't make this shit up.
>5 hours later
>You're sat back at the hideout
>Press an icepack against your head
>Iron Flank is snoring, his head on the table and still dressed in battle armour
>Neville is lying on his back in the middle of the table, his body covered in burns and bruises
>Lyra is stroking her hoof and mumbling to herself
>Quen is making lewd faces at you from across the table
Wow.
>Iron Flank snorts
>Neville groans
>Lyra twitches
>Quen licks her lips seductively.
That uhh. That got pretty crazy back then.
>Iron Flank smacks his lips
>Neville coughs up some blood
>Lyra hugs her hoof
>Quen starts playing with herself while looking straight at you
I mean, Dragons? Discord breaking free? Holy shit.
>Wince as you press the icepack against your head again
Did anyone else see me and Celestia fight? Anyone? That was just nuts.
>Quen groans and sprays juices all over you
>She sprayed about 1 meter and hit you right in the face, not bad.
Nice shot, Quen.
>"I love you"
It's just a good thing we had those guys. 
>Turn around
Cool job, by the way, guys. Much appreciated
>The ninjas are sat around a TV playing video games
>One of them holds up a hoof and waves backwards, not taking his eyes off the screen
>"No problem, man."
>Look back at the team
But you know what, I think it was worth it. At least Twilight's dead now.
>As you say that, the only remaining wall of the house crumbles
>Look around at the utterly devastated city of Canterlot
>Every single house and structure, including yours, was levelled.
>Press the icepack against your head again
Fucking Alicorns.

The End