> I leaned over the sink staring at my cheek.
> There was no hiding it
> I never considered myself pretty but whatever self esteem I held regarding my looks was shattered with a couple strokes of a pen.
> I should just go home and start working on a reversal spell
> There wasn't anything left for me here
> Heck, I’m not sure where I belong anymore 

> Rich Ponies 
> Pinkie prostituting herself
> Boob potions
> Milk drinking 
> rape

> When did everything get so strange?
> It feels like just a week ago we were singing songs about wrapping up winter and running through leaves.
> Now I'm being force fed milk as strange stallion form out of town tries to force himself onto me while one of my best friends admits to extorting bits from married ponies.
> I miss when things were simple 

> The door behind me creaked open 
>  I swung around and saw Derpy standing in the doorway with her head below her shoulders 
> “Twilight. I’m sad.” She sighed 
> I was defeated
> After all the challenges I've faced, how did avoiding Derpy end up being the worst mistake of my life?
> I didn’t like the mare but at the same time I felt like my neglect of her had blinded me from just how little other ponies in town thought of her.
> She isn't a bad pony 
> Just very, very irritating.

> I've tripped over my hooves when it came to applying my friendship lessons to Derpy and it seemed that the more I mistreated her the worse my life became.
> Despite my feelings towards her I needed to extend an olive branch to this mare.
> For Fluttershy, for Derpy and for my guilty conscience.
> I needed atonement from a mare who up until tonight I had thought so little of.
> I hope it's not too late.

“Come on in Derpy. Tell me What's wrong."
> She stood in the doorway like a sad puppy 
> “I think I’m in love…I’ve been having confusing thoughts and…and…"
> As she raised her head her voice trailed of and she squinted 
“Twilight! Somepony wrote on your face!”
> She sounded incredibly concerned aand stumbled towards me wearing only a cloth and saddle with jars of strapped around it. 

> Before I could even ask about the bizarre outfit she had her snout pressed into my face and 
> “Oh no! Twilight, We need to wash that off right away! You hate milk, Remember!?"
> How could I forget?
> I decided to humor her
> "Oh my gosh you're right! Can you help me wash it off?"

> Her face practically beamed with delight at the prospect. 
> "Of course! I can't have you trotting around looking like that!"
> She look down at her hooves and smiled from ear to ear
> "Oh! Look at that Twilight"
> She picked the bar of soap off the floor and held it above her head and cheered
“Soap!”
> My eyes widened as her hoof approached my face with the soap
“Derpy! Don’t you dare touch me with that!” I screamed 
> Startled, She jumped into the air and dropped the soap on the ground

> The two of us watched the it slide across the floor in silence
> I must look like an absolute maniac right now 
> Derpy hung her head 
> “Sorry Twilight…” She whimpered 
“I..I didn’t mean it like that. It's just…That soap is dirty."
> Derpy started to giggle 
> “Soap can’t be dirty silly! It’s soap!”
 “Oh come on! That is the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard!”
>...
> Patience Twilight. Be calm. Don’t lose your composure.
> She trotted across the room wagging her tail merrily in pursuit of the dirty soap sliding across the floor 
> I opened the cabinet and grabbed a bar of soap still in it’s packaging
“Lets just use a fresh bar of soap.” I suggested 
> She spun around and nodded happily and made her way back towards me
> When she walked towards me the floor beneath her hooves would crackle with each step
> It sounded like a pony violently ripping two pieces of velcro apart.

> “Why is the floor so sticky in here?"
“I have no idea.” I lied
> “It’s like some pony spilt jam in here.”
“Was it you? Did you bring jam in here and spill it?”
> She stopped in her tracks and gave me a worried look
>”No…It wasn’t me….I swear.”
> She looked so unsure of wether she did it or not despite obviously not having anything to do with why the floor was sticky
> The floor was covered in dried milk and cum that stuck to your hooves when you walked over it.
> I didn’t want to tell her that so I rolled my eyes and laughed
 “Obviously not. Who brings jam in the washroom?”


> With a smile she shrugged in agreement and made her way next to me by the sink.
> She flipped on the water and opened the soap while humming to herself with a big simile
> She explored the drawers of the cabinet until she found a facecloth
 > With the soap and cloth in hoof she submerged the two under the steaming water.

> Finally, she turned to me and spoke in a very serious tone
> “Now hold still. This is a very delicate operation.”
“Derpy, it’s just marker.” 
> “Shhhh….Let me help you. You’re in good hooves.”
> She gently dabbed the cloth under my eye and taking this very seriously 
> Then she began to giggle like a school filly
 “Whats so funny?”
> “I promise I’ll drink milk?”
“It’s a long story.”

> She paused and locked her eye with me
> “You can drink my milk if you like.” She replied with complete sincerity 
 “No thanks Derpy.”
>She started to hum again while she wiped my cheek very tenderly 
> Derpy would probably be a great babysitter or one of those care mares at the hospital 

> With her spirits high I attempted to make amends with my nagging conscious.
“I’m sorry I didn’t take you with me.” I spoke with equal sincerity 
> “You don’t need to be sorry, It’s nice you went with Cloudchaser. I think she needs friends.”
“Maybe you're right…But she isn’t a very nice pony.”
> She paused for a moment and stared distantly
> Her smile faded and her tone was somber
> “No…She isn’t a nice pony at all.”

> She placed the face cloth under the sink again and applied more soap
> I sighed 
> How did we both end up here? Everything that happened tonight was my fault.
> How am I supposed to write about friendship when I'm such an awful friend to the ponies that need me the most?

“I don’t think I’m going to get a friendship letter out of this party.” I chuckled trying to lighten the mood.
> “Maybe you can tell Celestia that just because your best friend has other plans, doesn’t mean that she isn’t still your friend.”
"Sure Derpy, That sounds nice.”

> She was a very sweet mare
> We had never shared a moment like this with her before
> The room was quiet and I could feel intimacy between us
> Not romantic intimacy just her warm caring presence as she tried fruitlessly to scrub the curse from my face.
> I didn’t deserve her kindness.

> As she dabbed my face with the warm cloth slightly harder clearly getting frustrated.
> Meanwhile my eyes were drawn to her forehead.
 > The sleeve of a bloody bandage hung beneath her mane across her forehead
“What happened? Did you get hurt?"

> Derpy jumped and in her shock slid the cloth down face
> Her eyes were bulbous and frightened 
> “Oh! nothing…I just hit my head….delivering mail."
“Hit it on what?”
> “Ummm…A table.”

"A table?"
> My mind started to race
> Images of Cloudchasers Motel room flashed in my mind
> A trashy room covered in bottles and dirt with a tattered mattress resting atop a flimsy bed frame.
> Next to the bed was an end table covered in blood
> “That bitch!” snarled  stomping my hoofs 

> Derpy looked confused by my sudden outburst
> But I understood everything 
> If she thought she could hide ANYTHING from me, she had another thing coming.

“Cloudchaser did that to you, didn't she!? I saw blood in her room!”
Derpy waved her hooves in the air manically “Twilight shhh! She’ll hear you!”
> “I don’t care what she thinks. Come here.”
> I grabbed her hoof and pulled her close
> With my magic I began unraveling the gauze.

> The fabric was saturated in dried blood causing the wrap to cling to her head
> Slowly and steadily I unwrapped the long bandage an inch at a time
> “Ouchy!”
“Sorry. I’m trying my best to be gentle.”

> When I finally removed it I saw a large bloody gash in the side of her head
> Fresh blood, and puss oozed from the contaminated puncture which was dribbling a mixture of unnatural colours just above her ear.
> It was beyond gross.

“Oh Derpy....This is serious.”
“It doesn’t hurt!” She cried trying to slip from my grasp
> but her protests were futile. I pulled her back and examined the injury closer
“Derpy, it’s infected! What did you use to sanitize this?”

> “Umm..Cider.”
> I felt like snapping at her for being so foolish but all I could muster was shock and disappointment
“Oh for crying out loud you really are hopeless.”
> “It’s fine really!”
> She tried to turn away again but I grabbed her wing and pulled her back
“Derpy, I can fix this. Trust me.”

> I closed my eyes and focused all of my energy on a healing spell, repeating the charm over and over in my mind
> I felt the magic consume my horn as I leaned close to her injury
“Now don’t move.”
> Magic expelled from my horn and I waved my head over her injury back and forth
> After a few moments the spell was complete and when I opened my eyes the damage was gone as if never happened 
> Derpy anxiously prodded at her skull and when she realized that there was no more pain her eyes shot open and she stared at herself in the mirror.

> “Wow! Twilight you're amazing!” She cheered while hugging me tightly 
“Oh it’s nothing! Flesh wounds are easy to heal…Magic kindergarten stuff really.”
>”Twilight. You’re the best pony I've ever met..”
> Oh no
“What about Fluttershy?”
> Derpys grip loosened but she continued to cling around my neck
> “I like Fluttershy a lot…But sometimes she treats me like a filly."
“Do you think that she might do that because she cares about you?”
> “I guess…But I still don’t like it.” She grumbled

“She told me you two got into a fight. Do you want to talk about it?”
> “Yes…But I don’t even know where to start.”
“That's okay. We have all night.” I replied brushing her mane with my hoof
> Derpy smiled and exhaled deeply before her expression turned melancholy
> “Twilight...Do you ever get scared?”
> She really was taking "We have all night" literally.

“Of course I do. What's bothering you?”
> “I’m scared of a lot of things…But mostly I’m scared that…I’ve started to have…Feelings for Fluttershy…Feelings I’ve never had before.”
 “That's really sweet. You should talk to her about it.”
> “But I don’t want to make things weird…..Being friends forever sounds fun…Until you get older and being just friends doesn’t feel like enough...I’m attracted to her…Mostly her breasts”
> Luckily her eyes were glued to the floor because I couldn’t help but roll my eyes
> “I’ve never been intimate with another pony and don’t want to tell her how I feel because what if it ruins our friendship....I wish things could just stay the way they are…The way they were….I don’t want things to change…But I don’t want to be alone either!"

> “There, there. It’s okay.”
> “I…I…I don’t wanna be Derpy Hooves anymore…I wanna be somepony different!”
> She was starting to hyperventilate.
> I rubbed the back of her ear to calm her down.
> “It’s okay. I think I know what you mean.”
> “Y..You do?”
“I do. Love is a beautiful, frightening thing. The hard part is admitting to yourself how you feel...And sometimes it's even harder to share that love with the pony you care about most.”
> “Maybe you’re right…You’re always right.”
“I wouldn’t go that far. Ninety nine percent of the time I'm right." 

> She Looked back up at me with her shimmering eyes and giggled
> I tried not to laugh along with her
> Maybe my mind had finally snapped but after all the days absurdity I was enjoying her company and I found her laughter contagious
> "What's so funny?" I asked between giggles
“It's just that…It's really nice...Being here with you.”
> She started to scratch my ear in return and giggled 
> “Scritch, scritch, scritch”
> I had a bit of a chuckle 
> She’s such a silly pony.

> She seemed so happy
> I didn't want to ruin the moment but at the same time I knew the guilt would eat away at me if I held my tongue
“Derpy…I’m sorry. I really am.”
> “Sorry about what?”
“Everything! I haven't been treating you fairly. I should have gone to the party with you instead of Cloudchaser. I lied about having a date…I lied because I didn’t want to go with you.”
>She pulled her hoof away and sadly sighed
> “Oh…I understand.”

> "Derpy, You're a very kind pony and I'm lucky to have a friend like you in my life I'm sorry I lied....If you're willing to forgive me I would love to be your date to the party."
> She hugged me tightly and I could feel her breasts pulsating over my chest
> “Of course I forgive you! That's what friends do!”
> I felt the weight of my guilt slip away 
> I was forgiven and my conscious was cleared

> I grabbed her shoulders and gently pushed her from the hug
“I want you to promise me something .”

> She nodded enthusiastic
“I want you to forgive Fluttershy and tell her how you feel. I don’t think You’ll find another friend as thoughtful as her. She’s a good pony just like you.”
> I poked her nose and she sneezed then nodded excitedly.
 >She grabbed my hoof and pulled me across the room
> When we reached the doorway she stopped abruptly 
> "Wait! What about your face? I didn't finish cleaning it."

"I'll wash it when I get home. It'll be our little inside joke."
> Derpy bounced up and down like filly on a sugar rush then yanked my leg as hard as she could out with a silly smile strewn across her face.

> She skipped down the hall with me trailing behind her as her wings flickered feverishly 
> “Come on Twiliy! Let's go find Fluttershy! I’m going to tell her I love her and she’s going to sit on my face!”
“I…Ummm…Okay?”
> I give up trying to understand the ponies in this town