“You know you should really get out more” said Stacy as she turned another corner in her egregiously expensive car, the afternoon sun now streaming through the rear window. “You won’t meet any cute guys if you keep spending your evenings watching cartoons.”

“Spirit is a feature-length animated film!” you interject, clichély sliding your round glasses up your freckled nose before begrudgingly acknowledging her point. “Ugh, I know Stace. But fat load of good it’d do at this late stage.”

“Well there’s always next year you know! This could be your year!”

“Yeah right.”

“You give yourself too little credit Becky.”

The car slowed to a stop.

“Thanks for the lift Stace.”

“You are absolutely welcome, and have a happy valentines day!” she said with a genuine smile.

“Thanks, you too, enjoy your dinner with Chad. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

She says she will and the car door shuts, cutting off the end of Stacy’s elongated “Byeeeeee!” before she drives away. You stand there for a moment before heading inside. On the way in, you check the mailbox to find that someone has left you a gift adorned with a little red paper heart with the words “Happy Valentine’s Day” written in black ink. Your heart beats faster than it ever has in your entire life as your face turns bright red. It’s a little plush version of your My Little Pony OC, Autumn, a tan earth pony with a black mane and tail.

Your eyes dart around the street looking for who could’ve left such a personal and thoughtful gift but of course there was no one in sight. You excitedly clamber in the front door of your home and leap excitedly onto your horse-themed bed sheets to examine your gift in detail. You must’ve lain on your arm or something because it feels totally numb but that concern is currently on the bottom of the list of things your brain is absolutely buried in at this moment.

Harry from the office? Your parents? Stacy? A prank! OF COURSE. This had to be a joke. What kind of idiot confesses their love on Valentine’s day but doesn’t intend on coming to collect their winnings?! Ugh, what a complete FOOL you’ve been. You got completely swept up in the moment. You throw your glasses on your nightstand and the plushie into the wall before bawling your eyes into your pillow.

Did you really think for a moment that a guy could love you? You’re fat, ugly and halfway blind! Not to mention painfully obsessed with horses. Guys know about crazy horse girls and they know to steer clear. You really are a narcissistic piece of shit for thinking for even a moment that you deserve to be loved. What have you done to deserve love? Get a personality freak.

You flay yourself with harsh words as two wet spots from either eye form on your pillow. Eventually you can cry no more and the only thing you have the energy left to do is sleep and so you do.

Your dreams are adrift in the songs of ponies. They’re calling to you.