[crystal logs: Rainbow Dash] The bluish-purple crystal began to glow. A monochrome image of a confused-looking Pegasus appeared on the crystal. She was slim and athletic-looking, with an artfully-messy mane that looked to have several stripes of color. The Pegasus muttered in a slightly-raspy voice, “I hope I’m doing this right.” “Twilight says we need to record our thoughts for posterity.”, she shrugged, “I don’t know why that old stallion working at the Canterlot archives would want that, but whatever.” “I didn’t want to use these things, because I didn’t have anything to say. Now I do, and I’m mad. You know what I’m mad about? It’s those humans! They’re everywhere!” “Every unattached mare I knew has one now – and they’re the worst! It’s like they know what they should do - and they don’t do it - because they know they’ll get away with it - because they’re stallions, and they know what not to do - and they do it anyway – because they know they’ll get away with it – because they’re stallions!” “They’ll touch you. They’ll mess with your mane. They’ll poke you in the nose – and laugh about it! And everypony is just ‘Aww, don’t yell at them, they don’t know any better.’ - but they do!” The Pegasus covered her eyes with her hooves and groaned at the ceiling, “And they steal stuff!”, she drops her hooves and gets close to the crystal, close enough that you could make out individual hairs and whiskers, “Not just small stuff. I saw one pick up a FOAL and walk off with it! ‘Oops, I guess that wasn’t mine.’ - that’s what he said – that’s what he said when I caught him, the same thing he said when I caught him stealing a muffin from Sugarcube Corner!” She backed up to a more reasonable distance, “And some are just messed up. You know,”, she tapped the side of her head with a hoof, “hailstones in the cumulonimbus.” “Last week I had to chase one away from Fluttershy’s place. He gave her bear some kind of potion that made him all loopy. We found Harry hogtied behind Fluttershy’s cottage and the human was there. The human was naked. You know that humans only take off their clothes to – you know.”, she cringed visibly, “I hope we got there before he could do anything.” The Pegasus straightened up, smoothing back her mane that immediately flopped into its usual slightly-messy shape, “That’s why Twilight needs to round them all up and throw them right back into that portal that they came through-”, she paused at the sound of knuckles on wood, looking away to the noise and back to the crystal, “-except for mine. He’s cool.” A voice from out of view said something indistinct. The Pegasus laughed, “You don’t have to ask, you live here, too!” She moved to the side, her back quarter all that could be seen, emblazoned with a cutie mark of a bolt of lightning escaping a cloud, and the picture froze.