PROMPT:

Why is Luna so excited about checking the mail? Is she secretly hoping Celestia will take mail from the wrong box so they can see what prison is like? 
>"Prithee, sister mine, We have not yet experienced committing a federal offense!" 
>Equestria fell apart because they kept committing more and more heinous acts while Twilight kept pardoning them 

>Twilight rubs her temples with her hooves as she scans through multiple reports of "underwear theft"
>All of them, noble and peasant stallions alike, are angry and afraid of a bunch of mares going around breaking into their home doing who knows what
>Usually you'd assign Rainbow Dash and the Wonderbolts to handle this swiftly but something came up that made you change on how you'll approach these dastardly criminals
>There has been rumors going around that they'll strike a certain colt you're housing in your old town
>How can you call yourself a princess if you can't even protect the stallion of your dre- protection
>You adjust your oversized crown and gather your royal guards to visit Ponyville

>"So what do you think Sister?"
>Both of you look on to the large house recently built in Ponyville
>You were curious on what type of colt would build such a home of such size.
>But nonetheless you and Luna put on your ski masks and ready to sneak into the home to steal some ball bras
>You were greeted with a large couch, large fireplace, large working desk, large everything
>Cross your hooves the colt's has a large sumthin' sumthing youknowwhatamsaying perverted_grin.scroll
>No, such thoughts come later. Right now it's bra stealing time

>The two of you head upstairs to the owner's bedroom
>Opening the door reveals a modest room with a dresser, bed (about the same size as theirs), and a work table
>Luna heads for the dresser while you go to the bed
>Lying on to the bed, you were surprised how softer it was compared to yours back then
>Still, the large bed brought some memories before you and Luna retired
>You bury your snout into the pillow and take in the masculine scent
>"Sister! Come quick. I think I just found the fatherload!"
>Quickly sitting up, you look to Luna to find her pulling a drawer full socks
>All of different sizes and colors
>awshityeah.scroll
>You take a pair and wear it on your ears while Luna tucks one to her hair
>"Perhaps this be a whorehouse Sister?"
>"I don't think Scribble Scrolls would risk an angry stallion mob if she's willing put an establishment on Ponyville."
>You use your magic to pull a pair of extra long black socks
>These type of socks are usually reserved for more risque stallions
>The more you venture into this place the more you're intrigue of who owns it
>You hear the door behind you open and find yourself getting hit at the side of your head
>"Sister!"
>Luna prepares her magic only to find the assailant tackle her to the ground
>You try to gather your bearings
>What hit you to knock you off like that?
>You turn to the assailant, getting the sight a bipedal creature getting up from your sister who was on the floor
>Your rage and magic turned up to eleven
>Binding the creature with your magic, but it only slowed him down
>It pins you to the ground snarling at you like a beast-
>*boing*
>wohisthatcock
>*BAM*
>Your vision turns black as you hear a male voice reach your ears
>"Goddamn tax mares trying to steal my clothes."