Originally uploaded to Pastebin: June 22nd, 2014 --- It happened again. --- >"All I'm saying is that this might be a really fun idea!" "Twilight, your idea of 'fun' is tying me up and trying to tear out my chest cavity." >"Yeah!" "...That's not fun." >"Of course it is! You just need to apply yourself to the experiment more, now shush." >She turns to Fluttershy. >"So, ready?" >"Umm--" >"Excellent!" >You and Fluttershy scooch closer to each other. >Whisper to her whilst Twilight's back is turned. "I'm scared." >"M-Me too." >Twilight spins back around with a black book floating in her magic. >"Okay, now this spell should be fine as long as you--" >Her horn erupts and two blood red bolts of lightning slam into you and Fluttershy. >Your entire body loses its skin, then muscle, then bone, until there's nothing left but a large amount of blood where you were standing. >Fluttershy just explodes violently, sending flesh, fur and sinew everywhere. >Twilight blinks and slowly wipes her friends off her face. >"...Oh. Crap." "Uuugh..." >Rub your head and slowly come to. "Where in the hell..." >"Exactly!" >You wipe your eyes and sit up. >A small red pony with horns and a thin whip-tail tipped with a barb smiles at you. "Oh shit." >Look around at the dark red rock surrounding you. >A shape next to you stirs. "Fluttershy. Fluttershy wake up we have a serious problem." >"N-no, Anon... I can't get pregnant... Shoot it inside me..." >The pony before you makes a tiger noise. >"Oh my. Didn't interrupt anything, I hope." "Trust me, you didn't." >Slap Fluttershy awake. "Wake up. Things got serious." >She gets to her hooves and looks around. >"This isn't the library." "No shit." >Point at the red pony. >Fluttershy takes one look at her and screams. >"ANON! W-WE'RE--" >"Greetings! My name is Crimson Shard!" "Oh god that's so edgy." >"Welcome to pony hell!" "FUCK." >Fluttershy faints. >Grab her and throttle her until she wakes up. "Oh no you don't, you're not leaving me to fend for myself down here." >"B-but we're dead! We're in hell, Anon!" "I CAN SEE THAT, DIPSHIT." >She starts crying. "We need to get out of here!" >Crimson Shard snorts. >"Don't be stupid, there's no escape from this place!" "Like hell there isn't." >"...Well yeah, that's what I said." "Fuckin-- Look, where's the exit?" >"There is no exit." "Then how do we get out?" >"What part of 'you died and went to hell' do you not understand, human?" "The death part, and also the 'no escape' part." >She groans and pulls out a piece of paper. >As well as some reading glasses. >Made of bone. >"According to this contract, you both signed an agreement with the devil so that in the event of your death you are enslaved to his unholiness." "What the fuck, what kind of contract is that?" >"The kind that's legally binding. If you start anything we're taking your ass to court." "That supposed to scare me?" >"Hell court." "Can't be that bad." >"If you lose the case you get sent to super hell." "Super--" >"A place populated only by you. And also you have this itch that seems to move every time you go to scratch it." "YOU'RE SICK." >"I am! I wasn't even supposed to come into work today! Anyway, I'm here to take you to the devil." "Woah woah, hold on a second; I don't remember signing any contracts." >Fluttershy shuffles slightly. >... >Turn your head to look at her. "Fluttershy." >"W-well..." "WOO!" >"THIS PARTY'S GETTING CRAZY!" >Laugh and knock back another beer with your new friend. "So, man, I've never seen you in town before! What's your name?!" >"Eh, names aren't important, hey, you look like you might be able to write with those hands!" "Duh, I totally went to school!" >"Great! Mind signing this? It's an autograph book of mine..." "Sure thing! HEY FLUTTERSHY, COME HERE AND SIGN THIS BOOK OF SIGNATURES 'N SHIT." >Your friend smiles, showing his pearly white fangs. >He stretches his bat-wings and sips some more beer. >"Ooh~ the more the merrier..." "WE BOTH SIGNED AND AGREEMENT WITH THE DEVIL AND YOU DIDN'T FUCKING THINK TO STOP ME?!" >"YOU WERE DRUNK!" "WERE -YOU-?!" >"YES!" "YOU DON'T EVEN DRINK!" >"I WAS DOING IT TO SEE IF IT WAS YOUR FETISH!" >"Woah, you'll fit in well down here, Fluttershy!" >"SHUT THE HECK UP, CRIMSON SHARD!" >"S'all good, baby, you can swear down here." >"EAT A P-Penis..." >"You're adorable." >Fluttershy glares at Crimson. >Crimson licks her teeth and looks towards you. >Unwrap your hands from around Fluttershy's neck and drop her onto the stone floor. "So that's it then. We're trapped in hell and about to be tortured for the rest our eternity." >"That's the spirit! Normally I have to tell ponies to abandon all hope before they do so!" >She laughs. >"Thanks for making my job easier, Anon. Come on, let's go get you settled in." >Crimson unfurls her bat wings and takes off. >You always knew that hell would be filled with batponies. >God damn flying rodents. >Following your 'guide', you look at the amazing sights and sounds of pony hell. >That is; lakes of fire, endless screaming and more batponies. >Watch as a stallion tries to eat a mango. >Before it touches his lips a bat swoops down and steals it. >"AAAUUUUGGGH!!" >Truly, this is the darkest place. >Your guide prattles on about this and that. >"So then I said 'Whaaat, you can't fit that entire poker in there!' and guess what, she totally did!" "I don't care." >"Me neither! That's why it was amazing to watch!" "What." >"Doesn't matter, we're here!" >You peer up at the gargantuan structure before you. "The hell is this?" >"This is where his unholiness lives." "You gonna give him a name or...?" >"Well he's actually called Meghan, but he doesn't like it when people call him that." "Makes sense, I guess." >Fluttershy has been quiet the whole time. >Look down at her as she walks next to you. "You alright?" >"We're in hell, Anon! I... I can't handle this!" "No, it's fine, I figured out a way to get out of here." >"But there's no exit!" "Then we'll make one." >"But--" "Shh, trust me." >You actually have no god damn idea how to get out of here. >Crimson shouts over her shoulder. >"You should totally trust him! You've got all of eternity down here with each other." >She laughs. >"Who knows, you might even get laid!" "Why did you go and say that..." >Glance back at Fluttershy. >She's grinning from ear to ear. >"Oh Anon! Isn't hell simply wonderful?" >A cadaver hits the floor next to her, spraying blood on her. >She doesn't seem to care. >Welp. Fluttershy's lost it. >You give yourself a day unless you can get out of here. >And you exactly how you're going to do it. >"Up here, please!" >Follow Crimson up some stairs. >You jog to catch up with her. "So uh, why aren't there more ponies down here?" >"Hm? Oh, that; yeah, getting ponies to sign contracts signing over their souls is a lot harder nowadays what with universal education reform and a higher rate of employment. Honestly, you two are the first clients we've had in months!" "Clients." >"Oh, sorry, 'morons who actually signed the contract'." >She winks at you. >Slap her. >The mare lets out a shocked gasp. >"I... I didn't know you were into that~" "What." >She strokes your face with the tip of her tail. >"Oooh, I'm gonna like you~" "Fuck's sake." >She keeps walking, but with more of a bounce to her step. >Her tail waves around a lot more as well. >Look down. >Fluttershy is trying to kill her with hate. "It's fine, Fluttershy, I'm not going to touch her." >"You'd better not..." >A long walk down a huge corridor lined with depictions of ponies suffering and getting their fruit taken from them ends with two massive obsidian doors. >Crimson Shard turns to you. >"Ready?" "I guess." >"N-no..." >Ignoring Fluttershy, Crimson knocks on the doors. >They swing open, revealing an elaborate throne room. >At the end, you see a figure lounging on a chair. >He seems shocked to see the doors open. >"Ah! Visitors!" >You follow Crimson to him, and stand at the foot of the throne steps, staring up at your new master. >He lets out a dark laugh. >"Ahh... Anonymous and Fluttershy. I was expecting you." >Crimson speaks up, a happy tone in her voice. >"Actually, sir, you've been sat around waiting for three months and kept practising what you were going to say to them in the bathroom mirror every morning!" >... >Snicker. >Meghan scrunches up his face and shoots a dirty look at Crimson. >"Yes. Well. Thank you, Crimson. You're dismissed." >"Woo! Lunch break!" >She turns to leave, but strokes your leg as she passes you. >"I'll see -you- later, hot stuff." "Don't call me that." >She lets out a laugh that sounds much like a "kekekeke" before leaving. >The throne room doors slam shut, leaving you and Fluttershy with Meghan: The Dark Lord of Hell. >He nervously taps his hooves together and gives you an uneasy smile. >"So uhh, you guys want any snacks? We've got fruit, crackers, grape juice..." >You get your drinks and food then sit down in the chairs provided. >That is, the chairs that just appeared in a burst of flame beside you. "You're not really what I expected from the devil." >"Well you're not a pony!" "...You're right. I'm not. Can I please go then?" >"No. You signed the contract, you have to serve your time!" "What if I say no?" >"We'll... Persuade you." "With what, "super hell"?" >He blinks. >"Super what now? No, we'll just keep pestering you until you cave." "That won't happ--" >He swipes the banana from your hands. "H-hey, I was eating that!" >"And now I am." >He stuffs the entire thing in his mouth. >Reach for an apple from the fruit bowl. >He steals that as well. >Fluttershy whimpers. >"Oh stop it, stop it! Can't you see what you're doing to him?!" >Meghan glares at you. >Glare back. >Defiantly take a mango. >He steals it before you can take a bite. "GOD DAMMIT JUST LET ME HAVE A TASTE." >"WELCOME TO HELL." "FUCK YOU." >He blushes. >... "No. No. We're not doing this." >"W-well, I mean, if you're offering..." "NO." >"The stallions down here aren't really into other dudes, but you seem cute, I guess." "FLUTTERSHY, GET ME OUT OF THIS." >Fluttershy stands between you and Meghan. >"He's -my- man!" >Meghan strokes his horns. >"Technically he's mine. He -did- sign the contract..." "I'm not doing this. I'll just take the poker up the ass and be done with it. Come on, Fluttershy, we're leaving." >"Wait, no, you can't leave!" "Yes I can." >Pick up Fluttershy and sling her over your shoulder, marching towards the exit of the throne room. >A flash of fire deposits Meghan in front of you. >"We can talk about this! Let's make another deal! -Please-!" "If you're this desperate to get laid, why not just transform yourself into a pony and get some that way?" >... >He transforms into Fluttershy. >... "Oooooh. Shit." >The real Fluttershy yelps at the sight of herself. >"O-oh my goodness, Anon! It's me!" "Yeah, I can see that." >Fake Fluttershy squeals. >"Oh my goodness, Anon, that brute is in your arms!" "Yeah, I know it's you, Meghan." >"Don't call me that..." "I'll call you whatever I damn well please." >The devil turns himself back into his regular old red-furred bat-winged horny self and pouts. >"Come on, I prepared the fruit bowl and juice myself! I was really looking forward to meeting you guys!" "How the hell do you even manage down here?" >He shrugs. >"I dunno. Magic." >Ugh. >Readjust Fluttershy in your arms and walk past him. >"Come oooon..." "No." >"Please?" "No." >Walk out the throne room with the lord of hell whining at you. >"C-can I at least see it?" "You're worse than Fluttershy, knock it off." >Fluttershy blushes. >"I-It's really big." >Meghan gasps. >"R-really? How big?" >"Like... -this- big." >"Woah." >"I know..." >Drop Fluttershy onto the stone floor and walk faster. >You'll probably just find a lake of fire and throw yourself in. >Seems better than putting up with these two for the rest of eternity. >"Anonymous, I have a proposition!" "I don't care." >"You will, though! I can get you out of here!" >Pause. >Slowly turn back around, arms folded. "Go on?" >Meghan shuffles nervously. >"Well, Hell isn't exactly, umm, sealed off... So uhh, I-I can get you out if you do something for me..." >Be Twilight Sparkle. "And they just exploded, officer. That's all I know!" >Nudge the book of forbidden spells under the table with a rear hoof. >Grin at them. >The cops look at each other. >"Well, Miss Sparkle, it's certainly a very interesting tale, but I think we'll have to take you in for further questioning--" >The fabric of reality is brutally torn asunder as Anonymous, Fluttershy, and two hell-bound ponies hurtle out of the void in a chariot made of bones, obliterating the two police ponies in front of you. >Anonymous looks bedraggled, and has white stuff in his hair. >Everyone in the carriage is cuddled up to him. >He shakes them off and gets out. >Stare slackjawed at him. >"Uhh. Hi." "...Hi." >He points at the door. >"I'll just umm, be going." >He steps over the shattered corpses of the police and heads for the door. >The two demons take flight and follow him, hugging him as he walks and sensually licking his face, much to his dismay. >Fluttershy catches your eye and smiles sheepishly. >Look around at the library, now coated in gore and playing host of the most horrifying creation you've ever laid eyes on. "Fluttershy." >"Yes, Twilight?" "...What just happened?" >"Oh. I-it was one hell of a journey!" >She beams at you, clearly proud of herself. "Shut up, Fluttershy." >"Okay..." The End.