Originally uploaded to Pastebin: November 25th, 2014
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This might be a sequel to something. Who knows, you'll have to figure out this mystery for yourself.


OoooOOOoooo
(Myyyysteeerriiieesss)
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>A heavy pounding on your front door wakes you up.
>With a sigh you push yourself up and out of bed.
>You unenthusiastically drag your feet downstairs and stare at the front door for a second before opening it.
>To your surprise, you see Cheerilee.
>"Good morning, Anonymous!"
>Turn your head slowly to look at the clock on your wall.
>It's 5:30am.
>Looking back at Cheerilee, her smile widens.
>"I'm back!"
"I noticed."
>...
"...From what, exactly?"
>She rolls her eyes and takes off the fedora she was wearing.
>"Pssh, hunting vampires, obviously."
>The mare pushes past you and trots towards your living room.
>She plants herself on your comfiest chair and unslings the crossbow from her back, setting it on the coffee table.
>You blink a few times.
"Well shit. What has it been, a year?"
>She nods, still beaming.
>"Yyyup! And now I'm back in town and I'm here to stay!"
>Stare at her.
"I'm gonna be honest, Cheerilee, I thought you were dead and had completely forgotten about the whole 'hunting vampires' thing."
>She sighs.
>"Yes, yes. But I'm back now and that's what matters, right?"
"Uhh..."
>"Oh! How are my darling students doing?"
"W-well..."
>"Did you substitute for them like I asked?"
"Yes and no."
>"So what's the problem?"
>You start sweating.

>Cheerilee stares in total horror at the school house.
>You scratch your balls and watch two birds fighting each other in a tree nearby.
>"B-but... You just..."
"You told me to cover for you."
>"Yes!"
"For one day."
>"B-- WhAT?!"
"You said 'cover for me Anon I'm so helpless and feminine' or something to that effect, so I looked after the students for a day. I expected you to be back, but when you didn't show up I gave up and hoped the problem would fix itself."
>She's giving a look that reminds you of someone choking on food.
"...And when I said 'looked after' the students - now my memory's hazy here so this might not have happened - I threw a book at a kid. Several, actually."
>Cheerilee's face is going redder and redder.
"Come to think of it, I think Applebloom got a skull fracture after I pelted her with a Golden Delicious... Oh and there was this fat kid that I rolled down a hill, I think his name was Chubbs, or whatever."
>Sniff and rub your chin.
"Aaaaand also I locked two students in a cupboard. I don't think I ever let them out."
>Smile down at her.
"So you've got quite a lot of work to catch up on! I'll be at home if you need me for anything."
>She doesn't reply.
"Cheerilee?"
>The pony's the colour of hatred.
"You've gone a bit re--"
>Cheerilee beats the piss out of you.
>You try to get away, but she's the kind of mare that takes year long trips to hunt vampires, so you don't do a good job of escaping.
>Several minutes of furious screaming and beating later, you lie on the grass staring at the sky.
>Cheerliee is stood over you, panting and fixing you with her hardest glare.
"I-In my defence, the kids still loved me."

>In a few days time, the school is up and running again. 
>A horde of slightly older students come wandering in through the door.
>When they see you sat obediently next to Cheerilee, half of them cheer and the other half cringe.
"Hello Sweetie Belle... Hi Glitter Ball, Hi-- uhh, what was your name?"
>"Silver Spoon. But you can call me anything you want~"
>Ah, she's still got it.
>Once the students are seated, Cheerilee stands up and clears her throat.
>"Good morning, class! I'm back!"
>The foals cheer.
>"Now, sorry about my, uhh, 'delay', I trust Anonymous here was a good teacher while I was gone?"
>She glares back at you.
>A single hoof raises at the back.
>"Oh! Yes?"
>"He was..."
>You look up.
>The colt you think was called Chubbs is staring right at you.
>He's even fatter than before.
>Sitting down seems to be exhausting him.
>You suddenly realise that you're at the mercy of this chubby little bastard.
>Shift uncomfortably in your seat.
>"...He was good."
>Swallow the lump in your throat.
>Chubbs is giving you a look that says 'I could have easily ended you'.
>You understand him perfectly.
>Cheerilee beams.
>"Wonderful!"
>She turns to you.
>"Mister Anonymous, you are free to go!"
>Glance around nervously.
"...Are you sure?"
>"Of course!"
"No hidden tricks?"
>"No hidden tricks."
>You shuffle towards the door, expecting it to slam shut at any second.
>The whole time, Chubbs has his eyes locked onto you.
"Yeah, I'll just uhh, go. Bye."
>Exiting the building, you shut the door behind you.
>Silence.
>For a second, you relish in the fact that you made it out of there not only in one piece, but without anything going wrong.
>Smiling, you take your first step home.
>Nothing but cheetos and soda for the rest of the day.
>Teaching can suck a fat one.
>You are Anon.
>Not a substitute teacher any more.

>You wake up the next morning to the sound of banging.
>Sit up and look at the clock.
>7:13am
>Much more reasonable, but still odd.
>You don't get all that many visitors.
>Pull on a dressing gown and walk downstairs.
>As you open the front door, you see Cheerliee stood on your doorstep.
>She gives you a meek smile.
>"...Hiiiii..."
"Uh, hi."
>"So ahh, how are you?"
"...Fine?"
>Narrow your eyes at her.
"What did you do?"
>She purses her lips and averts her eyes.
>"Listen... I might uhh, need you to do something for me."
>Your palms are suddenly very sweaty.
>"Something came up that I have to uhh, deal with."
>...
>She slowly puts on a fedora and gives you a forced smile whilst arming a crossbow.
>"...Can you please put on a school play while I'm gone?"
"FUCK."

"Alright, pussies, listen up. I don't like you, and you certainly don't like me, but Cheerliee fucked off to kill a Cyclops or something so now we're stuck together again."
>Applebloom raises her hoof.
"Bloom."
>"Anon? Is Miss Cheerilee gonna be gone for a long time again? Mah brother gets antsy when they don't go on their regular dates."
"I'm sure that doll he stole from Twilight will do him just fine while Cheerilee's gone."
>"But Ah found it tore in half behind the barn with its stuffin' everywhere!"
"Then frankly it's a miracle that Cheerilee can still walk."
>A filly at the back raises her hoof.
>"What's the play about? And also why does the cupboard in the corner smell?"
"No idea, Cheerilee left me a note and I haven't been bothered to read it yet; we'll do it now. Oh and the cupboard had the remains of your former classmates in it. I didn't have time to properly clean it, so don't go in there."
>You reach back and raise a small note.
>Quickly skim-read it.
"Mmmph... Uh huh... Right... Eugh... 'Kay..."
>Scootaloo leans forward, interested.
>"What does it say?"
>...
>Screw up the paper and toss it over your shoulder.
"Who cares? I don't read horse. Besides, I have a much better idea for a play that's gonna rock your worlds."
>Some of the foals look apprehensive.
"Oh don't give me that, it's a classic where I'm from."
>Their fear intensifies.
"Trust me on this one. First of all, are we all here? I probably should have done a register."
>A filly at the back calls out.
>"Silver Spoon slipped out the back with Rumble while you were reading!"
"Eh, they'll be fine."
>Sniff.
"Well, she will, he won't."
>Clasp your hands together.
"Right, first of all I'll need my fat assistant. Chubbs! Where are you?"
>The entire class turns around to look at Chubbs.
>His face is a picture of rage.
>Gritting his teeth, he waddles to the front of the class.
>"...Teacher..."
"'Sup. You should have disposed of me when you had the chance, fatso."
>"I will end you."
"Haha, no you won't. Get me a pack of crayons and some paper, we're gonna write some scripts."

>"So now you come to me on the day of my daughter's wedding and you ask me to kill a colt?!"
>You eagerly watch as a colt dressed in an oversized tuxedo makes exaggerated hoof gestures and tries to balance a glass of scotch on his head.
>Something pokes your side.
>Turn to see Chubbs, your vice-director.
>"Is this allowed?"
>He glances over the script.
>"It's got a lot of swearing in it... And violence."
"Life is violent, kiddo. The script is fine. It's uhh, 'artistic'. You like art, right?"
>He nods.
"Well there you are then. Go root through the prop box, I think I saw a beret and a striped jumper in there."
>You stand up and go to berate some of the actors you felt just weren't Italian enough.
>When you sit back down, you glance at Chubbs.
>Frown.
"Fucking hell, Chubbs. You got uhh... Larger?"
>A large yellow filly smiles back at you.
>"O-oh, I'm not Chubbs... I'm umm, Stutter Fie."
"Well that's a stupid name. Where's Chubbs? I want my fat assistant back."
>"Why have him when you can have me?"
>Stutter Fie bats her eyelashes at you.
"Kid, I'm trying to direct a play, not go to prison."
>"Th-they'll never find out!"
>Scrutinise the filly.
"You're a bit big for a foal, aren't you?"
>"I have a condition."
"What, like Chubbs has?"
>"S-stop comparing me to Chubbs..."
"I can't help it, I love that little bastard. He's the best pony in this class."
>...
"...Don't tell him I said that."
>Look over your shoulder.
>Chubbs is behind you, giving you a coy smile.
"What are you looking at, fatty? Go eat some more cake."
>His smile is replaced with a glower.
>Then he shuffles towards the cakes and refreshments table.
>Shake your head and look back at your new assistant while Chubbs is occupied.
>She seems to have moved her chair closer.
>"S-So you're a teacher, huh~?"
"You're old enough to know that."
>She fumbles with her hooves and blushes.
>"And you like making plays too?"
"I've made a few plays in my time-- Rumble! Swing the axe DOWN on his back, not at an angle!"
>"But I can't hold the axe that high!"
"Then literally grow up and try again, I won't take youth as an excuse for your shit acting!"
>He scrunches his face up and smooths down his raincoat before trying again.
>Stutter Fie is sitting closer still.
>"I can act."
"I'm going to assume that you can't."
>"Well I know how I can convince you. Want to give me a... 'private audition'?"
"Christ, I thought Silver Spoon was bad but you're the worst."
>Movement to your left shows Silver Spoon leaving the bathroom.
>Followed by 3 traumatised looking colts.
"Alright, you're the second worst, but that's still pretty bad. You should be doing more normal things with yourself rather than trying to seduce a man that actively hates children."
>"But I'm not really a ch-- I-I mean, umm, please give me a chance--"
"Yeah yeah that's great-- RUMBLE!"
>The colt turns to you, axe held high and struggling to keep it that way.
>"Y-yeah, teach?"
"That's better. Now go!"
>He brings the prop down on his classmate's back.
>"T-try getting a reservation at Horsia now you hecking silly goose!"
"IT'S 'FUCKING STUPID BASTARD', RUMBLE. STOP POLLUTING ART."

>Four hours later you've made good progress.
>Chubbs ate everything at the refreshments table though so you've had the class take a 15 break while you head into town to get some more stuff to feed the beast with.
>Stutter Fie tags along.
>Without your consent.
>"I know this great place on the outskirts of Ponyville!"
"We're going to Sugarcube Corner."
>"Why is it always Sugarcube Corner?"
"Because they're literally the only place in town that sells more than one kind of food."
>"What about the market?"
"The market can suck my dick, I was molested there once."
>"R-really?"
"Really. Someone touched my ass."
>"O-oh my. I wonder who it was..."
"No idea."
>"What would you do if you ever found them?"
"I'd--"
>Look down at Stutter Fie.
>She's sweating profusely and wiping her forehead with a hoof.
"Uhh, nothing. We're here now anyway."
>Push open the door and step inside.
>The shop is empty.
>You glance around, looking for signs of the Cakes or Pinkie Pie.
"Anyone home?"
>No reply.
>Frowning, you ring the bell on the counter.
>The moment your hand touches the bell, Pinkie just -appears- out of thin air, leaning on the counter with a foreleg and giving you the Dreamworks smile.
>"Welcome to Sugarcube Corner, how sad are ya'?"
"I just fed a fat kid a birthday party's worth of cake."
>She nods and disappears.
>Then returns with a huge box of supplies.
>Effortlessly pluck it off the counter and give it to Stutter Fie.
>She crumples under the weight.
>Pinkie giggles.
>"Anything else, Non-non?"
"Yeah, wouldn't happen to have any sugerglue, would you? We ran out."
>Pinkie reaches behind her ear and pulls out a fresh tube of the stuff.
"Thanks."
>You turn to your yellow, definitely underaged companion.
"We'd better get back fast or Chubbs might try to eat our lead."
>She nods and unfurls her wings, then flies out the door.
>Fllly can fly awfully well for someone her age.
>As you leave, Pinkie waves.
>"Bye Anon! Bye Fluttershy!"
"It's Stutter Fie, actually."
>"OOoh, roleplay! Kinky!"
>Roll your eyes and shut the door behind you.
>Typical Pank.

>"Dead or alive, you're coming with me!"
>The colt stumbles around the stage with a frying pan on his head, waving a banana around and making gun-shot noises.
>Extras fall down and make loud strangled cat impersonations as they 'die'.
>"Aaaand scene!"
>Nod in approval.
>Clasp Chubbs on the shoulder.
"Nice work, Chubbmaster. Here's a cupcake."
>He jumps at your sudden appearance.
>You give him the entire box and leave him to it.
>Stutter Fie tugs on your leg.
>"C-can we have that private audition now?"
>Groan and rub your eyes.
"For the last time, no."
>"Pleeeease? I'll be good!"
"We don't need a female character. I wrote them all out of the script because women are stupid."
>Chubbs clears his throat.
>"Actually, you missed one, and we already made the costume."
>Glance at the 'costume'
>It's a fig leaf attached to a bit of string.
>Unf.
>Grunt in acknowledgement.
"Fine, FINE. Let's get this over with."
>You lead Stutter Fie back to the school house and lead her inside.
>Once in, you turn to her.
"Right. You're an exiled space mercenary who's just returned from a long assignment. When you return to your employer, he betrays you and kills your partner. Your partner's just been reduced to gore next to you, and you're covered in his blood. You're angry, and ready to kill the traitor. Ready? Go."
>Stutter Fie tackles you to the floor.

"Okay... So Teacher wanted us to act out this after the warehouse scene..."
>You and some of the actors are crowded around the script.
>Chew your bottom lip and swing your legs off the edge of your vice-director's chair.
>' CHUUUBBS! '
"Hmm... How can we do this? Rumble, any ideas?"
>"Not sure, boss. You want me to go find that old pair of ladders? We could use it as a platform."
"Good thinking. Scootaloo, can you play the part of the old sailor?"
>"Sure!"
"Cool. Applebloom?"
>"Yeah?"
"Could you please create us some props for this scene? I have a few ideas I'll go over with you."
>"'Course!"
>' CHUBBS HELP ME! '
>Smile.
"I really think this scene could work out well if we put in everything!"
>Your classmates nod excitedly.
>You're oblivious to the human banging against the inside of the schoolhouse window get dragged to the floor by some unknown being.
>A single hand slams against the glass then is slowly dragged out of view.
>' CHUUUUUUUUBBS! ' 
"Okay, Applebloom, let's go over these designs..."

>Sit in your director's chair again.
>You've been glaring at Chubbs for the last 15 minutes.
>He seems unnerved.
>"You umm, have something on your cheek, Teacher."
"Yes. I do."
>"It looks like... Yellowy glue?"
"Yes, Chubbs. I know."
>"...S-so we acted out the scene like you said to do..."
>Turn from him, your lower half incapable of moving much.
>Watch as two foals run across the stage, one as a pirate and the other wearing a raincoat.
>"Bate-pone! The aliens are coming!"
>"Don't worry, I'll save us with my catchy records!"
>He throws cardboard cut-outs of CDs at some more foals dressed as aliens.
>They gurgle and slump the floor.
>Then a few party poppers explode off stage.
>"Oh no! We're under attack!"
>"Aww shucks! This isn't anything like my Japanese Animes!"
>Watch in silent awe as the scene unfolds.
>They even got music from somewhere.
>Scootaloo holds Rumble in her arms.
>"B-Bate-pone! Don't die!"
>Rumble quickly sticks a packet of ketchup into his mouth, chews it, then spits it out.
>"Blarg. I don't have much time... Take the codex... It'll take you to robot heaven..."
>He goes limp.
>Scootaloo throws her head back.
>"NNNNOOOOOOOOO!"
>"Aaaand scene!"
>Chubbs awaits your approval.
>Look at him.
"...Oh don't look too pleased, the aliens were green, not blue."
>Sniff.
"But it was still a thing of beauty. Good job, Chubbs."
>Chubbs smiles.
"I'm proud of you."
>He beams.
"...Fucking hell, did you eat the -entire- box?!"
>"U-uhhh, I had help!"
"What, from your identical twin brother?"
>"W-what does Lenny have to do with this?!"
>Shake your head and stand up, your legs and pelvis still aching.
"Okay. I think we're just about ready."
>The actors gather around you.
>...
"What, are you expecting some kind of speech? Go home."
>They let out an 'aww' and trudge home.
>Chubbs is the last to go.
>He turns to you before he leaves.
>"Do you think the parents will like it?"
>You smile at him.
"God no."
>He nods.
>"Thought so."

>"It's hip to be square! And also hip to DIE!"
>Patrick Bate-pone throws his plastic axe at Zipplezap Gangerblaster.
>Or Sweetie Belle in a wig and antenna.
>She screams and falls over.
>"I am defeated! But you won't escape, Bate-pone!"
>Scootaloo hurries onto the stage, but trips up over her own feet.
>A few of the parents chuckle.
>Picking herself up and blushing, Scootaloo tugs on Rumble's blood-splattered raincoat.
>"Quick! To the docks! We can lose them there!"
>The pair run around in circles for a while as foals in black set up ladders and props behind them.
>You stand at the back with Chubbs on your shoulders.
>It's like carrying a buffalo.
>"You may have killed Bate-pone, but you'll never take me alive!"
>Smoke machines come on, fireworks are fired everywhere, and several parents duck as a stray bottle rocket shoots out over the crowd.
>Some more shenanigans happen that you can't even keep track of.
>But eventually the foals come onto the stage and take a bow.
>The parents aren't sure what to do.
"Clap, you assholes."
>They start furiously clapping and stomping.
>Put Chubbs down and stretch.
"Well, Chubbs, we did it. We did a play."
>Chubbs giggles.
>"And no one got hurt!"
>You twitch.
>"Anon!"
>Turning, you see Applejack, Rarity and Fluttershy.
"Oh, hey, enjoy the play?"
>Rarity winces.
>"It was, ahh, certainly a spectacle!"
>Applejack snorts.
>"Ah thought it was stupid."
"Your mom is stupid."
>"Mah mom's dead, Anon."
"Yeah, like your love life. OOH!"
>You try to fist-bump Chubbs but just end up punching him in the face.
>He takes the blow like a champ.
>Then falls backwards.
>Since you're on a slight gradient, gravity takes over and he starts rolling backwards.
>"TEEEAAACCcchheeeeerrr!..."
>Poor kid.
>Applejack and Rarity pick up their siblings and take them home.
>You sit in one of the empty seats, staring at the stage.
>Fluttershy sits next to you.
>"Sooo... Rough day?"
"You could say that. I was raped by a ten year old."
>"O-oh my."
"She kinda looked like you."
>Fluttershy cringes.
>"U-umm--"
"Eh, actually, no. She had a moustache and her cutie mark was three giant blotches of paint."
>"..."
"Hell of a business, this teaching thing, Fluttershy."
>"I can imagine."
>...
>"So umm, when you were raped... Did you enjoy it a bit?"
"Nope."
>"Not even a little?"
"Nope."
>"Oh. So being raped by a filly isn't your fetish?"
"The fuck? No, why would it?"
>"Just asking."
>More awkward silence.
>"What about mares raping you?"
"What is this fixation with raping all of a sudden? I'm an emotional wreck, Fluttershy! I have serious psychological issues now!"
>"S-sure, but hypothetically speaking if I was to overpower you here with no one around, would you maybe enjoy it just a little bit?"
>She forces a smile.
>Snort.
"Yeah right. You can't overpower flour, Fluttershy."
>"Yes... -I- can't..."
>Slowly turn your head back towards Fluttershy.
>She's adjusting a moustache onto her face.
>The pair of your stare at each other for a while.
>...
"I can honestly say I did -not- see this coming."
>This is all Cheerilee's fault.
>Fluttershy tackles you.

The End.