Make me.
>Be Anon
>You’ve been trapped in this hell dimension of cotton-candy ponies for the better part of a decade now
>And one of them, the purple one, is standing on your porch
>”Oh, come on Anon, I asked this time! The least you could do is give me just a whiff of your sensuous summer sausage...”
>Twilight cranes her neck towards your crotch like it’s a pie cooling on a windowsill
You *have* to ask, because the courts ruled you can’t use the royal mandate to get laid, purps.
>You bap her nose and she twitches.
Now, like I was saying, if you want me to, then you’ll have to make me. And you can’t make me. Now if you’ll excuse me, I was in the middle of pinching a loaf. Good day, Your Majesty.
>You close the door on her and head back to the bathroom, where your lightly-pinched rye bread rests waiting for you on your sink.
>If only these ponies could understand your important human business.

>Be the next day
>knock knock.mp5
>You sigh and set down your bruised loaf of rye
>You know what it is. You know what every morning is
>You head downstairs and open the front door
G-
>A crude reflection of you stands next to the princess
Twilight Sparkle what the fuck is that
>”It’s you!”
Yeah no what the FUCK is THAT.
>”Well, you said I couldn’t make you, so I decided to prove you wrong, mister!”
>She prods your chest with a hoof
By making a clone of me? How did you even manage th-ewww!
>The Fake Anon instinctually grabs and begins kissing up the length of her foreleg
>”Not now sweetie we’re talking”, she shakes her hoof.
>The homunculus gives her what you think is a seductive growl
>Twilight responds with a growl of her own
>You can feel this conversation is over, so you quietly back up and lock the door
>Just in time to avoid what is, you assume based on the sounds, royal pussy being reamed out on your front porch
>Such is life in Equestria