Originally uploaded to Pastebin: May 9th, 2017
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More one-shots written in the threads. Thanks goes out to the Anons that inadvertently inspired them.

Updated 24/12/20: I found some more shorts in the archives that I wrote around the same time as the original shorts, so I've added them onto this one.

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Anonymous posted a picture of Celestia playing a dating sim.

>"Celestia I'm getting quite concerned about this."
"Go away, Luna, I'm busy."
>"You've been 'busy' for three weeks."
>Luna takes a tepid step into your bedchambers.
>Her hoof immediately smushes the heavily-moulded remains of a hayburger you'd left there.
>She slowly removes her hoof and stares at it, bewildered.
>"...It's not the fact that you've left a burger on the floor that bothers me, but why in the -doorway-...?"
"I said go away. The burger is there to punctuate my point."
>"Is it even a burger at this point?"
"I have to feed it twice a day, so I don't think so."
>...
"Also did you step in my pet?"
>"That's not important. You need to get out of this room, you have a kingdom to run."
"Dad's not been around since mom died, I think we should probably rename it to a princess-dom for accuracy's sake since we don't have a king..."
>"What-- Celestia, stop this childish behaviour right now!"
>Luna marches into your dark, sullen room and pulls open the curtains.
>As sunlight bursts forth, banishing the shadows, she recoils at what she sees.
>You sit on your punished, thoroughly flattened pillow, the desk before you covered in wrappers and stains.
>Around you is three weeks worth of rubbish and chaos.
>Clothes hang from chairs, your desk has several mountains of unsigned documents piled high, and a musky scent lingers in the stale air.
>Luna's eyes are drawn to your computer screen.
>A bright colourful scene is stretched across the monitor, a playful tune sounding out from the speakers.
>Your gaze remains glued to it.
>A nudge at your side alerts you to Luna.
>With great effort you shift your eyes from the rainbow before you to the unimpressed glare of your dear sister.
"...What?"
>"What? What do you mean 'what'? Does this look normal to you?"
>You crane your head back over your shoulder and regard the room with disinterest.
"Ten minute cleanup job at most."
>"That's besides the point, you're living in filth. You're a princess! THE princess!"
"You're a princess too."
>"Oh don't play dumb, when ponies talk about 'The Princess' they're talking about you. What would they say if they saw you now! What are you even wearing?!"
>You look down at yourself.
"...Panties and a t-shirt."
>"Where on earth did you find a t-shirt your size?"
"Bought it online."
>"And the panties?"
"Already had them."
>"Celestia look at me-- just--"
>She grabs your head, which was slowly turning back to the screen, between two hooves and forces it towards her.
>"Your mind is jelly. You're acting totally out of character, you're living in a heap, and no one has seen you for weeks save a few trusted guards! Your schedule is in tatters and the dignitaries are beginning to grow concerned!"
>She glowers.
>"Some even speak of foul play, and that I usurped the throne."
>Luna grits her teeth.
>"I've had to host the day-court for three weeks. You -know- how much I hate day-court. And because I've suddenly started doing it unannounced they think I have you locked away again!"
"Just tell them I'm busy."
>"I have been! For three weeks! Twenty days!"
"Not exactly three weeks--"
>"Semantics, Celestia!"
>She makes an exasperated noise, her annoyance on full display.
>"So shut off... whatever this is, have a shower, clean this room, and get back to running the country!"
"Sure, sure, just let me finish this."
>Luna studies the monitor closely.
>"What even -is- this?"
"Anonquest."
>"Anawhat?"
"Anonquest. You have to date the human and win his heart."
>"What in heavens is a human?"
>You nod at the screen.
>Anon cheerfully greets you.
>' Hiya! What do you wanna do today? '
>You click on ' Go to mall '.
>' The mall huh? You sure like going there, but so do I! And I get to do it with you that makes it extra fun! '
>A tired, satisfied sigh passes your lips.
>Luna watches you, dumbfounded.
>"...Please tell me you haven't fallen in love with a... a... fictional character...?"
"...He understands me."
>Luna blinks.
>"Celestia he isn't real."
>You grumble and ignore her.
>"No, no, no, Celestia, listen to me."
>She jabs a hoof at the screen, giving it a harsh tap and causing discolouration in the pixels where her hoof landed.
>You make a strange, pathetic-sounding distressed noise and wave her away, stroking the bit of screen she poked with your own hoof, quietly shushing as if to sooth it.
>Luna holds a forehoof over her eyes and tries to suppress a scream.
>"You need to get out of this."
"Sure, sure, I'll come out when I've gone to the mall--"
>"RIGHT NOW."

>"It's an absolute relief to see you again, Princess! If I may, where have you been?"
>You stare blankly at the stallion talking to you.
>He smiles, waiting patiently.
>You wet your chapped lips and look down at the papers before you.
>They're talking about taxes and... roads?
>You don't understand any of this.
>It's cold here.
>Your flanks hurt without your pillow underneath you.
>The sunlight hurts your eyes.
>You miss Anon.
"Oh I've uh, just been... away. Went to the mall a few times. Was gonna go to dinner once I'd earned enough love tokens--"
>Luna interjects.
>"What she's trying to say, sir, is that she's been mingling with the folk in Manehatten. Getting to know the streets in other cities apart from Canterlot, you see?"
>The noble seems to buy this.
>"Ah! Excellent! Well I hope you enjoyed your stay in our fair city, your highness, might I ask if you attended any plays? We've been hosting the wonderful Mare-a Loco Show these past few weeks and if you..."
>Your mind wanders as he speaks.
>When you get back to Anon, would he respond well to you wearing blue again? He seemed to like it last time. He likes blue.
>You smile dozily.
>He likes you.
>A harsh nudge from the side brings you back to reality.
>Luna smiles sweetly at you, her eyes hiding barely suppressed rage.
>"Well, Celestia? What do you think of the regulation to boost income tax by four point five percent and use the extra funds to maintain our roads?"
>She nods and mouths the words ' Say you like it '
"I... like it."
>Several of the nobles sigh in relief, several others groan.
>"So it's settled, we shall boost the income tax. Our roads will be far better off this way, and that should help with intercity travel, making it far less of a chore."
>You still miss Anon.

>Luna barges into your room.
>"Oh no--"
>She looks around.
>"NO--"
>Her pupils shrink.
>"IT'S BEEN TWO DAYS!"
>You raise your weary eyes from your computer screen and look at her quizzically from your fortress of trash.
>Empty fast-food cups and containers are scattered everywhere.
>You somehow got a bathrobe lodged behind the curtain railing.
>And the smell is back.
>As is the darkness.
>Smile weakly at Luna.
"Anon and I went on a date...!"
>You turn back to the screen.
>' Hey, how 'bout I eat your fat horse ass behind the gym~? '
>Instantly your face becomes flushed.
"A-anon! I... I think I'm ready."
>Luna watches in amazement as you hit 'Next' in a frenzy, the lewd depictions on screen getting so raunchy it makes even the mare who attempted to bring about eternal night get hot under the collar.
>You place a hoof firmly between your legs as your on-screen avatar (whom you made look rather similar, if not identical, to yourself) gets a rimjob from the human.
>Luna slams your door in shame and disgust.
>Eh, her loss.
>' Oh [CELESTIA], your giant butt excites me so! '
"Unf."

---

Anonymous posted a picture of a Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy fusion.

>You hear a knock on the door.
>Your therapist had told you to block the sound out lest it trigger your PTSD.
>Still, you shuffle to the door and open it, ready to face the day.
>Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy stand before you, their eyes wide and faces hopeful.
>Already you feel the dread creeping over you.
>Pinkie turns to her friend.
>"This is it, Fluttershy! This is what we trained for!"
>Fluttershy nods excitedly.
>"I-I believe in us, Pinkie!"
>The two mares do a short, strange, possibly sexual synchronised dance.
>At the climax of it, they hug each other, butting their heads together with a firm, worryingly loud 'thunk'.
>A flash of light envelops them, blinding you and forcing you to shield your eyes with a hand.
>The two mares seem to shift into an amorphous blob of glorious radiance, leaving no trace of the two ponies you once knew.
>You watch in awe as the light rises from from the ground, hovering just past your eye level.
>It gradually takes shape, and though you're blocking most of what you can see under the shade of your hand, you can just make out a pony-looking entity.
>Said entity lowers to the ground once more, bathed in an other-worldly and mystical energy.
>The bright pink mare opens her eyes, a brilliant blue, her vibrant, fluffy yellow mane bouncing with the slightest of movements, almost as though it's dancing to an unheard rhythm.
>She smiles at you.
>A smile so optimistic it immediately shatters the veil of negative emotions surrounding your mind.
>For the first time in years you feel genuinely happy.
>Unable to think of anything else to say to her, you blurt out the first thing that comes to your head.
"I-I think you just cured my depression."
>"Of course I did, silly! I'm the combined forces of laughter and kindness!"
>Sweet jesus they ascended to godhood.
>This can only end badly.
>Not that you feel sad about it.
>Come to think of it, you're not sure you -can- feel sad anymore.
>You can think of a number of problems with this, and you wonder how you're going to react down the line to the death of a loved one.
>Likely with a song and a smile.
>The next funeral you go to is gonna suck.
>The being formerly known as Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie steps towards you.
>"Call me Flutterpie! Or Pinkieshy! I don't mind which, as long as you're happy!"
>You beam at her.
>Not that you had a choice.
>This is gonna grate on you, you just know it.
"So you're a hybrid of each other?"
>"Yesserooni! Fluttershy's kindness, Pinkie Pie's laughter, and all the good stuff in between! Isn't that neato?!"
"...Fluttershy's kindness and Pinkie's laughter."
>"Yyyup!"
"...Fluttershy's introversion and Pinkie's extroversion."
>"...Well, I suppose?"
"Fluttershy's lack of social skills, and Pinkie's abundance of them."
>Flutterpie looks at you in confusion.
"You're simultaneously the most confident pony in Equestria and the least confident pony in Equestria. You're both the loudest and quietest mare in the room. You're a pony who loves to party, but would rather do so on her own."
>Flutterpie shudders.
>You take a step back.
"You're no fusion. You're... a paradox."
>At this, thin, wispy motes of light begin emanating from Flutterpie.
"Your very existence is a contradiction! You're not supposed to be!"
>The mare trembles violently.
>Far, far too violently.
>Her teeth shake, her wings unfurl and begin flapping madly, though they refuse to lift her off the ground.
>Upon her chest, cracks start to form, brilliant white light seeping through.
>The mare begins to hyperventilate as her body becomes riddled with the same cracks, all of them growing in size and intensity.
>"I-I-I can't... breathe! I just wanna make ponies smile! B-but I don't want to go outside to do it!"
>She grabs her head.
>"I CAN'T THINK! I CAN'T... FEEL!"
"Oh fuck, ooooh fuck."
>You practically trip over yourself sprinting past her and down the road.
>Looking over your shoulder as you run, you see Pinkieshy begin to glow white hot.
>Her screams pierce the morning, and a high-pitched whining permeates the area, like the very air around you is crying out in agony.
>You feel a tension bearing down upon you unlike anything you've ever felt.
>It is as though reality is rejecting what Pinkie have Fluttershy have done.
>As though the universe itself is about to correct a grave error that should never have come to pass.
>White lightning arcs from her body, incinerating entire trees and liquidising rocks.
>"I. CAN'T. CONTAIN IT! AAAAAAAA--"
>The explosion is deafening, and you feel the heat long before you feel the impact.
>Your clothes and skin are seared as you find yourself dragged forward off your feet by the shockwave, a thunderclap beyond imagination resonating across the valley like a cataclysm.
>Though your world is spinning, you see several houses in Ponyville closest to the nova consumed by the wave of intense heat shortly before the charred remains are thoroughly obliterated.
>You land in the fountain at the centre of Ponyville, the water bubbling around you from the heat in the air.
>The water quickly turns brown as it mixes with your blood.
>You know that damage was done to your body, but you're struggling to grasp the extent of it.
>For a while you lie simply lie there.
>Realistically it's all you can do.
>Your legs refuse to respond to your commands, and you daren't look down to confirm if you even still have them.
>You bask in the panicked cries of the residents around you trying to salvage their friends, family members, and lifestyles as smoke fills the skies.
>You stare at the cerulean blue above and watch it slowly fade from the thick plumes of black overtaking it.
>As you regard the devastation around you, the mares sobbing as their stallions try to put out the fires, the local law enforcement frantically attempting to maintain order, and the poor mayor stood off to one side watching and unable to move from the shock of the sheer destruction unleashed upon her small town, you can only think one thing.
"That was totally my fetish."

---

"Toss in a bit of sadism, and crippling depression, and you got what makes this such an enduring thread type."
 - Anonymous, commenting on the new OP text.

>"Necromancy!"
>"Depression!"
>"Sadism!"
>"Futa!"
>"Spite!"
>"By these powers combined, I am Flutterrape!"
>Fluttershy beams at you, her weird multicoloured costume hugging her form as she proudly poses.
"Uh, what does that mean, exactly?"
>"It means this!"
>Fluttershy waves a hoof.
>Before you can question it, a massive decrepit hand bursts from the ground beneath you and grabs your ankle.
"What the fuck?!"
>More skeletal hands emerge from the earth and grip you, forcing you to the ground where more bones reveal themselves and lock your body in place, spread-eagle on your back looking up at Fluttershy.
>Her eyes are glowing a soft, sickening green.
>She smiles, then it fades.
>With a heavy sigh she crawls onto you and sits on your chest.
>"So um, we're gonna have sex."
"No we're not, let go of me!"
>Her shoulders sag.
>"No like any of this matters... we'll all be dead one day."
>She forces herself to smile as she pulls out a knife.
>"Still, maybe carving you up a little bit will bring me some joy."
"Woooah, okay, Flutters, seriously, put that down."
>She lazily drags the tip of the knife across your skin, not hard enough to draw blood, but enough to leave a thin red line.
>"Oooh, the things I'm going to do to you."
>It's now that you feel something hot pressing against you.
>Looking down, you see a massive bulge pressed against Fluttershy's belly, her costume keeping it hidden, yet oh so revealed.
>"It's probably gonna hurt. It'll hurt so good, Anon, for you and for me."
>Desperately try to pull your limbs from the hands holding you down, but to no avail.
>Fluttershy sighs once more.
>"Sure it'll feel good, but it's not gonna make me happy..."
"Yes! Exactly! It won't do anything, so let's just forget this and go about our business, ha ha ha!"
>Your nervous laughs intensify as she presses the knife against your throat and her cock throbs, a faint dampness on the fabric betraying the precum oozing from her malevolent, aching shaft.
>"Well, you'd like that, wouldn't you?"
>She growls.
>"Why should I do anything for you? You never do anything for me."
"Fluttersh--"
>"You've never sucked my cock, Anon. You've never wrapped those pretty lips and hands around my dick and worked it like the slut you are."
"I didn't even know you had a dick!"
>"All the more reason for you to make up for it. So to HECK with feeling sad, you're gonna scream for me, and I'm gonna enjoy every second of making you pant and moan like a bitch in heat for me!"
"I miss the old Fluttershy."
>"Don't worry baby, I'll fill the void she left behind with something much bigger."
"Oh god this is so gay!"
>...
>Fluttershy pauses.
>Then retracts the knife somewhat, sitting up and putting her hooves on her hips, scowling at you.
>"Futa isn't gay, Anon."
>You give her a deadpan look.
"You're about to fuck me with dick, of course it's gay."
>"No it's not, I'm a mare!"
"With a dick."
>"But I'm still a mare!"
"You might as well be an effeminate stallion, what's important is that you have a cock."
>She fumes.
>"IT'S. NOT. GAY."
"YOU'RE IN DENIAL, HOMOLORD."
>"OH SUCK MY COCK, YOU ASSHOLE."
"THAT'S THE PROBLEM, I CAN'T DO THAT OR IT WOULD BE GAY!"
>"REEEEEEEEEEEEE--"

---

Anonymous posted an image of a Fluttershy elephant. Spoke about 'gaining weight'.

>Knocka knock knock.
>You stop staring at your own self-portrait - a masterwork depicting yourself posing before a fireplace with a smoking jacket and pipe - and walk to the front door.
>You open it in the most dignified manner you can (loudly) and address the knocker with respect and humility (like an asshole).
"What."
>Fluttershy gazes back at you for a moment, her eyes vacant.
>"You ever wonder what the point of all this is? This constant fetish guessing? Day in day out without any sort of change...?"
"...W-what?"
>She shakes her head.
>"Sorry, got lost in thought, um, okay, here we go."
"Alright then, when you're ready."
>She clears her throat.
>"Hey Anon."
"Hey faggot."
>"I just wan--"
>She gives you a flat look.
>Smile innocently.
>"Mature. Anyway, I was wondering if massive girls were your fetish?"
"What, like fat chicks? Pretty sure you tried that four months back. Frankly, the recovery diet you pulled off was legendary, in fact THAT was more impressive than the weight-gain itself."
>"Thank you!... but no, that's not what I meant, no, I meant -massive- girls."
"I don't follow."
>"It's... nevermind, I'll just show you."
>She puffs her cheeks out and tenses.
>Then vibrates a little bit.
>Her hooves sink into the ground slightly.
>"Ta daaa!"
"...Am I supposed to be impressed?"
>She frowns.
>"Playing hard to get, why am I not surprised..."
"We've been doing this for ten years Fluttershy. Twilight has four kids and Rainbow Dash is dead, there comes a point where you have to realise I'm not playing 'hard to get'--"
>"No no, I see what you're doing, just you watch."
>She tenses again, then makes a strange, strangled "HURK" noise.
>"HURK."
>Yeah, like that.
>You check your watch and look back at her as her face goes red and she comes dangerously close to popping a blood vessel in her forehead.
"Yo so I need to get to the shelter to help out with the animals, you're welcome to come along if you're finished--"
>The ground cracks beneath her.
>For a moment there's silence.
>You stare in shock at what you can see are definitely massive fissures in the ground beneath Fluttershy.
>They stretch quite far in every direction, one of them even going under one of the walls of your house.
"Woah. That's... how did you do that?"
>"I told you, I'm becoming more massive! Is it your fetish?"
"...Oh shit, no, no Fluttershy don't keep doing it--"
>"Ugh, fine, maybe if I was MORE massive..."
"No, Fluttershy, honey, I'm serious now, please don't hurt yourself--"
>"HUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRK."
"FLUTTERSHY STOP."
>"HURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR"

"And that's how it happened, Celestia, I mean every word."
>Celestia nods slowly.
>"So Fluttershy trying to guess your fetish is why my beautiful, pristine world is now in a state of constant tidal flux, and Fluttershy is in the process of collapsing in on herself."
"Yes ma'am."
>"You understand that if the magic holding her is interfered with for even a moment, she will be crushed under the weight of her own gravity and create a singularity that will consume this entire planet?"
"Yes ma'am."
>...
>"...Well was it at least your fetish?"
"Yes ma'am, I've had an erection for the last six days, I'm starting to grow concerned."
>"As well you should, you horrid little deviant, now get out of my court room, I have to clean up your mess."
>On your way out you pass Fluttershy, flanked by a pair of guards. 
>Her limbs are contorted in a strange way, like a mix between the foetal position and some advanced yoga, the mare suspended in an ethereal golden field.
"Sorry Fluttershy. Good guess, by the way, it worked."
>You point at your erection.
"Shame you can't uh. Well. 'Reap the rewards'."
>Through the soft, pulsating noise of the magical field, you hear a low, desperate-sounding whine.
"There there, Fluttershy, there there."
>You reach forward to pat her.
>Celestia launches off her throne in panic, hurtling towards you like a thunderbolt.
>"NO ANON DON'T TOUCH HER HEAD--"
>Bad End

---

"Because then it's not rape anymore, its consensual. Kinda flies in the face of the premises of the thread."
 - Anonymous, regarding his thoughts on consent.

>"N-not so tough now, are you, Anon!"
>You're really up shit's creek now.
>The windows are superglued shut.
>There are trained Timberwolves downstairs guarding the front door.
>And somewhere outside in the thick mist that shrouds your house, Harry the Bear is waiting with a baseball bat wrapped in barbed wire.
>There's no escape this time.
>Only thing left to do is fight.
>Though you realise even before you put one foot forward and draw back your fist that she will have anticipated this.
>In an almost frenzied glee, Fluttershy leaps to the side to avoid your strike, kicking out at your shin with a rear hoof and in an alarming display of dexterity, stabs you with a needle as you go down.
>The motion is so swift, its precision so extraordinary, that you can barely even register or believe that it happened as your shoulder collides with your bedroom floor with a troublesome crack.
>Fluttershy stands over you, victorious.
>You have to give her credit, she planned for everything this time.
>Well, almost everything.
>Licking her lips, she takes a deep, wavering breath, trying to come down from the elation of actually managing to beat you.
>"A-alright, this is it."
>You try to move your legs or arms.
>They don't respond.
>That'll be the needle's work, no doubt.
>You grimace as she shakes her mane out of shape, letting it hang in a chaotic pink mess.
>"Finally..."
>She rolls you over onto your back.
>"I'll finally get some release!"
>Smile as she unbuckles and removes your pants with a practised ease.
>She catches this and raises an eyebrow.
>"Something funny, Anon? Or are you laughing at your own ineptitude?"
"Oh no, I was just gonna say how warm you were."
>Fluttershy's eyes narrow.
>"I beg your pardon?"
"Yup. You sure are nice and warm. Cosy, almost."
>"What are you..."
>She scrambles to her hooves in a panic.
>"No! NO! Let me have this!"
>You can only grin.
"Should have made the poison attack my vocal chords as well, dummy."
>Tears well in her eyes as she moves her face close to yours, her voice desperate and her expression pleading with you.
>"Please, don't..."
"Hey Fluttershy."
>She blinks a few times, waiting with baited breath.
"I can't wait to have sex with you."
>Her head slowly drops, tears falling onto your chest.
"I can't wait to hold you in my arms and say how much..."
>Drop your voice to a low whisper.
"...I'm enjoying your company."
>She shakes her head, lower lip trembling.
>"I-I worked so hard this time. I-I tried so hard."
"And you got so far."
>"But in the end it didn't even matter."
"Heh."
>Fluttershy slides off you and wanders dejectedly towards the door.
>Looking back over her shoulder, she gazes at you.
>You can't move your head to look at her, but you know she can see you smiling.
>With that, she leaves you naked on your bedroom floor, paralyzed all over and incapable of moving.
>But still the final victor.
>Because you can't rape the willing.

---

An Anon gave us the following prompt:

>Anon likes to tease Cadence and get her flustered.
>Laughs his ass off with Bro-Shining (no homo), who plans with him, behind her back.
>Backfires when Cadence announces out of the blue that she and Anon are to be wed.
>Turns out his teasing of her, coupled with Shining's "harmless" input, has made her fall in love with him.
>Uses an obscure Equestrian law that makes polygamy legal for Royalty.
>Oh shit.
>As their nuptial date approaches, he and Shining desperately try to find a way out of it.
>Much to their unease, Cadence seems to be getting more and more excited as the date nears.
>Crystal Heart grows more powerful, meaning that the Empire's ponies support her.
>Asks Twilight for help, but shocked when she supports Cadence: love is love.
>Cadence is the Princess of Love, therefore she's the expert to be deferred to.
>Plus, this'd make her and Anon more than just friends, but family too.
>Anon fears for his horse-virginity as Cadence becomes increasingly lewd.

I wrote a quick 'semi-related' thing about it.

"Bro what the fuck are we gonna do?"
>Shining Armour stops hyperventilating into a paper bag and gives you a deranged look.
>"D-don't worry Anon! I have a plan that will make this all better!"
"How?! The wedding's in ten minutes! We've been hiding in this bathroom for an hour now!"
>He sticks a hoof in his mouth and bites down, trying to suppress a scream.
>"Yeah so you're marrying my wife, it's fine, no problem, CALM DOWN ANON."
"I-I gotta get out there, man, they're gonna be looking for us and if Twilight sees that I've stood up Cadance she'll have my balls."
>Shining Armour flashes you a desperate smile.
>"Hey! What if you ditched Cadance and married my sister! That would make this all fine!"
"That would never work, and besides, your sister's gross, she never washes and smells like musk all the damn time."
>"It's just nerd-sweat, you'll get used to it!"
"I'm not marrying your sister so..."
>You glance at yourself in the bathroom mirror and check your hair again, swallowing the lump in your throat.
"I guess I'm just gonna... marry your wife."
>Shining trembles.
>"I don't wanna share my bed with another dude, Anon! That's... gay!"
"I know man, I know, being gay is a fate worse than death, but what are we supposed to do? We're up against a rock and a hard place; if I marry Cadance our balls might touch during sex, and if I stand her up out there then Twilight will take my balls."
>You affectionately pat your crotch.
"A man's balls are his only true friend, Shining, you know that."
>He nods shakily.
>"I-I know, I know."
>The pair of you take a deep breath.
>"So... I guess this is happening."
"Yeah."
>You sigh.
"It is."
>He nods a final time, accepting fate.
>"Listen, if I think of something, I'll try and let you know, but otherwise..."
>You gulp.
"Otherwise I'll see you on the honeymoon... where were we going again?"
>"Palm Bay; tropical island, fruity drinks served in coconuts, five-star resort, it's for two weeks."
>You try to hold back tears.
"S-sounds great."
>He reaches forward and pats you on the leg.
>"We'll get through this together, Anon... I mean we're gonna be living together until death do us part so we kinda have to but... we'll make it."
"Alright."
>You check your tie and clench your jaw.
"Here we go."

>"...Princess Mi Amore Cadenza, do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?"
>Cadance, fighting her tears through a radiant smile, beams at you.
>"I-I do!"
>Celestia turns to you.
>Her gaze is judgemental.
>You return it with solemn dignity and resignation.
>"...Anonymous T. Wafflebanger."
>You were joking when you said that was your real name.
>"Do you take this mare to be your lawfully wedded wife, to care for her in sickness and in health, till death do you part?"
>You turn away from Celestia and survey the audience.
>Twilight is staring unblinking at you.
>She nods deliberately when you catch one another's eyes.
>Gulp.
>Force a smile and turn back to Celestia.
"I... Do."
>Twilight smirks.
>Cadance trembles, tears of joy streaking down her cheeks.
>Celestia suppresses a weary sigh.
>"Then I now pronounce you husband and w--"
>The doors at the end of the hall burst open.
>Shining Armour performs a flawless series of about 15 combat rolls down the aisle before stopping just before the altar.
>During the final few rolls he unfurls, loads, cocks, and aims a crossbow.
>With a powerful thunk, he launches a bolt straight at Celestia.
>She barely has time to think before the bolt finds a home in the centre of her forehead.
>The mare hits the ground like a literal deadweight.
>Shining Armour fires another series of bolts into the crowd.
>"THEY CAN'T MARRY US IF THE MARRIAGE OFFICIANT IS DEAD-- COME ON ANON LET'S GET OUTTA HERE!"
>Twilight Sparkle explodes with rage and arcane might, casting aside a few nearby ponies, including her parents.
>"SHINING ARMOUR!"
>Shining shoots a bolt at her in panic.
>It disintegrates in a magical field before it can hit her.
>The stallion grabs your arm and tugs.
>"MOVE MOVE MOVE!"
>The pair of you sprint down the aisle past friends and family who have either been shot by Shining Armour or burnt by Twilight as the vengeful mare sends volleys of white-hot magic in your direction.
>No one else in the crowd moves to stop you, instead they run about in panic, screaming and calling for help.
>Throughout the bedlam, Twilight takes aim at you, and Shining fires his crossbow in the crowd.
"WHY ARE YOU EVEN SHOOTING AT THEM."
>"I DON'T KNOW ANON I'M MAKING THIS UP AS I GO ALONG."
>You dash out into the hall as a stonework pillar behind you explodes.
>Shining's Aunt Rosemary canters towards you.
>"Shiny! Anon! I heard shouting, what's going--"
>Shining Armour shoots her in the face, bawling his eyes out and apologising.
>Behind you, Twilight skids into the hall, her eyes glowing white with either irrepressible fury or magic.
>Hard to determine which is more severe at this point.
>"ANON WE NEED TO GET TO THE CARRIAGE OUTSIDE!"
"OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD."
>You keep saying this as you run your ass through the corridors of the castle and towards what was supposed to be your honeymoon carriage.
>The coach-stallion out front is checking his watch and chewing gum when the doors to the castle are thrown open and the groom and bride's husband storm out covered in blood and a wielding a crossbow with crazed looks in their eyes, the screams and mournful shrieks of a wedding ceremony in chaos echoing behind them.
>He stops chewing his gum and watches with disinterest as you approach him.
"TAKE US AWAY FROM THIS PLACE, HE'LL SHOOT YOU, I SWEAR TO GOD HE'LL SHOOT YOU HE SHOT HIS OWN AUNT."
>...
>The stallion swallows his gum.
>"Yeah, I've seen this happen before, get in."
>You and Shining Armour pile into the carriage.
>Shining breaks the back window and clears out the glass, firing his crossbow at ponies that are escaping the ceremony through the front door.
>Twilight emerges with them, levitating off the ground in a purple aura.
>She unleashes a colossal beam of lavender energy towards your carriage, but it narrowly misses.
>Shining's loading and firing his crossbow so fast it's almost like a machine-gun.
>You wonder where he's getting all his ammo from.
>The two of you speed off into the sunset, Shining Amour shooting random passers-by as you go.

>"Well, I'm glad we got out of that mess unscathed."
"You shot like fifty people, Shining."
>"Yeah, I sorta panicked."
"You killed so many family members."
>"Heat of the moment."
"Saw you shoot a kid when we were coming out of Canterlot."
>"Red haze, you know how it is."
"You shot the guy that just gave us our drinks."
>Shining lowers his crossbow and frowns at the young colt that had just given him a fruity drink served in a coconut.
>"Oh, whoops."
>He sets his weapon on the ground and reclines in his deckchair.
>You look out across the bay, the sun beating down on you.
"All that just to prevent polygamy."
>"Yup."
"...So if we're on a honeymoon together, is that gay?"
>"What? No, of course it isn't!"
"But we're sleeping in the same bed."
>"Yeah but--"
"And you're the little spoon."
>"...I like being the little spoon."
"Well."
>You relax.
"I guess that's that."

---

Anonymous wanted rape 'involving' Sunset Shimmer.

>You shift uncomfortably as you awaken.
>The fourth in a string of troubled dreams.
>In them, you're running from a huge, fluffy, pink amorphous blob that screeches "FUN!" from a thousand ever-shifting orifices.
>Still, you rise from your slumber unharmed, despite how vivid the dreams have been getting.
>In the kitchen, you yawn and crack your knuckles as the kettle boils on the hob.
>Using the palms of your hands you wipe the sleep from your eyes and gaze out your kitchen window.
>There, you see her again.
>It's Twilight's new friend.
>She only arrived a few days ago, but she's taken a real shining to you.
>You're not sure you like it; you get enough attention from Fluttershy.
>(The lunatic keeps trying get you insured at the vets, despite you obviously not being an animal.)
>You scratch your neck and watch as Sunset Shimmer babbles on about topics unknown to a random villager.
>She sure is popular, that's for certain.
>Apparently she visited the human world, though from what she tells you they don't sound like any humans you've ever met.
>Your humans come in three flavours: vanilla, chocolate, and dry-cleaner.
>Hers are chromatic aberrations of green, pink, and blue.
>Still, she's not as put-off by you as other ponies in town.
>You reach from the kettle and pour yourself a cup of tea.
>Then continue to watch her as it brews.
>She finishes her conversation and then briskly trots off in another direction.
>...Towards your house.
>You frown.
>This better not become a thing.
>Moving to the front door, you open it before she can knock.
>"Oh! Good morning, Anonymous!"
"Sunset."
>"How, uh, how are you? Got any plans for today? I was gonna head to Canterlot for the day if you wanted to--"
"No offence, Sunset, but I'm feeling a bit funny today, might have caught something."
>You cough into your fist for emphasis.
"So, no, no travelling for me, thanks."
>Her face shows concern.
>"Ohh, oh crap, nothing serious I hope?"
"Eh, it'll pass, these things always do."
>"Right, right, sure, so um, take care, I guess-- Oh! Nearly forgot, Twilight wanted me to tell you that you need to come to the castle as quickly as you can."
>You blink.
"That's, abrupt?"
>"Uh, something about magic?"
>She grins sheepishly.
>You grimace.
>Same routine as Fluttershy, she's trying to spend as much time with you as possible.
>Nevertheless, you won't let this slide, so you--
>...
>You suddenly realise that it's dark.
>The stars can be seen in the sky, despite it being morning a few seconds ago.
>That can only mean one thing.
>...
>Your eyes widen and you go stiff.
"Sunset."
>She looks at the sky in confusion, then cocks her head.
>"Everything... okay? Why is it night time? What's happening?"
"Sunset get inside."
>"What, why--"
"GET INSIDE."
>But before she can move, an object slams into her and sends her off her hooves, reeling into a nearby picket fence.
>She gasps as she supports herself on the wooden frame.
>Her fur is badly singed where the object struck her.
>Your hand is gripping your door handle.
>All you need to do is shut the door.
>But you're too afraid to move.
"P-please, not again..."
>It's all you can muster.
>"We-he-heelll, what's this then, huh?"
>Literally.
>The Sun.
>Stands before you on two thin black legs.
>He's slightly taller than you, and looks like a cartoon character.
>He's even wearing sunshades. Get it? Because it's the Sun?
>The Sun looks you up and down and whistles.
>"Wooow, wearing just a gown and pants today? That's awfully considerate of you, Anon, making it easier for me to access the goods, eh?"
"J-just go, I said I don't want--"
>"Shut the fuck up."
>The Sun moves forward and grips your arms.
>He throws you to the floor behind him and places one powerful hand on your left buttock.
>"I'm awfully pent up from, oh I don't know, giving life and heat to this world, so daddy needs some release."
>"A-anon!"
>Sunset is limping over to you, horror etched on her features.
>"I-I'll help! Quick, struggle as best you can!"
"No Sunset! You can't beat him! He's literally the fucking sun!"
>Literally The Fucking Sun laughs.
>"Yeah little lady, why don't you run along home, or better yet, stay and watch as I turn your boyfriend's grape into a raisin."
>"...Uh, what?"
"It's a pun! You leave grapes in the sun for too long and they turn into raisins! He's implying that--"
>"I said shut the fuck up, slut!"
>The Sun punches you in the back of the head, then moves your dressing gown to one side and slides down your pants, one hot, thick finger dragging itself down your crack.
>He chuckles.
>"Kept yourself smooth for me? Or is it just smooth from last time I was here?"
>The Sun licks his lips.
>"No matter. Here's today's weather forecast: it's gonna be sunny where the sun don't shine."
>Laughter fills your ears and pain fills your body as you are violated by the Sun until he cums Sunny D all over you.
>The worst part?
>Sunset actually stuck around to watch.
>Man, what a bitch.

---

"Never ever let manipulative scheming bitches into your home, no matter how cute they are."
"Next thing you know it'll turn into that Keanu Reeves movie, you know the one."
 - Anonymous, regarding Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon.

>You stride into your living room, your long black trench-coat billowing in the breeze due to the fan you'd pointed at the doorway to make yourself look and feel cooler.
>Come to a stop and glance at a side-mirror on the wall.
>You look mega-rad in those sunshades, Anon.
>A light chuckle echoes around the room.
>Reach over and flick off the fan.
>Slowly, two fillies strut in through the other doorway across from you.
>Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon.
>Diamond speaks as Silver just smirks.
>"Mister Anonymous."
>Your eyebrows knit together.
>"Did you get our package?"
>They sent you a box full of condoms earlier that day.
>They were too big.
"Yeah."
>"Well good."
>You feel a deep sense of unease stir within you.
>"Surprised to see us?"
"No."
>"Then you're aware of it."
"Of what?"
>Diamond motions between herself, Silver, and you.
>"Our connection."
>She continues, taking a step forward.
>"I don't fully understand how it happened... some aspect of you appealed to us, something roguish or brash, whatever happened is at this point irrelevant what matters is that whatever happened, happened for a reason."
"And what reason is that?"
>"We fell in love with you, Mister Anonymous, we watched you shower - with a certain satisfaction might we add - and then something happened, something we knew was impossible but it happened anyway."
>She glowers at you.
>"You didn't reciprocate our feelings, Mister Anonymous."
>Oh, so that's who the love-letter was from.
>The filly wets her lips, still taking steps towards you, shadowed by Silver Spoon.
>"Afterward, we knew the rules, we knew what we were -supposed- to do, but we -didn't-."
>She shudders.
>"We couldn't."
>You tense your muscles and clench your fist.
>"We were compelled to stay, compelled to disobey."
>The two tiny mares are stood at your feet, gazing up at you.
>"And now here we stand because of -you-, Mister Anonymous, because of you we're no longer law abiding citizens."
>A grin stretches across Diamond's face.
>"We're insane, we're unhinged! New mares! So to speak, unlike you we're apparently... nuts!"
"Congratulations."
>"Thank you."
>A dark look washes over her as she gets more serious.
>"But, as you know, appearances can be deceiving, which brings me back to the reason why we're here. We're not here because we're loved, we're here because we're UNloved. There's no escaping affection, no denying love, because without love... we would probably be back at home playing with dolls or something."
"Yeah dude you're like ten or something, you need to go home."
>"Eh, we'd rather rape you."
>Then two tiny horses latch onto you and you do battle in your living room.
>Unfortunately, you lose, and then Diamond Tiara sticks her hoof in your chest and you turn into a copy of her before the three of you go outside to remake Equestria in your image and stop the Matrix from repeating itself again.

Yeah it probably wasn't the Keanu Reeves movie the Anon was originally thinking of.

---

"Write Something"
 - Anonymous.
---

>Fluttershy clears her throat.
>You fold your arms and lean against the doorframe, your wandering eyes studying the area around your porch as you wait for the mare to collect herself.
>She wets her lips and coughs into her hoof.
>Your fingers rap along your left arm.
>"Okay..."
>She sucks in a deep breath and studies her paper one more time, then looks you in the eyes.
>"Something."
>The pegasus fixes you with a semi-confident smile.
>Blink a few times.
"I'm sorry?"
>She glances at the paper again, her confidence quickly dwindling.
>"S-something...?"
"Is that... it?"
>"Well yeah?"
"What the hell?"
>She gives a distressed whine.
>"You told me to write something!"
>She shows you the paper.
>"I even wrote it in cursive!"
>Glance at the paper.
>She actually did as well.
>An impressive feat for someone who has to write with her mouth.
>"So um, is it your fetish...?"
>She wrote cursive.
>With her mouth.
>...
>Kinda makes you wonder what kind of tongue control it would take to have to do that.
>...
>You crane your neck out, surveying the area for any onlookers or witnesses.
>Hesitantly, you step aside and motion inside the house.
"Just this once, Fluttershy."
>She happily skips past you as you loosen your tie and shut the door behind you.

"Just this once."

---

(The shorts retrieved from the archives start here)

---

"Write something"
 - Anonymous, for a second time.

>Fluttershy clears her throat.
>You fold your arms and lean against the doorframe, your wandering eyes studying the area around your porch as you wait for the mare to collect herself.
>She wets her lips and coughs into her hoof.
>Your fingers rap along your left arm.
>"Okay..."
>She sucks in a deep breath and studies her paper one more time, then looks you in the eyes.
>"Something."
>The pegasus fixes you with a semi-confident smile.
>Blink a few times.
"I'm sorry?"
>She glances at the paper again, her confidence quickly dwindling.
>"S-something...?"
"Is that... it?"
>"Well yeah?"
"What the hell?"
>She gives a distressed whine.
>"You told me to write something!"
>She shows you the paper.
>"I even wrote it in cursive!"
>Glance at the paper.
>She ac--
>...
>You narrow your eyes.
"Hang on, we've done this before."
>"Huh?"
"Three years ago. We did this exact same thing, it was the only time I let you in, remember?"
>Fluttershy frowns and looks off to one side, lost in thought.
>"Oh... oh!"
>A smile works its way across her face.
>"I remember that! Oh wow, has it really been that long?"
"Hah, yeah I guess it has."
>She hums happily.
>"So um, what do you say you let me in again, for old times sake?"
>The mare bats her eyelids playfully.
>You chuckle and shake your head.
"I said it was a one-time thing, Fluttershy."
>"But we've been doing this for so long! Throw me a boner here, Anon!"
"...Was that really a play on the term 'throw me a bone'."
>"Did you like it?"
"It was lazy."
>"...But did you like it?"
"..."
>"Are bad puns your fetish?"
"..."
>"Can I come in now?"
"..."
>You step aside.
>"Woo hoo!"

---

"It gives me a warm and fuzzy feeling inside when Fluttershy wins some. I like this feeling. Please give me more."
- Anonymous, regarding Fluttershy winning on ocassion.

>"Hi Anon."
"Hi."
>"Wanna fuck?"
"Eh, got nothing better to do."

>Fluttershy frowns at the ceiling.
>You glance at her, your arms behind your head as you both lie in your thoroughly dishevelled bed.
"What's up?"
>She lets out a long breath and regards you thoughtfully.
>"I just thought it would be... better."
"Hey fuck you I did grea--"
>"No no no, I'm not saying I didn't enjoy it."
>She giggles, her eyes lighting up.
>"I mean, -wow-, the sex was amazing! But I mean, I just thought it would be -better-."
"I'm... not following you."
>She shrugs.
>"How long have we been doing this now?"
"The sex? Like an hour or someth--"
>"No, dummy, -this-."
>She motions between the two of you with a hoof.
>"Us. This cat and mousey thing."
"Mousey."
>"Mouse, whatever."
"Like a year?"
>"That long already? Wow, but yeah I've been chasing you for so long and then you just sorta... gave up?"
"Well I mean it's been a slow day and Rarity's not been putting out lately."
>"Rarity?"
"Oh sure, she and I are friends-with-benefits."
>"Oh. I see. Excuse me."
>Fluttershy reveals a notepad and pencil from seemingly nowhere.
>It's full of crossed off names.
>She scribbles 'Rarity' at the bottom of them, then hides the notepad again.
>"Sorry-- but really? Rarity?"
"Been going on for about 4 months, I think."
>"Oh."
>The notepad returns.
>She circles 'Rarity' several times.
>You watch her put it back with vague concern.
"So anyway what's your point with all this?"
>"I don't know."
>She huffs.
>"I suppose I just got used to the thrill of the chase."
"Yeah?"
>"Yeah. Now that I have you, I don't feel as invested."
>You ponder for a second.
"...Want me to throw you out the window and scream at you to never come near my house again?"
>She smiles warmly at you.
>"I'd like that."

>She hits the ground like a sack of spuds.
"DON'T YOU EVER COME NEAR MY FUCKING HOUSE EVER AGAIN."
>"I-I'll be back! And I'll get you next time!"
"LIKE HELL YOU WILL!"
>She gives you a small wave and flies off into the distance.
>You offer a timid wave back as she goes.
>Smile to yourself.
>She's alright, that Fluttershy.

>Rarity is found dead three days later from multiple stab wounds.
>The killer is never found.

---

"where's the fleetfoot rape story at?"
 - Anonymous, pondering where in fact the Fleetfoot rape stories are at.

>"Anonymous, I have arrived."
>You close your pocket watch and run your thumb along its embossed golden face.
"Very well."
>Pivoting on your perfectly polished leather shoe, you face your visitor with a graceful, sophisticated posture.
>The mare before you meets your eyes with her own, steely expression.
>Her demeanour carries a certain confidence that few ponies possess.
>Suffice to say, you like her already.
"Speak; my time is seldom wasted."
>"I am Fleetfoot, wonderbolt and serial rapist."
>You cock an eyebrow at her.
"A serial rapist? That is troubling. One would assume that such confessions are best kept concealed?"
>She takes a measured step forward, her eyes still locked onto yours.
>"That is ordinarily the case, however the circumstances that be have taken me down a more desperate path."
"And what circumstances are those?"
>"I have entered my cycle, and desire a mate."
>You gesture a hand towards one of the windows lining your study.
"There are many potential mates outside this very building, a mare of your prestige shall not meet much disappointment should you choose to take your pick."
>"Alas, they do not reach my standards, which are very tall."
"Do you not mean 'high'?"
>"I do, and I do not. My standards are high in quality, but tall in nature, which is precisely what I consider you to be, sir."
"I am indeed tall, and I do indeed keep myself to a high standard."
>You rub your bearded chin with a hand, fingers gently caressing the well-trimmed bristles.
"It seems we are at an impasse; you desire a mate, and I desire peace and tranquillity whilst I peruse my many pornographic reading materials."
>You gesture to a nearby fireplace.
>Before it, a high-backed armchair rests beside a small stand, upon which are a dozen neatly stacked lewd magazines of ill repute.
>Fleetfoot nods in understanding.
>"An unfortunate predicament, to be sure, but it must be done."
>She marches towards you, her wings unfurling as she comes.
>You set your pocket watch in your breast pocket and sigh.
"So shall it be, adversary."
>She places a hoof against your leg and strokes up once.
>"Do you approve of my touch without consent?"
"It is a sordid display, cease immediately."
>She strokes down.
>"Yet again I make contact."
"Yet again I must protest; relent these perverse actions."
>She rises from the ground, her wings fluttering gently.
>Once eye-level with you, she plants a determined, loveless kiss on your lips.
>Neither of you move a muscle as the two of you experience your respective lips making contact.
>She pulls back, still looking at you with resolute conviction.
>"Delectable."
"Abhorrent."
>"Now the main event shall transpire, dare I ask: will you be resisting?"
"To do so would be uncivilised and beneath me. No, I shall accept this fate with a stiff upper-lip and be done with it. My only request is that you carry out your whorish objectives with utmost haste, I would insist that you leave within twenty minutes, as I have a meeting with a delegate from the Walrus Empire on my agenda."
>"I understand, and will respect your wishes. Let it begin."

>And so it occurs.
>And there is a great deal of sweat.
>And a great deal of moaning, though said moaning is kept to a responsible volume so as not to attract any undue attention from eavesdropping maids or gardeners.

>"It is done, and with five minutes to spare before your delegate arrives."
"A tiresome and reprehensible quest, though one I am glad to see through. Be gone from this place, Fleetfoot, I shall have nothing more to do with you."
>"Very well. I am to return annually henceforth."
"May I ask that you do not?"
>"You may, but that is not a promise I can keep in good conscience, I'm afraid."
"Damnable knave."
>"Now now, such language is uncalled for."
>She turns to leave.
>"Farewell, Anonymous, may the rest of your day be thoroughly unmolested."
>With that, she leaves.

Curse that Fleetfoot, with all her raping and such-what.

---

Anonymous posted a picture of Fluttershy hugging Anon

>"Are hugs your fetish?"
>You stare blankly at Fluttershy.
>"..."
"..."
>"Um, I-I said are hugs your fe--"
"Yes."
>Her eyes light up.
>"Really?! Oh my goodness, s-so can we--"
"Yes."
>"HAHAHA! I can't believe that worked! It was so simple this whole time!"
>She launches herself into your arms.
>"All that money wasted on latex and lube, and all you needed was a hug!"
>You wrap your arms tightly around her.
>"Oh Anon, never let me go!"
"Don't worry."
>Squeeze her.
"I won't."
>She sighs happily.
>Then shuffles slightly.
>She makes an uncomfortable noise and wriggles in your arms a bit.
>"Um, s-sorry, you're just um, squeezing me a bit too tight."
"I thought you wanted hugging, Fluttershy, isn't this what you want?"
>"Anon you're hurting me, please stop."
>Instead, you crush her against your chest.
>She lets out a distressed wheeze, the air in her lungs forced out of her.
>A strangled "Anon!" is all she can muster as you tense your arms and begin pressing the frail mare into your chest as hard as you possibly can.
>Tears stain her cheeks as she regards you with a forlorn look.
>Betrayal dances in her eyes, she's pleading with you to stop.
>But you can't. You have to see this through.
>Fluttershy's body begins to sink into your chest in a strange display of osmosis.
>You feel her essence mix with yours.
>Both of your souls becoming intertwined.
>Her thoughts become yours, and yours hers.
>Eventually, both yourself and Fluttershy are no more.
>What stands instead is a strange human/pony hybrid.
>Male, with yellow skin and two huge glorious wings.
>You regard your hands with interest, and crane your neck to inspect your wings.
>Flapping them a few times, you effortlessly lift yourself off the ground.
>You frown at your new, ascended form.
"Fuck, I wanted to kill her."

---

I wrote a story that was supposed to be funny but just came off as depressing, and not in a good way. I wrote the following to make up for it.

>As your drag your feet down the hall and towards the racket at the front of your house, you turn your tired eyes to the ageing grandfather clock in your hallway.
>It's 5:00 in the morning.
>Drag a hand down your face, stretching it and trying to wake yourself up.
>Dressed in a nightgown and not much else, you open your front door.
>"HI NONNERPUSS!"
>The rapidly vibrating pink entity on your doorstep vibrates more intensely as you regard her with a droopy, tired expression.
"...Pinkie Pie..."
>"Yup! I know it's kinda early, but I really -really- wanted to introduce you to someone!"
"It's five in the morning, Pinkie..."
>"It's five o'clock? Well what a coincidence because I've got fiiiive reasons for you to meet someone!"
>You realise now that Pinkie is still dressed in what appear to be pyjamas.
>Beside her, however, is a pony that looks considerably more aware of your disgruntlement.
>Though she too is dressed in pyjamas.
>Pinkie wraps an arm around the other mare and pulls her in close for a side-hug.
>"Anon, this is my sister - Maud!"
>You raise your eyebrows in surprise.
"I... didn't know you had a sister."
>"I actually have three! Can you believe it?!"
"No, actually, you've never--"
>"But Maud here was just DYING to meet you! Say hello, Maud!"
>She looks excitedly at her sister.
>Both you and Maud size each other up.
>She opens her mouth and addresses you in a monotone, listless manner.
>"Hello."
"Uh, hi."
>...
>Pinkie looks between the two of you, eagerly.
>Maud blinks slowly, her eyes trailing down you, then back to your face.
>"I like your dressing gown. It's grey."
>...
"Do you... like grey?"
>"Yes. It reminds me of rocks."
"...Do you like rocks?"
>"Yes."
>...
"...Well alright then."
>Pinkie beams.
>"You two are gonna be such -great- friends! I can't believe I didn't think about introducing you sooner!"
>Maud turns to Pinkie.
>"You don't need to watch me, Pinkie, I'll be fine on my own."
>Pinkie snorts and rolls her eyes exaggeratedly.
>"Oh yeah, you tooootally don't need me here at all, Maud."
>She gives her sister a huge wink.
>Maud just stares at her.
>"Yes. That's what I just said. You don't need to be here."
>Pinkie smirks.
>"Ohhh I get it, I'll DEFINITELY just be going now."
>Another wink.
>Maud remains statuesque.
>"Yes. I'll see you back at the bakery, Pinkie Pie."
>Pinkie winks.
>Then does it again.
>She just keeps winking at her sister.
"Pinkie are you okay?"
>She starts winking at you.
>One of her eyes is trained on both you and Maud at the same time.
>It's deeply unnerving.
>Eventually she does actually leave, slinking into the bushes nearby, still winking the whole time.
>That leaves you alone with Maud.
>Unsure of what to do, you puff out your cheeks and stretch your arms, letting them swing by your sides.
"So uhh, no offence, but I'm major tired, so I gotta sleep. See you later?"
>Maud replies without hesitation.
>"It was a pleasure meeting you Major Tired."
"Wh--"
>You give her a wry smile, wagging a finger at her.
"Alright, alright, I'll give you that one. But really, I have to go to sleep."
>"So do I. Pinkie woke me up."
>She trots past you and into your house.
>Then straight up the stairs.
"The fuck?"
>Look around at the area to make sure there's no one looking.
>Then retreat back inside and shut the door, following Maud.
>You find her stood in the middle of your bedroom, watching the door as if waiting for you to come in.
"Um, sorry, did I miss something? It was nice meeting you but you'll have to leave, I'm afraid."
>"Pinkie said I could sleep wherever I wanted to in Ponyville because everyone is friends with each other."
"Well I mean, do you -believe- her when she says something that daft?"
>"Yes."
>...
"Oh."
>"May I sleep in your bed?"
>You force out a laugh.
"Okay, funny mare, I see the joke you're pulling here, but you really have to go."
>You march towards her and put your hands on your hips, doing your best to tower over and intimidate her.
"Now please leave, or I'll be forced to remove you."
>She just stands there, daring you to move.
>Her lifeless, perpetually half-lidded eyes watching you with apparent disinterest.
>You shuffle uncomfortably.
"Alright, don't say I didn't warn you."
>You reach down and wrap your arms around her, preparing to pick her up like you would a small dog.
>Only, you can't lift her.
>You frown, steadily readjust your position and hand-placement, then try again.
>But strain as you might, Maud remains glued to the floor.
>You huff and heave, putting everything into trying to shift the little pony, but to no avail.
>Maud stares at the wall behind you as you grunt, growl, and grimace.
>"If you keep straining you'll hurt your back."
>That dull, unexciting tone is starting to annoy you.
"Okay, seriously. It's five in the morning, and I want a few more hours of sleep, so if you don't get out, I'm gonna get violent."
>Maud blinks at you.
>You clench your fist.
"I don't want to hurt you."
>"Then don't."
"I-- bu-- you're in my house!"
>"Yes."
"And I don't want you to be!"
>She waits for a few seconds.
>Then you think you see the faintest shadow of a smile.
>"Then move me."
>You glare down at her.
"One more warning."
>She remains silent.
"Please don't make me do this."
>You draw your fist back, telegraphing your movements as deliberately as you can.
"Maud I'm serious, if you don't leave I'll--"
>"You talk a lot. More than my sister."
>She glances at the floorboards and puts a hoof to her chin.
>"Actually you don't talk more than my sister."
>...
>"She talks a lot."
>...
"Right. Fine. Okay."
>You swing at her face, aiming to hit her right in the cheek.
>But the moment your fist touches her face, something odd happens.
>You know that about a quarter of a second ago you were punching her.
>Though now you feel only pain, all sound has become muted, and you're on your back gawking at the ceiling as agony courses through your entire body.
>Maud stands over you, her eyes still half-lidded, and a red mark on her cheek.
>"That really hurt."
"Y-yeah."
>You try to move.
>It feels like you just got hit by a car.
"It did."
>"Don't do that."
"Noted... ffffuck."
>"Do you need help?"
>She offers you a hoof.
>You give her a hopeless look, then accept her stuck-out leg.
>Rising to your feet, you stagger over to your bed and faceplant onto it, sighing in exasperated resignation.
>Maud slips in next to you.
>Before she tucks herself in, she carefully reaches into her pyjamas and retrieves a small stone, which she places on the bedside cabinet.
>"Boulder will guard us while we sleep, I will be the little spoon."
"What do you mean little--"
>She cuddles up to you, her back against your chest, and wraps your arm around herself.
>You awkwardly hold her like that, your arm as rigid as the pony it's draped around.
>She doesn't seem visibly excited by the cuddling, and instead lies there with her eyes open.
>You're not sure what to do, so you glance at the pebble she put on the dresser.
>You feel it watching and judging you.
>Maud's breathing is so light it's barely noticeable.
>Eventually she speaks up.
>"This is nice."
"Um. Sure?"
>"Thank you for letting me sleep in your bed. Pinkie Pie snores."
"You're... welcome?"
>...
>"Next week we can visit my parents."
"Wait what the fuck--"

>In a tree outside, Pinkie sighs happily as she watches her you and her sister 'cuddle'.
>"I always knew she'd find someone eventually."
>She sniffs and wipes her eyes with a hoof.
>"I love happy endings!"

---

"Short Storys sounds like the name of some mediocre OC."
 - Anonymous, not realising what he would eventually set into motion.

>"Hey."
"Uh, hi."
>You turn back to your book.
>The mare waits for a little while, her lack of noise the most obvious thing in the room.
>You glance back at her.
>She stares back.
"Can I... help you?"
>"Oh I was just seeing what you were reading, Top Ten Ways To Kill Yourself?"
"Yeah, it's got some great hints."
>She takes a seat across from you, the library around you noticeably empty apart from the two of you.
>The mare adjusts her glasses and fixes her frazzled, unkept mane into something slightly more respectable.
>"Cool. I'm Short Storys by the way."
"Even though I've only heard you say it I feel like your name is spelt incorrectly."
>"Lots of ponies say that."
"So uh, what do you do for a living?"
>"I write novellas, they're okay, I guess, I've won a few awards."
"That's... nice. Well, it was lovely speaking to you miss--"
>"Here's one now."
>She pulls a small book from her saddlebag and carelessly casts it onto the table before you.
>' Picking Up Stallions: How To Make A Total Stranger Give You A Rimjob In A Public Bathroom. '
>You reread the title a few times, then slowly turn your gaze up to Short Storys.
>She winks back.
"I ah, have a marefriend."
>"No you don't, I checked, listen, I need to go to the little fillies room - it's just down the hall over there - you'd better not come and interrupt me whilst I'm at my most vulnerable."
>With that, she pushes her book closer to you and leaves, looking over her shoulder at you several times as she goes.
>Is she serious?
>How stupid does she think you are?
>...
>Well, she was a solid 6/10. Maybe 7 on a good day.
>...
>You close your book and check around the library before hurriedly going after her.
>Thank god Fluttershy doesn't know that frumpy female writers with a kinky side are your fetish.

(Short Storys would later return in Flutterrape LTD)
(https://ponepaste.org/920)