Synopsis: Anon just wants to sit on his goddamn bench.

>You are Anon, currently in Ponyville Park.
>Relaxing on a bench, the sun is shining, the skies are clear.
>It's a truly wonderful day.
>Nothing could ruin—you notice Lyra trotting up to you.
>She gives you her trademark grin.
>"Hey Anon!"
"Hey Lyra, wonderful weather we're having."
>"Yeah."
>A bit of time passes.
>"So."
>A bit more time passes.
>"You're sitting on my bench."
"Oh, well there's enough room for two."
>You scooch over to give her some room.
>She continues to just stare at you.
>"That's my bench."
"…Alright. If it bothers you that much, I'll find somewhere else to sit."
>"You have to pay the bench fine."
"The what?"
>"The bench fine, for sitting on my bench without asking."
>You want to call her out on her bullshit, but you don't actually know how Equestrian laws work.
>Twilight gave you a few books to read on the subject but you ain't got time for that nerd shit.
>In hindsight, you should've figured this'd eventually bite you on the ass.
>…You might as well get this settled now. God knows these kinds of things will always get worse if you leave it.
"Alright, fine. What do I owe you?"
>"100 bits."
>One hundred fucking—
"Lyra I don't have that kind of—"
>"—O-or, or you could give me a kiss."
>So that's her game, huh.
"…Fine, come on up."
>Letting out a giddy squeak, she immediately hops up to the spot beside you on the bench.
>Turning to face you, she closes her eyes, and puckers her lips in an exaggerated manner, eagerly anticipating your next action.
>You lean in…
>And give her a quick, chaste peck on the cheek.
"There, fine paid."
>Slowly, she opens her eyes, disappointment clear on her features.
>She stares past you for a few moments, before speaking up again.
>"Y-you're still sitting on my bench."
"So?"
>"That's a repeat offence."
>Leaning into your side, she continues.
>"300 bits. Or…"
>She begins to trail a hoof up your leg, across your thigh, towards your—
"NOPE!"
>Quickly throwing her minty body off your person, you make to sprint out of the park.
>"W-wait! The fine! Y-you have to pay the—BON BON GET HIM!"
>A blood-curdling battle cry catches your attention as a cream-coloured mare launches herself out of a nearby tree, attempting to hit you with an elbow drop.
>It barely misses you.
"Holy FUCK."
>Redoubling your efforts, you absolutely bolt it back to your house, not looking back.
>As soon as you make it back home you barricade your front door, just to be safe.
>Taking a moment to catch your breath, you make a resolution to yourself.
>You are never sitting on a bench ever again.
>Fucking Lyra.
>Fucking BENCHES.