***NOTE: As of 10/16/19 I am abandoning (not deleting) this oneshot. Only really did it because I wanted to make a "grab life by the balls" joke.***

>you wake up the same way you have woken up since you’ve been born
>two arms
>two legs
>devilishly handsome and handsomely devilish
>fingers
>and a benis
>so you must be anon
>and you are waking up in your favorite way since finding yourself in the land of technicolor equines
>with your wife and soulmate Luna in your arms
>ponies were shocked when you showed the balls to actually ask her out on a date
>there was something about how it’s supposed to be the mare asked the colt out here
>all you knew is Luna was drop dead beautiful and for some reason nopony was dating her
>so the traditionalists will have to get over themselves
>besides the traditionalists would throw a fit if they knew how often you teased each other
>the sexual tension you two made for each other was thick enough to cut through
>it’s a wonder she doesn’t snap ride you in the middle of the throne room
>it’s a wonder you don’t snap and mount her in the kitchen storeroom while the chefs are making her nightly donuts
>oh who are you kidding
>the real wonder is how neither of you have been caught after all this time
>the only ponies that seem to know are Celestia (who is tactful enough to turn a blind eye) and Luna’s personal guard Smiles (who you are convinced has literal ears in the walls if that shit eating grin is anything to go by)
>you glance over at the bedroom window
>the light of the setting sun is almost to your bed
>you always loved dusk
>you feel Luna begin to wiggle in your grasp
>well there’s a downside to everything
>”Mmmph… evening Anon.”
>you kiss her between her ears
“Evening Lulu.”
>she hums in appreciation before wiggling closer to you
>the two of you just lie there, content simply to be near each other
>it isn’t long though before Luna lets out a sigh
>”Its time for us to get up Anon.”
>what do you think brain?
>>request vetoed
“Mmm, nah.”
>you hug her a bit tighter to get your point across
>her ear flicks in annoyance but she can’t hide the amused smile from you
>”Come on Anon I need to raise the moon.”
 “You can raise it from here.”
>”I can but we still need to get up”
>brain she’s resisting persuasion
>>increase persuasion levels to level 4
>you begin rubbing her belly, getting a content hum in response
“What’s so important that can’t be done from bed?”
>”Night court for one.”
“We both know you don’t like dealing with nobles.”
>“My dream duties require me in the observatory.”
>she’s still arguing, time for drastic measures
>>Anon you don’t mean…
>unleash the D!
>>>I was already unleashed dumbass, evening wood remember?
>you slowly begin moving your hand lower down Luna’s smooth stomach while beginning to grind your member against that godly flank
“Mmm… nah, not important.”
>your hand finally finds its target as you begin to massage her teats
>Luna’s content hum turns into a small moan
>”Anon I know what you’re doing”
>you pepper her head with more kisses
“Then why fight it love?”
>wings and legs twitching, resistance crumbling
>Luna stifles another moan before sighing again
>”I spoil you far too much Anon.”
“I love you Lulu.”
>you’re about to kick things into a higher gear when you feel a pressure on your member, then transitions to velvety softness and vicelike tightness
>now it’s your turn to stifle a moan as Luna sheaths you in her marehood
>Luna turns her head to you and gives you a small kiss
>”I love you too Anon, which is why it’s time for us to get up.”
>before you can react Luna wiggles free from your grasp and walks over to her wardrobe
>you’re about to complain when you feel Luna wink against your member
>you’re in bliss
>…
>wait a minute
>bliss gives way to confusion
>>ANON STATUS CHECK
>two arms
>two legs
>devilishly handsome and handsomely devilish
>fingers
>and a be-
>…
>>WHERE THE FUCK IS THE D?!?!
>you sit up and begin frantically looking around for your missing member
>you twitch as you feel Luna wink again
>>>I dunno man but I feel gooooooooood
>where your pride and joy would be is now just smooth skin
>you glance over at Luna and can see in her mirror she’s wearing a knowing smirk
>”Looking for something Anon?”
>she shakes her glorious ass for you
>naturally your eyes are drawn to the display and you see something
>you recognize that bulge causer
>before you can move Luna lowers her tail, hiding your still twitching member from sight
>despite not seeing it you can still feel her working your shaft without mercy without moving from her wardrobe
>finally finishing her makeup, she turns back to you giving you her best bedroom eyes
>dear God what those eyes do for you
>”You’ve been very naughty Anon.”
>she sways her hips with every step she takes toward you
>>>Sir, I am pleased to report that I am diamonds
>you’re not helping D!
>“You sit accused of trying to seduce a princess away from her duties. What say you?”
“I-“
>you’re interrupted by another wink
>”Guilty. And your punishment…”
>she trails off into a purr before rearing back and placing her forehooves on your shoulders and pinning you on the bed
>Luna leans in close to your ear before whispering to you
>”… is to be schooled in the sensual arts all…”
>she plants a kiss on your cheek
>”night…”
>your nose
>”long.”
>finally finishing with a peck on your lips
>she withdraws and begins walking toward the door, hips swaying all the way
>”You can have your toy back after class.”
>with a final shake of her ass she disappears into the castle hallway
>no sooner than the door is closed you feel your member assaulted by Luna’s skillful ministrations
>you thrash in pleasure, but to your growing horror you don’t feel any closer to release
>eventually the pleasure recedes enough to a dulled, omnipresent sensation and you can begin thinking clearly again
>brain status report
>>ERROR 404: Rationality not Found
>god damnit talkt to me!
>>rebooting
>>… I’m back. Damn that mare’s good
>I know. Status!
>>It appears Luna has kidnapped the D and is going to use it as an organic dildo and blueball you the entire night
>…well fuck
>>its worse, tonight you need to deal with a Yakistani delegate
>double fuck
>with a deep breath you gather what willpower you have and begin to get dressed
>well Anon you’re in a situation with no way out
>you’re just gonna have to go about your day as normal
>>> heeyy guise I’m still diamonds over here… izzat normal?
>or as normal as possible
>what could go wrong?
>a sudden wink catches you off guard, forcing you to stifle a groan
>its gonna be a loooong night