Synopsis: The Pie bloodline must survive.

>"You have to fuck my sister, Nonny."
>Pinkie has Marble Pie's rear end aimed at you; she's holding her like a bazooka.
>Marble looks over her shoulder at you; the poor thing looks terrified.
>You stand in the middle of Ponyville Town Square; ponies walk by without giving the three of you a second glance, ready to write this situation off as just another one of Pinkie's antics.
>You're not willing to approach this state of affairs with the same amount of leniency, however.
"Pinkie, why are you trying to shove your sister's ass in my face?"
>The pink mare sets her sibling down, tilting her head at you in confusion.
>"Huh? Don't you remember the Pinkie Promise you made?"
"I don't recall making any promise involving your sister's cheeks."
>Pinkie frowns at you.
>"Come on, Nonny, it's the Pinkie Promise you made when you said you'd continue the Pie bloodline in return for that gazebo I lent you! I'm cashing that promise in!"
>Oh, the gazebo thing, right—wait—
"Wait—what? I thought you said that you wanted me to help you continue the Paiblud line of cakes! They were delicious!"
>"Nope! Now you gotta fuck my sister, Nonny!"
"This is a setup! I demand a do-over—"
>A sudden chill runs down your spine.
>"You're not planning on breaking a Pinkie Promise, are you, Anon?"
>Pinkie is enveloped in a menacing aura, and esoteric symbols start to float around her.
>"Because if you are…"
>She slowly ascends into the air. Her eyes glow with an ominous light; the veil thins.
>You can faintly hear the theme of the Pillar Men in the background, and it's getting louder.
"N-no! Of course not! Wouldn't dream of it, Pinkie!"
>Reality returns to what it was.
>"Good."
"But—but just hold on a minute, Pinkie."
>She squints her eyes at you.
>"Yes?"
"W-well, the Pinkie Promise is just to continue the bloodline, right? So I…I could continue it with any one of you, yeah?"
>"Well, I guess so, but…"
"So what about Maud?"
>"Uh, Nonny? She's got a boyfriend, don't you remember?"
"I try not to, to be honest."
>"Maud's not gonna cheat on her boyfriend. Once you get with a Pie mare, she stays with you forever! Not even death will do you part!"
>She grabs Marble Pie, who has slowly been shuffling away from the both of you (she managed to move a whole inch) and pushes her towards you.
>"Fooooreeeeveeeer!"
"Aha…great."
>So that also counts her hot mom out, damn.

"What about you, Pinkie?"
>Pinkie laughs.
>"I mean, you're a great human and all, Nonny, but you're not really my type."
"And yet you don't care about who *my type* is."
>"What do you mean? I thought you'd like Marble. Don't you like shy mares?"
"I have no clue why you would think that."
>Actually, you have a pretty good inkling, but you might as well hear it from the horse's mouth.
>"Because you hang out with Fluttershy all the time!"
>You shudder at the mention of The Quiet One.
"And *she* is exactly why I don't want to settle down with a shy mare. Fluttershy is insane, Pinkie. You've only seen a fraction of the shit I've seen her pull."
>"Aw, come on, Nonny! She's not…that…"
>Pinkie scrunches her snout slightly.
>"…Well, anyway! Marble isn't like that! She wouldn't molest a fly! Not even if it was a delicious fly that shoots out candy when you pleasure it! Mmmm, candy fly…"
>She starts drooling.
>You shake your head.
"Mares like her are off their rocker. Beneath that quiet facade, a terrible, lustful darkness lurks within. If I never see a shy mare again, it'll be too soon.
>You see Marble's ears droop.
"Ah…no offence, Marble."
>"Mmm…"
>You turn back to Pinkie, who has snapped out of her theoretical-bug-induced stupor.
"What about Octavia?"
>Pinkie starts sweating.
>"W-what? What do you mean by that, Nonny-non Nons? Octavia isn't a Pie pony, ahah—hah!"
>"Did somepony call for me?"
>Octavia walks onto the scene with a curious expression.
"Hey, quick question, Tavi. Pinkie's got me wrapped up in one of her promises and I was just wondering—you're part of the Pie family, right?"
>"Well—"
>"You shouldn't be here! You should be back at Canterlot! LET ME HELP YOU!"
>Pinkie suddenly lunges at Octavia, tackling her to the ground.
>Lifting her up by her hindlegs, Pinkie performs a giant swing, launching a screaming Octavia all the way to Canterlot.
>"Nobody can know about you and the Pies! NOBODY! YOU HEAR ME!?"
>Pinkie's abrupt act of aggression shakes you to your core.
>It shakes you so much that you can't even bring yourself to correct her on the fact that she used "nobody" instead of "nopony."
>You look on in concern as the grey speck in the distance crashes into one of the ivory spires, leaving a crater that's visible even from where you're standing in Ponyville.
>…She's probably fine, she's a Pi—actually, best not continue that line of thought.
>Looking at Pinkie, you see that her mane is frazzled and she's hyperventilating, and she continues to do so for a straight minute.
>Once her minute is up, her mane miraculously poofs back into a pristine state and she shifts back into her usual chipper demeanour as she turns to face you two.

>"Okay! Back to business, Nonny! Pie bloodline! You, Marble—hanky panky!"
>She performs some kind of lewd gesture where she repeatedly jabs the frog of her left hoof with the wall of her right.
>You look at Marble and she appears to shrink even further into herself; you feel kind of bad that Pinkie's forced her to be a part of this.
>Well, there's only one option left here.
"What about…"
>"Nonny."
>Pinkie takes on an unusually fearful tone as she shoots you a pleading look.
>"Don't."
"But I—"
>"It's not worth it, Nonny! It's not worth it!"
>For a moment, you consider her wise words of warning, but then you look back at Marble, who is shaking with *some* sort of emotion.
>Does she even want this? Actually, you're not really sure; she *could* be super wet right now, but you don't want to take that risk.
>You may be an Anonymous shitposter, but you like to consider yourself a morally upstanding guy, all things considered.
>This is /flutterrape/, not /rapemarble/.
>So you steel your nerves as you utter the words that will undoubtedly change your life forever.
"What about Limestone."
>Pinkie's eyes widen and the air around you becomes still.
>She promptly drops down onto her belly, positioning one of her ears right next to the ground.
"Pinkie…?"
>You note that the ambient chatter that surrounded your trio has stopped; looking around, you can't see any other ponies wandering the streets of Ponyville, which is strange considering it's the middle of the day.
>"Sis, we need to leave. Now."
>"M-mhmm…"
>You turn to look back at the duo and they've already disappeared.
>In fact, everypony's disappeared.
>The stalls have been cleared, the doors are locked, and ambience is deathly quiet.
"Where did everybody go? Bingo?"
>You feel a light tremoring beneath your feet—an earthquake?
>There's a rumbling noise coming in from the distance.
>It's coming from the south-west.
>You head over in that direction, not a single pony to be seen along the way.
>Standing at the south-western edge of Ponyville, you find yourself a good vantage point to survey the horizon, trying your best not to lose your footing to the increasing magnitude of the tremors.
>There in the distance, you see it: an enormous, mobile dust cloud far away, but it's getting closer fast—very fast.
>A stampede is coming.
>You pull out your trusty set of binoculars to get a closer look.
>…That's not a stampede.
>The veritable speeding sandstorm is all the result of just one earth pony—a grey mare with a grey mane.
>You zoom in further.
>There are hearts in her eyes.
>You lower your binoculars.
"Mother of God…"
>Fear roots you in place.
>But you know there's no point in running, regardless.
>She can't be outran; she can't be overpowered; she can't be reasoned with.
>All that's left is to accept your fate.
>Because pretty soon you're gonna be—
>Fucking Limestone Pie.