> Be Femanon, sitting at the register of Carousel Beautique
> There's never all that much walk-in business, so you are free to work on the draft of your next novel
> It's been interesting, seeing how slash tropes are received in pony society
> Soulmates is considered a sweet, if heavy handed way of getting two hot stallions together
> Fake marriage does not really translate well, due to herd culture
> Crossdressing (using illusion magic) and adding a mare to the herd makes fake marriage go from unpalatable to absurd amounts of pandering
> You had thought that the public wasn't ready for Alpha Omega yet, but you might be wrong about that
> Perhaps you should go with sentinel and guide first?
> It all makes you a little homesick, knowing that you probably won't see your friends again
> You miss their stories, in all their fluffy and filthy glory
> To a lesser extent you also miss the casual makeouts when you were between boyfriends, but Rarity and Fluttershy are happy to help with that
> The bells on the door ring, signalling the presence of a customer
> You look up to find Bunny Gym trotting excitedly towards you
> One of the regulars, he likes to get new fitness clothes once the sweat stains on the old ones stop washing out
"Bunbun, it's so good to see you!"
> He grins
> "It's good to see you too, Fem! Listen, there's something you've got to see!"
> You raise your eyebrows
"Oh? What might that be?"
> He wiggles impatiently
> "Fluttershy found another human, and it's a guy!"
> Your eyes go wide
> Another human?
> Maybe he knows how to get back home?
> You quickly step into the backroom and call out to Rarity
"I've got to go, Fluttershy found another human!"
> Rarity pokes her head out of her inspiration room and smiles at you
> "By all means, Darling. Perhaps you want to fix your mane before you see him?"
> Might as well
"Thanks, Rares."
> You trot over to the body-length mirror, smoothing down the fabric of your black pencil skirt
> You look at your reflection, patting down stray hairs, carding your fingers through your bangs
> You stare critically at the white buttondown blouse that subtly accents your not inconsiderable bust
> Frankly, you've gotten too used to no one looking 
> You tug your bra straps into place, then fasten the second button of your blouse
> Bunny nods seriously behind you
> "Looks good. Ready to go?"
> You take a deep breath, set your shoulders back, and stare your reflection in the eyes
"I'm ready."

> You find him a couple streets away, sweet sweet Fluttershy trotting at his side
> He's...
> You slump ever so slightly
> He's somewhat chubby, maybe a little shorter than you, and his round face almost looks boyish, if it weren't for the dark circles under his eyes
> Denim shorts, a solid green t-shirt, white socks and tennis shoes
> On the plus side, he isn't wearing a trillby, and is clean shaven
> You walk towards him more reluctantly, hoping he won't be a creeper
> Bunny notices the change in your stride, but misinterprets it
> "Feeling shy? He seems like the fatherly type, you should be fine."
> You give him a strained smile
"You might be right. Why don't we find out?"
> He bumps his shoulder against your hip
> "I've got your back."
> You gaze fondly upon the little guy
> He may be a flighty guy, and a terrible gossip, but he has a good heart
> His herd is a lucky bunch of mares
> You approach, and Fluttershy nudges the man beside her
> The chubby guy looks up at you, eyes wide
> You can see his gaze flicker to your bust, then your hips, then your face
> You feel a mild sense of disgust at the attention, you had forgotten what it felt like to be checked out after two years living with ponies
> Admittedly it's not like stallions are anymore respectful when looking over say, Fluttershy
> It's just that they aren't interested in you
> It was nice at first, but after months of no one approaching you, and even more months of going on what you came to recognize as pity dates...
> Well, it is a little reassuring to know you are still attractive by human standards
> You smile politely 
"My name is Femanon, welcome to Equestria."
> He nods to you and returns the smile, blushing slightly
> "Thanks, I'm Nemo. Are there other humans besides us here?"
> You shake your head and grimace
"Not as far as we know. Minotaurs exist, so it's possible there at least were other humans long ago. Speaking of which, do you know how you got here?"
> Nemo blinks
> "Well, the kayak I was in flipped over, and dumped me into a deep part of the river. When I swam up, I came out of a pond in the forest. Does that help?"
> You sigh
"We'll have Twilight check out the pond, but whatever happened is probably gone by now. That's what happened to me on a nature hike."
> His brow furrows
> "That's pretty weird. Does that sort of thing happen often around here?"
> You shrug
"We seem to be the only sapient victims of the teleportation or whatever, so there's just not enough information to make any sort of predictions."
> Fluttershy starts to drape her wing around Nemo to comfort him
> You can see the realization on her face that she'd just be cupping his butt
> She blushes and withdraws the wing immediately
> She's so cute when she gets flustered
> Fluttershy clears her throat softly
> "Speaking of, why don't we talk to Twilight now, in case there's still traces of magic?"
> You grimace, realizing you might be delaying finding a way home
"Right, good point. You guys go on, I'll be at the beautique once you get settled."
> You trot off with a wave
> Nemo looks momentarily confused, then waves back
> "Nice to meet you!"
> You shoot him a quick, bland smile and nod
> You turn a corner and allow yourself a sigh
> "I don't think it went that badly."
> You jump, letting out an involuntary squeak
> You had forgotten about Bunny Gym
> For his part, he's giggling at your reaction
> You scowl at him
"Laugh it up, fuzzball. And for your information, I'm not interested in him, got it?"
> Bunny wipes his eyes with his hoof, still shaking with the occasional giggle
> "Got it, you don't like the patronly types. So, you good now?"
> You sigh, rolling your shoulders
> You hadn't realized you were that tense
"...yeah, I'm good. Thanks, Bun."
> He bumps his withers into your leg and you give them a pat
> "What are friends for? Keep me updated  alright?"
> You give him a playful push
"You're just in it for the gossip, you bastard."
> He grins
> "You bet I am, bitch! See you later!"
> You shake your head with a chuckle
> Good ol' Bunny Gym
> At any rate, you should probably get back to your job

> Be Rarity, trying to be professional
> You've measured plenty of stallion rump in your time as a clothes designer
> It's one of the perks of the job
> But none of those rumps were so plush and flagrant as this one
> The closest thing is Minotaur hindquarters, but they still have digigrade legs, meaning that their buttocks transition smoothly into thighs
> Not so with this flank
> His thighs stand nearly vertical, his bottom clearly delineated by fold in his flesh, the rest of his sweet ass jutting out impudently
> Staring at it from a mere foot away, you want to smack it more than you have wanted anything before
> Femanon just smirks at you, that smug witch
> She's not blameless here either, her rump is as deliciously plump and jiggly
> "Would it help if I held one end?"
> Yes, it would be helpful if somepony held Femanon down for her punishm-
> You blink
"Ah, pardon me, I was just lost in thought for a moment."
> You quickly measure the girth of his flank, doing your best to ignore how the tape digs ever so slightly into the curve of his rump
> Femanon snickers
> With all due respect, buck her
"All done. I should have the first set done by this afternoon; Femanon will drop it off at the castle."
> You ignore her indignant squawk
"Darling, are you absolutely sure you don't want anything more... decorative?"
> Nemo smiles down at you with fatherly placidity
> "We can play dress up later, I want to get a nice solid wardrobe first."
> Play dress up with him
> You mind flashes with images of Nemo draped in silk strips, or just wearing a lacy testicle bra and a smile
> You break out in a sweat
"Of course, Essentials first. Speaking off, what is your ball bra size?"
> Nemo stares at you in confusion
> "Ball bra?"
> ...
> You swallow nervously
"You know, a testicle brassiere?"
> He raises his eyebrows
> "No clue. Never worn one, so I'm not sure how essential it really is."
> Your eyes stray to his crotch
> Suddenly you understand his insistence on wearing shorts despite the summer weather 
> It'd be horribly indecent to see his balls free and jiggling as he walks
> Unimaginable
> ...
> Focus, Rarity
"How about Femanon fits you with one from my minotuar line, and you can see how you like it?"
> Nemo blushes immediately
> You turn towards Femanon with a sly smirk
> Let it not be said that you won't help a (unofficial) herd sister out
> Except that Femanon is grimacing, glancing between you and Nemo
> "Rarity, remember what I told you about the nudity taboo?"
> You had honestly forgotten, especially after so many spa trips with her
> Even so, why is she protesting at the chance to fondle some jewels?
> Something odd is going on between the two of them
"I apologize, Nemo. I didn't mean to take such liberties with you."
> He gives you a slightly pained smile
> "I don't mind, but it really isn't something she should have to see."
"Ah, well. In that case, I shall take care of it, unless there are any objections?"
> You look to Femanon, who shakes her head
> "Not from me. I'll be in the back room if you need me."
> Baffling
> You turn back to Nemo as your friend leaves the room
"Now, I for one would be delighted to get you fitted with a ball bra. If you would follow me?"
> Nemo nods hesitantly
> You lead him over to the mirror booth and start pulling one basic bra of each of the common sizes with your magic
> He stands awkwardly in the center of the mirror array, glancing at his reflections
> You float the bras before him and give him a pleasant smile 
"No need to worry, Darling. I have helped many stallions with this sort of thing. If you would remove your shorts?"
> Nemo blushes even more adorably, and unfastens his leg clothing
> You stare at the prominent tent pitched in the thin fabric of his underclothes
> You breathe shallowly, inhaling a faint yet intriguing musk
> "S-sorry, I can't help it."
> Your gaze snaps to Nemo's face, and you are shocked to see shame there
"Nemo, Darling, there is no need to apologize. Far from it, I am quite flattered. Am I truly that attractive that you would unsheath?"
> He searches your face for some sign of deceit
> "You have a beautiful voice, and well..."
> This is doing wonders for your self esteem
> You use a subtle spell to increase the volume of your tuft 
> You smile at him encouragingly
"And?"
> He turns his face away
> "Your rear is exquisite."
> You wink involuntarily
> Such a lewd, yet adorable stallion
> You trot over to make eye contact again and give him a saucy smile
"You are quite exquisite yourself, Nemo. Pardon me if I'm moving too quickly, but what would you say to a dinner date two days from now? Once you get settled?"
> He stares at you on shock
> Hmm, perhaps you were a bit too forward
> "You don't think I'm ugly?"
> What
> You huff
"Far from it. Darling, you are the very image of a lushly developed male. Anypony who tells you differently is merely jealous."
> He chuckles, and you feel your heart warm at bringing him some happiness
> "In that case, I would love to go on a date with you."
> You resist the impulse to prance in place
> Take that, mother and father!
> Your colty daughter has a date with a hot alien stallion!
> Speaking of, Nemo coughs 
> "So, is this fine, or should I take my underwear off too?"
> You blink
> Oh yes, ball bras
> You eye his erection, teasingly concealed behind thin fabric
> You are going to need all the professionalism you can muster

> Be Femanon in the kitchen, drinking a glass of water
> Is it bad that you don't want to face him right now?
> It's not his fault he's the way he looks, or that Rarity forgot what you told her
> You set the glass by the sink and sigh
> You...
> You should probably explain things to him
> And talk to Rarity
> Stallions are one thing, you can sort of pretend they're just animals, not to mention the guys hide their dicks with that sheath thing
> Even just imagining putting Nemo's balls into the cups...
> You shudder
> You never liked the yaoi with fat guys, it was always too gross
> You are pulled out of your thoughts by the sound of hoofsteps
> Rarity prances into the room, held high, a smug smile her face
> "I am delighted to inform you that I have secured a date for this Friday."
> You blink
> She can't be serious
"With Nemo?"
> She nods
> "The very same."
> You shrug and sigh
"Whatever floats your boat."
> You are a little happy for her, but you will miss her being free to make out with you and Fluttershy
> Rarity frowns at that
> "We need to talk, darling. This is the first time I've seen you treat a customer that way, and I would very much like to know why."
> You lick your lips
"Bear with me, alright? You know Snips, that pudgy colt?"
> Rarity nods slowly
> "The one with the unfortunate eyebrows and buck teeth, yes."
> You shrug
"To me, Nemo looks like what an adult Snips would look like to you, more or less."
> Rarity sits back on her haunches
> "Is this standard of beauty common among humans?"
> You nod
"More or less."
> Rarity sighs sadly
> "So many underappreciated stallions. When we do find a way back to your home, we shall have to rescue them all."
> You smile at the kind mare, shaking your head at the differences between species

> Be Femanon, walking with Twilight, carrying a bag of clothes
> "-not as different as you described, but I understand that I'm working with a sample of two, and in non-native environs."
> You shrug
"Nemo does seem to be pretty introverted and polite, from what little I've seen. You'll probably have to get to know him better in order to see major differences from how stallions act and think."
> She grins
> "For science, of course."
> You nod mock-seriously
"For science."
> The two of you stop at the door to Nemo's room, and you take a moment to gather yourself
> Twilight glances at you with a knowing smile
> "I'll leave you to prepare your experiment, but I'll be interested in your lab report."
> You give her a flat look
> She teleports away with giggle
> You just sigh, and glance at your reflection in the crystaline wall
> You tuck some stray hairs behind your ear, set your shoulders back, and knock on the door
> You hear a faint rustling, and then the door opens
> Nemo blinks at you, then smiles politely
> "Hello again. I have to say, Rarity works very quickly."
> You return the smile and offer the bag of clothes
"Indeed she does. Speaking of which, do you have a moment to talk?"
> Nemo accepts it, looking slightly nervous
> He backs away from the door and waves you to a chair in front of a desk
> You sit, and he perches on the side of his bed
> "Is this about my date with her?"
> You shake your head immediately
"No, nothing about that. I just wanted to warn you that things different here, aside from the obvious. Like this morning, even if it was..."
> He blinks
> "Uncomfortable? I mean, it was pretty awkward."
> You laugh nervously
"It was, wasn't it? I guess that's the sort of thing that can happen when you live in a culture where clothes are a luxury, and not a necessity."
> Nemo nods fervently, eyes wide
> "What is up with that? Like, when I'm following a mare, I don't know where to look!"
> You shrug, more or less used to it after two years living here
"Try to keep your eyes on the front half, and you'll be fine. Frankly, you'll want to be careful about that in a different way, mares will generally take it as an invitation. Luckily for me, stallions have sheaths, so I don't get the same level of indecent exposure."
> Nemo tilts his head
> "Sheaths? Is that like a ball bra, but for the shaft?"
> You shake your head, your cheeks starting to warm due to the subject matter
"Pony penises sort of retract up, until they're hidden in the curve of the belly. The tube thing they pull into is called a sheath."
> He nods in understanding
> "So that was what Rarity was talking about."
> She was?
> That dirty mare
> Still, you have to wonder
"You don't have to answer if you don't want, but what is it like?"
> Nemo looks at you in confusion
> "What's what like?"
> You blush
"You know...wearing a ball bra."
> He blinks, and blushes as well
> "It's uh, surprisingly comfortable. Cool and soft, and it keeps them from sticking to my legs."
> Huh
> You have no idea what to say to that
> Nemo kicks his legs back and forth, looking at the floor
> "Do you mind if I ask about my date with Rarity?"
> You smile gratefully, glad for the change of subject
"Sure, I'd be glad to help."
> He swallows
> "Should I bring flowers, or a salt lick, or what?"
> You laugh at the mental image of Nemo presenting Rarity with a very romantic block of salt
> He turns red, and stares at the floor
> Ah, oops
"Sorry, I just was surprised by the idea of giving a salt lick."
> Although...
"It's actually not a bad idea, for more blue-collar ponies like Applejack."
> Nemo runs a hand through his hair, then makes eye contact
> "Then what should I get for Rarity?"
> You give him a half-smile, shifting slightly to cross and uncross your legs
"I don't doubt that she would appreciate flowers, but save that for a special occasion. To be honest, you don't have to get her anything, she'll be the one getting you small gifts."
> He raises an eyebrow
> "Are you sure?"
> You nod seriously
"You probably haven't noticed, but the girls outnumber the guys here. That means that here, you are the fairer gender, with all the lovely privileges and discrimination that comes with it."
> Nemo rocks back at the revelation
> "Huh."
> You giggle at the expression on his face
> It's kinda cute in a derpy sort of way
> Time to blow his mind
"There is at least one major difference, though. They have herds here."
> His brow furrows
> "Big groups of horses?"
> You have a hand dismissively
"No, as in one stallion in a romantic relationship with one more more mares."
> Nemo coughs at that, blinking rapidly
> "Seriously?"
"Seriously."
> He shakes his head slowly
> Then he looks at you with an inquisitive expression
> "Are you in a herd?"
> You hold back a sigh
"No, I'm single. Not sure how I would feel about sharing a guy, but it's never even gotten that far yet."
> Nemo looks seriously confused
> "But you're...well..."
> You lift an eyebrow
"Yes?"
> He blushes again
> "Beautiful. I mean, it's hard to believe that you're still single."
> You smile warmly at him
> It's a remarkably genuine, sweet compliment 
"Thank you for saying so, but I'm afraid that's not how stallions see things. Aside from me looking like an alien, most stallions are kinda baby-hungry. Since humans are biologically incompatible with ponies..."
> You shrug
> Nemo frowns
> "I'm sorry to hear that. Is there something I can do to help?"
> You smile and shake your head
"It's sweet of you to offer, but don't worry about it. These things just take time."
> You stand up and smooth down your skirt
"It's been a pleasure talking to you Nemo. See you around."
> He slides off the bed hurriedly and sees you to the door
> "The pleasure is mine, Femanon. Have a nice evening."
> You give a little wave
"You too."
> You make your way out of the castle and into the street, your thoughts turning back to the conversation you just had
> You've gotten used to the way things are
> You have your little routine, good friends, and all the time in the world to write what you want
> It too much to wish for a good boyfriend?
> You sigh
> You glance up at the sun, guestimating the hour
> You got time
> Your feet lead you to Applejack's market stall almost automatically

> Be Rarity, working on a special order from Canterlot
> You have to be very precise with your stitching
> There is not much fabric in the piece, so every seam must be sturdy, yet smooth to the touch
> The door bells jingle, and you pause before deciding to go out front
> You are rewarded by Femanon's sing-song voice
> "I have returned!"
> You resume your needlework
"Welcome back, Darling. I trust things went well?"
> You hear paper rustling, as well as the dull clink of ceramic
> Oh dear
> Femanon drapes herself across the settee you keep in your workroom for just such a purpose
> "Mm, I think so. By the way, Nemo is enjoying his new bra."
> You stick the needle in the fabric and turn your full attention to your friend
"He told you as much?"
> Fem's cheeks redden ever so slightly, perhaps she wasn't as disinterested as she said?
> It would be nice to be in a herd with her, officially
> "Yup. He said it is cool and comfortable."
> Of course it is, but it is good to know the design works well on both Minotaurs and Humans
> You glance at the paper bag on the floor, and the jars of hard cider it no doubt contains
"That is good to hear. Did something happen when you talked to him?"
> Femanon gives you a wry look
> "Not exactly. We just got to talking about dating, and well..."
>  


"Then we must strive to correct him. Did you perhaps find out which flowers are his favorite?"
> Femanon shakes her head
> "I'm not sure how he feels about receiving flowers, but you should be fine bringing roses."
> You nod, making a note to yourself
> She reaches into the bag and pulls out a jar of hard cider, as you thought
> You glance at the half-finished comission
> You've done enough, you can continue it later
> You levitate the second jar to yourself as you sit on the floor beside the settee
> Femanon is already taking a long drought of the alcohol
> The poor girl, all this talk of dating has surely reminded her of her loneliness
> You take a sip of the cider, swirling the fruity drink in your mouth as you consider your next actions
> You swallow, and Femanon sighs
> "I'm gonna go write about cute guys doing cute things, any requests?"
> You take another sip, giving you time to consider
"A prince catches a burglar stealing his jewelry, but lets him go in exchange for companionship."
> Fem nods seriously
> "Matrician taste. I'll see you in the morning."
> You raise your jug of cider in a toast
"Until then, you madmare."

> Be Rarity, passing by Femanon's room on your way to open up the Beautique
> You glance inside, only to find your friend hunched over her writing desk, mane completely frazzled
> You knock hesitantly on the door, pushing it further open
"Darling, surely you didn't write through the night?"
> Femanon stares at you with bloodshot eyes 
> "They're so precious! I couldn't stop, they adopted a kitten, and promised to get married!"
> You eye the stack of papers full of writing
> You may have unleashed a monster
"That's very nice, dear. Why don't you get some rest? I can handle the storefront this morning."
> You levitate her gently from her chair and glide her over to the bed
> Femanon goggles tiredly
> "The kitten curls up inside a teacup. It's adorable."
> You lay her down, pulling the blanket over her
> She sighs happily as she nuzzles her pillow
> You shake your head
> It's times like these that you can easily believe she comes from a world where mares are the whimsical ones