Originally posted 2015-03-11

>wake up, look over at alarm clock, set for 8:00
>clock says 7:59. how does that happen so often?
>prospect of early morning aural assault triggers sudden rustling of jimmies
>reach over, cancel alarm in near panic
>*tick tock click* 8:00
*sigh*
>beat it
>get up
>shit shower shave pubes
>you ain't touching your face. you look good in your scruff, but you gotta keep your shit clean
>go downstairs
>hear knock before you can even get your eggs into boiling water
*sigh*
>may as well get it over with
>walk around counter to door
>opn door
>>i don't understand that
>fucking  old school text interfaces
>opn door
>>i don't understand that
>fucking sticky e key. gotta quit jerking it at the computer
>open door
>"Um... good morning anon"
what is it hoverfearful?
>"well... um, i..."
spit it out. you think you know what my fetish is right?
>"i.. i hope so"
so what is it?
>"well, rarity said that i shouldn't listen to iron will. that i should just be myself. and since i'm not assertive, i should start small"
>...this is the first time you've heard her make sense
>her behaviour never seemed right up till now
>you had always half suspected she wasn't fully recolored after discord
>but this seemed like her
>after months of gross shit had left you with an esophagus scarred from repeatedly throwing up, you could barely believe your luck
>it's almost like you rolled hard dubs
>"so, um... anon, would you like to kiss me?"
>"with...tongue? *eep*"
>you can barely hear the last bit
>barely, but you did
>you never did like the psycho jaundicedwary
>but you liked fluttershy
>the kind, but painfully shy pegasus who cared about animals (helpless or otherwise) more than anypony
>...
>YOU MEAN ANYONE!
>fuck, you've been here too long
>and here she is. finally
>you've been alone for so long
>you've made good friends and all but
>you're so alone
>and here is a wonderful female who is clearly head over hooves for you
>wait... hooves
>...
>fuck
go away fluttershy, i ain't no horsefucker