Small greentext shitpost for funsies.
Originally written 2023-07-24
Inspired by this
https://desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/40128675/#40138109
(In all seriousness, I think he had a good point)
Status: Complete

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>Be Ayy Lmao from the fuckshit nebula
>Your appearance is like a massive eldritch mass of rope like tendrils dipped in glue and rolled in green M&Ms that takes a vaguely masculine figure
>Older than most stars
>Powerful enough to destroy planets with a thought and travel through the vaccuum of space unassisted
>Go to planet teeming with 4 legged things
>Morph to approximately similar size
>Liquid falls from the sky and it is currently the darker side of planet
>Investigate inhabitants
>They hide in boxes
>Observe ritual of light strikes on barricaded hole before being granted entrance
>Imitate and wait
>Sound resonates from inside
>'Now who'n'the heck could be knocking at this hour?'
>Barricade opens
>Orange and yellow 4 leg sees you
>You sense worry, unease
>'What's a colt like you doing out in this storm in the middle of the night? Are you lost sugarcube?'
>You are quickly ushered inside and a warm blanket is thrown over your mass
>A hot stew materializes in your tendrils and a comforting older 4 legs inquires to your woes
>You psychically transmit that you are an antideluvian wanderer among the stars on your way to the dickass mega cluster
>'I'm not sure where that is sweetie, but why not rest here until the morning when the storm passes. Then we can help ye figure out where the dickass mega cluster is.'
>You send psychic waves of affirmation to the 4legs and she is happy
>Absorb some stew
>It is saturated with delicious
>You decide you will visit this planet again in the future
>It is... nice

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(Greentext expanded on by another Anon.)

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>Be Ayy Lmao, astonished by 4leg hospitality.
>These primitives have proven far beyond the most cordial lesser-sapiants you have come across.
>OrangeYellow is particularly kind, even giving you a tour of the domicile clustering that a portion of her species are contained within, calling the general area 'PonyVille'.
>She purchases you many strange and exotic organic constructions to ingest.
>Much glucose is had, and you are merry.
>You decide that such genial behavior should be positively reinforced so that when this species reaches the intergalactic stage, they can do so with minimal aggression.
>Yes, good behavior must be promoted and propagated throughout the cosmos.
>This will be your good deed for the galactic revolution.
>On the way back through OrangeYellow's collection of glucose bulb producing cellulose pillars, you scan her body with senses six through eight, and detect a collection of nerve-endings in a orifice near her posterior area.
>Mapping these nerves to the main cluster in the anterior region that contains consciousness, you determine that the stimulation of the former nerves will induce sensations of pleasure within the latter.
>Proceed to deconstruct one of your faux-legs into their original configuration of tendrils and reach out.
>"What the hay!? What is this?!" OrangeYellow exclaims as you wrap her torso and limbs in tentacles and pick her up from the earth.
>Psychically inform her that you are repaying her for the enjoyable time she has helped you experience by doing the same for her.
>"Well shucks, I was just bein' neighborly, ya don't have ta do- Wow nelly!"
>You have inserted a bundle of tendrils into her lower canal, the nodules upon which seem to be doing an excellent job of stimulating her nerves.
>As you rhythmically thrust them in and out, you observe the nerve signals being sent up the main bundle to her anterior cluster to activate what you deduced was the pleasure center of her consciousness.
>Yes, this is good.
>As you go deeper, pushing through a smaller opening within her form, you find a small hollow within which a small sphere of Deoxyribonucleic acid resides.
>You determine that this is an incomplete blueprint for this species' development, and begin to fiddle with it while OrgangeYellow vocalizes long, drawn out sounds.
>Absently, you begin to fill in the missing half of the sequence of the small sphere, not unlike solving a particularly easy puzzle.
>Once done, you proceed to modify the structure of the blueprint, making some obvious improvements that you are sure natural selection will have implemented within a few hundred thousand revolutions of this world around it's local star.
>By the time you are finished, you realize that you lost track of time, and that OrangeYellow is now unconscious from multiple pleasure climaxes radiating through her physical form.

===

>Feeling a approximation of embarrassment, you bend space and time to transport you both into the personal compartment of her familial domicile and place her on the rudimentary collection of fibers their species seem to participate in low mental activity periods on, and leave after wicking away the many fluids that have accumulated upon her body.
>Especially between her hindlegs.
>You will remove this portion of the recollection when informing your fellow Ayy Lmaos of what had transpired on this planet.
>Such a lapse in awareness is not becoming.
>While the period of time experienced upon this world has been novel, you must make haste to the dickass mega cluster.
>You would be remiss to not arrive in time to enjoy the fictional character convention to be held there.
>You have worked quite hard to perfect your imitation of the character Sꮺꔛǂꕤꗃꮺ๑, and am sure to be victorious within the competition of good will.

>Applejack wonders what happened to that strange stallion, her final memories of their time together still blurry.
>The spontaneous, mind blowing sex they shared among her apple trees.
>She's a bit ashamed to admit that, whoever that stallion was, he was too much for her to handle, not that she'd say as much to any pony.
>After all, he bucked her so good that she could barely remember how it all happened, save for the strange dream she had after passing out involving tentacles.
>Yeah, as far as her friends know, she seduced a strange, foreign traveler and blew his mind.
>Regardless, she looks down at the bundle in her forelegs, and wishes she could find that stallion and tell him about the gift he left her eleven months later.
>Every father deserves to be in their colt's life, after all.
>Alas, she doesn't even know the strange stallion's name, which she regrets as it's Apple family tradition to incorporate the dad's name into their first born son's.
>That's why Bright Mac's son is named Big Mac, after all.
>She sighs tiredly in the hospital bed, thinking of what her friends had said.
>Specifically what Twilight said when she offered help in tracking the father down with her royal resources.
>"Don't worry, Applejack, we'll find this anonymous stallion, don't you worry!"
"Anonymous," Applejack muses, looking at the sleeping green colt. "Anonymous Apple... It's ah strange name, but, yell your pops was a strange stallion."
>The colt opens his eyes with a yawn, and the dark irises sparkle like they're filled with a thousand stars.
>Applejack can't help but smile.
"Heh, Ah'm gonna have ta beat fillies off ah you with a stick, aren't I, Anon?"
>He giggles and holds his hooves up, and she hugs him to her chest.
"Yep, no doubt about," she says with a chuckle before throwing the blanket off. "Anyhoot, let's get home. Ah've already spent three hours away from ma mornin' chores because o' you, ya little rascal. Ah've got work to do."
>With no fanfare, AJ is up and out of the hospital before anyone even realizes it.