>Another day being the very small clone of your "dad"
>You've long since gotten over the fact that you were fillyfied because purple wanted to try something
>That, and learning unicorn magic does help speed that process
>Especially now, when the human Anon is gone shopping and left the freezer unattended
>It's been two whole months since you've been changed and you are getting those damn chicken tenders
>Fucker's been hogging them
>Ponies CAN eat meat, you saw Dash eat a fish yesterday
>With enough magic digging, you find your prize
>...it's just raw chicken.
>Fuck, gonna have to do this the hard way.
>Eggs, check, breadcrumbs, check, salt and pepper, check
>They won't be perfect, but they'll do
>You scoot a chair to the perfectly normal human sized counter and clamber up so you can see what you're doing
>It hits you that Anon's gonna be pissed that you ate the chicken
>And you fail to care because fuck that faggot, he should've just let you enjoy lunch yesterday
>First things first, the knife
>He hid the knife block, fucker
>You hop off the counter, need the knife
>After some searching, you find it in a block wedged behind the fridge
>Nobody can hide anything from the mighty filly!
>Flexing your magic muscles, you grab a bowl and crack a couple eggs in it
>Some shell builds character. That, and you don't want to "feel" egg on your horn. You're still not quite sure why that works.
>Put in the salt and pepper, and mix that shit
>Time to fillet the chicken
>You proceed to brutalize the chicken, it's family could never recognize the body
>It'll have to do
>Egg up and bread up the pieces that range from chicken strip to McDonalds nugget chode
>You feel like you might be forgetting something
>Oh well, if you're forgetting it it's not worth thinking about, much unlike how good these glorious tendies will be
>You pop the breaded chicken on a baking sheet and turn on the oven
>No preheating? It's fucking magic, man. I don't gotta explain shit.
>And now we wait

>Another day being Anon
>Greatest greenest human in all of Equestria
>Even if you're the only one, now
>Fillyanon has been pretty good today, only called you a faggot seven times. Even if it's you, it's still jarring to hear a filly say that.
>And you have a surprise for her - trout
>Dash told you that pegasi could eat fish, so unicorns probably can too
>It only took you two hours to find some
>You can't wait to see the adorable look on her face
>And you also stop that thought on the complexity of finding yourself, even if she's a filly now, cute
>Open the front door, something something dinosaur
"Anon! I'm home! And I got something for you!"
>She doesn't come
>Something's wrong, you love surprises
>And then you smell it
>Cooked meat
>Then you hear it
>"BLARRRGH"
"Goddamn it, I kept telling you! Maybe you'll learn this time!"
>"Fucking worth it! BLARRRRRGH"
>She can clean that mess up herself.