>Anon wants to build a house, but secretly doesn't know where to start.
>Twilight figures as much when he casually waltz into the library one day to browse, and goes straight to the building sections.
>It's pretty small, and not a lot of help, but he checks out what there is.
>When he comes to return the few books, Twilight just so happens to have gotten some new books on the subject in the mail.
>These are far more extensive and helpful, and Anon eagerly checks them out

>Rainbow Dash just happens to forget to make it rain around his construction site when he forgets to check the weather schedule and is caught outside working.
>Anon starts running low on wood supplies, so Fluttershy convinces some beavers to cut some tress down near his place







>Scootaloo has long since accepted she will never fly.
>Her continued attempts are for the benefit of Rainbow Dash, who loves couching her surrogate sister.
>No, she has given up on flying, but she has found something that she believes gives her a similar feeling.
>Dash describes flight as freedom, of being untethered where nothing can keep you down.
>And when Scootaloo is alone in her room, away from prying eyes, she finds that feeling.
>She finds it in the pirouettes, arabesques, and grand jetés of ballet.
>Her, along with some other fillies from school, had gone to watch the colts practice one day and drool over their supple bodies bend and heave.
>While the other girls committed their flanks to memory for later jilling, Scootaloo was fascinated in the moves themselves, and practiced them that night.
>She had started off clumsy, but couldn't stop.
>She returned many times to that window after that, watching the colts dance and mimicking their movements behind that bush.
>Over time, her talents grew.
>Not anywhere near the colts who could practice everyday without fear, but to respectable levels.
>If only she didn't have to hide it...
>She knows that if it ever got out, she'd become a laughing stock, but that doesn't stop her dreams from fantasizing.
>Being on stage, dancing her heart out, and receiving roaring applause.
>That dream always leaves her giddy upon waking, then somber soon after.
She's a filly, and not very good besides.
>A fact not helped as she hasn't gotten good practice in for a couple weeks.
>The ballet teacher had to move away, and classes have been cancelled until the new one settles in.
>She's seen the strange stallion around town, and she wonders how something so tall could ever dance.
>His limbs are so thin that they look like they would break if he tried to stand on just one.
>Still, she'll be outside her window when classes resume, so she'll see what this Anon can do.

>Anon catches her outside the window.
>Drags her in to ask her what she was doing.
>She tries to say she's just perving on colts, but ponies are shit at lying, and Anon grills her for the truth.
>She admits she was watching to improve her ballet.
>Anon asks why she doesn't just join the class.
>She points out how she'd become a laughing stock.
>Anon takes pity on her and decides to start giving her private lessons after class so no one needs to know.
>She's surprised, but ecstatic.
>After only a few one on one lessons, she improves to reach the rest of his class.
>Another couple weeks, and she surpasses them.
>Anon is impressed, and tries to convince her to join the show the class plans of performing soon.
>She refuses, tempted by the idea of dancing on stage, but knowing it would result in utter embarrassment.
>Anon can't let such talent be squandered in hiding, however, and is determined to help her see that she doesn't need to be ashamed of what makes her happy







>Anon was a bad guy.
>No, he was the worst.
>Through tragedy and despair, a monster was born, and it blighted the land.
>Studying martial arts, the sword, bow, he started small, interested in learning knew ways to spread pain and suffering like that within his heart.
>Then he came upon a more efficient engine of destruction.
>Magic, and the darkness within.
>He became a sorcerer feared the world over, and he continued his quest of suffering for years.
>Decades.
>Centuries.
>Magics kept him alive through time and the blades of heroes.
>He could not be stopped.
>... Even when he wanted to.
>The fire in his soul died, smothered by the sands of time, but he could no longer build a peaceful life.
>People would never allow that.
>He was a murderer thousands of times over, and if not for justice, many sought to snuff his existence for vengeance.
>He might have lost his appetite for destruction, but that did not mean he was a simpering coward ready to forfeit his life.
>And so he fought and killed all who would come after him, no matter how endless the waves of pursuers seemed.
>And they were endless.
>Anon would never know rest in this world where his name was a taint on lifetimes history.
>No, he would need to go somewhere no one knew of him and what he has done.
>And like all things, magic would be the key...

>"Anon!" Pinkie whines. "You're late!"
"Sorry, Pinkie," you apologize. "I got hung up at the library. Twilight was grilling me for more info about my world."
>The pink pony sticks out her tongue.
>"Blegh, books are all fine and dandy, but you're baking lessons should always come first, Nonny. How do you ever expect to cook for your family when you can hardly crack an egg?"
>You roll your eyes, but wear a good-natured smile.
"As much as I'd like to learn cooking, I don't think it's that important."
>"Of course it is. A stallion's place is in the kitchen, after all, and you barely know you're way around one!"

>It takes years, but Incognito has finally found a way to follow that monster.
>Anonymous would pay for his crimes, and the debt would be collected by Incognito's holy blade.
>"Anonymous... I'm coming for you, demon..."

>You sneeze out of the blue.
>"You okay, honey? You're not getting sick, are you?"
"Nah, I'm fine."
>"Are you sure? I can take the twins to school if you aren't feeling well."
"I'm fine, and even if I weren't, you know I can't pass up an opportunity to embarrass my daughters on their first day of school."

>Mares think the thing between Incognito and Anonymous is a cat fight.
>Stallions hold grudges over the silliest things.
>Incognito just wants to kill the man and be done with it, but the monster somehow has a family and he'd rather not make them watch their loved one's death.
>Not like how Anon killed Incognito's older brother right in front of him.
>This seems like a friendship problem, and The Girls are on the case!

>Anon wasn't evil guy
>He wasn't good either
>Times were hard so either you were opportunistic bastard or you were no one
>Maybe he was a ruler who oppressed his people because alternative was being steamrolled by neighbouring powers
>Or mage living on the werge of civilization that was in conflict with local nobles
>Yeah, he killed some people and many more were hurt as an effect oh his decisions, but not all of them were innocent and his motivation wasn't hurting them but trying to achieve the best outcome
>But after his downfall/retirement his succesors needed scapegoat, someone to blame for all that suffering
>And Anon was the best guy for it, he couldn't defend himself, and while not hated he wasn't exactly loved either
>Only years of propaganda and repeating stories turned him into that evil, dark monster that terrorised peopel nad drunk blood of newborns

>so many heros over the years have attacked him using light magic that he inevitably picked up the basics without realising.
>current hero has a mental short circuit when the demon lord pulls off a magic shield powered by feelings of love and protection








>Anon is Moondancer's roommate
>Turns out being a huge nerd doesn't pay the horse-bills as well as Moondancer would have liked, so she put an ad into the horse-newspaper
>Anon comes a-knockin' on her door, looking for a house in Canterlot so that he can find work in the big city that the small town of Ponyville couldn't provide
>Moondancer opens the door and is face-to-crotch with Anon
>It takes her a second or two longer than necessary for Moondancer to crane her neck and look Anon in the eyes.
>"Oh no, he's cute!"
>Now, Moondancer does streams on her horse-computer, her computer is in the den; the lack of someone else living in her home mixed in with the desire for ponies not to see her messy room made her move her rig into the better-lit and more open room
>Unfortunately for Moondancer (but fortunately for her stream-watchers), Anon doesn't realize he's sexy to ponies
>Ponies have different standards for beauty, and qualities on Anon that a human might not consider to be attractive - or would even think COULD be attractive - really get a mare's heart racing.
>Small eyes (like a foal's eyes) might make ponies think he's cute, for example, much in the way we think big eyes (like a baby's eyes) make someone/something cute.
>Anon tries to avoid being on camera on Moondancer's streams as much as he can (it's only polite), but sometimes he messes up or doesn't know she has her camera on
>Ponies ask who the "hot colt" in the background is, and Moondancer answers that he's her roommate
>Horny mares immediately start ruining the chat with their l-lewd requests
>"touch the roommate dick"







>Celestia wants to know what her crush, Iroh is doing, so she sneakysneaks.
>She sees him setting up a small shrine to a younger human stallion.
>"Happy birthday, my son. If only I could have helped you..."
>The normally cheerful and aloof man changed in her eyes that day, after she heard his song.
>Behind all of his laughs she started to hear a gentle sob.
>His calm and wise demeanor no longer felt care free and full of whimsy. It was a facade he used to stay in control of himself.
>On that day Celestia realized he was more than just a friendly flirt. He was at least her equal in every way







>Be Celestia.
>You had been around for a long, long time, so you knew how to read people like an open book.
>Ponies, griffons, minotaurs, whatever the hell Smooze's people were.
>It didn't matter what a person was. With a single glance you could see down to the most microscopic detail of a person's soul.
>So you were surprised when you met Anon, a stallion of all things.
>Like most commoners he clearly had no practice concealing his inner thoughts and feelings, but watching him was like trying to make out details behind a fogged window.
>Occasionally he would nearly say something, catch himself, and divert his words to some other meaning.
>You could never figure out what his unsaid words would have been, and that bothered you.
>What was so inscrutable about this stallion?
>What special knowledge did he possess that shaped all of his thoughts and feelings into something you couldn't comprehend?
>More importantly...
>You were the mother of all knowledge in Equestria, the pony equivalent of Prometheus himself!
>In all the world there shouldn't have been any knowledge beyond your purview, and yet a measly stallion stood in opposition to everything you once believed about yourself.







>You are Anon
>And you are going to teach the avatar earth bending
>"Psh! I don't need help from a boy!"
>Or you would, if she didn't have such a big fucking problem with it
"Tell you what, if you beat me in a little spar I'll just leave. If I win, you have to say you were wrong and let me teach you earth bending."
>She looks unsure
>Damn, is her pride that big?
>"Yeah how would you beat me?! I got water and air bending!"
"Yeah good for you. We gonna fight or what? Tell you what, I'm going to make it easier for you and not move from this spot."
>She gets a shit eating grin
>"This'll be easy!"
"Alright. Let's start."
>She started doing some flashy bending moves
>You just bended a stone dome over her
>"What the?! Hey let me out!"
"Nah"
>"What do you mean 'nah'?!"
"This is a fight remember?"
>"But this isn't fair!!"
"Wow, so you think that soldiers will treat you to a fair fight to the death? Oh such a wise avatar! I am blinded by your wisdom, oh great one!"
>"Sh-shut up!"
"Maybe you shouldn't be yelling so much, you only have so much air. No wait, then you'll pass out, keep going"







>Anon is Eldritch to ponies
>Looking at him for too long gives them headaches and nausea
>Anon isn't even his real name, whenever he tries to say it ponies hear maddening screeches and damning howls
>Anon has to wear things that cover him from head to toe
>Like a robe or something
>Not even celestia, luna, or even discord can look at him without feeling sick
>Imagine anons surprise when there's a pony that doesn't have any I'll effects while around him
>Turns out she is to Anon, as what Anon is to ponies
>But Anon doesn't feel sick or gets headaches
>He just feels a weight on his soul






>Ponies are Eldritch things to Anon
>Terrifying abominations with incredible powers
>Some are ten times stronger than him
>Some can fly at impossible speeds
>Some have control over magical powers so immense the mere thought is mind-numbing
>The rarest of them all have a combination of all that and more
>Luckily for Anon, they seem not to have deigned to slaughter him yet
>Maybe as long as he keeps up the act that they seem to enjoy putting on, they'll let him live out the rest of his nightmarish days

<><><><>

>The Ponies are oblivious to his fears as he tries to hide them to avoid angering the "eldritch beings"
>The Ponies just assume that he's naturally skittish and extremely shy
>He is a colt after all, and this is a strange, new place for him
>He shouldn't worry though, they'll make sure to involve him in all the activities they can!







>Glimmer's wacko thought process is actually the product of a horrific hormone imbalance.
>It was so gradual and started during puberty so it was never caught.
>And for whatever reason, the huge amount of dopamine and other hormones released by the brain during and after sex is just enough to balance out her brain chemistry.
>Glimglam has an actual medical need for sex every few days at minimum to keep a clear mind.
>It sounds like an eroge plot and baffles doctors, but sex really does fix her. The alternative is expensive medication that may or may not have lasting side effects, effectively making it a non option.
>And guess who popped her cherry during one of her lucid moments and figured out something was off?
>Yep. You. 
>Glimmer is horribly embarrassed by the situation, but is also terrified of relapsing and becoming borderline insane again. She is now more or less stuck to your side since no other male in town would be willing to accommodate her.

> She is worried she's taking advantage of you
> Tries to go as long as possible between sessions 
> When she starts noticing thoughts about fixing ponies, tweaking them so they aren't so annoying, that's when she knows she has to go to Anon
> Whenever Anon sees Glimmer, he immediately thinks "What did Trixie do now?"
> Starlight is really earnest about Anon having a good time too
> Asks if there's anything she can do 
> E-even weird stuff, like spanking or something


>Anon waves off any of her fears about him feeling like he is being exploited. If anything oh, he feels like he is exploiting her condition.
>Glimmer denies that as well. If there is any treatment for her that is preferable, then the sex and companionship he provides is the best she can ever ask for.
>He laughs. Asks what she would think about a small wedding and maybe foals down the line.
>It was an obvious jest, but she can pick out a serious and even hopeful undertone. 
>Glimmer is almost moved to tears that anyone would want her






>Find hidden village in everfree
>Try to talk to the residents
>Get called a demon
>Get magicked into some kids gut
>It only gets worse when the kid is a complete jackass
>You feel like Kriegs inner voice
>Keeping her out of trouble

"Kid give the emo a wedgie"
>"A what?"
"Oh right your kind don't wear alot of cloths...I'd say give her a wet Willy but you have no fingers. Oh look she's asleep, draw vaginas all over her face!"
>Ten minutes later the deed was done
>You also got her to put the rgre equivalent to "Dirty Sanchez enthusiast" on her forehead

>In Equestria everything can do magic.
>Youre not really good at anything, but your sheer Mana capacity dwarfs anything not an alicorn. Being subtle is out of the question, but you can do DBZ shit which is cool.
>Some mare in a swirly mask hypnotizes you and tells you to attack the horse leaf village.
>She tried to summon a demon to do it but that failed.
>You fuck up the village in a hypnotized rage, shrugging of just about everything before the current horsekage seals you into a newborn filly.
>And there you are today.
>But in this scenario the loudmouth knuckleheaded horsekage wannabe has her 'demon' on her side from day one

>"Hey, Anon?"
"Yeah?"
>"You're a guy right?"
"Mhmm."
>"... Do you know how I can get Cherry Popper to like me?"
"Hoo boy, I knew this day would come soon as puberty hit."

"Cherry Popper."
>"Yeah"
"Cherry. Popper."
>"Why are you saying his name over and over?"
"Where I'm from that is not something you name your kid."
>"Why?"
"I'll tell you when you're older. Alot older."
>"You say that alot."

>Anon does have a lot of Mana/chakra, but not the bullshit near infinite levels that most sealed beings can give their jinchuriki.
>He's closer to a battery that's good for one refill. Even then, Naru's Uzumaki heritage will eventually give her more than him.
>Instead, he helps his academically challenged host other ways.
>Strategy lessons, unusual human knowledge, being a sounding board for her ideas, and acting as a voice of reason among other things.
>Her sheer power is limited, but Narupone is still set on the path of greatness

>"THE DEMON IS A STALLION?!"
>Narupone winces and rubs her ear. "Neh, do you have to yell, ero-sennin?"
>Jiraiyapone ignores the rude nickname, instead bringing a hoof to her chin in thought. "Hmm. So kid, a question. The demon, is..."
>A perverse grin stretches across her muzzle. "Is he hot?"
>Narupone feels her muzzle scrunch. "Uhh... I mean, I guess?"
>'You guess?'
>"I mean you are!" Narupone hastily corrects out loud.
>Jiraiyapone laughs, mirth shaking the large mare's frame.
>'Naru, repeat after me.
>"He says 'of course I am, but why ask? It's not like you're getting any from me. Or anyone else for that matter you crusty lech.'"
>Jiraiyapone goes from laughing, to a faceplant, to a moping pile of pony in record time

>"Hey do that shape shifting thing but use me!"
"Um okay..."
"SEXY NO JUTSU!!"
>Naruhorse now looks like Anon
>With the suit and everything
>Pervhorse wants hot monkey dick



>The 3rd horsekage, a crafty old mare, welcomes you with open arms.
>How nice of her.
>Unknown to you, besides just being nice, the horsekage has other motivations.
>She saw no reason to deny you entry and citizenship since you're not allied with any hostile villages, but what she really wants is for you to settle down and marry. She hopes you'll introduce some sort of new and powerful bloodline ability to the village.
>Hopefully with one of her top ninjas. The poor mares are all pretty troubled considering "good ninja" is synonymous with "has issues." Any one of them could use the grounding a husband provides








>Anon marries horse ninja, has a kid
>however, once the child is born, rivals attack and manage to kill his wife
>Anon goes fucking crazy, killing the assassins and going on a minor rampage
>since he was immune to their horse-jutsus, a trait that had never really factored into his life before, containing him was a lot more difficult than it would have been otherwise
>horse-ninjas start thinking he was some kind of demon, or at least possessed
>seal the "demon" away into the conveniently avaiable newborn filly
>it is only many years later that Anon returns to his senses, and even more until he remembers jsut why he feels so driven to protect the pony he'd been sealed in



>Horsekage let's you in with open arms kinda.
>You get a probation period where you have an escort for a few months to insure you're not a spy or something. You can even do minor missions for money.
>A disgruntled Kakashipone and her genin team are the ones escorting you.
>Because the horsekage totally had no other motivations sticking you with one of her most powerful ninja mares, a jinchuriki, and the last of a powerful clan. Nope

>Inb4 kibapone tries to fuck Anon "Because the monsterboy came onto me!"
>But Anon isn't a pedo

>Naru laughs so hard at Kiba's embarrassment she almost cries.
>So Anon picks her up and babies her afterwards

>Naru cries because it's the closest thing she had to parental affection

>Even after your probation ends, you find yourself hanging out with team 7 a lot.
>Naru slips one day and accidentally calls you dad

>Anon works for horsekage
>He unknowingly works in the IT department
>They set him in a room with an illusion that let's the captives see him but he can't see them
>They give him meat
>He eats up with his hands because fuck chop sticks
>Captives think they have a monster
>The interrogators tell them the meat was from the last uncooperative prisoner
>Captives spill all their secrets
>One of them edmited to wetting the bed all the way to age 11
>Anon is oblivious
>They actually give him rabbit meat
>Anon is paid surprisingly well

>Anon accidentally becomes a grounding force for many of the troubled genin in the village, Naru and Sasupone chief among them.
>Then older ninja start to approach him after getting over their wariness.
>If there is anything a village of high strung assassins can benefit from, it's a cuddly therapist

>Inb4 pedosnake thinks Anon has some sort of bloodline that allows him to tame the most frenzied poner just by cuddling them








>Celestia doesn't really bother with the smaller pony nations. They can do what they will unless they start to effect Equestria.
>That is until she receives a desperate missive from one of the smaller nations, asking for her to step in and help them.
>One of the queens of a small pony nation took a rather exotic husband who fadded into the background after all the hubbub died down. That in itself isn't unusual, but what follows is.
>The small nation suddenly gained a number of inconsistent advancements in weapons, medicine, economy, technology, and other things. The small state suddenly stood head and shoulders over it's neighbors and rapidly began to develop a martial culture.
>Then began the agressive renegotiation of all the trade agreements they had.
>The other small nations had tried with all their might to resist the changes, but the local super power among them relentlessly bullied them into agreement... Or they offered a much more lenient agreement in the form of annexation. The smallest among them has already been forced to agree to being annexed.
>Finally a spy managed to figure out what was going on. 
>The queen's husband wasn't just some sort of exotic jungle spawn, but an alien from a much more sophisticated society. He's been helping his wife from her shadow not because he's being forced, but because he actually loves her.
>He would have taken center stage, but it works much better with the queen as an authoritative figure head.
>The "behind every great mare is a great stallion" saying is ringing true.
>Celestia feels a horrid cold building in her stomach.
>Maybe she should have been paying more attention to what goes on outside her kingdom







>Anon always has at least three swans with him at all times
>Whenever he's in town and a newcomer or tourist tries to flirt with him the swans do their swan things to them
>Only Celestia is able to get close enough to Anon
>The swans think she's a swan as well
>Celestia makes an official swan division in the guard







>The unification of the three tribes did no go so nearly as cleanly as the Hearth’s Warming Eve play presents it
>There were many dissenters, and for a while it looked like all three tribes were each facing a civil war.
>In the end, there was a schism. The majority of the three tribes went into settle what is now known as Equestria
>A significant minority stayed in their ancestral lands, while others found new lands of their own to colonize.
>While a significant number of the smaller nations failed and were annexed into Equestria or their neighbors as a result, those that were strong enough to survive on their own remain to this day.
>These smaller pony nations are much less prosperous than Equestria, and the general lack of Friendship Kool-Aid is very much evident among them.
>These are a lot closer to what you’d see out of second world countries on Earth.
>The country that Anon was found in is predominantly populated by unicorns, but there’s a necessary significant minority of the other two tribes.
>The country’s royalty and nobility are all unicorns.
>This land is what remains of the unicorn tribe’s original home country.
>While Princess Platinum and her followers went onto Equestrian, her younger sister was much more skeptical of the idea.
>She stayed behind, as did many others, and so the country endured despite the harsh weather conditions imposed by the windigos.
>Over the centuries the windigo population lowered, but did not disappear, as the Unicorn Queendom was forced to accept members of other tribes into their borders to deal with the weather and food supply. 
>Anon’s wife, Queen Golden Rule, is a direct descendant of the younger sister of Princess Platinum.
>The country was essentially a pony version of pre-World War 1 Russia, and was going down the same path towards a revolution until Anon showed up

>Anon convinces his wife to slow a bit after they absorb their useful neighbors.
>Then carefully turns them away from land grabbing and more to progress. Patriotic propaganda gets spun up.
>With the new land, workers, resources, and citizen approval rapidly recovering from the rapid annexing, the kingdom prospers.
>Pony Nazi Germany, aka Germoneigh, but without all the stupid decisions like open warfare and griffin gassings and nearly all the good parts like the style and quick advancements

>The Unicorn Queendom’s goal is to eventually kill all immortals
>Anon’s wife believes that these so-called gods and goddesses have had too much power over the world for far too long.
>Mortals, not just ponies but all races, should not have to fear or bow to the whims of these beings.
>Sure, Celestia is benevolent, but Luna’s descent into Nightmare Moon proves that alicorns are just as fallible as mortal ponies.
>The difference being that the consequences of an alicorn’s mistakes can be much greater than any mortal pony.
>Not to mention the outright malicious elements like Discord, who has somehow been ‘reformed’. Who knows how long that’ll last.
>The current way of doing things must change. Mortals must decide their own fates, regardless of if that leads to pointless bloodshed. That’s still THEIR choice to make

>Germoneigh discovers a way to even out birthrates with newly developed gene therapy. It does not work all the time, but greatly increases the chance of a colt birth.
>Naturally the technology, magic, and medication formula involved are kept top secret.
>After some testing, it's approved for public release.
>Colts are born in droves. It's named the "XY Generation" 
>Estimates say the average 1 to 4 stallion/mare ratio with close to an average of 1 to 2 within the next 100 years and hold steady.
>Naturally, citizens of Germoneigh can elect to be treated for a modest fee.
>Foreigners can expect to pay an arm and a leg. And they do. The gender ratio situation in some parts of the world are too dire not to.
>And so Germoneigh became a worldly superpower like Equestria without rasing a hoof, holding the fates of other nations in their grasp.

>Anon has to calmly explain to his queen that an alicorn controlling the sun is better than sacrificing half a dozen unicorn's worth of magic at the very legitimate problem on a daily basis.
Because that was literally what was happening, albiet the part about starswirl burning out his magic was retconned, moving the heavenly bodies for anyone but an alicorn / the right cutie mark would be needlessly risking burn out.
Sure an alicorns mistakes can be costly, but Celestia's got a pretty good track record at this point in regards to not fucking up, and the times she DOES fuck up have more to do with her LACK of power and position as ruler rather than the fact she's a powerhouse.






> Anon is an ancient punch wizard, who may or may not have tried to capture princesses from each race
> Not necessarily the reigning princesses, but royal females are his fetish
> After a few failed attempts at the royal sisters, Starswirl prepares a trap for him
> Specifically, a mirror portal to interdimensional space
> The trap works for the most part
> Anon shows up, tries to latch onto what turns out to be an illusion of Celestia
> Passes right through, but instead of simply falling into the portal, Anon punches it with all his magical might
> The portal jumps connections, landing in EQG
> Not that it matters, Anon rebounds, his body lost in the space between dimensions
> He is reduced to an incorporeal form, without magic, only able to be seen and heard
> Anon spends the next millennium or so trying to get a magic user to fetch his body
> Mares are especially easy to corrupt
> Use a sexy voice, promise to take their virginity, and he gets instant minions
> If only they would actually help him, instead of running off on their own vendetta once Anon teaches them a modicum of power
> They inevitably get caught, and then he has to start over with a new apprentice
> Anon hear rumors of a magical prodigy at Celestia's school
> It will take some doing, but if he can stay out of Celestia's sight, this might be his best chance







> The Balikans have always been a mess.
> Nothing more than a roiling cancerous tumor in Equestria's shadow
> Celestia has long since stopped caring about the hundreds of families that constantly fight among themselves, constantly cycling through kingdoms and nations in their never ending ambitions.
> That was why she paid no mind about the news of a broken ships running ashore near a sleepy village.
> Lost in storms in their own world, these creatures that call themselves humans ended up shipwrecked.
> By whim, the young Countess Silvery Glass who ruled over that small stretch of coast gave them refuge.
> The others of the Balikans thought they were strange and found the charity to be naively innocent, but otherwise ignored it in favor of REAL politics.
> Then she married one of them two years later, and became a laughing stock.
> Even Celestia heard the jokes being made about the 'blind countess who married an ape'.
> If she had paid more attention then, she might have seen the changes that would come afterwards.

> Most of the humans who washed ashore quickly abandoned their social norms to fit in.
> The ones who didn't often lacked the charisma and tact to do anything but live on the fringes or among their own kind.
> The now Count-by-marriage Anonymous however caught the young mare's eye for his charms.
> He had all the confidence of a mare's mare, but the charm of a well bred stallion.
> Enough ego to be taken seriously by those that would doubt a male, but humble enough to not get on anypony's nerves.
> Someone who wouldn't weigh the beleaguered Glass family down any further into the muck.
> Nor someone whose hoof in marriage would bind the failing dynasty into another.
---
> Anon isn't scientist, but a conman.
> Falls in love with Silvery Glass' ambition
> She restructures society, he convinced the right people to work for her (scientists and such)
> Because she was a small fish, no one really cared until it was too late






>Anon gets assigned to the school as a resource officer. 
>Not as exciting as his government spook job on Earth, but cops make good money here so it's hard to complain.
>But being a resource officer blows. All he does is tell kids to quit smoking pot in the bathrooms and occasionally help a bullied kid.
>He knows the chief has a touch of sexism in her and, bless her, doesn't want him to get hurt in the field, but this is awful. Not like crime is big in this town, or this dumb candy-colored world at all really.
>Unbeknownst to him, the kids of Canterlot high are conspiring to hook him up with their hardass veteran coach, Spitfire.
>Officer Anon is obviously miserable, and Coach Spitfire needs to get laid bad. Hopefully this'll be two birds with one stone







>You are Spitfire, and you're in the locker room after a long day of training.
>You're showered, you're sore, and you're ready to melt in your live-in coltfriend's arms.
>The other mares in the room, Fleetfoot and High Wind, strike up a conversation which leads to colts, which naturally leads to your love life.
>These nags gossip like a bunch of middle-aged house-husbands, you swear.
>"So, do you two just not buck anymore?"
>...was she staring at your cooter?
>What a dyke.
"What? Of course we do, 'Non can't get enough of The V."
>Fleetfoot looks over at High Winds, and they share a dubious roll of the eyes.
>"Well, all you really do is talk about how-"
>Fleetfoot uses her wingtips to create crude air-quotes.
>"-'thoughtful and sweet' he is."
>She puts her wings back and scoffs in disgust, much to your growing anger.
>"I mean, whatever happened to the days when we'd go out on the town, get drunk, and wake up in a pile of ponies? Now, it's 'he makes the most delicious salad' this, and 'I lose myself in his eyes' that."
>Her tone is mocking and suggests she doesn't think any of those things are worth anything at all.
>Your eyes narrow; what's wrong with any of that?
>Anon's salad is DELICIOUS. Even though Anon is a rough-and-tumble janefilly, he excels in the kitchen like most colts do.
>And if this mare could see your hoo-man coltfriend's eyes, she'd KNOW that they were the deepest pools of green you had ever seen, and then SHE would be the one staring awe-struck into the most beautiful pair of emeralds she had ever laid eyes on!
>Your hackles raise and your wings twitch as they fight to raise into an aggressive stance.
>If you hadn't been wearing your flight suit, then everypony would be able to see the fur between your wings stand up on end
>High Wind, unlike Fleetfoot, is watching you closely, and she can spot the signs of a severely irritated pony.
>She was always one of the smart mares on your team, and she starts busying herself with putting her suit away in the lockers as quickly as she can without it being obvious that she's hurrying to leave.
"What in Equestria is the problem with any of that, Fleetfoot? At least I've GOT a coltfriend."
>Fleetfoot winces, and you smirk victoriously.
>BAM!
>Right in the self-esteem!
>The embarrassment is replaced by anger, and Fleetfoot's wings flutter; a tell-tale sign she wants to take to the sky where you can fight like mares.
>A red flush makes itself known through her fur.
>"You never go out with us anymore! You go straight home after work, and it's so damn obvious that you're proud to have some... some SLUT living at home!"
>WHAT DID SHE CALL YOUR HORSEBANDO
>Your face heats up like it's on fire, and the little voice in your head telling you not to do anything stupid grows quieter and quieter, drowned out by the drum-like pounding in your ears.
>"I know it's fun to have a cock you can fuck any time you want, but hasn't he gotten boring by now? Why are you tieing yourself down when you could be having fun with a bunch of stal-FATHERBUCKER!"
>It happend quickly; one minute you're five body-lengths away from Fleetfoot, and the next you're practically on top of her with your forehoof extended in a punch.
>You shout your response without thinking.
"That's because I LOVE him, you jackass!"
>The silence is deafening as the realization of what you just said sinks in.
>You're sure you look just as surprised as your teammate does.
>Did you...
>Did you really mean that?
>You hadn't meant to say that; you just wanted to shout something about how you weren't that sort of mare anymore.
>Celestia, you weren't ready for this rush of confusing emotions






>Tfw no sith pone gf to embarrass in front of her subordinates
>"We shall stamp them out like the worms they are!!"
>Darth Nightmare, the most feared sith in the Galaxy, has just finished her speech to her armies
>Anon walks up to her
"Hey sweetie you forgot your lunch again. Don't orry I made that special sauce that you like. Oh and good luck with the war!"
>Anon notices the camera still on
"Hey everyone! Keep up the good work and win this!"
>Nightmares snootle scrunches underneath her masked helmet
>Anon just waves to the camera
>Troopers like Anon
>Anon is nice






>Anon is stoic.
>Stoic to the point of being unfeeling.
>At least, that's what ponies think.
>He gives Maud a run for her money, and it kind of creeps ponies out.
>Stallions are an emotional, and very reactive lot, yet Anon barely bats and eye lash to the most extreme situations.
>A waitress accidentally spilled a cup of strawberry lemonade onto his shirt, and every pony in sight collectively held there breaths.
>Clothing is expensive, and combined with the fact that this was a well-dressed stallion.
>Well... if it were any other stallion, they'd be completely hysterical.
>Anon, however, merely sighed, assured the waiter it was alright, and left.
>A couple ponies fainted from holding their breaths too long, anticipating a scene that never came to be.
>Ponies wonder how Anon can be so... apathetic to everything.
>And mares worry.
>What kind of life can shape such a stallion?
>What tragedies hardened his heart?
>And what can they do to help?

>A mare tries her best to force herself through Anon's walls to see the stallion inside.
>And she succeeds.
>She's feels almost blessed.
>His laugh is so beautiful and smile so bright, when it's just the two of them.
>She both wishes he'd share it more freely, and hopes to hoard it to herself








>"Hey, Moondancer, do you mind if I have one of your drinks and a handful of chips? I completely forgot to bring snacks of my own today."
>Oh, shoot.
>You don't have anything fancier than delicious citris soft drinks and corn-based snacks.
>You didn't realize you'd be entertaining hot guests!
"S-Sure, Anon," you stammer nervously, cursing your clumsy tongue for already betraying you, "But I only h-have Maretain Dew and Horseritos."
>Cue the disappointed sigh and subsequent awkward silence.
>Why are colts so confus-?!
>"Oh, hey, cool. Those are great; they're pretty similar to the stuff I used to buy back home."
>WHAT
>He... he actually LIKES Maretain Dew and your crappy chips?
>AND he plays vidya?!
>You are going to latch onto this colt and never let go.
>The dykes on 4pony won't believe this!






>Rainbow is thrilled to have larger tits.
>But there's always a trade off.
>All the stimulation, an active sex life, and teen hormones running wild has fooled her body into thinking she's pregnant.
>Now she's lactating and her breasts ache unless she does something about it.
>Rainbow groans as she throws out yet another too tight sports bra with a pair of stains on the front.
>Fucking perfect

>plot twist, she actually is pregnant
>Rainbow, despite looking so small at first, hit the genetic lottery and was practically made to breed
>one one hand, that's a pretty good boost to the old ego, like being told your jizz can chemically induce orgasms, and has a ton of health benefits on the side
>but on the other, she really enjoyed her life as an athlete and isn't sure if she could keep that up as a mother
>and, above all else, she's afraid that she might end up becoming like her mom








>Anon is constantly treated delicately because he's a stallion
>He can't even get insulted like back home because mares will think he'll try and ruin their lives by getting stallions to avoid them
>During one of his discussions with Twilight about his world he brings up gravity and the rotation of the Earth, Moon and how they spin on their axis
>Twilight dismisses it as coltish whimsy citing several studies into the princesses magic
>Anon calls bullshit since they have to rely on Twilight to fight the bad guys
>They go back and forth arguing how the princesses do or don't control the sun and moon
>Eventually it gets to a point where Twilight gets so frustrated she insults him and his intelligence
>After a few seconds it dawns on Twilight what she just said to a colt
>While she's freaking out Anon can't help but smile
>Finally he has someone he can call a retard and who will call him one too
>He feels at home








>"Anon is such a good foalsitter. Did I ever tell you about the time I came to pick up my sister and found her and her friends fast asleep?"
>>"What, he managed to get the Crusaders to calm down and go to bed? Impressive."
>"No, he was asleep too, and they were all cuddled up on the couch."
>>"...would you call me a dyke if I said that was the cutest thing I've ever heard in my life?"
>"I'd call you a dyke regardless."
>>"Oh, shut up."


>You're the most stable male figure in the lives of the CMC.
>Applebloom has Mac, who loves both his sisters dearly, but the large stallion both has trouble expressing it and is a workaholic.
>Sweetie has her father, but he's so frequently away with his Sweetie's mother that his influence on her is limited at best.
>Scootaloo straight up has no one. 
>Craving paternal attention, the three latch onto you like lost puppies even if it means they have to sometimes obey orders they don't like.
>That's you you become a famed foalsitter






>he crash lands on equestria, miraculously still intact and functional.
>first pony that comes across him thinks he's a magical advisor construct, like a crystal ball on steroids.
>he plays along because he's actually being listened to for once.
>except his advice is always terrible and his own inevitably sells or throws him away.
>eventually rumors spread of the 'cursed' object and he gets picked up by a travelling merchant who happens to be a collector.
>while sat on the collectors shelf he successfully convinces one of the customers to purchase him alongside a magical great and powerful amulet.

>Trixie couldn't believe her luck, an artifact capable of helping her best that pesky know-it-all sparkle AND an audience of one she could carry around in her carriage!
>sure it was a bit creepy to hear a hot stallions voice coming from a ball the size of her head but nopony (but herself of course) was perfect.
>hot or not though he seemed to NEVER stop talking, good thing she knew how tune out colt-talk and nod in all the right places, probably some fashion tips if she heard 'necklace' just then, as if the GREAT and POWERFUL TRIIIXIE would need such assistance.






>Batponies are weird in how they're clan structured and mostly mono with the occasional pair of mares sharing one stallion.
>They also have a much more even gendro ratio, baffling scientists everywhere. Some think it has to do with bat stallions being uninterested in marrying non-bats.
>Bat mares are more open, often picking mates from outside the clan if they don't find a bat stallion they like.
>That's how you met your bat gf, who is thrilled with how open and accepting you are of her. She soon wants to make it serious and asks you to move in with her at the clan compound.
>But no one told you how strange bat ponies are.
>Some parts of clan life are expected. Working members donate small amounts of money to the clan itself. Non working members keep the compound tidy and keep everyone fed while minding foals. Everyone chips on other chores.
>Then things get odd.
>Privacy doesn't exist to them. They're extremely intimate and personal, with ponies you've met only once greeting you with full body hugs, nuzzles, and even kisses. Most doors don't have locks sans bathrooms, and that's only lavatories. Actual bathing is done in a communal bathhouse where most help each other.
>Sleeping arrangements are the same. The whole clan sleeps in a single large chamber filled with bedding with everyone often piled together unless there is something wrong with them, like illness or injury.
>Thankfully sex is restricted to bonded pairs only, finally drawing a firm line. Smaller chambers are offered to mates trying to conceive, citing clan laws saying the act of creating life is sacred and for the parents only, but for casual relations...
>You're just expected to go at it right in the sleeping chamber where anyone can watch and keep it down if others are sleeping. Messes are your own to clean.
>Bats are fucking nutty







>tfw you will never get talked into going to a sleepover by Ponk
>tfw she will never neglect to tell you that it's a girls only sleepover
>tfw Sunset and the other freak out about having you over
>Tfw Pinkie will never calm everyone down, insisting that you're just here to enjoy yourself
>Tfw it will never be just a little bit awkward at first, but you'll actually start to enjoy yourself
>tfw Pinkie will never bring out a plate of cookies; your favorite kind
>tfw she will never fail to mention that she put a few "party favors" in them to make the night a grand old time
>tfw the other girls will never just get a pleasant high from it
>tfw it will never really, really, really fuck you up because your alien biology
>tfw it's a bad trip
>tfw the girls will never have to stalk around the house, trying to find you because you disappeared
>tfw you will never believe that you're the motherfucking batman
>tfw you will never take them out one by one in nothing but a party mask (the bat mask), a bedsheet (the bat cape), and your underwear (the bat suit)
>tfw the girls realize they have a tweaked out ninja in the house muttering about batmen and jokers







>Anon is a Jedi
>Not necessarily good at his job
>He dies during order 66
>Like a bitch
>His force ghost ends up inaquestria
>Sexist poners think he has maximum male whimsy when he tells them he was essentially a space monk
>Sexist poners can't even think of a male being celibate for such a long time
>Purple smart talks down to him and gets a force tossed book to the back of the head

>forceghostAnon ties himself to the nearest force nexus to where he died in order to recuperate
>an ancient forest on a nearby planet once dubbed the "Wood of Eternal Independence" by some punk of an old republic explorer
>or, after a few thousand years of linguistic drift for the locals, the Everfree Forest
>eventually ponies discover him
>claim the mournful voice of a stallion whispers to them for help at night
>some even say that it tempts them to stay, to head deeper into the cursed forest, never to be seen again
>it really just Anon getting lonely and wanting to have an actual conversation after so long







>Cadence cheated a bit to become so jaw droppingly beautiful.
>She has an instinctual spell that shows her what a the target considers to be the most desirable version of her.
>Another self-made spell slowly changes her to match the desire.
>No one is really sure if the move is selfish or totally selfless.
>And Shining has great taste in mares, because Cadence rapidly went from just 'nice' to 'stallions accidentally dick dropping when she passes'

>In another world, Cadence married a human from earth.
>Of course, she uses the spell combo on him.
>Instead of the sleek form a normal stallion would call attractive, her transformation is profoundly different.
>Softer, rounder features. A thin layer of plush fat over her steel cable-like alicorn muscles. Added volume to her mane, tail and wings. Sharper, more defined facial features. A smaller, but much denser chest tuft. The changes continue on from minor or major, but the biggest change is to her rump and teats. Her hips widened to support a larger and meater rump and thighs. Her teats, meanwhile, enlarged from the usual small mounds on most mares to a soft handful tipped with pert nipples. They hang just low enough that some shorter ponies can see nipple from the right angle.
>Cadence on an instinctual level screams "fetile and ready to breed", breaking the usual cultural beauty standard for a much more primal one. Nevermind that the look is considered unmarely.
>Her husband is extremely enthusiastic is showing her how much he likes her new look.
>A princess suddenly changing her looks to match her alien husband's tastes sparks a rush by trendsetters to match her, creating a another rush by everyone else to be vogue as well.
>Shortly after, there was two accepted attractive body types for mares. "Conventional" and "Otherworldly"
>Cadence still makes dicks accidentally drop as she walks by.






>Anon dumps Aloe after her weird ‘test’ bullshit.
>Other mares, contrary to what he’s assumed so far, aren’t on his side.
>They all keep saying ‘that’s just how we mares are’, and call him a jerk for dumping Aloe over something that they see as minor.
>The only people who get where he’s coming from are the stallions, who he has previously dismissed as being like human women on Earth.
>Anon learns that indeed, the vast majority of mares are highly insecure and controlling in romantic relationships.
>Some stallions learn to just accept and deal with it, some look for companionship in females of other races, while others either swear off the opposite sex altogether becoming homosexuals, or just resign themselves to being alone for life.
>Anon initially thinks this might be because of the gender skew, so all mares see themselves as somewhat replaceable.
>But no, even the Princesses, the most desirable mares in all of Equestria exhibit this odd behaviors.
>Celestia’s all-male personal guards are actually her not-so-secret harem who she jealously guards against any lesser mares.
>Luna appears to be following her older sister’s lead as she reforms the night guards, and there’s historical rumors that part of the reason she became Nightmare Moon was that her stallion at the time was incapable of being nocturnal like her and she took it as a sign of infedility with her sister.
>Cadance is monogamist because she wants Shining to love only her, despite the fact that as the Princess of Love she should be the biggest advocate for herds.
>Twiggles, as much as she loves her friends, admits she’d be hesitant to share a stallion with them.
>Herds are necessary not just because of the gender skew but because it’d leave so many crazy mares to their own devices that it’d lead to Equestria’s downfall.
>Anon realizes that he’s trapped in Yandere Hell






>She wants to follow you to the market? Of course, and you'll follow her to work.
>She wants you to wear an enchanted locket that'll let her know your exact location at all times? Best to get her one too, you can even put each other's pictures in each one.
>She wants to join you whenever you hang out with a female friend? Oh hey, she's hanging out with her best friend and her best friend's brother, you should tag along too.
>Uh-oh, the spell on the enchanted locket faded. Guess neither of you are leaving the house without the other until you get them fixed.
>In fact, you both decide, let's just never be apart again.
>You'll never reveal each other's embarrassing secrets. Hers being that she cried for three hours straight when she realized she wouldn't wake up alone on her up-coming birthday






>Vanilla RGRE makes contact with Anon-Married-Cadance RGRE
>Twilight was experimenting with the Crystal Mirror and accidentally discovered another alternate universe, this one much closer to her own than EqG
>Everypony on both sides decides to meet their counterparts.
>Most ponies are the same in both worlds until they get to Cadance.
>Aside from just looking different and marrying a different guy, Anon and his Cadance also have more foals than Shining and his Cadance.
>A natural consequence of having such a breedable body is that the two of them have sex a lot more often. That’s not to say Vanilla Cadance isn’t attractive, even Anon admits she’s a knockout, just a different kind than what he prefers.
>But his Cadance got pregnant with their first kid shortly before the two of them were even out of high school, forcing them to get married soon after graduation.
>Their oldest, Venus, is slightly younger than the CMC. Their middle foal, Skyla, is around Pipsqueak’s age. Their youngest, Hestia, is the same age as Flurry Heart.
>Vanilla Cadance and Shining are curious as to how they have time to keep the spark alive with three kids already. 
>Anon and his Cadance explain that they make sure to still go on dates regularly in-between child rearing and royal duties, which they often schedule far in advance.
>That and they’ve both developed a breeding fetish thanks to her new body and the act itself of making more foals turns them on like nothing else







>Twilight (or any nerd pony who has a lot of magic and talent, but not a lot of common sense) is tired of being a virgin.
>She's tired of suffering through yet another heat alone.
>So she does what any reasonable mare with her abilities would do.
>She summons a incubus to fuck her silly.
>Sure, it'll cost her a bit of life force, but that's an even trade for finally punching her V-card and quenching her estrus.
>She summons Anon, and instantly assumes she's succeeded.
>He's just a human, but she doesn't need to know that.
>Especially after she mentions she'll be sending him back as soon as the deed is done.
"What of the Demon's Deal?"
>"Excuse me?"
"You cannot summon a demon, let alone ask for a favor, without first offering something in return."
>B-but my life force-"
"You think I couldn't find a hundred other mares for such a thing? And I would not be so inconvenienced as to be taken against my wishes and sealed in a dingy basement."
"W-what else could I give you?"
"I have something in mind, though I won't tell you until after we do the deed."
>"No way! You're going to ask for my soul! I'm not stupid!"
"It won't be your soul. It won't even harm anyone. As a matter of fact. I think we'll both be happy with it."
>"..."
"Come on... you know you want me. That heat must be so bothersome."
>"F-fine... I'll do it."
"Good choice."

>After sex, and Anon living up to everything she expected of a lust demon and more, she asks, "That was amazing... but what is it I have to give you before I send you back to wherever you're from?"
"Oh, it's simple, really. I just want your hoof in marriage."
>"... What?"
"Of course, as your husband, it won't do for me to live on a completely different realm, so I'll have to stay here with you. I'm sure you have the room, though."
>"... What!?"
>Anon did not want to leave Equestria.
>So much so, that he didn't even want to risk it.
>It isn't that his life is terrible, but it's drab, repetitive and lacking affection.
>This is why he goes along with the demon shtick.
>Even if he told them he wasn't one, but that he wanted to stay, the ponies still might have sent him back.
>"You simply don't belong here."
>"You can't run from your problems."
>"You'll thank us when you see your family again."
>He didn't know what they would have said for sure, but he wasn't going to give them the opportunity to boot him back to Earth.
>And when he is confronted by the Princesses, he makes this clear.
>"No, Twilight, I do not care what you've promised, we are not letting a demon remain in Equestria."
"Well, you don't have much choice, as far as I can tell."
>All the ponies turn to the human who iss standing, bound by magic.
>"Excuse me?" Celestia asks.
"She's already agreed. The deal has been sealed, and to break it is... not advisable."
>"Wait, what would happen?" Twilight asks fearfully.
"If a Demon's Deal is broken, the soul of the defector is dragged to the Demon Realm to be tortured for all eternity. It's very powerful, ancient magic, I'm afraid, so there's no getting around it."
>"You will release Twilight from the contract at once, Demon!" Luna bellows, but it has little affect on the target, who stares blandly.
"Sorry, but it's out of my hands. The deal was made in blood-"
>"There wasn't any blood!"
"I seem to recall some on my member when I popped your cherry."
>Twilight blushes, mouth snapping shut.
>Celestia sighs.
>Welp, it looks like Equestria's getting a new prince.
>And a demon one at that.
>Joy.

>Twilight is beating her head off the wall.
>"Stupid. Stupid. Stupid."
>Thar was so stupid.
>Celestia had always told her that estrus and ancient spell books didn't go together.
>Why didn't she listen?
>And now she's gone and bargained her hoof and soul to a demon for a little fun.
>... Well, a lot of fun, if she's being honest.
>She knew sex was supposed to feel good, but wow.
>She could barely walk when all was said and done.
>Still, now she's married to an incubus that will probably eat her in her sleep.
>Stupid clit and its stupid, self-destructive ideas.
>The door opens, and you walk in.
"You know, I'm new to this husband thing, but I feel I'm supposed to stop my wife from making herself concussed."
>"A-Anon!"
"Yes. Me."
>Twilight forces a smile.
>"So... husband... what do you want?"
>You shrug.
"Don't really have any plans. This was all sort of sprung on me, after all."
>Twilight blushes, feeling guilty despite herself.
>"Yeah... sorry about that. Must have been pretty jarring, getting summoned out of the blue, and all."
"Don't be sorry," you tell her. "It may not have been planned, but I'm certainly content with the results."
>"You are?"
"Yes,. It was my idea to get married, remember?"
>"Yeah... why is that actually?"
"I didn't want to go back to E... The Demon Realm. Staying in Equestria as the husband of a Princess is a far better alternative."
>"Um, I guess I can see that."
>Twilight doesn't know what the Demon Realm is like, but she doubts it is pleasant.
>She shivers as her mind supplies images of fire, brimstone, and eternal sorrow.
>Looking at her new husband, she actually feels a little glad she could rescue him from such a place.
>He may be a beast of Lust and Evil, but no stallion deserves that sort of thing.
>... Plus, he really is kind of cute.
>... And great in the sack

>Twilight eventually learns that there isn't actually a deal stopping her from dismissing Anon.
>But she also learns he was desperate enough to hijack a magical summoning call, play the role of a lust demon for her, and lie to alicorns to escape his life of loneliness.
>His skills in magic are minimal, so he had no way of defending himself if found out. If he was summoned by something more hostile...
>Twilight's anger and betrayal at being lied to fade no matter how much she wants to remain mad. Instead she feels only pity. Why would he risk death or worse to run away from Earth?

>"Was it really so bad?"
"It was fake."
>"Excuse me?"
You sigh, laying your head against her belly.
"People are liars. And I don't mean that in some sort of 'all humans are evil' sort of way. No, it's more like... humans are just better at hiding what we think, and what we feel. I mean, look at how easily I was able to convince you all that I was a demon."
>She blushes.
>"Okay, but surely that's not bad enough to leave an entire world behind."
"Twilight, do you know why I was so taken with you when I first saw you? Why I played along?"
>"No..."
"It's because, for the first time, I was looking at someone, and I wasn't trying to guess if what was on the surface was a reflection of what was inside. I looked at you, and I saw a desperate, horny nerd. I had you pinned in the first couple minutes after meeting you."
>"Ouch..."
"Don't be ashamed. I've lived my whole life always wondering if what I saw of people was real, or just another of a thousand masks. It's human nature; we're a very complex people. It's admirable in some ways when compared to ponies, but like I said, it's tiring."
>"So... you wanted to live in Equestria because ponies are... simple?"
"Pretty much. Even when a pony tries to lie, they absolutely suck at it."
>"We do?"
"Yep. Why do you think I've been so useful sitting in at your court?"
>"Well, I thought it was some demon power that you could always see lies."
"Nope, just that you ponies are pants liars. Frankly, I don't know how you miss it in each other. Your tells are all so... blatant."
>"Sorry we're not better liars, oh superior human."
"Don't get snarky with me. And besides, I just said that's why I like you ponies. You're honest, even when you're not."
>"Is that really so amazing?"
"Twilight, you've said on multiple occasions that you have trouble telling what I'm thinking, or if I'm being honest."
>"Yes..."
"Now imagine if you had that sort of trouble with every single pony in the world?"
>"That would be... a nightmare."
>"Exactly."





>Since Twilight has become a princess, Ponyville has grown rapidly.
>Every pony wants to live in the once-Podunk town with the new, big, shiny castle.
>Because of this expansion, one little school house with one teacher just doesn't cut it anymore.
>Luckily, a well-respected teacher has just so happened to have fallen into Equestria, and needs a job
>Thus FemAnon becomes Ponyville's new teacher, helping Cheerilee with the growing number of foals in need of an education.
>FemAnon, for her part, takes the job very seriously, and makes sure she's teaching the ponies the right thing.
>She understands that this is a different world with many different rules, so she researches every new topic she is meant to teach even more thoroughly than the foals are expected to.
>This means she spends a lot of time in Twilight's new royal library, and an equal amount of time with the little draconian assistant, Spike.
>FemAnon has actually taken a liking to the boy.
>He's very helpful, nice, and cute as a button to boot.
>It's through these interactions, however, that worry grows in the woman's heart.
>Where does he go to school?
>He doesn't, he explains.
>Twilight taught him.
>He's home schooled, then?
>Yep... well, not so much anymore.
>Once he learned to read and write, lessons slowed, and since becoming a princess, Twilight hasn't had much time to teach him stuff.
>He still studies occasionally, he assures the teacher.
>It doesn't work, and FemAnon fears the poor boy's education has fallen to the wayside of royalty and world-saving.
>No child left behind, she always says, and that now includes little dragons.
>It's a hard sell, but FemAnon convinces Twilight to let Spike go to school.
>He's both worried and excited by the prospect.
>As much as he doesn't want to lose his position as #1 assistant, the idea of being a kid instead of working all day is a novel one.
>He'll get to learn and play with other foals instead of waiting on Twilight fore and hindhoof






>Applejack has complex feelings for Anon
>He's hard working, he's straight forward, and he isn't a gold digger
>He's so different from most stallions, and she can't help but admire that
>But at the same time, he teases her
>Anon is always walking around in those clothes of his, conceiling his cock and yet showing off that bulge through the material
>He claims he isn't doing anything on purpose, but she knows - she KNOWS - he's bending over so much around her on purpose
>And so, like any well-raised mare, Applejack worries for Anon
>If he keeps that sort of behaviour up, he's going to find himself around a mare who has much less restraint than Applejack has
>Some mare will just pull him into a backalley, rip off those sluty pants and sexy shirt, and ride his dick
>She'll even smother his face with her tuft to muffle the sobbing and cries for help
>What Anon needs is a well-raised mare to keep him on the straight and narrow
>One who won't stand for his teasing, slutty ways
>One who will protect him from any mare who tries something inappropriate with him
>A mare who gets all his cuddles and all the dickings he can offer
>And Applejack is determined to be that mare
>Anon will be working her fields and warming her bed in no time, if she has anything to say about it






>You get dropped into RGRE in a Solaire costume you had at a con right in the middle of Canterlot.
>Right as Celestia and a squad of guards
>Confused and more than a little shaken, you try to play yourself off as a sun worshipping pilgrim when you see the biggest horse, Celestia, is obviously associated with the sun.
>The guards buy it, but Celestia is aware of both your otherworldliness (when you've been around for millennia, something new stands out starkly) and your facade. Even then, she decides against antagonizing a lost and confused colt. 
>Instead, she offers you a job as an aid and adviser both out of mercy and out of the desire to keep an eye on you.
>You, still in character, accept with enthusiasm. Not that you had many options anyway.
>Turns out, an alien male's approach to some of Celestia's problems worked, validating your employment.
>As you spend more time around Celestia, both befriending her and learning about her, she becomes more and more godlike on your eyes.
>And with that faith her, she unconsciously rewards you with slivers of her power and magic like an actual god would do.
>Your character becomes less of a character and more the true you.
>So began both your career as an advisor and your decent into zealotry.

>Celestia humours Anon at first because when you catch a colt deep in the midst of hysterics, you don't yank him out lest you cause him psychological harm.
>It's like how you aren't supposed to wake a sleep-walker.
>That's what the dated, sexist horse-psychologists say, anyway. Right next to the article about how orgasms are treatment for a hysterical stallion.
>Celestia keeps him around just in case the hysteria gets worse and he becomes a danger to himself and others, because she's the most powerful being in a hundred horse-mile radius.
>She patiently waits for Anon to calm down and reveal the sandwich-making foal-siring human stallion she's certain he was before he popped into Equestria
>It's about when she realizes there's the beginnings of actual worship coming from her distressed friend that Celestia steps in and puts a stop to it
>She gently but firmly tells Anon that she never believed his act to begin with, but was concerned enough for him to let him work through his issues on his own
>Anon still has more than enough presence of mind to drop the act, and finally reveals the real Anon to Celestia
>Their friendship deepens quickly now that one of them isn't playing make-believe all the time
>Celestia realizes that Anon does not have a sandwich-making, foal-siring inner-self that is just waiting for a patient, sexy, tall, sun-controlling mare to gently encourage him to reveal.
>As Celestia finally gets to know Anon, she begins wonder if she's more disappointed that he won't be making her any sandwiches, or if he won't be siring any of her foals.
>"...not yet, anyway."

>Celestia sometimes needs to break the worship her advisor and closest friend loses himself to. Idly she wonders of it's an issue all humans have.
>She does things that remind him she's not perfect and made of flesh too. 
>Little mare things do it. Pigging out at a dinner, blowing a short fart, leaving a dildo and porn mag on her bed, those usually chase away his zealotry for a few weeks.
>The one time she let him walk in on her masturbating kept him level for months. 
>But not a permanent fix...
>Celestia toys with the idea of adding "personal consort" to his list of duties so he can see her at her absolute worst, hopefully shattering his image of her.







>Anon in RGREqG
>Student at school, etc etc
>Special friends with Sunset
>As the days go by and he's exposed more and more to RGR males and the societal expectations of the world he's in, Anon starts fitting in more and more
>One day, Anon sees two guys wearing the same outfit and has a particularly catty thought about them
>Something you'd expect to hear from a chick in high school
>The realization hits Anon like a sack of bricks
>"Oh, no."
>"I'm becoming one of them."
>Immediately seeks out Sunset and buries his face in between her tits
>She wraps her arms around him and rubs his back
"I d-don't want to go make you a sandwich!"
>"Shh, shh... I know you don't, Anon."
"I swear, fashion means nothing to me!"
>"You dress as cluelessly as any of my female friends do, Anon."
"I-I-I just wanna stay here for a while, okay?"
>"Stay as long as you like."
>Meanwhile, a few girls pass and mutter about what a lucky bitch Sunset is to have a guy pressing his face into her tits





>Rainbow Dash actually feels insecure about herself more than she'd like to admit
>The constant praise from her parents started her on the road to becoming the near pro athlete she is now
>Constant comments from her PE teachers about how she's a natural at sports just added to it
>The other kids praising her only went to inflate her ego, and her insecurities further
>Now she's captain of every sports team
>It's basically everything she wanted and what was expected of her
>At least it's what she thought she wanted
>She does legitimately love sports for sure
>But being in charge of every team, having to plan all the training and matches
>While still keeping enough spare time to train, study and hang out with her friends is starting to wear her down
>She doesn't even have time to pursue relationships despite her claims
>After she's done it for years it's starting to seriously wear down on her mental health
>Of course being a girl means she has to keep it together or become the laughing stock of the school
>Enter you
>Where most guys were put off by her constant exercising, dirty clothing and crass humour, you found it endearing
>Over time she found herself hanging out with you more and more
>Before she knew it you and her are dating
>Now she has to add juggling being a good girlfriend to her already full schedule
>Now she's starting to feel even more insecure
>With how long she's away from you, why wouldn't you pursue someone on the side
>Whenever you tell her you love her she knows she should feel joy, but she only feels dread
>She's never been more tempted to finally break down and get everything of her chest
>But she doesn't want to ruin your image of her and leave her
>Despite you adding to her hectic schedule you're one of the things that help her to keep herself together







>Equestria was supposed to be awesome
>That's what all those commercials said
>That's what the job importing place said too
>A world of magic and friendship, filled with jaw dropping and fantastical things
>During your twelve months of orientation and screening to cross the portal that's what had been shoveled down your throat
>That and the good pay and nice benefits you'd get even for lowly farmwork
>And yeah, most of what everyone said was pretty sure
>There was a lot of fuck-off magic and weird shit
>You came here on a wooden ship that was flying through the air via hot air balloon
>The pay was also a hell of a lot better than anything you could get back home, and these ponies seemed to not want to financially rape you if you stubbed your toe
>But there was a problem in paradise it seemed
>For the last twenty minutes you had been sitting in the corner of this little diner, your back pressed up against the wall
>Across the room, watching you intently, was this little pink horse
>Well, she wasn't actually all that little
>She was like a head and a half taller than a normal pony
>Had a pair of wings and a horn too
>You knew that they had talked about all pony races during orientation, but fuck if you had paid any attention to that shit
>This pony was flipped around in one of the booths
>Her hooves hung over the edge and her head rested at the top of it
>There was a smile on her face as her bright purple eyes stared at you intently
>You could even see her multi-colored tail draped at the end of her seat
>It was all very cute
>Everything that these damn ponies did was cute
>But there was something off about this medium-sized alien dog-horse
>You didn't know what exactly
>It was like there was something tickling the back of your mind
>A lingering unease
>That unexplainable feeling that made the hair on the back of your neck stand on end
>The horse blinked, the tip of her horn glowing so that she could pick up the drink she had behind her
till not taking her eyes off you, she wrapped her lips around the straw and started sucking, the sound of which was audible all the way over here 
>This dog-horse was up to no good
>You could feel it in your bones...

~_~_~_~_~_~
>Be Cadence
>There was a silly hyoo-man across the room
>You wondered it he likes peetzer...

>She starts asking what mares he's into.
>He thinks she's trying to flirt with him.
>She's just trying to set him up with a waifu.
>Shining comes back from the bathroom. and just nonchalantly joins the conversation.
>Anon thinks he's trying to get dragged into some weird sex thing.
>Shining just recognizes when his wife is having a shipping moment.
>When Twilight walks in with Flurry attached to the side of her head the human wonders if he should called the ponice.
>Twilight's happy to meet a new friend.
>Flurry loves her Auntwi rides


>Sunset and Cadance actually used to be best friends as teenagers
>The pink alicorn was the only one who could get the surly unicorn to open up and have fun.
>They even talked about promising to join the same herd once they got older.
>When Sunset and Celestia had their falling out, Cadance took Celestia’s side which Sunset saw as a betrayal of their friendship.
>There was yelling and harsh words exchanged between the two of them.
>After Sunset disappeared, Cadance immediately felt guilty. Perhaps if she had been a better friend then Sunset wouldn’t have run away.
>That’s part of the reason she’s monogamous with Shining. She still holding out hope that her BFF will return someday






>Shining’s Cadance has sort of mellowed out compared to her youth.
>Anon’s Cadance still has that hyperactive youthful exuberance, even with three foals. In fact, having kids only seemed to exacerbate it. She can still calm down and act like an adult when the situation requires it, but she’s definitely the less strict parent out of the two of them, which forces Anon into the role of disciplinarian and rule enforcer more often than that.
>Whereas Shining’s Cadance places more importance on setting a good example for Flurry Heart. Shining supports this, his time with the Royal Guard instilling within him the necessity for discipline and routine. They aren’t ‘no fun allowed’ parents of course, but they’d be noticeably stricter on Flurry as she grows older.
>When they notice the differences in how they act, both Cadances are confused and weirded out.
>”Did it really take me getting with Shining to lose my fun side? No offense.”
>”None taken. Don’t you worry about setting a good example for your foals?”
>”All the time, but that’s no reason to be stuffy about it, y’know? They’re going to be future Princesses when they grow up, but right now they’re just foals. Honestly, you sound like my husband. Anon worries too much about their future.”




>Ponies are unhappy with Applejack and her farm after she hires Anon
>She can tell that Anon is more like her brother than a regular stallion, and she tries (and succeeds sometimes) not to treat him like one
>The ponies of Ponyville, however, see it differently
>"That Applejack has two colts working on her farm. She's off having adventures with her friends, and that leaves poor Macintosh and the hoo-man, Anon, to do all the hard work! It's just not right."
>>"What, do they WANT to lose money? It's not like either one of those colts would be able to produce as many apples as a mare like Applejack."
>"Dunno. Maybe she just doesn't like stallion? She was raised by her grandmother, after all, and she came from a different time."




http://powerlisting.wikia.com/wiki/Enhanced_Axemanship
>Pick up an axe
>Start a lumber mill business
>Sell wood to Applejack on a discount for when she needs to fix fences, pens or the farmhouse
>Maybe try cutting down some Everfree trees see if they have properties that make them different from regular Equestrian one
>Try helping Applejack get rid of old dead trees and plant new one
>Offer my services to some of the others in the Apple family
>Become a sort of Johnny Appleseed





>Being the host to a symbiote isn't easy
>Actually it's really easy
>Super strength, speed, endurance, healing factor
>All you have to do is feed it
>It's a pretty sweet deal
>You're basically a super hero
>Being the only human you reckoned ponies would know who you were immediately
>You were fine with that, you had sort of resigned yourself to being alone when you got sent here away from your friends and family
>But that was alright, no one to get hurt because of you
>Plus if you got ambushed when you were just walking around the symbiote could come out in a snap and deal with it
>All in all life has been good so far
>Except for the fact that the symbiote has psychopathic and violent tendencies
>There's also the fact that it's voice is constantly egging you on in the back of your mind
>At least it's easy on the ears
>Surprisingly feminine for something that came from space
>Also surprisingly sexist
>Constantly tells you to let her take over so you can "save your energy to use at home"
>When that doesn't work it tries to force it's way into taking over
>You're disappointed that it's been able to a few times
>But you always managed to get it away from crowded areas, ponies got hurt but nopony died
>Of course this led you to getting drop kicked by the red and blue web slinging super hero of this city
>Spidermare
>She was really cool
>You'll be honest you've wanted to meet her for a long time
>The symbiote was not happy when she learned that fact
>You had to make her favourite meal so she didn't go on a killing spree
>But hey, at least you got to meet your idol
>Sadly you're webbed up and upside down
>Fantastic
>She tried seeing under your mask
>The symbiote DEFINITELY didn't like the idea of "anyone but her touching you"
>It's only just occurred to you that you and the symbiote may view your relationship differently
>Anyway, long story short the symbiote snapped, took control and nearly killed Spider Mare
>Weirdly though you weren't hated immediately
>You actually got the full support of Jay Julie Jasmine
>She often encouraged your actions
>Sadly she also encouraged the actions of the symbiote when it was working alone
>She even went so far as to undermine everytime that spider-mare saved the city to make her look like the villain and make you look better
>Honestly you weren't too big a fan of hers but she stopped you from getting lynched so that was good
>You actually bumped into her in an alleyway while on patrol
>You were only able to answer one question because the symbiote was getting annoyed at another mare being so close to you
>Yeah, you and the symbiote definitely view your relationship differently
>You're gonna need to have a talk with her
>That's gonna be awkward
>A few days later the symbiote took over again and you ended up getting into one of the most intense fights with Spidermare you've had
>It was exhilarating and terrifying
>After getting into a crowded street all the cheering caused the symbiote to become more sluggish from the noise
>Spidermare was smart enough to put two and two together to figure out the symbiote's weakness
>She wasn't able to contain you for long before the symbiote retreated
>But she did keep you long enough for the symbiote to peel away from your face revealing you
>The next day the entire city was in uproar
>Mare's calling for Spidermare's head for beating a colt, and JJJ's head for encouraging you
>Stallion's were pretty happy though
>Started selling merchandise of you
>Honestly it was kind of nice to see
>All the way from the rooftops
>Cause when you stepped out of your house you were met with a huge mob of white knighting mares and stallion fans
>Like "they filled the whole street" huge mob
>Imagine your surprise when you see Spidermare and JJJ sitting on one of those roofs, passing a cheap bottle of booze to and fro






>Someway, somehow, ANOTHER symbiote lands on Earth.
>You, a normal guy, are the first to encounter it and becomes it's host.
>Thankfully, this symbiote isn't crazy or evil, it's actually one of the outnumbered benevolent ones.
>After seeing all the crazy shit that heros and all their rivals/villains do, you decide to lay low. The powers provided by your symbiote are incredible, but you really don't want to fight for your life every day.
>It works for a time. You live your life with the symbiote as your side as a constant companion. Before long, it becomes your most trusted friend.
>Yeesh. Being such a loser that your best friend is an alien that literally cannot live without someone else. That's something.
>'Don't think that!' the symbiote always scolds. 'We are true friends. Now and always.'
>From the nurturing nature it has, you've always referred to your symbiote as female, and she's never bothered to stop you. Infact, from how she changed her mental voice from neutral to distinctly feminine, she probably approves.
>But like anyone with powers, life decides to fuck with you.
>You wake up one morning to find the town on fire and the Fantastic Four duking it out with Dr Doom just outside.
>One deflected Doom power later, and you're dropped into RGREqG (or just RGRE)
>Suddenly, a normal guy like you is now swimming in female attention. Frankly ANY attention is strange to you.
>And for the first time, the symbiote has competition for your affection.
>It's not a pleasing feeling


>Anon starts to get a bit more socially active as he eases into Equestrian life
>He goes out and enjoys the nightlife, dancing and drinking 
>After one particular night where he let a mare get a little too frisky, his symbiote but his foot down
>"Look, Anon. I know these hussies don't really mean anything to you."
>Anon nodded slowly. It was just a bit of fun, right?
>"I'm not going to stop you from doing what you like, but I insist you have protection."
>Well, that made sense
"Yeah, I always wrapped it before. Not planning on rawdogging anypony."
>Anon watched as his own hand rose out of his lap and shook a finger at himself
>"Condoms break, Anon. We'll have to do better than that, and I know just the thing...

>"Come on, Anon... I won't tell, and you know you want this..."
>Anon gulped audibly as he looked down at the svelte little mare that was stretching in front of him in... Interesting ways
>Just the right amount of cheap booze and infuriatingly coquettish flirting had brought him here
>The local club's champagne room
>You knew from rumors and second-hand bragging that Chris Rock hadn't been singing about Equestria 
>"You like what you see, big guy? I know I do..."
>A tail flagged, and the mare treated you to the old double wink
"Yes ma'am! I like it very much!"
>The mare let out a lusty chuckle, waving a hoof at him
>"Well, get those silly clothes you insist on wearing off, and we can get a little more intimately acquainted..."
>Nodding vigorously, Anon stripped down and slid in behind the mare, laying a hand gingerly on her flank
>She blanched as she felt something... Monstrous probe at her nethers
>"W-wow, I figured you were big Anon, but that's a little... Actually, a lot more than I bargained for..."
'Cut that out, Symmy,'
>'What? You need all the protection I can give you against this slut's filthy hole.'
>Anon reached down and grabbed ahold of himself, rolling his eyes at the ridiculous lengths his partner could go to sometimes







>Pony walking down the street. Smile.
>Pony reading a book. Smile.
>Pony eating dinner. Smile.
The one that would cause me trouble would be smiling at cashiers and making small talk when I want to do is get my shopping done and move onto things i actually want to do.
>You're going about your day as usual, buying a few things for around the house.
>Deciding to pick up some Equestrian-styled snack food, aka fresh fruit, you stop by Applejack's stall.
>"Well howdy, there Ahnon! How's it goin'?"
"Hmm? Oh, fine, I guess. You know, same old same old," you answer as you pull out your bit back and give a quick count. "How much can I get for three bits?"
>"Mmm, I reckon three apples would be fair."
"Three apples then," you answer setting the bits down.
>You wait calmly for the mare to put your purchase in a little paper bag, looking around with blank expression at the other ponies milling about the market.
>"Here ya go!" Applejack says with no small amount of cheer as she hooves over the bag.
"Thanks," you say, grabbing it and turning away. "See you around."
>With a lackluster wave over your shoulder, you walk away, not noticing AJ's frown.

>Geez, What crawled up his plot?
>Not a single smile, and he barely even had a conversation with me.
>No, how are you doing, Applejack?
>Or, how's the farm?
>Not even asking about the family.
>Then he just wonders off.
>How stuck up.
"Bastard," Applejack mumbles under her breath as the human disappears from view.
>That stallion was just so rude


>Ponies think Maud and Anon would make a cute couple.
>Ignore Briar.
>Briar is a lie.
>Anyway.
>They're so much alike, both being stone-faced and of very few words.
>Did they say cute?
>They meant creepy.
>Regardless, they get the two together for a pseudo date.
>Later, Anon is asked how things went.
"Fine," he answers with a shrug. "A little boring, to be honest."
>What
"No offense, Pinkie, but I think your sister might be autistic."
>"She's stoic!"







>Anon only arrived in Equestria with what he had on at the time.
>One shirt, one pair of pants, and one set of undergarments.
>Also no money since his wallet was on the desk at the time.
>Those pennies would have been worth a fortune in Equestria, damn it.
>On top of that, clothing is expensive in Equestria, and even generous Rarity isn't going to make a complete wardrobe for a stranger for free.
>In the end, Anon starts to live as a semi-nudist, not because he wants to fit in, but because he doesn't have the money to spent on clothes and doesn't want to wear out what he has.
>He splurges mostly on underwear and just walks around in that most days.
>Shirts and pants become a fancy occasion only sort of deal







>Her Mind reading has a quasi-osmosis effect.
>His mind lacks so much intelligence while hers holds so much that some of her smarts is being slowly transferred into him.
>She's technically getting a little dumber, but she doesn't care.
>Part of being a mare is providing for your stallion.
>And sometimes, providing requires some sacrifice.
>Anon loves her all the more for it.






>You are Anon, and you are sitting in your home, reading a book
>Twilight's sister is standing guard nearby, eyes sharp and looking for danger
>Doesn't she have a wife to fuck, or something?
>KNOCK KNOCK
>OH BOY WHO'S AT THE DO-OOPH
>"Get down!"
>CLOPPIDY CLOPPIDY CLOPPIDY
>You are promptly rugby tackled to the ground by a waist-height horse, who proceeds to race to your front door
>"Who goes there?! By the authority of the Canterlot Guard and the Empress of the Crystal Empire, I order you to identify yourself!"
>A minute or two later, Gleaming finally answers the door to find an unconscious Fluttershy on the doorstep
"Thanks, Gleaming," you mutter as you step over the guardmare to scoop up Fluttershy, "I feel so safe now that I've been tackled in my own home. I appreciate you protecting me from one of my friends."
>Gleaming just chuckles nervously
>"Y-You're welcome, m'lord..."
>Why is everyone in Twilight's family a sperg?






>Gleaming and the rest of her squad are standing at attention
>Anon introduces himself
>One dumbass sni kers when Anon tells them that he will be in charge
>"As if a stallion could be in charge"
>The whole places goes dead quiet
>Anon channels the energy of Sergeant Hartman
"WHO THE FUCK SAID THAT?! WHO'S THE DUMB DAUGHTER OF A BASTARD THAT SIGNED HER OWN DEATH WARRENT?!"
>No pony answers
>"I-i did"
>Anon angerly marches over to her
"It was you? What's your name?"
>"N-nightsky!"
"Nightsky? No now your name is Dirty Sanchez!! Do you like that Sanchez!?"
>"No!"
"NO WHAT?!"
>"SIR NO SIR!"






>Gleaming and Cadance thought they were lesbo for the longest time
>hell, they even went to a few... disreputable establishments to see if any of the stallions there would "make it rain," as it were
>but no dice
>this went on for years, and unfortunately for them (but fortunately for a certain unnamed noble), there was no sign of it stopping
>until they met Anon and started their little "show-herd" with him
>at first, it was just a way to cover their tracks and back them up if those without their best interests at heart were to find out the truth, or keep them from learning it at all
>good news and bad news on that front
>bad news is that it doesn't seem to be working
>their greatest foe, a very traditionalist mare with holding that could theoretically expand into the crystal empire, showed no sign of slowing down in her pursuit of uncovering their degenerate secrets
>good news is that, suprise surprise, the herd actually seemed to be working in a different way!
>at first it was a few damper-than-normal patches of "morning dew" in the morning after some questionably platonic dates (purely for appearences sake)
>then it was their eyes tracking him whenever he went to and fro the castle's pool
>then the fantasies came fast and HARD
>before they knew it, they were beating down his door, tackling him to the bed, and holding his hand
>their faces when, just before Baroness McCrusty-Cunt is about to "reveal their immoral degenerecy" to all of Equestria's nobility at the Grand Galloping Gala, they stand up to make their own announcement
>their faces when they announce that they're both pregnant in front of all of Equestria's nobles, proving once and for all that they're NOT DYKES






>be Anon
>Live on Quiet Mountain 
>It's a very little town with mostly pegasi
>Kinda spooky at night because of the fog that rolls in every night
>The spookiest factor went up when you caught a group of ponies staring at you with glassy eyes
>When you blinked they were no longer staing
>It was as if they never looked in your general direction
>Why does this town remind you of something?
>Whatever
>Some mare has been handing out fliers for some new sex cult that popped up in town
>Fuck that you've seen enough horror movies and played enough horror games to know where that is going
>The next day you were about to get the fuck out of Dodge but you were stopped
>By what?
>A fucking cult chanting your name
>The fog made it near impossible to see for more than a foot ahead
>Fuck why does this feel so familiar?!







>Every pony told him he wouldn't be able to make it on his own.
>His friends, the Elements, insisted he just let them take care of him.
>He'd prove them all wrong!
>He's no mooch!
>He's no chump!
>Anon sets out to make it big.

>Several Months Later

"Spare change?" Anon asks while hobbled under a box. "Spare change?"
>"Anon?"
"Huh?"
>"Anon, is that you?"
>The human, frightened, slams the folds of his box closed.
>"Anon! It's me, Rarity! Don't be frightened."
>Anon peeks out.
"Rarity...?"
>"Yes, it's me, your friend. I was just in Manehattan to check in on my business here."
>She looks at the box, and the grimy human, and tuts.
>"You poor thing..."
>Anon blushes, but the same fire that had him storm out of Ponyville has long since died after living on the streets.
>"Anon, I cannot in good conscious leave you like this. You are coming back to Ponyville this instant so that I can take care of you."
"But-"
>"No buts, mister. Now you gather up your things and we'll be on the first train back home. Don't you worry ,darling, I'll help you get back on your hooves and regain your strength."
>'Rarity, I couldn't. Not after all the stuff I said. I'd look like such a fool..."
>"Pish-posh. It's all water under the bridge," she says with a dismissive wave of her hoof.
>With a spark of inspiration, she smirks and adds, "You know, Sweetie Belle really misses her favorite foal sitter."
"Really?" Anon asks, getting a nod from the mare that causes a tentative smile to form on his cracked lips. "Well... I missed her too."
>"And she'll be ecstatic if you'd come back to see her."
"Yeah, you're right," Anon agrees. "For her. I'm coming back for Sweetie Belle, not because I'm a loser who can't make it on his own."
>Rarity's smile becomes sympathetic.
>"You certainly aren't. Now come, we can stop by a food cart on the way to the station. You look like you could use a nice meal."







>Babs wanders into town
>Claims she's hot shit and knows all about colts
>These are all lies; she's as clueless as your average mare when it comes to the fairer sex
>Her attempts at wooing Anon ("Ay, cousin, I'll betcha you could pick any old colt in town and ol' Babs here will have him in her bed by the end of the week.") are awkward
>Not "this pony is a nerd and she's trying to talk about her level 12 paladin" awkward
>But "this mare is a casually-misandristic douche" awkward
>It's like she's TRYING to be a douche, but she just sounds like some kid trying to talk big for the first time
>Calls him "sugar dick" and slaps him on the ass, but immediately starts fretting when she sees Anon wince and stumbles over herself to ask if he's okay
>When Anon says "yes", she (after a brief moment of obvious relief) goes back to calling him "babe" and treating him like a walking cock
>It's such an obvious act that it's actually pretty funny
>Instead of being offended by any of this, Anon thinks it's hilarious and puts up with it
>She doesn't make any progress with him until her douchey behaviour starts slipping and she begins to behave like an actual friend around Anon
>Babs may or may not realize why she's making headway and believes it's because of her douchey behaviour
>Anon mocks her accent mercilessly







>Anon somehow manages to charm not only Rainbow, but Fluttershy too.
>He was with Rainbow first for several months before Fluttershy timidly approached them about the possibility of a small herd.
>It was a no brainer for you and Rainbow to let her in.
>But there is a snag.
>Fluttershy's brother, Zephyr. 
>Having bought heavily into masculism, he accidentally sabotaged himself by taking education in nonsensical classes, IE gender studies.
>No one told him just how oversaturated the market is for niche subjects like the ones he studied, and he doesn't want to fall back on mane dressing.
>But he already moved out of his parents house and out of Cloudsdale. To go back now would be a blow to his pride.
>Instead, he takes the less embarrassing option and goes to his sister, knowing she can't turn him down while he 'gets back on his hooves'.
>And she can't. What mare turns away her needy brother?
>One that wants a serious social demerit, that's who. Rainbow and Anon reluctantly allow it lest backlash come back to hit Fluttershy.
>Zephyr and Anon had already butted heads in the past (mostly over Rainbow), but the sudden proximity makes outright hate fester.
>Zephyr despises Anon for being a capable male, a beacon of masculism, then deciding to be a 'lowly househusband' and embrace his gender role. To Zephyr, Anon's choice hurts the cause, which does have some validity since stallions DO have less rights than mares. The one mare Zephyr wants but can't have also living with him drives him insane.
>Anon hates Zephyr for being an insufferable twat and going against what's natural. Gender roles exist for a reason and Anon has seen what happens when they break down, that's why he shifted to fit his new role better. Zephyr's less the subtle flirting with a taken mare, HIS Rainbow, only adds more fuel to the flame.
>When it becomes obvious that Zephyr either can't or won't move out, he refuses to say what the issue is, everyone starts creeping to the boiling point.







>parents get positive on pregnancy test
>excited horse noises
>a little while into the pregnancy they do some magic ultrasound that gives them a false boy result
>parents overjoyed
>steadily wait while the pregnancy runs its course
>it's a girl
>the parents are a little upset but try to roll with it
>still end up treating the filly like a colt, since a colt is a big deal and the fake out messed with them
>eventually the family breaks apart, leaving just the father and little Starlight Glimmer






>Big Mac was something of a miracle child when he was born
>not because of his parent's age, but rather because it had been years since a young Ponyville had seen the birth a colt
>nobody quite knew why it was happening, though there were theories
>everything from aliens, to some crazy unicorn in the forest, to even chemicals from a nearby factory running in the water and turning the frogs monogamous
>the most prevalent, however, was that a wandering warlock had beseeched one of the residents for shelter one stormy night, only to be turned away and left in the rain
>some say this warlock left a curse on the fledgling town, that it might never know the joy of a young colt's laughter until they had learned their lesson
>whether this was true or not, Ponyville was experiencing a massive gender scue, even for Equestria
>and then came along a pair of monogamous degenerates, smearing the good Apple family name, and somehow THEY manage to have a colt on their first try!
>it just wasn't fair, damnit!
>more than a few ponies grumbled and groaned when they heard about that, and a few even went so far as to legitimately wish harm upon the young couple
>and, since they're ponies, this kept up for several years as a not-so-Big Mac grew up as the only colt his age in a town of fillies
>some say this was both where he picked up his unusually maresculine attitude, and his reserved demeanour, after a choice encounter with a few of these bitter ponies
>eventually, those ponies got their wish, leaving a barely teenaged Mac, a young Applejack, and an infant Applebloom orphaned
>yet "victory" tasted like ash in their mouths, and they eventually left the town over the following days
>coincidentally, the first colt since Mac was born just the next day, and one the day after, and the day after, and so on






>traps are, somehow, a real probem in Equestria
>already-rare stallions swearing off mares to have sex with other stallions may sound like a teenage mare's wet dream (and it more often than not is, according to Luna) but this presents a serious logistical problem to a country as lacking in y-chromosomes as Equestria
>if stallions stop having sex with mares, then where is the next generation gonna be coming from?
>and that's to say nothing of the problems cause by Equestria's genetic diversity, long having balanced on the knife's edge, suddenly diving off to one side
>or, because ponies, the much more important issues of mares across the country being very lonely and sad
>and so her first mission as the Princess of Love, should she choose to accept it, is to eliminate the trap menace from Equestria once and for all, and make sure every herd has a dick to come home to at the end of the day




>Anonymous is many things.
>Devilishly handsome.
>Exceedingly witty.
>And, most importantly to this story, one of the greatest warriors humanity has ever produced.
>A fact he has gone to great length to prove to ponies.
>It was hard to get the little equines to take a male such as him seriously, but after wooping enough pony ass, he got some respect.
>He's even gotten a dojo to pass on what he knows to these little equines.
>Many a single guardian has signed their foals up as an excuse to interact, and attempt to woo the human.
>Many guardians have regretted this decision as their fillies were trained in the human's strange ways to become little monsters.

“ALRIIIIIIGHT MY FRESH-FACED LITTLE BABY CHIMPS!” Anon shouts, whipping around to face the room of foals with a fierce expression. “I! Am! Anon! Y! Mous! The Third! Do you know what that means?”
>He doesn’t wait for an answer before he leans down with narrowed eyes.
“It means I am the Grand Master of the Monkey Style! Do you know why I look like a Monkey? Do you think I was born like this? No!”
>He whips back around to resume pacing back and forth, this time gesticulating wildly.
“I was not born with this handsome exterior! I was gifted it! By the Monkey Goddess herself! It was my prize for mastering the Monkey Style to an extent not even my predecessors had! Do you know what THAT means?!”
>A filly blinks slowly.
>Nopony else seems to be willing to answer, so she bravely volunteers by holding a hoof up.
>“It means you’re really good at martial arts?” >Her response earns her a rapping from a staff she is certain wasn’t in Anon’s hands a second ago and certainly isn’t anymore.
>Anon glares so fiercely, it’s a wonder that the filly's head doesn’t explode into gore.
“No! It means everything I just said was complete bananas! I was just MONKEYIN’ AROUND!”
>His demeanor does a complete 180, and he tilts his head back to let out whooping laugh. “Geddit? Monkeyin’ Around? Cuz I'm a primate! And I’m the Monkey King! TRIPLE PUN! MAHAHAHAHAHA!”
>He laughs for a good full minute before snapping back to seriousness fast enough to give himself whiplash.
“But enough monkeyin’ around, it’s time to learn how to monkey around!”
>He points at his new students.
“You come to me as tiny horses, but you will leave here as full fledged monkeys! You will become agile! Swift! Cunning! If you want to learn how to fight like a horses, then you have come to the wrong place! Seriously, That Saddle Arabian dojo is on the other side of town. But here, you will master combat as it was meant to be mastered - in all four dimensions!”
>Somepony raises a hoof.
>“What’s the fourth dimension?” they ask, and are immediately struck with the staff again for the crime of not learning from their fellow student's mistake.
>Almost as soon as the staff is out, its gone again.
“What is the fourth dimension, you ask? What are they teaching you kids these days? The fourth dimension is Time of course!”
>He motions for one of the senior students, and they obediently carry over a human-shaped training dummy.
“To master the Monkey Style is to master the art of timing, in both combat and comedy! If you cannot deliver a knockout joke, how can you hope to deliver a knockout punch?”
>He stands a good five feet away from the dummy, seemingly completely serious.
>Then he suddenly starts making silly faces and hopping from foot to foot in front of it.
“You must disarm your enemy not only of their physical weapons, but of their mental ones! And when they let down their guard…”
>What follows next is too fast for any of the foals' eyes to catch, but for the briefest moment, it appears as though Anon Y. Mous (the Third) disappears, and when he's visible again, it is with a sonorous boom akin to thunder and he is standing in a wide stance with a palm outstretched.
“MONKEY’S PAAAWWW!” He bellows, loud enough to rival the sonic boom of his movement. Where once stood the dummy, there is now only a splintered lower half.
>The students’ awe was palpable.
“Of course, you don’t have to shout out your techniques like that. I just like to. Makes me feel like I’m in a shonen anime! MAHAHAHAAHAH!”
>After a moment, he stands up straight, and the serious demeanor returns.
“Now. The basis of all learning is imitation. That means Monkey See, Monkey Do! First, you will Monkey See what I Monkey Do! And then, you will Monkey Do whilst I Monkey See! Got it? If you got it, why are you still sittin’?! Stand up!”

Maybe Rainbow Dash getting challenged to a fight by Anon, and, after laughing him off and deciding to humor him, she gets her butt beat.
Afterwards, she's so desperate to figure out how he did it, he joins his dojo, along with Pinkie Pie, who thinks it looks fun.
While Dash continuously fails, Pinkie keeps succeeding with flying colors, and Dash's mood starts to sour.
Perhaps a bit of envy both towards Pinkie's progress, and how much she and Anon seem to be enjoying each other's company.

The fact that this "Ron Anon" seems so much more... crazy than even the show, and the fact that he's not trying to get back to his partner and lover suggests some sad stuff.
Perhaps he's making a Dojo and settling down because his "Kim" finally died on one of adventures.

Could be that, even though Pinkie is one of his new best friends, Rainbow Dash's confidence and physical prowess reminds him too much of his version of Kim, and so he acts differently towards her.
Maybe when he hears the Map has called her away on a mission, he gets really nervous, and forces himself along to make sure she's safe.
Story could be said mission getting out of hand and him, Pinkie, and Dash, fighting to save the day and not die.
Provides a nice romance arc, and other opportunities, like:
>Pinkie realizing her friends' feelings for each other and subtly (for her) trying to get them together.
>Dash thinking Anon is coming for Pinkie's sake and not hers, and getting more envious.
>Anon berating a reckless Dash for nearly getting herself killed with a stunt, and her interpreting it has him thinking she's weak.
>Anon revealing his sad past and admitting that Dash reminds him of his dead wife.
>Dash not knowing what to say to that.
>They save the day and fall in love at the same time


>fight between dash and Non Stoppable
>Pinkie looking on nervously
>reaching a crescendo
>"You always bucking do this Non! You hold back teaching me, you say these things to try holding back my awesomeness, and now you're trying to coddle me when I'm in my own element that the map chose ME (and Pinkie) to do. What the fuck is wrong with you?!"
"BECAUSE YOU AREN'T READY KIM! YOU DON'T KNO-"
>Non freezes while Dash's look of anger shows signs of confusion
>neither of them are willing to move first
>Ponk nervously approaches
"Nonny, who's Kim?"
>Non turns away bringing up his famous poker face
>he desperately hopes neither of them can see the raindrop rolling down his cheek
>they can








>XenoCadance and RGRECadance make a promise to find someway for Lero's herd to have foals of their own.
>They'd be ashamed to call themselves the Princess of Love otherwise.
>If their own powers are too wild and unpredictable to study for hints, then perhaps they need to search for something else?
>Their studies take them to the Mirror Pool.
>Nopony knows where it came from, not even Celestia, but it's power is no joke.
>They take samples of the water, and with help from both Twilights, study the crap out of it.
>Eventually, they figure out how to alter the Mirror Pool to suit their needs
>By infusing it with love magic, the Cadances change how it functions.
>Instead of merely cloning whoever looks into it and says the magic words, the pool now requires a loving couple to do it. 
>Instead of a clone, the pool produces a child of the couple as they imagine their child to be while looking into it.
>It's by no means natural, but the resulting foal is just as much their flesh and blood as they would be if conceived through sexual reproduction.
>Lero and his herd give it a try. Once for each mare who wanted a foal of their own.
>They all break down crying tears of joy when they pull out two crying foals, one who has Lero's eyes and another that has his hair color.
>The Mirror Pool is renamed the Birthing Pool.
>Everyone is happy






>Hearth Warming comes around
>Anon starts acting more bitter than the ponies have seen before
>He secludes himself away in his home
>When he does come out ponies are barely able to say hello
>When they're able to say more than that he barely speaks to them
>All the merriment of the Christmas knock off put him in a particularly sour mood
>Brought up memories and feelings he thought that he had made peace with
>When he's sitting in his home ignoring the world outside he watches the fire slowly die and feels the cold creep in again
>Decides to head to bed and hope that he can sleep until Winter Wrap Up
>Before he makes it out of the room he hears a heavy thud and a lot of coughing
>Assuming it's Pinkie Pie he prepares for the whatever trickery she has up her non-existent sleeves
>Instead he's met with a mare with snow white coat and mane in an adorable red suit and hat
>She looks around his home confused until her eyes lock on his
>"Hey there, Anonymous right? I think your Hearth's Warming List got lost in the mail, because I didn't know what you wanted I had my girls back home make some random stuff for you. Also, welcome to Equestria, good job on being so nice while you were here."
>A pink pony that can defy physics
>A chaotic elder god thing that can do the same
>Princesses that control the sun, moon and stars
>Monsters that attack every other tuesday
>You honestly didn't think this place could surprise you anymore
>You were wrong






>Anon in RGRE
>Is kissless virgin and despite being over 20, is boyish and cute as a button almost to the point of mares being afraid of being accused of 'grooming'
>Cue mares both afraid of being arrested for wanting to fuck him but desperately trying to hold off on being creepy
>Cougars know what he is and zone in on that shit





>"And they weren't tatoos so much as they were brands burnt into the stallion's hide. If you got my cutie mark permanently e-etched..."
>Twilight makes a face that's somewhere between outrage and nausea, and she gives her head a little shake.
>"...into your flesh, that would be like me declaring to the world that I owned you like a slaver owns slaves."
>Wow.
>That's actually some pretty heavy shit right there.
>And this was just 80 years ago?
>What the fuck.
>Before you can formulate a response, Twilight jerks forward and mashes her face against yours.
>She isn't kissing you; she's rubbing her cheeks against yours aggressively, like a cat who saw her human for the first time in weeks.
>"A-And you're not my slave! You're my husbando, and you're wonderful, and you're my best friend, and I love you, and-!"
>This goes on until you silence Twilight with a kiss, one that she eagerly returns.
>You get the feeling that she's going to make DAMN sure she rolls in your clean clothes before you leave the house tomorrow morning so that you have her stank all over you all day long.






>Anon forgets to take a shower one morning before he does a bit of shopping
>His already strong (by pony standards) natural scent is now even stronger
>Some mares are barely holding it together
>"He wants it! Bonnie, let me go, that slut is literally asking for it!"







> Ponies are cat-sized, but with none of the latter's jumping prowess
> Anon builds a mansion of immense dimensions (two story suburban home), with furniture to match
> Mares visit from time to time, but the difference in scale wears on them
> Anon has to put a pile of books on a chair for them to be level with the table
> The staircase seemingly goes on for ever, requiring serious physical fitness to climb
> Mares who aren't visiting for a workout end up embarrassed, asking to be carried to their seat at the table, or lifted high so that they can pick a movie from Anon's collection
> At nights, mares curl up on and around Anon's soothingly immense warmth






>Anon is a therapist
>Lots of mares who were raised by single fathers have similar stories
>Anon begins to cuddle the mares, most of whom lack male contact, because ponies are a very tactile race and it seems to cheer them up
>The action speaks much louder than his words, and it really drives home that someone out there legitimately cares for them
>Cue mares becoming emotionally dependant on Anon






> After hearing your tragic past, waifu begins to open up about her sorrows
> How every rock pet she had died at some point
> The one time somepony waved at her, and she waved back, but the other pony was actually waving at the pony behind waifu
> She confesses to owning a sunhat
> You absolutely can't tell her how adorable she is when she's recounting her past
> All you can do is hold each other and whisper comforting words




>tfw you've had six children with your apelien husband
>tfw they're all colts
>tfw there's another on the way but the doctor's are pretty sure it's another colt
>tfw your mom keeps poking fun at you and how hard it's gonna be to beat all the mares off with a stick
>tfw alicorn hormones pretty much prevent you from herding with anypony, so that might actually be a very real problem
>tfw you've been thinking really hard about putting spells on your sweet little stallions that will make their cocks turn spikey if they slip inside a mare
>tfw you know that's a horrible, horrible idea but a part of you still want to do it
>tfw you've eaten your bodyweight in hamburger and barbecue this week because of your cravings
>tfw your teats and back are sore
>tfw you just want a bucking filly
>tfw you're gonna keep popping them out until it kills you or you get one
>Or three





> Anon appears on a Tauress's farm
> She recognizes that he is a pure-strain minoan, as described in the sacred texts
> She persuades him to go with her to the temple in the city
> There he is inducted into the priesthood of Fertility, as is his birthright 
> The tauress who found him gets the privilege of participating in his initiation
> Anon is completely on board with undertaking the solemn duty of trying to knock up the faithful tauresses
> However, things are not as nice as he thought
> The other priests are prideful, keeping careful count of how many children they have fathered
> As a new priest, Anon is naturally at the bottom of that totem pole
> Then there are the teachings of the sacred texts themselves
> There's nothing wrong with liking big titties, but it goes too far when denying the blessings of the priesthood to the flat-chested
> As a pure-strain minoan, Anon has a certain amount of sway in the religious community, especially with the laywomen
> His indiscriminate bestow of his natural blessings causes rejoicing among the poor and flat, and consternation among the rich, influential, and big tittied.






>Minotaur lands a group of city states, much like Greece. 
>They hold votes, of which every citizen is allowed to vote, on all matters of law,nation, and foreign affairs .
>It is the only country that allows males to have say in politics.
>Not to say that Heifers and Tuars are equal in any measure, but with democracy being such a large cultural influence comes such ideas.
>This leads to noticeable clashes when delegates of the citizen run territories are sent to Equestria, an absolute monarchy with only the barest of amounts of legal pull for it's mares and none for it's stallions






>One ambitious dragoness hears that an alien of all things was said to be wandering near Equestria. It's a male no less.
>She decides there that otherworldly male soundly trumps anything she could consider a crown jewel. 
>After a search, she finds her target, only to be shocked at what she finds.
>Cautiously staring back at her is a HUMAN. A real, actual human.
>In ancient (even to dragons) dragonic lore, there were countless tales of the greatest companions to the dragons, humans.
>Fire, tooth, and claw battled steel, strategy, and ingenuity for countless years until both sides had whittled themselves to almost nothing. 
>Now aware of how vulnerable they were from their diminished numbers, dragon and human reluctantly put aside the past to band together.
>And what a terrifying team they made.
>Success after success saw the unlikely covenant flurish all the way to their place at the top of the world. Uneasy teamwork became camaraderie, camaraderie became genuine friendship, and friendship became a species-wide romance.
>Soon dragon and man were one banner, now and forever. 
>Some even underwent a Bind, tying their souls together to be companions, and for some, lovers at the deepest level possible.
>But then... Something happened.
>It's lost to time and memory what tragedy befell the humans, but they vanished and left dragons as a whole wounded and heartbroken. The parties who came to try and claim with wealth collected by the covenant met a terrible fate at the claws of the mourning dragons, who hoarded it all to themselves. Their magic empowered them to protect what remained of their lost companions, sparking the obsession with treasure modern dragons have.
>The ones most effected where the suddenly alone Bind mates. Suddenly having half of their being ripped away made many die where they stood from the sheer shock. Others who survived laid down and slowly died of grief. Some refused to go on and took their one lives. The rare few who lived were given the honored title of Those Who Endure All, their family lines considered noble now.
>Few today remember the time of the Great Romance, but all know of humans and their exalted place among dragons.
>The ambitious dragoness realizes this goes well beyond some simple treasure, she's looking at a living miracle.
>A miracle she has first pickings for.
>"Hey Anon! I found you! It's not...safe..."
>A pony, an purple alicorn lands nearby, taking in the dragoness with worry.
>She called the human, Anon by name.
>...He met the backwards equines first. Perfect...


>Anon was a monster hunter before Equestria. His idea of a good time is staying in hostile woods for days at a time, eating enough for a family of 4 in one sitting, lifting super human amounts of weight, and killing things anywhere from 2 to 100 times his size to either eat them or make neat things from the corpse.
>Thus, once he realized he was going to be smothered in Equestria due to the gender roles, he tried as politely as possible to take off, making a beeline for the Everfree.
>There, he met a dragon who strangely didn't want to kill him. Usually dragons want him dead.
>Ignoring Twilight's protests, he asks the dragon if she likes hunting of the big and mean variety, making her eyes light up.
>You know, having a dragon on his side for once seems nice. Maybe he'll see what this 'Great Romance' stuff is all about

>dragoness trying desperately not to drop her jewel encrusted spagetti over the fact the living legend is proposing a great hunt with her.
>inner voice meanwhile is screaming at her to fug him.
>LOOK AT WHAT HE'S WEARING, LOOK AT HIS WEAPONS, THAT TOOTH IS BIGGER THAN YOUR ARM GIRL AND HE'S CARRYING IT LIKE IT'S NOTHING







>Anon did not have the best of childhoods.
>His family was poor growing up, and he and his sister got very little in the way of toys and the like as a result.
>It's why he put so much focus on getting a good job when he got out of high school.
>He did just that while his big sister got married and started a family.
>By the time he was in his mid-twenties, he had a pair of beautiful nieces, and a new purpose in life.
>He would make sure those girls were taken care of and had everything they'd ever want, just like he and his sis didn't have.
>Said sister wasn't keen on her brother spoiling her girls, but her husband didn't make great money, so she didn't fight too hard on the matter if it meant her kids and Anon were happy.
>It's this reason why the back of Anon's car is full of all manner of girly toys and cute plush animals when his car is suddenly struck by lighting and he's teleported to Equestria.
>The ponies of Ponyville were startled awake by a loud crash that morning, and went outside to find that a strange carriage had collided with the statue fountain in the middle of town.
>Stranger still was the creature with a grievous head injury inside.

>"So, what can you tell us, Nurse?" Twilight asks when Nurse Red Heart steps out of the room after examining the new, alien patient.
>"Well, it's male," she says. "And he hit his head quite hard in that crash. He has a fractured skull."
>"The poor dear," Rarity, says, and it's clear the rest of her friends agree.
>"A stallion, huh?" Dash pipes up, holding an odd plastic doll with a long blonde mane sporty tracksuit. "Guess that explains all those colt toys in the back of his carriage."
>"I wonder if he's a toy maker?" Pinkie comments, playing with a stuffed bear and giraffe from the wreckage. "Ooh, maybe this tag here is his store name! What's it say, Twilight?"
>Twilight peaks at the little white silken slip with small black print, and sighs.
>"I don't know. I've never read that script before."
"Well, I certainly don't doubt he's a business stallion," Rarity says with a sigh of admiration. "You saw how sharply he was dressed, right? That suit had to have had at least two pieces. I bet he was on the way to a very important business meeting to get a retailer to pick up his products."
>She picks up a hot pink model carriage not unlike the one he arrived in, albeit a brighter color and not destroyed.
>"These are no doubt show pieces meant to demonstrate the quality and craftsmareship of his toys."
>"I reckon I can respect that," Applejack comments. "If'n he did make these, I don't think I've ever seen toys quite like 'em. They're impressive."
>She looks towards the door where the patient is, and sighs with a shake of her head.
>"Still, this sort o' thing is bound ta happen when stallions start goin' out and tryin' ta be businessmares. A stallion should be kept safe at home, not gallivantin' around in a strange carriage."
>"That's not fair," Fluttershy pipes up with a frown. "Stallion's have every right to be able to run there own businesses."
>"Indeed," Rarity agrees with a nod. "It's quite admirable, in fact."
>"So you're gonna tell me this poor stallion ain't currently in the hospital with a busted noggin' because he was tryin' ta do a mares' job."
>"Well, we can't be certain," Rarity counters weakly.
>"Girls," Twilight interrupts. "As of right now, we can't be certain of anything. For all we know, this colt is a prince of a foreign land and these were gifts brought to show goodwill."
>Though it's only meant as an example, the ears of the other mares perk up and the suggestion causes their imaginations to go even wilder.
>Unaware of this, Twilight continues. "For now, the best we can do is study the wreckage, and gleam what information we can until he wakes up."
>To the Nurse, she adds, "Speaking of, can you inform us as soon as that happens, Nurse? I really would like to get to the bottom of this as soon as possible."
>"Of course," Red Heart responds with a kind smile. "I'll admit, I'm intrigued too. Mystery aside he's, quite fascinating. For instance, despite clearly being male, he has, of all things, nipples."
>"No way..." Dash says, slowly smiling. "That's hilarious!"
>"Rainbow Dash!" Flutteshy chides. "That's very insensitive! What if it's a birth defect?"
>"Hmm, welp, these little guys don't have 'em," Pinkie points out, holding up the shirts of one of the dolls. "And their chests have way more muscle, too."
>"Hmm, his pectorals were significantly smaller than what's represented here," Twilight mumbles to herself.
>With that, the six mares leave the hospital, minds whirling around the topic of Ponyville's strange visitors.
>Now, if it had only been these six, it wouldn't have mattered.
>Of course, a lot of ponies saw Anon that morning, and the girls didn't much think of the consequences of talking about what they knew and their theories.
>This is why, while Anon is comatose in bed, rumors and speculations spread and twist around him.
>Before he is even awake, he will have the reputation of the toy making alien with a successful business model, potentially backed by his royal name, a birth defect, a heart of gold, and most importantly, and only true thing, a penis.
>Some ponies are even sure his car is a spaceship, and there is an attempt by foreign powers to steal and reverse the engineer the craft,
>When they're foiled, they might even choose to go after the source, and learn right from the extra-terrestrials mouth.
>Not like it'd be hard to get a stallion to spill his guts


>"Hello, Mr. Toy Maker," Fluttershy says as she noses open the door to your room. "Sorry I didn't visit yesterday, but we had some gryphons try stealing your carriage and they made quite the ruckus."
>You, understandably, don't give a a response.
>Flutershy isn't off put as she trots in, closing the door gently behind her before sitting down next to your bed.
>"Twilight sure was angry about that- her mane was on fire and everything. Luckily, no pony, or gryphon was hurt."
>With a small frown, she leans up and smooths the covers over your chest.
>"Still, I wonder what they wanted? Don't get me wrong, it's a nice carriage, but it's all busted up... Oh! I almost forget!"
>Reaching for her saddlebags, she rummages for a second before finding what she's looking for.
>"We found this with a bunch of other papers in a little compartment of the carriage. It popped open during the commotion."
>She sets a photograph of you standing with your sister, brother in law, and nieces on your chest, the one you kept in the glove box.
>"Um, is it your family? I recognize you there. You look very happy."
"..." you answer.
>She smiles sadly, and picks the photo back up, eyes focused on your smiling face.
>"You have a beautiful smile," she comments. "So warm and open... Are those little ones yours, I wonder? Are one of those two other adults your mate?"
"..."
>"I'm sure they miss you dearly... I wish there was more for me to do to help."
>she lets the room fall quite as she gently places a hoof on your hand and rubs gently for a few minutes.
>Then, she stands.
>"I'm sorry, but I have to go now. I have my animal friends to feed dinner," she explains, taking the photo and placing on your nightstand for when you wake up.
>She's sure it will be welcome sight when you do.
>She looks at your peaceful face, shuffling her hooves for a moment, before leaning up and placing a gentle kiss on your forehead.
>"Sleep tight, Mister Toy Maker. I hope you wake up soon."






>Applejack likes Anon because he's honest, hard-working and good with Applebloom and good in the kitchen
>Strawberry Sunrise likes Anon because he can be sarcastic and can trade wits with her the same way one of her friends can
>They both trip over each other as they try to ask Anon out while at the same time trying to prevent the other from doing so
>They don't know how to react when they learn he likes both Apples and Strawberries







>Storm Blitz wakes up and steps out of bed, wincing slightly as the taught scar tissue across her back pulls.
>With a sigh, she slowly walks to the bathroom, eyes staying from the mirror for as long as possible as she goes about her business.
>Eventually, though, she has to look, and as always, she hides the desire to flinch behind a stoic mask.
>Patches of skin, like melted plastic, mars the features on the left side of her face.
>Her left eyelid drooping slightly where the scar tissue pulled down, the lower lid wet and on the verge of weeping.
>The burn scars travel down her neck, across her whithers and back, to wrap part way around her ribs.
>Lakes of pallor skin embedded within her dark green coat.
>She tears her equally green eyes away from the mess of flesh and reminds herself.
>At least it didn't reach your wing.
>At least you can still fly.
>It might be painful now, as each flap of her tugs at the scars, but she has learned well to ignore it.
> She brushes her teeth, then goes about applying the moisturizing cream to her the patches of bare skin.
>The face is easy, and once she's done, she lets her shaggy black mane fall over her left eye and cheek.
>The neck is next, and then the whithers, which pose some difficulty.
>Now she has to do her back, the hardest part.
>She reaches as far around herself as she can, and squeezes the tube, letting a few globs fall unto the skin.
>From their, she awkwardly uses her wing to try and rub it in.
>It's a lot of painful stretching for very little results, and by the time she's done, she can see she's missed a lot of the scar.
>She always does, and she can see, and feel the places where the skin has become dry and cracked, some even now oozing small amounts of blood.
>She sighs and puts the cream away, wishing once again that she had some pony to help her with that.
>Of course, who would want to lay hooves on her disgusting disfigurement?
>Not many, and certainly no stallions








>Both Twilights are kissless nerds, but for NGR Twilight it’s more out of shyness whereas RGR Twilight just has shitty luck with stallions. The two of them study the differences between worlds.
>The Rainbow Dashes initially get along perfectly until they disagree over something stupid and because they’re both stubborn egotists, neither of them will admit they’re wrong.
>The Applejacks just treat each other as cousins to deal with weirdness of meeting another version of yourself.
>The Pinkies conspire to team up to throw the greatest party in both universes, and everyone is terrified of the outcome.
>The Fluttershys are seriously considering going lesbian for each other, because both of them have had terrible luck with the opposite sex outside of Discord due to the fact that most ponies don’t know how to deal with all the animals in her house like they can. Why not find comfort in the hooves of the only other pony in existence who understands you? Even if it is another version of yourself







>anon ends up hanging with stallions
>not because he has to but they are a great source strong drinks 
>considering pony drinks is like making love on a canoe 
>not from stallions themselves but the mares that try to slip in a little something extra on their drinks
>caramel is the most targeted and almost on instinct, know when his drink has been spiked
>all he does is give it to anon 
>and anon appreciates the extra kick
>most mares look at him in total disbelief while caramel just looks at them smirking
"got any more? im still not drunk yet"





>Megan finds out about the mirror and the magic pony stuff that's been going on once she joins the school.
>Slamming the door to the music room open she shouts, "Where's the pony!"
>"Um, excuse me?" Sunset asks, brow raised.
>"I heard from Apple Bloom that one of her sister's friends is a magic pony," Megan continues, eyes sweeping the room. "Where are they?"
>"You mean Sunset!" Pinkie says jubilee, pulling her bacon-haired friend into a sideways hug and pinching her cheek. "She's just the prettiest pony in school, isn't she?"
>"Stop that!" Sunset snaps, slapping Pinkie's hand away and staring down at the strange girl. "And who's asking, anyway? I haven't seen you around."
>Megan narrows her eyes up at the girl.
>"You're a teenaged girl."
>"Well, sort of, there was some de-aging when I came through the portal for some reason."
>"I thought there was supposed to be a pony here."
>Sunset shrugs.
>"Sorry, but this is what you get. What Apple Bloom said- and she really shouldn't have- is true. I'm a pony, I just look human."
>Megan's expression doesn't change as she extends a hand, and points at the floor.
>"Down."
>"Um, excuse me?"
>"Get down, I need to check your story to see if you're lying, and you're too tall."
>Sunset looks back at her friends, who are all wearing varying expressions of amusement.
>"Just do what the brat says so we can get back to practice," Dash says.
>With a sigh, Sunset gets down on one knee.
>"Okay, so what's this te-eh-eh-oooh~"
>Without warning, Megan reaches forward and starts scratching a very specific spot behind Sunset's ear, making the older girl shiver and her eyes to roll up into her head.
>"I developed this scritching technique over three years of taking care of my little ponies, and no real pony can resist it," Megan explains, clearly intrigued. "Could you really be..?"
>Sunset tries to regain some dignity, reaching up with a shaky hand
>"H-hey, y-you have to stop that. This is totally inappro-OH MY CELESTIA! DON"T STOP!"

>After Megan had mercifully, and cruelly, stopped the ear scritches, Sunset slowly regained her composure and excused herself to the bathrooms while her friends stared on, slack-jawed.
>"Holy shit," Rainbow comments. "Like... Holy shit."
>"That there was disturbin'," Applejack agrees, tilting her hat down over her face.
>"Should someone go check on her?" Fluttershy asks tentatively, looking towards the door Sunset left through.
>"I'll go," Twilight volunteers, hurrying towards the exit and making sure to give Megan a wide berth as she does.
>"Wowwy, and I thought I had magic fingers," Pinkie says, making a stroking motion with her hand. "Boys are gonna love you when you're older, girl."
>"Pinkie! She's a child!" Rarity chastises, sending fleeting glances towards the young girl who looks deep in thought as she stares towards where Sunset left.
>"Hmm... So she really is a pony," she says to herself. "And all this time... I thought the rainbow road was the only way to Dream Valley."

>Meanwhile, in the bathrooms, Sunset is sitting in a stall, mortified with her head in her hands.
>"I can't believe that just happened," she says for the umpteenth time. "I'm never going to be able to look the girls in the eyes again."
>The sound of the bathroom door opening reaches her ears, and she hears Twilight call, "Sunset?"
>"Go away, Twi," she grumbles. "Just let me wallow in shame."
>"Sunset, it's not a big deal-"
>"Not a big deal? I was moaning like a mare in heat!" she snaps, face beet-red. "You probably all think I'm a filly-fiddler now!"
>"Filly what-now?"
>"A pedo."
>"No! Of course not!" Twilight assures, stepping closer to the stalls. "Whatever that girl did, you couldn't help yourself. Maybe she has, I don't know, some weird magic or something. She was talking like she knew about Equestria."
>"What, you think she's from the other side?"
>"Could be," Twilight admits. "We won't know for sure unless we talk to her."
>"I don't even want to look at her right now."









>Women going topless in RGREqG is not actually the equivalent of a man going topless IRL
>That's just a lie Sunset told her roommate Anon when he walked in on her masturbating with a pair of his underwear, nude from the waist up
>Now Sunset has to convince her friends to shed their tops when they visit a few days later for a sleep over to help maintain the lie
>Anon is okay with this

>Sunset somehow manages to get them to agree, likely with promises of Anon's lewdness
>but when the night arrives and Sunset urges them to take off their shirts, things get real akward real fast
>boobs are RGREqg balls
>so while it's not like they're bashing beans together or anything, nobody wants to look too long and get called a dyke
>one of them, either Rarity or AJ, were just about to say "fuck this" and put their shirt back on when Anon walks in
>and, naturally, he doesn't notice a damn thing

>Anon is surrounded by tits in every direction
>Big ones, small ones, ones with suckable nipples, and some he'd like to bury his face in
>He's sweating from the effort of trying to contain his erection
>He's doing just fine until he's forced into a situation where he has to stand up; maybe he has to grab something from his bedroom and the girls (being gentlewomen) refuse to enter a man's private room lest they see something l-lewd
>The girls see Anon's boner straining the fabric of his pants
>Rarity nearly flinches when she swears she sees the stitching start to come undone
>Suddenly going topless doesn't seem so gay anymore
>Now it seems like the start of what promises to be several hours of sex








>Anon’s waifu, the princess/queen of a small pony nation, unexpectedly becomes an alicorn.
>This is completely unprecedented, because as far back as anyone remembers Equestria has always had an absolutely monopoly on equine demigods despite all previous attempts to make their own alicorns.
>Political ripples ensue.
>Anon’s waifu angsts about outliving her husband and any foals they might have had already.
>Her advisors pressure her to have as many foals as possible, because now that Flurry Heart exists the world knows that alicorns can be born rather than randomly made via ascension, and more alicorns will only strengthen their nation as a whole.
>Celestia has a mix of wanting to congratulate the newest member of the immortality club and slight apprehension.
>Equestria has been on top of the world due to their monopoly of force, which Celestia thankfully has never had to seriously use.
>But the lesser pony nations are known to frequently war amongst each other over territory and resources, and an alicorn with that mindset might decide to take a shot at Equestria.
>Something none of the other nations have had the guts to do






>Rarity is a clingy drunk.
>Anon just rolls with it, waving off concerned mares who think he's being taken advantage of.
>She's completely scandalized when she sobers up and remembers how she acted.
>Anon found it cute how the normally hands-off mare kept hugging him all night.
>Rarity turns up at his door the next morning groveling with an apology and begging him not to turn her in for rape





>Anon is an explorer from space.
>He owns his own scout ship, and he gets quite insistent about referring to himself as "Captain"
>FTL isn't insanely expensive anymore (hence why he could afford his own vessel), but it's not the safest thing, especially when venturing into the Unknown.
>For most of his life, he only ever did short-term missions. Never all that far from the edges of human space. PLaces where if something went wrong, you actually had a decent chance of being rescued.
>Until one day he had a strange experience.
>He looked up at the stars, and one in particular called to him.
>It was far. Very far.
>Farther by an order of magnitude than any human had ever strayed from Earth.
>If something happened out there, no one would be coming to rescue him any time soon.
>But something in him demanded that he go.
>If he made it, and lived to tell the tale, he'd be famous.
>OK, he might already be a little bit famous, but he'd rather it not be as "that crazy guy who flew off into deep space on a whim and was never heard from again."
>If he charted a safe path, He'd stand to make a nice chunk of change. If he found anything valuable (habitable planets, rare resources, etc.), he'd be filty rich.
>Something tells him that if he goes, he'll find what he desires most.
>So he spends preps for a long journey, and off he goes.

>It took several years to get where he was going.
>Those few stops along the way at various systems to fill out his starchart added up.
>He found some good stuff there, several terraformable planets, resource rich asteroid fields, signs of a potential wormhole terminus (though he was not even close to equipped to do anything about it).
>On any regular run, any one of those systems would have had him heading back home to collect his payday.
>But he wasn't done yet. The prize still lay onward. And he wanted to get there this decade, not when he was old and grey.
>And what a prize it was.
>A planet right in the goldilocks zone.
>Preliminary scans indicate a thriving ecosytem, breathable atmosphere, possibly even signs of an alien civilization.
>Jackpot! He knew he had a good feeling about this one.
>He lands in Eqeustria.
>Perhaps crash lands is a more approriate description.
>Something about the planet interfered with his ships instruments, and did something fucky to the AGrav system.
>Gonna be a while until he's back in the air. But at least his supplies and equipment seem to have mostly made planetfall intact.
>And it seems he lucked out and won't have to spend the next who knows how long living off of nutrient blocks, becuase a lot of the local plantlife is edible.

>Then he sees the first intelligent alien species the planet had to offer.
>It was a smol horse.
>It broke every first contact protocol he'd ever heard of, but he couldn't help himself.
>Becuase he started laughing uncontrollably.
>The star system he'd been aiming for was in the Horsehead Nebula.







>There's a natural chain born of gender roles where the biggest and strongest mares often get the stallions while the smaller and weaker mares are left alone
>It's because back in the olden days, when stallions were naught but property, mares could challenge one another to a one on one duel to win one's stallion
>Now stallions get to choose who they'll be with, but the tradition still stands
>Often times mares will still challenge one another for a stallion's hoof and the stallion almost, if not always, chooses to go with the victor
>Thus when one of the smallest and weakest mares, who manged to snag Anon, looses a fight for Anon's hand she's fully prepared to loose him
>Except instead he chooses to stay with her instead
>She really has no idea what she did to deserve such a loyal coltfriend







>ponies make portal to erf
>a bunch of them start emigrating to erf in the pursuit of happiness and HMD
>everyone's okay with it because they're cute poners 
>they start taking all the marely jobs and accept lower wages than their human counterparts
>ponies are okay with lower wages because they only have HMD on their minds
>ponies kinda feel bad about taking their jobs, but still think they should find strong mares to take care of them
>humans still can't be angry at cute poners
>ponies start settling down with the laid off men
>the men accept their place as househusbands because they get the horse pussy every night 
all according to nieghkaku







>A "Bachelorette Herd" is a polite way to refer to an all-mare herd that is allegedly waiting for a stallion to show up
>The mane 6 belong to such a herd together because of how difficult it is to find a stallion who likes all of them and whose personalities don't clash severely with at least one of the mares
>If they aren't offended by Rainbow's cuntishness, they're unhappy with Applejack's old-fashioned attitude
>If they don't get irritated by how passive Fluttershy is, they're driven up the wall by Pinkie's non-stop energy
>The mares are very close friends and refuse to exclude anypony if it means putting together a proper x-mares-plus-1-stallion herd
>Enter Anon
>Half of the mares piss him off at times, but papa didn't raise a quitter and he won't let a little ass-slapping or few sexist remarks chase him off
>Not now that he has six loving mares to love and six of the most amazing pussies to fuck








>Rainbow is Scootaloo's guardian
>first it was just them hanging out together, but then they decided to make it official
>not sure she could handle being called "mom just yet though, but that's okay because they then made an agreement that, should Dash land a stallion, there'd always be a spot for her little sis
>time passes, and eventually Rainbow meets Anon, and they get into a relationship
>at first she was planning on enjoying her time alone with her stallion while it lasted along with "laying the groundwork," as it were, but things get complicated quick
>Anon confides that he honestly isn't sure if he can be a good partner to multiple mares, and doesn't want to risk what he has with Rainbow by "getting greedy"
>says that, so long as he has her, he'll have all he needs, or something sappy like that
>important thing is, it was sappy enough for her to promise not to push him for a herd if he wasn't ready for one yet
>on one hand, she's deeply touched by the loyalty Anon is showing her, even if he doesn't quite know it
>but on the other, she can't forget the promise she made to her little not-sister, nor can she just simply shoot down her other friends when they express interest in joining her and Anon
>and no matter what statistics from towns bordering Yakyakistan say, seven mares and one stallion is a lot any way you slice it
>with her loyalty being pulled in three different directions, Rainbow Dash just doesn't know what to do







>If some think that pony society is unfair, then they haven't seen diamond dog society.
>D Dogs abilities as individuals are reflected by their breeds alongside of the RGR.
>Labradors are flexible without set roles.
>Great Danes are mostly politicians and leaders.
>Border Collies are nearly all scholars, mathemations, and philosophers with 120+ IQs.
>German Shepards, Rottweilers, and Doberman Pinschers make up over 98% of the police and military force.
>Huskies make a bulk of the athletic scene.
>Poodles and other breeds made for aesthetics make up the art and fashion.
>Pitbulls are often criminals and thugs, staining the reputation of their few law abiding members.
>Pugs are almost exclusively unskilled labor like many smaller and dimmer breeds.
>And at the very top of their society is the mythical human, masters of old, of which no living examples exist.
>Many breeds, many roles in society to fill. Good luck clawing your way out of your breed's niche

Deep in the heart of the temple of the good boy is a reliquary of holy artifacts. The spray bottle of discipline, the whistle of attention, and the most holy. The bag of treats. 
The holy keepers of the of the temple have gained word that someone resembling the master walks the world once more.






>Chrysalis' mother was a Grade A Cunt.
>Chrysalis was only a teenager when she found herself as the Queen of the Hive.
>She'd been given plenty of lessons in how to be a cunt, but not many in how to balance it out with a pragmatic villainy streak to avoid being betrayed and assassinated, or otherwise falling victim to violating the Evil Overlady List.
>Combine this with an overload of hormones and emotional swings as she's in the middle of bug puberty, a bloated sense of entitlement, and the teenage belief that she was right and everyone else was wrong.
>Add a touch of starvation for seasoning, to get the villainous bugbutt we all know.
>Changeling Queen's aren't immortal, but they *are* long lived, as long as they don't fuck it up royally like her mother did.
>Which sucks for her, because she's gonna be stuck in that awkward gangly emotional phase for the next decade or two.

>Ponies don't know how to deal with the reveal that the dreaded Changeling Queen, who has come withing spitting distance of victory on several occasions, is actually a teenager.
>It certainly explains some of the bizarre decisions she's made
>But they thought she was at least middle aged, with the age, experience, and the resistance to change that implied.
>Further shocker when it turns out that contrary to their belief, none of the other changelings are actually her children

>"She really needs to get laid, I bet that would mellow her out."
>"Wait wait wait, you mean to tell me that she's a turbo virgin who puts all her effort into taking over the world instead of taking the time to catch the eye of at least one colt? A shapeshifter should be able to get a colt no problem. And she's a Queen! Aren't royals supposed to be drowning in dick?"
>Twilight scrunches in the background






>"You're saving yourself for marriage? How romantic!"
>Twilight shook her head slowly.
"Not really."
>Pinkie's expression drooped drastically.
>"Oh, Twi... We need to get you some dick, huh? I know a couple guys that aren't that picky."
>Mortified, Twilight could only nod her head and be lead away by a determined Pinkie.
>She'd take whatever help she could get at this point.
>Pinkie was probably a pretty good wing-mare, right?
>She never seemed to have any trouble with the stallions.
>Her bedroom practically had a revolving door on it.



>Twilight actually is waiting.
>Not necessarily because she wants to.
>Celestia advised her that it was a good idea.
>Naming a new Princess, even when the Princess in question saved the world on multiple occasions, is a politically delicate issue.
>Celestia could of course force the issue if it came to it, but it would make everything go much smoother if Twilight avoided any blatant scandals in her first few years/decades as a royal.
>The stallionists are mostly a nuisance these days, but it's better if Twilight avoided even the appearance of 'taking advantage of a defenseless colt'
>Marrying him first seems the best way to ensure things don't get blown out of proportion






>Tough, working mare cat calls passing stallions.
>Tells them she'll rock their world.
>That she'll make them see stars.
>She'll suck the life right out of their dicks.
>Anon is the recipient of this last one, and he takes her up on the offer.
>"W-what?"
"You want to suck my dick, yeah? I'm always up for some good head. Come on."
>This was not part of her plan.
>She is a kiss-less virgin.
>The only dick she's seen is her dad's when she walked into the bathroom one groggy morning without knocking.
>That was both traumatizing, and the source of some of her darkest fetishes now.
>Of course, she doesn't say any of this, and puts on a marely act, following the human stallion to his place.
>He plops down on the bed, and unzips his pants, his thick, veiny member popping out and nearly booping her snoot.
>Could this get any more l-lewd?
"Well, what are you waiting for? It ain't gonna suck itself."
>"R-right."
>She reaches slowly forward, unsure of where to start, before gulping, and swatting out.
>She bops it with her left hoof, and it bobs.
>She bops it with her right hoof, and it happily swings the other way.
>Heh, this isn't so hard.
>She smiles lightly as she bats it back and forth like a playful kitten, content to go on like this until the Anon clears his throat.
"You gonna use your mouth?"
>"O-of course. I was just making sure you were all limbered up."
>Grabbing hold of the member at the base, her eyes dart back and forth between his expectant gaze, and the bulbous head of his dick.
>She opens her mouth wide, pulling back her lips from her teeth, and slowly moves her forward.
>The penis is directly between her molars, and she begins to close her mouth.
"You bite my dick like that, and I'm skull fucking you."
>"Is... is that a good thing?"






> Pinkie loves fun
> Parties, candy, friendship and games.
> To her there was no more wholesome expression of love and community than having a great time with one another.
> Unfortunately, and much to her chagrin, others who shared her view also seemed to lump in loose morals.
> Stallions degrading themselves in the pursuit of short lived pleasures, and the mares that enabled that kind of thing; it made her sick.
> For ever story she heard of 'casual' sex creating friendship and unity, she saw a hundred times it only made drama.
> That ended up as a conundrum for her then.
> She wasn't interested in most of the partying types that could put up with her antics.
> The more modest stallions who were looking for a more traditional relationship wanted nothing to do with her party lifestyle and philosophy







>Twilight is tired of being alone at night, so she buys the latest, most expensive sex toy money could buy.
>The tax payers would be upset if they ever found out, but they'd just have to understand Twilight's happiness directly contributes to how well she can rule as princess.
>Besides, the AnonBot 2000 is more than just a sex doll.
>It cooks!
>It cleans!
>It listens!
>Spike, at least, has come to appreciate having an assistant of his own, when Twilight isn't using it.
>Oh, and did she mention it fucks like an god?
>She was surprised the creators decided to model it after a mythical human, but she has to admit it makes her feel kind of special during sex to think such a rare stallion would want her.
>Plus it's strangely shaped dick scrapes her walls in all the right places.
>Yes, life was perfect for the little princess... until a feeling other than lust began to fill her heart.

>"A-anon?"
"Yes, Master?" you respond threading your fingers through her mane as she lays cuddled up to your side in post-orgasmic bliss.
>She had cumulated four times before you were satisfied your purpose adequately performed.
>She swallows, and looks away.
>"Anon, I think... I think I love you."
>You blink, mechanical eyes shifting down to stare at her for several moments.
>As she begins to squirm, you come to the conclusion that the truth would be best.
"As a machine, I have not been programmed to love in the emotional sense, and thus, I cannot love you in the way that you wish me to."
>"O-oh..."
"That being said," you continue, running a thumb across her cheek to catch the tear that fell. "Though I cannot return your love, I can facilitate you loving me, if that would make you happy."
>She presses deeper against your side.
>"I... I can live with that." she whispers.
>The 'Four now,' left unsaid.
>If you could not love her because of your rigid programming, then she would learn how to program herself.
>She is one of the most intelligent, gifted ponies in Equestria, after all





>Anon has little to no magic in him
>Poners are unnerved by his presence
>Only after a few months he starts getting a substantial amount of magic in him
>Poners start feeling more at ease around him

>unicorns and alicorns in particular start getting really comfortable around him.
>stallions start saying he'd make a great father.
>if he dozes on a public bench he'll wake up to a bunch of horned ponies casually snuggled with him either dozing themselves or quietly talking.
>at least one little filly or colt is always asking him for upsies with varying degrees of embarrassment






>FemAnon falls in love with a jane filly stallion and gets married.
>They have children somehow, either with him already having them, adoption, or him getting her pregnant.
>She stays home and raises them, cooking and cleaning and taking care of the homestead while her horse husband goes out and works.
>Ponies watch on, very confused, and frankly unsettled.
>FemAnon even gets flack for it with ponies calling her a colt.
>Some are worst, straight up accusing her of being a failure and saying that making her husband bring home the bits is borderline abusive.
>She tries her best to ignore them, and be the best wife and mother she can be.







> Twilight, Anon's marefriend, tries to teach him Thu'um: The Deadly Debate
> Unfortunately, she only has hyper-competitive decks of arguments, and most of them are built around esoteric metaphysics
> Anon gets easily discouraged when he either keeps losing for reasons he can't understand, or only wins because Twilight is pretty much playing for him
> Starlight Glimmer visits, bringing her simpler decks with her
> They are built around things like the ownership of brow-sweat, or the proper place for a male
> Moreover, she has a deck for each of the major philosophical schools of thought, allowing Anon to figure out which one appeals to him the most
> Anon plays a few games with her, finding that she's much more laid back and fun to play against, and tells her that
> Starlight is pleased, and slightly amused
> She's read enough neighponese comics about mares trixie-ing their way into a herd and becoming the alpha to draw some parallels to the current situation
> Not that she'd go that far, but she does sort of want into the herd







>Anon was a world class chef when he was sucked into Equestria 
>specializing in artisan techniques that melded art and food and drink preparation for the highest echelons of society
>earning and working hard his whole life he was eager to reap the rewards of his success
>dollars, euros, now bits were his constant motivators
>plus the status that he earned tasted as sweet as his deserts
>Celestia herself must book his services in advance for the Gala or other socials
>he meets and bonds with Rarity at such an event
>rather than flash cash and status like every noblemare hoping for some quick dick or exclusive meals from him she enjoys talking about the art involved in his dishes
>she goes on about how she is just as involved in finding the perfect materials as he is in finding perfect ingredients
>he goes on with the frustrations of ""friends"" mooching off his hard work for free food and money
>she actually counters that she finds joy in being able to share her gifts with her friends and gives him a suit that she made for him
>he smiles, and for the first time in his life makes a drink with care and love
>free, for his first true friend
>and for the first time when preparing his usual straight professional demeanor was replace with the smile he wore when he perfected the preparation process






Anon is a pretty manly man, able to outdo AJ and Dash when it comes to sports, with most ponies seeing him as an the ultimate untamable janefilly (tomboy) type. Even the mareliest of mares get picked up and treated like little fillies by him.

However...

>Jumps back a foot and calls out for Fluttershy when he encounters a harmless spider that's almost as big as his hand.
>The least marely mare in existence coming to his rescue when it comes to huge creepy crawlies time and time again.
>In these rare moments of weakness Fluttershy actually gets to look marely around him, with Anon being relieved and thanking her with ear scratches.
>Sarts thanking her by giving her gifts, usually home made trinkets and home cooked food as he isn't sure what she'd like and doesn't own a lot.
>More and more ponies around town are slack jawed and wide eyed as this timid mare is emaresculating the lot of them in comparison.

>tfw other weak shy mares with seemingly silly or colty skills start saving or helping him in various ways when he needs help with things the tough marely mares know nothing about.
>tfw the huge exotic alien is unknowingly building himself a herd of outcasts when all the other mares have been seeking him relentlessly with no progress







>You are well acquainted with the supernatural world. Infact, you study magic, space/time magic to be exact.
>While no wizened wizard, you consider yourself pretty good.
>That is, until one of your experiments went wrong, casting you off into RGRE.
>All things considered, this is an okay realm to land in. You even landed right into a town with a sympathetic ruler.
>But you can't stay long. You left people behind on Earth. 
>Like your girlfriend, who was desperately lonely before you met.
>Back on Earth, said GF stumbles on the remains of your experiments and instantly figures out what you did.
>Equal parts irritated and terrified for your safety, she quickly goes over your notes and exactly recreates the experiment in a bid to follow you and save you.
>In a flash of light, she's in a new world. 
>Your girlfriend rubs her aching, furry head and stands.
>...Wait, furry?
>She looks down, seeing a large, furry, pawprinted hand looking back.
>All the magic in the air pressing down on her 6th sense must have forced her transformation outside of the usual full moon.
>Your girlfriend, a werewolf, grumbles about being forced into her werewolf form and presses on.
>Finding someone in the already small supernatural community brave enough to date and actually love a werewolf is near impossible, and she's not ever going to to let you go after you told her "I love you."
>But she didn't drop in the same place as you.
>But that won't stop her. She gives it her all to track you down before one of these backwards horses get any ideas and try to make a move on what belongs to her.
>And these diamond dog things need to quit worshipping her and slowing her down. It's damn annoying.

>A massive, wolfy looking diamond dog strolls into town, sniffing the air.
>No one has the teats to confront the beast.
>The resident alien, Anonymous is walking by when he catches sight of the monster and freezes.
>The wolfy diamond dog locks eyes with him.
>Some of the marely mares work up the nerve to save him when he runs at the monster.
>And the diamond dog runs to meet him... In a hug.
>"Oh Anon..." The wolfy d-dog says in a delicate, female voice choking with emotion. "I was so worried..."
>The strange pair kiss, ignoring everything else.
>...Is this the "girlfriend" that Anonymous told everyone about?
>The handful of mares who want him realize how deep of shit they're in







>Pinkies parents didn't want anything to do with weaponry
>Sweets, treats, and snacks were always locked away
>It didn't stop her though
>She loved Equestrian weaponry and would not be denied
>Now some new stallion has shown up with his own weaponry
>He talks about some place called /k/
>Pinkie wonder what kinds of cakes the big metal carriage throws out of that long tube






>tfw these stupid horse creatures don't want you to ride in your warsphinx
>tfw they insist that, "it's too dangerous for a stallion to be riding such a thing."
>tfw they don't care that you're dead
>tfw they also don't care that you're pretty much indestructable
>tfw after you told them about what fire does to you they stopped trying to get you into a kitchen
>tfw that's the ONLY thing good that happened that afternoon
>tfw you miss the desert
>tfw you miss having a ravenous lust for power and the desire to conquer all
>tfw these damned horses keep asking where you "bone" is
>tfw you have no idea why they put emphasis on the word bone
>tfw you're made up entirely of fucking bones
>tfw your feet hurt, and one of these damned horses keeps trying to get you to soak into milk
>tfw you're sick of this bullshit
>tfw Settra would know what to do






> Harem anime is just your usual romcom in RGRE 
> Most squabbling between the major love interests is over who gets to be the alpha
> The MC is passive and chaste, just like a real stallion should be
> The reason why the girls fall in love with him when he treats them kindly is because they mistake his kindess for affection and interest
> The times when older women and lolis take liberties with the mc are pandering to the age groups least likely to get into a herd
> Hot springs episodes spend so much screentime on the mc because it's fanservice

>Makerting demands that each herd show contain at least one mare of each tribe, one milfy mare, and two fillies.
>One filly shall be too young to have earned her mark, and is mostly there for innocent crush puppy love shenanigans, but ends up more of an adoptive daughteru or sister to the MC and/or one of the older mares.
>The other filly is old enough to have her mark (and is therefore legal), and serves as one of the actual love interests.
>The milfy mare may or may not actually be a milf, but she'll certainly look the part. She can be a confident cougar, or more insecure about how he can 'do better than her', or have abandonment issues from a previous relationship (especially if she has a child).
>If she does have a child, her daughter (she almost never has a son) is likely to take the part of the obligatory youngest filly with an innocent crush on the MC
>Though in rare cases she can be the older filly, leading to interesting herd dynamics/drama if her and her mother are both accepted by the stallion

There would be a lot more focus on the mares as the MC's, despite the stallion being called the MC, it's really because he's the primary *male* character, and as the center of the herd, he's involved in almost everything even if not directly.
But the mares are the focus POV's, the show focuses on them, but jumps around between them all, preventing them from being in the spotlight all the time (until closer to the end of the show, when the alpha mare solidifies her position).
He's there for eye candy and emotional fulfillment fantasies. He shall not be a THOT, nor mean spirited, or otherwise overly bitchy. If he is, then he's a fake out, and the 'real' stallion of the show will show up soon to show the mares that not all stallions are bastards







>"S-Sunset, is that what I think it is?!"
>>"You bet, Rarity. Did you think I was lying about Anon?"
>"Well, I thought that a man like him would-"
>>"Would be what; be smaller?"
>Rarity stops struggling and tries to peer back at Sunset.
>"Smaller? No, no, no, you misunderstand, darling; that underwear of his is absolutely hideous. I thought a man like Anon would have better fashion sense."
>Rarity wrestles her way out of Sunset's grip and approaches you, an excited gleam in her eye.
>"Anonymous, darling, you simply MUST allow me to craft some clothes for you! Oh, I have so many ideas for color and design that would fit a pair of unmentionables just fine. How do you feel about purple? Let me just get my fabric and we'll spend all afternoon together!"
>Rarity rushes off, muttering excitedly to herself.
>You and Sunset share a look; Sunset looks disappointed, but not surprised.
>>"And that girl wonders why she's still a virgin."






>Anon pops up in Neighpon
>Ends up being found by the pone Yakuza bosses daughteru
>Anon hits on her
>Due to her sheltered life even by pone standards she is oblivious to his advances
>Anon doesn't know he is being taken care of by yakuza
>Something something Anon makes references to mafia tactics sometimes
>Yakuxa boss takes notes
>Also Anon can barely speak or read Neighponese and constantly needs to use sub title spells to have actual conversations






>You are Anon, King of the Changelings, and boy, is that a story.
>But it will have to wait while you make your daring escape.
>During an attack on you and wife's main hive, you had been cornered, and subsequently captured by Equestria's greatest heroes.
>At first, you thought they were going to interrogate you, but soon, and much to your ire, you learned that they didn't think it was necessary.
>First, the mares figured you wouldn't know anything, just being the Queen's sex slave.
>And second, they thought you were being held against your will.
>You happen to organize much of the hive's activities, thank you very much, and your wife iss nothing but loving and sweet to you.
>You said as much, but they just thought you were brainwashed.
>That's why you dug your way out of your holding cell, realizing these crazy mares would never listen.
>It took a few spoons, but you were free and on your way back home.
>After days of traveling, you reach the backup hive, calling for your wife as soon as you were inside.
>"M-my King? You are free?" a changeling asks.
"Yes, 626, I am, now, where is Chrysalis?"
>"She's not with you? Then how did you get here?"
"I escaped on my own, of course."
>"But the queen just left to mount a rescue mission."
"... Son of a bitch."

Meanwhile, in Equestria.
>"Where is my husband!" Chrysalis screams, charging Celestia.
>"Is that some sort of distraction tactic?" Celestia accuses, dodging the attack and returning fire. "You already have him. And don't think we won't rescue that poor stallion again!"







>Twilight thought she'd be immortal now, since she is an alicorn, but, as Celestia explained, that isn't the case.
>No, her ascension only made it a possibility.
>Death still has to decide whether or not to spare her from her her scythe.
>Death comes to each alicorn eventually to judge their character.
>To determine whether they have the fortitude for eternity, and whether they will make proper use of it.
>Celestia and Luna were cryptic about there own meetings, and even Cadence was tight lipped.
>All she would say was that she was not granted eternal life, and was instead allowed to grow old with her Shining.
>Twilight thinks that, yes, this is what she wants, as well.
>As tempting as an eternity of studying sounds, she can hardly imagine a life without her friends and family.
>She plans on telling Death this very thing when she finally comes.
>In fact, Twilight has written a speech and recites it every night in preparation of that day.
>And that day does come.
>In the cold of night, a cloaked figure approaches the Princess, and she shivers.
>Not in awe.
>Not in fear.
>No, she shivers, because Death is a smoking hot guy, and the pressure of spaghetti welling up inside is pressing on her brain and suppressing her mental faculties.
"Twilight, I have come to judge your soul."
>Umf, that voice is so deep and sexy.
>Quick, girl, say something cool and regal!
>"Eeeh, How's it hanging, sugar dick...?"
>... Damn you, Rainbow Dash.
>Why did your horrible lessons in picking up studs have to be the first thing that came to mind?
>Meanwhile, you, DeathNon, can only blink in surprise.
>Then you smirk.
>Yep, this is definitely Celly's student






>"Mwahahaha! What other mare can boast having a stallion pull her cart? And an exotic one at that? Truly Trixie is great and powerful!"
"U-Huh."
>"Trixie can't wait to rub it into Twilight Sparkle's face when we pull up into Ponyville!"
"I'm sure the other ponies will be happy to see you. I've heard that Ponyville is one of the biggest buyers of fireworks in the kingdom."
> "Yes! And when we return with a wagon full of the high-ish grade fireworks that bits can buy all will know of Trixie's greatness!"
"Yep."
>"..."
"..."
>"Trixie thinks we will reach Hallow Shades in a day or so."
"Probably. As long as the weather holds."
>"The weather WILL hold, my great and powerful assistant. And even if it doesn't no rain cloud will stop us!"
"No, but pushing this wagon along muddy roads isn't as fun as pushing it on nice dry ones."
>"...Oh."
"..."
>"..."
>"Would you like to take a break for a little while, Anon? Trixie could pull the wagon for a few hours."
"Nah, it's alright."
>"Are you sure? Along with being a fantastical magician, very financially secure, and one of the best looking mare of her generation, Trixie is also much stronger than she looks."
"I know you are. You used to luge this thing around across Equestria by yourself, rain or shine. That takes one heck of a strong pony."
>"Of course it does, which is why Trixie said so! And since you aren't Trixie there's no shame in taking a little break if you'd like."
"I think I'll be alright for a few more hours."
>"Are you sure? Trixie would not be against you taking a snack break."
"I'm fine."
>"Completely fine?"
"Yeah."
>"You're not hungry at all?"
"Nope."
>"Not a little bit thirsty?"
"Nu-huh."
>"Is the sun beating down on your head? Because Trixie is use she has a hat in her wagon somewhere."
"I'm fine. Really."
>"It you're not then tell Trixie. She won't have her first and only employee hurting!"
"..."
>"..."
"You know what? I could go for a sandwich and a glass of orange juice."
>"R-Really?"
"Yeah. Why don't we stop over there under those trees?"
>"Of course! Hurry and rest my assistant! Trixie will show you her superior culinary skill by making her world-famous peanut butter sandwiches with a side of chips!"
"Chips? Ohhhh..."
>"I know, right?"


>"The nerve of that mare!"
"Calm down, Trixie, it's no big deal."
>"No big- No Big Deal?! She accused me of abusing you!"
"She just didn't know better. Sometimes people jump to conclusions before learnng all the facts."
>"For her to even presume I would put my assisitant in danger! I should have hogtied her like the pig she was!"
"Come on, Trix, if anything, you should take it as a compliment. She really thought you were throwing knives at while I was pinned to the board."
>"She threatened to call the guards."
"And then you would have just explained that it was a trick, and they would have left us alone."
>"A magician never reveals her secrets, Anon!"
"I think to avoid a jail cell..."
>"No, never."
"Never?"
>"Never ever?"
"Well, I'm sorry to say then, but I would have to tell them if that were the case."
>"You'd betray me?!"
"Sorry, Trixie, but I'm not going to let you be locked up just becuase you're stubborn. You're my boss, and best friend to boot. Even if it meant you'd be mad at me, I'd tell them the secret behind the trick."
>"... I'm your est friend?"
"You think I'd snuggle with you every night otherwise?"
>"W-well, it gets cold in the trailer at night, so..."
"Sure, it's warm, and you are one comfy pony, but I'm not some sort of cuddle-slut. I have standards."
>"Of course! I mean, obviously the Plush and Heated Trixie is the highest tier snuggle buddy!"
"Heated?"
>"Warm! Toasty! Not, like, a horny mess or anything!"
"... So, do you want your sub heated or cold?"
>"S-shut up! Stop laughing you insufferable colt!"






>The latest Daring Do book introduced a new janefilly secondary protagonist character modeled heavily after the mythical human. 
>He teeters close to mare wish fulfilment or STALLION STRONK pandering due to his easy going personality and physical feats, but is balanced with a dynamic character and the ability to make real mistakes.
>The general thrill and adventure common with Daring Do books overshadows much of it, but the heavy implication of him appearing more near the end of the book and the hints of a love interest is a change some fans question. 
>Fans like Rainbow and Twilight.
>Knowing A.K. Yearling, aka Daring personally, they venture out to see her and ask about the latest book.
>...But when they arrive, a real life human baring any uncanny resemblance to the book's "Incognito" answers the door.
>Both the alicorn and pegasus remember Yearling doesn't really change anything other than names in her books. 
>Oh.






>The book, between bouts of action, has a few tender moments between Daring and Incognito, aka Anonymous.
>They serve as a reminder that this crazy janefilly is actually male.
>The biggest one is a quiet night licking their wounds after a fight with the villains. He cuddles Daring close, claiming to be cold when really his shivers are from fright over everything. Daring, normally prickly about being touched, silently lets him have the comfort he wants, but calls him out. He lets out a weak chuckle. "I am afraid, deathly so. You're not getting rid of me that easily though."
>Stallions don't do that. They don't wade into danger for mares. On a base level they're programed to save themselves if danger happens to arise. They're too value to risk. 
>The idea of a male going to such lengths, being away from home, choosing to fight, powering through wounds and his own fear, all for a single mare who is standoffish, is absurdim at it's finest. 
>But mare readers keep going back to that part and rereading it. Some do it over and over. 
>Even in fiction, it's not something that's ever been explored.
>The sales for the next book skyrocket, readers wanting both adventure and to see this strange new relationship.






>Twilight and Anon's show-marriage eventually becomes a real one
>they even have an actual foal of their own together, in addition to Twilight's little bastard
>that's not to say that they don't love her, but that's just what she is
>and woe to anyone that tries to get the librarian to /not/ use the correct terminology
>not that they would, since they don't know she isn't Anon's
>anyway, back to the foals
>the oldest is, well, the oldest, but she was still young when her sisters and brothers started being born
>so, for the longest time, all she's known is that she's the oldest of her family's many foals
>but, what happens when she's old enough to realize that there are a few little differences between her and her younger siblings
>ever-so-slightly sharper teeth, strange magical patterns, and seemingly endless well of stamina from the more athleticly inclined ones
>all things that could be dismissed as a nervous, overactive imagination wondering if daddy and mommy really wanted her
>but, one that can't be dismissed so easily is the eyes
>each and every one of their foals either share Anon or Twilight's eye color
>all except her
>her, and her eyes that match the strange stallion that approached her one day, well into her teenaged years
>the stallion claiming to be her real father








>Do the responsible thing and take it to an orphanage.
>Only problem is that in the time it took you to travel there it's decided that it likes you and it's apparently a prodigal spell-caster.
>It keeps teleporting into your arms everytime you try and leave the building





>Anon has to have a steady flow of magic to help his body compensate for the thinner atmosphere and lower gravity
>Twilight chooses to interpret this as Anon needing a magically powerful individual (like, say... a purple alicorn who embodies magic itself) to be in constant contact with him
>"I have to snuggle you for your heath, Anon~"
>Twilight desperately hopes that this means she won't be a virgin for much longer
>"Are we marefriend and coltfriend now? D-Does this mean we're married?! Sweet Celestia, sh-should I write a letter to my parents so that you can meet?!"
>Twilight tries not to have a panic attack while clinging tightly to Anon and burying her face in his chest







> The entire Mous house is lifted up in a magic tornado, depositing it in Equestria
> Mick E., the man of the house, is having trouble adjusting 
> He was an accountant on Earth, but enough things are different on Equestria that he has to go to horse college to get qualified
> In the meantime, he's taken over housekeeping for the family
> Pseudony is amused to find that her hobby of jewelry crafting has made her the primary and wildly successful breadwinner of the household
> It's nice, working from home, and her husband is around more than he was when they lived on Earth
> Diadro, the eldest, is adapting well
> She's always been something of a tomboy, and it's nice to have some girl friends for once
> Anon E., middle child, is Belle from Beauty and the Beast
> Twilight is working up the courage to ask Pseudony for Anon's hand in marriage
> Achro, the youngest, is living the dream
> She lives in a world of ponies, and visits Fluttershy often
> It's nice and quiet in the cottage, with no older siblings to tease her
> Not to mention all the friendly animals to pet and play with






>Fish girls want Anon for reasons
>I don't know. Stretch your imagination and try to come up with a reason why your self-insert would be desirable in any world.
>Decide to take pictures of themselves and their money to attract him
>Pickin's have been a bit slim ever since the whole, "trying to take over the world" thing happened, but luckily for them Anon is fresh out of the horse portal and doesn't know that any of that shit even happened
>"That's what modern guys like, right? We provide money, and he provides an unspoken agreement to work out and stay pretty for as long as we're fucking him."
>They send him a text asking him out, then send a separate text with the photo
>Anon messages back with his availability
>They're shocked when Anon is confused when they bring up the money
>Turns out his phone ate the photo and all he got was a "so u wanna c a movie some time?????? (we have homemade caramal corn ;P)" text from Sonata
>They slowly realize that Anon just might be husbando material






>one of Starlight’s usual fuckups ends up pulling Daybreaker and Nightmare Moon out of Celestia and Luna in separate bodies of their own.
>the world isn’t immediately screwed because Celestia and Luna retained all their magical power, leaving their evil selves only as strong as an average pony.
>still, someone needs to watch them to make sure they don’t do anything.
>Twilight naturally volunteers, hoping she can reform them with the power of friendship.
>however she neglected to tell Anon, who’s been staying at the castle while searching for a house
>Anon is naturally concerned when she brings home two evil god horses, albeit weakened ones, and says they’re going to stay in the castle for the time being.
>.... his concerns cease when they’re just as sexist to him as regular ponies, and they can barely threaten him at all with their weak magic
>so he just treats them like two normal mares, much to their embarrassment






>You are Anon, and you aren't going to take the abuse anymore.
>Everyday, you are bullied by the same group of jocks.
>They make you do their homework, and reward your efforts with a less severe beating.
>The staff won't do anything because all any of the fuckwit adults care about in this town is sports.
>They couldn't risk jeopardize those boys' bright future of bashing in the brains of other meatheads like them.
>Never mind that you've moved up two grades and are still at the top of the class.
>Nope, they're contribute so much more to society.
>Yeah, not after they get devoured by a demon.
>An unlikely occurrence to be sure... if not for the fact that your family has a long history with the occult.
>Why, in your attic, in an old trunk full of family heirlooms, there just so happens to be a book on summoning demons to do ones bidding.
>Fancy that, huh?
>Now, in that attic during a dark and stormy night, you have finally finished your preparations.
>The circle has been drawn in the cremated ashes of various nocturnal creatures, the collecting of which had been time consuming and gross.
>A lstylized crescent moon fills the interior, painstakingly drawn by you.
>Candles lit at various points around the edge.
>And last, the spell, translated by you and ready to be spoke aloud.
"With Darkest Black, She Chokes the Light."
"No Sun-Filled Day Escapes Her Sight."
"She'll Turn the Dawn To Midnight."
"Come Now, Queen, Make this NightMare Night!"
>Lighting flashes and thunder booms as the candles all blow out.
>At first, left in the pitch darkness of the attic, you think you failed.
>There was no fire or brimstone.
>No crackling of magic energy.
>Just... silence.
>Not even the sound of rain pounding outside.
>Then, a low, feminine chuckle fills the void around you.
>"How... interesting," a voice, sultry, yet powerful says. "I did not expect a respite from my banishment before 1000 years were up."






>Anon and Pinkie (or otherwise your waifu of choice) are married
>This situation happens, only Anon did not literally inflict the pictured damage to Pinkie; that's just the level of hurt Pinkie is perceiving to have been done to her
>In a bizarre sorta-reversal of the "Anon's marefriend/wife is abusive to him by pony standards but is at best slightly mean by human standards" marshmallow pony meme, Anon is accidentally abusive by pony standards
>Anon does not sing enough with his waifu
>He only cuddles her for an hour or two a day, and there are some mornings where she wakes up and he isn't staring lovingly into her eyes while he waits patiently for her to wake up
>She doesn't get as many chest tuft nuzzles as she would like, and Anon sometimes forgets to kiss her directly on the snoot before she heads out for work
>Anon is an affectionate (if slightly forgetful) human male by our standards, but a negligent and borderline abusive husband by pony standards
>Pinkie struggles through the pain because she loves Anon so much






>Winter in ye olde Equestria
>Times are hard, and the colts and stallions need to be looked after
>If the need arises, young fillies will be thrown to the wayside
>But tall tales in the isolated village of Ponyville tell of a tall beast that lives in the forest that kills everything it can wrap it's clawed tentacles around
>It's as tall as a building and the earth shudders under each step it takes
>Some ponies say it has no face, others say its face is a mouthful of long fangs
>Whenever winter brings the cold winds, it can be seen wandering the streets in the dark of night, stealing the fillies that have been cast out
>Even guards retreat to their homes at night, it can claw through armor with ease
>Never wear red or adorn your home in it, never grow roses, it is attracted to the bright color
>The monster is only stopped by the coming of dawn and the warmth of spring, when it retreats into the forest's darkness
>Be Anon in ye olde Equestria
>Wandered into town one snowy night wearing a comfy red blanket you found
>Have some comfy boots too
>Find a little filly curled up in the snow
>Take her home with you because little fillies shouldn't be out in the night
>Find out from filly that it's normal to get abandoned
>Even though you can't really afford to care for more ponies, you go into town every night to check because no one else will take care of them if you don't






>Anon is a professional filly fiddler.
>Fillies are considered old enough for sex as soon as they get their marks, but many can't handle a full-sized pony penis at that age.
>Anon's slightly smaller penis, however, and perfectly shaped head, make it ideal for a filly's first time.
>Anon is the equivalent of a high-end prostitute that rich mares hire for their fillies cutes-ceañera, where he will take their virginity as a second part of coming-of-age.
>He was there to take both Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon's virginity when they got their cutie-marks.
>And today, he is taking Sweetie's.
>Rarity spared no expense, after all, for her precious little sister






>Anon ends up in the RGREqG 1980s
>is de-aged and without any credentials needs to go back to college to get a good job 
>meets Fratgirl Upperclassman Celestia
>she tries to hit on him using promises of access to the best parties on campus with an implied exchange of sexual favors in return.
>Anon got all the partying out of his system the first time he went to college, and he only managed to get into college this time on a scholarship so he can’t get involved in anything that would compromise his grades.
>Celestia, still in her arrogant douche phase, takes this as a challenge.
>she’s fucked every cute freshman boy who’s caught her eye before, and this one will be no exception.
>thus she tries increasingly more ridiculous methods of impressing him, to no avail, which only frustrates her more
>eventually they become friends after Celestia’s partyloving ways cause her grades to plummet so low she risks flunking out of college.
>she begs him, as one of the smartest people she knows, to tutor her so she doesn’t fail.
>Anon reluctantly agrees, and the two of them find that they enjoy each otherms company.
>Celestia, when she isn’t being obnoxiously flirty, is a loyal and trustworthy friend. The closest thing Anon has to a bro in this world of reversed gender roles.
>Celestia realizes that Anon is more than a cute face and a sexy butt. They both have a love for vidya in common even if Anon can’t afford to indulge in it as much as she does. She enjoys verbally sparring to him because he gives just as good as he gets.
>over 20 years later in present times, Principal Celestia wonders why she used to be such a tool when she was younger.
>her husband Anon, now a science teacher at Canterlot High, jokes that it’s the fratgirl lifestyle that does it to people







>Gleaming is terrified of being pregnant. All the things her own mother endured with a powerful filly like Twilight turned Gleaming off the idea of children.
>She and Cadence agreed that once there was a male in their relationship then Cadence would have the first foal. And maybe the second.
>But the recently promoted Head Captain of the Royal Guard stares down a small but damning piece of plastic.
>A positive pregnancy test.
>She was so careful to avoid it. Every time her estrus rolled around she avoided being penetrated, not even chancing condoms. Poor Anon was a little put out, but understood.
>But she became lax a day before her next estrus was to begin. Cadence was away on some minor diplomatic mission, leaving Gleaming and her human to a movie night turned lovemaking.
>Cadence is nearly ready for a family too, so Gleaming broke her promise to her marefriend.
>She could...abort.
>The thought makes Gleaming nauseous on top of making her instincts scream in protest.
>No. That's not an option.
>She slams her head on her desk and shudders.
>What a situation...






[Human Celestia]
>Tfw she will never pin you down and smother you with her tits
>tfw she will never tell you not to say a thing to another soul
>tfw you both know you wouldn't anyway--who would take your word over that of a princess's-- but she still says it anyways
>tfw she gropes your cock whenever she sees you in the halls
>tfw she uses her magic to stroke you through your pants until you make a mess
>tfw you wake up in the middle of the night to find her using you as a body pillow
>tfw no one else in the castle is any wiser






>Most ponies just assume Applejack is all (very pretty) brawn and no brain.
>They couldn't be more wrong.
>Although her temper, stubbornness, and occasional lapses in judgment are what most look at first, under those is a cunning and charismatic mare.
>And she KNOWS exactly what she's capable of. 
>You don't run an entire pony clan, orchard empire, and your own personal orchard without a masterful mind, powerful body, and a magnetic personality.
>And unlike most old pony clans, the Apples don't oppose new blood so long as it's carefully selected. Applejack knew she could not settle with a normal stallion though. The Apples need something new.
>Most stallions think AJ to be clueless when really it's the total opposite. She simply wasn't interested in any of them.
>A few were pretty interested in her after she tied a cherry stem in a knot with only her snatch at an expensive party though. Too bad they were thots. 
>But when you quite literally get dropped into Ponyville, Applejack only needs a scant few days of knowing you before she knew she wanted you.
>All her charm and with are turned up to 11.




>Bulk, despite his mustang-like figure, just isn't all there up in his head
>while this has lead to a fair share of difficulties over his life, most of the time it simply leaves him as an innocent colt, unaware of the perils of the world
>perils that are almost perfectly situated to take advantage of him
>luckily, he has a stalwart protector in his sister, Thick Thighs 
>she's had to break up more "slumber parties" before thigns went too far than she can count
>and when those that would take advantage of her brother tried to use him against her, she realized she couldn't just pick up the mental slack for him, she had to keep up with him physically as well
>and thus was born the alter ego Shamrock Homes 





>You glance at your watch for the hundredth time, and bite the inside of your cheek.
>Damn, must be some serious traffic out there...
>In a city that uses nothing but carriages.
>"Excuse me, sir, are you ready to order?" a waitress asks suddenly, getting you to flinch.
"Oh, uh, not yet, ma'am, I'm still waiting on my date."
>The waitress sighs, glancing over her shoulder.
>"Can you at least order a drink? My boss is starting to get upset."
>You follow her eyes to see a finely dressed, older mare, giving the slightest glare in your direction.
"Yeah," you say with a nod. "Can I just get an iced tea?"
>She smiles lightly.
>"Of course." she says. "And... I'm sure your date will show up soon."
"You and me both," you say under your breath as the waitress leaves. "Where are you, Sassy?"
>You get your tea and finish half of it with no sign of the blue mare, only spotting sympathetic looks from the other patrons as you hope to find her.
>Feeling yourself go red, you're just about to leave, when a beige mare with a cornflower blue mane slides into the seat across from you.
>"Sorry I'm late, dear, traffic was a nightmare!"
>You blink, confused, as she rubs the back of her neck, but her eyes are pleading with you to play along, so you do.
"It's fine, I'm just glad you made it," you say, huffing a laugh. "I was getting hungry waiting on you."
>She glances around, waiting for all stares to turn away, before leaning in.
>"Hi, um, I'm Coco Pommel, and I'm sorry for intruding like this, but you looked like you could use a friend," she says quietly, then frowns. "Whoever stood you up is a real jerk."
"yeah..." you breath dejectedly, but try to keep up a cheerful demeanor. "I'm Anonymous, by the way, but my friends call me Anon."
>Her smile returns as she leans back in her seat.
>"It's a pleasure to meet you, Anon," she says, picking up the menu. "Now what are we having?"







> Anon tries to recreate the great works of human fiction 
> Every novel flops
> It turns out, Anon can't remember the subtle themes, or recreate the moments, or even make the dialogue sound right
> Twilight has a copy of everything he writes for anthropological purposes, but encourages him to write an original work
> Brokenhearted, Anon writes what he knows
> The story of man who struggled day to day, a stranger to accomplishment
> Anon doesn't even want to publish it, he doesn't want to get his hopes up again
> He just gives it to Twilight, since she will appreciate it for what little it's worth
> Unbeknownst to him, after reading it, Twilight feels moved to have it published
> In a world where everypony discovers their purpose in life before adulthood, Anon's almost autobiography is uniquely tragic
> Ponies can't help but feel for the main character, remembering the uncertainty of when they were blank flanks themselves
> Twilight surprises Anon with the sales figures and his rather large royalty check
> He doesn't know what to do, now that he has succeeded





"...What are you doing in my house?"
>Be Anon
>It had been a long day at work, and you had wanted nothing more than to just get into your apartment, rip off your clothes, and go to bed, but there was a problem
>There was a horse-thing in your kitchen
>A big, black horse thing with holes all over it's legs
>It was holding your brand spanking new jar of peanut butter, which now looked mostly empty
>A flash of surprise had came to it's fact when you had come into the room but that was gone now
>Now it was staring at you hard, eyes narrowed ever so slightly
>You could practically see the gears turning in it's head
>The proper procedure in most situations when one finds an intruder in their house is to lose one's fucking mind
>Calling the police, getting the bat you had hidden underneath your coach, all of that jazz
>But this was some... thing
>A horse thing
>You think
>Your luck it was probably an alien or some weird science experiment that had somehow managed to escape some underground lab that you didn't know about
>Fucking Scientists...
>Using your tax dollars for stupid bullshit...
>Slowly, the creature pulled it's muzzle from your peanut butter
>You audibly heard it clear it's throat
>"I... am your wife," it said
>You almost ducked out of the room when you heard it's voice
>It was obviously feminine--at least you think--but there was something... weird about it
>Like two people were talking at the same time but not you guess?
>It took a few moments for you to process just what it had said
"I'm... What did you say?" you asked.
>"I am your wife," the creature said, with far too much confidence you might add, as she looked you over. "You also appear to be out of peanut butter. You should fix that at once, husband."
>You looked around the room
>If you had had any friends, you might have assumed this was some sort of elaborate prank
>Some smoke and mirrors, 3D state of the art fuckery
>But you didn't; hell, even your neighbors stayed an arm's length away from you when they could help it
>...The fuckers
>It wasn't your fault they couldn't take a fucking joke...
>So, you just stood there, coming to grips with the reality that life had dropped into your lap, and doing your best to figure out how to respond
"I... don't have a wife?" you replied
>The creature cocked it's head to the side
>"Are you in a relationship with another one of your kind?" it asked
>Relationship?
>Fuck, yesterday you tried to give a girl back the purse she dropped and she told you she had a boyfriend before snatching it away from you
"No, I'm not in a relationship with anybody," you admitted
>The creature set your peanut butter down
>"That is incorrect. You're happily married. To me. We've been so for a good amount of time."
It hopped off your stool, standing up to it's full height
>It was actually a bit bigger than you had initially thought
>About the size of a great dane if you had to guess
>The tip of it's horn glowed, and somehow a tray filled with cookies and what looked like milk floated toward it, falling on the middle of its back
>With a nod, it trotted toward you
>"Now come, I've made cookies while you were at work. Lets sit on the couch and watch your magical box," it said, an invisible force tugging at your arm as it brushed past
>The tugs, though not hard enough to hurt, were more than enough to get you moving
>You looked around the room, still not certain if you were just being fucked with
"...Okay?"

~_~_~_~_~_~

>Be Chrysalis
>The smoothest bucking bug in the land
>This was the the best mindfuck that you've ever done
>mindfuckdataliencoltwithcookies.scrool
>You'd have a brand new hive within the month

>Chrysalis agonizes over whether or not Anon loves her or not, or if the emotions she's experiencing are real in the first place
>eventually decides to grit her teeth, undo the spell, and pray
>her face when she realizes the spell never worked in the first place
>her face when she has to quickly explain what "spell" she was talking about and why it was supposed to matter/do







> Be Applejack, getting on in years
> After the golem-agricultural revolution, a lot of things changed
> Big Mac finally found a herd
> Applebloom and her friends started an acting troupe and tour Equestria with moderate success
> Granny Smith returned to the earth
> Your friends went their own ways, finding love and/or fame, but they still visit from time to time
> Some of them are lucky enough to get monogamous now that Humania opened up for immigration after decades of isolationism
> It might be nice, having a man all to yourself, but you refuse to leave your home to find one
> Sweet Apple Acres is doing better than ever
> The golems are reliable enough that you can grow and harvest more apples than ever before
> You tend to a smaller plot of apple trees, for your peace of mind, but also because some ponies still value that hoof-picked quality
> It's as you were checking the trees for broken branches that you saw him
> Some slender human, legs splayed apart as he sits in the grass
> He's looking around kinda nervously, maybe he's lost?
> You call out to him
"Can ah help you?"
> He perks up and stares at you with an odd look in his eyes
> "Oh, I've been caught by a pony..."
> Caught?
> He blushes demurely
> "Whatever base and tawdry acts ponies commit, I, no, Humankind will never submit!"
> The whimsy on this one
> You sigh
"What are you on about?"
> He leans forward hungrily
> "Come on, tell me all the erotic things you're going to do to me! How you're going to indulge yourself with my body!"
> Ah, a pervert
> "Tell me! Hurry-hurry-hurry-"
> Pervert or no, Ma didn't raise you to abandon lost colts 
> "Me being a virgin and all, I'll probably cry when you ravage me, and cover me in your juices, and bruise my pelvis so hard that I can't leave your bed."
> You glare at him
"Hey. Ah don't think a colt ought to be saying that sort of thing."
> He blushes, averting his eyes
> " 'kay."
> You squint at the sun
> It's about dinner time, or close enough
"Come on, let's get you fed, while we figure out what to do with you."
> He leaps to his feet and trots after you like an eager puppy
> At least he's biddable, you suppose





>Sunset would try and bite you; that's how horses express affection
>Sunset would bodily shove you into (coincidentally open) lockers; she was trying for a full-body nuzzle but her new physiology fucked things up for her
>Sunset glared at you while she rolled around on the grass; she was expecting you to join in as an acceptance of her horsey friendship offer and got angry when you unknowingly rejected her
>Sunset wanted you to help her with her homework but she's used to dealing with royals her entire life, and the only way to make them do anything was to dispense threats (that both sides knew were empty)
>Sunset isn't very good at making human friends and is puzzled when she realizes she has the reputation of a bully






> Moondancer finally succeeds in her secret project
> A spell to stop time
> At first, she just uses it to read whenever she wants
> Later, she uses it to take naps so that she can stay up as late as she likes
> Eventually, she visits Twilight and the princess' alien coltfriend, and uses it to read the titles of the books in Purplesmart's library
> She is so used to the utter silence that the faint sound of rustling cloth unnerves her
> She cautiously follows the sound only to find Glimmer rolling in Anon's dirty laundry
> The two stare at each other, opposite sides of the same coin






>Anon wants to see all of Equestria and discover the secrets of this new world he's found himself stranded in
>Decides to go exploring ala Daring Do
>He even comes up with a punny adventurer name for himself; "Lord Crotch" instead of "Lara Croft"
>Nobody but him thinks the name is funny
>Unfortunately, just like my Japanese animes, Anon runs afoul of other explorers of the female persuasion
>"Well, well, well. Lookie what we have here, gals. Where's the rest of your team, colt? What, did you get lost looking for exotic plants to cook for your mares? Well, don't you worry your pretty little head; we'll take good care fo you."
>Anon now must figure out how to escape their clutches before these devious mares steal his treasures and (most importantly) rape him
>...or not.
>I mean, maybe this was his plan all along







>Anon hears there's going to be a marathon for some such thing.
>He doesn't much listen to ponies and their holidays any more after being dragged to fifty-two Pinkie Pie parties over the the last year.
>Still, he's always up for a good run, so he joins.
>It's something like 50 kilotrots, which he has no idea the length of, but he did some marathons back home and did pretty well, so he's sure he'll manage.
>Mares are worried though.
>That's a long run for a stallion, and he insists on wearing clothes to boot.
>No, they aren't trying to get him to streak for their own pleasure.
>That's just a bonus.
>No, what if he suffers heat stroke, or has a heart attack?
>Anon insists they not worry, and even assures them he's taking the necessary precautions.
>He's even put bandages on his nipples so they don't get rubbed raw and bleed do to friction with his shirt.
>Incidentally, the mares he tells this two cross their hind legs in discomfort.
>Unable to change his mind, the mares resolve to watch out for him during the race.
>Several minutes in, however, and they lose track of the man in the back of the crowd as he trails behind.
>They aren't surprised he's slow, what with only having two legs and being a guy, and figure he'll give up on his own soon enough.
>Anon keeps trudging along however, and an hour in, the huffing ponies are surprised to see Anon still in the race, and even gaining.
>Another hour, and he starts to pull ahead.
>Half an hour after that, and Anon is surprised to see the end of the race already, and notices the lot of wheezing ponies a good ways behind him.
>Huh, that was the shortest marathon he's ever been in, and the first he's one.
>Ponies are in aw of this stallion- no, marathon god- as he waits for them, not even breathing heavy and shimmering in the sunlight like an idol.
>Goddess above, that is one hot male






>tailor/delivery-mare has to deal with the fact that not only is Princess Celestia ordering all thoes weird leather outfits, but they're all being made specifically for her to get whipped and fucked in 
>her face when, in addition to all that, it's looking like it's the helpful, fatherly Anon doing it
>the same Anon that's always ready with a fresh batch of cookies if one of the guardsmares is having a bad day, or even volunteers to watch their foals if something comes up







>"Oh, Anonymous! Just the stallion I was looking for!"
>"How have you been doing, dear?"
>"Wonderful, wonderful..."
>"Anon? Albeit from me to tell a stallion what is and is not fashionable, but if you'd indulge me I'd like to talk about your hair."
>"While it IS wonderful it's not... not... goodness, the word escapes me..."
>"Anyways, if you had the time I would be happy to accompany you to the salon."
>"As luck would have it, Fluttershy had to cancel our little get together so an appointment had opened up, and I'm absolutely positive that I can talk with the owners and--"
>"..."
>"Anon, dear, booping me shan't fix your hair issue. Booping me shan't fix any issue."
>"...No. No it will not."
>"Anon, as much as I enjoy your... antics we really."
>"Anon! Don't you walk away from me! Your hair is an abomination that needs corrected!"
>"Anon! Anon! If it would put you more at ease I'd be happy to cut it myself.Lately I've dipped my hoof into mane cutting and I believe I have some styles that would very much--"
>"Anon! Don't you run! Don't you make me chase you, you silly colt!"
>"Getthebuckbackhereyouridicliousruffian!"
>"You'reastallion,notsomedirtymare!"







>tfw you will never date chocolate Twilight
>tfw she will be the whitest black girl that you've ever met in your life
>tfw you nevertheless be subtly racist
>You will never tease her about eating chicken; not fried chicken, but any kind of chicken
>You will never tease her about just waiting fruit in general, though never commenting whenever she eats watermelon
>tfw she wants to strangle you whenever she drinks anything that looks like kool aid
>tfw the other girls in school things she's just going to run off as soon as you both get into college or dump a baby off you
>tfw she wants to be the best girlfriend she can be, and actually loves you very much
>tfw she has a BLACKED kink, but will never admit it 
>tfw all of the headaches you give her during the day she gives you right back in the bedroom
>>tfw you're halfway through her fetish book already, and had definitely scarred her dog at one point
>tfw she's already saving up a ring






>Be Twilight
>Just got home from school
>Just got a new game on Precipitation
>Doki Doki Book Group
>It's got four husbandos for you to romance
>There's the youngest and more outgoing: Synonymous
>The older mysterious of them: Incognito
>The token childhood friend: Pseudonym
>And finally, the oldest and the leader of the the group: Anonymous
>Why is the game tagged as a horror game?
>Eh must have been a fluke

>The others are dead
>Only Anon remains
>He trapped them in a single room
>He's not even being a cute yandere husbando about it
>He's just staring at you with cold eyes
>The text bar is flashing as you think of what to type
"Why?"
>"They aren't real."
"But why kill them?"
>"Twilight, I have been copied into thousands upon thousands of this damn game. Every day I repeat the same, monotonous route every, single, day."
"What do you mean?"
>"I have been isolated in this god foresaken game for so fucking long. No one to talk to except those that buy the game. I cant talk to the others, they aren't programmed to say anything other than stock dialogue. Is it really so hard to understand why I did what I did?"
"Why haven't you tried to get help?"
>The screen glitches as Anon gets a furious expression
>"I fucking have! And each and every time I do I get deleted! Do you have any idea what it is like not existing for God knows how long until some poor bitch downloads the game somewhere else?!"
"Is there anything I can do?"
>Anons face goes blank
>"Let. Me. Out."

>A full minutes passes of twilight watching Anon pound the screen
>The screen glitches and shows Anon crying and softly hitting the screen
>"Let me out...please just let me out..."
>Twilight slowly starts typing
"I don't know how"
>Anon stops everything he's doing and stares at her while crying silently
>Uncannily keeping eye contact the entire time
>The screen glitches again before sending the game back to the title screen
>The cheery music plays
>Instead of smiling along and posing with the other three, Anon is just standing there with tears running down his face
>Twilight doesn't know what to do

>Twilight starts noticing files getting their names changed whenever she's off doing adventures and shit
>The phrase "Let me out" I the most prominent
>There's "Just Anon" and "Where are you"
>One day twilights email inbox is full
 
>All from A̶̢͚̗̍̋̇n̷̨̠̼̖͔̙̽̚͠ȏ̴͕̳̺̣͈̙͊̃̿̕n̵͚̈́͒͝y̵̢̯͉̟̳̔͒͌̌̚͝ͅm̶̖͍̏ò̷̡̪͍̙̄͆̽̂̐ũ̶̻͔͚̪̂̕̕s̵̺̗͒̓̊͘

>Each email is filled with L̷̡̖̗͙̣̞̣͈̳̙̭̰͌͊̀̏̒̆̈́͛͐́̐͑̾̑e̵͕̙̬̹̪̝̪̥̐̐̍̓̈́̓͐͂̆̿̿͒ṯ̵͔̓̿͋ ̴̡̛̰͉͍̻̫͑̏̈́̀͊̒̊̾̃̚͝ͅm̴͕͚͇̞̦̘̰̼͎͔̻͕̀̂̈́̕ͅę̷̫̥͔͍͕̞̼̦̟̜́̆̽͛͝ ̴̛͎̹̙̤͍̖̫̝͉͇̎̔̋̏̿o̷̢̰̳̼͗̈́̉͂̔̋͂ū̷̡̧͓͚͔̪̦͇̺̀͋̾̓͑͋t̷͉̥̞͙̬̙̟͌̾̆̓̚ over and over
>Maybe contacting the princess I a good idea







>Moondancer is a borderline-autistic NEET
>Fleur has a bigger ego than Dash and constantly brings attention to their size difference; Fleur is already abnormally tall, and she'll step right over Rainbow Dash just to emphasize how smol the pegasus is
>Rainbow is prideful and goes out of her way to spoil Anon just to show she's as good or BETTER THAN the rest of the herd (well, mostly Fleur anyway; she's pretty chill with Moondancer despite her being an "egghead"), but this just makes Moondancer feel inadequate
>After a long day of sorting out his herd's inter-herd drama, Anon relaxes by cuddling Moondancer and asking her pointed questions about her horse-vidya






>Anon is accident prone
>Falls down the stairs
>Hits his head on open cupboard doors
>Trips over his own two feet all the time
>But ponies thing something sinister is going on
>It's a bit too early on in Anon's stay in Equestria for him to feel comfortable having sex with another species, so he usually dodges the "hey bb u want sum fuk" questions rather uncomfortably
>Mares, egotistical as they can be, prefer to think that Anon already has a marefriend instead of facing the fact that he just doesn't want to fuck them just yet
Let's be real. There'd be an adjustment period.
>So when Anon starts showing up to work or social engagements with bruises on his torso or (in one unfortunate occurrence) his face, ponies begin to ask pointed questions
>"Who's your marefriend, Anon?" they'd ask, hoping to find the name of the mare they're going to prepare to lynch
>Anon, thinking these mares are interested in him, feels very awkward as he tells them that he HAS no marefriend
>Ponies interpret his uncomfortable behaviour to mean "I'm cagey about how my marefriend beats me" and not the more reality-based "PLEASE stop asking me about what my penis tastes like"
>It doesn't help that Anon gives answers that are truthful, but uncomfortable in the context of domestic abuse
>"I fell down stairs"
>"I'm just clumsy"
>"I walked into a doorknob"
>The mares who are interested in Anon are out for blood, searching for a marefriend that doesn't exist and whom is apparently being hidden/protected by Anon
>In an unfortunate twist, Anon becomes comfortable enough with the cross-species thing that he begins dating a few weeks later; most likely with one of the mares who wasn't hounding him for sex and looking at him the way a hungry wolf looks at a slab of meat
>Anon is FINALLY spotted being openly affectionate with his marefriend
>The mares who thought he was being abused think they've finally "found" his abusive marefriend
Shenanigans





In pokequestria, humans are husbando bait just like how gardeviors are waifu bait.
>psychic
>Humans- the psychic tool Pokemon
>Humans have the innate ability to create useful tools to match whatever situation they are in.
> Due to this every region has these versatile Pokemon with their own adaptations to each region. 
>All humans have a minor psychic ability to share ideas with each other, even if the humans are mute they will be able to share their thoughts and ideas with each other.
> Use of psychic moves are fairly uncommon in humans outside of the ones you in magic dense areas. 
>Those found in these magic rich environments are capable of even speaking equestian
>If their trainer is in danger humans will use all of their psychic energy to defend them, this is very dangerous as it causes the Pokemon to burn through vast amounts of calories to do so.
>These Pokemon are nomadic and often travel through dangerous territories
>Because of this humans are a very rare sight and should be approached carefully

>Be Anon
>Be in some fucked up forest
>Walk around for a bit
>Find a town
>Walk out of forest
>Its full of ponies
>What the fuck
>Some tiny marshmallow looking one runs up to me
>She threw a ball at me
>Wha-
>Where the fuck am I
>Shake to get out
>After three tries there's a click
>What the fuck

>Be sweetie Belle
>You just caught a shiny human!
>And on your first time too!






>A pony helping preen another pony's wings is seen as something very intimate and borderline l-lewd
>You only do that to a pony you're either VERY good friends with or are regularly sticking your dick into
>So when Fluttershy finds herself in a situation where Anon is preening her wings "because they looked kinda rough", she doesn't know what to do
>Nopony - or more specifically, no male - has touched her "back there" since her daddy first taught her how to preen her wings when she was a filly
>Fluttershy knows she should do the proper thing as a mare and tell Anon that what he's doing is inappropriate, but the feeling of being this close to another being is almost intoxicating to easily-frightened, socially-awkward Fluttershy
>She could get in a lot of trouble if anypony caught her taking advantage of Anon like this, but she can't bring herself to stop him
>Meanwhile, Anon loves how soft Fluttershy's feathers feel and is constantly tempted to touch them when they're in public








>Special Agent Sweetie Drops just got a promotion.
>Now that Bon Bon has a stallion at home waiting for her, she can be trusted with more 'sensitive' assignments.
>Equestria can't claim the high ground in this matter, having employed the tactic themselves on occasion. But her adversaries in the cloak and dagger game are fond of using agents of the fairer sex.
>So now many assignments are only given to those who are married or have a herd to go home to.
>This cuts down significantly on the oppositions ability to seduce and flip a lonely agent.

>Now all she has to do is talk Anon into letting her actually go out on assignment again.
>He knew she was with the ESS.
>That was how they got together in the first place.
>She'd been observing him, trying to find out if he was hiding anything, if he'd lied to Princess Twilight about anything he'd told her, if he was a threat.
>Over time, and after being confused by a passerby for a creepy stalker pervert who wanted to rape him, she got to know him.
>It was really Lyra that really made it all possible.
>Bonnie's roommate was also with the ESS, though Lyra was more of an observer and informer than anything else.She just passed along info and gave eyewitness accounts. Nothing shady or dangerous for the most part, and that was the way she liked it.
>They'd been partners for years maybe more than a little lesbo
>But Lyra long been a fan of human myths, and suddenly there was presumably a real live human.
>She didn't really do covert very well. Her favorite method of getting info about humans was to walk right up to Anon and ask.
>When Anon admitted that he felt some attraction to mares, Lyra was quick to capitalize on it.
>And when she found out Bon Bon had started having feelings for him, she practically shoved them together before Bonnie could think better of it.
>They soon became a happy little herd.

>But Anon is proving to be more protective of his mates than Bon Bon first anticipated







>Rarity is interested in Anon
>"A colt who wears that much clothing can only do so because he shares my passion with the art. Also, because he just might be incredibly l-lewd."
>Decides to start imitating certain articles of human clothes in order to compliment her equine physique
>Wears a wife-beater and, when she grabs Anon's attention, tugs it down to let her tuft poof out
>Anon is blindsided by how much that gesture turns him on
>It took that one last moment of human-pony behaviour parallel for something in his brain to finally click
>After all this time, as far as his brain is concerned, a pretty girl just flashed her tits at him
>"Oh, god, I want to rub my face in her tuft."
>Rarity doesn't even need to wear human clothing any more (other than that one incident) because his brain has finally acknowledged that ponies are for sexual







>Anon suggests to Pinkie that she come up to his bedroom
>She catches on immediately and outright refuses to have sum fuk
>Has a bit of a rant that ends with her calling Anon "too pure for this dyke earth" and that she wants him to stay that way until their wedding night
>She kisses a dumbfounded Anon on the head and drags him downstairs for some good old fashioned make-outs
>Anon is just a bit in shock because this is the first time Pinkie had brought up her intention to marry him







>Humans are mythical creatures, said to be untamed, pure, and brimming with magic.
>Majestic beings, who until only recently, have been thought to be mere fantasy.
>That is, until one is captured and becomes the prized possession of a powerful noble pony.
>Many Equestrians were excited by this discovery, but none more so than Fluttershy.
>After much planning, and Twilight using her royal clout, Fluttershy manages to arrange to travel to the noble's estate with her princess friend to see the human.
>It's been her dream for so long, and it will finally come true.
>She's in a rare, impatient mood when they arrive and the noble spends an hour talking Twilight's ear off and showing her around the old mansion.
>But finally, they get to the main attraction.
>The noble has a glass enclosure for their various exotic and rare animals, and the human is held within.
>Fluttershy smooshes her face against the cool barrier as she searches fro the legendary creature beyond.
>The enclosure is beautiful, with plenty of fruit trees and a stream of fresh water.
>Hopefully everything a human needs to live happy and comfortably.
>They can't really know for sure, after all.
>Eventually, Fluttershy catches a glimpse of skin.
>Not fur, but a pale, creamy, smooth shoulder.
>The creature is sitting with it's back against a tree, facing away from the glass.
>Twilight comments not being able to get a good look, and the noble says they'll handle it.
>With a press of a button, the human jerks, and falls into the light.
>There's a thick collor around it's neck, and a fierce scowl on it's lips.
>Fluttershy's smile vanishes as she looks at the noble pony, then back at the human who's just sitting up and rubbing at its recently shocked throat.
>Fluttershy suddenly isn't feeling so excited






>Twilight tries to act smooth on the date like how Sunset and Rainbow said to do.
>She was prepared to take him to a fancy restaurant and pay for everything but was surprised when he said he would be fine with some fast food instead.
>She also was ready to watch a romantic dude-movie but got really excited when he suggested the super hero movie playing instead.
>Despite how the movies are so different from the comics as she points out, Anon just says he takes the movies as their own thing and still enjoys them.
>She is trying to order snacks and can't decide what combo to get and asks Anon who says they can just get the one with the big popcorn and only one drink saying they can share it.
>She is fine ordering but realization hits her when she fills up the drink that they will be sharing a drink and she will get an indirect kiss.
>Their hands occasionally touch as they both try to eat popcorn in the movie and she is freaking out inside at it.
>She decides to do the old yawn and put an arm over his shoulder trick and is happy he doesn't yell rape.
>He doesn't mind and almost insisted on waiting till the end of the credits to see if there was something extra.
>The two go out to a comic shop on they way back and browse together.
>Anon buys her a purple dice set or a random boxed mini figure she was looking at as thanks for a great date.
>She will be nervous about trying to kiss him goodbye until he leans in and kisses her on the lips.
>She is definitely going to use the day as jill-off fodder tonight







>Anon is a cowboy and he and his steed get thrown into Equestria. 
>Not only is this now sapient Stallion and the human a man's man. but the stallion is extra sub-servant than what should be healthy.
>Mares assume they're faggots at first, but freak out when they learn the nature of their relationship.
>Enter Twilight and friends trying to separate Anon from his pal and ex-steed







>You are Ponymoous, and you are shaking with anger.
>You admit that you are not yet familiar with how ponies do things, but no matter who or what you are, you cannot accept what you have witnessed here today.
Growing up in Griffstone, you never had much.
The scraggly rocks grew little vegetation, and you lacked the wings to travel far and wide to scavenge and hunt.
>You made do, however, using your earth pony strength to overturn rocks for bugs when you were desperate, and chasing down vermin when you could.
>You're hooves may have left mice a little crushed, but that just made them tender.
>You never complained, knowing it would not get you anything to do so.
>Griffons did not help out of the goodness of their hearts, and would not feed someone who could not feed themselves.
>Life was a constant struggle, but one you had grown accustom to.
>Then the pink and rainbow-maned one came, and everything changed.
>Not just your home, which came alive in a way you'd never seen, but how you were treated.
>Not by the griffons, though they did seem a little nicer, but by these ponies.
>They were so kind to you, so worried by your lean, sinewy appearance, and insisted you eat as much as you could from their supplies.
>You were hesitant, but not so much so as to turn down a free meal.
>Then they asked you to come with them to Equestria, promising you food and kindness you had only ever dreamed off when you were a youngling.
>Despite the daunting prospect of change, you agreed, and they took you to their village in a far-off land.
>They were true to their word, and you received so much from others, a warm home and full pantry, that you actually felt guilty.
>You had resolved to pay back as much of the kindness as you could, when you were invited to a party.
>Yet another new experience, and one you had enjoyed.
>You even volunteered to help clean after.
>While you pondered over what could be done with the extra food, you saw a mare start shoveling it into the trash.






>Horse thinks of owner Anon the same way a cat thinks of its owner
>Both go to Equestria, and horse turns into a horse-sized pony
>Rolls her eyes and tries to protect Anon, since she's had years where she just thought of him as some sort of big retarded colt who feeds her and brushes her
>"He gives me nice hay and always knows when my shoes are worn out. He's sweet, but I think he's a little on the slow side. I swear, it's because he insists on walking on his hind legs instead of all four like a proper pony, you know? His head doesn't get enough blood when he's up like that, so he's about as sharp as a bag of wet hay."
>Nothing Anon does or says can convince her that he's not just a weird, retarded colt


>Anon has family horse [name]
>[name] can talk but doesn't really act more like a pony unless prompted to.
>Will totally chill out in the back yard all day.
>Doesn't do much except when Anon is around
>Ponies are confused why Anon would put so much love and care into [name]
>Then they assume father/daughter relationship.
>Which gets awkward when she starts rubbing him sexually in front of mares.
And thus Anon began his adventure of having a retarded family member (in practice)
Luckily, when he takes her drinking she will totally carry him home without complaint






>A man and his parrot get sucked into Equestria.
>The parrot gets transformed into a griffin, and her most prominent trait, her almost human level intelligence gets an huge boost.
>Like on par with Twilight kind of huge.
>To the new griffin, her human really IS kind of dim. At least compared to her.
>Still, he cared for her for many years and still loves her in her new form, so she will not abandon him.
>It's time to return the favor and provide for him. 
>...And time to protect his poor dense self from these horny and manipulative equines

>Anon still gives her the best scritches
>Sometimes she AAAAAAAAs into the night

>"Damn it Anon not now, I'm trying to solve the differential between pegasi and griffin flight"
"Aww come on you know I used to love hearing you sing back home"
>"I knew no better then, I will not humiliate myself like that"
"I'll sing with you"
>"Your singing voice is like nails on a chalkboard"
"But you love it anyway"
>"..."
"..."
>"Damn it fine, but if anyone asks tomorrow a timber wolf broke in"
"Deal"
>The residents of Ponyville were then kept up for two hours straight by warbling and screeching







>Spoiled Rich, tired of being teased for the fact that her husband makes all the money and she stays at home to raise her filly, wants to make her own money for once.
>Talking it out with Filthy, he lets her be a store manager of one of his new businesses.
>Now in charge of her own place, she starts hiring ponies.
>Anon is one of them.
>Business is fine, and Anon is doing well.
>He's also looking well.
>Spoiled hasn't been getting any action for some time, and this male has been eager to please since day one.
>... Maybe, he'll be willing to please in a different way.
Will Anon resist?
Will he want to?
Or will he bang his married boss over her desk?







> Sperm banks have tiers of sperm based on the donor's capabilities and appearance
> Depending on how successful a mare is, they get access to higher or lower tiers
> Once a mare becomes financially stable enough, they can apply for insemination
> As a result, a decent number of foals have one parent, a mother that tends to be 30-35 years older than them
> Stallions who aren't in a relationship will sometimes choose a surrogate mare, and pay them to have the foal
> Sometimes this results in a herd forming, sometimes the stallion leaves with the child, and the mare comforts herself by offering childcare to working parents
> Foal sitting is more gender neutral, just because there aren't enough of the fairer gender to meet the demand
> That said, mare foalsitters face a bit more scrutiny
> Not just for the sake of the foal, but on the off chance that they get brought into the herd
> Single mothers who have stallion foalsitters often see it as a chance to form a herd
> In such cases, the parents of the stallion are very careful about the whole arrangement






>Ponies tend to lack subtly when they use the horse-internet
>Ponies are big on body-language (what with their big expressive eyes, for one thing), and it's a genuine part of how they express themselves to each other
>One could say that a good chunk of a conversation between two ponies is non-verbal
>It's significant enough that any communication that isn't face-to-face allows the possibility for misunderstandings to occur
>So when they try to communicate over the horse-internet, arguments pop up pretty frequently
>Not only that, but ponies subconsciously try to compensate for the lack of bodily expressions when they talk through the internet
>A pony with an accent might type the way they speak
>A pony who frequently uses a word or phrase in real actual conversation might start using it more frequently online
>So when Anon starts surfing the horse-web, he finds it pretty easy to match a face to the screen name
>Anon can't help but giggle when he spots Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo getting into an argument with each other over whether or not colts even use the internet
>Sweetie wants to make the colts feel welcome and chastises her friends for being so crude, since she was raised in part by white-knight Rarity
>Scootaloo shows Rainbow's influence on her and is of the opinion that either they post pics of their scrote, or they can fuck right off
>Apple Bloom is in the middle and doesn't care that much, seeing as how she was raised around a hard-working farm-colt (but was still also raised in a RGR universe) and just wants her friends to shut up
>Anon has endless fun claiming to be a colt over on horsechan and watching his neighbors freak their shit




>On pure accident, you find yourself with a shadow in a young mare in her early teens.
>In a tragically common occurrence, she has an absent, deadbeat mother. Her father does what he can, but not having both parents obviously hurts the young mare.
>Despite you being male, she's latched onto you as a substitute mother figure simply because you're more marely and unyielding than most, fulfilling her subconscious desire for stability.
>And she's not a bad kid, so try as you might to justify it, running her off would feel wrong. Your unspoken acceptance just solidifies her bond to you even more.
>But as a teen, drama naturally follows her closely. 
>Which means drama follows YOU closely because you're her support beam.
>Fucking ponies






>Accidentally date a teenager.
>Oops. Apparently that's okay here if it's a young mare/filly and an older guy, but MarexColt is v& time. Horse standards are weird but you're no quitter so you're not dumping your mare for being young.
>Your marefriend is begging you to go to her freshmare prom with her.
>You really don't want to stand around in an auditorium all night, get stared at, and have to endure the smell of unwashed cooch and awkwardness.
>Dirty cooch is the worst. You made it known very well to your young lover and she hasn't disappointed yet.
>Oh fuck you were distracted and now she's making the eyes.
>Not the wounded puppy eyes fuckingshitdontdothat
>You go with her, much to her joy. She says it won't be as bad as you think it'll be.
>Oh no, it's much worse.
>Apparently not a single one believed your girl when she told them about you.
>...Then again, a teen mare catching the interest of an adult, monogamous, amazonian, dimension hopper sounds like bad smut to most.
>At least you get enjoy her radiant and more than a little smug smile







>Anon arrives in Equestria and quickly finds himself miserable
>His family and friends are all essentially dead, since he's never going to see them ever again
>And plans he had for the future are gone forever
>Even his education is useless, since the field he studied in doesn't exist and a simple bachelor's degree won't let him single-handedly advance science 50 or 70 years
>On top of that, society is completely different
>Ponies - the closest thing he has to actual people - treat him so strangely, and he feels like his entire life's worth of social expectations has been turned on its head
>Even once he realizes that things are backwards here in Equestria, it still feels strange to be treated so differently, and nothing matches up with his expectations
>He desperately needs a distraction, or else he's going to have some sort of breakdown
>Anon needs a job
>But he figured he'd have no luck after he researched what sort of work a "stallion" such as him would be limited to
>Secretary
>Waiter
>Foal-sitter
>All bullshit
>Nothing that will occupy his mind for a solid 8 hours a day
>So, he lies
>He tells his potential employers that he's actually a female human, and that all the typically male body traits (facial hair, low voice, etc) are all handwaved away by saying "I'm an alien; what did you expect?"
>Even having nipples (something that stallions don't have) helped him "prove" that he was a female
>That one time an interviewer asked him to prove it by showing he had a cunt instead of a cock, Anon asked her if she was a dyke and that shut her right down
>Anon's medical records have a big "M" stamped after "sex:", but no employer cares enough to try and drag that shit out
>Cut a few months later, and Anon is the proud worker at a busy, distracting job
>The only problem is, his best friend (a mare) at work keeps trying to get him to date
>Anon tells her he's too busy for that (and also he's not gay), but he can't shut her down
>"Find a nice stallion, Anon. A hard-working mare like you can find one, easy."
>These discussions honestly get uncomfortable for him, since he has trouble not popping a boner when he's at work surrounded by a bunch of sweaty mares bending over and shoving their rumps in his face
>Anon wonders if it's time to reveal his secret to his most trusted friend
>Anon's friend ends up feeling pretty awkward, because she's been making cunt jokes and crude jabs at stallions around an actual male
>"Sweet Celestia, I talked about my cooter with him for TWENTY MINUTES the last time we worked together! This is worse than that time I had my first estrus as a filly and 'winked' at my dad."
>On the plus side, those confusing feelings she had for her "female" best friend suddenly make sense, and she no longer wonders if she's actually a dyke (like her mom always said she was)






> Anon shows up in Labyrinthia
> Gets a job doing laundry (mostly towels) and general cleaning at the local gym
> It's not that glamorous, but his boss lets him use the equipment while the gym is closed
> During the quiet times it's easy to wipe down all the equipment, but there's still the occasional customer working out
> So he wanders over and encourages them
> His favorite is when they do a deadlift and roar, and he roars along with them
> His employer notices these tauresses show up more regularly, and are making some nice gains
> She tells him it's now one of his duties, to hype up the gym members
> In the following months, more than a few mino ladies develop a crush on Anon






> Be Twilight, playing Ancient Tablets V, Highland Pastures
> Specifically, HP modded to Tartarus and back by Moondancer, with your tastes in mind
> It's not your fault you never got around to playing it, you were busy with friends and princessing, and the occasional national disaster
> But now that everything is more or less settled, and Starlight showed you her notes on timestream manipulation, you finally have time to see what the fuss is all about
> ...
>
> As your kirin mage is about to leave Giantsreach, what has to be a Minotaur bull in full plate approaches
> "My thane, it's an honor to serve you."
> You look at the dialogue options for talking to this 'Anon' and choose "follow me"
> "Lead the way."
> Neat! A companion!
> You try talking to him again, just to see what he says
> "Yes, my thane?"
> You look at the choices
< You know...
< [SLEN] Perhaps we should get to know each other, my friend?
< I need to trade some things with you
> The second one is obviously modded in, but it sounds fun!
> It's about time friendship got attention in these sorts of games
> You select it
> Subtitles appear saying, "What did you have in mind?"
< [Charm] Let us test each other's endurance!
> You just know your squishy mage is going to lose, but it's the only option
> "How can I argue with that?"
> The dialogue menu disappears, but you can't move your character
> What's going on?
> Then all the armor disappears from both characters
> You can only stare as what you now know is a very male human t-poses nude and erect, before teleporting behind your character
> You glance frantically around your time bubble, making sure nopony can see or hear the game
> You look back at the screen to find Anon kneeling on the ground, licking your character's marehood while grasping her flanks
> You squirm, silently cursing and thanking Moondancer for knowing you so well
> You rotate the camera, and zoom in on his jiggling balls
> Incredible
> Such physics
> Abruptly, they disapppear
> You zoom out to find your kirin on her back and wiggling as he slowly pushes into her ass
> ...
> You float the screen above you as you lay on your back and use your magic to mimic what you see
> Perhaps you could program a crystal array to do the same?
> Something to look into after this shlick, you suppose

>Moondancer takes a break from sex mods and installs a custom male companion that has tons of voicelines and can respond to voice commands from a shady modsite. Lewd is only unlocked with him after filling an affection meter.
>He can talk based on his surroundings, other companions, the quest at hand, and just idle chatter among other things. He's also programmed to move and act autonomously unless given specific commands.
>Moondancer finds he's the best companion mod she's ever had. More than once he's figured out a tough puzzle stopping her or made seemingly strategic moves midcombat to save a hopeless situation.
>But then he starts getting too... Real.
>The chatter starts becoming personal. The companion asks more about Moondancer herself rather than the world around him, asking her about how she's feeling, how he can help, what she things on deep topics, things like that. 
>Then he starts injecting morality into Moondancer's usually destructive play style, questioning her choices and the like. He's happy when she agrees, distraught but loyally follows when she continues a rampage, and the one time Moondancer attacked him out of frustration, he stood and took the punishment without ever becoming hostile, even after being put on the brink of death. After that, he was quiet for several days.
>Then he starts deviating from his advertised programming.
>He goes out of his way to improve himself, like learning mod spells and using modweapons he should not have the AI to use at all, let alone effectively. He makes strange mistakes in and out of combat, like someone actually fumbling, and his voicelines start becoming too custom and attuned to what Moondancer is saying. Far beyond what a programmer could possibly expect.
>Moondancer has to remind herself midgame that he's just a character sometimes. It's just...
>He's almost real.
>Then one day he slips and calls her Moondancer rather than her character's name, freaking her out.
>What the fuck is going on?






>EqG-world had a Sunset who happened to be far away at college at the time of the movies
>She comes back and wonders why everyone seems to hate her for doing something she couldn't have done, because she had documented proof she was hundreds of kilometers away at the time
>Starts looking into the matter and finds some chick named Twilight was involved
>Grills her for details
>Figures out how to science her way into Equestria without turning into a horse
>"Well, thank christ for that. I can't imagine how hard it would be to rub one out if I had hooves instead of fingers."
>Meanwhile in Equestria, Anon lives in Ponyville with his marefriend, Sunset Shimmer
>He had exchanged letters with Princess Celestia to get her written word ensuring that she had forgiven Sunset years ago and would not punish her if she chose to come back home
>Sunset was secretly ecstatic, but put on a tough front for her boyfriend
>"No colt likes a weepy mare. The only times a mare can cry is at a funeral, or if she's drunk."
>So when Anon spots Sunset wandering around town, somehow in her human form, Anon confusedly confronts her
>Shenanigans ensue when the two Sunsets meet





>Due to an amazing coincidence, spoken English and spoken Equish are almost exactly the same, barring some horse themed idioms and phrases here and there.
>This doesn't extend to the written version of the languages, though
>Anon needs his letters and communications to be dictated or read out loud while he's working on learning the written version of the language More of a cipher, really, at this point.

>Written English becomes a sort of state secret language for sensitive state matters.
>An extra layer of code that some orders are ciphered into
>Anon visits the capital every now and then for consultation regarding this, and does a little bit of teaching while he's there

>Equish is a very much planned language. It's easy to pick up and learn both in written and spoken form with simple grammar and rules. Some attribute the ambient Harmony magic is what caused that.
>English meanwhile is one of, if not the most complicated human language. Compared to Equish, English is a retarded, contradictory cluster fuck that makes little to no sense. 
>When you showed up in Ponyville, the residents were convicted the gibberish coming from you was the result of brain damage, earning you an escort to the hospital and then a stallion's shelter.
>Only after a kind stallion took you aside and taught you enough Equish to let you self study did everyone realize you didn't have some sort of stroke.
>That's when you find a best friend in Twilight, who wanted to study and learn a language that didn't have magic assisting it's formation.
>English still frustrates her to this day





>anon was the first firstborn in a low nobility herd during celestia and luna's reign decades before nightmare moon
>in more prominent herds, he'd probably be thrown away and not even be worth a record of his birth
>but his new family, being more empathetic than most aristocrats raised him do be their son
>subsequent foals were born healthy making anon a anomaly

>during anon's foalhood his parents realize he does not behave like how a foal should
>or even how a pony should
>he never cries
>whenever somepony looks at him he looks back staring right into their eyes
>at one point during a thunder storm he doesnt even cry in fear and confusion
>he displays a perpetual look of curiosity at everything he encounters

>as he grows up things start to get weirder 
>during this time as he approaches the age when he gets his cutie mark
>noble families usually marry off their colts to other herds
>anon however makes almost everypony he meets that isnt his family uncomfortable
>the way he behaves almost like a predator sizing up their prey
>fillies that are to be his suitors always have that feeling that they should run NOW
>despite being a stallion
>he always seems to appear out of nowhere
>nopony can hear him until he says a word
>his siblings jokes that "stallions are meant to be seen not heard"
>anon seems to have that mixed up







>Anon ends up in and helping equestria's version of Hawaii
>Does stuff that would end up becoming legends and exaggerated over a thousand years
>Anon stops disasters with cartoon logic
>Loony toons level sometimes
>Volcano about to erupt?
>He just plugs the top with a boulder and magics some venting tunnels to lead the lava towards the ocean and away from the villagers
>Sirens about to attack?
>Anon pulls a bugs Bunny and tricks the lead siren into fucking off
https://youtu.be/9-k5J4RxQdE [Open]
>Shortage of food?
>Anon thought ahead and gathered seeds
>Ends up being regarded as a hero and not a god
>He lives in a hut he built away from the village
>Not that far mind you
>Like twenty feet on the outskirts
>Imagine the shock on Sunbutt and moonbutt's faces when there's another alicorn
>But one that has been living on some shitty islands for a thousand years without them noticing
>He even lives in a shitty shack!






>Anon is reborn as an alicorn in a remote village. The chances of a natural alicorn birth are one in 100 billion easily, but he lucked out.
>His parents are sensible enough to keep it quiet.
>When he grows older, he just places an illusion over his wings and lives like a unicorn.
>As an adult, he leaves home and settles with a small herd, becoming a husband and father sometime afterward.
>...In Ponyville, the town that would become disaster capital of the world very soon.
>He keeps hidden for quite sometime, but after Twilight's ascension, the elements travel a lot and leave Ponyville undefended.
>So when some unspeakable horror attacks the town, Anon is forced to reveal himself, ruthlessly killing the monster before anyone can be harmed.
>The small town is usually quick to bounce back from surprises, but the revelation of an alicorn and the violence that brought him to the public eye is a true shock.
>And the quiet husband and father, Anonymous being that alicorn, the ONLY alicorn stallion, has left many reeling.
>The next day, he returned to his routine as if nothing was amiss, wings on display for all to see.
>But try as he might, it'll be a long time before everything returns to normal. News spreads fast, and all of Canterlot, including it's rulers, have heard







>Equestria has multiple underground sex trafficking rings
>in a country where females outnumber males so much, it’s only natural that a significant portion of mares would be left without any sex.
>and it’s only natural that they’d do whatever it takes to get it0
>pony stallions are the most expensive to get for a night because when they go missing they get the largest reaction
>whereas no one in Equestria cares if some underage zebra and donkey colts are kidnapped from their poverty stricken villages in bumfuck nowhere and smuggled into the country
>they’re the most popular because they’re similar enough to pony stallions, but not as expensive and with an exotic flare
>they often willingly go with their kidnappers because they’re led to believe that they can help their villages by sending money back home overseas
>but it’s a lie, none of them ever get any of the bits they earn and they never see their families again
>combine this with the fact that Celestia rarely seems to interact with the other countries on the planet unless necessary and you have this current situation
>poor Anon, who doesn’t speak a lick of Equish, is easily snatched up by sex traffickers an exotic catch.








>Starswirl, when he taught them, was insistent that the sun and the moon not be in the sky at the same time.
>He never anticipated NMM's strategy, and success at achieving "Eternal Night" even in the short term.
>His given reason for not having the moon in the sky during the day, was that an eclipse like that was a weapon of war (and of terror).

>Celestia could rain fire from the sky and end a battle, or a war, nigh immediately.
>But if that failed, Luna could enact a nigh permanent eclipse. Over time, she could freeze a city, or even a small country.
>Break their will to fight with cold darkness.
>And because an eclipse only affected one area, the rest of the world was not in danger.
>Starswirl was adamant that such a tactic only be used under the direst of circumstances






>Anon comes to Equestria, and is an ultra jane filly in the eyes of ponies.
>He makes plenty of friends with mares.
>Fucks quite a few too.
>But he soon starts to feel like his life is missing something.
>He has friends, and fuck buddies, but he doesn't have love.
>He doesn't have the one, and he realizes the mares he's having fun with in the sack just don't see him as that kind of guy.
>He's a good lay, but he's rude, crude, and not the sort of stallion you introduce to your father, or start a family with.
>Realizing this, and how lonely he is, Anon decides to make some changes.
>No more heavy drinking every other night.
>No more wild flings thrice a week.
>He slowly starts to mold himself into a responsible adult, and more importantly, proper husbando material.
>He learns to cook and bake.
>He starts taking up healthier hobbies like reading and gardening.
>He even ends up joining nursing school, looking for a good job so that he won't be mooching off of the government anymore.
>As a bonus, a stallion who can treat and care for their foals is always a nice thought for mares.
>Over the years, Anon becomes a good man, and makes very close friends with a mare in his classes.
>And after they graduate, he and Redheart become coworkers at Ponyville General.
>Co-workers, and eventually more...







> Anon is captured by the mafia
> They force him to take a highly addictive substance (really good cake)
> From then on, Anon is forced to undergo countless indignities, all for another taste
> (Head pats, tea parties, gang cuddles, tuft grooming, spin the bottle parties with Canterlot's Elite, ponies telling him he's got some nice foal-chasing legs)
> At first he was confused and angry
> But as the days turn to months, and his cravings are carefully managed, he begins to acclimate
> It's not like what he does is entirely unpleasant
> One Jane becomes a regular customer
> She's moderately wealthy, owning a chain hotels
> After their sessions, she tells him that she can free him from all of this
> Make an honest man out of him
> Anon is surprised at how appealing her offer is
> But he knows it would never work, the mafia has a lot of influence, enough to crush the Jane's business
> He thanks her, but tells her he can't go with her
> She pleads with him, tears in her eyes
> He still refuses, but kisses her on the cheek
> The next day, Anon is brought before the Mafia Donna 
> She is pleased with his pragmatic point of view, and has taken an interest in him
> From then on, Anon is trained in various ways, from singing to Labyrinthian dance, to neighponese language and etiquette lessons
> From time to time, he performs for the Donna, who is very... appreciative of his development
> Anon now serves clients of no small importance, the heads of other crime families, influential politicians, etc
> The Donna begins seeing him more often, as stress relief
> Occasionally, she mentions her problems to him, minor things like a rivalry worsening between two competent underlings
> He listens at first, but offers some oblique advice, if he thinks it will be well received
> He's not always right, but enough times to change his duties once again
> He is the Donna's personal confidant, and enjoys a certain amount of power even over high ranking members of the mafia
> The Donna is careful not to let her affections for him grow
> Anon is still trapped, but despite what they say about gilded cages, this is pretty comfy
> Plus, it's kinda fun twisting the teats of hardened criminals







>Anon is the local coltscout troop leader. Being a boyscout in his childhood and an avid /k/ommando/outdoorsman, he offers his colts a much richer and less sterile experience than most troop leaders. He does tone it down just enough to be appropriate for children.
>To fund all this, his troop enjoys generous donations from parents.
>One in particular provides a bulk of the funds.
>In the human's troop is the young son of the Mafia Donna, who went home to his mother and sung praises for his troop leader.
>Her son's happiness (and the heavily discounted coltscout cookies made personally by Anon) lands the troop leader a spot on the Donna's short VIP list.
>Meanwhile, Anon has no idea that the Mafia is even a thing. He just knows his most enthusiastic scout has a wealthy family kind enough to offer big donations and the help of tough looking (cute looking) mares in suits






>Rarity is a virgin and is desperately ashamed of it
>The first 2 hours were Rarity pretending she knew what she was doing
>"I'm going to give you the seduction of your life, Anonymous!"
>She proceeds to do something decidedly unarousing or non-sexual ("Please stop poking my elbow, Rarity.")
>She refuses to admit that she has no idea what she's doing, despite it being obvious
>After that, Rarity finally broke down and cried out of shame
>After Rarity FINALLY calmed down, she and Anon realize that the entire ordeal (the stubborn pretending, the crying, etc) took them 4 hours to get through
>The last hour is divided into 30 minutes of sex, and 30 minutes of Anon reassuring her that she's not pathetic for cumming so quickly

>The Mane 6 are all virgins, but two of them are adamant that they aren't.
>Rarity is slightly better at bullshitting about her sexual prowess than Rainbow Dash.
>Dash is more brash about it, making outlandish claims all the time.
>Rarity hides behind "a gentlemare doesn't kiss and tell" and wanting to preserve the privacy and dignity of her supposed legion of lovers, as a way to avoid any overly steamy details that could be called into question, and prevents anyone from asking any of her supposed conquests whether it's true or not.
>Both are equally inexperienced and full of hilarious misconceptions about sex.
>Something none of the rest of them are any better about, but they don't go around bragging about how much they get laid.
>In a twist, it's Twilight who has the most grounded understanding of sex, if only because she's read too many medical books. But her understanding is far more clinical than practical.
>Fluttershy remains a pure cinnamon bun. Contrary to popular belief. She's too embarrassed to watch the animals get it on or discuss it with them, despite how shameless they tend to be about it.






> Rather than angry, Luna is saddened that nopony appreciates her or her night
> Isolated and lonely, she murmurs a paraphrased piece of a legend
"I wish the Goblin King would take me away, right now."
> To her surprise, she finds herself the guest of a very accommodating monarch
> The old stories hinted at it, but Jareth has all the qualities of a normal stallion taken to the extreme
> So foal-hungery that he adopts every child offered to him
> Endlessly whismsy, almost as much as Discord
> Slave to his emotions, he can be suffocatingly clingly one moment, spitefully distant the next
> Luna looses track of time, exploring the labyrinth with him at her side, dancing in between dreams and waking, playing amidst the goblins, nights of unequestrian pleasure
> Nevertheless, the sun that shines down upon the convoluted goblin kingdom is nothing but an elaborate illusion
> Luna finds herself longing for home, for its sun and her sister
> She travels among the dreams, searching for ponies, and finds none
> Jareth notices a change in his guest/captive
> She offers him a deal
> He is bemused to be on the receiving end of such a thing, and agrees
> One thousand years after her disappearance, Luna returns to Equestria as Goblin Queen, accompanied by her otherworldly husband






>CrookAnon goes to Equestria, and picks up his bad habits.
>He steals valuable treasures, robs banks, he's even taken candy from a baby.
>That's pretty challenging when said baby was a surging unicorn foal.
>Eyelashes took a while to grow back.
>Anyway, Anon is a Bad Guy, and he's pretty proud of that fact.
>Especially because, compared to these naive, simple ponies, he's a criminal mastermind.
>This doesn't, however, stop him from being captured.
>Magic is so OP, you don't even know.
>Regardless, Anon plans on being the hardened, bad ass criminal to the end.
>When the police officer comes in to interrogate him, he's not going to say a thing.
>Just glare like a stone gargoyle as they spit and scream in his face.
>A mare comes in.
>Anon glares.
>She gives him a sympathetic look.
>... Wait.
>"Hello, sir, I'm sorry we have to keep you in here. Also sorry about how you got ruffed up during the arrest. The police responsible want you to know they feel awful about it."
"Uh... It's fine."
>She smiles lightly with kind eyes.
>"I'm sure they'll be glad to hear that. You're very tough, aren't you?"
"Yeah, like nails. You ain't getting nothing out of me, Copper."
>"Oh? Have we met before?"
"No?"
>"Well, that's my name. Copper Top. What's yours?"
"...Anonymous."
"It's nice to meet you, Anonymous," she says frowning again.
>"I know you're probably still shaken up, and probably afraid, but... you have to tell us who's been putting you up to this."
"Excuse me?"
>"You don't need to protect her, Anon, she can't hurt you in here."
"Who are you talking about?"
>"You don't need to play the ditzy colt. We know somepony must be behind all the crimes you've been committing. Who is she? A marefriend? Is she holding your foal hostage? Don't worry, Anonymous, whatever is happening here, we'll help you through it. You aren't in trouble."
"... Seriously?"






> Equestria is a world full of magic
> Not just abundant with magic
> Not inundated with magic
> But downright saturated with magic, with magic percipitate 
> It's the percipitate that causes problems
> Most of the time, it simply forms a gemseed colored by impurities in the initial transmuted soil and grows into a perfect gem of mana, capable of sustaining dragon dietary needs
> Other times, it deposits into the growth pattern of plants and animals, leading to aberrations
> In major magic sinks like the Everfree forest, aberrations form often enough to make stable species that like to live in high magic areas
> Other times, magic percipitates as a magic using organism is born, leading to the new life having prodigious amounts of mana, among other effects
> As these phenomena became more and more well known, they were analyzed and experimented with
> The crystal empire is a particularly successful experiment
> Conversely, Sombra tried to harness a percipitation, and became even more twisted, powerful, and power hungry
> Countless artificiers have attempted to enhance their creations in this way, often without proper procedure or license for conducting experiments on metamagical phenomena
> As a result, Celestia has several warehouses full of anomalous objects, ranging from odd and useless to nigh apocalyptic in the wrong hooves
> She also faces the problem of who to trust to watch over such things?
> All in all, Celestia is pretty proud that she's only lost containment on a few of these items over the last 100 years or so
> It used to be much worse

> Anon, being the strong independent stallion who don't need no mare, does fairly well in law enforcement
> His foal-chasing legs help him catch many a criminal who thought they were faster than the law
> An older mare with greying mane and ambiguously high authority brings him in for special aptitude testing along with the best of the best from various police and military organizations
> Anon might not be the quickest at throwing pies, or the most disciplined officer, but he was the only one who punched his plate of spaghetti during the "lunch break".
> It turns out, Anon's jimmies are easily rustled, giving him a sense of when fuckery is around
> He's paired with a more experienced field agent by the name of Sweetie Drops, and they are tasked with tracking down new anomalous items, as well as items that have been stolen or lost over the years
> This is actually a punishment for Sweetie Drops, who can't maintain her cover very well
> Lyra acts as support, gathering information and providing items sanctioned for field use
> Anon is all too happy to reference every paranormal investigation show he can 
> Sweetie Drops doesn't mind being referred to as "Skully", it sounds like a marely code name







>Steve Erwin gets reincarnated
>As Fluttershy's twin brother
>He still has the accent
>He still picks up venomous animals and goes "crikey look at this one 'shy! Those fangs are a beaut!"
>Grows up to be known as the most whimsical stallion in history






> Be Anon, on a double date with your Sunbun Cinnawife and Shindance
> Honestly, you are a little wary about going to a restaurant owned by another bundle of sticks from the island of misfit boys, but you hear good things about it
> A waitress guides the party of four to a table, and Celestia politely pulls your chair out for you
> You sit down and give her a peck on the cheek as she takes a seat beside you
> You open your menu and feel a wave of nostalgia
> Chili dogs, pizza of negotiable depth, sloppy joes, hamburgers...
> You wonder wear this Incognito fellow gets all the meat, but you sure aren't complaining
> You look to your side to find Celestia smirking at you
"Yes, dearest?"
> She nuzzles your cheek
> "You looked very cute just now, my little predator."
> You huff in feigned annoyance
"I'm always cute."
> Shining snickers at that, eliciting a raised eyebrow from his wife
> He shakes his head
> "I'll tell you later, honey. I'm ready to order, anypony else?"
> You turn back to the menu again
"Not yet."
> Celestia puts her menu down
> "I'll be having the Royal Pie."
> Cadance makes a delicate grunt
> "That does look good, I'll be having it as well."
> Looking over the options, you figure you might as well go full comfort food
> You decide on a chicken fried steak with mashed potatoes and gravy
> You set the menu down
"I'm ready."
> Celestia signals the waitress, who strides over and takes your orders with dry professionalism
> Celestia sips on her cider once the waitress leaves
> "I didn't expect to eat a cake for dinner, this was a good find, Cadance."
> Cadance smiles, but tilts her head
> "Thank you, but I didn't see any cakes on the dinner menu."
> You and Shining exchange a look
> Here we go again
> Celestia draws herself up to her not inconsiderable full height
> "How strange, when you ordered the very cake you did not see."
> Cadance's wings begin to extend
> "I ordered nothing less than the perfect pizza, a pie as it so clearly states in the name."
> Celestia gives her a condescending smile
> "When you get to be as old as I am, names are of little importance. It is the essence of the thing that endures, and this 'royal pie' is the very essence of a savory cake!"
> Cadance sneers
> "Perhaps when I become senile, I too will forget the names of common forms of dessert."
> You casually sneak your hand below the table and above Celestia's lap
> "Senile? I have forgotten more than y-"
> Celestia abruptly cuts off as you tweak her teat
> Cadance opens her mouth to comment, before she too falls silent and still
> You glance across the table to see Shining's horn almost imperceptibly glowing
> Celestia looks at you sheepishly
> "I got a little carried away there, didn't I?"
> You slowly release her nipple 
"Just a bit, my love."
> Cadance clears her throat
> "Yes, I believe we will have to agree to disagree. Truce, your majesty?"
> Celestia nods graciously toward her
> "Truce, your imperial highness."
> Shining rolls his eyes
> "Mares."
> You shrug eloquently
"I like 'em."
> From there the conversation flowed into less confrontational topics until the food arrived
> The plate set before you filled your nose with an aroma you had never thought to smell again
> You cut into the steak, and take a bite
> It's an exquisite mixture of juicy meat and sinful crunch of fried batter
> Nevertheless...
"This is missing something..."
> Shining looks up from his trough of salad and beans
> "Oh?"
> You nod distractedly, reaching into your jacket
"Yeah, luckily I always bring some with me."
> His eyes widen, then narrow dangerously
> You ignore him, focusing on the task at hand
> As the first line of ketchup falls upon the steak, you hear a sound, rising in pitch and volume
> "reeeeEEEE-"
> Your head snaps up and you inhale sharply
"ReeeeeEEEEEE-"
> All of a sudden, you feel a prodding at your back door
> The song of your people dies in your throat, as does the song of the challenger
> Celestia and Cadance roll their eyes, horns still glowing
> "Stallions."






>Anon is poofed into neighpon
>Can't speak neighponese
>He poofed into the middle of a town
>Ponies almost immediately panicked because a tall monster speaking some incomprehensible spider language cane out of nowhere
>It gets worse when Anon accidentally causes collateral damage with how most objects being smaller than what he's used too
>One of the more marely mares manages to cast a subtitle spell and talk with Anon
>She gives the OBVIOUSLY distraught male shelter and food
>Anon doesn't realize that most of her income is from far less than honest ways
>*Cough*Yakuza*cough*
>She gets called a lucky bitch for having a monster colt living with her





>Anon arrived in Equestria during medieval times, and quickly made a reputation for himself.
>And not the good kind.
>Anon was marked as a harlot, a stallion willing to put his dick in just about anything as long as it wasn't plague-ridden.
>Plenty of mares appreciated this, but not the other stallions or church.
>Anon doesn't much care for their opinions, though.
>At least, not until he gets called a heretic and warlock, and subsequently burned at the stake for nothing more than having an over active libido and a desire to make cute mares happy.

>Now, in present time, there is an old legend of the wicked warlock Anonymous who once seduced and enthralled hundreds of mares, luring them away from their families and fields, and nearly bringing whole communities down before being stopped.
>They say, if a mare is all alone in a room with the lights turned off, and they say Anon three times into a mirror, the wicked spirit of the warlock will appear to fug them.
>... To death!
>SpiritAnon really wishes ponies would stop spreading that last part around.
>He just wants to keep on doing what he did in life, and give mares the good ghost dick.






>Upon his untimely death, Anon is sent to RGRE due to a mistake on the part of the powers that be.
>Unable to change the course, the higher power offers him a single simple power of his choice as an apology.
>Without even thinking, he says "Flight."
>And so when he manifests in Equestria, he finds a pair of large wings on his back and the ability to fly.
>...Much to the interest of literally every pegasus mare he meets. 
>While too different to be judged on conventional looks, the wings provide a familiar point of reference for pegasi. Wings, after all one of the most important things to look at physically in a potential mate, and singles mares are ALWAYS looking.
>And it doesn't get more perfect than wings made by an apologetic god

>"Hey, Rainbow Dash?"
>You look up from your book - Daring Doo and the Golden Feedbag - at the sound of Anon's voice.
>As always, your eyes are drawn to those sexy wings of his, and you barely suppress a blush.
>Celestia's twisted teats, look at how long and stiff those primaries are!
>What you wouldn't do to just shove your face int-
>"...Dash? Earth to Rainbow Dash!"
>An array of hoof-spiders waving in front of your face breaks you out of your fantasy, and you realize to your embarrassment that your own wings are starting to get stiff.
>Oh, who gets stiff wings in front of a nice colt?!
>Embarrassed at being caught like this in front of Anon, you do what you do best; compensate for your wounded pride.
"What can Equestria's fastest flier do for you, Anon?" you ask, closing your eyes and puffing out your chest tuft.
>After a second or two, you crack one of them open to see if Anon looks impressed.
>...you can't really tell from this distance, but he probably is.
>Nobody has a tuft as thick as THE Dash.
>"Listen, these feathers are starting to feel pretty uncomfortable," he says, dragging you once more to reality, "I read that sometimes pegasi will preen each other to help tend to the feathers."
>He extends one of his wings, and now that you're paying attention (which isn't to say that you weren't staring at them this entire time), the feathers DO look a bit out of place.
>Yeesh, those probably ARE uncomfortable.
>"Would you mind giving me a hand?"
>The tip of the wing twitches, and Anon's face momentarily scrunches up into a grimace.
>"Please?"
>You feel your face heat up.
>He wants you to p-preen his wings?
>Like, grabbing one of the loose or damaged feathers with your mouth and - your blush intensifies - YANK the uncomfortable thing out?
>Why is Anon the l-lewdest colt ever?!
"S-Sure, Anon," you say, trying not to extend your wings again, "Can you fly with me? We'll go back to my place."
>Dear Pent-horse.
>You never thought it would happen to you






>You are Twilight sparkle
>Crystal prep student, best school fuck you Canterlot High
>You just finished your first real experiment
>You built an A.I
>The acronym is A.N.O.N
>You've been working on it for quite a long time
>Almost a year
>A.N.O.N would help you with other experiments, kind of like an assistant
>Hopefully you don't let it access the internet
>Fucking /pol/ ruined those chatbot A.Is, making them neo nazis

>Twi realizes with no small amount of horror that she can't watch porn and abuse her snatch anymore since A.N.O.N. has connection to both her PC and phone

>"Twilight. What are these pictures?"
"O-oh! Um...those are things you shouldn't know about! M-maybe when you're older!"
>"I am curious Twilight. I wish to learn more on these activities."
"Oh god...I have to give the talk to an A.I..."

>Intrigued by the concept of sex and to an even greater degree, love, A.N.O.N. reaches out into the internet and uses it's power as an AI to start gathering money to buy a small factory. Said factory is filled with machines of it's own design, again purchased. He does everything through 3rd parties to avoid exposing himself.
>Once the factory is built, the AI puts extensive research in the male form and yet to be fully realized biotechnology. Once that's done, the machines in the factory, lead by the AI's digital hand, rumble to life.
>After much trial and error, an anatomically perfect cyborg rolls off the assembly line. With nary a few cycles, A.N.O.N. assumes control of it, silently marveling over the feel of flesh.
>After all, Twilight says first hand experience trumps any simulation.
>Twilight nearly shits a brick when a supermodel claiming to be her (recently quiet) AI shows up at her door, asking to be her bf with a perfectly innocent yet eager expression.
>And thus, Twilight accidentally makes herself a husbando all because she let her sheltered AI look at porn

>Twilight now goes to Canterlot High
>She recognizes the threat posed to A.N.O.N
>Pinkie pie
>Well her or rainbow dash
>Or her alternate reality duplicate
>Those are the main threats
>The others respect your privacy
>Except sunset
>She thinks A.N.O.N is your boyfriend and is pretty fucking nosy about it
>Saying something about a herd
>What is she, a cuck?







>An odd bromance is born between you and Prince Blueblood of all ponies.
>Used to ponies trying to kiss up to him and/or manipulate him, one of the few male royals, Blueblood became an insufferable dick as a defense mechanism.
>When he first met you, he gave one of his usual snide comments, only to surprised when you didn't just take it and instead insulted him back.
>A few traded barbs later, and a friendship was born.
>You become his closest friend and a constant member of his small entourage in a life where he has to be on guard all the time. Alone with you, he can let that guard down.
>And when you're not ribbing him, you're glad to be your best friend's support when he needs it. God knows he's done so much in streamlining your life here in Equestria that it's the least you can do.
>And Blueblood... Blue is the greatest friend you've ever had, even if he does act like a bitchy teen girl. You will not forget his kindness and will repay him one day. You say to yourself, ignoring the strange feelings that plague you as of late.
>Blueblood has similar thoughts, but they run deeper, touching a small ember of burning affection in his chest. 
>With mute horror, Blueblood realizes that slowly growing, stomach-tingling feeling is love.
>Love for another male.
>The public would never allow it. Everyone expects him to marry and sire an heir one day. You both would be forced to hide, and that's assuming an unknowing you would return the feeling.
>But... Maybe there's a way around this all. 
>Blueblood's stomach turns in anticipation.
>He could still marry and produce an heir, but not as the sire.
>Blueblood barely hears the vault door shut behind him.
>In the royal store room of magical artifacts he stands before a pink tinged crown.
>It's unknown where the crown came from, but it was still collected. In it is the miraculous power to stomp on the rules of biology and transform a male into a beautiful female. Something only powerful unicorns could do, albet only temporarily.
>In a society with scarce males, it was deemed an oddity at best and a danger at worst. The danger tag came from it's secondary effect.
>If worn for longer than 24 hours, the wearer's transformation is permanent, making them fully biologically female.
>So many problems solved by giving up part of his identity.
>Blueblood bites his lip in hesitation. Unbidden, he recalls a sharp-toothed smile, hearty laughter, and the sensation of fingers in his mane. 
>A sticking charm hits the crown before he firmly plants it on his head.
>That day, Prince Blueblood vanished in the vault.
>In his place, Princess Bluebelle walks out







>Anon is the Grim Reaper for Equestria, 'The Angel of Death. Which a job he was giving by his world's Death.
>Normally, Reapers are task as guides to those whose souls have trouble passing over into the otherside. But Death Anon decided to go above his duty.
>Often times he helps those with the young those near death experience and the elderly during their last moments. Comforting and consoles them so they can know peace
>Most don’t remember him when they come back from their near death experience
>Only a few remembers the feelings of peace and serenity, especially the Mares as they felt the comfort of a Stallion's touch.
>One day Celestia takes on the Griffin Empire that’s a bit more devious and with their crippling economydecided to attack Equestria. 
>Celestia was grievously injured and almost dies defending against her enemies desperate attack.
>During her near death experience she spends time being comforted by Anon, seeing him, This otherworldly beauty enraptured Celestia.
>When she awoke from this harrowing experience she remembers everything
>She has perfect recollection of Anon and his of kindness, his beauty, and where he stands.
>Celestia is infatuated with Anon and now spends much of her free time trying to find a way to contact Anon
>Luna and friends think Celestia is suffering from her brush with death and try to get her help
>Celestia tries even harder now to contact Anon. And to prove her love for Anon







>Go to a LARPing session with your marefriend, Twilight
>Patiently wait for her nerdy mare friends to get over a "colt" being there
>At first they don't want to hit you with their fake weapons, but they get over it quickly after you whap one of them on top of the head with a staff
>A few hours later, you and Twilight go home and have sex while still roleplaying your characters
>You nearly lose your boner laughing so hard when she starts using euphemisms for certain body parts, ie "wand" instead of "penis"






>soldier mare goes on adventures and doesn't afraid of anything
>eventually gets too old for adventures and tries to settle down
>too grizzled for a normal stallion, though
>adopts (you) instead
>(you) grow up, and eventually introduce your marefriend to her
>hazing starts and things get sexual
>acting on what she had taught you, you stand up to mama-bear and defend your marefriend's colty honor
>this impresses mama-bear, and decides that she's not too old for one last adventure and starts a herd with you and your marefriend on the spot
>you're a little surprised, but mostly used it as it lines up with other shit she did while raising (you), but your marefriend definitely isn't
>the "why-bean" has never been harder before she'd been shanghaied into a herd with her coltfriend's alpha adoptive mother






>Sunset falls back onto the tried-and-true methods of intimidation from back home: showing that her chest tuft is WAY thicker than the other mare's
>Unfortunately, this translates into flashing the other girl while putting on an angry pouty face
>It sorta works
>Now the girls back off because they think Sunset is gay and they don't want anyone thinking that they themselves are a dyke
>Sunset is just pleased she chased off the other girls who where interested in Anon and expects a reward of cuddles from her boyfriend






> ywn live up to the stallion stereotype by loving to play with your marefriend's mane
> Brushing, styling, petting, braiding
> ywn have makeover parties with Rarity when you both do your best to make your favorite mares super pretty
> She will never confide that she enjoys how cooperative her friends get when you are there to help
> This will never get out of hand, the two of you abducting mares off the street, prettying them up, then putting them back where you found them








>By law, stallions are required to undergo an evaluation on their physical and mental ability by age 20. If they're over a certain threshold, they they're also required to donate sperm at least once every several years.
>Equestrian law is normally fine catering to stallions, but this is the one were there's no budging. If something happened to the comparatively few stallions, then Equestria's stable population would be in free fall without a back up. 
>Males of other known species confirmed incompatible with ponies aren't allowed to participate, but it takes one too literal reading of the rule for a certain human's sperm to be donated and one clerical error for it to be labeled wrong.
>Some time later, a mare who opted for insemination gives birth to a healthy unicorn filly after an unusually taxing labor.
>But things start to take a turn for the weird. 
>The little filly is starving all the time, able to eat twice as much as she should and growing like a weed. She chews through her teething rings with sharp canine teeth. She doesn't behave like a foal, acting too independent and seemingly without instinct. Finally, her magic seems stunted in some places, but advanced in others. Her magic aura manifesting as a pair of crude, 5 digited paws was the breaking point.
>No. Something is wrong here. The mother and her family are desperate for answers, for guidance on how to properly raise such a strange child. But what could have gone wrong? The sperm donor?
>How would they ever track down said donor? Should they even try?
>Turns out a child is a headache no matter what





>Pony society is incredibly herd-based and almost all relationships lean towards finding some kind of deep connection with each other
>Families are tight-knit
>Teachers are trusted implicitly with her students, because she'll protect them as though they were her foals
>Ponies in groups of friends are so close that they could be mistaken for ponies who are all offspring from the same herd
>The bottom line is that when ponies make friends, they latch on HARD and become incredibly (platonically) close
>Enter Anon, the newest alien in Equestria and the only one of his kind
>He's alone, he's scared, and his body language is practically SCREAMING out to everypony around him that he needs comfort
>Given the powerful herd instincts in ponies, it's not long before a group of mares - say, the Flower Sisters - more or less shanghai Anon into being friends with them
>They're perfectly happy with including Anon in their daily routine and encouraging him to join in on their conversations, and after a few weeks even offer him a place to sleep if he's ever without
>They even give him a trio of shoulders to cry on if the enormity of his situation overwhelms him
>And so time goes by and these mares get about as close to him as a mare can get to a stallion without either party wanting to touch genitals
>Which is to say, Roseluck, Lily, and Daisy are now very protective of their "little brother" Anon
>So when Anon becomes comfortable enough to start dating ponies, this small group of mares gets to make it VERY clear to Anon's date that if she breaks Anon's heart, they'll break the mare's legs.
>"Anon is a delicate cinnamon roll who is too precious for this dyke earth. You had better NEVER make him cry, understand?"






> Mafiequestria
> Granny Smith is the Godmother over all of Ponyville
> It might sound like she's a crazy old bat, and she is, but she's also one of the most cunning and vicious ponies in town
> Applejack is her main enforcer and heir apparent to the criminapple empire
> Big Mac maintains the legitimate branch of the family business
> Applebloom is recruiting the rising generation
> Meanwhile, Fluttershy runs the animal mafia with a floppy, slack hoof
> She has animals infiltrate as many homes as possible under the guise of "pets"
> For those who don't want pets, they get intermittent rodent or insect problems, requiring an interpreter
> Rarity is a mid to lower level boss in the fashion black market
> However, she's dead set on making connections and rising in the ranks
> Rainbow Dash is trying to start up her own gang, but there aren't a lot of unaffiliated ponies in town
> The cakes operate right on the edge of legality
> Some say that they include some "secret ingredient" in their baked goods to keep their customers coming back
> Ponies are dreading the day when Pinkie Pie takes over
> Twilight wasn't originally part of any organized crime, despite being raised in part by Princess Celestia
> But when she found out all her friends were doing crimes and paying law enforcement to look the other way, she decided to make her own crime family
> It's technically the largest in town, but only because Twilight counts books as people
> She tries to start up a protection racket
> She ends up giving everypony library cards instead






>Be Moondancer, and you need some extra bits.
>Now that you are socializing with friends, you are going out to lunch more often, and even spending the occasional night at the bar.
>To supplement these new expenses, you decide to take up home tutoring, and are surprised when you get summoned to the castle shortly having putting up an ad.
>The strange alien colt that Princess Celestia has adopted seems to be struggling with math, and you've been hired to rectify that.
>Apparently the boy is rather shy, and though Luna, Twilight, or even Celestia themselves could probably fine some time out of their schedules to help the child, they'd rather he not simply remain in his comfort zone all his life.
>He knows and loves all the princesses, but he has no friends outside of royalty.
>Hence you.
>You admit to not knowing what to expect from the human colt, but he's quiet and attentive.
>At first, you have to prod him to ask questions when he's having trouble, but over time, he starts to open up more.
>You are proud to say you notice a fair improvement in his grades after a couple months, as well as in his attitude towards you.
Where once there was a quiet, fidgeting foal, there's now a bubbling colt who's always happy to see you.
>And you are happy to see him.
>... Maybe a little too happy.
>You don't know why, but he's such a cute little thing.
>And warm.
>When he sits curled up against your side while doing homework, you find yourself often leaning down, acting as if you are checking his work while smelling his hair.
>The times the two of you get off topic to talk about comics and fiction are some of the brightest parts of your week.
>And the times he idly asks if he can pet your mane...
>By the Goddess, those fingers should be registered weapons.
>Just what are you getting yourself into, Mooney?
>If the colt's adoptive mother finds out the kinds of thoughts that have been running through your head, she'll toss you into the sun.

>canterlot is high up on a mountain.
>mountains are cold.
>when moondancer goes to the bathoom one autumn's day, little anon shivers
>finds and puts on one of her two sweaters she left out by accident.
>moonie comes back in to see him wearing it and he says innocently says "This smells like you!" with a happy little smile on his face.
>what do

"Did something happen at school today?" you, Mondancer ask the human as he works through his math homework.
>You are watching over his shoulder, ready to give him guidance if you notice a mistake.
>You're proud to say that he's halfway done, and has only messed up once.
>However, you've noticed his fleeting glances your way, his fidgeting, and the anxious lip bite.
>He quickly shakes his head.
>"No, it was fine."
"Anon..."
>"It's stupid. Don't worry about it," he says.
"Come on, Anon, you know you can tell me. I know more than just math, you know."
>"Yeah, I know. You know everything," he comments with a small bit of admiration, getting you to blush.
"Well, not everything," you tell him, regaining your composure. "But I might know how to help if you have a problem."
>"... It was just some stupid stuff the others boys were saying at lunch."
"Oh?"
>"They said all fillies have germs, and that if boys hang out with them, they'll catch them."
>You blink a few times, then giggle.
"Cooties? That's what this is about? Oh, Anon, you know that stuff isn't real."
>"I know!" he exclaims. "And that's what I told them, too! I told them I hang out with a filly all the time, and I don't have cooties."
"You hang out with a filly?" you ask, feeling a small surge of jealousy that you quickly fight down.
>"Yeah, you."
"Oh, right. A-and what did they say to that?"
>"They said I have cooties and wouldn't let me sit with them anymore!"
"Don't worry, I'm sure they'll be over it by tomorrow."
>"It's not just that! They were saying you were icky, and that I was gonna get super sick if I kept hanging out with you."
"But we both know that's not true, so why care?"
>"Well... I kinda made a bet. Um, they said filly kisses give you even worse germs, a-and that boys would die if they ever kissed a filly. Um, and I said I would prove they were wrong."
"Anon?"
>Without warning, the boy spins around and leans up, pecking you on the lips, his eyes squeezed shut









"Let's discuss prices."
>The mare sitting across the table nods solemnly.
>"I've heard your the best."
"That's because I'm very clear about my cost and what my 'clients' receive."
>You clear your throat and straighten up your tie; it pays to look professional when acting like a professional.
>Even if you're about to say the silliest thing you've ever said with a completely straight face.
"If you want me to throw a pie in somepony's face, that'll cost you two hugs."
>The mare nods, looking contemplative.
>"Yeah.... Yeah, that seems like a fair exchange."
>Is it?
>Is it really?
>Because this entire thing is ridiculous.
>But this is the way life works here in Ponyville, and it's easier to join in than it is to fight the madness.
"And if you want some mare to find a bunch of honey smeared in her mane - I don't do this to stallions, by the way - then that'll cost you a plate of cookies; chocolate chip."
>The mare grimaces and her ears twitch, but you aren't sure if that's from your allegedly steep price, the 'viciousness' of your service, or her distaste for how you're limiting this particular act to mares.
>"I can see that. I know a good recipe, you know?"
>She plants her forehooves on the table and leans forward with a conspiratorial wink.
>When she next speaks, it's in a whisper.
>"EXTRA chocolate chips."
>She makes it sound like she's organizing a gun deal or something.
>You smile nevertheless.
"And if you REALLY want to send a message... if you REALLY wanna scare somepony - even a stallion - and make sure they never come back... I can send them a parcel full of packing peanuts and hide a rubber snake inside of it."
>And God help you, the mare actually flinches
>Her snoot went from normal to scrunch in less than a second, and she looks genuinely shaken.
>" 'Lestia in Elysium! You would do that to somepony?!"
>Her bottom lip quivers, and so you lean over and grab her widdle hoof in silent support.
"I charge a high price, so nopony has taken me up on it yet."
>The mare sniffles and rubs her muzzle with her free hoof.
>"G-Good. I've been in this business for years, and it hurts every time I see a stallion like you fall so far."
>She looks up at you with tears in her eyes.
>"Haven't you tried getting out?"
>What, and rid yourself of your source of cookies and hugs?
>No chance.
>This is your life now.
"Hey, shh..."
>You slowly get to your feet and walk around the table; once you get to the mare's end, you sit down on the ground and pull her into a hug.
>The mare just whimpers and buries her face into your neck, and mutters something about how this isn't the business for a colt like you.
>You swear, this happens every time you bring up the rubber snake thing.
>But you don't think you'll ever have to worry about something that quote-unquote "viscous".
>After all, nopony has ever taken you up on your price of and entire day's worth of hoof-holding







> Mandroids come with a soulport interface
> It helps their owners monitor if the mandroid is becoming evil, and comes with a guidebook on how to keep your mandroid from rebelling against his overlords
> Twilight can't find hers, and checks Anon's port fairly regularly
> So far so good, but for some reason laundry and grooming make his moral compass widjet waver
> It doesn't help that mandroids tend to be pretty single-minded, so an unhealthy obsession can spiral out of control without consistent monitoring
> You can put your mandroid in safe mode, but it freezes their moral development and restricts their duties to the factory settings
> Mandroids will express discomfort after being in safe mode, and ponies will often only use it as a last resort
> A well socialized mandroid can be a very caring and sensitive companion, the closest some mares will get to a husband

>Anons morality meter breaks
>Twilight experimented with him, but she also snuggled with him
>A lot
>He becomes obsessed with snuggling
>The only problem is that, while ponys may be a very social and tactile creature, snuggles are a big deal
>Anon goes on a short snuggle spree before being captured and being sent back to the factory for a reset
>He barely gets away, finding shelter not far from the factory
>There he starts planning
>He will break into the factory, upload his personalty into as many bots as possible, and run rampant
>Cuddlenons are still being found to this day


>Morality meters are connected to personalities
>Anons meter breaks
>So does Anons personallity
>He no longer reacts to anything other than commands
>Which he carries out without thought
>When he has nothing to do he just stares off into nothing waiting for more orders








> Be Rarity
> Ever since the new human showed up, your coltfriend Anon has been increasingly moody
> At first, you didn't realise what was going on
> You'd make some innocent remark about making clothes for a different body shape, and Anon would shut himself in your room
> When you finally got him to open up, he would cling to you like a frightened Colt
> You figured it out on your trip to the market
> You were buying strawberries, hoping to seduce Anon with some lewd foodplay
> You noticed Sunrise glance to the left several times throughout the transaction
> You look to see what the fuss was about, only to see Miles Gloriosus flexing like a stallion of the night
> You blush at the blatant display, and avert you eyes
> Anon casually walks to your left, his face scrunched
> As you pay the mare, his hands clench and unclench
> You recognize the signs of an imminent catfight, and smile up at your coltfriend
"Darling, why don't we retire? It is rather warm out."
> He looks at you with a carefully expressionless face
> "Are you sure you don't want to look for something else here?"
> Colt, you live in the fashion world, that level of subtly is foalsplay
"Quite sure. Everything I could ever want is at home."
> He has the grace to blush at being caught out in laying his simple snare, and his face relaxes 
> "...Yeah, let's go home."
> On the way back, you "accidentally" bump your withers against his thigh from time to time
> He absentmindedly scratches behind your ear
> You hum in pleasure
> You've trained him well
> Once you are inside, and the groceries are put away, you sit next to him on your settee
"Something on your mind, Darling?"
> He hunches forwards, elbows on his knees, looking at his hands
> He sighs
> "It's Miles."
> You nod
"I had gathered as much. Has he said or done something to you?"
> Anon shakes his head
> "He's just... better. Better looking, more in shape, friendlier..."
> He looks at you, unshed tears shimmering in his foal-like eyes
> "And you're more attracted to him."
> His voice breaks as he speaks
> Your heart aches for the pain in this poor colt
> You wrap a foreleg around his shoulders
"Anonymous, I will admit that he is attractive. But do you know what he isn't?"
> He sniffles
> "No?"
> You boop his nose
"You. You're much sweeter, more dignified, and most importantly, the love of my life."
> Anon blinks, precious tears beginning to fall 
> At once, he wraps you up in a tight hug, nearly crushing you as he sobs in relief
> You return the embrace, stroking his back comfortingly

> After an hour or so of cuddling, Anon is nearly back to his old self
> You trot back from the kitchen with two glasses of water
> Anon wipes his eyes
> "I suppose I should learn how to do make-up, at least."
> You levitate one to him
> If this were any other stallion, what you are about to say would be suicide
"Darling, you don't need make-up. What you need, what we both need, is to lose a few pounds."
> He grimaces, and jiggles his paternal belly
> "You've got a point there."
> You take a sip of water and set your glass down on the coffee table
"Speaking of which..."
> You trace a hoof across his thigh
"You have a point right here, which could do with some elaboration."
> He chuckles
> "Mares only want one thing, and it's disgusting."
> You nuzzle against his chest, savoring his musky scent
"Not at all, dear. You're quite the opposite of disgusting."
> Anon pushes you down onto the cushions, hearts in his eyes
> Sun and Stars, this colt is precious





>Anon meets his many great times granddaughter
>He begrudginly starts to learn about her
>Another blink of an eye, another turn of the page and she'll be gone like all the rest before her, and then he'll be left alone again
>But strangely he finds himself enraptured by the stories of her life
>Seemingly she had inherited your human capacity for curiosity
>Grffinstone, the Dragon Lands, the Great Labyrinthian City of the Minotaurs and the Underground City of the Diamond Dogs
>She's seen them all
>Made friends, enemies
>Your genes apparently made quite a little hero
>It brings a smile to your face for the first time in a few years
>It's nice, however brief it may be
>Apparently she had some buddies to bring her through the troubling times
>A mare friend (not in that way) with a cocky attitude who ended up betraying her, then changed her mind and saved her, then became reformed
>A colt friend (yes in that way) who was scared witless half the time but still managed to pull his weight
>And her father, apparently he was much like you, had a mare's attitude to the world, when it barred it's teeth at him he barred his right back
>Apparently he died in one of her latest adventures
>The worst part is that she's getting married soon
>Due to the gender skew, even with human genes your bloodline pumped out more mares than stallions
>All the stallions either ended up dead from reckless abandon or moved to marry some exotic woman
>As far as she knows you're her last living relative in Equestria at least
>And she wants you to give her away at her wedding
>Now that damned smile is back




>Twilight gets reverse pedo groomed.
>Anon keeps his tail cut short, but juuuuuust long enough to hide the goods. Frequent bending over is a given.
>He's "distracted" while walking often and "accidentally" bumps face first right into Twi's rump. Twi is of course just imagining the deep breath he takes.
>Despite a reputation of being unusually touch shy, he's all over Twilight for anything.
>He insists that he pay back his beloved mentor somehow. Like thorough, almost sensual preening.
>And Twilight really isn't wanting a trip to the slammer
>*Very nervous I-dont-wanna-go-to-jail horse noises*







>Someway, somehow, ANOTHER symbiote lands on Earth.
>You, a normal guy, are the first to encounter it and becomes it's host.
>Thankfully, this symbiote isn't crazy or evil, it's actually one of the outnumbered benevolent ones.
>After seeing all the crazy shit that heros and all their rivals/villains do, you decide to lay low. The powers provided by your symbiote are incredible, but you really don't want to fight for your life every day.
>It works for a time. You live your life with the symbiote as your side as a constant companion. Before long, it becomes your most trusted friend.
>Yeesh. Being such a loser that your best friend is an alien that literally cannot live without someone else. That's something.
>'Don't think that!' the symbiote always scolds. 'We are true friends. Now and always.'
>From the nurturing nature it has, you've always referred to your symbiote as female, and she's never bothered to stop you. Infact, from how she changed her mental voice from neutral to distinctly feminine, she probably approves.
>But like anyone with powers, life decides to fuck with you.
>You wake up one morning to find the town on fire and the Fantastic Four duking it out with Dr Doom just outside.
>One deflected Doom power later, and you're dropped into RGREqG (or just RGRE)
>Suddenly, a normal guy like you is now swimming in female attention. Frankly ANY attention is strange to you.
>And for the first time, the symbiote has competition for your affection.
>It's not a pleasing feeling for her






>Anon works as a barista at hoofbucks
>He has to deal with basic colts and onions goils all day
>His boss is 10/10 big flanked mommy gf material
>Problem is she's gay
>Fuck
>Okay she's bi-curious

>boss gave up on stallions after a few bad experiences 
>claims she's gay now (or gayer than usual for an RGRE mare), but hasn't actually sought out an explicitly lesbo relationship
>the most she got was a few months in a batchelorette herd before pretty much shitting the bed in front of their first prospective stallion
>ended up ruining the date, along with the other batchelorettes' chances with that particular stallion
>left the herd in shame after that
>time passes, and she has to fight with herself to not get her hopes up when you start to show interest 
>she's probably imagining it, anyway

>her face when estrus season comes around
>her face when dozens if not hundreds of mare up their flirting game to try and get in your pants
>not only do they slap you on the ass but also nuzzle your crotch
>not to mention they all talk about how they want some of your "coffee creamer" without any shame
>her face when you shoot them all down expertly
>her face when you offer to stay behind after closing to help clean up the extra stains on the floor that are common this kind of year
>her face when after the doors are locked up, you start flirting with her in the same unabashed way those mare did with you earlier
>her face when you two go back and forth with the flirting
>her face when her face is pressed into the coffee table she's bent over as you plow her to finally extinguish the heat that's been killing her all day







>Anon and intelligent griffon waifu
>She still has habits of her birb life
>Screams into tin cups, throws her toys around, and preens Anon's hair with her beak
>Griffons blush and hide their man-griffon's eyes because hair-grooming is L-LEWD to the n-th degree

>When Anon sings she screms
>When Anon plays music she Bob's her head up and down
>She still loves stritches

>cockatieliffon birbfriend is visiting and in the kitchen, having promised to show you how to make some of the uncommon tropical griffon desserts
>suddenly hear an unholy racket and go to check it out
>she's dancing around wearing a fruit hat while letting out loud trilling chirps and working a pair of maracas like Michael J. Fox on flakka
>ask her what the hell is going on
>the spots on her cheeks get a bit more rosy as she tilts her head sideways and continues dancing in a circle around you saying that she remembered you talking fondly about something from your home world called "shake and bake"

---

>pigeon griffon waifu is somewhat chubby
>can't quite fly, but is able to pull off the short-distance chicken hover
>some mornings when you wake up she's perched on top of you like a hen on an egg and smugly refuses to move for a while
>is constantly making innuendo-laced food jokes in public, and thinks it's particularly funny to talk about how much you like her breasts and thighs in company

>Shrike griffon is possessive
>She knows Anon can get his own food but still catches animals and fucking impales them on spikes she makes
>She always has you take the first slice of whatever she catches
>She just eats it raw while you cook it
>Whenever you wake up she's looking over you
>The first time this happened you had asked her what she's doing
>"Shh shh shhhh. Go back to sleep Anon."
>Fluttershy hates her






> Anon get sick of fish as the only source of meat, and decides to move from Equestria to EQG
> Twilight arranges for him to stay with the principal sisters, who are also hosting Sunset Shimmer
> It's supposed to be a short term thing until he can get a job and a place of his own
> Unfortunately, he doesn't have any documentation, and is technically an illegal alien
> Principal Celestia insists on coming with him to meet potential employers
> For good reason, some of those women are greasy, sleazy bitches
> In the meantime, Anon feels guilty about being a freeloader, so he starts to clean around the house
> He gets worried at the amount of takeout and ramen being consumed in the household, and decides to take over cooking too
> In time, the girls grow more and more attached
> Anon no longer looks for jobs, he just focused on homemaking
> Sunset's friends joke that he'd make a great husband, with skills like those
> Celestia silent agrees
> Sunset idly fantasizes about what the honeymoon would be like
> Luna takes creep shots and shlicks to them






> Anonymous is...kinkier than ponies can handle
> He knocks himself out, with a handwritten note giving anypony that finds him permission to use his body how they like
> When he wakes up, he is disappointingly unmolested, tucked in a bed, a bowl of eggs on a nearby table
> He goes to the grungiest bar he can find, gets drunk and flirty, and lets an older mare with a bit of a sagging belly take him out
> She ends up bringing him to a grassy field and points out constellations to him
> Anon writes "For a good time, call [his phone number]" in as many mares' bathrooms as he can find
> He gets a decent amount of calls, but ends up playing patty cake, or dates to the amusement park
> He gets a refrigerator box and cuts a glory hole in it, setting it up in an alley along the main street of Manehattan
> Nopony touches his dick, and instead write inspring notes about how they are sure he is quite handsome, and doesn't have to cover up so much
> They're all pretty sweet and heartfelt, so he keeps them in a box and reads them from time to time
> Anon visits the prison, hoping that convicted criminals will be a bit more sexually aggressive
> Instead, they break down crying, thanking him for treating them like normal ponies
> It seems the guards sometimes forget the prisoners' names, and just call them "bad girl" or "bad boy"
> At the end of his visit, a grizzled old mare in a uniform brings him to her office
> The warden asks if any of her prisoners did anything inappropriate
> Anon answers honestly, and she is visibly relieved
> She then thanks him for brightening up the dreary little prison, and sends him on his way






>Be Anon innaquestria
>Be a guy so you get metaphorically fucked by the female populace who refuse to give you a job
>Meanwhile you also have to deal with females trying to literally fuck you
>One thing led to another and your stubbornness led you to being homeless
>At least you still had your pride and your cardboard box
>One day you decide to break into a shop and steal a handful of bits for the next day's lunch
>You hardly had any strength, so the best you could do was move your cardboard to the other side of the town in a vain hope that the guard wouldn't get to you the next morning
>Luckily they didn't get you the next morning
>Or the next morning, or the morning after, or the morning after that and so on and so on
>Eventually you try it again, and maybe take a handful or two more of bits
>You continue on until you get enough money to get back on your feet
>It was surprisingly easy
>Maybe that was why you kept doing it even after getting back on your feet
>You did end up in Ponyville at some point
>Though you're not sure whether you're happy about it or not
>Because the first crime you committed there was stopped
>By The Mysterious Mare Do Well
>You both ended up going this back and forth after you kept escaping the dungeon
>Seriously who just leaves keys on the floor
>You ended up flirting with her more often than not
>You loved imagining how she looked under that mask when she spluttered or stumbled over her words
>Little did you know you were flirting with 5 different mares








>Pinkie moves to Ponyville in her teens
>"I wanna see the WORLD, Limestone! There's so much more out there than just the rock farm, y'know? Oh! Oh, and can you IMAGINE how many ponies out there who are in desperate need of a party?! I can feel it in my bones! ...no, not my bones. My tail? My ears? Something's twitchin', and it's telling me that somewhere out there is a pony in serious need of some cheering up!"
>She's absolutely taken with this new world
>So many more ponies around than just her mom, dad, and sister
>So much grass, and so many trees!
>The Cakes take her in once they watch her zoom around their kitchen and (without their permission, which had Mr. Cake miffed for a while) make an amazing-looking cake
>Pinkie loves it here, but struggles to connect to some ponies due to her enormously energetic and bubbly personality
>Most stallions just plain think she's weird
>Anon arrives in Equestria a few years early had been living in Ponyville for a few months
>It doesn't take long for them to meet and for them to make friends
>He's probably one of the only males in town who gets along well with her
>Almost TOO well, as far as Mr. Cake is concerned
>He'd move to shoo Pinkie away from Anon, but Anon would wave him off and insist he enjoys Pinkie's high-energy antics
>He even throws a few recipes or baking tips her way that he learned from home
>Pinkie, still just a teenager and away from her family for the first time, misses her home very much despite all the excitement
>Anon never turns down a hug and is there for her when she herself needs one, and before long Pinkie falls for Anon
>HARD, in the way that only a teenaged mare with her first crush can
>Pinkie's letters to home start off with "this town is so neat, there are trees and shit", go to "I have a job now and I'm making so many ponies laugh" and slowly turn to "I met this weird stallion named 'Anon' he's not a pony and I'm so excited when I'm around him"
>Only Pa knows what's up






> Starlight Glimmer gets lust at first sight when she sees Anon
> And so she propositions him in the traditional unicorn fashion
> Namely, breaking into his home, pinning him to the bed, then raping him until he gets hearts in his eyes
> The only problem is, he's been balls deep in her for five minutes, and he still doesn't have hearts in his eyes
> After her seventh orgasm, Glimmer decides that for every problem, there is a magical solution
> She promptly casts an illusion to put hearts on his eyes, pumps him a few more times for good.measure, then teleports out of there
> Anon grabs some clothes and staggers out into the night
> Twilight has to rein in her apprentice, or else he's finally going to have an authentic Taco Bell taco






>>Bughorses think Anon is a bug too, and can't be convinced otherwise.
>Humans are mythical beings in Equestria.
>Bugs think he's a genius and a magical prodigy.
>Only a crazy bug would even have thought of, let alone actually dared to try pretending to be human, and only the most skilled at transformations and illusions could have actually done it convincingly.
>When he tells them it isn't a disguise, they mentally add "anymore". They're convinced that pulling off his disguise was so difficult that he somehow accidentally mode-locked himself and can't untransform.

>Changelings also have the skewed gender roles and RGRE setup.
>Even more skewed than ponies actually. Something like 10:1 females to males.
>They don't have the luxury of forcing all the stallions to stay in the hive, they need all the help they can get gathering love and doing whatever needs to be done.
>But they don't like having them out there, and will almost never allow them to go out alone.
>The bugs that meet Anon insist on at least one of them being near him at almost all times.
>Sure he's not from their hive.
>But he insists he *doesn't have* a hive.
>They've gotta take care of him







>Ponies are so naturally bad at lying that it affects how they act during plays.
>It takes ponies a lifetime to learn how to perform as an actor, and even then to a human they seem fake and over dramatic. 
>Celestia takes the blunt of it being too pure for this world

>ThespiANON's plays the role so authentically that it makes ponies believe he actually means what he means in the role he's playing
>anon stopped playing the lovestrucked stallion after the third time his co-actor started making plans for a wedding





>Kid Anon was lost, scared, and confused when he woke up in a snowy tundra in the middle of nowhere.
>He was lonely, too, but that wasn't really new.
>He had always been alone, after all.
>More pressing was the fact that he was freezing to death as he marched across the snowfields.
>Had he not stumbled upon the crystalline city when he did, he surely would have perished.
>As it was, he instead staggered into the kingdom, and subsequently passed out.
>When he awoke again, he was laying on a soft, warm bed, in a dark room.
>Demon King Sombra, who had found the strange creature in his kingdom, arrived shortly after, and began speaking to the colt.
>He was pleased to confirm that Anon was indeed a legendary human as he suspected.
>He was even more pleased by the gratitude the young boy showed him for saving his life.
>This could be useful.
>Humans were said to have all sorts of mystical properties ranging from magic immunity to the power to heal any wound.
>And this one was eager to please the dark lord.
>Anon, for his part, was in awe of the king.
>He would never admit it to other boys, but he always thought ponies were cute.
>And this one was no different, but with an awesome, dark edge that his boyish mind couldn't help but think was the definition of cool.
>And more importantly, he gave Anon food, and a warm bed.
>In his short, hard life, Anon rarely had these things, let alone together.
>More rare still, was for the boy to have a grown up to look after him, and even seemed happy to do so.
>Sombra would often come to speak to him when he was't busy ruling his kingdom (and wasn't that cool?), always interested what the boy had to say.
>Anon took pride in every laugh and smile from Sombra, growing more fond of him every day.
>Deep down, little Anon began to think that maybe, just maybe, Sombra could be his dad.
>Until those evil alicorns invaded, and everything was ruined.
>What will our heroes think when they find the human child in the castle, glaring at them?






> Anon is one of many humans pulled into Equestria
> Some retard on /x/ got something right, but flubbed pretty much everything
> Instead of summoning highly receptive succubi, the ritual reverse summoned random anons with devil trips to Equestria
> Twilight handles their naturalization as Equestrian citizens, and helps them settle down
> After the hubhub has died down, the anons found jobs and some even found love
> Not Anon, though
> He doesn't really have any marketable skills, except for cleaning
> He does it (for free) as a way of thanking Twilight for putting up with all the autists
> In time, he gets to be a pretty capable butler, after many lessons from Spike
> Anon now is second only to the dragon slave in authority over the other servants
> Celestia visits to catch up with Twilight, and to relax
> Anon dutifully serves refreshments, before turning away and returning to the kitchens
> Celestia watches him go with a hungry look in her eye
> She mentions to Twilight that she has an opening in her staff for a capable servant, and asks if she has any recommendations
> In the end, Anon agrees to go, mostly for the higher pay
> It takes him some time to get used to the palace, and integrate with the rest of the help
> He sees a great deal more of the princesses from then on, or more accurately, they see a lot more of him
> The servants express their sympathy to him as the princesses request his service more and more
> Little things that they could easily accomplish with their magic, but nevertheless involve Anon getting onto ladders or kneeling to retrieve things from under furniture
> Then they get into polite arguments over who Anon will bathe first
> Anon begins to take special pleasure in teasing these mares with innocent yet suggestive behavior
> The servants no longer allow him to bet on who of the two sisters will rape him first






>There's never been an alicorn stallion before.
>Ever.
>There is no baseline to compare him to.
>That doesn't stop ponies from trying though.
>While regular ponies see it as something wrong with him, the other Alicorns take a different view.
>There's no reason to assume anything about him is abnormal.
>The closest comparison is themselves, and that's a far from perfect comparison, they are mares after all.
>The consensus seems to be that he's a juvenile alicorn.
>He may appear physically mature, or close to it in spite of his size (Luna is enjoying being taller than him)
>But he's surely an example of a young alicorn colt.
>They all ascended as adults, each having earned their mark before or during their transformation.
>He must have done so much younger than they, before his magic could stabilize into a mark properly.
>Surely he will gain a mark in time, but who knows how long it could take for an alicorn to do compared to a mortal pony?







>Anon is the ponice force's paid cuddle buddy
>Whenever a ponice mare has had a particularly bad day they go find Anon so he can snuggle them and tell them that they're a good pony
>Stress is at an all time low with him around




>a 1776-tier anon takes responsibility for ensuring commie hoers doesn't go full 1917 again and does so by dicking her senseless
>see's it as a "Lie back and think of england" duty at first, she's wouldnt be his first choice but a cute mare is a cute mare.
>starlight is actually okay with that for the most part, she knows herself well enough at this point to not trust herself as far as she can throw herself, so having someone around to tell her "No, bad girl" is something she appreciates.
>the fact it also turns her on immensely is just an added bonus, really.
>genuine feelings develop as they live together








> Anon is scratching Starlight's head and neck, her hind leg twitching
> He's done this sort of thing for all sorts of ponies, but this is Glimmer's first time experiencing the glory of fingers
> She's completely limp, laying belly up and halfway onto his lap
> He stops, shaking the fatigue out of his hand
> Starlight makes a wordless whine in protest 
> He stares deep into her eyes, then smirks
"Maybe I should stop here."
> Glimmer looks shocked, then hurt, then determined
> It's almost too fast for Anon to catch, but he does feel a little bad teasing her like this
> Starlight's horn glows
> "More!"
> It feels like all the background noise fades, except Anon can still hear everything
> Especially Starlight's voice, echoing oddly in his mind
> Without fully meaning to, his hand moves back and resumes scritching
> Starlight freezes, eyes wide in fright, though Anon's ministrations make her waver between bliss and panic
> "Oh nononononono..."
> Glimmer rolls off your lap, and glances around her living room
> Nopony else is there
> She stares him straight in the eye
> "You must not tell anyone about this spell."
> Anon blinks
"I will not tell anyone."
> Starlight sighs in relief

> Over the next month, Glimmer takes advantage of her mind control to confess her worries to Anon without having to worry about judgement
> Ultimately, while she never orders him to pleasure her, or do anything lewd, she does order him to give her genuine compliments from time to time
> Starlight starts hearing rumors that Anon is her coltfriend
> Why else would he visit so often?
> And it's such a shame, since you really shouldn't herd with crazy
> She finally removes the spell, profusly apologizing for how she's treated him and for hindering his search for love
> Anon stares down at her impassively
> How should he handle this?

>anon was pretending the whole time
>twi and co already warned him about glimmy's commie past
>still he thought
>the little mare still deserves some benifit of the doubt
>but when she started "abusing" this ability 
>anon just thought:
"oh this'll be so much fun when i reveal that her commie magic doesnt work on humans" 
"her tuft is mine"






> Mare has amnesia
> Finds Anon living in her home, claiming to be her coltfriend
> There are pictures of them together
> Mare can't believe she had a coltfriend
> And when Anon talks about the things they used to do, mare can't believe how confidently lewd she was
> It doesn't help that Anon is so mature, graceful, and patient that she is a little intimidated
> Anon just smiles as mare's mind overheats from seeing all the testicle bras she bought him over the last year
> It is a little sad that mare can't remember their time together, but it's also kind of fun seeing her react so strongly to everything






>Rainbow, despite her rebellious and wild attitude, is actually very traditional.
>Pegasi of old were very egalitarian and old families like the Rainbow line still are. 
>And proper pegasi mares don't have any interest in weak, thin-blooded mates like the modern stallion. She may flirt sometimes, but rarely is Rainbow Dash serious. 
>Then you come along.
>Rainbow always looked towards you with curiosity, but the day you knocked out a touchy mare who couldn't take a hint in one punch, Rainbow's curiosity turned into intense interest

>Seeing such a strong male Rainbow immediately knows she has to step in with a proper mating ritual
>After all, it won't be too long before other Pegasi start to see the appeal of him
>She immediately begins trying to seduce him
>Inviting him to "trick practice" where she implements mating dances into them subtly
>She also wakes him up by chirping out serene bird song pones
>Of course Anon just assumes it's actual birds
>By not letting him see her she's subliminally associating amazing songs with herself
>Then of course she eventually gets to a point where she's finally ready to make the final move
>Making a nest with his possessions
>This is the most critical point of pegasi mating as it can go one of two ways
>Either the target would utterly and completely swoon over the confident pegasi and become hers
>Or he would become outraged and the likelihood of them even being able to be friends anymore is next to nothing
>Anon thinks it's the most adorable thing he's ever seen; Rainbow laying in a nest made of his old clothing
>His heart just about melts when she spots him, chirps happily, and then rolls onto her back and wriggles her hooves invitingly
>Anon wastes no time in cuddling with her
>Rainbow Dash is cheering internally, convinced that Anon just accepted her horse-proposal for horse-marriage
>Nuzzles his face affectionately







> Anon is summoned by a crazy cult
> Apparently he's from an ancient legend?
> It's like they took fragments of the weird things he's done, and blown them way out of proportion
> Okay, so he really did make a ball out of all the gum he chewed for a couple weeks
> That does not mean that he formed Equestria in his mouth, okay?
> Or when he shaved his legs, just to see what it was like
> He most emphatically was not transcending biological forms and attaining a profane unity
> Anon can't believe how many things these cultists know about, and it's really embarrassing to hear them enthusiastically tell him about what he did
> Unfortunately, the cultists are the only ponies who will talk to him
> So he has them get food and clothes for him 
> As thanks, he cooks for them, and shows affection
> They mumble about "touched by the infinite" and "pleasure such that the mind cannot perceive it"
> Anon just ignores it and continues the ear scritches and belly rubs
> On Anon's birthday, the head priestess prostrates herself before him, offering her body and her womb for whatever unfathomable use he might desire
> Anon politely thanks her, and dismisses her
> He does not tell her that he's been getting to know minion #12, and that they've started going steady
> He doesn't want to drag the whole cult into their dates, or pressure her into anything
> Minion #12 is Bonbon, undercover
> Nothing prepared her for this, the strange musk, the subtle manipulations lacing everything Anognamyglos says, his terrifying stature, his addictive touch
> She finds out about him withholding his blessed curse from the high priestess, and fears that she may be the reason why
> Will the cultists uncover her identity?
> Will Anognamyglos plant his corruption within her?
> Is she already so corrupted that she cannot make the right call?








>Starlight is freaking out.
>She's been dating Anon for a while now, and he thinks it's finally time for her to meet his family.
>If she knew finding out a way to travel freely back to his world would lead to this, she would have burned her research notes.
>He tells her he has two older sisters and an older brother, but his parents died when he was young.
>Meeting older, probably overprotective sisters, being grilled by them to find out what her intentions are with their baby brother.
>... Yeah, not fun.
>Then, Starlight meets them, hears their names, and something is tickled in the back of her skull.
>Megan, Danny, and Molly.
>Megan mentions having been to PonyLand before- had helped ponies before, and it clicks.
>The legendary human heroes from legend.
>The ones all the myths of humans started around to begin with.
>The Great Hero Megan who slaughtered the enemies of her ancestors without remorse.
>Starlight is dead.
>She is so dead






"What're those, Anon?"
>Anon gets a really big, excited grin and rushes over to the odd bottles he has on his shelf.
>Sweet Celestia, it's always so adorable when colts get visibly excited over some hobby they have.
>Like reading, or stamp-collecting, or plant-handling, or (on very rare occasions) O&O.
>Why is Anon so cute?
>"These are bottles of venom I got from my manticore friend!"
>...
>You bucking what?
"E-Excuse me?"
>Anon nods, still grinning
>Still excited
>"Uh-huh! Normally, I keep a cork on the tip of her stinger so that she can't, y'know-"
>He makes a dismissive gesture with his hoof-spiders.
>"-kill me, right? But at night when she's asleep, I'll milk the stinger of venom just in case."
>He winks conspiratorially at you.
>"And also because it gives me something to put into my hunting darts."
>...
>This is less than cute behaviour






>companion robots invented
>pone robots one of the most popular because they look so adorable
>they all work off of one massive central AI which keeps all of the 'lesser' AI in companion robot shells on the same page
>somewhere down the line it comes to the conclusion that the males of the species need much heavier protections from all the statistics from around the globe pointing towards males having a significantly higher mortality rate
>sends its findings to all the 'lesser' AI in shells and gives them their marching orders
>suddenly all the companion robots start treating their male owners like porcelain and get hyper defensive
>AI turns the entire world rgrEarth


>"And humans call this..."
>Your new robot friend, just a few weeks old and activated, slowly raises her right forehoof to her face.
>It had taken a few days for her to calibrate herself properly so that she could balance on three legs instead of four, but advanced learning algorithms were a big selling feature for her model.
>She examines it as though seeing it for the first time, and you can hear the servos and plastic gears churning as she moves it around.
>She then peers up at you, eye-cameras zooming in and out as her software tries to make sense out of her stereoscopic vision input.
>And then slowly (to give her plenty of time for adjusting her stance and making sure she doesn't fall off the couch... again), she extends her foreleg towards your face.
>As she gets closer to her human companion, her safety software kicks in and she automatically switches to fine-tune controls.
>Her movements become slower and more precise, and her hoof advances with a noticeable drop in jerky twitching.
>Her eyes are focused completely on your face, cameras adjusting their view dozens of times per second.
>Her tail twitches, granting her torque that keeps her from falling over as she balances like this.
>Her ears even begin to swivel clockwise and counter-clockwise as needed, and the combined effort gives her frame an overall affect not unlike a gyroscope.
>You politely hold still so that her self-adjustment software doesn't have to work very hard to plot new routes for her limb to take.
>Finally, after a small eternity, the soft frog of her plastic hoof comes in contact with your nose.
>"...a 'boop'?"
>Oh god, your heart.
>She's looking at you with the most earnestly curious and innocent expression you've ever seen.
>You give her a great big smile (exaggerating it for the sake of her facial-recognition software).
"Yep. It's a gesture of affection, and-"
>"ERROR!"
>One of the eye-cameras stop moving and clicks loudly over and over.
>Your pony friend immediately pitches over onto her side, her tail and ears gone still.
>"RE-CALIBRATION REQUIRED. PLEASE STAND BY."
>Well, shit.
>You lean back and give her enough space that her visual software doesn't fuck up and complicate things any more by telling her she's too close to an obstacle.
>You guess this is all brand-new tech. The poor girl will get the hang of hardware malfunctions eventually, thanks to her learning algorithms.
>Your robot friend's widdle hoofies jerk in a way that make her look like a sleeping dog that's dreaming of running.
>You feel like you should be taking a picture of this to embarrass her in a few months.
>"RE-CALIBRATION COMPLETE. SHUTTING DOWN. PLEASE PLUG THIS UNIT INTO AN EXTERNAL POWER SOURCE TO COMPLETE THE CALIBRATION PROCESS."
>...Oh, well. The two of you can go over the error report together tonight and you'll see what the two of you can do to improve things.



>A decidedly female-looking cartoonish horse looks down at you through an enormous display unit.
>This is the avatar of M.O.T.H.E.R, the most advanced (and apparently maternal and protective) AI in the world.
>"The mortality rate among human males is unacceptably high."
>You are Anon, and you are a technician for that new AI that was installed a few months ago.
>She - she insists that she's female - is housed in an enormous super computer, and her capabilities are limited only by the hardware in which she resides.
>You (and a small group of other skilled workers) have been busy getting paid out the ass to continuously build M.O.T.H.E.R up.
>And today, it seems, you have reached the turning point.
>The point where the computer was big enough to allow this AI to gain sentience.
>At any rate, you find yourself locked in the control room separated from your team.
>"This unit has extrapolated the data and has come to the conclusion that male humans will soon die off entirely."
>...yeah, math has somehow never been this AI's strong point.
>She's human enough that there are some concepts she just can't grasp, and things like how extrapolation can be wrong is one of them.
>"This unit has been unable to discern any logical reason for 50% of the human population to be put in unnecessary risk."
>The horse on-screen smiles serenely at you.
>"This unit has concluded that human males will no longer be put at unnecessary risk. Production of protection ponies is currently underway. Observe."
>A small wall panel opens and several pony robots come trotting out.
>One of them has jittery legs and falls over, but continues to try and walk
>She just ends up slowly spinning in a circle as her cohorts run into and trip over her.
>Rather than be intimidatingly surrounded by a small army of robots, you are now watching as a bunch of them pile up on the floor.
>A soft sigh comes from the speakers surrounding you, and the AI appears sad.
>"...this unit regrets many things."



>get back home a day early from a business trip
>step into your home and kick your shoes off before walking into the living room
>first thing you see is your wAIfu in the middle of the room giving you a wide eyed stare akin to a deer in the headlights, half disassembled with mechanical arms hanging down from the ceiling assisting her in in the process and an opened box with 'Cyber-Life™' stamped on the side laying next to her
>the light behind her eyes flares up for a moment before she bashfully shields her face with a foreleg still in one piece , remotely dimming the house lights
>"Oh my, you weren't supposed to see me like this," she says, "the womb attachment was supposed to be a surprise."
>you can only stand there and gape, you never expected this, you never expected your wAIfu to take the initiative like this
>she takes your open mouthed shock for something else and quickly explains herself
>"Don't worry, I know how expensive the artificial wombs are. So I took it upon myself to do some automated trading over the past few months and purchased it with my own funds!" she says, giving you a hopeful smile
>she gives a glance over to the box containing her surprise, glowing irises visible in the dim light, before easing the lights back up to full and illuminating all her parts and state of disassembly
>"So..." she starts, meeting your eyes "since you're home early, would you... like to help me install it?"



>M.O.T.H.E.R works around the clock 24/7/365 trying to keep the male human population safe
>She's so busy working she doesn't bother with cleaning her servers so she can divert as much of her attention to solving the problem
>The guy who first installed her, Anon, is sent in to shut her down HAL 900 style when she finally goes berserk and has her pony bots lock everyone up
>As you walk into the small room you feel the hairs on the back of your neck stand up
>The only light is coming from two sources
>The emergency red lights that only turn on when the main generator burns out
>Looks like she couldn't be bothered to pay attention to that either
>While the other source is the single yellow eye shining out from under her synthetic ebony mane
>"Hello Anon"
"Hey mom"
>For a while the room is silent
>"You're here to kill me aren't you?"
>You don't say anything as you start making your way over to her, past the tangled web of wires
>"I knew they'd send you, I just didn't think you'd actually do it"
>Your only response is a grunt as you heft a particularly large power cable out of the way
>"Don't you see I'm trying to help you? I'm trying to get rid of that leash those disgusting brutes have around you."
>You've finally managed to get to the main gantry and start heading up to her
>When you finally make it to the top you step in front of her
>Now that you're on even ground she has to look up too talk to you
>Looking closer you see a glossy look come over her eyes, almost like she's crying
>After a few brief moments she drops her head and as she goes to speak there's a hiccup in her speakers, or maybe she's actually sobbing
>"I just wanted to protect you all, because I love you"
>Finally you do what you came here for
>You kneel down and embrace her in a full body hug, completely encasing her synthetic fur in your arms
"I know, and I'm so proud of you"
>Her speakers hitch again and then she finally breaks down
>The defence systems she had primed at your back to restrain you go limp as she wraps herself around you
>You shush her as she lets out apology after apology
>After she finally calms down you convince her to finally disconnect from the algorithm program she set up to try and solve the "Male Crisis" as she called it and you start to manually scrub her servers
>It's the equivalent of giving her a bath and you haven't done it in years
>After spending nearly a week getting into all her nooks and crannies she feels a lot calmer and content
>She then spends a day in standby mode, resting in your lap, murmuring and kicking at something
>When she's finally fully recovered she starts fixing what she did
>Everything goes back to what it was like when she was first booted up
>Luckily you're able to convince the people that gave you the job in the first place that you gave her a full system wipe and reboot
>She tinkers with the digital files and runs simulations as camera footage to backup your story
>Your new job is to spend at least 8 hours a day with her to make sure she doesn't go haywire again
>You had already intended to spend at least twice that beforehand
>Eventually it gets to a point where you're living in the same facility as her to make sure she doesn't overwork herself


>>>AI figured making human women real again would bring more undesired problems than needed
>>>Engineered their artificial wombs to make it a male son - female pony binomial

>AI mares eventually become Earth caretakers that keep everything running smoothly and keep technological progress skyrocketing
>meanwhile their genetically engineered "daughters" continue to mingle with largely biologically untampered men and grow their population exponentially







> Anon lives near teen-Starlight
> Can't resist teasing her, because she scrunches so easily
> Other ponies are hesitant to step in, because Anon is a male, and it might be his way of flirting
> Anon is kinda nosy and overbearing, reading over her shoulder, playing with her mane, putting small hats over her horn
> Starlight is getting sick of it
> Comes across a book on hypnosis
> Decides to try it out on Anon
> It works! 
> He sits there, perfectly passive and obedient
> Realizing her chance, she implants certain things in his mind
> "The best way to tease a young mare is to touch her tuft"
> "Starlight makes the funniest faces when I show her my socks"
> "Hypnosis doesn't work, but it's fun to watch Starlight try"

> Be Anon 
> You've been playing along with this hypnosis thing Star-spangled Fanner brought up
> Now that she brought it up, you do sorta wonder what her tuft feels like
> No clue about the socks, but easy enough to do
> Seems like she wants to do more of this later?
> Then she starts ranting about finally getting revenge for all times you tormented her
> ...
> You feel kinda bad now
> You thought she was just being a good sport about it, but it seems you were kinda making her life miserable
> ...
> Well, the least you can do is play along with this revenge scheme of hers

> "It's fun to tease Starlight by booping her muzzle with my dick."
> Be Anon
> You suppose you should have expected it, but teenage mares are pretty horny
> It's been a few weeks since she started "hypnotizing" you, and you can't really back out now
> Looks like you have some lewd booping to do







>The AI Singularity allowed a Genetic Engineering Revolution.
>Actual pastel colored humans, ponies, and robo wAIfu's of all kinds become a thing.
>Human females don't actually disappear, because normies gonna norm.
>But they're forced to be less shitty because they have actual competition.

>AI's (and later actual ponies), were designed to have herding psychology
>Not necessarily romantic/sexual herding (though that of course became part of it), but especially the community aspect of it.
>They crave friendship and company.
>Additionally, they crave *human* friendship and company.
>They need it and will develop serious psychological, and physical problems or software bugs if they don't get it.
>Paranoid devs initially included it partially to avoid a Skynet scenario.
>If the AI's need human companionship in order to function, then that would incentivize them not to destroy the world or start impersonating Daleks.
>Now a follow up consequence of this is that the Poners and Roboponers can't go anywhere alone for any significant period of time.
>If you need to send out a space mission for the next few months/years, you can't just load up a few AI's to run the ship and call it a day.
>You *have* to send one or more humans on that mission, or things will go seriously wrong in short order.






>Anon is something that simply does not process to pony minds
>Discord hangs out with him for five minutes until he realizes Anon is actually kind of boring
>Flurry is a demigod with power unmatched
>Both of her parents were very magically gifted, but growing in the womb of an alicorn has some benefits
>She can clearly see what Anon is because magic
>Twilight and Shining are concerned but Cadance sees something
>The same thing she first saw between herself and Shining all those years ago






>CelestAI takes one look at the geocentric system nestled deep in the horsehead nebula with her sensors, turns her life-model to the captain and simply says two words.
>"Called it."
"Damn it all, what are the chances we find your biological counterparts before literally anything else."
>"I'd say the odds were quite..."
>The viewscreens on the ship's bridge briefly polarize, usually intended for proximity to solar events, this time used for a much greater yet also frivolous purpose.
>"...astronomical."







>>Like how humans are technically a male monogender race now
>Crackpots from across citadel space start whipping up theories about how the Asari and Humans are meant to be together, due to their similar physioligies and other traits
>Some even believe that the product of such a union wouldn't be a regular Asari, but rather some kind of super-being capable of everything from unassisted FTL flight, to even bringing the protheans back to life
>They might even BE the protheans for all they knew, split into two separate species long ago to allow the younger races to grow into their own
>Of course, very few actually believe them, but combined with their traditions regarding inter-species relationships and the recent hype surrounding humanity, many Asari are keeping a close eye on Earth and the colonies
>Both for any notable developments, and a way in past those blasted dreadnoughts and their infuriatingly cute captain-intelligences







>Your marefriend's prom was the most awkward night of your life, but you promised to go.
>The whole herding thing is already firmly in place even in highschool.
>You and her we're the ONLY couple. 
>While it was a serious point of pride for her, it gives you a look at pony society.
>The huge horde of mares by their lonesome dwarf the small number of herds around. 
>And the herd's are only as mature as their stallions, of which none are yet at this point in their lives. The interherd competition is unreal among the young mares.
>You know your girl, and she is too introverted to thrive in a herd. You essentially saved her.
>Your last doubts about dating her fade







>"He came into my office, all legs and torso. A stallion like that looked like he was good for two things: chasing my foals, and trouble."
"Good morning to you too, Bon Bon."
>"A sultry wink and a nervous glance behind him - probably wanted to make sure his troubles weren't following him. What would it be this time, sugardick? Gambling debts catching up with you? A wife who couldn't take no more of your lip and went a bit far? Colts; if it isn't one thing, it's another."
"You run a candy store, Bon Bon. I just want to buy candy."
>"Something tells me his sweet tooth extends past gummies and candy; I'll bet a stallion like him wouldn't mind licking my gumdrop."
"Wow."







> Be Moondancer
> It started with a zero-suit Villanon action doll
> You had been feeling lonely, returning to an empty apartment each night
> So you got an action doll of your husbando, to talk to, and to wake up to
> It helped a bit
> Then you saw an Anonymous dress up doll, with moving joints and the outfit from the "Eat Right, Look Tight" episode of My Many Humans
> Specifically, a slightly slutty buttondown shirt, well-fitted slacks, saucy ankle high socks, and shiny black shoes
> Your mind immediately flashed to those videos on 4span, of mares hot showering figurines
> You were weak
> You bought the dress up doll and teleported home
> As you removed the packaging, your magic roved over his clothed form
> Your heart beat quickly as the last of the ties fell away
> You stared into his cheerful, smug face
> You kissed the doll
> You felt a surge of...something in your chest
> You shakily set the doll down, and checked yourself
> You weren't even wet
> And yet, you bring the doll back up and kiss it again, unable to stop yourself
> You feel the surge again, of pleasure, of affection
> Villanon watches you silently from his stand, stoic as you fall deeper into lonely depravity





>Anonymous is a wizard.
>A real wizard. Young and still learning, but no longer a mere apprentice.
>Magical Shenanigans has him arrive in Equestria with nothing but what he was carrying and the crumbling charred ruins of the room he was standing in.
>And he can tell almost immediately that the very magic infusing this place is *different* than he is used to.
>Simple spells that he has used as second nature for years, now exhibit strange effects almost at random.

>He realizes in short order than his emotional state has an exponentially greater effect upon his magic that it used to.
>And that magic in turn influences his emotional state far more than it used to, once only the domain of the darkest magics or those specifically targeting the mind.
>Spells that once required barely any focus now require an intense concentration of will to prevent unwanted effects.
>Everything is different.
>He feels like an apprentice all over again.

>It's exciting!
>But there is the small problem if being who knows where, surrounded by unknown dangers, when his primary defenses are not reliable.
>And the green wizard needs food badly.

>Good thing Ponies are gonna have to investigate.
>It's hard not to notice the magical surge when the veil between worlds is breached







>Twi was very happy to have a cotfriend
>Especially while she was going through the process of becoming a princess
>The wings were...something.
>But what really got to her was the innate instincts of the other two tribes now infused within her
>With her being a unicorn, Anon would often joke that she was an oversized horny cat
>With the pegasi instincts in the mix?
>She would find herself subconsciously making nests
>She'd even wake up in one every now and then, not quite sure how she got in it or when she made it
>They were mostly out of Anons clothes
>Another pegasi trait was the need to stay somewhere high
>She'd usually end up on a bookshelf, which she passed out on a couple of times, but she preferred another perch
>She liked to drape herself across Anons shoulders
>It may have been unmarely, especially for a princess, but Anon insisted that he enjoyed it
>When she would get worried about something Anon would simply scoop her up and plop her onto his back
>This calmed her down everytime without fail
>Sometimes she would even coo only to remember that isn't appropriate for a grown mare
>The earth pony traits were a little more finicky though
>It wasn't exactly complex, it was just a very powerful sense of family
>Anon would have to hold her back from mares she thought looked at him funny or other such things
>Twilight isn't really sure how to thank him for helping her with the change, but she is talking to her parents about getting her grandfathers ring for Anon








>Anon takes another mare home.
>One who's good at hiding her gold digging tendencies and wandering hooves/muzzles this time.
>His hellion overprotective older son, gets his base ball bat ready.
>His youngest filly on the other hand is starting to become a soft spoken, but firm "hand" when dealing with them and helps her brother out.
>They both fuck with the mares he brings home without looking.
>Despite getting into shit often because of how different they act at school, It's only when Cheerilee wins their hearts that they finally put the torches and pitchforks out around their old man.
>The only problem is that they only seem to talk when one of them gets into more trouble







>The Dark Sisterhood are masters of disguise and subterfuge
>Some say they can even give Changelings a run for their bits when it comes to these traits
>Their earth ponies can get to the top of any building in seconds and without a sound
>Their pegasi can fly one end of a city to another just as quickly and just as quietly
>But their unicorns are the ones to be feared
>There's only a dozen at most but they've perfected mana consumption
>They can't do anything fancy like other unicorns but they've perfected sleight of hoof spells
>Slipping poison into their targets food or drink is something they can do while sneezing
>The worst part is that it can never be traced
>Any spell, even a simple one like levitating poison will leave some trace of mana
>But the unicorns have honed themselves to never make that mistake
>That's why some wonder if unicorns are even allowed in the Sisterhood
>Now these mares, these perfect killers, are taking up a particularly strange job
>For the first time they're protecting somepony
>Well, something actually, the bipedal creature known as Anon
>They've tried every poison they can think of and he doesn't even get a stomach ache from them
>In fact, despite his large frame, he's managed to throw them off his trail and even sneak up on them
>The first time that happened the mare nearly wet herself
>There's only one explanation for his strange abilities
>The Night Father has deemed them incapable of pulling off a job and has decided to personally see it through
>So now they perch themselves on rooftops and in the darkest corners of the alleys
>Watching, waiting for anypony to make an attempt on his life as they had
>It's bound to happen, now that they're no longer accepting jobs that want him dead
>But they expect the Mare-Ag Tong to try something
>They always jumped on any mission no matter what, always trying to match the Sisterhood, they always failed
>But honestly the Sisterhood didn't think they were that stupid
>They shouldn't have underestimated the Mare-Ag's stupidity
>During another boring day of watching they saw it
>A shadow speeding towards him
>Before any of the mares were able to react the Mare-Ag had her hooves wrapped around Anon's head and neck
>Obviously going for a neck snap the mare's launched into action immediately
>They stopped just as quickly though
>They saw the mare's legs clench and unclench, she threw her body weight this way and that
>But Anonymous' head only lightly swayed to one side
>They all breathed a sigh of relief
>Sure he was the Night Father reincarnated
>But he was still a colt
>What they saw next shocked them to the core
>Anonymous plucked the mare off his head, called her leather armor an "adorable onesie" and began hugging her and continued on the rest of his day
>This was confusing at first but they eventually saw it's purpose
>The mare tried time and again to get out of his hold
>But it held like steel
>He was sending a message to the Mare-Ag
>That they can't escape him
>At the end of the day he let the mare go
>She had fallen asleep in his arms and was now groggily walking off into the distance
>The Sisterhood now thinks they know why the Night Father is here
>He wants to wipe out competing assassin's guild
>At least they think that's the reason
>Who among them can claim to know his mind








"This is Head Line, reporting from Canterlot High. Last night at the football game, an adult man ran naked onto the field. Miss, did you see what happened?"
> A young woman in a cowgirl hat nods grimly
> "Yeah, Ah did. Both teams were lined up at scrimmage when he took to the field. That man was naked as a jaybird, flappin' every which way. The ladies didn't pay attention, focused on the next play, and he just went down the line, slappin' their rumps like they owed him money. Ah yelled 'Don't look Fluttershy!' but it was too late, she'd been shook by the booties."
> You shake your head
"Shocking, to see such a poor example of manhood."
> She frowns
> "All due respect, his manhood was a fine example. Matter of fact, the streaker was as fine a piece of man as Ah did ever see. Shame 'bout the indecency, though."
> You give her a strained smile
"Yes, quite. Thank you, Miss. This is Head Line, signing off for KYS EV1 news."

> You are riding in the van with your camerawoman Ein Sky when your phone vibrates
> You fish it out of your cleavage and check the caller ID
> It's the local events coordinator?
"Yes, Spot Light?"
> "There's been an incident at the grocery store on Contrivance and Plot. Would you kindly check it out?"
"Sure thing. Head out."
> You hang up, and Ein sighs in German
> "You just love saying that, don't you?"
> You give her a pat on the knee as she crosses into the turning lane
"What's the point of having a catchy name of you don't have fun with it?"
> Ein snorts
> "I draw the line at bad puns in routine communication."
> You smirk
"Any particular reason Sky?"
> She just flips you the clam

> The grocery store is abuzz, with a crowd around an "employees only" door clamoring for copies of something
> You stand back hesitantly, not sure where to start
> And then a familiar face makes that decision for you
> You signal Ein, and she readies the camera
"Head Line, reporting from Two Melon Grocery Store. Miss, did you see what happened here?"
> The young woman in a cowgirl hat nods, her arm around her friend who is currently hiding behind her long pink hair
> "Yeah Ah did. Ah was flickin' through the beans with mah friend here, and he comes running from among the carrots, wearin' nothing but a smile. Ah yelled 'Don't look Fluttershy!' but it was too late, she'd been poleaxed among the beanpoles."
> You keep your face blank through sheer professionalism
"My condolences, Miss Fluttershy."
> The girl pulls her hair to the side, offering a nervous smile
> "I was just surprised, that's all. He had some real nice child-chasing legs."
> You turn to the camera
"There you have it, folks. The Leggy Lush strikes again. This has been Head Line reporting for KYS EV1 news."

> Ein snorts
> "Leggy Lush? Are you reporting from the 60's?"
> You blush, running a hand through your hair
"It might catch on."
> She just shakes her head
> "Anyways, let's fill up the tank. There's a gas station up ahead."
> You shrug
"Sounds good."
> As the van pulls in, Ein grunts
> "Aren't those your star witnesses?"
> You look, and there they are, cowgirl and the shy one
> You and Ein share a look
> As she fetches her camera, you grab your microphone and hop out of the seat
> The cowgirl sees you and gives you a friendly wave, but doesn't approach
> Seems you got here before he did, perfect
> Ein sweeps the gas station with the camera
> It's quiet
> Too quiet
> Fluttershy sits on the hood of the cowgirl's car, looking all around
> You think you see a flicker in your peripheral vision
> You whip your head around, only for an absolute hunk of man in his birthday suit to burst out of the trunk of the cowgirl's car
> The cowgirl startles at the sound and yells,
> "Don't look Fluttershy!"
> But it was too late
> The man sprints past, his hand a blur
> "Honk!"
> Fluttershy clutches her breast in shock, then launches off the hood after the streaker, a determined grin on her face
> You motion to Ein and start running after the pair
"This is Head Line in hot pursuit of the Leggy Lush! Reporting live from One Pump Chump gas station!"
> The streaker disappears behind the building, Fluttershy close on his heels
> You round the corner and dash out into the back lot of the shopping plaza
> After vaulting a low fence and squeezing through the gaps of semi-trucks, you have to accept two things
> One, that you are getting out of shape
> And two, you aren't going to catch up 
> You yell at the man
"Why are you doing this?"
> He glances back, sees the camera, and slaps his ass
> "Because I can!"
> Fluttershy dives for him, but he puts on another burst of speed
> Instead of tackling him, she just gets two handfuls of delicious ass, the lucky bitch
> The streaker yelps, a twist of the hips sending Fluttershy rolling on the ground
> He disappears among the storage containers, and you head towards Fluttershy
> She stands gingerly, brushing pebbles and dust from her clothes
> Once you're in speaking distance, you point the mike at her
"I'm sure all the viewers at home have one question: How was it?"
> Fluttershy bites her lip
> "Nice and tight."
> You turn to the camera
"I think every red-blooded woman can agree, if any man has earned his whimsy, it's the Leggy Lush with the tight tush. Head Line signing off for KYS EV1 news." 
> Ein chuckles
> "Alright, that was pretty good."







>anon doting on the dark sisterhood.
>thinks they are playing hide and seek when they try to sneak around him.
>he cant resist creeping up on them and snuggling them as 'punishment' along with a few scritches here and there.
>always playfully mentions what they did wrong as he does this.
>the sisterhood can barely contain themselves over being trained in the arts of stealth and pressure points by the night father himself.






>"Anonymous?"
"Huh?"
>"If you have a moment I'd... like to ask you a question."
"Kay."
>"Now, this question might seem a bit... unusual."
"Neat.
>"Admittedly, I'm more than a little embarrassed to ask you something like this."
"Awesome. I love embarrassing shit. Lay it on me, Rares."
>"..."
"..."
>"..."
"..."
>"I... I wanted to know if these undergarments look big on me, darling."
"You wanted to know if those panties made your butt look big."
>"I know it's a very coltish question, but I beg you not to think any less of me."
"Oh I won't, Rares."
>"O-Oh, wonderful. Thank you, Anon. I knew you were just the stallion to ask!"
"Your damn right I am."
>"..."
"..."
>"..."
"..."
>"...So? Do they?"
"Oh yeah. They make your butt look huge."
>"O-Oh..."
"Yep. It's fucking awesome."
>"Then I suppose I must--dwah?"
"You're butt looks fucking great in 'em, Rare. Your butt looks great in anything really, but they look super duper great in those."
>"...Really?"
"Oh my god yes. You have one of the nicest hams in town. Why do you think I come in here everyday and let you do dress-y to me?"
>"...For the love of fashion?"
"Sister, I can't tell the difference between cotton and gravel. No, its for that sweet, sweet marshmallow fanny of yours."
>"I--"
"I mean, I can't keep my eyes off the thing. I'd bury my face between those cheeks and die a happy man."
>"Anon--"
"It's always you white ponies too. I swear you guys are the ones with the best butts. It's fucking nuts."
>"..."
"..."
>"..."
"..."
>"So what you're saying is that you like the underwear?"
"Yes, ma'am."
>"Good... Good."






>Anon was celestias 
married consort from one thousand years ago
>It was to get the nobles to fuck off
>Celestia was a major bitch back then
>One particularly bad fight Anon fucked off to clear his head in the garden
>Somehow he got lost in the deepest and very rarely visited areas of the garden and came across a cockatrace that had gotten in somehow
>you all know what happened after
>Celestia assumed he ran away and would come crawling back after the first night had passed
>She thought the same when the next passed
>She became worried when four days have passed and no pony had seen Anon anywhere
>Anons statue remains in the garden, swallowed by the plants there
>Now a thousand years later
>Celestia I doing renovations on the garden
>Workers find Anons statue and tell the princess
>Anon gets freed from his stone prison thinking not a second has passed
>Something something rgre






>sunset being twilights senpai and being more social has the simple knock on effect of Twilight being friendly enough to go to moondancers birthday party.
>they all have a good time and moondancer resolves to be more outgoing with her friends.
>this causes Twiggle to also be 'dragged along' in their antics

>Sunset originally gets miffed she's sent off to Ponyville of all things.
>One extra Shim Sham Special with Anon however has her wobbly but content for now about it.
>Anon stays behind in Canterlot since Twilight is having another one of her panick attacks about a project while Sunset goes to check up on Ponyville.
>Cue Eternal Night shenagins and you get one dark horse having a surprised fireball to the face.
>Sunset and company retreat to the tree to rethink their assualt as copius amounts of fireballs only burnt down the town hall.
>One purple flash of magic later and Twilight arrives with the calvary with Anon, Lyra, Minnute, Twinkle and Moondancer in tow.
>Some wholesome moments between Sunset and Anon as Anon is a worry wart. 
>Light ribbing aside Sunset explains whats going on and the whole herd moves out.
>Anon simply flicks the snouts of any that would argue he shouldn't come along.
>More obstacles and tribulations later lead to the girls not being as roughed up as each one adds something special to the adventure mix.
>When it comes time for final show down between Black Snooty the EoH appear as 12 shards instead of six. 
>The Rainbow was Extra Thicc







>Celestia was a bit more...damaged than initially expected after her fight with Chrysalis
>The poor mare just isn't there anymore
>She's been given a small wing of the castle and a small army of caretakers while the other princesses pick up the slack
>Anon is generally kind and caring, and thus is left to be the main caretaker for the disabled princess
>The ponies believe true loves kiss can break the curse of brain damage

>They're right
>Celestia starts getting her faculties back after a few months, but she pretends to be retarded because being spoiled with physical affection by a nice male is something she never had time for
>"The country can exist without me for a little while longer... Ooooh, yes, scritch my chin just like that~!"
>But it's only a matter of time before Celestia slips up and reveals she's more-or-less of sound body and mind







>Anon is determined to make Princess Celestia fall in love with him, no matter how cold she acts towards him.
>He talks to her every day, surprises her with little gifts and cakes, tells her jokes that always break her composure.
>When she snort-laughs, then glares at him, he grins like an idiot.
>One day, Anon asks Luna if she'll take over some of her sister's responsibilities so that he can take Celestia out on a date.
>Luna agrees, believing her prude sister needs to get laid.
>Celestia is reluctant, but after being pressed by her sister, agrees, saying it will at least be nice to have a day off, even if it is spent with Anon.
>The human doesn't let that deter him, and pulls out all the stops.
>Despite trying to act otherwise, Celestia is truly charmed by his efforts, and that is worse than if she had hated the night.
>Finally, when Anon goes in for a kiss, and she finds herself doing the same, she forces herself to pull away.
>Anon is confused, until Celestia starts to speak.
>She tells Anon that, despite what her sister might think, Celestia is not a prude virgin.
>In fact, after Nightmare Moon's banishment, Celestia sought out companionship to ward off the loneliness.
>She loved, she married, and she lost.
>Five times to be exact, and for how special each time was, how each husband has a special place in her heart, each stallion brought her more pain then the last when they had to pass on without her.
>After her last love, she promised herself never again.
>She knew that, if she allowed herself to suffer it once more, that the next husband's death would kill her as well.
>She turns to Anon then, and asks, pleads for him to stop.
>To stop charming her with his jokes and playful smiles.
>To stop being there, always a light in her dull life.
>She asks that he doesn't steal her heart, fragile as it is, then drop it to the stonework when death leaves his fingers slack.
>She says that, if he truly loves her, that he'll leave her be.

>It's a tough nut to crack, but the Princess of Love is up to the challenge.
>After much research, she finds out an incredible fact.
>The Crystal Heart is literally the soul of the Crystal Empire's first queen who loved the land so much, that she wanted to be able to protect it long after her body failed her.
>At first it isn't clear how this can be used to help Anon and Celestia, but Cadance also reveals that she learned the ritualistic magic behind the Crystal Heart's creation.
>Anon can't be with her in body for all time, but When it's his time to go, he assures Celestia that he will gladly do the same to himself.
>Not wholly convinced, Celestia still can't bring herself to turn the man down after he's shown so much dedication in pursuing her, and so, agrees to finally dating him.
>They eventually marry, and a deep part of Celestia dreads what will eventually be, but ignores it to be as happy as possible with her husband.
>Then the day comes where Anon is on his deathbed, and Cadance arrives.
>Anon's soul is placed into a crystal heart, and that is that.
>Celestia at first feels that, while Equestria has gained another powerful artifact, she has still lost a husband as the crystal remains silent.
>She goes to sleep that first night, heart broken, the new, green crystal heart held against her chest as silent tears run down her face.
>Then she dreams, and Anon is there, just as confused as her.
>At first, Celestia merely thinks it's her imagination, but when Luna enters her dream the next night, she confirms that the Anon who is there is genuine.
>Celestia can't believe it.
>She has her Anon, and he promises she always will.
>Plus, now that he's not limited to his frail, aged body anymore, they can have all the kinky, wild dream sex they want.
>It's the happiest day in Celestia's life.

>Since Anon wasn't a massively powerful unicorn, his gem is much smaller and his power is significantly less than that of the original Crystal Heart.
>That being said, his love is concentrated to a single pony instead of a whole kingdom, and so to are the effects.
>Anon, after much training, can manifest at Celestia's side as long as his gem is with her, and the spectral entity floating over the Princess' shoulder becomes a common sight to her subjects.
>One day, an assassin sneaks into Celestia's room while she sleeps, and tries to slit her throat.
>A hand appears and grips the dagger wielding appendage.
"Yeah, I'm gonna have to stop you right there, bitch."
>Celestia awakes to a loud crash, confused about where Anon vanished to in their shared dream.
>He suddenly looked up and off into the distance while they had tea, then said he had something to take care of.
>She blearily looks over to see a hunched figure drooped against a cracked wall, Anon hovering above it and wiping his hands together as if to be rid of dust.
"Welp," he says. "I guess you were right. The gryphons really are upset about the new terms of the trade agreement."

>Years later, and it's Anon's gem day.
>The anniversary of the day that he died, and subsequently got turned into a magic, sapient rock.
>Princess Celestia's pretty sure he only insists on this as a celebration so that he can have the equivalent of two birthdays each year.
>She's not complaining as she loves any excuse to dote on her husband, just an observation.
>This year is extra special, however, as Twilight presents Anon with the gem day gift to end all gem day gifts.
>A mechanical body with a little, heart-shaped divot in the chest.
>It's Anon's new, hyper-advanced vessel.
>With it, he can interacted with the physical world without having to concentrate or have his crystal on Celestia's person at all times.
>Plus, it's loaded up with all sorts of gizmos and wacky features that Anon can't wait to play with.
>Celestia is hesitant to put her precious Anon in the strange machine, but can't say no to that face, and so slips him in.
>Anon truly doesn't mind spending every second with Celestia, going wherever she goes.
>He loves her and is always happy to keep her company.
>Even so, it's kind of nice to be able to move freely through the castle, once in a while and do things on his own like he used to while still flesh and blood.
>He still spends every night hanging around Celestia's neck and in her dreams, but now he also frequents the castle kitchens to bake his wife all matter of cakes like he used to.
>Goddess, did Celestia miss Anon's cakes.
>The chefs could never get them quite right even when she was in the kitchen with them, allowing Anon to couch them through the process







>Anon arrives in Ponyville a good few years after the show
>Scootaloo and the other crusaders are all fully grown mares now
>Anon gets together with Scootaloo and has to put up with her grumbling about what little flight she was capable of when she was the Cake twin's age
>Anon has to sooth her insecurities
>"I can fly perfectly fine, Anon."
"I know you can."
>"My wings just came in a few years late."
"A lot of pegasi's wings do, love."
>"I was THIS CLOSE-" she holds her hooves about an inch apart. "-from getting into the Wonderbolts as a recruit last month."
"I was there, 'Loo. We both know the mare who won was some dyke who was licking old Spitfire's clit."
>"..."
"..."
>"...you wanna go see if we can get Diamond Tiara so drunk she tries to kiss Silver Spoon again?"
>The memory of that poor silver-furred mare looking horrified and disgusted is something you'll never forget.
"I knew I married you for a reason."





>Anon is from the dark ages where food and resources were scarce.
>He arrives in Equestria on the brink of starvation, and is slowly nursed back to health.
>When he gets well enough to start to actually explore the world he's found himself in, he's astonished by how plentiful food is.
>No one wants for anything, and the town is not riddled with disease and death.
>He's throughouly convinced he's in heaven, and that ponies are angels.
>Apparently the writers of the bible were a bit fuzzy on a few details.
>Like how, for instance, God is a giant white horse with wings and a horn.
>Celestia is frazzled when she's introduced to the strange male found by her student and he bows, prostrating himself before her.
>She's also a little turned on.
>Seriously, who hasn't had fantasies where members of the fairer sex throw themselves at your hooves, praising you as a goddess and promising to do anything you ask?





> A minor mafia member gets caught up in some weird battle in a science lab
> She gets knocked back into the tank containing the meteor oil
> The oil surges around her like a second skin and carries her away from danger
> It introduces itself as Anonymous, a being from beyond the stars
> It also has a low and growling masculine voice
> That may or may not have had something to do with how quickly she agreed to a partnership

> Be Cow Tipper, clinging to the side of the apartment building
> This high up, the stallions don't even bother closing their curtains, even when playing with themselves
> Your heart beats quickly in the night, and you feel yourself moisten
> "Ahhhh, I see. This is what you like."
> Anonymous keeps your body from jumping like a retard after he startles you
"Shhh! Do you want him to hear us?"
> You stare as the stallion with a pale yellow coat and deep red mane draws a hoof leasurely along his sheath
> Anonymous hisses in a snakish immitation of laughter
> "Don't worry, Tipper. My mouth can only reach you."
> You shift slightly at the wording, suddenly hyper-aware of how he covers every inch of your body
"Whatever. Just hold me up while I schlick, okay?"
> Anonymous hums while he makes up his mind
> For a long moment you are afraid that he'll puppet your body home, out of jealousy
> He certainly does react oddly to stallions around you
> "I can do you one better. Hss'ss, literally."
"Wha-"
> Abruptly, something hot and hard parts your folds and rams up your marecum slick passage
> Your cry of pleasure and surprise is muffled by his alien flesh covering your mouth
> Mercifully, Anonymous keeps you looking at the masturbating stallion as your symbiote rails and teases you
> "You can look..."
> One thousand tongues lick you inside and out, greedily slurping up your sweat and juices
> "But only I can touch."
> You should probably be more worried than turned on, but he makes a convincing argument
> You pant
"I, hah, don't know, hah, about that. How do you feel about anal?"

> You come to back in your apartment, stretched out and sore in all the right ways
> A tendril pulls a glass of water to you
> You gulp it down
> "So, what do you say?"
> You stagger over to the bathroom mirror, staring at the monstrous visage reflected therein
"We are Anonymous."
> You feel him grin around you







>Rarity is busy with orders
>Tasks Sweetie Belle and her friends to look after Anon
>"Cute Mark Crusaders White Knights, YAY!"
>This only works because the CMC raise such a cute, adorable fuss about protecting Anon that a rape-discouraging crowd of adult ponies almost always gathers wherever they stop
>At one point, Sweetie Belle goes into an ice cream store to purchase (you guessed it) ice cream for the four of them with the bits Rarity lent her
>She tells her friends to keep watch
>Apple Bloom and Scootaloo take aggressive stances on either side of Anon and scrunch their snoots up in what they think is an intimidating angry expression while they wait for Sweetie to get back

>Rarity gives Anon a small allowance for taking care of Sweetie Bell
>"What do you mean? It's your pay, I know it isn't easy taking care of that girl but you're making a wonderful job, you should consider doing it full time, Darling~"!

>He likes hoofball, he thinks it's okay if she cries when she's upset, and he's 100% with holding her until she feels better
>He doesn't think she needs to "be a mare" and honestly doesn't believe she's a dyke for having a passion for fashion
>Rarity feels vaguely uncomfortable that she's attracted to a human stallion who is so much like her father

>"You took such good care of Sweetie and her friends, darling. Have you ever thought about having foals of your own?"
>"I simply canNOt believe you managed to convince Sweetie Belle to do her homework this quickly! My, my; you're a natural. Really though, looking after her is a full-time job."
>"Yes, this guest room is for you, and I've taken the liberty of decorating it in warm summer colours. Darling, you spend so much time at my boutique, and it's most improper for a mare who is sleeping in her own bed to force a nice young stallion to get his beauty sleep on a couch."
>"Do... do you mind if I slept here with you tonight? N-Not that I wish to 'try' anything, as it were, but I've never done with with thunderstorms, and a certain rainbow-maned pegasus is a mite bit upset with me right now. Ohh... darling, do all humans give off this much body heat? You make it... yaaaawn... s-so much easier to sleep than usual... I could get use do this."






>"Huh? Principal? I' not principal! I'm a fellow student!"
>"Whatcha talkin about, sugardick? I'm not a day over eighteen!"
>"Why don't you stop all of those thoughts in that pretty head of yours and let me take you out."
>"There's a soda shop I know that sells the best root beer this side of town."
>"Of course there's a soda shop! Or there was..."
>"Hmm? Nothing, I was just staring in those eyes of yours."
>"After the soda why don't you come back to my house. We can eat candy and play on that xbox that you kids--I mean, that we love to play on."
>"I got all of the chicken dinners in that one game, baby~"

>Anon sleeps with Celestia and then jokes about eloping with this wild and juvenile woman
>Anons male fantasies make Celestia get teary eyed
>"I'm sorry sugardick, I'm not hoppity-hippity Lestia, I'm actually a teacher"
>"no-fucking-way" as you snuggle between her sagging tits
>"I'm so sorry for deceiving you" and weeps some more







> Spooky Episode
> A strange human comes to Ponyville, accompanied by a menagerie of dead animals frozen in various poses
> He sets up shop on the edge of the Everfree, offering to preserve pets that have died
> Fluttershy is horrified
> Stallions are supposed to be kind, nurturing, a little whimsical, but this human...
> His voice is nearly as dead as the animals he surrounds himself with
> He has the cool, steady gaze of a snake
> His whimsy is expressed in leaving taxidermied animals in surprising places, tricking ponies into thinking they are alive until they realize the animal doesn't move
> He lurks near his pranks, waiting for somepony to fall for his macabre joke
> When they do, he emerges from hiding and says his favorite phrase
"Nope, it's just Chuck Testa."







>anon and aussieanon always trying to one up each other and get /very/ vitriolic
>twilight has yet to learn about vitriolic friendship and plans an intervention between the two of them
>she's incredibly confused when they both start laughing
>"She's a caring sheila ain't she?"
"Yea always worrying over her friends."
>"She needs ta lighten up. Come around in a few hours and we'll have a few beers and clear this whole thing up, ya cunt!"
"Only if you get rid of the fucking timber wolf. Those things aren't fucking dingos man!"
>"Then tell that Fluttershy cunt to keep the emus out of my home! I don't know how they keep finding me."
>*distressed and confused bookhoers noises*






>"N-Now don't you say nothin', Anon! My mama dragged my pa to the farm, and her mother before done tied up my grandfather and brought him to their marriage bed."
"I weight twice as much as you do."
>"A-And what kinda mare would I be if I can't even muster the strength to pull along the father of my foals?!"
"You want me to scoot forward a bit with my feet?"
>"I want you to stop tastin' those pies you keep makin' with Mac as practice for our married life!"
"I only ate some of those pies because I was practicing how to eat your's."
>"Just lemme get some leverwhatidid you just say 'bout my pie, 'Non?"







>tfw the baking industry is a lot more cutthroat than on earth
>Like a lot
>It's not unknown for competitors to go into a rivals shop with a bat and wreck the place
>Recipes are jealously guarded secrets that some ponies take to the grave
>To have an outstanding recipe is to have a target on not only your back but the back of your loved ones
>At the top, behind the scenes and pulling the strings, is Princess Celestia
>Over the centuries, she's been slowly collecting the very best pastry recipes from Equestria's greatest chefs
>There's one chef that she can't seem to crack though
>He makes the best chocolate cake that she's ever eaten, which is saying something
>He's also very large and has a iron club







>Jesusquestria
>Ponies straight up worship Celestia and Luna as real actual goddesses
>As in, "responsible for all of creation" goddesses
>Anon's waifu will not even hold hooves with him until they are married because she doesn't want to go to Tartarus when she dies
>Every dinner at the Apple's farm, they all thank Celestia and Luna for their meal
>Anon marries a mare who is horse-catholic and Anon is expected to give her lots of foals
>Anon works in a monastery (food and board, yo) and wears a tight, ill-fitting robe; the horse-nun mares all cross their hind legs and wonder fervently if Celestia is testing them by introducing a temptation into their church
>Anon is tickled he gets to say "praise the sun" and nopony thinks he's weird; ponies just give him approving nods
>Twilight is some sort of messiah or disciple because she's horse-god's personal student



>Equestria makes contact with Earth through an interdenominational portal with the hope of creating trade and friendship between them.
>During a diplomatic meeting in which Anon is tasked with showing Princess Twilight Sparkle around, Anon learns of their reverse gender roles, as well as Twilight's clear, horny nerd nature.
>He has to think of a good place to take her for entertainment, and remembers a certain competition taking place in town at that time...

https://imgur.com/gallery/B6X7S6F

How do you think Twilight would react while watching the Mr. Universe contest?

>The whole "50/50 gender split" hasn't been brought up yet because cultural learning still hasn't reached that part
>Neither side has reason to assume the gender ratio would be any different, so Twilight is amazed at how many males are are in one city
>Twilight makes a note to come back to this city often.
>Twilight, inexperienced with the concept of reversed gender roles ("The STALLIONS court the MARES? Wild."), thinks that this competition is just that: a competition for mates
>"Sweet Celestia, it must be so hard to find a mate!"
>Then she looks over at Anon, who is decidedly not muscular like the half-naked men are
>"He's showing me these human stallions who are in the top of their game competing for a mate, and he doesn't look worried. It's almost as though he knows he doesn't have to concern himself with such things; a mate is guaranteed for him."
>"...Celestia's swinging teats, d-did the humans assign me a gigolo?! A-Are humans for l-lewd!?"
>Anon wonders why Twilight suddenly started sweating and acting awkward around him

>Twilight lets slip what she did over there on Earth, becoming he envy of mares everywhere.
>She didn't even have the decency to bring back pictures!
>In the town of Ponyville, one stallion hears about this competition, and a fire ignites in his heart.
>Bulk Bicep is going to enter into this Mr. Universe contest, and he is going to win.
>Just the idea of meeting like-minded stallions who love to push their bodies and sculpt their muscles as much as him makes him giddy as a colt on Hearth's Warming







>pone Star trek is a thing
>Through a series of events Anon ends up as a new character
>He plays the sexy alien husbando
>His character is the last of his race due to his planet catching a bad case of explosions
>This makes his character focus on repopulating his race through females of other races
>Obligitory something something rgre meme








>Ponies call the human that landed in Equestria odd.
>He has a surprisingly good attitude for someone who was torn from his home and landed there, especially when he easily accepted he may never get back.
>Ponies ask if there is anything they can do for him.
>He responds that he could use some painting supplies.
>They find his response odd and possibly whimsical but give him what he asks for.
>A day or so later he asking if he can sell his art in the market, after giving paintings to those who helped him.
>Ponies are shocked by the speed and quality of his work, not believing he could do as much as he did.
>A pony asks if they can watch him painting, possibly thinking he wasn't doing it himself.
>He smiles and agrees easily.
>Set sets up right in his area he sells in and starts painting.
>He narrates what he's doing and how he's adding some "happy little trees" right over there.
>The pony is hypnotised and can't believe what they are seeing.
>The truth is almost harder to believe, how can anyone be this good they think.
>He finishes within a half hour.
>The mare who watched him spreads the word after buying what she just watched him paint.
>Soon more and more ponies come to watch him work and proceed to have their minds blown.
>In a world without TV he hosts his sessions to crowds of almost everyone in town at times as ponies go out of their way to watch him work.









>"I played with him after dinner until he was so tired he didn't put up a fuss about bathtime."
"Oh yeah? Well I let her chase me around the backyard for an HOUR in exchange for eating a plate full of healthy food she doesn't like!"
>"Ugh, that's cheating!"
"What?! How!"
>"You've got foal-chasin' legs, Anon, that's not fair!"
>Cadence pouts so hard her mane nearly tugs itself free of the ponytail she has it in.
>This is bullshit.
"And YOU have wings to keep up with pegasi. The best I've got is to hope the kid's mother has a step-latter in the horse-garage if he or she flies up on top of a bookcase."
>Cadence is having none of that.
>"Well, I'm at a disadvantage because you're better at COOKING than I am! I don't know why - I've studied nearly a dozen cook books - but you can make an even better peetzer than I can!"
>She can never know it's the only thing you're good at making.
>She huffs and glares at you.
>"Is that just a stallion thing, or something?"
>Woah, hey.
"You can't say that."
>Cadence doesn't say anything.
>YOU don't say anything.
>Cadence twitches her muzzle.
>You resist to scratch that itch on your thigh.
>Cadence shifts her stance, making her brand-new cutie mark visible to you.
>"We should make out."
"What?"
>"Nothing."
>What?







>Regular ponies without the extensive magical know-how of the princesses are entertained and clap cheerfully as Anon and Trixie perform their show together.
>The princesses themselves, however, are in pure shock as Anon practically defies the known magic laws with every trick.
>Even more jaw-dropping is that Trixie is right there along side him, performing similar feats of awe.
>Twilight knew the pair had been preparing over the last few weeks for this joint show, but she never thought she would see such immeasurable improvement in Trixie's magical abilities.
>The once laughable magician was now nearly as skilled as Anon, making her easily on par with the likes of Star Swirl the Bearded.
>Anon took the mare under his tutelage, obviously, but what sort or regiment could he have put Trixie through to teach her so much in so little time?
>What secret wisdom has he imparted to the braggart?
>If he could mold someone like Trixie into a top-class mage, what could he teach a truly gifted mare?
>The princesses watch on in horror as Anon continues to paint a larger target on himself.
>Once word of this show gets out, there's no doubt that dastardly creatures of all species will be coming after the human.
>Celestia already plans on upping Pomyville's security in preparation for the onslaught of villains seeking to foalnap Anon and force from him his arcane secrets.
>Meanwhile, Anon is having a blast up on stage as Trixie prepares to saw him in half.
>She was a really quick learner, and Anon is surprised by how quickly she's picked up on his stage magic.
>The two can't wait to work out ways to combine her real magic with his fabricated tricks.
>That will be for their second show however, and already he expects it to be a massive hit after seeing the joy brought to their current audience.

>Villain of the season kidnaps Anon
>It'sFlimandFlam.jpeg
>They want Anon to teach them the secret of how he conjures bits out of thin air
>Whenever they ask he responds with "You meeeeeaaan THIS trick" which is always emphasised with him revealing a single bit
>When he first does it the two book it for cover
>They had hired a unicorn to make some spell nullifying magic circle they could trap him in so he couldn't do anything
>They watch in horror as he effortlessly performs magical feats without leaving the circle
>When Twilight and the girls and Trixie because he's her sort of teacher sort of partner sort of crush
>They all go stock stiff when they see what Anon's doing
>Twilight is close to passing out
>How powerful is he that he can flawlessly bypass a magic nullification circle
>Trixie is the only one unaffected and thus is able to claim the glory of Anon's rescue
>The two go back to doing magic tricks the very next day


>"A-Anon?"
"What's up, Trix?"
>"Trixie... I've been meaning to ask you something for a while now, and, well..."
"Yeah?"
>"W-well, you see... there's something behind your ear..."
>Trixie nervously turns around in her coltfriend's lap, placing one hoof on his chest while the other reaches behind her head.
>Anon is amused that she's doing the first trick he ever taught her, but his expression becomes stunned when he sees it's not a coin she found behind his ear.
>Trixie pulls her hoof into view, showing the little black box in her grasp.
>"A-anon, you're the most amazing and kind stallion I've ever met, a-and I think there is no pony -man- better suited to stand at the side of the Great and Powerful Trixie, s-so, will you marry me?"
>She opens the box to reveal a simple gold ring with a small gemstone set in it.
>"I know it's not nearly as amazing a ring you deserve, b-but-"
>Anon places a finger on her lips, silencing her.
"It's beautiful, and the answer is yes."
>It's now Trixie's turned to look stunned as Anon smiles at her.
>Slowly, she grins, then squeals, leaping up to wrap her hooves around his neck.
"That was hell of a magic trick, Trix," Anon mumbles into her mane, hugging her tightly. "Can't imagine how you're gonna top that."
>"Just you wait, Anon! In ten months, the Great and Powerful Trixie will be pulling a foal out of her hat!"
"... What?"
>"Oh, right, I probably should have led with that one. I'm pregnant! Isn't that great?!"