>To become a pony Anon must eat the placenta of a pony who's just given birth.

>>35419315
You've got me started and now I'm writing green. Expect it soon enough.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
>Be Anon
>Be bothering a certain purple nerd who also knows a lot about magic
>"For the last time Anon, I'm not telling you how to become a pony, much less an alicorn prince."
"C'mon Twiggles, you know it would be fun."
>"Not to enforce bad ideas, but isn't that something you would say to convince someone like Discord?"
"Fluttershy said no."
>"That answers three questions I wasn't asking."
"C'mon Twiggy, please? I know you know how to do it!"
>"Not doing it. Even I know better than to let you keep doing what you're doing, especially after the fajitas incident."
"How was I supposed to know that it would cause a magical anomaly?"
>"Still not telling you how."
>And that's how you find yourself three hours later, breaking into Purple's personal library as she slept
>It was not easy bribing Spike to let you in, it cost a fortune to get that gem
>Now all we have to do is find the right book, with your limited amount of time
>Two hours of searching dulls your mind as you pour over the seemingly limitless titles
>Smut, dark magic, smut, necromancy for dummies, smut, transmutation, smut, illegal scrapbook of you sleeping, smut... wait, transmutation?
>Your prize is finally found, and you think of taking off with it
>Until you realize that there's some sort of sigil on the back of the weighty tome
>Fuck she's probably tracking the thing, probably because you asked about it for weeks
>Gotta read it here, then
>You skim through pages upon pages of the organizational mess that is the tome, ordered by time of discovery instead of something useful like effect or name
>You burn another hour and a half glazing over names, most of which are Starswirl
>As if you didn't hear it enough, you have to read about him
>You find it, the aptly named "Starswirl the Bearded's Biped to Pony Potion"
>Potion? Wasn't this supposed to be a spellbook?
>The thing reads like an online grandma's recipe, with the backstory being he found a minotaur that taught Starry here how to make a base that could transform one species to another.
>You just need five ingredients, 3 complete flowers Poison Joke, a hair of the creature being transmuted, a hare's hair, 6 thaums of unbound magic and the placenta of the creature's final result, then chill and shake vigorously until well blended
>Four of the five should be easy enough, Rarara owes you a favor after that whole fashion show shenanigan
>You're never wearing a dress again. [spoiler]"Unless she pays you this time!" your inner jew shouts[/spoiler]
>But how in the hell are you gonna get your hands on a placenta?
>...you're in ponyland, maybe ask nicely? That seems to work most of the time.
>"Spike? Why's the window open?"
>Now would be a good time to escape.
>Be Anon after a half-night's rest
>Too excited to be sleepy, you decide to head to Rarity's first.
>She'll probably have gloves and a bag you could use to get the other ingredients
>You take along two jelly jars, one for the magic and one for the potion
>The walk to Carousel Boutique is short because you're running
>You knock on the door
>"Pinkie, darling, you know this is a business. You don't have to knock." You hear Rarity's voice through the door
>Were you that frantic?
>Walking in, you feel the need to correct that mistake
"Actually Rares, it's just me."
>She turns to look at you. "Oh, Anonymous! I've been waiting for you. Are you ready for another fashion show?"
>Not on your life, and especially not on mine posh horse
"Not today, sorry. Just wondering if you could do me a favor or two."
>"Aw, that's too bad. However, I can help you with what you need. What exactly is it that you need?"
"I'm looking for gloves, a small bag, a bit of unbound magic, and very few questions."
>"Darling, I have to ask questions. What kind of occasion is the bag and gloves for? I need to make sure that the style is absolutely perfect for them!"
>You should have expected this, but you're glad she's not asking questions pertaining to the magic
"Oh, they're for... something private. I don't want very many people to see them. But they have to be sturdy. The rest I'll leave up to you."
>One thing you learn about living near ponies, lying tends to work out exactly never here. Half-truths, on the other hand...
>"Ponies, Darling, not people. However, that should be no problem at all! I know just the perfect design, I know you are just going to love it. Come back later today, and they should be done."
"And the unbound magic? I need about six thaums."
>Can't forget the part that makes the whole thing work
>"Well, that's barely any at all, Darling. Just a moment and..." Her horn glows faintly as one of the jars your holding fills a bit with a substance that keeps changing colors.
>She's right, that's only like an inch of the stuff, barely any at all
"Thanks Rares, I'll pay you when I get back."
>"Think nothing of it."
>Next stop, Fluttershy's cottage
>She's never really seemed to be afraid of you, much to everyone's surprise
>Maybe she just sees you as another animal to take care of
>Another short walk-turned-run later, and you're right in front of the small forest side house
>Knock knock, time to get a hare's hair
>"Pinkie? I thought we were meeting up later for the picnic?"
>Maybe a little less enthusiasm is needed. Calm down, Anon, have some patience, you'll be a pony too soon enough.
"Nope, sorry, just everyone's favorite human here."
>You hear some shuffling behind the door, a couple of metallic bangs, and it opens revealing yellowquiet
>"Anon! I'm glad to see you."
>Ah, always soothing to hear her voice. You're thankful the ancient greens were wrong about her being a rapist.
"I'm glad to see you too, Flutters. I just came by to see if you could get something for me real quick."
>"Oh, uh, yes Anon. What can I do to help?"
"I'm looking for a hair of a hare, and I wondering if you could get one for me."
>She looks nervous for a moment, and glances down
>Fuck, was that too weird to say outright?
>Did Twilight already figure out your plan and tell her not to give you one?
>Is your plan over before it started?
>"Well, uh, here's one." She says, tapping her hoof to her chest fluff and grabbing something with it
[spoiler]>l-lewd[/spoiler]
>Angel must've been nearby
>That makes things even easier than you thought it would be
>You quickly put the hair in the empty jar
>While you're at it, you pluck one of your own hairs and put it in the same jar
>You're not as bald as some Anon pictures, thank you very much
>She looks like she wants to ask a question, but you're relieved when she doesn't
>You give your thanks, say your goodbyes, and head back to Rarity's
>You remember her explanation to "Pinkie" and walk in without knocking.
>"Anonymous, darling, you're just in time. Take a look!"
>She magics over what looks like Mickey Mouse style gloves and a small white satchel
>At least it isn't a purse this time
"Ah, these are great! How much do I owe you?"
>You know full well how this interaction goes. The question is basically a formality.
>"Don't worry about it darling, for something that small it's on the house!"
>Thank you pseudo expected generosity.
"Aw, thanks Rares. I don't know what I'd do without you."
>Thinking about it, that's not a lie. You don't know anywhere else that'll make you clothes.
>That's gonna change real quick though.
>Putting your jars in the bag, you don your new gloves
>Oho they look ridiculous, but probably are pretty fancy to her
"Well, I have to go and get some more shopping done, so I'll see you 'round Rares."
>"Don't be too long, I have some new clothes that I want you to try on later that I'm sure you'll love!"
>Don't bet on it, you're not gonna wear another dress for her
>Next stop, Everfree Forest. Time to pick some flowers.
>It doesn't take you that long to find them, the vibrant blue stands out really well against the rest of the dark and dreary forest
>You'll never get over how out of place this whole area is
>Happy fun magic pastel horses
>Dangerous death monster forest
>Pick one, pick two, pick three of the things and jar them quickly with the hare's hair
>Not taking any chances, you immediately move away from the flowers of doom and take off your gloves in that medical way that First Aid class taught you
>Can't have any variables, you need it to be perfect
>You're finally going to be a pony
>Your second dream since coming to this place
>Walking home you realize two distinct problems:
>One, you're still not sure how you're going to get a placenta
>And Two, you're going to have to drink a placenta smoothie
>The sun starts to lower past midday, and you decide that those are problems for future Anon.
>Be future Anon
>Your realization of the placenta smoothie has actually put you off trying this out for a couple of days now
>Your resolve to become a pony overcame your disgust at eating post birth sac
>But the problem of getting the placenta hasn't moved out
>...maybe Twilight forgot about that conversation? It's been almost a week.
>Can't hurt to try
>You bet she'll not even question it if you just say "it's a secret alchemy project"
>Okay, maybe not bet, just hope
>Hope is a strong word
>You snap out of your internal quantification on hope when you notice that you're already knocking on the front door
>The purple salamander opens the door
>"Oh, hey Anon! Are you here to talk to Twilight again?"
"Yup. And you better keep quiet on the ems-jay if you want more in the future."
>"MJ? Who's that?"
"...I meant gems, Spike."
>"Spike? Who is it?" Twilight calls from somewhere behind him
>"It's Anon! And he wants to talk to you!" He yells back into the crystalline maze
>You hear her groan loudly. Not uncalled for, but ouch.
>"Let him in..."
>Spike leads you to her not-private library, where she's in the middle of reading a book by Starswirl.
>Of course.
>"What do you want this time, Anon?"
"Actually, I came for your magical knowledge, Twilight."
>Butter her up. She's bound to help you if you use her real name.
>"Well, I'm always a fan of learning, Anon. Even if I'm not the one being taught this time."
>She seems to perk up a bit. Good, now you just have to keep her off her guard.
"Well, I've been brushing up on Alchemy. I'm trying to make a potion, as a surprise for someone, but it calls for a really weird ingredient."
>She stops to think for a moment. Does that mean it's time to panic? She can't know already, can she?
>"Alchemy, huh? A really weird ingredient? What would that be?"
>This is it. Either she notices and refuses to help or she doesn't. It's go time.
>But you also have to think for a moment. Maybe you should be more specific.
>Again, it hits you that you'll have to drink it.
>Eugegh. You shudder involuntarily.
"So... I need some... biological tissue from a pony. Specifically... a placenta?"
>Her eyes narrow
>She figured you out
>Then again, it's not like you were going to get away with it
>"What in the name of Equestria would you need that for?" Or it could just be that it's a really really strange thing to want to get your hands on
"It's a surprise for a few of my friends."
>Very convincing, 100 points Anon, she'll never ask questions
>"And who might they be? What exactly is this surprise?" She's needling you for an answer. Quick, deflect!
"Well, one of them is you, so I can't tell you."
>Her brow furrows more. "Well, if it's a surprise for me..."
>Half truths, Anon. Works every time.
>"But how am I supposed to get one? And do you need a specific one?"
"I just thought the Princess of Friendship and local powerful mage would have access to weird alchemical ingredients. And also yes, a unicorn one would be preferable."
>Not gonna pass up the chance of your own magic
>Shit's cool man
>She fidgets nervously. "I dunno, Anon. Potions that require pony tissues are really hard to make, and it's even harder to get what you're asking for. It might be expensive. Are you sure you want to make whatever you're making?"
>Do not question me now, Twiggles. I need this.
"Yes, I am one hundred and ten percent sure."
>"Statistically impossible, but I can help." She resigns herself. "Come by tomorrow, and bring some bits. I have a feeling that I'm going to have to use some expensive regents.
>You decide against questioning what that means, other than she's going to help you
>And somehow doesn't think that maybe it'll cause another magic anomaly. Fucking fajitas.
"Thanks, Twi. You're the best"
>Keep buttering her up. Maybe she won't be too mad when it's all complete if you do
>In the meantime, it's time to head home and wait.
>Dawn of the final day (24 hours remain)
>Today's the daaaaaay!
>You're gonna have your final ingredient and finally be the pony you've always wanted to be
>You wonder what colors you're going to have. Maybe you'll look like that OC you made back on Earth.
>Blue unicorn with a steel-gray mane, positively adorable
>Or maybe you'll end up like those Anonfilly stories, green with a black mane
>Either way you can't wait
>Grabbing yet another empty jelly jar, your bag of bits, and your new satchel you rush over to the crystal castle
>Knock knock knock!
>Spike once again opens the door. He looks exhausted.
"Hey, Spike. You look like hell. What happened?"
>"Don't ask. Just promise you'll never ask Twilight for another one of those."
>Easy enough, you're never gonna need to again.
"Something something cupcakes eyes. I gotcha little buddy."
>"Twilight! He's here!" He yells into the castle.
>A flash of magic, and Twiggles is right there in front of you
>Holding the gross pile of reddish goop in her magic
>She looks red in the face. Surprising, she has fur.
>You pull out the empty jar, and she quickly stuffs it in.
"So, how much do you need to replace... whatever it is you did?"
>Judging by the two of them, you really don't need to know what happened.
>"157 bits. And a promise to never ever ask this again."
"Already promised to him, but yeah, flying cupcakes, something eyes."
>Damn, that's almost all of this month's earnings.
>Oh well, such is the price you pay for finally turning into a pony.
>Unicorn magic, here I come!
"Well, I'm gonna let you get back to... whatever it was you were doing. I can finally finish the potion."
>Spike shuts the door. No goodbyes? You guess whatever happened was exhausting.
>Oh well, you have the ingredients
>You rush home, and immediately pour all of them into the jar with the unbound magic
>It takes on a sickly green-blue-red color swirl.
>Now what was the next step? Ah, put it in the fridge.
>After an hour of chilling, the potion looks like a tie-die of yellow, cyan and magenta.
>You take that as the cue to shake the fuck out of the potion. The final result? It's white with streaks of light purple and a dark green.
>It's ready
>It's time
>You're hesitating
>It has a fucking horse placenta in it
>That's fucking disgusting, man
>We said we were over this!
>Of course we're not! This is fucking nasty!
>Pony. We will be a pony.
>Placenta. It has a placenta in it. The baby sac thing!
>Your inner argument is interrupted by your front door being blown to pieces with a magic beam.
>"ANON! I KNEW SOMETHING WAS UP! DO NOT DRINK THAT POTION!"
>It's Twilight. Looks like Spike squealed.
>It's now or never, Anon.
>You chug the frosty-chilled potion.
>It tastes like iron and has the consistency of runny cottage cheese
>This is horrible
>But you barely manage to finish the jar when you feel it being ripped from your hand by magic
"Too late, bookhor-"
>You wake up in a hospital
>It seems like you passed out after drinking that crap
>Aww, too bad, you wanted to see it happen. Oh well, might as well check out the effects.
>You look forward. Green muzzle, check. Looks like your second theory was right.
>Up, green horn, check. Hell yeah, unicorn time!
>Purple mane, check?
>Why is your mane the same color as Twilight's without the highlights?
>To add to your confusion, you feel a powerful twitch from muscles on your back
>Well, not on your back, but further past it but still on you
>Craning your neck you see... wings.
>Dammit now you're a Mary Sue. Gary Stu? What matters is that wasn't supposed to happen.
>There's also a hand[spoiler]hoof?[/spoiler]cuff on your foreleg
>Looking around some, you notice you're not alone.
>Twilight is sleeping on a bench in the room.
>She's also a lot bigger than you remember her
>Or you come to the much more likely conclusion that you're smaller now.
>She must sense you looking at her, as she starts to wake up
>And almost immediately stares daggers at you when she notices you're awake too
"Uh, hi?"
>"Anon, you're in deep deep trouble now."
>So much for the buttering up plan.
"Justifiable actions aside, I do have one somewhat minor but is actually major question. Why do I have wings, too?"
>"...mag...duce...ta." She mumbles.
"What?"
>"Magically induced placenta."
>Oh.
>OH.
>Fucking gross.
"So, uh, what happens now?"
>She looks at you like you're an idiot.
>"Now? You're released from the hospital and I take you to Princess Celestia. You'd better love to learn paperwork and also learn to love it too. By right of an alicorn, you're a princess."
>Princess? You didn't sign up for this royalty shit. You just wanted to be a cute little magic wielding maniac. It's not like you planned to be a- wait a minute.
>Princess. You lift the blanket that's over you.
>He's gone. Your little trooper's gone. It's like you joined a discord server.
"Oh no."
>"You should've known something like this would happen. I should've known something like this would happen. At least now someone has to keep up with the work with me." Twilight sighs in defeat.
>You decide now is a good time to start panicking.
>As you work yourself up into a frenzy of mental questions and heavy breathing, one last coherent thought goes through.
>I've won, but at what terrible cost?