>A cool autumn day in Equestria
>Be the Great and Powerful Anonymous
>You are not giving this cloak and hat back
>Not even if she asks nicely
>It's always nice watching the leaves start to fall in this time before the Running of the Leaves
>It's quiet, peaceful
>And some days, that's the way you like it
>Even if that sun is DIRECTLY IN YOUR HATEPATH
"FUCK YOU, YOU SHINING SACK OF SHIT!"
>Somehow, this makes the late morning better
>Your calm, collected, and reasonable discussion with Celestia's ward is interrupted by childish giggling
>Ah shit, they're up to something
>Following the sounds, you end up walking around your cozy house
>To find Nonny and Green sitting next to a bound and gagged Starlight Glimmer
>...this had better not be exactly what you think it is.

>Be a perfectly normal human analysis experiment gone wrong
>Better known as Nonny the unicorn
>You have a perfectly good explanation for why Commiehorse is bound and gagged
"Hey, Anon. Nice to uh... see you here?"
>Damn you tiny horse body, you're supposed to hide the nervousness
>"Nonny. Green. Why is Starlight in ropes?"
"Anon, there's a perfectly good explanation."
>"That explanation better not involve three tickets on an air-balloon ride."
"It may or may not, depending on what you consider an air balloon, a ride, and a ticket."
>He knows. Fuck.
>You subtly use your perfectly precise magic to take the tickets Green's hiding under her wing, then gently push her in front of Anon
>"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"
>As she goes flying at Mach 2 into him, you start to book it
>This plan was planned, dammit, for like a whole hour!
>It's not gonna fail now!

>Be a mess of feathers and mild pain, currently known as Green
>You're regretting not being allowed to choose a better name
>And also regretting following Nonny's plan
>"Green. What the fuck is going on?"
>Anon groans in pain, and sits up after you were launched at him like a intercontinental ballistic fillymissile
"I uh... blame Nonny?"
>"You would, wouldn't you. Starlight, game's over, you can stop with the ropes."
>What
>Starlight teleports out of the ropes you so carefully tied to make sure that she couldn't
>WHAT
>"You really didn't have to play their game."
>"Well, those two little fillies said they wanted to take me for a hot air balloon ride, and it sounded like fun. They insisted the ropes would make it more fun, but..."
"How did you? What did you? Huh?"
>"Green. I thought you'd remember by now. What do unicorns have?"
>Anon points at Starlight's horn, like it's the most obvious thing in the world
[spoiler]>Mostly because it totally is you fucking tard.[/spoiler]
>"Starlight, could you be a dear and find Nonny for me? She and Green here have just a bit of explaining and apologizing to do."
>Starlight sighs, and teleports away.
>Anon whispers in your ear
>"You forgot the magical binding, and to prep the hot air balloon beforehand. That, and she's not a dirty commie anymore. You two can have some salmon later, but I gotta save face here."
>Right. He's you. Of course he's secretly on board.

>Be Nonny again, master of minds
>And realize that you're somehow lost in Ponyville
>This place is so small! How did you manage this!?
>Shut up, we're small too now
>Fair point
>But the plan is still going! You have three tickets, a bound Pony Russian, and-
>You forgot to get SeizeTheMeansOfProduction-light
>fuck
>And you sacrificed Green already
>Fuck!
>And a there's flash of blue in front of you, causing your concentration to drop
>FUCK
"Hey Starlight..."
>She only looks mildly amused as you are teleported back to your house
>You might have to take up Twiggle's lessons again for that trick
>In front of you is... Anon holding Green by her scruff
>"Nonny."
>Yup, that's your... his I'm-tired-of-your-shit tone
>"Mind explaining to our REFORMED communist friend here what exactly what you were doing?"
>"Anon, what's a communist?" Stalinlight asks
>"Don't worry about it, Star."
>You realize there's no real escape route here
>...might as well skip to the apology.
>"Starlight, I'm sorry for trying to trick you into a wonderful hot air balloon ride."
>"Anon, how is a hot air balloon ride bad?"
>"Nonny, continue."
>Fuck, that almost worked.
"...and for planning to throw you out of that balloon for being part of the Red Menace."
>"I'm sorry too! I mean, I didn't really plan this, but I'm sorry!"
>Dammit Green, you're such a coward
>Should've just taken the fall like I planned you to!
>"Nonny, stop glaring at Glimmer. Now, Glimmy, any idea on how to give these two a proper punishment?"
>He wouldn't, he didn't
>"Well, I think that friendship is better than a punishment. I forgive you."
>So easily? You smell a trap.
>"Especially considering it wouldn't've worked anyway. I'm a unicorn too, you know."
"Huh? But... hng. Right, you can teleport. How do you even do that?!"
>Your cries of frustration are halted by Maolight's own idea
>"Oh! I could teach you! That way we'll be better friends, and you'll think more next time before trying to throw a non-pegasus out of a balloon!"
>"That's a wonderful idea, Glimglam. Still at the castle these days?"
>"Yup!"
>"I'll send her over... tomorrow morning work for you?"
>"It's perfect. I still have some things to do today, so I'll see you later Anon! You too, Green, Nonny."
>As she poofs away, you scream internally. This was not how this was supposed to go
>This is the opposite of how this was supposed to go
>And now you have to LEARN MAGIC FROM HER
>At least you still have those tickets, there's room for a next ti-
>DAMMIT YOU DROPPED THE TICKETS WHEN STARLIGHT APPEARED
>You resign to sulking for the rest of the day
>Such is life being the little green filly.