>Be gamerpon
>Be the saltier than a salt lick on a hot day
>Nobody ever goes healer
>EVER
>You are so sick of the full dps roster with no tanks
>You slap on your mic and go into team chat to yell at your teammates to get off Hoofso and Pankrat
>Just as you're about to tell them to choke on your lijiang tower, a masculine voice echoes over the line.
>"I guess I'll play healer."
>You pause, dumbstruck
"A-Are you a colt? Playing Ponywatch?"
>"Yeah...?"
>Your heart started beating fast
>Oh sun, why did this make you nervous
>You lock in your main, hoping to look cool this game
>Time to reap
>"Really...?"
>Oh fuck, you said that out loud
>You blush, thankful he can't see you
>At least you can make up for it once the round starts
>You fidget in your seat, and bite your lip as the timer counts from 5
>Maybe if you're good, he’ll give you his gamertag

>Be gamerpon
>You are doing terrible
>Like holy hell, 1 and 10 K/D terrible
>The enemy had a Fillymaker on their team and she was totes using an aimbot
>A shot wizzed past your head, painting a red line to her perch
>... 
>A subtle aimbot

>You peek the corner only to get a shot to the dome
"FUCK!"
>You get ready to yell 'NO HEALZ' when you remember it was that cute colt playing healer this game.
>Now that your post death rage had settled, you recall he'd actually healed you a lot this game.
>Saved your butt several times and you'd even got him killed by not protecting him from the enemy Whinny-ston.
>You grumble, that nervous feeling in your stomach coming back again
>He didn’t say much this whole game.
>It’d be nice if he talked to you a bit more.
>”Hey, DickVice420?”
>You jerked upright
”Yes! I mean…”
>You cleared your throat
“Sup”

>”We’re probably not going to win this one. Do you mind if we swap roles? I’ve been trying to relearn damage heroes on this version of the game.”
“N-No, not at all.”
>You did mind.
>Healer was for shitty players.
>You were much more of a Warhorse76 or McColt kind of gal, with a bit of Reins-hardt when you felt like tanking.
>But hey, you were definitely going to lose at this rate, so might as well let the colt try to do something
>Doing your best to ignore the your team’s attack Dastion typing ‘gold damage lol’ in chat, you scrolled over the support heroes.
>You couldn’t Hoovesio for your life so that meant Mare-cy.
>Anon01 spawned in next to you after his death and swapped over to Geld-ji.
>You grimace as he walks out of spawn, you following along with your husbando healer.
“Um, are you sure about that character? She’s kinda hard. Maybe do Warhorse76 or Roadhorse.”
>”Nah, this is the one I’m most comfortable with.”
>... 
>You grumble and powerboost the cyberpony as he goes in move the paycart.
>Oh well, it was a loss either way.

>Be gamerpon
>VICTORY flashes in front of your screen and you lean back, mouth dropped nearly to the floor.
>He was… a monster…
>There was no other way to describe it.
>You couldn’t even keep up with him and he tore the enemy to pieces
>You didn’t even know that character was capable of that.
>The text chat went wild
[blizz plz nerf]
[that hero. so broken lol. Can’t even win without ult.]
[Gee whiz! That was fun. Good playing!]
[How’d I end up with silver damage?]

>“Hey.”
“H-Hey.”
>Say something more you idiot!
“You did amazing. I think gamer colts are really hot”
>WHY
>You had to stop yourself from slamming your head on your desk, but he didn’t scoff or tell you to fuck off.
>He just laughed… in a nice way too.
“You didn’t do too bad yourself. You knew when to fly to me and everything. On point rez’s too. Saved my butt quite a few times. Are you a healer main? I could really use a healer I can rely on once I go into competitive mode.”
>Your heart skipped.
>He was… asking you to play with him?
>You hesitated, looking across all the skins you’d bought for damage characters and how neglected all your supports had been.
>Still… with him you’d actually had a lot of fun doing support.
>It was like cheering on your favorite sports hero and it helping them win, while you exchanged friendly banter.
>Your tail swished behind you and you subconsciously felt a small smile forming.

“I’ll heal for you.”

>”Awesome.”
[new friend invite]
>Guess you were a healslut now
>For a colt
>...
>L-Lewd

>You chuckled to yourself as you queued up alongside this strange gamer stallion
>Oh well
>Damage dealing was getting boring anyways

--

>Be Gamerpon.
>Your stomach felt like it was doing flips as you walked the convention center’s merch floor, taking constant, nervous sips from your Dr Pony.
>Somewhere among all these virgin mares and slutty cosplaying colts was your dps partner.
>Who happened to be a guy.
>I mean… no big deal really.
>He was just a friend.
>An internet friend.
>Your ears go back and you groan.
>Oh, who were you kidding.
>You had a huge crush on him at this point.
>It went from ‘oooh, colt on the interwebs?’ to really enjoying spending time together, whether that be in game or just chatting.
>At some point you started sharing most of your game time and neither of you liked hitting competitive mode without the other.
>Anon wanted to someday go pro ever since he found out Equestria had a huge E-league, and by Luna, he could do it.
>Apparently where he grew up, it wasn’t nearly as big.
>He said Equestria took it nearly as serious as Koh-Ree-Hah.
>You were sure he was just mispronouncing Cowrea, but it was cute so you weren’t going to stop him.

>You blink and pause amidst the throng of ponies.
>Odd that he mispronounced it actually.
>You would have figured with how he played, he must have been from Crowrea.
>Would that make him a bull instead of a colt?
>You hadn’t even considered it before now.
>No, can’t be...
>He talked and acted like a typical Equestrian mare if anything.
>But he was too strange to be a native.
>Anon didn’t get some things about herd courting, and didn’t swear on Goddess Luna, but he knew some of the history of the mane six.
>Way too rough and tumble to be a pony colt though.
>What if he were a dragon colt?
>Your tail twitched involuntarily.
>Ooh...
>You’d read predator x prey neighponese stories before.
>They even sold a few here in the adult section.
>Would he pin you to a bed and lick his lips if he got you alone?
>Ugh, what the heck were you thinking.
>You shake the thoughts from your head and clear your throat.
>Sun, all the eye candy at cons always revved your engine.
>You’d have to rub one out tonight for sure.
>Maybe you’ll pick up a few volumes of that new vine monster blu ray.
>Ooh, or maybe something real raunchy—[Spoiler]Monogamy[/Spoiler]

>You turned quickly and bumped into someone, causing you to spill a bit of dark sticky soda onto your tuft.
>Mother of—!

“Hey, watch where you’re going, you stupid bitc—”
>Your eyes widened and the words died in your throat.
>Right in front of your snout was the crotch of some strange bipedal creature.
>And were they certainly no bitch.
>You craned your neck back and your eyes traced over it’s form, taking particular note of how much clothing it had on.
[Spoiler]>L-Lewd.[/Spoiler]
>The creature wore boots with jingling spurs, crotchless chaps over jeans, an armor chest piece, a cloak draped over its left side and a cowboy hat lined with bullet shells.
>You dropped your drink.
>Oh my Luna…
>Rule63 McColt cosplay.
>But not just that!
>He was a human!
>You’d heard a handful of humans lived in Equestria, but you thought that was just a bunch of nonsense spread around by mares who liked neighponese human x mare content, and couldn’t handle the fact their husbando was a fairytale.
>Goddamn /mlh/
>Yet there he was, in all his kinky-cute glory.
>Your wings betrayed you as they steadily rose.

>He tilted his head at you.
>“Oh sorry, I sometimes bump into you guys if I’m not watching right in front of me. I’m looking for a friend and I guess I wasn’t paying enough attention.”

>Your mouth dropped as you recognized his voice.
“A-Anon01!?”

>He blinked then recognition dawned on his face.
>“Oh, wow, that’s lucky. I didn’t know how I’d find you without knowing what you looked like. How’s it hanging, DickVice?”

>Some of the mares gave you some strange looks and you gave a nervous laugh.
“Uh, just call me Table Flip.”

>He gave an adorable little snort and laughed.
>“Suits you.”

“Y-Yeah so!”
>You puffed up your cheeks and crossed your hooves over your chest.
“I wouldn’t get mad if our teammates didn’t play like retarded triple amputees.”
>You blush.
>Way to prove his point, Flip
“A-Anyways, what’s your real name? I mean… Y-You don’t have to tell me or anything. I could care less and stuff but if you want, ya know...”

>“Anonymous Incognito. Just like my screenname,” he said with a smile as he reached down and ruffled your mane.
>You grumbled and gave him a look that said ‘I’ll bite you if you keep that up’ but your heart sank when he pulled his hand away.
>“So I heard there was a PC arcade set up. I want to try RainbowStrike:Siege and see if it’s what I think it is. Now where do you think they have it set up?”
>Anon straightened up and looked over the heads of the crowd, trying to spot a good exit.

>Meanwhile you couldn’t help but take in his masculine scent.
>With all those clothes on in a thick crowd, he had the tiniest bit of musk mixed with all the mares that had likely tried to subtly rub on him in tight crowds.
>After wading through crowds of dusty mares, just being near him was like breathing in pure sex.
>You bit your lip as you pawed the ground.
>Luna above, what you’d give to see him in those chaps without the jeans under them.

>You let out a small eep and folded your tail over your hindquarters as you felt a wetness dripping down your inner thigh.
>It’s not your fault, really.
>This dry spell was killing you is all.
>You paused and tilted your head.
>Actually your whole life was a dry spell.
>...
>Which of course was why you were eye fucking your cute-as-tartarus gamebuddy while he wasn’t looking.
>You weren’t a degenerate or anything.
>NOPE.
>This was just an extreme circumstance.
>You could totes sit here and be a gentlemare… with his crotch at eye level, covered by layers of lewd-ass clothing, and not think about how much you’d like to feel HIS caduceus staff fill you up to cap with a hot healing stream.
>N-No problemo.
>I mean really it was Anon’s fault for wearing something so Celestia damned hot and being blind and innocent like usual about it.
>Any other colt would be whoring it up with photos or at least be on their guard around a mare a bit more.
>Not Anon though.
>Poor guy was pure as freshly driven snow. 
>It didn’t even register with him, when mares flirted with him in game.

>“Oh, I think it’s over there!” Anon said pointing toward an area with a security guard checking IDs
>He grabbed you and you let out a small sound of surprise as he put you up on his shoulders.
>You gulp, hoping he doesn’t feel any dampness on his neck as you grip your forehooves around his forehead.
>The two begin to part through a sea of virgins and cosplay whores.
>Several mares gave his crotch a few too-long glances before you cleared your throat and glared at them.
>Most looked up at you and flinched while others scrunched and turned away.
>Thas right fillies, look away!
>For the most part, his sheer presence parted a path and you get there faster than you could have hoped alone.
>Dang… you should ride sexy humans more often.
>[spoiler]Th-That's what he said[/spoiler]
>The mino guard checked IDs and you found yourself headed into a wing with game rooms.

>“Whoa… they have way more than I thought.” Anon said as he looked around. “Is that… oh my God, they have a room for Magic: The Gather—wait... that says Magic:The Galloping. Ugh, that’s so painful, but still! You guys have my favorite card game.”

>You quirked an eyebrow at that.
“You play? Did you buy like a duel deck or something?”

“I’ve bought them but I usually purchase singles and play a bunch of different colors. Blue’s my favorite.”

>You smirk.
>”Pfff, Blue? Why not play a real color with some power behind it. RDW is called Red Deck Wins for a reason. Burn spells for days.”

>He laughed and starts down the game hall.
“We’ll see how invincible your precious RDW is later. If you guys have some of the same cards that i used to play with, I may give you a run for your money. For now I want to see about that arcade.”

>”Bring it on anytime, scrub. Just don’t cry when you lose on turn four!”

>”Oh I’m DEFINITELY going to have to introduce you to my “No” deck.”

>The two of you banter as you walk on, picking up a few stares from mares as you go.
>After a minute you realize they aren’t just checking out Anon—they’re looking at both of you.
>Your gaze scanned across the crowd, skittish mares stealing glances at him then you before heading off into the mass of ponies.
>Were they... jealous?

>You noticed a mare with camera look over at Anon, then to you before fidgeting with her gear for a moment and heading toward another sluttily dressed, posing colt.
>Oh, you get it now.
>Anon would have gotten tons of photo requests by thirsty sunhat tippers by now.
>But you looked like a couple so most of them were afraid to ask or flirt with your husbando.

>A smirk forms across your lips and you puff your chest out a bit, spreading your tuft.
>Is this what being an alpha feels like?
>Imagine that… you and Anon, together...
>You frowned and looked down at your meager chest tuft and ran a hoof through it a few times to fluff it up a bit.
>Really wasn’t much honestly and still had a bit of soda stuck to it.
>Beyond your tuft, you were on the small side, your hips were a bit wide, and your gaming lifestyle had left you with a bit of cushion in your flank and thighs.
>You sighed.
>No colts went for mares like that.
>Maybe you should diet a bit… cut out the Mountain Dew and Doritos or something.
>It was too late now though, since you’d only get to see Anon for a few more days.
>Dammit, why couldn’t you just have slim flanks like mares in those movies.

>You’re broken from your thoughts as your forehead hits the top of a doorframe with a clunk.
“Ow—!”

>”Oh my gosh, I’m sorry Flip, are you okay?” Anon said, quickly ducking down and standing you on the floor in front of him.

>You fought back tears forming at the corners of your eyes and cleared your throat.
“Pff, th-that was nothing.”

>“Uh… you sure about that? You look like you’re going to cry.”

“N-Nope,” you said, voice cracking a bit.

>He gave you a smug grin then scooped you up and leaned you against his chest with your head looking over his shoulder.
>Before you could protest, he ran his hand along your back and headed toward a set of machines.
>S-Stupid Anon… he would go full Dad-mode on you.
>Meanwhile you felt the stare of every mare in the room, some likely disgusted by a colt carrying his supposed marefriend, but you caught others that looked jealous.
>The sense of pride from earlier soured as you realized how you looked like a foal.

“Anon, l-let me down please. I’m fine and this is sorta not okay.”
>He gently lay you down in a seat next to him at two machines and you looked up at his puzzled expression.

>”Is this one of those pony taboos?”

>You fidgeted with your hooves.
“Sorta. I just... nevermind, let’s just play a game already.”

>Anon stared at you for a moment, then turned and put his paycard information as you got yours from your pack.
>After logging in, a giant library of titles met your gaze and your eyes lit up.
>Holy bugbears, this was like a candy store for mares like you.
>One catches your eye immediately and you gasp.

“Ooh! They have the new Kuddly Instinct. That game is brutal.”

>Anon furrowed his brow and his mouth worked for a moment.
>“Doesn’t sound like a game one would call brutal...  Is it a fighting game by any chance?”

“Yeah, how’d you know? I didn’t take you for a KI fan.”

>”I’m not. Technically I’ve never heard of it, but let’s just say I had a hunch from the name. You want to give it a go?”

“Weren’t you going to play RainbowStrike? Besides I thought you didn’t like fighting games.”

>”I don’t HATE them. I just think they take too long to learn. But I’d rather play something together.”

>You blinked and your hoof stopped mid click.
>A warm tickly feeling welled up in your chest and your tail wagged a bit.
>D-Darnit, Anon, why’d you have to go and say something like that.
>You found yourself stealing a glance over at him.

>He’d already loaded up the game and was busy studying the control map.
>Anon glanced down at the pony gamepad, frowned, then looked back the diagram again, scrunching his nose in frustration.
>Holy tartarus, you couldn’t handle that level of cute right now!
>He flicked his gaze over to you, almost making you jump out of your seat.
>”Oh, sorry. Were you waiting on me?”

“No, I was just looking,” you said, and your eyes widened to dinner plates.
“I MEAN YES. ACTUALLY NO. Er, just…”
>Think you dummy!
>You took a deep breath and blurted the first thing that came to mind.
“Connect to me and let’s throw down, bitch!”

>Anon stared at you for several agonizing seconds, as you screamed internally 
>It felt like your stomach dropped out the moment you realize what you just said.
>Oh dear goddess Luna… please kill me.

>Finally he shrugged and looked to the control map
>“Sure. I guess I have it down well enough. Give me a few pointers as I go and I’ll probably figure things out.”

>Oh… yeah, that’s right!
>Even if you were a total dork, you’d look cool if you helped Anon learn.
>That happened… almost never, but the few times he’d played healer, you gave him some tips and he was really thankful.
>You lock in your character and stifle and excited squeal.
>This was gonna to be great.

--

>This was not how you pictured playing Kuddly Instinct with Anon would go.
>What you had in your head was something like that classic ‘help the colt learn to putt’ thing where the mare got to hold their stallion on a casual date, but this was… not that.
>And it wasn’t because vidya worked completely different and trying to do that with Anon’s size was borderline impossible.
>It was something else entirely.

>Given Anon was… Anon, he seemed to attract awkward mares like shit attracts flies.
>Behind you stood about five different mares all giving him pointers and telling him all about the mechanics while cheering him on against you.
>Meanwhile you’d discovered Anon was total balsa tier at KI.
>His timing and reactions were incredible and he had the controls down well enough for a first timer, but he just couldn’t seem to grasp the mechanics.
>He constantly whiffed heavy moves right in front of you, and couldn’t seem to combo for his life.
>You’d even gotten a few perfects in by blocking and punishing his long recovery attacks.
>Joking around with him over it earned you some withering glares from the mares and you’d since let him get at least a few hits in per match.
>Even let him win one to get them to shut the heck up already, but Anon firmly told you to knock it off right after.
>That made you feel pretty crappy.

>Few things got Anon rustled but he hated when people gave him an easy win.
>May Luna spare the next mare who throws a fight expecting him to be thankful for such a gentlemarely gesture.
>The way he saw it, he wasn’t going to get better if you didn’t play right.
>So play right you did, for all twenty rounds.

>Anon finally slapped his head on the desk.
>He placed the controller next to his head and let out a groan.

“Anon, you okay?” you said fidgeting with your hooves near your chest.

>”Yeah just… give me a second. It’s been a long time since I got my butt fucked so hard.”

>The mares behind scrunched at his word choice, some blushing and flicking their tails.
>One of them said ‘you can do that to me if you want’ under their breath.
>You thought about socking them in the face but it didn’t look like Anon heard it.
>No need to draw his attention to the remark.

>”Come on, you did okay, colt. Chin up,” one said nudging his shoulder.

>You puffed up your cheeks.
>Hey! Cheering up Anon after a loss was your job!
>As you got up and glared at the mare, a pony behind you at another station spoke up.

>>“Let it go, you white knights. S’just a typical gae-mer colt here to get attention.” 

>You whirled around, fire in your eyes, teeth bared.
>Who the fuck just said that about your husbando?!
>Who’s the slimy little capitalist shit twinkle-toed clit sucker who just signed her own death warrant?

>Your eyes fell on a Yellow coated mare with an off-white mane, slouching in her seat and lazily disarming a bomb before her character got popped in the head.
>She scoffed and clicked on her mic as the ‘round lost’ screen appeared.
>>”Can only carry so hard, kiddies. You guys are the reason the genepool needs a lifeguard.”
>Mic symbols flashed onscreen from the other players as they yelled at her over coms.

>The mare sitting next to her, a blue and green pegasus logged out and gave a snort.
>>>“Shit game. Shit team. Let’s get ready for the tournament already.”

>They both turned to you and the first sneered when she saw your expression.
>>“Oh what? Little Knighty mare gonna defend her village saddle’s honor? Tell me I’m being a meanie? If I were you I’d let it go. It’s better to let people think you’re an idiot than open your mouth and prove it.”

>Your nostrils flared
>OH IT’S ON, FILLY.
>A growl rose in your throat and you marched right up to the first dumb bitch, ready to give her a haymaker before a pair of hands wrapped around your barrel and pulled you up.
>You squirmed against Anons chest, partially to get him to let go, partially from embarrassment for getting lifted so easily by a colt.

“GUh! Non, lemme go. She’s asking for it! How are you not mad when she talks to you that way?” you said, your voice filled with ire.

>“Flip, chill out. We’ll get kicked out of the con,” Anon said.

>>”Listen to the colt, Flippy,” the first mare said, smirking at you. “Because I have neither the time nor the crayons to explain it to you.”

>REEEEEEEEEEEE.
>DEATH—THIS MARE WISHED FOR DEATH!
>You writhed and growled as you fought to get free from Anon, but his grip was too strong.
>Jeez, what did they feed this stallion?