>It'd been a few years since the portal to earth had opened
    >Years after first contact, years after all the diplomatic talks, years after trade was established
    >Years after the "internet" came to Equestria
    >A human invention that would revolutionize the whole world!
    >Or so you thought
    >Turns out, it didn't change much. It just made ponies visit your library less often since most books were digitalized
    >By you and other archivists
    >... Mostly you
    >You still kept original copies though, nothing could compare to holding a physical book
    >You aren't a big fan of all these screens, hopefully they ca-
    >"Twilight where are you?! I'm dying over here!"
    >You sigh as you return your attention back to the computer screen
    >Rainbow wasn't dying, not literally, just in the game you two were playing
    >Dash had gotten a little obsessed with this specific human computer game
    >You woke up one morning to find her sitting in front of your library computer, apparently having installed the game overnight
    >It's a public library, and the computer was technically meant to be used by visitors so... You guessed it was alright
    >Curious to see how she had managed to figure how to install a game, you looked through the search history
    >She'd apparently clicked on every website that'd promised "free" copies of the game until she found the correct one
    >Later, you discovered that the game was already free
    >After cleansing the computer from everything she managed to infect it with, she practically begged you to let her play every now and then
    >Every now and then turned into every other day
    >Then every day
    >You briefly thought of charging her to use the computer
    >But no, you didn't have it in you
    >That's more something Applejack would do
    >In the end, you decided to just buy a second computer for the library... Out of your own pocket
    >Figurative pockets, hypothetical even
    >It was pretty cheap, apparently it's easier to make them in Equestria due to how prevalent magical enchantments are
    >As always, magic proves its superiority
    >When Rainbow saw it the first thing she said was to get you to install the game so you could play with her
    >"TWILIGHT!"
    >Why was she yelling at you? You've had your healing beam on her this entire ti-
    >"Rainbow" turns invisible in front of you, leaving you and saying "Good job"
    >Running to the frontlines you find rainbow jumping around a Heavy
    >You manage to get your healing beam on her in time for her to be hit by a couple stray bullets
    >She survives thanks to you and takes down the Heavy
    "Sorry, I was healing the other players"
    >Technically true
    >Good thing you aren't honesty
    >You only got tricked by that spy because you weren't paying attention
    >Even though you only really play this game to spend time with Rainbow, but you'd like to think you're getting better at it!
    >Not as good as Rainbow though
    >She takes every match so seriously...
    >She even spent money on the game
>Rainbow "Drops by to her friends' houses during lunch so she can mooch off of them" Dash spent bits on something other than Wonderbolts merchandize
>She bought "cosmetics"
>She tried to get you to buy a few, but you don't see the logic behind paying for something that doesn't actually exist
>All her cosmetics were painted in different colors, in an attempt to imitate her rainbow hair
>Rainbow had even bought an "unusual", which was just a more expensive hat with floating stuff around it
>It sat atop her character's head; A ball cap with a little raincloud
>Dash really liked it
>She asked rarity to make her a ball cap to match her digital counterpart, almost a perfect replica of the game's model
>Then she asked you to enchant it
>Which you promptly refused after spending a good minute explaining the intricate and volatile nature of elemental based enchantments to Dash
>You don't think she really listened to your explanation
>But she hasn't asked you to enchant her hat again
>Which was good, since you made most of that up
>Making a lightly drizzling raincloud that could absorb the moisture from the air around it didn't sound too taxing of an enchantment
>But Dash didn't need to know that
>She'd just leave the hat on while she plays on your computer and drench your wooden floor
>It's wood, it's not supposed to be soaking wet
>You think
>Maybe it just waters the living tree?
>But you don't want to risk ruining the floor
>It's still public property, even if you live in it an-
>"TWILIGHT DO YOUR BUCKING JOB AND HEAL ME!"
>Jeez, rude
>You'll talk to her about her attitude when playing the game, later
>Right now she's in "gamer" mode and will be unreasonable
>Though, maybe your mind is wandering off a bit too much today
>You're just not feeling it today, but logged in anyway to test the recent upgrades you bought for your server
>That's right! YOUR server!
>Dash was tired of playing with humans, so she looked into what it would take to host a server
>Then she got bored and asked you to look into it so you two could "Make a super awesome pony only hang out server away from the monkeys"
>You did, it didn't take long to set up
>You thought that only a handful of ponies would even join, barely enough for a few matches
>But dash apparently knew a couple of ponies that played the game
>And those ponies knew other ponies
>And so on and so forth, in the end, the server became a fairly popular pony hang out spot, just like dash said!
>Everypony was well behaved, so you didn't really need any rules of conduct for the server
>It was just a game after all
>There was one real rule however: No humans
>...
>Hopefully that doesn't spark some xenophobia case against the two of you, humans would understand right?
>Talking to a newly discovered sapient species was fun and interesting
>It was a once in a generational opportunity
>But it's been years since first contact
>You've done all the research you wanted, cataloged all aspects of their world, wrote and published multiple papers about their culture...
>And over the years, you've found out that you just prefer the company of other ponies
>...
>You're not racist
>That's more Applejack's thing
>Despite your efforts, some humans tried to join your server, some more sneakily than others
>Luckily, Rainbow had developed a simplistic, yet efficient method of weeding out the humans
>"Hey you, the red soldier, are you a pony? 'PonyHole' I'm talking to you, answer me!"
>It wasn't as elegant as you'd like. But, surprisingly, it was effective enough to keep humans out
>Most of them... probably
>There's probably a couple of players that are actually humans, but you couldn't do much about that.
>It's not like you could ask them to post hooves, that'd be lewd
>And being honest, you don't mind most humans, the ones that made no trouble anyway
>It was Dash who wanted every single human out
>She was way brasher than she needed to be, but given her past experience with humans, it was understandable
>Not acceptable, but understandable
>She has... a history with them
>She'd become an icon to the humans
>At first Rainbow was over the moon, a whole species that couldn't get enough of her!
>Then she found out that, rather than being considered the pinnacle of awesomeness and athleticism as she thought herself as, the humans thought of her more akin to a... Sex symbol
>Even then, she was still flattered
>For a while
>She'd boast about being "The sexiest mare in two universes"
>Then came the "merchandize" of herself, anatomically accurate
>You'll say, humans got pretty close to the real thing
>After getting a pardon from the princess for trying to sabotage the portal to earth, she decided every human was, suddenly and collectively, revolting
>And she never thought they were cool in the first place, and everypony who said otherwise was just another smelly monkey
>She got into a lot of online fights over that
>You're snapped out of your reminiscence by Dash's voice cracking over the mic, still trying to question the newcomer
>She had the worst mic quality out of everyone in the server
>It was her headset and mic combo with shiny lights
>Her favorite, unfortunately
>"YOU MOTHERBUCKER ANSWER ME! I KNOW YOU'RE HUMAN! TWILIGHT, BAN THIS GUY!"
"Dash, it could just be a very shy pony you're harassing, imagine if someone like fluttershy was playing this game, she'd be terrified of you! Besides, how do you even know that it's a human?"
>As if to prove you wrong, a masculine voice came in through the in game voice chat
>"UNF DASHIE PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP PLA- "
>He kept repeating the word "plap" non-stop, very loudly
>"TWILIGHT!"
>Rainbow yelled at you, making your ears ring, the echo of hearing her both in game and next to you, disorienting you for a moment
>She was turned away from the game, staring directly at you, her cheeks red from a mixture of what you assume is both rage and embarrassment
>With practiced motions, you open the game's console and start typing the required commands for the ban
>As you do, you mindlessly start mouthing along every "plap"
>He had a good rhythm going, though you have to stop for a bit to catch your breath
>How can he keep going for so long without rest?
>Human stamina
>You chuckle, they boast about that a lot. Although field reports vary
>With a sigh, you press enter, and as soon as you do, the plaps stop and a message appears in the game's text chat
>[SM] Player "PonyHole" was banned. Reason: Plap
>Rainbow turns around and returns to the game her scowl never leaving her face
>You knew she hated your ban reason names, even more that you kept track of them
>And doubly so that they were displayed on the game chat for all the server to see
>But transparency was important
>You tab out of the game to look at your personal worksheet you kept the server's statistics that you kept track of
>Under "ban reasons", you increased the "Plap" section from 54 to 55, making it the most banned offense
>In second place stood "I want to cum inside Rainbow Dash"
>And closely followed in third was "Crusty Cunt"
>When questioned about that particular one she just scowled at you with a blush
>Statistics were always useful, maybe you could get something useful out of Rainbow's newfound vice