>Anonmare stared across the table at the green stallion sitting opposite of her. >The two of them were seated underneath a parasol in the outdoor area of one of the cafés in town, waiting for their order. >It was a fairly nice early afternoon, ponies were laughing and talking as they went about town. >The sun was shining but a refreshing breeze was keeping the summer heat away. >She and Anonstallion had been in Equestria for a couple of months now, just long enough to get comfortable really. >The townsponies had been gracious enough to get them set up in one of the disused cottages at the edge of town. >They had also both been lucky, neither one of them were an excessive troublemaking shithead. >The two of them had been enraptured by the sights and experiences all around them since their arrival. >The genuine kindness of the ponies, the quaint architecture of the town, the fresh air and liveliness of nature all around them. >Getting used to the hooves and all was a little awkward, but they had figured it out quick enough. >Yeah they had a lot of questions about why and how they were here, in the end they just said fuck it and decided to roll with it. >Whatever the odds, they had agreed to make the most of the opportunity that presented itself. >Even finding work had gone far more smoothly than she had expected it to. >But now, today, they were here. >They often met up to eat together or just hang out whenever they had spare time. >Talk about all the cute mares and how their days were going, planning places to check out or events and activities they could attend. >This time was a little different. >Anonmare's expression was neutral when she finally spoke up. "...you want us to get married." >He smiled awkwardly and rubbed the back of his neck while avoiding her gaze. >"W-Well, yeah... I know it's a bit sudden, it's just that I've been thinking and..." >And? >To be honest, she had expected him to try and rape her the moment they had woken up here together. >He didn't, he didn't even try to make a move on her, flirt or be suggestive, the entire time they were together. >His proposition was casual and came practically out of nowhere. >"...we've been having such a good time together, and you're kinda cute, it... it feels like the right move, y'know?" >Anonmare was incredulous. "...Out of all the wonderful, beautiful mares you COULD be asking out, you're asking to marry ME?" "Not even ask out, legit just skipping straight to marriage. You KNOW I'm a guy, right?" >The stupid stallion's ears folded back and he blushed pathetically. >"S-Sorry! I keep forgetting. You've seen and heard yourself, it's too easy to think of you as.. one of them." >They had been over this several times when first getting to know one another. >Every time he would inevitably wind up talking to her like she was a mare. >Eventually she just gave up on correcting him. >It was less confusing for the other ponies anyway. >"B-Besides, it's not gay if you really are a mare-" >She closed her eyes, rested her hoof squarely on the bridge of her snoot and took a deep breath. "For fucks sake Anon... you know I don't care about that shit. I'm just confused, alright? What changed? Did something happen?" >Before Anonstallion could respond, the stallion that was their waiter arrived, both eyebrows raised. >"Sir.. Madame.. two daisy sandwiches, two carrot smoothies?" >Anonmare nodded and the waiter placed their order in front of them. >"Please enjoy." >And he was gone. >Anonmare picked up her sandwich and started eating while Anonstallion just fidgeted his hooves. >After a moment he settled down and began slurping his smoothie. >What the fuck was she going to do with this faggot... === >It had been a solid minute without him saying anything. >He seemed to be content to let her eat before continuing the conversation and that was fine as far as Anonmare was concerned. >She watched him having his half of their meal, watched him trying very hard to look in any direction other than hers. >At one point he nearly knocked over his smoothie glass with a shaky movement of his hoof. >The guy wasn't joking, in fact he must have been way more nervous about his little proposal than she had given him credit for. >By the time she was finished with her sandwich, the comfy town atmosphere had eased away the last of her alarm over the whole thing. >This didn't need to be a big deal. "Hey. Anon. Relax. Just talk to me buddy." >He gave her a shy smile and actually looked at her for a moment before looking away again. >"Y-Yeah... I mean- no- nothing happened. I've been feeling amazing lately, being here- it's like a dream come true-" >He was right about that. They'd talked about it plenty of times. Here, they were finally free to actually just... live. >"-and I got to share it with you. Not just by myself... yeah, I would have been happy on my own, too, but-" >He took probably the biggest deep breath Anonmare had ever seen. >"The ponies, they don't know about Earth, about the show, about the fandom or the board. If we tried to explain it to them, they'd think we were crazy." >"But YOU know. You understand me, you understand why this is so special. And I think..." >That... >"That I love you." >Okay, it was a big deal. >Anonmare could feel herself tense up. >Part of her wanted to kick Anonstallion in the balls and get out of there. >Which would be a pretty rude thing to do to the pony who was essentially her best friend right now. >He didn't deserve that. >"Listen, just hear me out-" >She had the straw of her smoothie in her mouth and was drinking it probably a little faster than she should have been. >Anonstallion looked like he was going to have a heart attack. >"We're already living together. We go on dates-" "-we hang out, as friends. They're not dates. We agreed-" >"-that we would be better off exploring Equestria together-" "-because it was convenient. It's easier having-" >"-someone you can count on when everything is weird and new." >... >A couple of passing mares noticed them and were nudging each other, giggling and whispering. >A stallion at another table was giving Anonstallion a look of utmost sympathy. >Maybe this wasn't the best place to be doing this right now. "Let's just drop this for a minute. Finish your sandwich." >Anonstallion was visibly deflated, but he nibbled away shakily while Anonmare pulled her bag out from under the table and rummaged for a bit to leave to the waiter. >"You're tipping again.." "Yeah." >Soon enough they were on their hooves again, saddlebags fastened and ready to move on. "C'mon, we're going to the park." >Anonstallion gave her a quizzical look but was too busy struggling with his apparent despair to argue. >Nopony was paying them any attention now. >The meandering walk through the streets did wonders for her peace of mind. >It never got old. Cosy storefronts, planters filled with colourful flowers, asiles of leafy green trees, the sound of hooves on cobble, the smiles and frequent hellos and howdys from everypony she crossed. >If she listened carefully, at every corner she could hear a rhythm playing. >She smiled. Not even the faggot's sulking could ruin this. >Speaking of, the poor guy seemed like he wasn't doing too-too bad when she turned her head to check on him. >A little resigned maybe, but he wasn't dragging his hooves as he followed behind. >Of course normally he would be walking WITH her, not just trailing her like a lost puppy. >She slowed down so he could come up alongside her. >When he looked up at Anonmare, she returned the look. >Somehow that was enough to perk him back up. >"...We checked with every place we've been to. You don't have to tip." "Psh- shut up, I'll do what I want. I already told you why I do it." >"You want them to feel appreciated. I get it. For everything they gave us over the years." >"But that doesn't explain why you also paid when it was my turn." >Anonmare rolled her eyes. "Because I could. But if I had KNOWN you were going to confess then I would have let you go right ahead." >Well, that shut him up. Okay 'Mare, pull it back a bit. Ugh, why did he have to ask an annoying question like that anyway? "Besides, if the year is right, that means Rarity hasn't been born yet, so SOMEPONY has to pick up the slack." >Anonstallion snorted. That was enough to spur him into playful mocking. >"How very humble of you." >She smirked. That was more like it. >"You have good qualities you know. I admire you. Really." >Well fuck. Nevermind then. Anonmare grumbled and decided that suddenly the scenery was more interesting than Anon's bleeding heart. >They were getting close to the park now anyway. Whatever. It was a nice compliment, she just hated the connotation that went with it. >Anonmare's mind drifted as her hooves led the way. >She wasn't trying to be generous earlier. She wasn't. She just owed a debt and paying it meant seeing ponies happy. >Plus, throwing bits around made her feel like she was in control. There was nothing generous about that, it was selfish. >Did Anonstallion really find that appealing, or what? >He could have stepped up and stopped her, insisted it was his turn, but he didn't, so why bother bringing it up? >The arrangement was useful when they were more strapped for cash and trying to be fair about it. >If it wasn't necessary anymore then it didn't matter. >Her mind churned with excuses, but in the end she had to admit that today she just felt like it. >Felt like paying for him. >That was all, it didn't need to be complicated, there were no bells or whistles attached to what she did. >But maybe Anonstallion had read it differently- no, obviously he had. >Did he think that she liked him? Is that where this came from? It was wishful thinking on his part. >You do like him. >Shut the fuck up brain. You retarded piece of shit. He's my ponybro. I'm looking out for my ponybro. >Like OBVIOUSLY checking out mares and having a good time is more fun together. >Do you see any watch streams around here? Any cons? Literally any other anon? >THIS is what she had, and she was going to hold onto it as best as she could. >Why did he have to get so weird about it all of a sudden? >Because you're a mare. >Thank you captain obvious. Yes, it was because she was a mare. Yes, she would probably have tried to tap 'this' if she had been the stallion instead. >She let out a loud frustrated groan, startling Anonstallion whom for a moment she had forgotten was still beside her. >"Erm. You alright?" >He was genuinely concerned. "No. Look, we're here." >They passed by the railings that marked the boundary of the town park, the clip-clop of their hooves giving way to the sound of fine gravel crunching underhoof. >This place was a little more built up than say Ponyville, but the ponies here still put a large emphasis on being close to earth and nature. >There were plenty of little green spaces and gardens everywhere in town, but this park in particular had been carefully zoned early on. >It was cute how eager some of the ponies were to talk about the town's history- they were proud of it, and they had every reason to be. >It wasn't small, and a lot of community effort went into maintaining it all. >Anonmare led Anonstallion off the path pretty much immediately, feeling the warm soft grass under her hooves as she skirted the bloom of flowers that greeted this entrance. "See this? This is worth admiring. Not me." >Anonstallion furrowed his brow as he followed her, taking in the colours, watching the little bees coming and going. >"I do. And you are. I love this place, I come here too you know? Besides, you're part of this now- I know you don't really talk about your job, but I, uhm.." >She gave him a suspicious glance. She knew what he was going to say. >"I thought it was.. kind of adorable when you decided to become a flowermare." >She gagged a little. "Don't get the wrong idea faggot. I-" >"You don't have to explain yourself Anon, it's okay." >But she did. To herself. "I wanted to do something that mattered alright? Something that wasn't like anything that I did back on Earth. Something that a pony would do." >Something that a cute mare would do. >Anonmare gritted her teeth and pushed that intrusive thought into the woodchipper. >Really, there was nothing wrong with the job. It was nice actually. >Her boss was a friendly mare who ran one of the flower shops in the town. >Anonmare would follow her around doing rounds, checking on all the flowerboxes, planters and gardens that were under her boss' jurisdiction, which did include parts of this park as well, yes. >Watering, picking, sorting, talking to customers, handling orders and deliveries, tidying the shop, whatever the flowerboss wanted. >It was essentially an apprenticeship, her boss even loaned her books on flowers and garden cultivation and stuff AND she got paid. >Almost sickening how good it was. How much faith that pony put in her. And all she did was walk in and ask if she was looking for full-time help. >That's when she felt in her heart just how strongly she wanted to do this. >Meanwhile Anonstallion was doing some dumb job pulling carts around with a bunch of other stallions. Hah! >She WAS proud of herself, but somehow when the faggot mentioned it, she felt gross. And she didn't know why. >You don't want him to hit on you. Just tell him you're not interested. >...... >You DON'T want that, right? >"Anon?" "Huh?" >"Are you listening..? You had this really serious expression and were spacing out.." "Wha? Oh. Yeah I guess I was." >She realised she had been standing there staring into the colourful arrangement before her. >Idly she raised a hoof to touch the flowers, carefully caressing them. >For a second she didn't care what Anonstallion thought. >They were still near the entrance and a few ponies were coming and going, one mare perked when she saw them. >"Hiya Ms Anon, Mr Stallion! They're beautiful right?" The flowers. >"Oh, um, hey Miss Touché." 'Mr Stallion' was doing his best to act like everything was fine. >Anonmare recognised the pony as one who liked throwing little get togethers. She'd held one for her and Anon as a kind of welcome party. >Not exactly a Pinkie level affair, but it was very sweet. She also ran the town's debate club. "Hiya Tea, yeah, they are. I love them." >Tea gave her such a happy little smile, 'Mare couldn't help but genuinely smile back. >"I'm sorry I've gotta run, I hope you have a nice day!" "Yeah, you too!" >With a little parting wave Tea was off trotting into town, off living her little mare life, leaving the two anonponies to continue their.. thing. "You see that Anon? I'm not that. I'll never be that. We're both better off finding a mare who can make us happy." >Anonstallion poked sullenly at the grass and looked around, searching aimlessly. He had no other answers. >"I already found one Nonny..." >She sighed. >This was impossible, she wasn't going to convince him there were better options, there was only one pony that really meant something to him right now. >Her choices were to either embrace whatever this was, or to grind his heart into the dirt. She hated it. Each had consequences she didn't want to commit to. >All she could do was keep stalling and hope she could find the right way forward out of this. "The spot I wanted to bring you to isn't far now. We'll.. We'll figure this out. I'll figure this out." >There was that concerned expression again. Like he was worried she was going to break down or something. >She WAS acting strange, she realised that. A few words had turned her lunch break with her friend into a twisting labyrinth of fear and uncertainty. >But this world kept pulling her back out of it, grounding her, reassuring her. Like no matter what she chose, there would be a happy ending, eventually. >Anonmare brought them further into the park, passing a statue of the town's founders. A mare and a stallion. >She couldn't bring herself to look at the inscription written on the base. >They passed fountains and sculptures, crossed over pathways, wove around hedges, stepped through the shade of old trees. >Most of the route kept them on the green lawns. She wanted to keep feeling the grass under her. Needed it. >Then, she was out of time and space to keep running. >Anonstallion stepped next to her as she stopped in place. >"Is this it..?" "Yeah." >It wasn't anything special. Just another wide lawn ringed by trees and away from the path. Ponies could come here if they wanted a quiet picnic or to watch the stars in peace or something. >Anonmare let herself roll over in the grass, laid back and just stared up at the vast blue sky. >The sun was bright but not harsh like Earth's could be. Still, she tried not to stare at it. She didn't want to find out if Celestia had a fetish for burning pony retinas. >Anon sat down next to her as she watched two pegasi glide across the sky at high altitude. >There was another one hovering not far above the park grounds, but she swooped down out of sight, presumably after locating a friend on the ground. >Nopony else was around. It was time to get it over with. "Anon.. what does the future look like to you? The one where we get married." >He took his time, hesitating, but he had already proposed and confessed to her, he might as well just be honest at this point. >"I was.. thinking we could have a family.." "You want to blow your load inside me." >That startled him. >"N-No! It.. it doesn't have to be about sex Anon, I-" "Oh for.. where the hell do you think foals come from idiot? Wait.." >It doesn't have to be about sex. What? >The gears in Anonmare's mind slowly turned, clicking into place. >She sat up, eyes wide with surprise and pointed her hoof at him. "Holy shit you're a moralfag!" >Anonstallion was frozen in place, like he'd been caught stealing cookies from the cookie jar. >"A-And you're not??" >No. Way. This is why he never made a move on her, never tried anything suggestive, never made any lewd jokes or comments. "You want to look at my teats? Touch my marepussy?" >He recoiled a little, keeping his eyes away from her. >It was true. He loved her and he didn't even want to check her bits. Was that even possible?? "I could bend over right now, let you have your way with me. Plap plap plap pla-" >"ANON! STOP! This isn't you! You're not like this!" >She narrowed her eyes. "Yes. I am. Who do you think you're talking to? I want to FUCK mares." >"Well it's not like you even CAN anymore, CAN you??" >Okay, that hurt. >She wanted to think it was because of what he said, and not because it was the first time he had really raised his voice to her like that. >Anonmare brought her face close to his and looked into his eyes when he turned to stare at her. "Take it back Anon.." >She tried to keep it level, but she could hear the hurt whine in her voice betraying her. >Whatever he saw in her eyes, he folded instantly. >"I take it back. I-I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that, I-" "You know exactly what you said." >She leant back as a bitter kind of silence brew between them. >Tears were building up in Anonstallion's eyes and starting to roll down his cheeks. >He slumped down against the ground, trying to hide his face between his forelegs. >"I'm sorry Nonny.. please.. please don't tell me that I fucked it up.." >What should have been a proud stallion was sobbing in front of her, broken. >Anonmare's heart twisted. She felt sick. This isn't what she wanted. Equestria was meant to be happy. SHE was the one who fucked up. >Slowly she got up and sat closer, placing one of her hooves on his, and using her other hoof to rub his back. "...Nothing you said today was wrong..." >She could feel it now, the thorn that was digging into her. She needed to rip it out. "I'm never going to fuck a mare. Never feel what it's like to cum inside best pony. Even if I find a mare to love, I won't be able to have foals with her." "I'm a piece of fucking meat for stallions to play with!" >Anonstallion was pressing his hoof back against hers. She was trembling, gritting her teeth for the second time. >"Don't ever say that about yourself again." >He was looking up at her, sunlight glistening off of the dew in his eyes. >'Mare helped him to sit up and drew in a sharp breath. "You got lucky Anon. Made it to Equestria, even got your very own anonmare to romance. Funny, isn't it?" >Her friend's tears were drying, but she felt cold inside. >"Nonny..." >She gave him a sad smile. "You get it now? This is the role I got stuck with. I'm an accessory to your happy fantasy." >There was a glint of clarity in Anonstallion's eyes. For a moralfag that had to have been a critical hit. >"I was thinking about myself. I wasn't considering how unfair it was to you. You seemed so chill and cheerful, I thought you would just accept it-" "I've been trying. Distracting myself. We've had enough to keep us busy the last two months. I really did feel good Anon. Even.. like this." >"But then I dragged you back, forced you to face the issue. Made you think about.. what you couldn't have. I even rubbed it in your face.. then cried even though I was the one who hurt you." "You didn't force me to do anything, I could have ditched you any time I wanted, and you cried because you cared-" >"Because I was scared Nonny. Scared you were going to hate me, that I had soured our connection forever, that my selfish dream was going to wither and die like it probably should." >'Mare was starting to feel a little light headed. Breathing too quickly. >Anonstallion carefully cupped her head between his forelegs. >"Breathe Nonny. Please. Just tell me what you want." "..I want to get married. To you.. I want to marry you." >The only sound was her breathing. She was trying to control it, to not freak out or throw up. >Neither of them knew how to react. All Anonmare could do was close her eyes and wait. >Eventually the pounding of her heart subsided, she could feel the fresh air filling her lungs and the hold on her head relaxed as Anon placed his hooves back down. >She opened her eyes and looked at her companion. There wasn't joy or sadness or anything there, he was just stunned, his eyes unfocused, blinking, like he was trying to unravel the cosmos. >Her hoof was shaking just a little as she placed it on Anonstallion's shoulder. He snapped out of it and focused on her. He seemed calm at least. "There's your answer buddy. Haha.. fuck, I really said it huh?" >He touched the hoof she had placed on him. >"What about.. everything else..?" >She looked down at the ground. "It still stands. I resent being a hole to be filled." >"That's not what mares are. You know that. They're meant to be held, loved, cherished." "Yeah. I.. I know. Just.. as friends we were equals. As lovers, I'm the one getting fucked." >"I promise.. I'll show you what it means to be loved." >She leaned in and hugged him, felt his hooves wrap around her as she nuzzled his neck. "Alright.. but listen.. the way I was when I was mocking you.. I was only half joking.. that really is me. That's what I'm like. I'm still a horsefucker." >"W-We'll figure it out.. later." "Yeah. I need to head back to the shop." >They separated and she got up on her hooves, letting the whole wide world of Equestria flood back to her. She could go anywhere, do anything. "I'll see you at home Anon." >With a brave smile and slightly wobbly legs Anonmare started the trek back out of the park. As she passed by the founders statue, she actually looked over the inscription. >The mundane becomes magic when touched by many hearts. Love together. Live, laugh, play and build the world you want to see. "...Yeah. I think I can do that."