Accidentally mashed bits of Naturenon and Hermitnon together to create a morally ambiguous Alicorn student of magic and zoology that lives in a cave, whoops

Part One:
>The cave is dank, your mane is more grease than hair, and you haven't talked to another sapient being in a few months- you gotta be Hermitnon
>And being an alicorn that lives out in the deepest part of the most dangerous forest in the country, you've come to a decision
>Timberwolves are fucking based
>Timberwolves don't sing songs about friendship and demand you do a 2 minute solo verse
>Timberwolves don't poke and prod at you and get upset when you don't remember their favorite songs from foalhood
>Timberwolves don't eat nothing but sugar and candy and apples
>(You're actually not sure what they eat, or what actual purpose they serve in the local food pyramid)
>And being an academic with infinite free time and no superiors trying to keep you on task, that sounds like the perfect project to work on as downtine when spellcrafting gets to be too tedious
>Tracking down some specimens isn't exactly difficult, there's like three major animals authors use to chase anons out of the forest and they're the main one
>Lousy with Timberwolves, the Everfree is
>Capturing them? Both easy and hard
>Easy in that waving a few spheres of flame around and screaming like a retard is enough to scare them shitless and corral them how you will
>Hard in that actually keeping them in your cave is difficult
>You had a cage ready at first, but surprise surprise, that shit's made of wood and they...
>You don't want to say ate it - more like, assimilated?
>The point is they're bigger now and increased size seems to make them more unruly
>Shit man you barely even got your specimens and you're already making new discoveries
>Probably
>Ponies are so fucking terrified of anything that isn't horse-shaped or under their direct control you doubt they've studied these things that extensively
>You fucking rule at this
>A bit more fire, a bit more autistic screeching, and some liberal use of a stoneshape spell you nicked from Twilight's diary/grimoire (along with the entire book), and you got an enclosure
>Now it's just a matter of poking and prodding at these things
>Fucking science
>Getting the obvious shit out of the way, it's time to figure out what these things even eat
>You kept them in their enclosure for a full day and aside from snapping at you a few times they didn't seem too bothered
>Pretty sure they don't eat ponies, they live fairly deep in the forest away from their prey, and Ponyville would probably be a lot more bearable if some of the residents were regularly getting munched on
>First test subject: a squirrel
>Bit on the lean side but as an added bonus it'll try and flee and give the hellions some exercise
>And goddamn do they want that thing
>Guess the urge to pick up small rodents by the neck and shake them viciously is just encoded in all canines, even if they are made of firewood
>But they don't actually consume it, just leave a mess
>Results: Squirrels are toys, not food
>Time for another approach
>Odds are good they didn't hold off on eating the squirrel because it wasn't enough of a meal, that's just not how predators work
>Gotta get those calories in where you can
>You can probably extrapolate that they just don't eat meat in general
>Second offering: insects
>Bit more of a pain in the ass, but you overturn enough rocks until you get that one scene from "The Lion King"
>Hopefully they find these things to be slimy yet satisfying
>And
>Fuck they're a lot more aggressive about killing those beetles than they even were the squirrel
>Real sense of urgency out there
>Maybe they try and burrow into them like they would actual trees?
>This is turning into a real bust
>A few days of failure and the Timberwolves you got aren't looking great as well
>Starvation, probably
>It's at this point your giant, meaty brain gets a thought
>Giant plant wolves
>Plant wolves
>Wolves
>No wait, go back one
>Plants
>Anon you fucking idiot they're plants and you've kept them in a dark ass cave for almost a week
>PHOTOSYNTHESIS, MOTHERFUCKER
>Moving them out of the cave isn't too hard at this point
>Hell forget corraling they're not even struggling that much, you can just dig a decently sized pit with magic and then levitate them into it
>It's slow going at first and you're pretty sure you're going to end this experiment with a heaping helping of firewood for the winter
>But some chance rain and the sunlight filtering in from the canopy of the forest do the trick with time
>So that's one mystery solved, at any rate
>Plus as a bonus you got essentially a moat of angry wolf plants near your cave just in case anyone wanders too close by
>Could be handy
>Though you're still left with the question of what purpose these things serve in the local ecosystem if they're not eating anything and just attacking whatever the Hell gets in their territory
>Something to try and look into for sure, but you've already spent a week on this and there were some interesting rituals stuffed in the back of Purple Smart's diary that you're curious about whether they even function or if she was just spitballing some ideas to experiment with
>And shit it's not like they're going anywhere or starve
>Sidequest: unlocked
>Now back to magic

Part Two:
>You got some moss growing on your left hoof, you've been eating nothing but homegrown carrots for the past week, it's gotta be Hermitnon O'clock
>And despite normally being able to do this shit in your sleep your last five ritual circles have come out as ovals, and you're one wobbly sigil away from setting this entire forest on fire
>Fuck it, trying out this Animate Furniture spell can wait a few days
>You don't know it yet, but you're sparing yourself the realization that you don't have any furniture to animate in the first place 
>Timberwolf time
>Last time you fucked around with them you figured out what they ate - namely, sunshine
>it's like having a bunch of pet rocks that try and bite you
>Very convenient though, you heard that fucking Zebra screeching and shouting some invectives in rhyme a few days ago after almost tripping and falling into the moat
>Serves her right, this forest is huge, how the Hell does she manage to stumble into your neck of it?
>Fuck off
>Probably wants to talk shop or trade herbs
>Go find that shit yourself, lady
>Anyway, wood dogs
>Today's experiment is pretty straightforward:
>'How can I make these fuckers do things without the obvious incentive of food'
>Clicker Training only works because you give the dog a piece of food after the noise
>They associate the noise with food, so they do whatever you say to get it
>Can't really restrict their access to sunlight without killing them a little
>And that would just create mental connections that are less beneficial
>If food's off the menu then giving them something to play with might do the trick
>So here you are with a scurry of squirrels bundled up and shivering before your moat of Timberwolves
>It's... slow going
>The Timberwolves are interested in the squirrels, obviously, but they seem to be paying way more attention to them than your commands
>The back of your neck is starting to itch after a few days of little progress
>You're on the third day of zero progress when something finally breaks up the monotony
>A voice breaking through the serene backdrop of nature you're used to
>Soft and buttery, you probably wouldn't be able to pick it up without the enhanced senses afforded to an Alicorn
>"... And it's just past this brush, you said? Alright... I'm sure we can work something out, this is all surely a big misunderstanding!"
>Within a few moments the Pony behind the voice makes itself known, walking through the treeline
>It's that yellow one, you remember seeing her in the Library when you were scoping it out to nab Purple's grimoire
>Shutterfly
>She's currently playing host to a squirrel of her own, jabbering angrily while tugging on her mane, from which it's nestled in
>Their conversation drops dead when they see you
>Situated above a hole with gnashing wooden teeth peeking out, holding a number of squirrels in your magic
>"Annon!"
>Great, she says it wrong too - how does she even know (approximately) your name anyway?
>"What are you doing?! Those poor things are terrified! How could you be so cruel?"
>There's a lot more steel in that voice than you were expecting
"Training these mutts... or making an effort, anyway. These fucks aren't cooperating at all. I can't use food to gain their obedience so I figured, why not try toys?"
>Your admission drains the color out of the Pegasus's face, which is pretty impressive given that she's covered in fur
>The squirrel in her mane absolutely fucking loses it and starts flailing its little arms and jabbering at an increased, squeaky rate
>Did it understand you? That's a bit more sapient than you were expecting
>Either way, not a great idea on its' part
>As interesting as the scurry of terrified squirrels in your grip is, the Timberwolves are very interested in prey that's a bit more lively
>Such as the aforementioned pissed off Squirrel and equally peeved Yellowquiet that's launched into a pretty impassioned rant about the sanctity of life and how mean it is to dangle squirrels so close to the maw of death
>It's just annoying enough to get your attention off the Timberwolves and on her
>You're almost impressed by her ability to barrel over you and not let you get a word in edgewise, but your emotional capacity is mostly focused on being irritated by this sudden social event
>So imagine everyone's surprise when two of the fuckers manage to drag themselves out of the moat you made and start barreling for the Pony and her companion
>They're barreling for her like some bats out of Hell
>She's so taken off guard, going from passionate hippie to deer in the headlights
>You get your wits about you to realize that even if this butterhorse is being a pain in the ass you're not interested in watching her get mauled
>So you start cantering to get after them, take a deep breath
>And employ that lovely Royal Voice you've barely had a chance to utilize out here in bumfuck nowhere
"STOP."
>To yours and Flutterface's surprise, the Timberwolves dig their wooden paws into the ground mid run and skitter to a stop
>They turn to face you as you perform a similar maneuver, heads bowed and twiggy tails tucked beneath them
>That's the first time they've actually heeded your commands!
"Well shit, I was starting to workshop the theory that those ears were just vestigial and you used vibrations or something to locate prey. Good boys."
>Now it's just a matter of figuring out the exact factor that got them to behave
"Hey Yellow, what do you say to sticking around for a bit? Much as I hate to admit it I might need another body to tease out how to make this consistent."
>Silence
>You look up from your Timberwolves to find a conspicuously empty spot near the brush
>Fluttershy fucking booked it
>Either scared shitless by the beasts sprinting at her, or maybe you knocked her into the next zipcode with the power of your voice
>Both are just as likely
>Ah well, you're a big stallion, you'll figure this shit out with or without help
>Pretty quickly, in fact
>With another blast of the Royal Voice the Timberwolves meekly return to their moat, which you add a 'lip' to with the spell you used to make the enclosure in the first place
>Is it volume, then? Maybe those ears really are mostly for show
>Or maybe you're vibrating their bodies enough to compel action
>Further testing is required, but for now you're feeling confident you can nail the form for those ritual circles, now that you've succeeded at something
>Your good mood lasts all the way until a few hours later when the future comes to pass and you realize the closest thing you have to furniture is the pile of moss you sleep on