Originally binned on November 24th, 2014
(It's gonna be pretty shit before the 2020 continuation kicks in, be warned).

>"Good morning, class. Ms. Cheerilee is visiting sick relatives today, so you'll be having a substitute English teacher today"
>"You will also be having a new student, transferring from Manehattan"
>You were hearing this announcement over the intercom from Principal Celestia
>You were sure this day would be just delightful
>Everyone loves new students, and substitute teachers
>And there were both today
>And you were one of them
>No one was going to like you today
>You could feel it
>That underconfidence was going to be your downfall one day
>You shuffle over to your desk, sit down and brace yourself
>Hopefully this will be over quickly
>Suddenly, Vice Principal Luna comes in
>"Hello, Anonymous. Mind standing up and introducing yourself?"
"Oh, sure"
>She looks at you with a little worry
>You were still a little out of it, after all
>But nonetheless you stand up and announce to everyone
"Hello, my name is Anonymous E. Bateman, but you can call me 'Anon' for short"
>You look around the room at the students
"I am your substitute teacher for today. Now where is our new student?"
>A purple hued girl walks in from behind Luna
>She has hair that's a much darker shade of purple, with a lighter purple stripe
>Her rectangular rimmed glasses framed her violet eyes beautifully
>Her hairstyle was a bit messy, but you liked that
>Focus, Anon
>Sure she's in the senior class, meaning she's at least eighteen, but you're here on business
>And while you are a poor example of humanity's potential, you take your business seriously
>"Hello, I'm Twilight Sparkle. I'm here because I, uh, am excited about the academic teams here at CHS"
>She says this nervously, as if there's a another reason, and she forgot to make up this excuse beforehand
>"Two Twilight Sparkles?" asks Luna
>Purple girl looks at her quizzically
>"Uhhh, that's right! You see, uh, we were, um, separated at birth, given to two sets of parents. How funny that they would give us the same name, right?"
>"Hmmmm"
>VP Luna can tell something's up
>Personally, you've never heard of any Twilight Sparkles before
>"So I understand you're quite an accomplished student. Already a senior at sixteen, right?"
>"That's correct, I've been moved ahead a grade. Twice."
>"I'm also taking dual credit courses, which I was told would apply here"
"Very well. Do try not to get in any trouble. Senior year isn't the usual playground, if you're not careful, these guys will eat you alive."
>You turn to the rest of the class
"Right boys?!"
>All the boys in the class, and some of the more laid-back girls, begin howling and gnashes their teeth, acting like wild animals
>"SILENCE!" shouts Luna
>All the students reluctantly quiet down
>"Alright, Miss Sparkle, please take your seat. and don't worry, this is just Anonymous' way of teasing new students who happen to come in when he's subbing"
>So says Vampire Principal Luna
>Seriously, did she resent the sun or something?
>That office could be used to develop photos
>Anyway, the new girl obeys the Vice Principal and takes a seat near the front of the class
>Luna shoots you a glare
>It basically says, 'what the fuck, dude?', but non verbally
>You've dealt with her before, and she's savvy to your MO
>You give her an innocent looking smile, trying to emulate the one that that Shimmer girl does
>Judging from Luna's expression, you're at a solid 0/10
>She then turns and leaves, exiting the classroom and shutting the door
>You remain standing and prepare to teach
>You may be a lazy, sleazy, bum of a human being with no aspirations or direction in life, but dammit, if there's one thing you took seriously, it's teaching
>After all, you don't want a generation of kids to grow up to be like you
>Uninspired, unfulfilled
>So you fought the war on ignorance wherever you could
>Thus you came prepared, and you already knew the lesson plan and how exactly to follow it
>It also helps that English is your strong point
>Fuck those mathfags with their fancy jobs and high pay
>They may be good with numbers, but ask any of them to communicate with another human, and suddenly they can't compute
>You turn to your class and begin to lecture them
"So, class, you've been studying the writing process and how it relates to your essays. When I was told a few days ago that I'd be subbing here today, I took the liberty of skimming a copy of your book from the library, and I must say it's not very clear on a couple of key points. A fine book, but it's missing some, intimacy, in its explanations"
>You look at the class and begin to explain what you mean
"The writing process has guidelines to help you succeed in composing a well-written essay, novel, short story, or other literary piece. Too many people write in ways where the writing process does not apply. Texting using shorthand. Social Media posts with no proofreading. Writing fan fictions on bulletin board websites"
>After that last one, you raise your hand in a guilty way, exciting a few giggles, a laugh, and a chortle or two, plus a handful of smiles, at least one groan that says 'I feel you bro', and a glare that says "I'm not amused"
>That pale green girl over there clearly takes her fan fiction seriously

"Anyway, it's important to utilize proper writing methods whenever possible. So I talked to your regular teacher, and she and I agreed on an assignment for you to do over the weekend"
"For every paragraph you write without using the writing process, or for every five text messages you send without preparing a draft and revising, you are to write one paragraph minimum. It can be a novella. It can be a short story. It can be an essay on why this assignment is complete bull crap. Of course, we can't check how much extra writing you're doing without a serious invasion of privacy, so there'll be a thirty paragraph minimum. That should work out to about twelve to fifteen pages"
>Groans
>Groans everywhere
"Keep in mind, these thirty paragraphs need not be in the same work. You won't have to write that much for a single essay or story. You just need to turn in a total of thirty paragraphs. The first ten will be due on Monday, the next ten on Tuesday, and the final ten on Wednesday. To make things a bit easier, you also will not receive any homework assignments Monday or Tuesday"
>This relieves the students a bit, and they seem to warm up to the idea a little
>Of course that's not saying much
"Now, let's get down to the revision process"

"One way of revising is to go back and look at what you've written after a period of time. I can't tell you how many times I've written what I thought was a masterpiece late at night, come back to it the next day, and spotted several egregious errors. So one way to revise if you're alone on this is to sleep on what you've written, come back to it in the morning, and read it as though it were someone else's work"
>You noticed that all of your students were at least casually writing down notes on your lecture, if not outright studying your words carefully
>This is what's so great about CHS
>Even the lazy students do the work, just not as vigorously
"Of course, there's several other ways to gain feedback that remove your own positive or negative bias of your work. Can anyone give me any examples?"
>You see several students raise their hands
>You decide to call on a yellow girl with yellow and red hair
"Yes, Miss..."
>"Sunset"
"Miss Sunset, can you give me an example?"
>"Peer review?"
"Exactly! Peer review is one of the best ways to get feedback on your story. So, for every paragraph you peer review for a fellow classmate, you can strike one paragraph off your own writing quota, down to a fifteen paragraph limit"
>Now this garnered their attention even more
>The chance to look over someone else's work, in order to make less work for themselves
>You look around the room, scanning to see which ones are paying close attention
>These are the ones you like to assign special projects to help you get through all your work
>There are six people paying special attention to your lecture
>Two are guys, one blue with a headband and a pedo-stache, and one pale with green dreads
>Also watching you closely are
>The purple girl from earlier
>A gray girl with dark gray hair
>A cream colored girl with strawberry hair
>And Sunset, the girl who just answered your question
>Come to think of it, these four girls seem to be paying VERY close attention
>Actually, dreads over there seems to be giving you bedroom eyes too...
>No, wait, he's just stoned
>But those girls, something about the way they looked at you
>Did you forget to turn your swagger off?
>Either way, this could get ugly, what with you being a sub
>Best not get involved
>At least, not until AFTER your job here is done
>But, if you get called to this class again, things could get even more awkward
>What to do, what to do

>The rest of the lesson goes by normally
>With precise timing, you wrap your lesson up, and prepare to head out
"And that, dear students, concludes our lesson"
>Less than a full seconds later
>BRRRRRRRING!
>"Will Twilight Sparkle, Sunset Shimmer, um, Rose, Octavia, please stay behind just a moment. I have something I'd like to discuss with you. The rest may go"
>The four students you assigned stay in their seats, but pack up their books and supplies
"The reason I asked you four to stay behind is because-"
>"Because you're going to hit on us, right?"
>Gray bitch
"Actually, I have a special assignment for all of you"
>"Does it involve shagging you?"
"Gray bitch"
>You just realized you said it aloud that time
>Twilight looks shocked, Sunset looks embarrassed, Rose is giggling like a mad girl, and Octavia looks offended
>You do a double take and sigh, fed up with this
>It's not like she was wrong, anyway
>She just doesn't have to be such a gray bitch about it
"Look, what I want you to do is talk to the other students and let them know you'll be willing to review their work or let them review yours, got it?"
>"Yes Mr. Bateman" they all say in unison
"Good. You may go now"
>All of them get up and prepare to exit class
>But one of them stays behind
>The one named Rose
"Can I help you?"
>"You know, Mr. Bateman, it's not because of your lectures that I pay so much attention"
>Feigning ignorance, but really being done with this shit, you reply
"Oh really?"
>"I mean, it's not that you're a bad teacher or anything. In fact, I find your abilities to lead a class quite... attractive, not to mention the rest of you"
>You decide to end it here
"Look, I'm flattered, you know. I mean, an attractive student suddenly coming on to me? I mean, it's just like one of my Japanese animes, right?"
>She lets out a hearty giggle at your joke
>Obviously she gets it
"But in real life, I'd kinda be in a pickle if I did that"
>"Come on, teach, I'm 17 already. Even older than that Twilight girl you were so into"
"Was it really that obvious?"
>"Yeah, it kinda was"
>"Anyway, I'm of age here, so..."
"Hold it! As a teacher, I have a professional relationship with you. Therefore, it'd be illegal for me to get involved with you until you turn eighteen"
>"Aww come one! Please, Mr. Bateman."
"Hey, I didn't write the law, I just studied it," you say
>Giving her a wink, you continue
"VERY carefully"
>"Please, there has to be some way. I've been in so many classes you've subbed for before. I know how nice you are. I know that you take on tutor work. You're an attractive guy in his early twenties-"
"Twenty-three to be exact"
>"Who's a really nice guy with a stable job and a good life"
"Listen, Rose. You know nothing about my life. You have no idea what I'm like outside school. Sure, I tutor kids. I take my job seriously."
>"Exactly-"
"But you know what? The reason I do that isn't because I'm a nice guy, or that I care about you guys. I just don't wanna see you all turn out like me. I drink. I sleep around. I screw people over for my own benefit, on a daily fucking basis. Trust me, I'm the last guy you wanna get involved with."
>She looks at you heartbroken
>"You know what? I think you're just telling yourself that"
"You what?"
>"I thin- I KNOW, that you could be as nice of a guy outside the classroom as you are on the inside"
"Maybe, but-"
>"If what you say is true, it's only because you're making it true"
>Geez, she's on the verge of tears now
>"All I want is a chance to help you like you help them- us. Please."
>Fuck, man, she really is serious about this
>"You're just afraid of commitment. Of having people rely on you personally like they rely on you professionally"
>She's hit the nail on the head
>But you gotta let her go
"Like I said, there's no way. I can't date a student who's under eighteen. It'd be a crime."
>"Well, no. It would be a crime to have sex with me, but not to just go on dates with me."
"True, but anyone would accuse me of bedding you. And you know how good my chances are of being convicted, even if you testified for me?"
>"Well,"
"Just the fact that I'm a man means the court'd be biased against me, plus my history of sleeping around brings it to right around 99%"
>"B-but I?"
"Look, when do you turn eighteen, anyway?"
>"M-my 17th birthday was five days ago."
>Ouch
"Look, I'd love to, really, but I just can't"
>She starts tearing up now, tears gently flowing down her cheeks
>At least she's not sobbing
>She's just a kid, but she really seems serious about this
>Hey, she's still old enough to know what love is
>But she's young enough to confuse infatuation with love
>Not to say the latter can't become the former
>Should you really take this on?
"Well, you know,"
>She looks up at you and wipes away her tears
>"What?" she says, sniffling hard
"There, well, there IS a loophole. One that'd even make it legal for me to have sex with you before you turn eighteen. If I was actually going to, which I'm not."
>"R-really? Well why didn't you tell me before!?" she shouts
"You, might not like it exactly"
>"Whatever it takes to get you to just give me a shot, I'll do it"
"Alright, the loop hole is..."
>"Yeah?"
"You get employed by the school and become my coworker."


***

>"Y-you can't be serious? You want ME, to get a job, here at CHS"
"I don't WANT you to do anything. You seem to want to date me, for whatever reason, and if so, getting yourself official employment here is my stipulation"
>She takes a step back, takes a deep breath, and looks up at you, appearing calm
>"Okay, let's say i decide to get a job here so you'll date me. What kind of job can I get at the school anyway?"
"Well, first of all, it doesn't have to be CHS, it can be any school in the Greater Canterlot Region school system. Secondly, there are generally some after-school and weekend jobs available, like "custodian", or "weekend security guard'"
>she shakes her head and looks at you quizzically
>"So you're saying that if I want to date you, I'll have to be a janitor?"
"Hey, at least you wouldn't be doing it for free"
>You give your thighs two slaps, followed by a clap
>This time Rose doesn't get the joke
>"Might as well be free, right?"
"True, true, they do get paid minimum wage. But as I always said as a teenager, minimum wage is better than no wage."
>"Problem is, I already volunteer at the Canterlot Animal Shelter with that Fluttershy girl after school most days, and on Saturdays"
"Okay, find someone else to volunteer there and look for a job here"
>She just looks down and sighs
>"You really are serious about me getting a job with the school system, aren't you?"
>You look at her blankly and say
"As serious as you are about dating me in the first place"
>She sighs again, this being the longest and most dramatic sigh of them all thus far
>"Alright, since you're willing to give me a chance, I'll think about it."
"Perfect. You can drop by my office tomorrow to let me know, if you've made your decision by then"
>"But won't someone get suspicious? I mean, you won't even date me unless I get a job because of the possibility of someone accusing you of sex and a court declaring you guilty without evidence. No offense, but you're kinda paranoid"
"Nah, no one'll get suspicious. Like you said, I tutor students all the time."
>"Oh, right. Well, I better get going. The buses will leave soon."
"Alright then. Oh, and if you do miss the bus, swing by Celestia's office. I'll be in a meeting with her there, and you can ask for a ride home."
>"Won't that be doubly suspicious?"
"Nah, Celestia drives students home all the time, but she won't be able to today due to a string of meetings. I'll just offer to fill in for her"
>"Okay then, bye"
>She turns to leave, and walks out the door, into the bustling crowd of students
>What the fuck just happened?
>You begin to recap for yourself the events that just transpired
>A student who's only 17 hit on you
>She really really really likes you
>Or at least she really really really likes an image of you
>An image she's created of you being a nice guy
>An image of you being a good boyfriend, who wouldn't cheat on her, get drunk, and kick her out in a stupor
>You walk over at look at yourself in a mirror sitting on a shelf near the back of the class
>Maybe she was right
>Maybe you could change
"Tell you what, Anon," you say to your reflection,
"If she goes through with this and actually gets a job just to be your coworker, I'll try my best to change my ways"
>You do a clockwise spin and look at yourself again
"Alright, Anon, we have a deal"
>You do a counter-clockwise spin and look yet again
"Great. i just hope she doesn't go through with it"
>Another clockwise spin
"That's no way to think. She's a really nice girl, and you've already led her on thus far. It's only fair to hope for the best"
>Another spin the other way
"The best case scenario would be me not having to get involved with someone 6 years younger than me, and a minor at that"
>Another clockwise spin
"Look, she's your best shot at getting a real girlfriend and no longer being such a bullshit excuse for a person"
>Counter Spin: Source
"Good point. Alright, I'll try my best at this relationship. That is, I will if she does go for it"
>A Clockwise Orange
"It was great talking with you, Anonymous"
>Genuine Granite Counter-clockwise
"You too, Anon"
>These theater class conversations with yourself never ceased to make you feel a childish joy
>Or fail to make you feel dizzy
>You decide to head to Celestia's office before you're late

***

>Be Celestia
>The upteen hundredth parent is calling to complain about the "creepy pedo guy hanging around the kids"
"Miss, I assure you, Mr. Bateman is one of our top tutors. If he's 'hanging around' with your children, as you call it, then I guarantee that it's to teach them something academic, most likely English"
>"So you're not worried about a man being around those kids unsupervised? I mean, if it were a woman I wouldn't be worried at all, but a man? Really?"
"Mam, it's the twenty-first century. I'm pretty sure we can put the sexism behind us. Having a penis doesn't mean someone's going to try to use it on everyone they see"
>"Ex-CUSE me? I am being sexist? Do you know what men like him do to innocent children?"
"Yes, ma'am, they educate them. Something that obviously no one did for you"
>"I can't believe this! This is an outrage! How dare you speak to me that way! I'll have you know I'm a well-respected member of my community"
"Really? Tell me what community respects you so I can make sure to avoid it."
>"I-I-I"
>You've reduced this bitch to stuttering
>You glance over at the clock
>Really?
>It took you THAT long to get her speechless?
>You're losing it, Celestia
>"Well I know I can't be the only one who's worried about him."
"Oh, no, not at all. I've received hundreds of complaints from concerned parents, school board members, even police officers, all voicing concern over Mr. Bateman's interactions with the students."
>"Wha- REALLY?! Then why haven't you acted on any of these complaints?!"
"Because none of them were ever valid, and guess what? Neither is yours. Now I'm going to hang up, and if you continue to call our school and treat our staff this way, I WILL report you to the police for harassment. Good day."
>"Now you listen here-"
"I SAID GOOD DAY"
>You slam the phone down on the receiver
>Why anyone uses the speaker phone when slamming the phone down is so satisfying is beyond you
>Damn it feels good to be a principal
>You wonder to yourself, what is it like to be a principal at another school
>You know, one that's not #1 in the NATION for academic test scores, graduate/dropout ratio, graduates entering college, AND High School Soccer
>You sure as shit wouldn't be able to talk to angry parents that way
>But with your school being part of the largest private school network in the country, as well as being the top money maker for it,
>Well, you had a bit of leeway to work with
>Actually a lot of leeway
>Actually you could do whatever the flying fuck you want
>Sure the corporate board complained, even docked your pay a few times
>But your pay had room to be docked, and you weren't gonna be a doormat for any amount of money
>As you lose yourself in thought, you swivel your chair around and notice a man standing there
"Ah, the man of the hour, Mr. Anonymous E. Bateman. How long have you been standing there"
>"Ever since the part about avoiding someone's community"
>You sigh, and shake your head
"Sorry you had to hear that, Anon"
>"Sounds like someone's not happy with you"
"People rarely are"
>"It about me again?"
"Unfortunately, yes. Seems like a lot of people in this part of town hold the idea that you get flirty with your students."
>"Eh, I'd blame 'em it I wasn't such a lady-slayer"
"True, but you only go for women your own age"
>"And up" he says, winking at you playfully
"Indeed, which reminds me. I just wanted to say thanks again for Wednesday night. I really needed that"
>"Any time, Tia"
"Anyway, back to business. So, you probably know why you're here"
>"You wanna check up on me, make sure I'm not doing anything decrepit?"
"Actually, it's a different matter altogether."
>"Oh? He says, surprised
>"You, uh, want a repeat of Wednesday night, is it?"
"Maybe later. Right now this is strictly business."
>It's time to deliver Anonymous the news

***

>Be Anonymous
>Celestia wants to give you some big news
>Better brace for impact
>"As you know, you don't have the same academic qualifications that CHS would normally look for in a teacher. You possess a bachelor's degree in English, and associate's degrees in math and physics. Pretty impressive for a twenty-three-years-old person. Alas, it's not enough for a full teaching position."
"Right, that's exactly why I'm a substitute for the systen and not a regular teacher."
>"BUT, due to your level of actual experience, and your positive work history, you may have the option to change that."
>Suddenly you're interested
"What do you mean?
>"Miss Cheerilee called to report that she's staying in Baltimare and will be teaching there, which means the position of English teacher just became available."
"Oh really?"
>Is this going where you think it's going?
>"Despite your lack of shiny university-signed papers, the board and I have agreed to let experience be your credentials. Anonymous, would you like to be our new permanent English 104 teacher?"
>Oh shit times ten to the power of a googolplex
>This is happening
"Uh- well, I love the offer. I mean-"
>"Let me guess, you're apprehensive about taking on such a permanent role."
>"Having to come up with the lessons yourself, having less time to tutor and to sub other classes, et cetera."
>"I get it. It would be a huge change in your professional life. Am I close?"
"You've pretty much summed up my thoughts on the matter."
>"Well, seing as how you planned to sub for her class until Wednesday anyway, you have until then to make a decision. We have others lined up we could contact, but we wanted to give you first pick"
"Wait, so you have people more qualified than me to do it, and you're letting me choose?"
>"No, Mr. Bateman, it would be impossible for us to find anyone more qualified to teach this class than you. We just have people who look more qualified on paper."
"Alright, fair enough. I'm flattered, but, I'll need a little time to think about it."
>"Sounds fair to me."
>You stand up and get ready to exit
>"Oh, and um, Anonymous,"
"Yeah, Tia?" you ask, turning to her
>You notice that she's playing with her hair.
>She hardly ever does that
>"Feel free to uh, drop by my place tonight, and let me know how the, uh, decision-making process is going."
>You equip your Shit-eating Grin of Ashteroth, giving you +15 to smugness
"Sure thing. Oh, and if you want, I can also give you the dick."
>She cracks a smile and does the little sharp-breath-laugh-thing
>"Yeah, that too"
>Suddenly the door clicks open
>"Um, Principal Celestia, I was told to come in"
>Rose steps out from behind the door
>"I'm not interrupting am I?"
>"Not at all," says Celestia, with an almost motherly tone in her voice
>"Is there anything you need"
>"Well," says Rose, "I missed the buses, and both my parents work late, and my house in on the other side of town."
>"Oh dear"
>Celestia sounds disappointed
>"I'd love to help you, really, but I'm afraid I'm stuck here all evening."
"I could give her a ride home"
>You say this as casually as you can
>"Are you sure about that, Anonymous?"
"Yeah, it's not too far out of my way, assuming she means 'on the other side of town' as the east side."
>You turn to Rose and ask,
"Is that right?"
>"Yeah, it's right by the mountain exit"
"Great, I'm not too far"
>Alright, then, Anonymous. You can take Rose home"
>Rose looks up at you and smiles
>"Thanks, Anon"
>Celestia cocks an eyebrow at that
>"Oh? You two are on a first-name basis, huh?"
>Oh shit times ten to the power of the cube of a googolplex
"Uh, yeah. She stayed behind class to ask some questions about the material. During that time we started calling each other by our first names"
>Nice save
>"But I thought you had a strict policy against using first names with students, to prevent showing emotional attachment to them."
>Or Not
>"Look, whatever you're doing outside the classroom is your business. Just remember that you tread thin enough ice without actually doing anything, Anonymous."
"Right. I know that."
>You begin to walk toward the door, and Rose opens it for the two of you to leave
>Before you do, Celestia speaks up
>"Oh, and Anonymous,"
>You stop but don't turn around
"Yes, Celestia?"
>"Take her to HER home, not yours"
>As you continue walking with a slight smirk on your face, you flip Celestia a backhanded middle finger
>Rose's jaw drops
>"Did you just-"
"Eh, it's all in good fun. Celestia and I are pretty close. We've known each other for a while.
>"Ooh, you gotta tell me all the juicy details."
"Oh I will, but for now, know this: you know the thing you're doing to me right now? Starting a relationship with me even though I'm your teacher?"
>"Yeah?"
>Shit-eating Grin equipped
"I did the same thing to Principal Celestia back when she was just a teacher"
>Rose stops in place, her jaw attempting to discover subterranean oil deposits
>You continue walking, your grin only growing larger and more powerful with each step.

***

>You are Roseluck
>People just call you "Rose" for short
>You are in the car of Anonymous, a substitute teacher working for the local private/public/confusing clusterfuck bureaucratic corporate school system network... thing
>You've just found out a lot of big stuff about him
>Like that he apparently used to date Celestia
>And he also was in the same situation as you at one point
>He should understand your position
>Well, he sort of does
>It was awkward, but you were going to ask him about it
"So, Uh, Anon?"
>"Yeah, Rose?"
"So you and, uh, Celestia, what was that all about?"
>"Oh, she wanted to talk to me about my position at the school."
>He glances at you and gives you a warm smile
>"Don't worry, I'm not in trouble or anything."
"That's... not what I meant. You mentioned trying to date her when you were my age."
>"Oh, right. Well, you see, as you can probably tell, Celestia is quite attractive."
"Yeah? I guess I hadn't noticed"
>"Well anyway, she was just as beautiful back then, about seven years ago. I was only sixteen at the time."
"Really? So what did you do? Get a job at the school?"
>You flash him a cheesy grin, and nudge him in the rib
>"Nah, she never would bang me when I was that young."
>Taken aback, you must be showing your surprise with your expression
>"I mean, keep in mind that I was just as horny and sex-driven back then as I am now. Unlike you, I wasn't looking for anything serious, just sex. I still haven't changed over the years either."
>At this point, you're not sure if he's serious, or just trying to pull his "I'm a bad guy" routine to try to push you away
>"So anyway, I threatened to transfer schools if she wouldn't let me into her bed"
"What did you end up doing?"
>"I transferred from CHS to the public school, Firefly High School. That way, I wasn't under her authority, and it wouldn't be illegal any more. She still wouldn't go for it though."
"I see. So she still didn't sleep with you?"
>"Nope. Not when I was under eighteen, anyway."
"And after you turned eighteen?"
>"Well, let's just say she let me insert my penis into her vagina and withdraw it repeatedly, if you know what I'm saying"
>You can't help but blush at his sudden vulgarity
>At least he was being himself around you
>That was a good start
>Suddenly, a thought pops into your head
"Wait, so you transferring to the public state-run school system made it legal for you to bang her if she had agreed to?"
>A few moments of silence pass as the two of you sit at the red light
>"Fuck."
>Anonymous puts on his turn signal, checks to make sure nothing's coming, and guns it around the corner to the right
>He then pulls into a parking lot and puts his car in park
>"Rose. Look me in the eye right now. Okay, look at me."
"Okay, okay, I'm looking at yo-"
>"DO NOT transfer schools, understand? I didn't mean to let that other loophole slip, alright?"
"Anon,"
>"CHS is the best option available. The fact that you were able to get in, it's a real opportunity for you,"
"Anon!"
"And I don't want you to waste it just to try to score a date with m-"
"ANONYMOUS!"
>He leans away from you and looks scared for a moment, then annoyed
"Sorry, I didn't mean to shout. It's just, you have nothing to worry about, okay?"
>"Oh yeah?"
"I'm not going to transfer schools just to date you. I mean, sure I like you, but I'm not going to throw away an opportunity like CHS just because I'm to impatient to wait to date you."
>He smiles at you, his expression softening up, and a huge smile forms on his face
>"I'm so relieved to hear that from you, Rose."
"I still plan on getting that job though. I WILL get you to date me, even just once, just to try it out. But I'm not going to be stupid about it."
>"So you have decided to work for the school network?"
"Yeah. I'm gonna apply for a job and get employed at the school, just for you."
>He smiles, and puts his hand on yours for a second, giving it a cute little squeeze
>"I guess you really are a big girl"
>Now you equip your own Shit-eating Grin of Torash'na
"Like I said,"
>"Wha-"
"For you."
>The grins you both sported could be used to land a plane
>Or crash it
>With no survivors

***

>You are Anonymous
>It's 1:15 PM and you're just now waking up
>Sundays, amirite
>You can't remember anything from the previous night
>Or the previous day
>Or the night before that
>In fact, the last thing you remember is dropping Rose off at her place Friday afternoon and then going clubbing
>Geez, man, have you ever forgotten an entire weekend before?
>You pull yourself out of bed, shuffle into your kitchen, and set to work making brunch
>Grabbing chorizo, eggs, tortillas, cheese, and hot sauce, you gather the ingredients
>Then comes putting the pan on the stove, oiling it up, and turning on the heat
>Suddenly, you hear three sharp knocks on the door
>Now who in their right mind would try to visit with you on a Sunday afternoon
>You shuffle over to the door and undo the locks
>Swinging it open, you see a girl with strawberry hair
"Rose? What're you doing here today?"
>"Oh, Hi Anon, guess what happened?"
"What?"
>"Well, it's a bit of a story. Mind if I come in?"
"Huh? Oh, sure, sure. Say, have you already had breakfast?"
>"Um, well I had a bowl of cereal this morning, but I haven't had anything else."
>Poor girl's gonna starve if she keeps that up
"Well, I was just about to make some breakfast burritos. Wanna have some?"
>"Ooh, that sounds delicious"
>You usher her into your apartment and seat her at the table
"Make yourself at home, I'll be back shortly with something to eat"
>She sits down at the table and immediately pulls out her smartphone and starts playing on it
>She's such a teenager
>You fire up the chorizo, put in on a paper towel on a plate, and stick it in the oven
>Next comes eggs
>You brown them in the same pan using the chorizo grease to cook them
>Finally, you set these down on a plate too
>You bring the sausage, eggs, tortillas, cheese, and hot sauce into the dining room and set them down
>Normally, you'd just make them in the kitchen, but since you had a guest, you'd let her make her own
>She might be picky about it after all
"So, here you go, feel free to assemble them to your own specifications."
>"Ooh, goodness, this smells amazing"
>You begins to spoon some ingredients onto a tortilla, as she does the same
>You notice that she likes to stuff a lot of the meat into hers, with less eggs and cheese
>That's fine, you liked to use more egg and cheese anyway
>Right before she takes a huge bite of her food, you decide to ask her why she's here
"So, you said you had something to tell me?"
>"Oh, right."
>She says as she sets her burrito down
>"Let me tell you about my weekend."
"While you're at it, could you tell me about mine? I don't remember any of it"
>She giggles a bit, before moving on
>"Well, you see, after you dropped me off at my house, I went over to the sports stadium. You know, the one run by the same company that owns CHS?"
"Yeah?"
>"So I asked them for a job application for any part of the company"
"Go on,"
>"They had an opening at CHS for after school security guards"
"Oh really?" you say, barely suppressing a laugh
>If this was going where you think it's going, you're about to have yourself a Grand Galloping Giggle
>"Yeah, so I filled in the application and turned it in"
"You applied to be a security guard at the school?"
>Your smile is enormous, your stomach convulsing with suppressed laughter
>"Yep, and I had an interview yesterday morning. They said they'd consider it."
"And what, pray tell, have you heard from them?"
>"Get this: they called me this morning, and... I got the job! I'm gonna be working at CHS as an afternoon security guard!"

***

>You are Roseluck
>Codename: Rose
"Anon..."
>...
"Anon, please."
>...
"Could you at least not literally roll on the floor"
>"I-I'm sorry! I JUST CAN'T EVEN..."
>He's acting like a scientist is using a mechanism to fire up the humor center of his brain to max capacity
>"Y-y-you! Are gonna beeeEHEHEH! A SECURITY GUARD!"
>His laughter is gonna get him a complaint from his neighbors
>He doesn't care though
"Yeah, I am"
>"S-so, what exactly made them decide to take you on as a security guard, as opposed to, you know, someone over five-foot five, and not skinny like a malnourished animal"
"As a matter of fact, the interview involved three tests. One was controlling a guard dog to sniff out drugs. Another was spotting suspicious activities, like hiding a weapon or substance. The last one was tackling an intruder and restraining him with pepper spray in my eyes."
>"Jesus, Rose, they put you through a gauntlet, eh?"
>At least he's calmed down enough to talk properly
"Yeah, and I passed satisfactorily."
>"Really? How'd you manage that?"
"My experience with animals led me to know just what to do with the guard dog, and I've always known what suspicious behavior looks like"
>"And what about the last test?"
"Well, uh,"

***

You are Anonymous E. Bateman
>Your student Rose has just revealed that she's been selected as an after school security guard
>"My experience with animals led me to know just what to do with the guard dog, and I've always known what suspicious behavior looks like"
"And what about the last test?"
>"Well, uh,"
>Suddenly, she looks down at the table
>She blushes and does that little thing where she reaches behind her back with one arm and grabs the other
>"You see, what happened is, they gave me a light spray of mace in my eyes and nose"
"And?"
>At first you expected her to say it didn't even affect her because she was too tough
>But with this expression on her face, you can't wait to see what she says
>"Well, see, the thing is,"
"Yeah?"
>"I rolled around on the ground crying like a little girl screaming 'I don't wanna do this anymore! I wanna go home!' the whole time"
>...
>You are Anonymous, and whatever remnants of your sides that once existed have been thoroughly annihilated on a subatomic level

"So wait, they still hired you?"
>Well, two out of three wasn't too bad. Plus I was the only applicant out the, I don't know, four or so, that actually did that well overall."
"Oh, do tell"
>She tells you about the other applicants being a couple of tough looking guys and a butch looking girl, all of whom at least passed the pepper spray test, but failed the dog and spot-check tests
"I see. So as of now, you're officially employed by the school corporation."
>"Uh-huh, and you know what that means."
"It means that I'll be your boyfriend now, as I promised"
>"Yep. My parents were excited about me getting a job too. They didn't like that they sprayed me with mace as part of the interview, but they had already signed the waiver without reading it."
"Yep that's what parents will do."
>Oh shit times the square of infinity
"Uh, Rose, speaking of parents, what exactly are we going to tell them?"
>"Well, they don't exactly know that I'm going to be dating yet."
"Oh boy. Okay, Rose, I'm sorry, but I did not think this far ahead. I don't know if I can do this anymore."
>"Relax, sweetie. Uh, mind if I call you 'sweetie'?"
"Uh, I guess, but I'd rather hold off on that for now while we focus on the fact that YOUR DAD IS GOING TO MURDER ME."
>"Like I said, relax. My dad isn't like that. When my sister Lily started dating at age fifteen, the guy she was dating was seventeen. My dad made it clear that no funny business was to occur, and besides that, he was cool with it. Not even a shotgun shell moving faster after ten pm joke."
"Okay, okay. Tell you what. I'll go with you to talk to your parents about it. You tell them that you want to date me. If things get out of hand, I'll try telling them that I only went along with it to humor you."
>"Alright. But I want you to tell Principal Celestia about us tomorrow."
"Deal"
>Speaking of Celestia, that name brought back a few memories
"Oh yeah! That's what I was doing all day yesterday: boning Celestia!"

>Rose drops her burrito
"Oh yeah, guess I won't be able to do that any more, with us dating. I think that'll be the hardest part of it for Tia to take, honestly."
>"Oh, right, well, um. You know, I wasn't really planning on, you know, sleeping with you. A-at least not at first."
"Same here. Honestly, I thought you were just another horny student like that Sunset girl that the math teacher was telling me about. I didn't plan on having sex with you at first either."
>"Well, I wouldn't want you to go and just throw away a big part of your life just for me, even if it is, uh, sex."
"What are you-"
>"And sex is a totally normal and even healthy activity for men your age to engage in, so I guess what I'm saying is, uh, even though you won't be having sex with me, you can still, um, have, you know, sex, with... not me."
"Rose, are you telling me you want me to continue sleeping with other women even as I date you?"
>"Well, I mean, people date non-exclusively all the time, right?"
"But I thought you were really serious about wanting a relationship with me."
>"I do! I-I am. It's just, I don't want to put that restriction on you, you know."
"I... see. Well, if that's how you feel, that we should have sex with other people but not each other-"
>"Oh, not us. Just you. I'm a... I'm.. well, I've never actually..."
"Rose, are you a virgin?"
>"Y-yeah."
"Awww, that's adorable."
>Speaking of adorable, she puts on the CUTEST pout, and puff up her cheeks
>"Hey! Don't go acting like I'm a little kid now. I've had enough of that from my sisters."
"No, no, really. It's sweet. Virgins are sweet and cute by nature. People who say that someone's not a real man or woman just because they're a virgin are full of themselves."
>"Really?"
"Well, at any rate, people who say that someone's not a real woman just because she's a virgin are full of themselves."
>She giggles, and your heart is close to melting
>Suddenly, three more knocks come on your door
>"Wait, who else is here?"
"Umm"
>You look over at the clock
>Two PM
>Sunday
>Oh
>Right
"Well, Rose, guess we'll be telling Celestia about our relationship today"

***

>Be Celestia
>You are at the apartment of one Anonymous E. Bateman
>He invited you to come over on this day and at this time because, well
>Let's face it, you're horny
>Everyone who doesn't work for you thinks of you as too old and stuffy
>You're only thirty-eight for crying out loud
>the people who DO work with you, well, they're off limits
>You don't want a sexual harassment lawsuit on your hands
>So you're here at Anon's house
>He was always good at satisfying you
>And when he couldn't he'd even found someone who could
>Yes, Anon had been your wingman on a few occasions
>He even joined in for a threesome once
>He refused to do anything with the other guy though because "dat shit hella gay", as he put it
>He was always funny when he was drunk
>And when he was sober
>But more so when he's drunk
>The elevator's dinging snaps you out of your thoughts and you walk down the hall to his room
>Number three hundred ninety-four
>He actually requested this room number so that when giving directions he could suddenly put on a depe voice and say
>"Turn to apartment three hundred ninety-four."
>He has an odd sense of humor
>It actually helps him with the children on many occasions
>You deliver three sharp knocks to his door, and wait for his response

>A few moments later, you see Anonymous standing before you in his pajamas
>"Celestia, so great to see you!"
"Melon."
>...
>Anonymous puts on a scowl and slams the door in your face
>A few more moments later he flings it open
>He flies at you and embraces you in a friendly hug
>"You remembered"
"Oh, whatever. The least I could do is appease your insane sense of humor."
>"Right, well come in, come in."
>As you enter, you notice someone else is here
>"Tia, you remember Rose, right?"
"Why yes, I do. Pray tell Anonymous, what exactly are you doing here with her."
>"Well," he says with nervousness on his face
>"Rose was just telling me about her new job."
"Oh? And you decided to talk over brunch?"
>He's sweating nervously
>His breath is quickening
>You can feel how on edge he is
>Oh, how you loved doing this to him
>To everyone
>Seeing him get all hot and bothered, well,
>It got you hot and bothered
>"Yeah, poor girl came to see me about school-related stuff, told me she hadn't eaten anything but cereal, so I cooked for her."
>"Ahem."
>Rose is looking up at Anon with an annoyed expression
>"Anon, you promised to tell her."
>"Right, right," he says, "I was just getting to that."
>He turns back to you and continues his story
>"So, the reason that Rose got the job is because there was something she wanted me to do for her, and I required her to get a job with the school network so she'd be my co-worker."
"And what, exactly, Mr. Bateman, did she want you to do?"
>"Well, Principal Celestia, simply put: Rose wants me to date her."
>You'd pretty much figure this
>You turned to Rose
"You really don't wanna date Anonymous."
>"Hey, I already tried convincing her of that, but she refused to accept it."

"And what about dating one of your students seemed like a good idea, Anonymous?"
>"Well, she was adamant about me giving her a shot at a relationship. She was heartbroken when I refused. Sobbing and everything"
>Suddenly, Rose speaks up from the table
>"Actually, it wasn't just because you refused to date me that I was crying about it."
>Anon looks at her, and then realization strikes his face
>"Yeah, come to think of it, you seem to be a little too strong to be sobbing over a guy turning you down. What was that about anyway?"
>"It was the reasons you gave. As you told me 'I'm sorry, but I just can't', I saw the look in your eyes. At that moment I realized that it had nothing to do with laws or teaching or anything. I realized that you really thought of yourself as a monster. You wanted to stay away from me for my own good. It made me feel heartbroken to see someone think of themselves that way."
>Finally fed up with all this mushy bullshit, you decide to lay down the law
"Listen, sweetie, that's really sweet, but he was telling the truth. Anon's not the kind of person who'd make a good long term partner for anyone."
>"Yo, I'm right here."
>You turn to Anon and look him in the eye
"I expect you to cut this nonsense out immediately. Now send this girl home before anyone find out she was here."
>Suddenly she stands up from the table and glares at you
>"Excuse me, but this isn't 'nonsense' to me. I got this job so that Anon and I could at least have a shot at being together, and I'm not going to throw it all away for-"
"ENOUGH!"
>She jumps back a little, looking like the scared little girl she is
>To your left, Anon is beginning to look angry
"As of right now this doesn't concern you. I'm going to discuss this with Anonymous, and you're going to go home and-"
>"No!"
"ExCUSE me?"
>"I said no. You're the one that this doesn't concern! This is between me and my new boyfriend, and if you don't like that, too-"
"Oh ho ho! You think this doesn't concern me? Is that what you think?! You have no idea what I've sacrificed to cover Nonny's ass when he wasn't even doing anything but hanging around high schoolers looking creepy to people who don't know any better! You think I'm gonna let him throw that all away to run around nilly willy dating a bunch of his students?"
>"He wasn't going to date 'a bunch of his students', just me."
>You can't help but laugh at her pathetic little fantasies
"Is that really what he told you?! Hahahah, you have no idea, huh? Say, Anonymous, why don't you tell her why I came here. Or do you want me to tell her?"
>Anon looks between you and the child, shifting his eyes nervously
>"W-w-well," he stammers
>"Let me guess," says the girl
>Her expression has a sort of smugness to it, as if she knows something you don't
>"He invited you over for sex, right?"
>Or maybe she knows something that you did know, but you didn't know that she knew
"So, you did know what I know but didn't know you knew"
>"Yes, I did. From what i understand, you seem like quite a cock-hungry nymph outside your office."
>You chuckle at her lame attempt at an insult
"So what if I enjoy sex? You know how great it is, don't you?"
>Suddenly she looks down
>"Well, um."
"Oh. OH! Oh this is too precious. You're a virgin?! Oh how cute! You wanna give your first time to Anon, is that it?"
>She looks up at you in defiance
>"Maybe I do, so what?"
>Damn, she's a tough one
>But you're still better than her
"Well, then, do you still want to be Nonny's little girlfriend knowing that he was prepared to cheat on you?"
>"Okay, first of all, we weren't officially dating until about an hour ago, long after he invited you over."
"Hmm, fair enough, but you know, Anonymous won't just turn down some of my hot, sweet pussy just to take you to some movies and dinner. He's gonna ravage me like the savage he is. Are you okay with that, Rose?"
>You put all the sting you had into that that last word
>Anonymous is still staring, speechless and uncomfortable
>"Yeah, actually I am. As I told Anon before, I'm fine with him getting his sexual release elsewhere, at least until I'm ready to give it to him myself."
"Well... I..."
>Wait, what is this?
>Your mind is blank
>You can't think of a single comeback, a single burn, a single way to counter what she's just told you
>NO!
>Fuck!
>You can't have run out of ammunition, you can't have lost
>Casting your face down, you can do nothing but stare at the ground, and accept your defeat
>After what felt like an eternity of awkward silence, Anonymous finally breaks the silence

***
 
>Be Anonymous
>Celestia has just gone on a rampage against Rose, acting spiteful and rude, which was out of place for her
"Celestia, what the fuck's gotten into you? You- you're a lot better than this."
>You see tears form in her eyes, and she looks at your with sorrow
>She gets close to your face and whispers
>"Anon..."
>Wait a minute
>*sniff sniff*
"Whoa! Holy shit, Celestia, you're fucking blitzed!'
>"Wha- no, no, I'm... just a little buzzed is all."
>"Well I'm pretty upset that you got tipsy and came here acting this way."
>"I'm so sorry, Anonymous. I just, it's like I said, this is gonna create so much more work for me, and, and, well..."
"Well, what?"
>"I was afraid you wouldn't satisfy my needs any more."
>You look to Rose and equip your upgraded All-consuming Grin of Otherworldly Shit-eating
>Both Celestia and Rose look at you, wondering why you're smiling so much
>Only Celestia starts to speak
>"Anon, what are you-"
"See, Rose."
>You smile at Celestia and back at Rose
"I told you that'd be the hardest part for her to take."
>You feel a flick on your face
>"Have you been talking with Rose about our sexual relations?"
"Uh, you were there when she guessed why you were here and called you a 'cock-hungry nymph'."
>"Oh, right, yeah."
>Speaking of Rose, she's the one you should be apologizing to
>Wiping the tears from her eyes, she turns to Rose
>"I'm very sorry, Roseluck. I-I didn't mean those things I said"
"And Roseluck, I want you to apologize to Tia for calling her her a 'cock-hungry nymph'."
>"But she's a cock-hungry nymph"
"Rose,"
>"Sorry, Principal Celestia."
>"I forgive you"
>Something suddenly hits you
"Wait a minute!"
>Rose and Celestia both look at you
>"What?" says Rose
"Your name is Roseluck?"
>...
>Simultaneous reactions:
>"WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooow."

***

>You are still Anoymous
>You, Celestia, and Rose are sitting on your couch
>Celestia on your right and Rose is on your left

>"So, you didn't even know her real name?"
"No one's ever told me it."
>You turn to Rose
"You never told me"
>She pouts and puffs her cheeks again
>"I assumed you knew."
"Hey, I'm a substitute, I've only known you for a few days."
>"Well, we'll have plenty of time to get to know each other, boyfriend."
>She says this last word with emphasis
>EMPHASIS
>She's very cute, what with her childish views of love and dating
>Older teenagers like her are so strange, being totally childish in some ways, and so mature in others
>No, wait
>Don't think of her as an older teenager
>Think of her as a young adult
>Celestia looks over at Rose
>"You mean Anon hasn't told you yet?"
>You glance at Celestia and do a throat cutting motion
"No, I haven't, and there's a reason for that."
>Rose looks at you worriedly
>"What aren't you telling me, sweetie?"
>You rub the back of your head and try to think of a way to explain it
"It's, well, it's a secret. I just... have a big decision to make, and I know that if I tell you what it is you're gonna do everything you can to try to influence me to one side, and I don't want anyone trying to influence my decisions with emotions."
>"Oh, well, I, uh, I guess I understand then."
"I have until Wednesday to come up with my answer, and as soon as I come to my final decision, I'll let you know what it is and what my decision is."
>Rose sits back and starts to relax, but she still looks uneasy
>You don't blame her, knowing that someone's keeping something from you intentionally isn't a very good feeling
>But you had no other choice
"By the way, Tia, sorry you won't be getting that sex you were her for."
>"Oh, that's quite alright. I guess I'll be going now."
>Rose bolts forward again
>"Wait, guys, remember what I said earlier. You guys don't have to, well, stop, just because of me."
>Celestia gives her a humored smile
>"Oh, no, I couldn't ask you to leave just so I can have sex with your boyfriend behind your back."
>Celestia seems to be taking the Roselationship quite well now
>Damn, son, even you think that pun was bad
>Rose starts blushing and looks away
>Now why could that be?
>"Well, um, actually, I was hoping you guys would do it, and uh, well..."
>You and Celestia are now looking at her intently
>"I was hoping that, maybe I could, um, I mean, maybe, if you guys wouldn't mind too much, uh..."
"Yes, what is it Rosey, spit it out."
>"I was maybe hoping that, uh, well, maybe I could... watch?"

***

>You are Roseluck
"Anon, Celestia-"
>...
"Guys, please-"
>...
"Could you at least not literally roll on the floor?"
>Anonymous and Celestia are rolling on the floor
>They both look much slimmer, what with their sides being gone
>Finally, Anonymous manages to get himself under control just enough to speak
>"I-I'm sorry Rosey, but, that's just, it's too much!"
"Guys, I'm serious. I wanna see you two do it!"
>Celestia has now calmed herself enough to speak
>"A-are you sure about that? Don't you think it might be a little uncomfortable?"
"Well, maybe, it's just, I've always kinda wondered about it, you know? And I've always been a little, uncomfortable with the thought of it. That's why, even though I've had guys hit on me before, and even though I felt, well, like I wanted it, I still didn't, because I, well I guess I'm just..."
>"Just what?"
"Just... a bit, well, afraid of it."
>Celestia looks at you with an understanding tone
>"So what you're saying is that you've had those hormonal urges before, but psychologically, you've been to afraid of the idea to do through with them?"
"Yeah, that's basically it."

>Celestia looks to Anon and asks him
>"Well, what do you think, Nonny?"
>He looks at her with a puzzled expression
>"What do you mean?"
>"What do you think about letting her watch us?"
>"Wha- OH. Well, um, I, uh, I guess if she really wants to, then I'm, well... okay I'm not gonna lie and say I'd be comfortable with it, but I'm willing to do it for rose."
"Hehehehe"
>"What? What was so funny about that?"
"Hehe, '"do it" for Rose'."
>...
>"You know, sometimes you're quite childish."
>You decide to mess with Anon by putting on an innocent face and saying
"But Mr. Bateman. I AM just a child."
>"Ugh, don't remind me."
"So, whadaya say? Will you let me watch you guys?"
>He buries his head in his hands for a while
>Finally, he looks up and says
>"Fine"
>You stand up and jump, shouting "WOHOO!"
>"So," says Celestia as she stands up, "what do you say we all take this to the bedroom?"
>Anon smiles at her, and so do you
>You both give her the same response at the same time
"Right behind you"

***

>You are Anonymous
>You, Celestia, and Rose are in your bedroom
>Rose looks around before speaking to you
>"So, uh, I guess I'll just sit in this desk chair."
"Wherever you're comfortable."
>"Um, that'd be nowhere, hehe. I'm doing this to try to get myself more idea with the idea of, well, you know."
"Say it."
>She looks at you a little uneasily
>So does Celestia
>"W-what?"
"Say it. Say what you're not comfortable with. Say what Celestia and I are about to do. Oh, and look me in the eyes when you say it. Now, what are you uncomfortable with?"
>"S-s-sex." she says softly
"What was that?"
>"Sex."
"And what are Celestia and I about to have?"
>"Sex."
"And what are you about to watch?"
>"Sex."
"Now, do you still okay with all of this?"
>For a second, she looks like she might back out
>She shakes her head and looks at you confidently
>"Yes, I am."
"Alright then, let's get started."
>You and Celestia get into your normal routine
>She stands in front of you facing away, and with a little help from her, you pull her shirt up and over her before tossing it to the side
>Next you slip her pants down, exposing her bright pink panties
>Looking around her, you see your student beginning to blush a little
>Returning your attention to Celestia, you unhook her bra, and slip it down and around before discarding just like the shirt
>Rose is now blushing fairly hard
>Celestia starts to turn around, but you stop her and shake your head
>She turns back toward Rose, and tries giving her a friendly smile
>Rose reciprocates with her own smile, but it's more like a kid who's hiding something and is a afraid of getting caught
>You slip your hand down the front of Celestia's panties, and begin to rub all around her vulva with her fingers
>You find her clitoris and give it a light twist, while at the same time slipping a pinky inside her already wet tunnel of love
>Finally, you slip her panties down, exposing her dripping folds to your girlfriend
"So, Rose, starting to get a little uneasy?"
>"J-just a little..."
>Celestia, through her moans, speaks to her
>"Hey, this was your idea after all, Rosecuck."
>Suddenly Rose's breathing stops
>Your hand stops
>All atomic motion stops
>"What?"
"Did... did you just?"
>"What? I thought you'd be proud of me for making such a groanable pun."
"Tia, come one, even I thought that was was too bad to be good, not to mention insulting."
>You look to Rose and apologize for Celestia
>"Oh, come on, Nonny, I thought that injecting a little humor into the situation might help ease our guest a bit."
"How about you leave the humor to me. Say, Rose, if you want, we can stop now."
>"N-no, that's okay. If it gets to be too much for me, I'll just leave the room and watch some YouTube with my earbuds."
"Alright, then. Tia, it's your turn."
>"Mmm, I can't wait to see this." she says, moving around behind you
>She pulls your robe off, exposing your bare chest and boxers
>"Say, Anonymous?"
"Yes, Celestia?"
>"Are you, ah, sure that YOU want to go through with this? You DID say you'd be uncomfortable with this too."
"Yeah, well, I got over that pretty quick when I thought back to just what your body feels like."
>"Haha, okay then."
"But wait."
>"Okay..."
>You look to Rose one last time
"Are you ready, Rose?"
>"Y-yeah."
>She looks right at your junk and steels herself
>"I'm ready"
"Alright, then. Hit it, Tia!"

***
 
>She slips your boxers down, and your beast is unleashed
>At this point Rose begins to really live up to her name with her cheeks
"So, what do you think?"
>"I-it's, well, it looks... nice."
"Glad you like it."
>"Can I... touch it?"
>You smile at her softly
"Go right ahead."
>She cutely reaches her hand forward, and...
>Gives it a little poke before withdrawing her hand at approximately 8 times the speed of light
"Is that- are you, done?"
>"Y-yeah, now I've touched a penis. That's step one. I think I'll just go back to watching."
"Whatever suits you."
>You sit down on the bed, and Celestia moves in front of you, getting ready to go down
>You move your right leg up onto the bed
"Hey Tia, mind moving to your left a bit so Rosey can get a better view?"
>She scoots over, and Rose can get a full view of the action
>Celestia give you a few good licks to get you going as hard as possible
>She takes the head into her mouth and begins to suck on it
>You look at Rose, who's mouth you notice is agape
"That's right Rosey, you want your mouth to be open wide, just like that."
>Celestia glaces over just in time to see what you mean, and nearly jokes on your dick
>Rose quickly shuts her mouth
>As Celestia brings you closer, you look at Rose and say
"Alright, you're gonna wanna pay close attention to this."
>You're right at the edge
"Oh, and Tia, let's do it outside this time, so she can see it happen."
>Tia's so deep into it it takes her a minute to comprehend what you've said
>You begin to moan, getting louder quickly, before releasing your first shot into her mouth
>She pulls off in time for the subsequent shots to go into her open mouth and onto her face
>Rose looks on, awestruck
>You eye her up and down, and that's when you notice
>Her jeans are pulled down and her left hand is deep in her panties
"So, liking what you see so far?"
>"Y-yeah, I didn't think I would, but, I kinda actually am liking it."
"Well then, you'll like what you see here"
>Celestia trades you places, sitting on the bed with her legs spread
>Rose seems to be staring intently into it
"You seem pretty lost, there. Don't you have one of these yourself?" you ask, pointing to Tia's crotch
>"Um. Well, actually, the thing about that is, sweetie, there's something I need to tell you."
"Uhhh, Rose? Are you saying what I think you're saying?"
>"Well the thing is, I have a.. a..."
>Oh shit times eleventy infinities times the omniverse
>...
>"I have a puffy vulva."
>...
>"Anon, Celestia..."
>...
>"Guys, please..."
>...
>"Well, at least you aren't rolling around on the floors."
"Sorry, Rose. It's not that you have a, ahem, puffy vulva. It's that you were acting so cutely embarrassed about it that makes it funny."
>She puffs out her cheeks
>Celestia is trying to contain herself, but can't
>"Trying to match your puffy vulva with those puffy cheeks?"
>Rose's blushing reaches maximum capacity
>"Oh, screw you, Celestia"
"Alright, how about I get back to licking Tia's pussy and you get back to masturbating to it, alright?"
>"Sure, whatever you say, sweetie."
>You begin to run your tongue along Celestia's hot, sweet pussy, making sure to run all around her folds
>Normally this wouldn't be too exciting for a lady, but Celestia was special
>She was very sensitive all around and inside her, not just her clit and g spot
>Speaking of which, you began to look for her love button, and once you found it, you began to suck hard
>Suddenly, something catches you off guard
>You feel a small hand start jacking you off from behind
"Well, look who decided to join the party. Wanna get stripped and jump in?"
>"No, I... I'm just taking things in steps, you know?"
"Oh, yeah, yeah, that's fine. That's good, in fact. That's a good thing to do."
>"Nonny, less, talky, more licky."
"Right."
>You resume your work on Celestia, and eventually bring her to an orgasm
>Right as she's about to burst, you notice that rose is leaned over you, admiring your work, with her hand still reached down milking you
>Normally, you'd stay close and take all of what was to come, but you decided not to this time
>"Oh, Anon, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, AH!"
>Not only is Celestia sensitive, she's a squirter too
>You pull your head back and lean away, allowing you and Rose to be showered with Celestia's fluids
>"Wah! What is this? Anon! You jerk!"
"Sorry, Rose, I guess I just, I don't know why I did that honestly."
>"Well, I can't say I enjoy being soaked in juices from another woman."
"Oh, come on, it's hot."
>"For you, maybe, but imagine being hit in the face by another guys semen. That's how I feel right now."
"O-oh. Yeah, I-I guess I never thought about that."
>"You don't think much at all, Nonny."
"Fuck off, Tia."
>"Tell you what, sweetie, how about you do to me what you did to Celestia in the beginning there."
"You mean give you a facial? Are you sure you're ready for that?"
>"I think I'll be fine. You've already dragged me a little further into this than I would've liked anyway."
>Damn, it really stings to realize how bad you fucked up
>Not to mention that cold glare she gives you
"Wow, I, I am REALLY sorry about that. I guess I just-"
>"Hup! It's okay, I guess.  No need to apologize so much. I mean, it's kinda like being pushed into a pool of cold water before you were ready. Now that I'm in, it's not too bad."
>She begins to really pick up the pace of her pumping
"Well, we'll be done in no time if you keep this up."
>And in fact, you were getting close
"I'm about to bust it, Rose. You ready?"
>"Yep."
"I'd recommend closing your eyes right about now."
>She does as told, and you shoot a few sticky globs of cum onto her face
>She keeps her mouth closed the whole time
>Must not be ready to taste it
>She begins to smile a bit, and even giggles
>You look over to Celestia, who's rubbing herself and twitching, lost in her own little world, then back to Rose
>"It feels so gooey and weird. It's actually kind of a nice feeling. I imagine it'd be bad to get in my eyes, though."
"Or your mouth, if you don't like the taste."
>"Speaking of which..." she says, before wiping a glob of it up with her finger
>After a moment's hesitation, she goes ahead and tastes it
>"Blech! Oh, that's kinda gross!"
>Celestia springs up, still rubbing it out
>"It's just an acquired taste. Anonymous' is actually relatively tasty as far as semen goes.'
"It's all in the diet", you say proudly.
>Rose stands up and gets ready to walk away
>"I think I need to wipe this off."
"Here," you say, handing her your boxers
>"Geez, Anon, could you be more lewd?"
"You say that as if you didn't just voluntarily have me give you a facial."
>She finishes wiping her face off and discards your cummy underpants.
>"So, are you guys gonna do it now?"
"Well, I'm gonna need a few minutes to recharge."
>"Well, I'm not gonna do anything with Celestia. She's not really my type, what with being another female and all."
"You know, sometimes I forget that completely straight girls exist. Anyway, what do you wanna do for the next couple of minutes?"
>She puts her hand on her chin
>"Hmmm."
>"O-oh-OOOH!"
>Celestia leans back and convulses, riding another orgasm
>You and Rose turn back to each other
"Anyway, got any ideas?"
>"Actually, I just realized something."
"What's that?"
>"You've never kissed me."
"Oh. OH. Yeah, right. I guess we got a little ahead of ourselves."
>"So, what do you say we make out until you're ready to bang Celestia for my amusement?"
"Sounds good to me."
>You draw Rose close to you, and for the first time your lips meet hers
>You taste the sweet taste of her lips, and smell the scent of her sweat
>Mixed with some of your own jizz, too
>But that didn't matter
>Nothing could put a damper on this moment
>Wasting no time, or maybe making up for lost time, she slips her tongue into your mouth
>You push back with yours, and after a minute, the two of you have a steady rhythm dancing your tongues back and forth
>The feeling of making out with her has resurrected your little Anon quicker than usual
"Well, I think I'm ready to get back to it."
>"Great, I'll take a seat and watch. But first, let me give you a little gift."
>She pulls her jacket and shirt off, giving you a view of her strawberry colored bra
>But she doesn't stop there for very long
>She undoes the clasps on her bra
>Looking away and blushing hard, she lets it drop down, exposing her bare chest
>They were a tad on the small side compared to many women you knew, especially Celestia
>On the other hand, they were pretty average overall
>And they way they perk up is nice too
>Rose takes her seat back on the chair and gets ready
>You look behind you and notice that Celestia is started to get dressed again
>"I'm terribly sorry, you two, but I have to go, now."
"Aww, are you sure? My girlfriend really really wants to see me fuck you."
>"I'm afraid it'll have to wait."
>Rose similarly starts to get dressed again
>"Well, I'm off. Goodbye Anonymous. Goodbye Rose."
>"Bye, Celestia."
"Later, Tia."

***

>You are Rose are now in your room alone
>Rose is fully clothed, but you're still stark naked
>You decide to throw your robe on to make things more comfortable for her
"So, I guess you're done for now, huh?"
>"Oh yeah, I think I've done enough. You're not upset about that are you? Because if you really are, I suppose I could-"
>You raise up a hand to cut her off
"No no, it's fine. More than fine, actually. You already did a lot more than I expected after dating me for..."
>You check your wall clock
"An hour and forty-five minutes. I totally understand if you wanna take a break and take things slowly from now on."
>"Well, I've known about you for a long time before now. I've even been to a few of the study groups you've tutored. I was always pretty quiet though, so not a lot of people notice me."
>"To me, you've always been something of an idol. I've always been infatuated with the idea of you, so I thought that maybe if I got a chance to get to know you for real, I might actually like you for who you are. And it turns out, I do."
"I-, you-, that's so sweet. You're really doing a number on my heartstrings here."
>"I think after I get to know you well enough, I'll probably go all the way with you. But I wanna spend at minimum a full week with you, maybe more."
"I agree. To be perfectly honest, I too am actually looking forward to dating you because of who you are now, rather than just humor you and play along with it. You might just get me hooked on this whole 'dating non-sexually' thing."
>She gives a bit of a giggle at you, and you feel something you haven't felt in a while
>You felt genuinely happy with yourself
>"Well it looks like we have something in common. We both got into this thinking it was just a silly idea, but now we both think it's something real worth giving a shot."
"Remember what I said about how childish you can be sometimes?"
>"Yeah?"
"Well sometimes, you can be more mature than anyone I know."
">She blushes and looks genuinely happy about your compliment
>She walks over to you and wraps her arms around you, embracing you warmly
>You return it by draping your arms around her shoulders
"So, what should we do now? You can pick anything you like."
>"Well..."
>She ponders for a moment
>"I'd like to visit my parents and tell them about us. But we might wanna leave out what just happened here."
"That's probably for the best. Let me just shower and we can head out."
>"I think I also need a shower too."
>She lets go and slips away from you, headed for your bedroom door
>A slight grin forms on your face
"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"
>"That we should take separate showers and get dressed separately? Yeah."
>You pout and cross your arms at her
"You know that's not what I was thinking."
>She smiles and gives you a nudge on the rib with her elbow
>"Yeah, I know."

***

>You and Rose are in the car on your way to her house
>The two of you were going over plans on how to approach this
>"So I'll go in first and break the news to them. My mom will be a little nervous about it, and my dad will wanna know everything right away."
"And I'll just wait in the car for this?"
>"Right. I'll mention that you're waiting in the car, and that they can meet you right away."
"Got it."
>The drive to her house is a short one since the two of you lived on the same side of town
>You pull up to her house and parallel park in front
>"Okay, wait here, I'll be right back."
>Rose gets out of the car and heads inside
>You pull down your sun visor and open the mirror
"Alright, Anon, you've got this. You just gotta play it cool. She said her parents are chill. That's good, but it's NOT an excuse to let your guard down."
>After several minutes of waiting, Rose comes out with her mom and dad, and boy, do they not look happy
>You've kept the car running, now it's time to make a decision
>Floor it, or get out and face them?
>After checking thoroughly and not noticing any rifles, shotguns, or telltale bulges of a handgun, you decide to face them
>You switch off the ignition and open your car door
>As you approach, you notice that they're both smiling at you
>This is good, this is a good sign

>The father, a tall, muscular man wearing jeans and a plaid flannel shirt, is the first to speak
>"So, you're the young man that wants to be our youngest daughter's boyfriend."
>As he says this, his expression turns to one of curiosity, and a bit of disbelief
>Like that of a CIA agent who's just been told that the prisoners he's being given work for Bane
>Alright, just as you planned, here goes
"That's right. I see something truly special in her, and just being around her is enough to make me happier than you can imagine."
>Her mom gives you a slightly psychopathic but still genuine-looking smile
>"Oh, come in, dear. It'd be nice for your to meet the whole family. After all, we've got everyone together here, so now's the perfect time."
"Thank you for inviting me in. I look forward to meeting all of you."|
>So far so good
>Your manners impeccable, you step politely into their home
>Several people are gathered in a living room straight ahead of you, with stairs to the right leading upward, and a kitchen and dining area to the left
>Among the persons in front of you were:
>A pink woman with blonde hair, who looked to be some few years older than you
>A slightly darker pink girl who looked to be right around your age
>Two guys, one brown, with darker brown hair, and one white, with light brown hair, and the most kickass muttonstache you've ever seen
>And finally, there was a female toddler, appearing to belong to the blonde woman and the King of Facial Hair
>"So, these are my older sisters, Lily Valley and Daisy. The tall guy with Lily is her husband, Ace, and the guy with Daisy is her husband, Forge. The little girl there is Lily and Ace's daughter, Dandelion, or Dandy for short."
>They all give you their "hi"s and "nice to meet you"s
>Rose's father comes up behind you and extends your hand
>Wanting to be as polite as you can, you turn around and shake his hand firmly
>"Speaking of introductions, I forgot to introduce myself. My name's Jack. Lumber Jack."
>No amount of will power could stop you from snorting at that
>Trying your best to cover your huge smile with your mouth, you look at Rose worriedly
>Oddly enough, she doesn't seem worried at all at your totally uncouth outburst
>Suddenly her dad lets out a hearty laugh and smiles at you
>"You know, of all the prospective boyfriends my daughters have brought to me, you're the first one that's had the balls to laugh at that. Anyway, my real name's Timber Forrest. It's nice to meet you."
>Damn, dude, Neo ain't got shit on your bullet-dodging skills
"Nice to meet you too. I must say, you have an acute sense of humor."
>His wife walks up next to him and extends her had for a shake
>"I'm Juniper Forrest. It's nice to meet you."
"Juniper Forrest, you say? Did you happen to take part of your husbands name?"
>"Why, yes, I did. I know it's not very common, but it works in our case."
"Indeed. It reminds me of the Cake couple from sugar cube corner. Did you know that Mrs. Cakes maiden name is O'Flour?"
>"No, I had no idea. Well, why don't you come in and sit down?"
>You take her offer and sit down in a comfy armchair
>Rose and her parents sit down on a couch opposite you, with Rose in the middle
>God, she looks so sweet and innocent and childish
>She's cute in that way
>Wait
>Eh, fuck it, being attracted to innocence in a physically developed woman doesn't make you a pedo
>Timber leans forward and asks
>"So, Mr. Bateman. Why don't you tell us about yourself?"|
>Alright, here it is
>The real moment of truth
>What you say next is going to make or break this for you
"Well, I'm twenty-three years old, and I'm a substitute teacher at Canterlot High."
>Everything stops
>Her dad looks at you with a shocked expression
>Like that of a CIA agent who's just discovered that one of the prisoners he's been given IS Bane
>"Did you say you're twenty-three?"
"That's right. Twenty-three years young, haha."
>Oh shit dude, what the fuck did you say that for?
>Now they think you're a cradle robber AND a smartass
>"So, Mr. Bateman, if you don't mind me asking, what exactly made you decide to pursue our daughter in the first place, as opposed to a woman who's, a little closer to your own age?"
>You take a bug gulp and prepare to speak
>Your mouth is so dry you can barely talk, but you push through it
"Well, to be honest, sir, I didn't really 'pursue' her at all. She approached me first, and I was actually opposed to the idea at first. N-not because there's anything wrong with your daughter of course, but on the principal of, well, you know, the age difference and everything."
>"I see. So what made you change your mind?"
"Well, as I explained to Rose, people seem to have this idea in their heads that I'm, well, uh. M-maybe the little one shouldn't be here for this."
>Your plan to stall for time may look somewhat shitty, but on the other hand it may be seen as caring instead
>Please please be the latter
>Lily looks over at her daughter, who's humming and coloring in the corner
>"Thanks for the concern, but I don't think she's paying attention."
>Her dad looks back at you and says
>"Right, go on..."
>Oh good, they're seeing it in a positive way.
"Well, as I was saying, some people seem to think I'm, well, a pervert, and it often causes them to assume that I have something, well, sexual going on with my students. I couldn't tell you why they think that honestly. A lot of parents seem to have singled me out to assume I'm that kind of guy when I'm not."
>"I see. So what you're saying is that you didn't want people to know you were having sex with my daughter, because then they'd have an actual reason to believe those things about you and your students. Is that right?"
>Oh shit dog, you gotta save this fast
"What? No, no, nononononononono. You've got it all wrong. You see, the thing is, even though Rose is of the age of consent, she's a student at the school, which would make it illegal anyway."
>NOW YOU FUCKED UP! NOW YOU FUCKED UP!
>You messed up the fucking order!
>You were supposed to start by saying you weren't gonna have sex with her, dumbass!
>You are fucking dead!
>Your ass is grass!
>Rose is grimacing and looking away while simultaneously blushing
>Oh, and if your palms were any more wet you could wash a car with them
>"Wait, wait, Rose is one of YOUR students?"
"Well, you COULD say that, but not quite. I mean, like I said, I'm just a substitute, and I happened to be teaching Rose's class that day."
>"I see. And how did Rose even know you, then?"
>Well, you're still in pretty deep, but the fact that he's gone off on this new subject means you can still save this
"I've subbed a number of classes there over the past few years, and I also tutor many students outside of classes, including Roseluck on a few occasions."
>Juniper chimes in for the first time
>"So, what was that you were saying about Rose being of age to consent?"
>WOW WHAT A FUCKING BITCH, OKAY THAT'S A DICK MOTHERFUCKING MOVE, ASSHOLE
"Right, so as I was saying, even though I didn't have any plans to have any kind of sexual relations with her anyway, that wouldn't stop people from assuming I was, and even reporting me for it. I wouldn't be the first victim of that sort of thing."
>"Well, if what you're saying is true, then I know where you're coming from. A family accused me of raping their daughter and taught her what to say to the police to back it up. The idea was to extort money from me. Fortunately they didn't succeed."
>HOLY DEUS EX MACHINA, BATMAN! SYMPATHY!
"Yeah, I can only imagine that."
>Her mom again puts her two cents in
>"So what made you change your mind and decide to date her anyway?"
>Now she's even helping you out, giving you the perfect opportunity to get back on track and get the story straight
"So," you say, clearing your throat,
"Since I didn't really want to get in any way involved with a student out of fear of false accusations, like I already mentioned, I wanted to give myself a way out."
>You look at Rose and smile
"And looking back on it, I'm glad it didn't work."
>For a moment, everything else was gone
>There was only you and Rose
>No stress, no worries, no potentially homicidal family surrounding you
>Alas, we must snap back to reality
"So, I told her that it'd be too risky to date her. She begged me to reconsider, and that's when I decided to let her know about the co-worker loophole."
>Her dad is back to looking curious, and no longer angry
>"Co-worker loophole? Do tell me more. You've peaked my interest now."
"Well, because I have what's known as a 'professional relationship' with Rose, it'd be illegal for me to engage in any sexual activities with her, IF I were going to, that is. I wouldn't, of course, but this was just in case someone accused me of-"
>"Yes, yes, go on. I think I know where this is going."
>You hope so
"The idea behind it is that I could use my influence over her to void her ability to consent, or rather, NOT consent. But, the definition of a 'professional relationship' does not apply if she's employed by the same employers as I am, meaning it'd be legal again."
>"So you refused to date her unless she became your co-worker."
"Indeed. To be honest, the idea wasn't even for me to have a defense if someone did accuse me of sleeping with her, the idea was to get her to give up on me. Think that I wasn't worth it, or something."
>"And so that's why she got that job as a-"
>Suddenly, everyone in the room starts snickering
>"I'm sorry, but, have you heard what job she got?"
"Yeah, she told me this morning at my aparment."
>YOU DENSE MOTHER FUCKER
>"She was at your home?"
>You've made it this far, you can pull off at least one more
"Yeah, she and the school Principal came over today, as we had planned."
>"Oh really? And, if you don't mind my asking, what were the three of you there for?"
>Keep it going
>Bullshit for the bullshit god
"Well, as a matter of fact, I was recently offered to take a permanent teaching position at the school. Principal Celestia was there to discuss that with me."
>"Well, congratulations. But what was Rose there for?"
"Well, as you know, I have a lot of experience tutoring the young people of the school. They tend to feel comfortable around me."
>You decide to take a gamble on some humor
>You lean forward, put your hand next to your mouth and mumble out the side of it
"Even if their dumb parents aren't"
>Her dad smiles widely, but her mom looks a bit, well,
>'Offended' isn't really the word, but she looked as though you'd crossed a line just a bit
>Oh well, one for two, and it's the big scary one that had the positive reaction
"So, even though we didn't get around to the details of it due to a scheduling mishap, I assume Celestia wanted me to help explain everything about Rose's new job to her. Maybe even just be there to reassure her. A big part of what I do, after all, is to help students get over their anxiety and fear of failing."
>Rose, who's been silent this whole time, finally speaks
>Not to you, but to her parents
>"Remember when you asked what i liked about him, and I said I wasn't sure how to put it? Well, that's it. It's the way he's so kind and compassionate, willing to help out everyone around him to be as good as they can be."
>Yes, that's it Rose, sugar coat me for your mommy and daddy so they'll like me
>"I see. Based on what I've heard about you from my darling daughter, you seem like a very nice guy."
>Your relieved sigh could inflate balloon animals for the children of Australia for a whole year
"Thank you. I'm glad you feel that way. I'll admit, she does flatter me more than I deserve, though."
>"Oh, come on, Anon, you know that's not true. I like you for who you are, and who you are is a great guy."
>Daisy, Lily, Ace, and Forge all tilt their heads to the side and go
>"Awwwwww."
>Rose pouts at them, while you and the parents all share a chuckle
>"Well, Anon, I'm going to go discuss things with my wife. We'll be back in just a moment. Feel free to sit with Rose or chat with everyone until we get back."
>You get up and move over to the couch to sit with Rose
"Sooo, how'd I do?"
>Before Rose has a chance to answer, Forge suppresses laughter to talk to you
>"If I were you, I'd start running now."
>Ace smiles before adding
>"Yeah, man. If you stay here you're a dead man. Better climb out that window while you can."
>Daisy gives her husband a smack on the head, and Lily flicks hers in the ear
>Forge responds by smiling and giving his wife a playful punch on the arm
>Come to think of it, these guys can't be older than twenty-one or so at most
>Wait, Daisy, that's the one with the three year age gap, right? Or was is Lily?
>Nah, definitely not Lily, there's no way the dad would be cool with the FIRST boyfriend being that much older
>Lily looks at you and tried to reassure you
>"You did just fine. Admittedly you were pretty shaky. In fact we all thought you blew it a few times. I guess you just need to get better at explaining things in the right order."
>Ace gives you a smile and a nod
>"Yeah, and don't worry too much about the old man. When i started dating Lily, she was only fifteen, but I was seventeen,"
>Ah, so it WAS Lily
>"I thought for sure there was no way he was gonna allow it, but he did. Granted he was on my ass twenty-four seven, but hey, it's better than nothing, right?"
>Lily snuggles up against him
>"I'd say it's definitely better than nothing."
>"Mommy, I want juice."
>Oh yeah, there's a kid here
>"Okay sweetie. You wait right here with daddy, I'll go get you some appy juice, okay?"
>As she leaves, you notice Ace, who's look at you, who's looking at Dandelion
>"Cute, isn't she?"
"Wha-huh? Oh, yeah, she's, she's very cute. I was just lost in thought about, uh, you know, how well-behaved she is. Like I don't know what it is, but all the toddlers I've seen manage to turn anything, even asking for juice, into an excuse to get mad and throw a fit. But her, she's so calm and polite. Quiet, seems to be able to entertain herself pretty well. I didn't know kids could be this, well, nice."
>"Haha, well thanks. We've been raising her from day one to be kind and courteous. We wanna show her all the love we can, but at the same time, there's times when you just have to be firm."
"Well, I don't deal with little kids, but I know what you mean about having to be firm when you wish you didn't have to."
>"It's okay, though. As long as we have a happy, healthy daughter, nothing can bring us down."
>"Come on, dude, you're making us jealous."
>Daisy's looking over at her brother-in-law with a fake pout, just like Rose's
>Must run in the family
"What do you mean? I assumed you guys didn't want any kids yet since you're still pretty young."
>"Actually, we've been trying to have kids for the past year or so, but the thing is, both Forge and I have, well, complications when it comes to fertility. The doctors have said it's not out of the question, but it'll be difficult without expensive procedures."
"Oh. I-I'm sorry to hear that."
>"It's fine, you didn't know, and as for what you said about us being young, well, you have a point there. This just gives us more time to enjoy being young, right?"
"Yeah, that's how I've looked at it. Personally, I never, uh, actually wanted to have kids. Not that I don't like 'em or anything, it's just, I never really felt like it was for me, you know? But hey, if I could have a kid, and I knew he or she was gonna be like Dandelion, I'd probably go for it."
>"Hey, trust me man, you don't know how she can get sometimes."
"Yeah, I know. To be honest I don't really have a lot of faith in myself to be able to pull it off anyway."
>"Hey, when i was twenty-three, I felt the same way. Now here I am, twenty-nine, looking back and saying, 'Why did I ever doubt myself?'."
"I guess."
>Lily comes back, along with her parents
>Her father stands before you, a solemn look on his face
>"well, Mr. Bateman,"
>Uh, oh, that's not a good sign
>"We've considered many factors, including but not limited to your financial situation, and the age gap between you,"
>Oh no, please, no
>Please, god, no!
>Please let him be trolling
>"and we've reached our decision. Mr. Bateman,"
>In that split second, you lose all hope
>Everything is gone
>Even though it's only been a short time, you want this
>You want this so badly, you've worked so hard for it
>Rose, your beacon in this dark moment, squeezes your hand, and you see a smile start to form
>Even though she knows as well as you do that you're going to get nixed, she still smiles for you
>But wait a minute
>It's not a smile of warmth, or of pity
>It's a devious smile
>She knows something you don't
>MOTHER-
>"Welcome to the family."

***

>You are Dandelion
>You don't know why, but everyone is cheering and patting that big green guy on the back
>You wish they weren't so loud, it makes it hard to color
>All around you they're talking about how he's "one of us", whatever that means
>At first you were scared of him, but mommy and daddy seem to like him, so he must be nice
>If he's "family" now, maybe you can get him to color with you
>Let's try it
>You walk over to him, and tug on his pants
"Excuse me, mister, since you're our family now, will you color with me?"
>He smiles down at you and says
>"Sure, I'd love to."
"Okay."
>Finally, someone to color with
>It was nice when mommy and daddy color with you, but no one ever does any more
>So you just sit in the corner, coloring alone
>Listening to everything that the grown ups are saying
>This guy is gonna be dating aunt Rose
>That means he's gonna be the daddy and she's gonna be the mommy, but they won't have any kids yet
>You sit down and go for your red crayon, but the green man picks it up first
"Hey!"
>You slap him on the back of the hand to make him drop the crayon
>"Dandy!"
>Uh oh, that doesn't sound good
>Oh yeah, mommy doesn't like it when you slap people
>Why do you always forget that?

>You are Anonymous
>You've just been slapped by a toddler for trying to take her red crayon
"Ha ha, I was wondering when I'd see your naughty side."
>"Funny," says Daisy, "you think you'd be saying that to Rose."
>Lily shoots her a nasty look, clearly not wanting her daughter to be part of such jokes
>You flash Daisy a smirk and reply
"Soon enough, lady."
>You whip around and look at her father, almost snapping your neck in doing so
"That was a joke I swear."
>"Ha ha, I figured as much. You've really got quite a knack for comedy."
>"Just wait until you hear his puns." says Rose, cringing and blushing a bit as she does so
"Try not to blush so hard, sweetie,"
>You look at her father yet again
"Is it okay if I call her 'sweetie'?"
>"Really, man? You're actually asking me that right now? Come on, now."
"Right, right. Anyway, try not to blush so hard, sweetie. You're looking pretty..."
>You shuffle your self over on your knees while rotating your pointing hands in a circle
>Finally, pointing at Rose, you finish the joke with...
"Rosey."
>Suddenly, everything stops
>The whole family's breathing stops
>Even the little girl's coloring stops
>After what feels like an eternity, Rose's dad reaches behind a bookshelf next to him and pulls out...
>A baseball bat
>Come on, man, it wasn't THAT bad
>He hands the bat to Rose, before leaning over
>"Rose, be a dear and hit me on the head as hard as you can."
>"Only if you promise to return the favor."
>After saying this, she drops the bat and smiles at you
>"But seriously though. You think those kinds of puns haven't been done before?"
"Uh... I guess I never really thought about that."
"What about her?" you saying, pointing to Daisy
"What about-"
>"'Hi, I'm Daisy'? Yeah, been done."
"Well what about Lily. I've heard that she's not very brave. I guess you could say she's-"
>"Lily-livered? Yeah, we do say that. A lot."
>Oh fuck man, you really need an Ace in the hole
>Ayyyyyyyyyyy
"But her husband's there for her whenever she needs him, though, right?"
>"Yeah, he's her 'Ace' in the hole. You done?"
>This will not fucking stand!
>You are Anonymous, devout follower and prophet to the legendary Carlos Ramon
>Now is the time to prove yourself
"So, to change the subject: Lily and Ace have a kid. Forge and Daisy are trying. What about you, Rose? Have you ever thought about children?"
>"Oh, I think about children, alright."
>Her father pinches her ear
>"Rose! That was highly inappropriate! I thought I've told you not to make off-color jokes like that."
"Ow ow ow ow. Anon! Help me out here?"\
>Grinning wildy from ear to ear, you spot the perfect opportunity for a joke
>Not the pun you're building up to, but it'll do in the mean time
>"Sorry, Rose, but this is a family matter. As your teacher, I'm not allowed to get into issues between a student and their parent."
>"Oh ho! This guy gets it!"
"You know, to be honest, this right here is probably the most awkward thing about this whole ordeal for me. I mean, here I am, and adult, haven't been told what to do by my parents in three years, and here's my girlfriend,"
>You point to Rose
"Getting punished by her dad for making an off-color joke. It'll be an adjustment, but if it's for Rose, then it's worth it."
>"Yeah, to be honest, I almost disallowed this because of the exact reason you just gave. But you know what? It's like you said. If it's for Rose and her happiness, it's worth it."
>Man, you've really started to connect with this guy
>"Oh, and um, just so you know, what you two do is, well, your business. She's practically an adult now anyway, so, she has a right to make her own decisions about that. Just, take care of her, okay? Just because she's been thinking about children doesn't mean she's ready for them."
"Whoa, okay, I think we need to back it up a bit. Rose and I have been an official couple for all of five hours. Five... hours. We haven't even been on an actual date yet. Trust me, you have nothing to worry about there."
>"I understand, but I also know how easy it is for guys to want to rush things along faster than they ought to go, if you know what I'm saying. I did that once, and, well, the family you see all around you is the result of that."
>Whoa
>Okay, this guy must really trust you if he's sharing details like that
>But then again, given how comfortable he seems with it, it might not be a big deal to him
>No reason to keep it a secret after all this time, right? Past is in the past, and so forth
>"I just wanted to make it clear that I'm serious about my daughter, and I want what's best for her."
"That's something we have in common."
>Oh right, you almost forgot
"I especially want to wait until she's ready, eventually, because she's well, you know,"
>"A virgin?"
"Right. Come to think of it, she's the only one of her sisters that is."
>Come on man, keep it together, don't let them see you smile
>They won't know it's coming if you stay casual
"So, that means Rose is the only one who hasn't been-"
>But before you can finish that sentence, her entire family says the same thing all together
>The exact same thing you were going to say
>One single word
>"Deflowered."

What feels like hours pass, as you look at her family, all of whom are staring intently at you
>Inside you, a rage is building
>You can't have met your match
>This can't be happening!
>YOU COULD HAVE PREVENTED THIS!
>With nothing else to do, you look toward the sky with your fists rage, and let out an incredible roar of pure anger
>As you finish, you fall on your face and begin to weep
>You don't see it, but you can imagine that they're all looking at you like you're crazy
>Suddenly, an audible growl can be heard from somewhere nearby
>You spring up and look around
"Do you guys have a dog or something?"
>Daisy looks up at you sheepishly
>"No, that's my stomach."
>Forty keks
>Her dad bops himself on the forehead like he's just remembered something
>"Oh, that reminds me. We were all going out to Des Tas De Blé to celebrate Rose's new job. How would you like to come with us, Anon? Oh, you mind if I call you Anon?"
"Of course, and, I'd love to. Thank you for inviting me with you. It'll be nice to sit down to dinner with all of you."

>You got to the restaurant with Rose riding along with you
"How come you didn't want to ride with your family?"
>"Well for one thing, rule number one of having a boyfriend is to limit contact with your sisters. Unless of course you're a masochist who enjoys being teased."
"Ah. So, what can I expect from this place? Of course I'm going to pay for myself, and I was thinking of paying for yours too."
>"Well the name of the place is literally French slang for 'loads of money', so make of that what you will."
"Wait, did you say, 'loads of money'?"
>"Yeah. That's actually what the place is called in French. It's actually a pun though because the slang word used for money literally means 'wheat', 'corn' or 'grain', so the name can be taken as 'loads of money' or 'heaps of grain'. Why do you ask, anyway?"
"So, in French, since their language is a bit different, would that be spelled 'L-O-D-S-OF-E-M-O-N-E'?"
>"Wait, what does THAT spell?"
>Oh she makes it too easy
>You look upward and shout
"LOADSAMONEY!"
>Then you put your hand next to your mouth and lean toward her
"Prob'ly."
>...
>"I'm guessing that that's some kind of reference I'm not getting."
"Ah, it's before your time. Hell, before my time too. I think your old man was young when it came out."
>"Hmmm."
 
>You get to the restaurant, and boy, is it fancy
>The building seems to be constructed entirely of white stone and marble like an ancient Greek palace, but with French architecture
>Good thing you always wear a suit everywhere
>Ooooh, that's right
>It's Sunday, so you're not wearing your suit
>Oh well, your current outfit is far from shabby
>Slacks, a dress shirt, a sweater vest, a tie, and loafers
>Still looking sharp
"Alright, sweetie, you ready for our first date?"
>Panic sets in on her face
>"Hey, whoa! It's not a date if my family is there."
>Time for more ribbing
"But you're just a kid. Your family should be there to supervise all our dates."
>"But isn't supervising other people's children pretty much your job?"
"I- well, uh, damn, you got me there."
>"Hurry up, I'm starving"
"Right behind you."
 
>The evening goes pretty uneventfully
>You ordered an expensive fish meal, Rose got a steak, and her family all got assorted things
>Things are, for the most part, unremarkable
>Until, at one point, Rose's mother points out something you never thought of
>"So, with Rose working after school, you won't get much of a chance to spend time with her except on weekends, eh?"
>You looks up at her, surprised, but then you realize it for yourself
"Uh, huh. I guess I didn't think about that. Oh well, I generally have work to do and stay late after the school is closed anyway. Nights and weekends would be our only personal time together anyway."
>"Oh well. As long as you have time together, that's what matters, right?"
"Right."
>You stare into your plate, before setting down your utensils
"Can I just say, that this... this still just feels, absolutely unreal. No, it's not because I'm actually dating one of my students. It's not that she's six years my junior, and a minor. It's not even that her parents are okay with all of this. It's that, well, that I've found someone like her at all."
>You look around the table, at all the faces watching you give your speech
"To be honest, even though I've fooled around with, uh, romance, before, I've never actually felt, well, how do i put this? I've never felt connected to anyone before. The idea of a serious girlfriend that I actually have genuine feelings for, it's a new concept to me. So I just wanted to thank you for enabling me to have that for the first time in my life."
>Tears
>Tears everywhere
>Except Dandelion
>She's been coloring the kids' menu
>Her father looks at you and places his hand on yours
>On the surface, it's a little homo for your liking, but you know what he means by it
>"It's our pleasure. I only ask one things in return."
"What's that?"
>"Stay with her. Keep her happy. Keep her safe. Give your all to her."
>You look down at your hand, then back up to him
>You look him directly in the eye, and with the utmost sincerity
"Sir?"
>"Yes, Anon?"
>...
"That's four things."
>Laughter
>Laughter everywhere
>Including Dandelion this time
>Funny thing about babies is that when the people around them laugh, they laugh too, like it's an instinct
>Guess Dandy hasn't outgrown that yet
>As the meal winds down, you say your goodbyes to Rose's family
>As you're walking to your car, Rose stops you
>"Wait right here."
"Ooooookay."
>She runs over to her parents and huddles with them
>They shrug, and you overhear her dad say
>"I suppose you're old enough to make that decision. You'll have to go ask him."
>She jogs back over to you
>"So, Anon, I was wondering if, well, if I could join you, for a, well, I guess you could say a sleepover?"
"Uh, are you sure that's a good idea?"
>"Please, pretty please?"
"Well, as long as it's a sleepover and not a sleep-with, then I'm fine with it."
>"Yay! I'll get some stuff I need from home and be over in about forty-five minutes."
"Great, see you there."
>On the drive home, you wondered what the motivation was for this
>Maybe just to get comfortable spending the night there?
>Yeah, that's probably it
>After all, she does like to take this stuff in steps, after all
 
>Eight forty-five, post meridian
>Seven hours and thirty minutes since you officially agreed to be Roseluck's boyfriend
>Now she's just come inside your apartment to spend the night
"So, what do you wanna do?"
>"Well, the reason I came over was to spend some personal time with you before we begin our routine of working back and forth."
"I see, and ah, what did you have in mind by 'quality time'?"
>"Well, I was thinking we could chat, read, study, watch tv or something. Maybe cuddle. Non-sexually, of course."
"Sounds good to me. Why don't you have a seat over there, and I'll bring us some drinks. No alcohol for you, though."
>She gives you a mischievous grin
"No, Rose. I've done all this to avoid doing something illegal."
>"No, not that, it's just..."
>She's snickering now, almost uncontrollably
>"It's just that... shouldn't you be the one who's being offered a seat over there?"
>...
"Rose,"
>...
"Rose, please..."
>...
"Could you at least not literally roll on the floor?"

>The rest of the night was spent telling stories of your pasts on the couch with Rose on your left, cuddling the whole time
>Non-sexually, of course
>Until...
>"Anon, I-, I-I'm really feeling something."
"What is it, Shulk?"
>"I-it's something hot, down there."
"Rose, I don't-"
>"Please, I'm not asking you to have sex with me, just give me some kind of release. Please."
>You sigh
"Alright, I'll, reach in there and, well, you know..."
>"Please. It's been building up for so long, and I've been trying to ignore it, but I can't any more."
>You feel around under the blanket you're sharing, until your hand finds her crotch
>You begin to rub her through her pajama pants
>Her face turns to one that, on the surface, appears to be pain, but you know better
>But just in case
"Does it hurt?"
>"N-no, keep going."
>You slip your hand under her pajamas, feeling for her wet spot on her panties
>Sure enough, you find it, and apply pressure
>"Ugh, s-sq-"
"What? What is it?"
>"P-p-play.. w-wi-with..."
>You reach your other hand up her shirt and begin to massage her breast
"You're not wearing a bra to my sleepover."
>"Y-y-ye-yeah, s-s-so?"
>You lean in next to her ear and whisper
"Ha ha, I was wondering when I'd see your naughty side."
>As the realization hits her, the cutest thing ever happens
>She begins laughing and moaning at the same time, each laughing convulsion grinding her body against you, resulting in a pleasure convulsion
>Eventually she's back down to just moaning
>"Please, do it. All the way."
"Okay."
>You slip your hand inside her panties and begin to feel all around her wet slit
>You begin to pump your middle finger in and out of her, while grinding her clit with your palm
"You know, you were right."
>"About what?"
"You really do have a puffy vulva."
>"S-stop that!"
>Not wanting to violate her consent, you quickly withdraw your hand
>"No, not that, dummy. I meant the teasing!"
"Oh, right, right, sorry."
>You go back to fingering her the way you were before, and she slips her hand down the front of your sweats, starting to work your erection with her hand
"Personally, I think it's very cute."
>"Y-you haven't even s-seen it yet."
"I've seen it the same way a blind person would see it, and I think I actually prefer it this way."
>She chuckles a bit, her breathing getting heavy and her body moving sharply
>You can tell she's close
>"Are you saying you'd want to be blind?"
>You smile and bring her face close to yours, cradling her head in your hand
"Of course not. Because then I wouldn't be able to see your beautiful face."
>You pull her into a deep kiss, her moaning into your mouth driving you crazy with love
>She finishes all over your hand, her panties, her pajamas, your blanket, your couch
>Fuck your couch
>Literally
>She tiredly falls down, her head resting on your lap
>"Thank you, sweetie. I needed that."
"Anything for you, my love."
>"I suppose I should return the favor."
"Only if you're sure you want to."
>"Yeah, I think I do."
>She pulls your package free from your pants and boxers, and brings it over by her head
>She starts suckling on the tip in the cutest way possible, while pumping it with her left hand
"Oh, Rose, this is, man this is just so-"
"Shh, just enjoy it."
>She pops back onto your dick, taking a little more than just the tip this time
>You place a hand on her head and start petting her softly
"Rose, you're a natural at this. I'm starting to get pretty close. You want it on your face again?"
>She shakes her head before resuming her routine
"Rose, I'm almost there, if you don't stop soon I'm gonna pop it in your mouth."
>She nods her head this time, and you realize that that's what she wanted the whole time
>With one final groan, your hips drive upward, and you release globs of sticky semen right into her mouth
>She doesn't stop sucking though
>She just keeps going, swallowing it all and suckling away
"Ah, ah, Rose, sweetie, I'm done, time to stop now."
>She shakes her head at you
"Rose, really, stop!"
>She just drives her head further down your shaft
>At this point it's too much to take
>You grab her by the head and shove her off to the side
>"Waaah!"
>She falls on the floor and looks up to you with an angry demeanor
>"What the Hell was that for?"
"I'm sorry, Rose, but, I told you to stop for a reason!"
>"What, it didn't feel good when I kept sucking on it?"
"NO!"
>She looks at you like she thinks you're bullshitting her
>"What do you mean, 'no'?"
"After a man orgasms, the tip of his penis becomes super sensitive. If you keep sucking on it like that it can be overwhelming, even painful."
>"I... I had no idea."
"I know. I know. But the thing is, Rose, you know that I will always respect you boundaries, right? I'll never do anything you ask me not to do."
>"Right, I trust you for that."
"Well, I need the same thing from you. This is a give-and-take thing. I need to know that you're willing to respect my boundaries and stop when I say to stop, just as I'd do for you."
>She gets up off the floor and sits down next to you
>"I... you know, being that you're a guy, and you're older and all, I guess I didn't think about the possibility of you having boundaries that I'd need to respect in the first place. I guess I assumed that everything was open to you, and that I'd be the bottleneck who'd decide what happens and what doesn't one hundred percent of the time. Guess I really am just a naive kid, huh?"
"Not really. To be honest, a majority and grown adults act that way too, assuming that someone else wouldn't have any limits or boundaries of their own. Especially a guy like me."
>...
>"I'm getting tired. Guess I should sleep."
"It is getting pretty late. Where do you want to sleep?"
>"Can I, sleep with you in your bed?"
"Well, I suppose that's okay."
>The two of you climb into bed, and snuggle up together
>Rose is being the little spoon, and you're being the big serving spoon that you use to get slice of meatloaf
>You wish to spend more time with her tonight, but you pass out within minutes
>As you drift off, you smell a faint smell of strawberries, and know in your heart that everything will be okay

***

>You wake up the next day and look at your alarm clock
>Fifteen minutes until your alarm is set to go off
>No point in letting Rose get woken up by that awful sound
>You gently shake her to wake her up
"C'mon, Rosey, it's morning."
>"Five more minutes."
>You manage to coax her out of bed, and get her to go to your bathroom
>You wait for her to finish before steeping in yourself
"So, you wanna take a shower first, or you want me to?"
>"I'd rather take mine first, if you don't mind."
"Okay then, help yourself. I keep a stock of clean towels so you should have everything you need."
>You start to walk away from her, but she stops you
>"Wait," she says, "stay here for a moment."
"Oooookay," you say, as you look at her quesitonably
>She takes her t-shirt off, revealing her cute pink bra
>It's nothing super-special, but it's got a homely sort of cuteness to it
>Next she slides down her pajama pants revealing a matching set of panties
>"So, what do you think?"
>Her overall figure is pretty slim, but she's got some decently sized thighs, and just a but of pudge on her belly
>Probably from all of those popular sugary drinks all the teens are gulping down
"Hot damn, you are one very attractive lady, Rose."
>Nailed it like a mother fucking Ron Swanson woodworking project
>"Really? You don't think that my thighs and belly are too big?"
"Are you kidding? You've got just the right amount of everything. It's not like I wanna date a spooky scary skeleton, right?"
>She giggles a bit, giving a cute snort along the way
>"Yeah, I guess that would send shivers down your spine, right?"
"Heh, right. The thing is, Rose, you are perfect to me. It doesn't matter what you look like physically, which I would describe as 'fucking beautiful', by the way. It's who you are that's made me like you. You saw the chance to make me see myself in a better light, and get serious about something for once."
>"Th-thanks, sweetie. Now, shall I continue.?"
"If you'd like."
>She undoes the hooks on her bra and lets it fall to the floor
>"A bit small for a girl with my kind of figure, right?"
>...
"Oh, sorry, I was lost in that beautiful bust of yours. What were you saying?"
>"Haha, smooth, Anon."
>She shifts around a bit before looking you in the eyes
>"Well, this is as far as I've ever gone in showing you my body. Should I go all the way?"
"Only if you want to."
>She hooks her thumbs on the side of her panties
"Wait."
>"What, you want me to stop?"
"No, it's just that..."
>...
>"Just that what?"
"It's- there's something you could do for me that'd make this way better."
>"And what's that?"
"while you've got your hands hooked on your panties like that, tell me that you're CIA."
>"Ummm, okay. I'm CIA."
>You start giggling like a madman
>Baneposting is one of the few memes about which Rose doesn't know a whole lot
>She pretty much knows "big guy for you", and that's it
>You'll have to indoctrinate her as a Brother- er, Sister, soon
>"Umm, so you got some kind of secret agent fetish, or what?"
"N-no, it's just, I'll tell you about it later."
>She sighs and takes her hands out of her panties
>"You know what, I'm not really in the mood any more."
"I, uh, WHAT? Aww, dammit dammit son of a bitch dammit."
>She flashed you a smile quickly before grabbing her panties and yanking them down
>And here it is, her nude body in all its glory
>A whooooole lot of glory
>"So? What do you think?"
>...
"Puffy vulva! Puffy vulva!"
>She glares at you menacingly as she covers her crotchtal region with her hand
>"Really, dude? I thought you were better than that."
"I-I'm sorry, I couldn't resist. I just- you have no idea how funny that is to anyone who knows about it.'
>"Well it's not funny to me at all. Try to consider my feelings over your sense of humor just once in a while, okay?"
>She slams the door to your bathroom and locks it
>...
"I'm sorry, sweetie!"

***

>With the two of you showered, you get ready to head off to the school
>"So, are we gonna go public today?"
"Well I suppose putting it off until later wouldn't make much of a difference in the long run. The hard part is convincing everyone that I'm not gonna favor you in my class."
>"Yeah, if I wasn't specifically your student, I imagine things would go a lot more smoothly."
"Hey, we haven't seen how they'll go yet. Give it time."
>Rose looks forward, then down at the clock on your car radio
>"Hey, how come we're like, half an hour early?"
"I have to get there earlier than the students."
>"Oh, okay then."
>She looks up at the school, looking more bored than anything
"Hope you're ready for an exciting day."

>The two of you arrive at the school holding hands
>As you walk up to the door, several students are staring and whispering
>Honestly you'd be weirded out if they didn't
>Two girls, one with mint skin and light mint hair, and another with cream skin and blue and pink hair, run up to you two
>The mint one looks and Rose, and at you, and back at Rose and asks
>"Rose? What's going on? Why are you holding teach's hand?"
>Rose beams at her, and in her most casual, friendly voice ever, she responds
>"Congratulations, you get to be the first to know: I'm dating him!"
>She smiles at her friends silently for a minute
>Minty and White Room by Cream both stare at her
>...
>"Lyra, Bon Bon, please..."
>...
>"Could you at least not roll around on the ground? You're gonna get dirty."
>Eventually Mint Biped manages to stand up and speak again
>"You always were a kidder, Rose."
>You've wanted to keep quiet, but this time you just can't
"Don't you mean 'Steve'?"
>The three girls look at you, and then they all get it at once
>Their laughter fills the air
>It's not quite as heavy as when Rose first revealed your relationship, but it's there
>Of course the two friends both thought that said revelation was merely a joke
>Seems that these two share Rose's (and your) arcane knowledge of internet culture and in-jokes
>Time to break it to them
"But anyway, she's telling the truth. She and I are a couple. We're going to be dating from now on."
>Caught off guard, they give you the classic 'wha-huh?' looks
>Rose wraps her arms around your shoulders
>Then she jumps up and wraps her legs around you to hold herself up
>Just in time you wrap your arm under her to support her
>She leans toward you and gives you a peck on the cheek
>"Whoa," says Light Green Upright-standing Creature Displaying High-Level Intelligence Including But Not Limited To Speech,
>"Bon Bon, I think they're for real."
>That rules out who's named what
>"Well I still think this is just a joke of theirs. A very inappropriate joke if you ask me."
>You turn your head to face Rose, and kiss her
>Right on the mouth
>Not very deep or sloppy
>Just passionate enough to make it undeniable
>You turn to the two shocked people and say
"Is no joke, comrades. Love too stronk."
>After a moment of smiling at them, while they look at you dumbfoundedly, you turn to the side toward the door
>Then you walk away, still carrying your girlfriend like a sack of flour
>Not just those two, but all the students around are stunned
>Paralyzed
>Immobilized
>No motion anywhere
>You walk into the school with Rose on your side
>This is gonna be an interesting day
 
>As you walk through the hallways (Rose has dismounted you by now), Celestia is leaning out of her office, beckoning you inside
>You and Rose walk in, and she slams the door behind you, before walking back to her desk
>Usually whenever Celestia is angry or disappointed, she remains calm and collected, using her words to express her frustration
>Not this time
>"AND JUST WHAT THE HELL DO YOU TWO THINK YOU'RE DOING?!"
>She stares at you for a minute, her fuming rivaling that of a Hummer in low gear
>Rose is cowering behind you, and even though you don't show it, you're pretty scared too
>Nonetheless, your inner Anonymous shines through
>"WELL?!" she asks impatiently
"Huh? OH! Sorry, I thought that was rhetorical. You see, we were walking up to the school holding hands, standard couple stuff-"
>"I'm gonna stop you right there-"
"Are you real happy for me? Are you gonna let me finish?"
>"YOU'RE NOT HELPING, ANON!"
"Right. Right. So, anyway, we kissed before we headed inside."
>She takes a deep breath and begins to collect herself
>"Anonymous. You have really crossed a line here. I know that you've gone to length to keep it legal, but you realize this is going to cause a lot of trouble, right?"
"Look, I understand. I understand this is going to cause a lot of drama, and a lot of work, especially for you. But we can't stand to keep it a secret."
>Rose starts to come out from behind you, gaining confidence
>Celestia looks at you like she's plotting your murder, but she simply says
>"Go on."
"The idea of seeing each other each and every day, but not being able to show our love. Having to hide away such a huge part of our lives, the thought is unbearable."
>"You know, for only having been together a few days, you sure do seem confident that you truly love her."
>Rose and Celestia both look at you intently, and yet in different ways
>Rose is simply waiting for your response, wondering what you'll say
>Celestia is waiting for your excuse, wondering how you'll word your way out of this one
"You know, there's something I haven't told either of you, and the reason is that I've been trying to deny it to myself ever since I began to suspect it."
>Rose and Tia do what they've done on at least one occasion before
>They ask you the same question, at the same time
>"What's that?"
"I... I suspected that I had feelings for Rose long ago, when i first started tutoring her. I didn't want to believe it myself. I wanted to believe that I had no interest in her. I wanted to believe that Sunday was the first time I truly took an interest in her. While it's true that I may have lied to both of you, it's only because I was lying to myself."
>Both of them are silent for a while
>"I too, felt like I liked you for a long time, but I knew you wouldn't give me a chance until I was older. But... but why did you have to hide it from me?"
>You give a heavy sigh, knowing that things are about to get complicated and shitty
"See, here's the thing: when you first came here as a freshman, you were only 13, about to turn 14. I was just starting out as a tutor for hire. I wasn't even a substitute teacher yet. What really made me like you was how much you cared about not only doing well yourself, but helping the others do their best too."
>"Well I-"
>She stops and the two of you look over at Celestia to see what that crunching noise is
>She's eating popcorn from a snack bag
>"Go on," she says
>"O...okay, I was gonna say, Anon, that that's the reason that I fell in... like, with you."
>It seems she's still not ready to say the big "L" word yet
>You humor her by using the same idiom
"So you fell in like with me because I try to help others? A lot of people who are way better than me do the same thing."
>"And I fell in love with you because you were willing to go to all that trouble just to give me a shot."
>Whoa
>Looks like she IS ready for the big "L" word
>It's at this point that you almost start to realize just how RIDICULOUSLY fast everything's been moving
>What's the best way to take your mind off of it?
>OF COURSE!
>Humor!
>You smile at Rose with your "You're about to get fuckin' roasted, kid" look
"Going to all that trouble? Hey, you were the one that got pepper sprayed just to get a job here because I told you you had to."
>Celestia starts choking on her popcorn, desperately trying to pour herself some water
>After a minute of haphazardly fumbling with the cups, she internally says 'fuck it' and starts drinking from the jug
>As she sits there hacking, you can't help but mildly chuckle at her
"I take it you haven't heard that story. Remind me some other time to tell you."
>"Will do. In the mean time, you two need to get going."
"Right. Off to class."
>And off to class you go
>But before you guys make it far, Rose stops you
>"Wait, before I forget, can we all meet at Anon's tonight?"
>You look over at Celestia
>She shrugs and says
>"I don't see why not, if Anon is okay with it. But I must ask, what for?"
>Rose grins cheekily at you two and says
>"So you two can finish what you started yesterday."
>At this she runs off down the hall before you can respond
>You look over at Celestia, who's just a bit taken aback
>You grin from cheek to cheek before walking out the door
>As you walk, you bounce and rotate your pointing hands in circles
>Right before ducking out of sight, you stop with both hands pointed at her and wink
 
>You are Celestia
>You are so fucking done