>Legend states that somewhere in Equestria, a miracle will happen >A child will be borne by a once fallen god, but shall not appear as his mother does >Green as the needles of the pines shall be his skin > His body, that of the long passed conquerors of the world >And he shall be known as "The Nameless Man" >It is said that this mystic child shall save all Equestria from a fiery doom "This is the legend of--!" >"ANON!" >The shout makes you flinch and lose balance from the chair you'd been standing on, and you fall backwards, landing on your ass in a pile of clothes "Damn it, Luna, I told you to knock when the door is closed!" >Luna's ear flicks when you say her name, a scowl growing on her already stern face >"Anon, we have been calling you for the past five minutes, sister and I are entertaining a guest tonight and you must attend." "Awwww, why do I gotta go, Luna?" >She huffs and her ears flick back again, clearly annoyed with your way of addressing her >"Anon, you know we don't like it when you call us by our first name, we're your mother before we're a princess, you know!" > Your mother, your mother >Luna is your mother >To this day, you still don't believe her >You look nothing like her, no tail, no hooves >Hell you're nearly eighteen and still no cutie mark! > You're a damned freak of nature >You're not a pony, you don't belong in this world; yet here you are >The rest of the princesses treat you like some exotic animal >Hell, even regular ponies treat you just the same >But, you suppose, you are to them >"Let us go to the dining hall, come on." >Luna walks over to the bedroom door and gestures for you to follow her "Sure, 'mom', let's go see these super important guests." >You couldn't see it, but Luna slumps a little bit from your tone, saddened that even after all these years you wouldn't call her 'mother' >You follow Luna out the door and down the halls, heading to the dining room >As you walk to the hall, numerous guards greet you in a way befitting royalty >But you're so used to it, that it doesn't even register in your brain > You're lost deep in brooding thoughts, staring blankly ahead >Before long, Luna breaks the cringeworthy silence >"Anon?" "What is it, Luna?" >"We know how you're feeling." >You mentally roll your eyes at her >"The pain, that is. We know it well." >Oh, wonderful, the tired old cliche of 'I know how you feel' >It's always the same crap. They keep you in the castle, Celestia summons you to the throne room or wherever for boring ruler stuff, Luna comes to get you, telling you how she knows how it feels to be an outcast from everypony else >You'd heard it all before, and it wouldn't change that you're a freak >The adults at least pretend to not notice it, but their children aren't so kind >Maybe that was the reason you'd managed to get expelled from the Royal Equestrian Academy >That and the firecracker on that one teachers seat >But how were you to know that it would be a substitute that day who just happened to have majored in Criminal Forensics! >But it didn't matter anyway, Luna had just hired a tutor for you and boring lessons continued >You flinch as a horn blares a fanfare almost right in your ear, and a booming voice announces yours and Luna's arrival to the dining hall >But as you follow Luna to your place beside her seat, a familiar voice shout across the table at you >"Hey, Greenie Weenie, you ain't going to greet me?" >You turn to the source and a grin breaks through your moody scowl >Maybe tonight wouldn't be so bad - >You turn back, a riposte already forming on your lips "Looks like you already took care of that, you mangy f--" >The appearance of the old friend who spoke up stops your witty retort dead on your lips >There before you was your best, maybe only, gryphon friend wearing a dress and elegant looking makeup >The cutting off of the scathing remark, plus the subsequent stammering, was making her giggle, a sound rarely heard by the living >"Jeez dweeb, you think that you'd be able to talk to a girl at this point." >You shake your head roughly and take control back of your mouth "I'm not so good with the talking thing, usually because she wouldn't be able to hear it over her moans anyway, Gilda." >Your friend guffaws, shaking in her seat while you look around the table and notice the shocked, bordering on disgusted, looks on the faces of Celestia's guests >It's a party from the High Nesting of Poskala, councilors, lairds, gothiis, all incredibly important people >You even recognize Gilda's father, Jurl Hoscur, seated just further down from his daughter >Though by the look on his face, he was barely concealing his own mirth at your comment >Luna turns slowly and gives you a stare that demands your immediate apology, or possibly a blood offering to the dark gods to save your soul >You clear your throat, straighten up like a good child of a co-ruler, and bow to the room "Please excuse my raucous behaviour. I hope I have not disturbed your visit too terribly, my good lords and ladies." >A low murmur goes through the room, but Gilda's father stands and walks over to you, clapping you on the back with one of his claws >"Come now, my friends. Excuse the lads jest, we've all been young at some point. Gods, we all know that Laird Yngvie and Lady Dewlyn's wedding had bawdier jokes than the one this young man just said!" >He beckons for you to straighten, and when you do gestures to the whole room >"I believe I speak for us all when I say you're forgiven, lad. Just wait for my daughters wedding to make any more jokes like that, eh?" >You gulp and nod to him, and with one more pat on your back he sits down again, next to his still chortling daughter >Luna jerks her head for you to move, and you follow behind her once more, taking your place just down from the head of the table, which Luna and Celestia share >It's well away from Gilda, something about the seating order being according to rank, and due to her father only being a fairly minor noble >Still, the two of you manage to speak, after a fashion, reading each others lips >And despite your experience with it, having to do so quite often in crowds whenever you're outside the castle, it's still a hassle simply because of Gilda's beak >But finally, mercifully, after a few hours of attempting conversation with Gilda, between the both of you being distracted by other diplomats taking your attention, the dinner is finally called to an end >Exiting the room, and navigating through the press of bodies, you manage to both lose Luna, who'd been tailing you the whole time, and find Gilda >Having gained the ability to speak to her once again, the shock of her appearance dying away, you're the first to pipe up "So what the hell is with that dress and makeup, dude?" >She grimaces and looks down at the frilly, purple and green dress >"My mums idea. 'If you're going to Princess Celestia's feast, then you had best look the part of a Jurl's daughter!' What a hardass." >You shrug your shoulders, thrusting your hands into the pockets of your loose fitting trousers "Yeah but, I mean, it doesn't look *that* bad on you, y'know?" >She punches your shoulder with a curled up claw >"Awww, looks like Nonny's got his first crush, isn't that cuuuute." >You roll your eyes and punch her back, with considerably less force of course, you knew her bones were lighter "Yeah whatever, I've not got a crush, and sure as the tides not on you. But what I have got is a fifth of vodka stashed up in my room, imported all the way from the Ilfier Peaks." >Her jaw drops for a moment, but she quickly regains her composure >"You'd better not be pulling my stabs, how in the world would you get that good of liquor?" >You wiggle your fingers in front of her face "I'm the son of the Princess of the Night, my powers are as numerous as they are strange. Now do you wanna ask me how I got hold of it, or do you want to help me polish it off? My day's been complete ass outside of seeing you." >Gilda makes a show of considering the suggestion then, with an exaggerated sigh, nods her head >"I suppose such noble blood as myself could make time for a petty vagabond then. Lead on, my underling!" >Your eyes roll like billiard balls, you swear if you keep this up you'll be playing roulette with them, and you lead her through the halls to the living quarters in the Western wing >The hinges of the heavy ashen door to your room groan as you push it open, making you look around like a thief caught in a spotlight >You hurry Gilda inside and shut the door behind you, sighing with relief >Only one guard had seen you come up here, and it was a new fellow anyway, he'd just saluted you and not even questioned the gryphon beside you >No matter, time to drink! >Reaching under your bed, you pull out an incredibly decorative redwood box, pyrographed with all sorts of runes and patterns, supposedly to imbue the spirit with magical properties and preserve the taste >It did look super cool, and you'd been able to pass it off as an exotic gift to Luna >Yeah, Ms. 'No Fun' wouldn't know the difference between a low brow brown ale, and a fancy wine >She never drank, and never let you either >Gilda pokes your side, making you flinch and nearly drop the case >"Hey numbnuts, you going to crack that thing open or what?" >Actually, you begin to reconsider the locale, looking out the window at the massive harvest moon "You know what, I've got a better idea of where to have a drink this special. You remember climbing up to the spire when we were kids?" >Gilda scoffs at you >"I remember kicking your butt at it." >You smile and push her over, running out onto the balcony and stuffing the box under your shirt "Race you up there readysetgo!" >You hear her curse at you as you begin clambering up the vines of python ivy that snaked their way up the tower >The strands were as thick as your forearm, and deeply rooted into the granite of the castle walls, not even the groundskeepers could get rid of them, short of burning the entire thing and potentially compromising the integrity of the castle, nevermind starting a massive blaze >So the magic that stunted the vines growth just happened to make them sturdy as an ox at the same time, perfect to climb >Just as you pull yourself over the short railing that circled the roof of the tower, a brown and white blur streaks past you >You see Gilda sitting in front of you, her chest heaving with the effort of the winged sprint >You grunt and heave the rest of your body over the lip, flopping down beside her and breathing heavily "Y'know, I think flying might count as cheating in this case." >She weakly cuffs your ear, rolling onto her back beside you >"You cheated first you dick, shoving me over like that. Now gimme that bottle, as the guest I demand the first drink. That and I don't think those thin sausages you call fingers could open this anyway." >You muse about that as you take the ornate box, miraculously undisturbed in spite of the hectic climb, and pass it to her >She opens the box and removes the bottle from the cushioning inside, and cracks the lid off with a talon >With that, she takes a small sip from it, smacking her beak together the same way a chef would after tasting a dish, then passes it to you >"That's some fine vodka, you've got good taste for a green-skinned weirdo." >You take a swig an swallow, coughing as the liquid burns a path down to your belly >Gilda sniggers and takes the bottle back, throwing back another sip >Both of you sit in perfect silence, enjoying the sight of the night sky under the watchful gaze of the moon >You two sit in silence for what seems like an eternity >But since you're both teens, it doesn't last overly long "So where have you been, Gilda? I ain't seen you around since, gods would it have been a year already?" >Gilda chuckles dryly and takes another swig from the bottle in her talons >"Yeah, about a year now. Woulda been just after getting kicked out of Ponyville by that pink bitch and my other, so-called 'friend'." >This was new, she'd visited and had seemed pretty off, a little bit hollow, but she'd not said anything and you sure as hell hadn't asked >But there wasn't anything else to talk about, really "What'd you do to get booted out?" >She shrugs and passes the booze to you, something you accept graciously >"I barely remember it at this point, honestly. Some dumb kiddy pranks that I blew up over and called out the bitch doing it. Dash tried to defend her, but I know that it was the pink one. No way my bes-- EX-best friend would do that to me. But whatever, she chose her side. Gimme that bottle." >She swipes the bottle from your hand and takes a long draught while you think about just who she'd implicated "You don't mean THE Rainbow Dash, right? Element of harmony, hangs out with a neurotic purple unicorn, the only one to ever break the speed record for a pegasus?" >She gestures with the bottle and taps your head with a claw >"Bingo, dummy." >Holy shit, Gilda not only knew Rainbow Dash, but she'd been best friends with her? >Damn, she was more important than you'd ever credited her for, way more than she acted >She passes the bottle back to you, nearly empty at this point "Dammit Gilda, I wanted to drink too." >She hiccups and chortles before clumsily grabbing at the bottle again >"C'mon man, lemme finish it off. Yer such a ligh'weight anyway." >Well you sure weren't and alcoholic, but you were far from a light drinker >You take another swig, half of what's left in the bottle burns through your chest and leaves you coughing >And while you're disabled, she leans in and swipes the thing away from you and drains the last of it "Hey you dick, I paid a lot of money for that! Or, the taxpayers did at least." >She giggles and stands up, wobbly, on the rooftop >Thank the gods you're only a little tipsy >She starts to fall sideways, towards the edge of the spire >You reach out and grab her scruff with a hand, bracing as best you can on the slippery shingles >And sure as hell, she tips and falls, fortunately kept from going over the edge by your panicked grip >Of course, nothing is ever that simple for you >Her body curls inward as her weight is suspended by her scruff, and she begin mewling >She pants heavily and partially turns her head so one eye is looking at you >"D-didn't know ya felt like that, Nonny." >You roll your eyes and stuff the box under your shirt again, slowly sliding down the roof to get ready for the climb back down >Aaand Gilda wasn't going to be able to climb in her state, let alone fly >Only one thing to do then... "Gilda, get on my back. We're going down." >You let go of her scruff and she makes a squeeing noise as she makes a clumsy hop onto your back and digs her claws into your shoulders >Ow, fuck ow, fucking god dammit >You slide over the short railing and grab onto the ivy, slowly making your way down >The extra forty kilos of catbird certainly wasn't making it easy >Neither was the way she kept nibbling on your ears and nuzzling your neck >Climbing down with bleeding shoulders and extra weight was bad, doing it with a boner was near impossible >But somehow, with your arms noodling and legs sleeping, you make it down onto the balcony and limp into your room >You lift Gilda over your head and set her down on the floor >She weakly tries to climb up your legs, but only ends up getting dragged along as you pull yourself to bed >You shake her loose and flop over onto your back, tired, aching, and a bit tipsy >Gilda peeks over edge of the mattress and sits there, staring and making some weird noise at the back of her throat >Wait a sec, that's purring, she's purring at you "Gilda, th' hell are you doing?" >She ducks her head down from the edge of the bed and you hear her giggling >"I'm trying ta sleep, Nonny, would ya keep it down?" >You roll your eyes and reach over, grabbing her scruff and dragging her up to the mattress with you >She eeps and tightens up again as you pull her onto the bedspread, relaxing when you let her go >You lay back down and close your eyes, beginning to drift of right away >A warm weight settles across your chest and a gentle, rhythmic vibration begins >Hell, you think as a blanket of sleep covers your mind, maybe your life really wasn't so bad - >You awake with a great pounding in your head >No, wait, that's the door >You rise up, only half awake, and blearily rub your eyes and take in your surroundings >You were back in your room, of course, and below the pounding at the door you could hear a constant rumbling noise >Looking down you see the source of the rumbling, and your heart stops >There was Gilda, curled up contentedly and sleeping, her dress mussed and hanging only half on her body >Her makeup had partially come off, leaving her face looking strangely uneven >And there was that damned pounding, but soon a shout echoes through the door >"Anonymous, this is your mother! You have five seconds to open the door before I blast it down!" >Oh hell >You jump out of the bed and briefly hear Gilda waking up behind you >No time for that though, you think as you pull the door open >And rushing to put herself right in your face is a terrifyingly angry looking Princess Luna "H-hey...mum. Uhh, what's goin' on?" >She looks shocked for a moment, probably because you'd called her 'mum' but quickly recovers >"Young man, where did you disappear to last night? I was worried sick about you and I--" >She looks over your shoulder, her jaw dropping, and you follow her gaze >There's Gilda, crawling out of bed with her dress half off, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes >Luna's gaze turns on you, and you can hear the venom dripping off her next words >"Gilda, your father is in the foyer. I recommend you go and see him, he's rather worried about you." >Gilda swallows nervously and slinks to the door >"See you, Anon. Good luck." >With that, she disappears down the hall, and Luna slams the door with her magic >"Anonymous, you're not to leave your room for a month, except for meals. I'll have a guard escort you to the kitchen for breakfast, lunch, and supper. You will eat in your room. Am I clear?" >The chill in her voice matches the rigid posture of her body, her gaze turned to the picture window overlooking the courtyard "But Luna, that isn't fa--!" >She cuts you off and whirls on you, her previous anger replaced by inescapable wrath >"I don't give a damn if you don't think it's fair, Anonymous. You brought a young diplomat to your room, drank liquor that I don't even know HOW you got, and then slept with her. Do you honestly think you're in a position to decide what's FAIR?" >Well, when she put it like that... >No, the hell it was fair "That's straight up bull, Luna! So what if we drank? Gilda's an old friend and I wouldn't do anything with her!" >Luna's wings spread and her voice booms out, almost seeming to deepen the shadows in the room as she does so >"Anonymous, I am your mother! You are going to listen to me dammit. You're under house arrest now, and that is final. There is no excuse for your behaviour and now you'll pay for it." >No, fuck this, fuck her, she's wrong "Luna shut the fuck up! You're not my mother, you're a gods damned pony and I'm...whatever I am. There's no way in Tartarus you could be my mother so just stop fucking acting like it! The only reason you keep me around, hells the only reason anypony tolerates me is because I'm an exotic pet! You don't really give a damn about me as you child, you just want an obedient ornament you can parade around. Another trinket for your menagerie. So just drop the act and be honest for once!" >Luna seems taken aback by your tirade, her wings droop down to her sides and her eyes have completely lost any sort of fury once there >"Y-you don't really mean that, do you Anonymous?" >Of course you do, you're furious "Yeah actually I do. Now get the hell out of my room, Luna." >She doesn't seem to be saddened or angered by your outburst, she just seems...broken >Her wings hang down to the floor and her eyes close >Somehow, she retains the composure in her voice as she leaves your room >"Very well, goodbye, son." >With that, she shuts the door behind her, leaving you to figure out just what you're going to do when you aren't allowed to do anything