>Holding one of your apples in her magenta magic, you can see a big bite taken out of the side. >Rude. Also huh, unicorn. "You mind telling me-" >"What are you?" >Wow, okay this pony has like, no manners. "I'm a human, now you mind telling m- >"Ooh yeah! I heard about you dude!" She says spitting apple crumbs everywhere. "Uh yeah, I would assume so. The princess's speech at-" >Cutting you off with another obnoxiously loud bite of your apple, she proceeds to completely ignore you. >Sighing, you decide to talk about something else. Like why she was wearing a hoodie of all things in the summer. "Aren't you hot?" >Taking yet another bite of your apple she is obviously barely paying attention. >"Nah, I've been in the shade most of today, just chillaxin ya know?" "Why wear a hoodie though? Seems kinda weird to me." >"Uh duh? so nopony recognizes me?" >Is this pony a fugitive or something? "Recognizes you? What does-" >Taking the last loud bite from the apple she tosses the core behind her with her magic. >Alright, guess someone else is gonna have to pick that up. >Directing your attention back to the rude litterbug, you see that she has again lost all interest in the conversation. >Looking you up and down while chewing, she continues to talk with her mouth full. >"So what? You some sorta skinny, bald Minotaur with weird legs? What are you even wearing? Looks kinda.." >You tune her out as she babbles on about your appearance to look down and see that shes gone for a carrot now and has also helped herself to some of your apple juice. >Okay that's it. >You get your legs under you and stand up to your full height to frown down at this disrespectful little pony. >Stopping her banter and looking up at you, her mouth is stuck open with the carrot hanging limply from the corner. >This would have been a little funny, were you not sick of her already. >You hadn't been insulted like this since you were back on earth! Granted, this seemed a little bit more on the ignorant side rather than the malicious but still, rude is rude. "Now I don't know where you get off on eating my food and-" >Seemingly forgetting her shock, she goes back to crunching on the carrot in her mouth and again, interrupts you. >"WHOA! You're like, crazy tall! How come you look so-" >Having enough, you quickly bend down and grab the white horse under her front legs around her barrel and hoist her up to your face. >Whooaa, she's pretty heavy for a unicorn. Well I guess that explains how she was able to demolish your food so fast. >Starting to wiggle a bit she adopts a panicked expression on what little of her face you can see that isn't covered up by her glasses. >"H-HEY PUT ME DOWN! Don't you know who I am?!" she yells, spitting carrot pieces over your face and continuing to struggle in your grip. >Some nearby ponies turn toward the noise and give worried glances to you and your captive. >Her little outburst appears to have attracted some unwanted attention. Great. >Shaking her a bit to get her to focus up and quiet down you fix her with an annoyed glare. "What is wrong with you? You've done nothing but eat my food and be rude to me for the the entire time we've been talking!" "Tell me why I shouldn't just punt you across the park?" >This seems to finally shut her up as she looks at you fearfully before swallowing more carrot bits and responding. >"U-uh 'cause I'm famous?" >Your stare now looks completely though her as you can't believe what you just heard. "You're famous." >"Uh yeah dude I'm Pon-3. ya know, like, the one and only?" she says, tapping her rose tinted glasses with a hoof. >The fuck does that mean? >Thinking she's won, she adopts a cocky smirk that only turns your simmering anger to a low boil. "Never heard of you." you coolly shoot back. >Noticeably stunned, she flinches back before almost screeching in your face. >"WHAAAT?! You've never heard of DJ Pon-3?!" >Huh, her breath smells strange, like carrot mixed with something else you can't place. "Is that supposed to mean something to me?" >Flabbergasted, the white pony in your arms goes limp with disbelief. >"What, do you live under a rock or something?! Most Ponies would KILL to talk to me!" >You might kill after talking to this pony too. >"Well seeing as you're not tall and skinny like the models here or rich by the way you wear that hoodie, I can say with confidence you aren't that famous" >Scrunching her nose up in frustration she looks at you like you just pissed in her cornflakes. Now it was her turn to get angry. Good. >"So what if I'm not skinny?! You got a problem with that? Huh, do ya?! >Now violently struggling against you and smacking your arms with her little marshmallow hooves she seems to remember that she has magic and is now using it to try to pry your hands apart. >Hmm, that must be a sore spot. >You give the thrashing pony a devilish smile. A little payback might be in order. "I'm just saying that maybe going around eating other people's food probably isn't helping your figure any." >Accentuating this point you bounce her a bit in your arms no doubt jiggling the fat hidden under her hoodie. >Now embarrassed, she now adds the use of her back legs to try to push out of your hands. >"Quit it! T-that's not funny! What even is a people?!" >How adorably easy. >You aren't hurting her or anything, just holding her tight enough that she can't escape without apologizing first. >Unicorns are the weakest of the three races in physical strength, tending to be more on the thin or slightly pudgy side like Rarity or Twilight respectively. >Their limbs are less stocky than earth ponies but usually the same length unlike the pegasi who generally have stubby little ones as they spend most of their days in the air. >This thinner appearance gives the unicorns a more regal look about them then the other two. >They make up for being physically weaker by having more accessible magic. This is manifested as telekinesis or other magic skills usually tied to their cutiemark. >This unicorn however is demonstrating to be a little stronger with her magic than most for some reason and the tingly force on your hands is actually pretty formidable. >After a while of more struggling you can see that she is beginning to tire. The magic around her horn flickering a bit and her hoof attacks slowing down. >Holding on to her for this long around the middle makes you realize something. She doesn't actually appear to be all that fat, she feels like she only has a healthy pudge to her. >A little more than your average pokey horse sure, but no where near enough to warrant weighing almost as much as Pinkie. >Hmm maybe she was actually just big boned or something and you accidentally cut deep into some childhood trauma. >Whoops. >You only meant to lightly bully the pony, not emotionally destroy her! >Damn this world and its emotionally frail inhabitants! You don't need to be a part of another friendship problem! >Getting ready to just bite the bullet and apologize to nip this in the bud before book horse or one of the other girls comes to lecture you, you look down at the pooped pony in your hands. >She's panting a bit, her white fur is a little flushed and looks defeated but seems okay despite that. "So I-" >"Come on, you've never even heard of Vinyl Scratch? Ever!?" >Welp I guess she wasn't too broken up about her weight after all. She's already back to interrupting you. "Nope." >Staring at you from behind her glasses with an unreadable expression she takes a second before answering. >"Ok, now you're just bucking with me, there's no way yo-" >"I swear Vinyl, I leave you by yourself for just a moment and you're already causing trouble!" >You both look over at the interrupting voice belonging to a grey mare with a black mane currently quickly trotting over to you two. >Huh, must be Matilda's cousin or something. >As she gets nearer you can see she has a little bow tie, cute. >"Tavi! It's not my fault! This monkey thing just doesn't know who I am!" >Oh you're so getting dropped. >And with that you let go of the weirdly heavy pony. >Landing with an admittedly cute "oof" she immediately turns to her friend like she didn't just get dropped from 5 feet. >Huh, woulda thought that would have been more painful for a grown mare. >"VINYL! That is so way to talk about somepony you just met! We are not in Canterlot you cannot be acting like this!" >"But Octiyyyy, he's being mean to me! He called me fat too! >The other mare just deadpans at the little nuisance. >"Yes, and I'm positively sure that you did NOTHING to warrant that and were just minding your own business?" >Watching the argument, you notice something strange. >Seeing them side by side the unicorn actually looks to be slightly taller than her average sized earth pony friend. Curious. >Well whatever, time to go home. You've been outside and around ponies long enough for today. >Bending down and collecting the remains of your food, you stand back up and look down at the two still fighting ponies. "For the record, I only told her that trying to imitate a food processor and turning into a blimp isn't a worthwhile ambition." >Not your best burn but it got the message across. >Looking as confused as a pony wearing sunglasses could be, it clicks in Vinyl's head that you just insulted her. >"Buck you!" >There it is. >Pushing aside her obnoxious friend who sits back on the ground behind her, the grey mare looks up at you with a nervous smile. >"I am terribly sorry sir, my friend here hasn't been herself lately. I would be remiss not to offer my sincerest apologies on her behalf." >Ooh a classy mare that doesn't act like a snooty bitch, what a nice surprise. >Putting a hoof to her chest she gives you a little bow. >"Allow me to introduce myself, My name is Octavia Melody, and my-" >Before she can continue though, the unicorn decides to take this moment to embarrass her friend again. >"You tryin to get on that dick, aren't you Tavi." >Heavily blushing now, the Grey mare whips around to face her giggling friend. >VINYL SCRATCH! Why must you insist on being so IMPOSSIBLY infuriating?!" >This "Vinyl" just leans back and laughs her ass off even more at her friend's chagrin. >HA HA! Come on Tavi! I'm just messing with ya! >Loudly stomping the earth with a front hoof immediately silences the laughter, Octavia glares at Vinyl with exhausted anger. >"That is IT! I am leaving here with, or without you!" >And with that, the posh mare about faces and angrily stomps off leaving her stunned opposite behind. >Coming to her senses, Vinyl yells after the retreating pony slowly disappearing out of the park. >"Aww come on Tavi! I didn't mean it!" >Getting no response you can hear the panic creep into her voice. >"W-wait! I'm sorry Octi! Really!" >Giving you a look and growling in frustration she gets up on all four hooves and scampers off after her friend, but not before knocking the bushel of apples out of your hands with her magic. >What a bitch. >All you hear as you clean up the mess is her spouting off apologies to her friend. >Heh serves her righ- >And that's when you see it. >You stare. >And stare. >And stare. >As you watch the unicorn leave, you are lost for words. >The reason she was so heavy. >The reason you didn't feel any fat on her body. >It all made sense now. >Underneath the back of her ratty hoodie and her spiky tail is the most amazing thing you have ever had the privilege to lay your eyes on. >Time seemed to slow down as you gaze upon the best looking ass you had ever seen. >It looked like two scoops of pure vanilla ice cream. >Like two hills of freshly fallen snow, immaculate and untainted, no wrinkles or blemishes to be seen aside for a few blades of grass falling off. >Each jogging step she took sent slight beautiful ripples through her thick thighs and up through each one of her cheeks. >You were rooted to the spot in stunned silence until she was out of eyesight. >A single manly tear escaping your left eye was the only thing noticeable to the outside observer. >Thank god you still had the basket in front of you or there would have been an indecent. >You take a seat back on the ground to stabilize yourself and stare into oblivion as you try to process what you just saw. >Good LORD that girl was THICC. >Actually, thicc might not even be a strong enough word. >She was proportioned in such a way that was almost too ridiculous. >Like you weren't even sure what you saw was real. >That butt would be gigantic even on an earth pony, let alone a unicorn! >She wasn't nearly as big as Celestia or some of the exceedingly large earth mares, but the ratio of butt to body was just insane. >How could she own those amazingly wide hips and thighs? >To win that hard at the genetic lottery just seems unfair. >How couldn't any stallions around here not be tripping over their dicks when they saw her? >How did YOU not notice earlier? How could -you- of all people, who was so obsessed with booty, not notice the greatest one right in front of your eyes? >Then it hits you, the hoodie. You could probably see the entire profile of her butt from head on if she wasn't wearing that baggy hoodie! >Blinking in what feels like forever you come back to reality. >Mouth dry, arms heavy, you shake your head to clear your mind. >You gotta get home and change before the party starts. You can't be fantasizing all day. >After putting the rest of the apples back into the bucket, you start the long trip back to your home. >Walking through the park, out into the sun and passing behind the school, your mind starts to wander and you end up thinking about Vinyl again. >Why would she hide herself under under a hoodie? Wearing it on a hot day like today had to have been awful. >She must have been telling the truth about being famous and not wanting to be recognized then. >Famous or what though? Like you said, the models on magazines and stuff here seemed to almost always be the freakishly tall thin unicorns. >Not sure why ponies thought lanky and thin was the hottest shit around, to you you just felt pity for them, barely any ass to speak of. >Maybe it was due to the princesses being so tall comparatively that height was a sought after trait and that Luna and Cadance were much more trim. >Man, Cadance must have had a bitch of a time popping Flurry out, you got a good look at that ass when she visited Twilight one time and that thing was tiny. >Speaking of Twilight, you're passing behind the giant crystal abomination she calls a house right now. >Ugh, what an ugly and out of place building. >Keen to leave the towering eyesore behind, you hurry along your path home and continue on your train of thought. >Vinyl was kinda tall for a unicorn, but not like Fleur de Lis or Sassy Saddles tall. You would have to be part Saddlearabian to get height like that. >She couldn't be that rich as all the rich and beautiful ponies here flaunted that shit like it was going outta style. >Unless... unless she was like those rich guys from earth that dressed in shitty clothes but were multi billionaires. >You'd never heard of ponies doing that though, but maybe that was for a reason. >Or she was just a criminal like you thought a first. Eh whatever. >Nearing your house you try to gauge what time it is by the sun. You look up at the sky to see that it's late into the afternoonish. >Man you gotta get a watch. You took time for granted back when you had a phone on earth, you always knew exactly what time it was whenever you checked it. >Entering your home and kicking off your shoes, you sigh as the cool house and carpet immediately make you feel better. >Putting the absurd amount of produce away in your fridge and pantry, you decide to just get changed now and wait till you're needed at Pinkie's. >Climbing the stairs to your bedroom, you search your drawers for one of your precious few pieces of clothes from earth. >Changing into your Hawaiian swim trunks you decide against a shirt as you would probably be occupying most of your time in the lake during the party. >You weren't really THAT anti social, swimming just sounded more fun than talking and dancing on shore with ponies. >Besides, Pinkie would probably have a bunch of fun things for ponies to do in the water anyway. >Lumbering back down the stairs you turn into the living room and throw yourself onto your XXL couch. >It was really just more of a regular couch to you, but to a pony it was pretty big. >You were lucky that Davenport at the Quill and Sofa shop had an extra Minotaur sized couch on hand as anything else was too small. >Being that it was made for a Minotaur, it was still pretty close to the ground and had a really high back to it, but other than that It was perfect. >Grabbing the magic remote from the coffee table you turn the TV on to some random show about a bald pony and his pawnshop in Las Pegasus. >Man, all the things the ponies did with the technology you gave them was pretty impressive. >Back when you were still living at the royal castle, you told the princesses about your world and how you were able to survive as a species without magic. >The tales you told seemed to really interest them, especially Twilight when she heard about it. >Knowing your phone wouldn't be too much use to you here, you gave it to her in the hopes she could reverse engineer it. >After examining it thoroughly, she had sent it to a bunch of pony scientists in Manehattan who were able to use it to create new or improve upon pony technology. >That little gadget had propelled ponies forward in some interesting ways. >TVs were now a thing, almost every major town had cable save for the Crystal Empire and other places too far away from Canterlot. >Kinda tricky for Cloudsdale to adopt as well, due to it being a floating city in the clouds and all, but they managed well enough. >Seeing as ponies hadn't yet figured out how to put satellites into orbit, there were no wireless services to speak of. >Remembering when you sent a letter to the think tank in Manehatten about space travel and the onslaught of letters coming back gave you a good laugh. >When Luna got wind of this, she almost talked your ear off your head. She wore an unreadable expression when you told her about the moonlanding though. >Guess a thousand years in isolation will put a little damper on things. >Anyhow, most other pony tech just got significant electronic upgrades, like the cameras being digital now and telegraph system turning into landline phones. >All the "new" tech was pretty expensive, as most of the technology couldn't be scaled down as far as your smartphone was and electrical wires had to be strung up everywhere to power them. >They also all relied on magic for certain functions to work properly as the materials to make them were either too scarce or non existent here in this world. >All of these things made them inaccessibly pricey to most ponies in towns but were more common in the cities due to the rich setting up the power lines for themselves. >You got pretty rich as well when the royalty checks started pouring in the mail. You insisted on a low percentage as you didn't really feel like you earned it but the amount of money was staggering. >You didn't actually check how much you acquired but it let you laze about in the castle indefinitely until Celestia got worried for you. >She asked you a few times about any friends you made here over the coming weeks and what you were going to do other than drink and play pranks on the nobility. >You didn't really have an answer for her so you just made things up. >When she ultimately found out that you were just lying to her, she stepped up her game and came down hard on you. >After a while of arguing with big white for a few days you found yourself kicked out of Canterlot by royal decree and your accounts frozen. >Yeah, maybe you shouldn't have made fun of her glorious tush so much but she apparently had nothing better to do than bother you when she had free time. >Afterward, you had been ordered to go to Ponyville to "discover the magic of friendship". >This pretty much just meant you became Twilight's problem and a classmate of Starlight. >Whoopee. >You were allowed enough of your funds to buy a house in town and custom furnish it, but after that you were limited to a stipend until Twilight deemed you were "graduated". >So you had been stuck here for a few months now with little to show for it. >You had made friends with a few ponies here, mostly the elements and their families but apparently that wasn't quite enough. >They were still working on your sociability and felt you needed to interact more. >You also had to send Twilight AND Celestia friendship reports on how you were progressing. >So going to this party might get them off your back a bit depending on how well you socialized. >Speaking of, it was time to go. >Throwing your legs off the couch and standing up you pop your back a few times with a good stretch before turning the TV off. >If Celestia knew you had one of these, she definitely would have had it removed. "Heh, too smart for ya eyy sunbutt?" >Chuckling a bit you head to the front door and put your shoes on again. >Maybe you should get some flip flops made for you. Might start another fashion trend. >Leaving the house and closing the door behind you, you set off to Sugarcube corner. >It had cooled down to a more manageable temperature but was still pretty hot. It would probably stay like this until the sun was completely gone. >Whistling a bit while walking down the street, you see shops are closing up for the day and fillies and colts with their parents going back to their homes. >Some ponies from the market are also making their way back to their farms with their carts. They pass you by with a few of them trading hellos before turning off the main road. >Your relaxing walk is interrupted however, to the sound of fast beating wings and a Scratchy tomboy voice. >"ANON CATCH!" >You whip around and see a hurtling ball of blue pony coming right for you. >Holding your arms out, you catch the speeding mare and spin around to lessen the impact and use her momentum to catapult her back into the air in one move. >It was a trick you two had worked on for a while now, after one time she slammed into you when she made a miscalculation with a flying maneuver. >Hoof pumping in excitement the rainbow pony flies back down next to you at eye level as you continue your walk to Pinkie's. >"Aww yeah that was SO AWESOME! That one was the best one yet! I gotta have you at practice Anon, Spitfire will totally FLIP when she sees how well you can redirect momentum!" She punctuates her statement with a little air flip of her own. "Thanks Dash, but I don't think there's a whole lot of uses for that." >"Are you kidding?! That's so useful! you can catch crashing ponies, or to give pegasi a really fast start or even make it part of a routine!" "Hmm I suppose you're right. But if I did it as part of a routine in a show I would have to become a Wonderbolt right?" >"PFFT- I-I uh- well- um." She sputters a bit trying to come up with an answer. >You smile slightly at her discomfort and decide to go a bit further. "You know, I'd probably be pretty good as a Wonderbolt huh? I mean you DID just say the move I did was awesome." >Looking aside and tapping her hooves together she is obviously trying to find a way to let you down easy. >"Uhh weeeellll..." "Hmm... Yeah, I think I'd be pretty good. Probably make captain in a year or so after I officially join, and take it from there." >At the mention of being captain, Rainbow snaps out of it. >"WHAT?! THERE'S NO WAY YOU'D-" she stops abruptly when she sees your shit eating grin. >"YOU-" Sticking a hoof out at you accusingly she realizes she has nothing to say. >Widening your grin further you innocently reply. "Me?" >Groaning she accepts defeat. >"Okay you got me, but it'd still be cool if you came to practice!" "Not sure how you'd get me up into Cloudsdale let alone keep me up there." >"Whaddaya mean Anon?" Genuine confusion plastered on her face. "I mean I don't think you're strong enough to carry me." >Realizing too late that you inadvertently challenged the rainbow mare, you just sigh." >"OH YEAH?! I Bet I could carry you all they way to Fillydelphia from here!" >Oh boy you've done it now. "Dash, c'mon I weigh like ten times more than you do." >"So?! I bet I could still do it even if you weighed a HUNDRED times more than me!" >There's just no reasoning with this mare when she gets like this. >Then an idea hits you. "Well, I do need to get to Sugarcube corner, so if you prove you can carry me that far I suppose I'll think about it." >You see her eyes light up at the challenge as she adopts a cocky smirk. >"Don't worry Anon, I'll have you there before you can say; Rainbow Dash is the best!" "We'll see about that. How you wanna do this?" Stopping and crossing your arms to wait for her. >Thinking for a second, Dash seems to get an idea and flies around behind you, then stops. >"Uh Anon? Why aren't you wearing a shirt?" "Cause it's hot? And I'm about to go swimming?" >"Oh sweet! You're going to the party too?!" "Yep. Lets hurry up, I gotta be at Pinkie's to help her move stuff to the lake." >"Okay, you gotta uncross your arms though." >You do so and a moment later you feel fur on your back as you are full body hugged from behind. "Uh Dash? What are you doing?" >"I'm just getting a good grappling point you dummy! Now hold on I'm gonna get us there real quick." >At this, you feel air start to shoot down behind you as she tries to take off. >Yeah, there's no way this little marelet is even gonna get you off the ground. >Her wings beat more and more furiously pulling up on your body that refuses to budge. >"J-Jeez Anon! How much do you weigh?!" she grunts behind you. "Pretty average for a human I'd say." >Beating her wings even harder, she begins to sound like a Jet. Somehow. >Shockingly, her efforts begin to gain traction as you feel yourself start to lift up. >Once your feet leave the ground, rainbow angles you both forward enough to get going. >It wasn't really flying, your feet kept touching the ground, but it was at least faster than jogging. >You two speed down the street getting some weird looks from ponies you pass. >A few of them have to dodge out of the way as you aren't exactly maneuverable but you manage not to crash the entire trip. >You can see Sugarcube corner coming up but can also tell dash is getting really tired. >She is starting to sound breathless and your feet meet the ground more and more often as you approach. >As soon as you get to the front, Rainbow's wings give out and you land, digging your feet into the ground to brake. >When you stop moving, you feel Rainbow's sweaty body peel off your back and land on the ground behind you. >Kinda gross but you'd be in the lake soon enough so you shrug it off. >Turning around, you see Rainbow flat on her back and panting up a storm. >"I... Did... It..." "You sure did Dash, that was pretty impressive." >She just gives a half hearted hoof pump before letting her leg fall back down. >"YAY! Anon you got here just in time!" >Getting tackled from behind by another furry creature, this time you already know who it is. >"EWW Nony! Why are you so sweaty?" "Not my sweat Pinkie, its Dash's. She carried me all the way here." >Jumping down from your back, Pinkie looks down at her exhausted friend." >"Wowie Dashie! you look pretty tired! Are you gonna be okay for the party?" >The blue pegasus just gives a weak nod. >"Okie dokie! Anon put her in the wagon for me 'kay?" >Looking around, you see no wagon of any kind anywhere. "Uh what wagon Pinkie?" >"This one silly!" as she pulls out an entire cart from her hair piled high with tons of food and electronic equipment. >As she gently sets down what must be at least five hundred pounds of party supplies, a pony falls out from the other side of the pile with a groan. >Not even bothering to question it, you pick up the spent pegasus and gently lay her on top of the pile. >"Okay Anon! now all you gotta do is pull the stuff to the lake!" >You just looked at the mare like she was insane, which come to think of it, might actually be the case. "Pinkie, are you crazy? That cart weighs way to much! I'm throwing out my back just looking at the thing!" >Pouting a bit, the ponkster gives you a sad teary eyed look. >"Aww 'cmon Nonny! It's not that heavy, I promise! It belongs to a friend of mine, she got it enchanted! >"Yeah, -NONNY-. Why don't you go pull the cart already like a good colt?" >Oh lord, please tell me that's not who you think it is. >Slowly turning around you are met with the exact mare you did NOT want to see right now. >Wearing nothing but her shades and smirk this time, you now get a clear look at her wide flanks that lead to her pristine and immense posterior. >Oh shit, please be strong Anon. Be angry not horny. >"Hi Vyvy! This is Anon! Nonny, this is Vinyl Scratch or Dj Pon-3 or Vyvy. She has a lot of names." >"She's my super duper party DJ awesome friend from Canterlot!" >Lightly clenching your teeth you almost growl back at Pinkie. "We've met."