Author: BadGrammarFag
Pastebin URL: Tnnaqceh.html
Date: SEP 12TH, 2014

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>You are Anon.
>The great and fabulous[spoiler]faget.[/spoiler]
>You yawn, stretching after 'not-so-good-night' sleep.
>It was 'meh' at best.
>You stand, scratching your ass.
>Because you're full of class like that.
>The rays of the sun pierced through the curtains at the windows.
>~"What a hideous sight."~
>Someone got up on the wrong side of the bed.
>Or.. maybe that's one of her default settings in life.
~"Moonie please, being grumpy from the morning is bad for your health"~ 
>Sarcastic, angry answer in 3..2..1..
>Nothing.
>Strange, did she made you deaf again?
>No, that's not the case.
>You can clearly hear birds chirping outside.
>Regardless, it is time for the three "S" ritual.
>Now that will be fucking strange!
>Not that you did it in some unusual way, just never had someone watching.
>Probably sharing one mind, and so, made that she knows everything about you anyway.
>So you do it like a boss.
>With not a single fuck given.
>Okay maybe one, when you were scrubbing junior anon in the shower.
>You had a small bathroom attached to your room.
>Surprisingly, there was no nasty comments from her.
>Strangeness intensifies.gif
>Well, you didn't read that one book.
>What was its title?
>"Lunatic creature living in your head for dummies."
>Yes, that's the one!
>Maybe Twilight will have it in her collection.
>Time to dress up.
>It sucks that you have only one set of clothes, that fit you in this world.
>Although they were repaired, they are not in the best condition.
>Wonder how Nightmare would react, if you ran around town totally naked.
>Balls and all, at the ponies eye level. 
>Probably she would had no reaction at all.
>Technically ponies were naked all the time.
>Hey, what's in that closet beside the wall?
>You open it quickly.
>Clothes, clothes everywhere!
>There were at least seven sets of clothes there, all copies of your own!
>Damn, Twilight was prepared to accommodate you.
>Feels Goodman.jpg
>Looking like a Steve Jobs in your black t-shirt and blue jeans, you start to wonder what to do next.
"Hmm... what's the next point in my morning agenda today?"
>Did you just say it out loud?
>~"STOP SLACKING OFF! Find this miserable excuse of a princess, and ask when Celestia will show herself here! One at her position does not simply show unannounced!"~
>Fuken Nightmare Aragorn in your mind!
>You kind of missed that shouting.
>Nah.. not really.[spoiler]Or maybe?[/spoiler]
~"Okay, okay! Stop yelling already! My head hurts from that!"~
>She huffed at that.
>~"GOOD! This will force you to take action."~
>Saying nothing to that, you walk outside your room.
>After a little searching, you notice that Twilight is nowhere to be found.
>Why this place has no staff!?
>You wish, you could ask somebody about her whereabouts.
>In the corner of your eye you see Spike, who is dusting off some old furniture.
>~"Ask her thrall, where is she!"~
>Ladies and gentlemen Nightmare Holmes!
>Not sparing her any answer, you wave to him.
"Greetings mighty dragon!"
>He waves back, a little flattered by your pompous greeting.
>"Hi Anon, what's up!"
>You walk up to him, putting your fist up front.
>You will ensure that the sacred ritual of broism will be known everywhere.[spoiler]EVERYWHERE![/spoiler]
>Actually it is known here, as brohoof.
>No matter, when Spike completes the ritual, you ask.
"Do you know where I can find Twilight, I need to ask her something?"
>Little guy thinks for a second.
>"She went outside the castle, to take care of some business. She was pretty nervous about it."
>You scratch your head.
>Is this whole 'business' thing related to you somehow?
>Do you have to investigate that?
"Can you tell where she went?"
>He shrugs his shoulders.
>"Sorry man, when I tried to ask her, she bolted out the front door. She tends to do that sometimes, you know."
>Nightmare Moon replied to that statement.
>~"What a lack of royal posture, and for her thrall to not know, where his master is at the moment? What a laughable act!"~ 
>Before you can say something to her, Spikes cheeks puffed out.
>Moment after, he spits out a scroll covered in strange green flames.
>~"Now I see why she keeps this little nuisance around. A magical dragon can be useful."~ 
>Was she always this talkative?
>Your attention is focused on parchment, which he holds in his claws.
"What is it?"
>He brings the scroll to his eye level.
>"Judging by the royal seal, its the message from Princess Celestia."
>Your curiosity got the better of you.
"What does it say!?"
>Spike shakes his head.
>"Sorry Anon, I can't open it. It's for Twilight's eyes only."
>Dayum_shame_cat.jpg
>"Hey, do you want to eat something Anon? I can fix something quick for you, and then return to my chores. You know, we got still some fresh fish left in the pantry."
>Fuck the scroll, food now!
"Do I? Lead the way to the kitchen, you amazing creature you!"
>It was a feast of gods!
>It's official, you love this little dragon.
>[spoiler]No homo![/spoiler]
>After the food disapired out of your plate, you asked Spike when Twilight will be back.
>He said that he's not sure, and if you wanted to kill some time waiting for her, you should take a stroll around town.
>He added also that form the looks of her in the morning, she won't be around for some time.
>Great, stood up on the first date.
>Bad Twilight, bad!
>Having nothing else to do, you decide to take Spikes offer.
>You kicked the front door out of its hinges, and walked outside like you owned the place!
>Joke.
>You opened the door like a sir, and just walked outside.
>What now?
>You didn't even asked about any directions around here.
>You knew that Nightmare 'visited' this town a long time ago, but her attention was on somethig else than landmarks then.
>You started to walk.
>After some time you found yourself sitting on the bench in the nearby park.
>There was a small breeze blowing.
>The trees were singing the song of their people, with their leaves.
>There was some kids playing a match of hoofball behind you.
>Their laughs and shouts only adding to the atmosphere of this place.
>Not far away, in fornt of you, there was a beutifull lake.
>You never saw such clean water in your life.
>So peacefull.
>You decided to relax a bit and closed your eyes.
>You just hoped that Nightmare won't decide to destroy this bliss.
>However, it wasn't her, who ruined it.
>You heard a noise close to you.
>When you opened them, there was this mint green unicorn mare, sitting with you.
>She had a lyre mark on her ass.
>She was looking at you excited.
>"Hi, I'm Lyra! Who and what are you!"
>Introductions.exe initiated.
"Hi, I'm Anonymous, Anon for short and I'm a human being."
>Her eyes got bigger.
>"Whoa! I never meet a human before, what are you doing here!?"
>You shrugged your shoulders.
"Relaxing, I guess."
>She puts her hoof on your arm.
>That's a little weird, she barely knows you.
>Man up you big baby, you were cutted and bruised by a wild manticore, what is a little hoof touch for you!
>"Hey Anon, are you from around here!"
"Actually, yes. I live in princess Twilight castle for the time being."
>That answer bringed a big smile on her face.
>"That's great! That means I can talk to you some more in the future!"
>She was patting your shoulder now. 
>Somepony didn't liked the attention at all.
>[spoiler]Guess who?[/spoiler]
>~"What is this village idiot doing TOUCHING US! Make her STOP! NOW!"~
~"Easy there! Don't want to make a bad first impression, don't we?"
>You already know her answer to that.
>Carefully taking Lyra hoof in your hand, you put it back on the bench.
"Say what do really want from me little pony? It's not that you suddenly decided your new mission in life is talking to complete strangers?"
>Her smile didn't waver.
>She started to gesticulate with her hooves.
>"No of course not! My mission in life is to make a beautifull music on my lyre. I just saw you yesterday, when you were walking to into the castle. I decided that I must know better this wonderful bipedal creature. And here I am."
>You put your hand on the back of the bench.
"And that's all there is to it."
>There was fire in her eyes.
>"A... Actualy y.. yes. Your hands. Can I take a look at them, they are fascinating."
>Ah, what the hell.
>You held out your hands towards her.
>She quickly grabbed them in her hooves, looking at every finger.
>"Amazing! C... can I ask for something more?"
>You rise a brow on that.
"Yes?"
>She became a little nervous.
>"C... can I ask y... you to s... scratch my ears!?"
>Wut?
>You were talking 'weird' before, right?
>Now, that was bat-shit insane!
>You knew that it was something special for ponies, that they shared only with those close to them.
>Not waiting for your answer she puts one of your hands on her ear.
>She blushes like crazy.
>Suddenly you got a muscle spasm.
>With the speed of Kenyans on meth, you grab her head with your two hands.
>There is the biggest black magic discharge happening between them, that you saw till now.
>Her head fucking explodes into pieces.
>You now know the feeling of somebody's detached eye, bouncing off of your forehead.
>Before her body can hit the ground, you catch her by one of her hooves.
>You start to hit the bench, that the both of you were sitting, with her headless body.
>Multiple times.
>The kids that were playing behind you, were now running and screaming in horror, all around the place.
>After you turned Lyras body into a paste, you throw the remains into the lake.
>Water turns bloody red in an instant.
>You rip the bench out of the ground, and throw it into the lake as well.
>You had another muscle spasm.
>You are sitting on the bench again.
>Lyra, alive, still have one of your hands on her face.
>You stand up, like burned.
"I... I'm sorry! I just remembered that I need to be somewhere, asap!"
>Not waiting for her reply, you turn around and start to run.
>She is shouting somethig in the lines of "I'm sorry, I didn't want to scare you, please come back!" after you.
>But you don't care!
>What you care about is:
~"WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT!"~
>You felt the fury dripping out of her reply.
>~"THAT WAS A WARNING! First and last one she will get through your actions after seeing it!"~
>You clench your teeth.
~"WHY!"~
>~"Because she was touching YOU like some whoarse! BY touching YOU, she was touching ME!"~
~"I wanted to take away my hand, the moment she put it on her head! Also don't tell me you are afraid of some light touch, when you were taking hits from a manticore like it was nothing!"~
>Anger is strong in that one.
~"NO! I... I felt your arousal when she asked YOU! Y... YOU ARE MY CHAMPION! YOU will only do my bidding, because only I know what is best for YOU! And in extend f.. for ME!"~
>Now that was some serious shit!
>She was silent almost all morning, then she was at her standard "holier than thou" routine, and now she tells you in her weird way, that she cares about your well being.
>Bitch be crazy.
>Must be on her mental period or something.
>But on the other hand it is nice to hear that your status changed from slave to achampion.
>Regardless, you must find some place to blow off some steam.
>Or Anon will have to smack a bitch!
>HARD!
>And nobody or pony would want that, do they?
>
>Where could you go to have some fun?
>Maybe to a bar, to wash down your nervousness with some delicious alcohol?
>Any day, you would go there, any fuken day but this one.
>Sadly today you must be as sober as a judge.
>Being wasted beyond recognition in the presence of princess Celestia, looks like a totaly bad idea.
>At least at the moment.
>Passing through the center of the city, you can hear some marketplace buzz nearby.
>Your broke ass couldn't afford anything, but you can at least entertain yourself, by watching various goods.
>You must also find yourself a job someday.
>Maybe there will be somepony wanting to hire you there?
>Look at you, 'somepony' is talking like a native already!
>And what an optimist you are, looking for a job before being accepted by the ruler of this land.
>Rummaging through the various goods, you stumble upon the most good looking apples, your sly eyes ever seen.
>You must have had a good drool over them, because the owner of the booth have her attention on you now.
>"Can I help you with something?"
>Taking yor eyes away from the apples, you look at her.
>Its an orange country mare, with a stetson on her head.
>Generally, you already knew who she was. 
>She was one of Twilights friends, but as with them all, you don't really known her name.
>Actualy you didn't know shit about them.
>Except for the fact, that they were responsible for Nightmare downfall.
>Aaand maybe a few others, but you think it was clearly Nightmare opinion about them.
>For example, they all can't be 'dirty, shaft gobbling tramps', do they?
>Straightening up, you smile.
"Sorry, sorry. I was just looking at these apples here, they look delicious, it must have cost you a lot of work and care."
>No shit sherlock!
>She visibly brightened up at that.
>"Ah, yes, they actualy do. I'm Applejack by the way."
>Wait, what she had just said?!
"Oh man! I'm Anon! I was the one you pulled out, half-dead of this cursed forest. Thank you very much for doing that!"
>She answered with a big grin on her snout.
>"Aw shucks, it was nothing. Basically I was the one who protected you from falling out of my brothers back. If you want to thank somepony, it would be him."
>Oh yeah, there was also this magnificent stallion involved in your rescue!
>You hit your palm with your fist.
"But of course I will! I make sure to drop by and tell him what a glorious guy he is, for dragging my ass out, from under this manticore's stinking corpse!"
>Your faggotry is legendary.
>You should've started running in the direction of their farm, as soon as you heard about her brother, to thank him.
>Instead you just fuck around, like some kind of bum.
>"By the way, I also want to thank you for helping Scootaloo,the way you did. Apple Bloom would be devastated, if something serious happened to one of her best friends."
>Some kind of realisation hit her, right after she said that.
>"Oh, I got something for you Anon!"
>She disappeared for a moment under her stall.
>When she was back, she was holding some kind of a jar with liquid inside.
>"It is our secret recipe, Apple family hard cider. We do it only in small amounts for family and friends."
>When she tried to give it to you, you rised your hand.
"Sorry, but I can't pay you for this. I'm seriously broke for the time being."
>She shakes her head.
>"No, no. You don't understand me. Family and friends don't need to pay for this stuff. Think of it as a part of my thanks. Also, I saw how you were looking at those apples. Help yourself to one if you want to. Its on the house of course."
>Does Anon likes free stuff?
>Of course Anon likes free stuff!
>You take the jar from her, and one of the apples from the stall.
>Its nice to have friends like that.
>Actually she is your third friend here.
>Scootaloo being the first one and Spike second.
>You're not sure about Twilight yet.
>She's super nice to you, but you feel she would have surely took Celestia's side, if you start to argue with her during the visit.
>What about Rainbow Dash and Nightmare Moon?
>Bitch please!
>One is an narcisstic, show-off upstart, the other egocentric, slave driver.
>Not exactly your choice of personality traits, you would look for in friends.
>However, you feel that it won't take long for them, to convince you otherwise about them.
>But back to the matter at hand with you.
"Thanks a bunch Applejack! I really appreciate this."
>She tips her stetson.
>"No problem pardner! Now its time for me, to go back to tending my stall."
"Actually, there is one more thing I would like to ask you."
>"I'm all ears."
"Do you know where I could get a job in here?"
>She waves one of her hooves on her stall.
"Well, look no further. We could always use some help on the Sweet Apple Acres, with the harvest."
>That would be nice.
>You think that with your 'new and improved' body, it would be easy enough.
>As usual, Nighty has a different opinion on this subject.
>~"NO! DON'T YOU DARE TO AGREE TO HER OFFER! WE WON'T DISGRACE OURSELVES BY SIMPLE LABOUR, LIKE SOME PEON! WE HAVE OUR DIGNITY!"~
>Damn, still grumpy like all hell.
~"Please, don't be so loud. Why can't 'WE' work in the field? You talk about dignity here? There won't be much left of it when everyone will look at 'US' as some kind of a beggar and resident mooch. Be reasonable!"~
>Maybe that will give her impulse to think.
>~"YOU WANT REASON?! Fine! You will be working with the one of the elements. I can feel that the "element of honesty" has chosen that one. She will sooner or later see through your half-truths and lies about your power. I believe you have enough intelligence to guess what will occur after that."~
>Holy shit, did she just beat you in your own game?!
>Scratching the back of your head, you put a stupid smile on your face, and look at Apple pOne.
"Thanks Applejack, but I was thinking about something else. Maybe some other time."
>She shrugs her shoulders.
>"Suit yourself Anon. Remember you're always welcomed on the farm."
>After saying your goodbyes, you stroll through the marketplace again.
>The goods you were given, packed neatly in the bag Applejack gave you.
>You look around some stalls, nothing really catching your attention.
>~"I am still waiting Anonymous!"~
>Aaand everybody say 'wut?'.
~"Excuse me, but what are you waiting for?"~
>She laughed lightly hearing confusion in your voice.
>It was quite... cute.
>~"Let me start for you. 'Oh, powerful and wise Nightmare Moon, you were right, as always, about what is best for us! My small brain...'Please, you can continue now."~
>So, thats what its all about.
>Guess you don't have any choice than to humor her.
~"...didn't see it coming. I'm so lucky that you have pointed out, that working on that farm will be a mistake. If not for your great insight in the matter, my life would have been forfeited. Happy?"~
>You could feel her delight rising.
>~"It will suffice. For now"~
>Great, at least she's happy now.
>But you were still jobless, standing at the center of the marketplace.
>~"What is this smell?! Where is it coming from?!"~
>Did you just farted, without knowing about it?!
>That would be the first time, you swear!
>But no.
>No, there was something else in the air.
>You can smell some girly aroma coming from one of the stalls.
>Behind it were standing two mares.
>Except for their colors, they were identical.
>Probably twins.
>Before them stood various little bottles with perfumes in them.
>~"Bring US to that stall, immediately!"~
>You do as she 'asked' you.
>After some basic small talk, you learned that the spa sisters wanted to extend their offer by selling various perfumes of their making.
>It was their first time creating those.
>The only knowledge they have, about art of making perfumes, was from books Twilight borrowed them.
>Guess the trebrary or rather castlebrary is still opened to the public, even after Twilight's elevation to princess.
>Aloe asked you to choose, which of their perfumes smell the best for you.
>You don't know anything about that kind of stuff, but Moonie there, 'asked' you to humor her.
>You sniffed every fucking bottle of perumes she gave you.
>Your nose is broken now.
>You can't smell shit, even if it was on a plate before you!
>~"AMATEURS! Ask them to give you every oil, that they use to create those abominations!"~ 
>Did it kill her if she ever use some manners?
"Girls, can I ask you, to give me the oils you use, to create those perfumes of yours?"
>They looked at each other dumbfounded.
>Finally, Lotus has placed a small wooden box on the counter.
>Inside of it was full of vials with stickers, on which were different illustrations of flowers and other things.
>You also asked for an empty bottle.
>But what were you to do with that all crap!?
>~"You will now mix the oils in the empty bottle. EXACTLY the ones I will told you to, in the EXACT proportions I decide."~
>That will be interesting.
>Following the instructions from Nightmare, you created a small amount of perfume 'ANON NO.5'
>When the spa ponies sniffed them, they were speechless.
>After a moment, they were complimenting 'your' creation into the high heavens.
>Lotus said, that even the greatest Canterlot perfumes she sampled, have nothing on it.
>They were almost begging you, to show them exactly how to create perfumes like that.
>You would gladly do that, you really would do it.
>Nightmare on the other hand, had other plans.
>She stated that 'if you're good at something, never do it for free' and that 'knowledge is a costly affair'.
>You had no other choice but to charge them a small fortune for 'your' future lessons.
>You were dumbstruck when they agree to your terms, happy like never before.
>Coming back from the marketplace to Twilight's castle, you were whistling a catchy tune from the movie 'Kill Bill'.
>Why you remembered that, you don't know.
~"Hey, thanks for findig 'US' a job, quite well paid at that."~
>You can feel her bursting with pride.
>~"I don't need your adoration, human. Nevertheless, you are quite welcome. Maybe now you will start to ask yourself, how could you ever doubt me.'~
>You put on that stupid smile of yours again.
~"Yeah, maybe"~
>You walk throught the 'castle' doors.
>You can hear some heated conversation coming from the main lounge.
>In there you find Twilight nervously speaking to spike.
>"...but I don't know if I should tell them about it or not!"
>Spike was patting her on the back.
>"Easy there Twilight, I think that nothing is certain, so you can relax for now and see what will come out of this."
>She visibly relaxed.
>"I think you're right Spike, its to early to be disturbed by this."
>Spike was smiling.
>"See, I promise you that I won't tell any..."
>He saw you walking on their conversation.
>His eyes widened.
>...pony."
>"Hi, is there something wrong?"
>Twilight jerked her head, like burned.
>"N.. NO! Nothing's wrong! Ev.. everything's just fine!"
>You call that Bullshit!
>Spike was looking everywhere except you.
>"R.. Right. Everythig is cool Anon."
>Double bullshit.
>Do you wish to pursue the subject? 
>Remember, you need them, to think about you, as high as possible.
>Only then, they would help you if things go astray with Celestia.
"Okay, I won't ask. So when princess Celestia will be here?"
>You bet in advance that Twilight told Spike about this visit.
>He don't look surprised, so everything's fine.
>Happy that you didn't pursue the former subject, Twilight answered.
>"Something came up in the morning, but now I think that she has taken care of that, and will be here any moment now."
>You sat on the couch.
"So, Twilight about the morning, if i can ask, where were you? I heard that you were quite nervous about something."
>She jerked her head in Spike direction.
>"Spike!"
>He just shrugged his shoulders.
>"What? You were nervous."
>You continued talking to purple p0ne.
"Twilight, was it something related to me?"
>After giving Spike a stink eye, she focused her attention on you.
>"No Anon, you see..."
>One of the lounge windows broken into million pieces!
>Showering you in the rain made of glass.
>Something landed hard behind one of the armchairs!
>~"ASSASSIN! Celestia send him to destroy US! Stand and fight!"~
>You stand, as quick as your now inhuman reflexes allowed.
>Before you could saw, what was behind the piece of furniture, you felt Nightmare guiding her magic inside your veins.
>Power exploded out of you in the form of black magic discharges.
>I was the biggest magic surge you ever felt!
>After a moment you realised, that your power aura had impact on everything around you.
>The furniture was crashing against each other and the walls.
>Spike was plastered to the ground by the invisible weight, that was slowly crushing him.
>And he was a rare magic dragon, that supposed to be protected from most magic powers!
>He was of course young, but still!
>Twilight was in a little better state.
>She was walking in your assassin's direction on the wobbly legs, knees bent.
>Then you heard the most screeching shout in your life.
>"NO PLEASE! I'M SORRY! I DIDN'T COLLIDED WITH THE CASTLE ON PURPOSE! I'M NOT ACCUSTOMED WITH ITS NEW FORM IN TOWN YET! PLEASE I HAVE A DAUGHTER! YOU'RE CRUSHING THE LIFE OUT OF ME!"
>Twilight eyes were like saucers at that.
>"ANON STOP! WE ARE NOT IN DANGER! PLEASE!"
>The floor beneath you began to crack.
~"You heard that Nightmare! Stop what you're doing with US!"~
>~"NO! She's in cahoots with Celestia! I don't trust her!"~
>Twilight was at full panic mode now.
>"ANON! THIS IS DERPY, TOWN'S MAILMARE! SHE HAD A BAD CASE OF LAZY EYE, THATS WHY SHE CRUSHED HERE! WE ARE IN NO DANGER! YOUR POWER IS TOO MUCH! IT WILL KILL
HER AND SPIKE! PLEASE STOP OR I WILL HAVE TO MAKE YOU!"
>You clenched your fists.
~"DID YOU HEARD HER! ITS JUST A MAILMARE! STOP IT NOW!"~
>SO BE IT! But mark my words, if I see just a muscle spasm, that I don't like, from this 'mailmare', I'm not stopping again until she's DUST!"
>Everything went silent.
>Your reflexes and other things went back to normal.
>There was no magic oozing from you anymore.
>In front of you lied a grey mare with a blonde mane.
>She had a mailman bag strapped to her.
>She was breathing hard and bleeding from her nose.
>Twilight was with her.
>Great, now you're fucked!
>Fucked right in the ass!
>
>You are Twilight Sparkle.
>And you're in panic!
>Not in "you forgot to triple check your checklist' mode.
>Rather in "this ursa major is going to destroy the entire town" mode!
>There is a pony lying in your main lounge and bleeding on the floor.
>Actually, it is the local postmare.
>She is a harmless and cheerful mare, who has a child that is precious to her, more than her own life.
>You hope that after the events of this day, everything will stay that way for her.
>But so far everything seems to be uncertain.
>She is half-conscious and looks battered.
>You can hear her mumbling something through her heavy breathing.
>She is apologising.
>Constantly.
>You walk up to her quickly, passing your destroyed furniture.
>After a quick visual inspection, you decide that her physical health is not in danger.
>Regardless, you're pumping as much healing magic, as you can into her.
>However, you're not sure about her mental state.
>She is shaking like mad, looking at Anon. 
>Her eyes are as big as chariot wheels.
>You don't need a degree in psychology, to see that she's frightened of him.
>You're not suprised of that.
>Actually, Anon scared you too, with that display of raw magic power.
>You think, that if it had lasted any longer, whole castle integrity would have been in danger.
>You didn't know humans had such magic potential!
>When he was unconscious, his body doesn't emitted a lot of magic.
>Probably, most of it was used to repair his internal injuries.
>You were amazed!
>It looked like his magic had a will of its own, to be able to operate on his body, without him knowing this!
>Unfortunately, you couldn't do a lot of research, on what was left.
>Beyond the fact that his magic was quite potent, you only knew what color it has.
>It was black with the hints of blue.
>That was rare, but still, in the land were every individual has different color of magic manifestation, it was nothing unusual.
>You didn't even know what kind of power he possess.
>Its type.
>At first you were thinking, that it was some kind of chaos magic.
>Mind its "self conscious" ability.
>But you couldn't check it, to be sure of that.
>It was dissolving any type of magic probe, you came up with, just like it was doing with healing magic from medical staff. 
>Like it was protecting itself from being recognised.
>It's silly to think like that, but still its very strange ability for magic.
>But back to the matter at hoof with you.  
>His magic was strong, that was for sure.
>But not that strong!
>When he manifested his powers, it was fight with Tirek all over again!
>Well, maybe not that strong, but he was closer to him in raw power, than anypony you knew, except other alicorns and discord of course. 
>You explain his rushed behavior to yourself, by him being scared and confused. 
>In a land he was the only one of his kind.
>If you were in his shoes, the moment Derpy broke herself through that window, you would probably react the same.
>Still healing Derpy, you watched Anon helping Spike getting up from the floor.
>He was apologising him, with the force of thousand Fluttershys.
>Spike, dusting himself, said that it was alright and that he have his share of similar incidents, right after your elevation to alicornhood.
>It was true, you had problems with coping with all this power at the beginning.
>You smile to yourself.
>You were very proud of your little dragon assistant.
>He brushed off that whole situation, like it was nothing.
>You're actually a little embarrassed, that it was somehow your doing, it is so easy for him.
>However, Anon was still apologising to him.
>He was trying to salvage his good name, as much as possible, from what had happened.
>Spike, smiling, asured him that they are still 'bros'.
>He said also, that they should check, if Derpy is all right.
>Both of them started walking in your direction.
>It was a very bad idea.
>When Derpy saw nervous Anon approaching her, she withdrew herself like stabbed with a knife.
>She pressed herself to the nearest wall, looking at him and a chair leg lying on the floor, in horror, at the same time.
>"I'm sory, I'm sory, I'M SORY!"
>She was afraid of him beyond belief.
>Anon was devastated by that.
>Your heart bled at the thought of what you must do.
"Anon please. C.. Can you go and w.. wait in your room!?"
>Its official, you just crushed his heart.
>He is standing there, dumbfounded.
>However, you must be strong.
>For the greater good.
"Please Anon. I'm sure everything is going to be alright. Just give her some time. You both need it. I promise I will help you two, but now you need a few days to cool off. When I see Derpy off the castle, I will come to you."
>Slowly, looking even more nervous than before, Anon went to his room.
>Spike wanted to come after him, but you told him, it would be better to give him some time alone with his thoughts.
>Time to talk to Derpy.
>
>You are Anon.
>You just walked in your room, like you were in a coma.
>You throw your 'groceries' bag, which miraculously survived, on the bed.
>You sat on the only chair that was in your room, near the bed.
>And buried your head in your hands.
>What was this mare's name?
>The one, which looked at you, like you were some kind of a monster?
>The one, which was trying, to bore her way through the wall, when she saw you approaching?
>THE ONE, which WAS SO FUCKING AFFRAID OF YOU!?
>You started to laugh to yourself.
>Moonie finally did it.
>She finally turned you into, a freaking monster!
>DERPY!
>Yes, that is her name!
>When she will tell everyone out there, what has happened, you can certainly expect an angry crowd, made out of ponies with torches.
>Right under your fucking door, no less.
>And then what?!
>Nightmare will likely have one of her 'angry tyrant destroys universe' moments.
>Then - bloodbath.
>What a beautiful future you will have Anonymous.
>Simply glorious.
>You clench your teeth.
>Nightmare will probably never think about making peace, with some p0ne that will think about you being a dangerous freak.
>No!
>When she was borned, someone must have crossed the word 'diplomacy' out of all the dictionaries.
>She will just want to crush anyone, which in her opinion, had wronged her or you.
>You clench your fists.
>She will probably never think that this was her fault!
>This whole mess, in the lounge!
>This... was... all... HER FAULT!
>Now you're fucking angry!
>You stand up.
>Fast.
>You grab the vase with the flowers, from the cabinet near your bed.
>Probably Spike has placed it there, so you would feel more like in home here.
>You crush the shit out of it, right on the wall!
>You catch the curtains hanging in the window.
>Pulling with all your strength, you tear them to pieces!
>You turn around.
>This chair you were sitting in, it looks pretty boring.
>You will fucking fix it!
>You kick it, like it was a fucking stray dog trying to bite you!
>It breaks to smithereens.
>Now it's a fucking masterpiece!
>You are looking madly for something more to break.
>~"I'd like to know, what are you doing? That kind of behaviour is not fitting, for a royal champion!"~ 
>Look who's talking!
"You can go fuck yourself with a lawnmower!"
>You shout out loud, because fuck secrecy, that's why. 
>Your gaze falls on the apple that Aplejack gave you.
>It has fallen out of the groceries bag, on your bed.
>~"Destroying your abode, is such a childish behavior! Cease this nonsense, before anypony will saw you!"~
>You drop the apple off, from the bed on to the floor.
~"Fuck...!"~
>You started stomping it to the ground!
~"...your..."~
>It turns into a fine paste!
~"...royal..."~
>and now its an apple juice with fruit pieces in it!
~"...IMAGE!"~
>She was not happy hearing that.
>~"Mark my words, if you don't STOP this TANTRUM OF YOURS, you will REGRET IT!"~
>Do it faggot!
~"HA! You can't do shit to me right now! I'm not asleep!"~ 
>Then, a realisation hits you.
>You have stopped stomping, what was left of the apple.
>This is a symbol of what will become of you, because of her!
>You will stomp your friends and everything you care for, into the ground!
>And you will do it yourself, without her giving you the power to do that.
>What she will have to do, is just press you here and there, and it will be all over.
>Your 'not-so-peacefull' life, and all. 
>And all that, because she can't control you directly. 
>You boldly stated, at the start of your 'friendship', that she can shove her world domination plans, right up her fabulous ass!
>But now you can see it clearly.
>She waits until the return of her full power.
>Then without friends and any perspectives at having a normal life, it will be very easy to convince you, to her plans.
>Then Equestria = doomed.
>Why not surrender right away?
>This will save you a lot of pain and humiliation.
>You sit on the bed.
>Maybe it will be a good idea?
>...
>No it won't be.
>You really don't want to be a puppet, ruling the world for someone in your head, with an iron fist.
>When you pulled this spear out of your guts at the beginning, you wanted to live your life so much.
>And now you want to throw it away, just like that.
>No you will fight fire with fire.
>She wants to change you?
>You will change her instead!
>Looking at the battered grocery bag, you smile madly.
>Now you even know how to start.
>You grabed the bag, and pulled this wonderfull jar Apllejack gave you, out of it.
>~"I must admit that I am glad that this behaviour of yours stopped. That was unbecoming of you."~ 
>She thinks that you calmed down.
>Think again cunt!
"Well, I wouldn't bet my money on that Moonie. You see, you had humiliated me there, and now it is my turn, to humiliate you!"
>You opened the jar, strong smell of alcohol hit your nose.
"I wonder, how 'OUR' precious royal image will hold, when I go on meet with Celestia and Twilight, wasted like some ugly, alone bastard at a bar, on a fucking christmas!"
>For the first time you could swear you felt fear mixed with her anger.
>~"N..NO! STOP THIS AT ONCE! I COMMAND YOU TO!"~
>Well, you know what they say!
>BOTTOMS UP!
>There are no brakes on the 'getting wasted' train!
>You drink from the jar.
>Man, that stuff is strong.
>And quite tasty.
>Apple family sure knows how to brew their alcohol.
>You feel a little buzz already.
>And of course Nighty's still growing desperation to stop you.
>She's trying to call to your logic.
>~"YOU will only ridicule yourself by DOING THIS! YOU will be such a disgrace in their eyes!"~
>You can't stop me!
>Don't you know who I am?!
>I'm The JaggerAnon bitch!
>You take another sip from the jar.
>~"YOU WILL SUFFER FOR THIS! I PROMISE YOU!"~ 
>You already knew that.
>Regardless, you can't give up on the realisation of your plan now.
>You knew she regarded both of you, as some kind of one entity.
>Whatever was thrown at you by life, was thrown at her.
>Whoever attacks you, automatically attacks her.
>And the most beautifful part.
>Whatever image you hold in somebody's eyes, she holds the same.
>You think, that you was never the one capable of such petty vangance.
>But still, she crossed the line.
>To almost kill someone, without even knowing who he is, or what is going on?!
>And everything was on your account, no less.
>She exactly knew, what she was doing there.
>That was no simple 'power aura' effect.
>It was some kind of an area spell she casted.
>From your combined memory, you knew, it was a very old one.
>It was created long before 'anypony' decided to gather any knowledge about magic in general.
>That was, probably, the main reason, why Twilight didn't catch on that.
>If she would, she would surely accuse you of not thinking about anyone's safety but yours, in a dangerous situation.
>Nevertheless, Nightmare's behavior made you look like a monster, in at least, one pony's eyes.
>Man, what a pleasure it will be, to pay her back for that.
>You take, yet another, sip form the jar.
>Its almost empty now.
>You never drank so much, in such short time.
>You don't care about your dignity, at the moment.
>You can shit, piss, and puke all over yourself in the presence of royalty, you don't give a single fuck!
>What really matters, is for her to feel humiliated in their eyes.
>This delicous golden liquid, will help you in that.
>~"THIS IS YOUR FINAL WARNING! YOU WILL BE EXILED FROM EQUESTRIA BY THAT HAG!"~
>To late.
>You are Anonymous, Drunkard Extraordinaire!
>You're not afraid of nothing!
>Fuken jar is empty.
>Time to get it in its resting place. 
>It served its purpose, with honor and pride of the best glass in the world!
>What's better resting place, for a hero of that high of a caliber, than a trash can?!
>There is one, right in front of you actually.
>With a mighty swing, you throw 'The Jar' in its direction.
>And break the only window it this fucking room!
>Damn, bitch be triping accuracy!
>You hear someone's knocking on the door to your room.
>"Anonymous, Derpy went home for today, but don't worry about her. I explained to her everything and she don't bear any grudge for what happened. She will be here tomorrow, to talk to you. Can I come in?"
>Wild Twalot appears!
>Anon used 'reply the fuck out of this question'!
"Wait fair maiden, I will come to you instead!"
>What a pregnant silence occurred in this place!
>"Well... alright, I'll be waiting in the lounge for you."
>You can hear steps outside the door.
>Time to begin your fantastic journey.
>Totally wasted, you stand up.
>You barely managed this, but you are standing erect now!
>Achievement unlocked!
>You direct yourself to the door.
>~"DON'T YOU DARE TO LEAVE THIS ROOM"~
>I_had_fun_once_and_it_was_awful.jpg
"Ooow you're no fun Moonie, this *hic* will be 'OUR' greatest adventure!"
>You started to move your legs.   
>Confound this whole 'walking bussiness', it drives you to wobble!
>You successfully got to the door.
>You kick it open!
>...with your face!
>Actually, you tripped and hit the door open without using hands.
>Achievement unlocked!
>Dayum!
>Next in such a short time!
>You're such a classy drunk.
>~"I.. I WON'T TAKE PART IN THAT HUMILIATION! Y-YOU WON'T BRAKE ME! WE WILL HAVE WORDS AFTER THAT, I PROMISE YOU THIS!"~
>But now you will be watching!
>Lying on the ground, you drool a little on the floor.
>On Celestia's crotch tits you need to move!
>You need to get to the lounge!
>You begin your walk there.
>On all fours.
>Like a fucking baby.
>Twilight was really waiting for you in the lounge.
>It was looking normal now.
>Everything looked like before Derpy's 'visit'.
>Probably magic was used, to clean and repair what was destroyed.
>Princess of friendship was sitting beside the large table, her hooves on it.
>Spike was nowhere to be found.
>Probably making dinner or some shit.
>Like a god tier drunken commando, you crawled near Twilight.
>...
>And jumped right in front of her!
>She was scared shitless.
"It's a me, Anon!"
>Mario would be proud to tears.
>Twilight managed to calm herself.
>She is looking at you with inquisitive eyes.
>You wobble a little.
>Okay, a lot.
>"Anon, are you drunk?!"
>Ladies and gentlemen the greatest detective in Equestria!
"Aaa*hic*aa little."
>She squint her eyes.
>"Try 'drunk as a skunk'Anon."
>Bitch, this isn't even my final form!
>She is facehoofing hard.
>"Ehh.. Anon please sit down."
>You take one of the chairs away from the table, like a baws you are!
>OH NO!
>You put too much strength to it!
>It landed a few meters back with an ugly bang.
>New record.
>Nobody knew this, but you were chairs natural enemy.
>Twilight wanted to say something.
>You were quicker.
"Sssorry, i d-don't know my ooown strength."
>Well, with Nighty's power still growing, it was actually true!
>You have taken the next chair, slowly.
>And sat your happy drunken ass down.
>Twilight was not happy at all.
>"I understand, that you had to calm yourself down, after what happened, but this is too much, don't you think?!"
"Yyyou're s-sexy, wheeen you're mad!"
>Twilight was dumbfounded.
>"I.. WHAT!?"
>It's not that you have the hots for ponies, but watching her confusion was the shit!
>Okey, you lied.
>Sharing one mind with Nightmare, expanded your tolerance for sexy times with any inteligent being in Equestria.
>Damn, in your drunken stupor, you would fuck anything that have legs and didn't start to run!
>Jesus Christ How Horrifying.jpg
>Smart p0ne started to shake her head.
>"No, this isn't happening. Princess Celestia could be here any minute now!"
>Is one strand of her hair just detached itself from her mane?
>"Anon, you must drink a lot of water now."
>She levitated a whole pitcher of water to you.
>And a glass.
>Never forget about glasses.
>They are the heroes of tomorrow.
>You can hear a whisper in the background *Theee Jaaarrr*.
>One manly tear was shed in its name, it was now free, out there, away from this crazy place.
>Twilight was getting anxious.
>"ANON! Drink the water, please!"
>Man, you hate water!
>Fish fuck in this stuff!
>But you knew this was an order from her, and there is no way for you to weasel your way out of this.
>You decided to drink it, like you drink your medicine.
>With the speed of drunken Kenyans.
>You grabbed the pitcher, and drink all water from it, in one go.
>Best.
>Move.
>Ever.
>Your stomach began to growl strangely.
>Probably it agrees with the statement above.
>Twilight had other opinion on that.
>"Great, now you're going to be sick, and I won't be able heal you with magic. And to think, I wanted to talk to you, about something important before princess Celestia will be here!"
>Her mane is looking like a cactus now!
"D-Don't beee so u-uptight Twalot. I-I will teeell you aaaa joke tooo loosen up, aaa b-bit!"
>She looked at you deadpan.
>You didn't wait for her reply.
"W-What thee royal g-guard saaays to the condom?
>Twilight's eyes were wide now.
>"I-I don't want to know the answer to that!"
>LIAR!
>They always want the answer!
"He ssays 'C-cover me, I'm g-going IN!"
>You start to laugh, hitting the table with your hand.
>You're the golden god of comedy, Discord ain't got shit on you!
>Your stomach growl once again.
>It must be also laughing.
>Purple Seriousness is not laughing.
>"Anon, please! Behave yourself!"
>Grumpy Cat in the house yo!
"Oookay, b-but ooone mmmoreee p-please! I-It will beee g-good this time!"
>You do your best 'Anon beging eyes(TM)' in her direction.
"H-here it g-goes. Whhhaat c-can youuu takee off of t-the nurse t-that iisss working o-on night duty?
>'Twilight has joined your party!'.
>"Okay, I'll bite. How about nurse's cap?"
>You smile madly.
"N-no! D-doctor working oon night duuty!"
>And you were talking about pure comedy gold before!
>Now that was pure gold, no pure diamonds!
>You are laughing with Mr. Stomach so hard right now.
>Wait, Mr. Stomach, something's wrong?!
>Before Twilight could put her hooves in the air and shout, that she is giving up on you, your cheeks puffed out.
>"N..no! Don't even think about it!"
>You don't think.
>You act!
>What has flew out of you, was not a scroll sent by magic mail.
>Your stomach contents colorized the whole table.
>Hard cider and water, hard cider and water everywhere.
>Twilight jumped away from the table in disgust.
>"I knew this was going to happen!"
>You were in no mood to reply to this.
>You felt pretty bad at that moment.
>Twilight casted some kind of 'puke removal' spell.
>The table was clean again.
>She was now beside you.
>She was levitating something in front of your face.
>It was a vial with some kind of green liquid inside.
>"Anon, listen to me closely. This is a 'sobriety' potion, it's made from rare flowers, which you can find in the Everfree forest. It removes the effects of alcohol poisoning."
>You deflated in your chair, your stomach was killing you.
"Why didn't y-you gave this to me e-earlier?"
>She opened the vial.
>The liquid stinks like feet and ass!
>"Judging by your earlier state, I assumed you drank yourself not to long ago. This meant, that the alcohol, which you had in your stomach, was not yet absorbed. This potion only works, when every drop of alcohol you drank, is running in your blood. Now that there is no more of it inside your stomach, it will work properly. You won't be drunk and in pain anymore."
>Oh well, it was a fun ride, as long as it lasted.
>You will always have the memory of it.
>You had drank the contents of the vial in one fell swoop.
>It tasted like old piss.
>Not that you have any knowledge about how that kind of beverage tastes like of course.
>The room stopped spinning.
>The pain in your bowels disappeared.
>You were once again happy 'Anonymous Soberus vulgaris'.
>But 'Nightmare vulgaris' was not happy, not at all.
>~"YOU THINK IT WILL BE SO EASY FOR YOU, NOW THAT'S RICH!"~
>Your head EXPLODES with pain!
>Nightmare just gave you top level hangover!
>She has raised your senses to the maximum, so you could feel everything, which the potion didn't removed, with the force of thousand bodybuilders in tight briefs.
>You could also feel your bowels again.
>You were pale and sweating like a pig. 
>Reagardles, you smile to Twilight.
>Clenching your fists under the table, so you can overcome your suffering for just a while.
>Nightmare kept her word on that, she so fucking kept her word!
>You felt like you were run over by the space shuttle.
"Thank you Twilight, guess I needed that. Also, I'd like to apologise for my behavior, it was very childish of me."
>But you were jumping inside from joy, at the memory of how Moonie there felt, during your drunken escapade.
>You had felt her shame and humiliation very clearly.
>Maybe now she will learn her lesson, and will take your feelings into consideration before she acts.
>Who were you kidding.
>She probably won't learn shit.
>Your head was bumping man!
>Twilight smiled.
>"All is well Anon, I know that what happened was not easy for you to cope with, and you needed some of this liquid comfort."
>If she only knew the real reson.
>Wait, she actually wanted to talk about something important with you.
"Hey, Twilight, you wanted to talk about something with me, before I made a total clown out of myself?"
>She looked at you with serious eyes.
>"Yes, I think there is still a little time for that."
"Okay, I'm all ears now."
>She lowered her head in some kind of shame.
>"Actualy, the thing is, I wanted to apologise you for something Anon."
>Oh no!
>She knew about Nightmare!
>She wanted to apologise, because now, seeing that you were one entity, she will need to destroy you with her!
>"I wanted to apologise, for lying to you about telling Scootaloo parents of this manticore attack, you rescued her from."
>You were just standing up, to argue about destroying you.
"Listen, I will not... Wut!?"
>You were suprised, it wasn't about Nightmare!
>Twilight continued.
>"I never told anypony about it until this morning, and I told it not to her parents, but to her caregiver at the orphanage. That's why I was away this morning, outside the castle. Please forgive me for this, I tried to protect Scootaloo's secret and her good name at the orphanage."
>So, that's what it's all about.
>In truth, you had a feeling about Scootaloo's parents being absent, from the moment she was alone at the hospital with you and Twilight.
>Any normal parent would want to come and personally thank you for saving his child.
"Don't worry about it Twilight, all is well. I'm not mad at you at all, and I will keep it all to myself."
>We interrupt this program to bring you the amazing comment from Nightmare Moon.
>~"What a load of manure! She is just protecting her hindquarters! She knew fully well, that Celestia will learn about this attack from you, and when she does, she will inspect who knew about this and didn't tell it to this child's caretakers!"~
>Actually she's got a point here.
>But you and Twilight were officially friends now, and friends forgive friends for such things.
~"You, surprisingly, speak with sense here. But Twilight is my friend now, and she deserve my forgiveness. You could learn a lot from forgiving others, you know."~
>You could almost taste her disdain.
>~"Forgivness is for the weak."~
>Twilight was smiling broadly.
>"Thank you so much Anon! I hope that keeping it all about her, a secret, is no problem for you!"
>You begin to tell that you were fine with that, but some feminine voice interrupted you.
>"Oh my, I hope I don't interrupt some friendship development here!"
>You knew that voice from Nightare's memories!
>You felt like a ton of bricks was thrown into your stomach.
>Nightmare even ceased bumping your hangover.
>Before you stood, no other than, princess Celestia ruler of Equestria herself.
>It's showtime and you are not prepared!
>Lucky for you, Twilight was on Celestia's face, as soon as she made a sound.
>"Princess Celestia! You're with us, at last!"
>Celestia smiled apologetically.
>"Yes, I'm sorry you had to wait so long, something very important required my attention this morning."
>She looked at you, with her deep purple eyes.
>She was apologising more to you, than to Twilight, which looked as if she knew what was going on.
>Purple p0ne also looked sad for a moment there.
>However, Celestia continued her speech.
>"And please forgive me for interrupting your private talk."
>You were so freaking confused!
>From what you gathered from Nightmare's memories, she was supposed to be more colorful version of your's head tenant.
>Selfish tyrant and all.
>But as you can see, she is the exact opposite!
>As always Moonie must had recomposed her memories to suit her perception of someone.
>Twilight is telling Celestia that, her interrupting your conversation with her, is no problem at all.
>You should say something too.
"I..um..."
>Fucking autism intensifies!
>You didn't even know that you're so nervous right now.
>~"BOW BEFORE HER AND GET YOUR ACT TOGETHER OR SHE WILL START TO SUSPECT SOMETHING!"~
>You_seem_upset.jpg
>You shudder a little from all that shouting.
>You bow before Celestia.
"I concur what Twilight said, your majesty. After all, you're a very busy per.. um.. pony and can't wait forever for us, to finish our conversation."
>Her smile turned to a hearty one.
>"I can see you know how to speak to royalty. Also please, there is no need to bow before me."
>You strighten up.
>Yep, you now how to speak like that. 
>guess why?
>By the way, you need to clear something with your 'teacher'.  
~"Please don't be so loud. It will be looking strange, if from time to time, I start to shudder before Celestia."~
>Now her voice sounded as if coming out of a very deep cave.
>~"If I don't raise my voice, you won't hear me! I'm using all my powers to hide my presence from her! Did you really think she is so stupid, to trust you right away? She is performing a secret magical search on you, right in this very moment!"
>You take a quick look at Celestia's horn.
>It was almost invisible, but there actually was a faint magical aura around it.
>Clever girl!
>You feared that the most.
>She was a cunning beast that Celestia.
>Ruling the entire land for such a long time, tends to do that to you.
>You will have to use all your cleverness to hide your current state from her.
>Twilight looked like she wants to say something.
>"Would you like some tea princess? I can tell Spike to prepare your favorite chamomile tea."
>Celestia turns her attention to her former pupil.
>"Thank you for your care, but I must decline this wonderful offer. I'm afraid that time is of the essence for me and I just got so little left of it to speak to Anonymous here."
>You rise a brow to that.
"Your majesty knows my name?"
>She turns her attention back to you.
>"Of course I know your name fair Anonymous, from what I gathered you're a hero, which rescued one of my little subjects."
>Twilight looked sheepishly in your direction.
>"Actually, I'm to blame here. I was exchanging letters with princess Celestia about you, from the moment I learned about your existence. Sorry."
>Something stirred inside of you.
>Damn that was a really loaded statement.
>If_you_know_what_I_mean.jpg
>~"DAMN THAT BOOTLICK! Celestia already knew about our superior power from the very beginning! Now she will be even harder to surprise, if things go astray!"~
>Yeah, you was a little hurt about your new friend talking about you behind your back.
>But you knew that she had done it to protect 'her kingdom'.
>She was a princess, as much as Celestia here and cared about her people's safety.
"Don't worry about it Twilight. As a princess you do what you must."
>Celestia responded to that.
>"Again, a very fine choice of words. I must admit you are living up to your image, which Twilight painted in her letters."
>Damn, look at that swag up in here!
>Nightmare 'delicately' reminded you that you were not in the clear yet.
>~"Calm yourself, you proud fool! She is telling you, what your ears want to hear! She wants you to believe she's astonished with your performance here. Then she will have no problem in extracting whatever she wants from you!"~
>Moonie can be right.
>She must be a master diplomat, after holding so many day courts, as you can imagine.
>If not for Nighty in your head, she would probably have a big advantage here.
~"As always thank you for your great insight your majesty."~
>You could feel a little emiting from her.
>~"You would die without ME here."~
>No shit sherlock!
>This spear in your guts would surely do a poor job, at sustaining your life here.
>You do a quick glance at Celestias horn.
>Still glowing faintly.
>"Can I ask about your magic Anonymous?"
>Yep, Nightmare was right, Celestia was fishing for a 'one milion bits answer' from you.
>You smile brightly.
>Must keep up the act.
"Of course your majesty, what would you like to know?"
>Celestia came a little closer to you.
>"Tell me, whether possession of magic by humans is a natural thing?"
>Damn, she's got you there.
>You must stall her, to come up with some good explanation.
"You probably know by now, form the hospital staff, that I'm a special one even among my kin, for having magic. Why do you ask?"
>She smiled sheepishly. 
>"I'm curious because you have, don't be offended by this please, similar body type to this of a minotaur. In my entire life, I didn't stumble upon any that would had a magic of their own. They just don't need it to live, in comparison, for example to earth ponies that without it couldn't grab anything without using both hooves. I assume that it's the same with human beings."
>You are resisting hard, not to tell her that its magic and you don't need to explain shit to her.
"You are mostly right about humans your majesty."
>Time to call upon power of total, top level bullshit!
"But not entirely. You see, human beings are designed to live up to one particular law of life. It says, that in our dimension, the ones to survive are not the strongest, or the most intelligent one's, but the one's that can adapt most accurate to the reality, they came to be. When I was literally thrown into Equestria, my body reacted by creating a way to cope with the world around it - magic of its own."
>You don't really know if she bought that, her soft expression didn't change.
>"So magic is a new thing for you then. How can you be so good at using it, in such a short time, even when being unconscious? For some unicorns it's years before they can even levitate something heavier than an apple, with their magic."
>You scratch your chin, as if thinking hard.
"I think I can blame it on the power of the extreme adaptation again. You must admit your majesty, that having a strong magic, and not being able to use it, would be poor adaptation in a magical land. Using it comes for me naturally, like breathing, and I never in my life needed a teacher, to learn how to breathe."
>Twilight joined to your conversation.
>"Sory for asking this Anon, but if for example you would decide to conquer this world, does your magic or something else you have, will adapt to allow it to you?"
>You smiled at that question.
"No, I'm sure that would be impossible. I'm no scholar, but I guess that adaptation doesn't come from a desire, it rather comes from a need to survive. As long as conquering the world, or anything else, won't be required for me to live, I think everypony are safe."
>Man, you hope they bought that.
>You're sweating bullets internally, like crazy crack addict without his fix, right now.
>Celestia's horn stopped glowing.
>Twilight looked like she was convinced by your explanation.
>Mission successful!
>You are performing the victory dance of your people inside your thoughts now.
>Celestia looked outside for a moment with absent minded expression.
>"I'm sorry but my wonderful time here, has just come to an end."
>She looked back at you.
>"I'm very pleased with our conversation Anonymous, and please call me Celestia from now on. I hope that your stay in this land will be as pacefull, as one can be. I hereby grant you full citizenship and something more. The royal treasury will pay for your new house here in Ponyville, as a token of appreciation from the crown, for rescuing this little filly."
>She started to direct herself to leave Twilight's castle.
>"I wish you good evening Anonymous, I hope we can speak with each other more in the future."
>She looked at Twilight.
>Wait, why does she have so sad expression?
>"Twilight can I ask you to see me off, I wanted to exchange some words with you in private, Anonymous doesn't need to bother himself in what I have to say." >Twilight agreed eagerly, no surprise there. 
>Well, she gave you full citizenship and want to buy you a house, so you don't think that her magic search found anything wrong with you.
>However, you know what the say.
>'Hope dies last'.
>As they were walking out of the lounge, your gaze stopped at Celestia's ass.
>Top unf.jpg + Dat ass.gif
>They were outside now.
>One of the chairs was wrapped in dark energy.
>And crash landed in your stomach at mach3.7 speed!
>You did said that you and chairs were natural enemies, don't you!?
"Ugh!"
>You fell to the ground like a little bitch.
>~"BEHAVE YOURSELF, YOU BUCKING HORNY DIAMOND DOG!"~
>Damn, she can do that now?!
>Throw stuff at you in high velocity?!
>Maybe she could from the start, but didn't want to feel your pain or something?
>Or maybe she didn't care enough, but what has changed?
>As you start asking that question, Twilight's head appear in the lounge entrance.
>"Is there something wrong Anon?"
"No, no. I just tripped on that chair here. I really need to pay more attention in the future, where I'm going."
>Twilight looked at you in disbelief.
>"Ooookay let's just say I believe you. This time. Stay in here, I will be with you in a minute, then we can go to this party Pinkie prepared for you."
>How can you forget that!
>Normally you would jump in the air from joy.
>You would sooo drink yourself to a coma at this party.
>But after your little adventure with hard cider not to long ago, you don't even want to think about it.
>Maybe you can tell Twilight you're not feeling so well and that you want to stay at the castle.
>...
>You are Anon
>And you are at the party, which Pinkie has thrown in your name.
>You came here after hearing what happened with others, which stood pink p0ne up.
>You weren't scared of this little shit of course.
>Okay maybe a little.
>What you really was scared of, was Nightmare's reaction to Pinkie's inevitable retaliation.
>You barely remembered that one internet image, on which some badass grim dark robot, was ripping in half some unknown pink cartoon character.
>You didn't want a future like that for Pinkie.
>Now your new mission in life, was leaning against the wall at the parties.
>You were so fucking good at this!
>After presenting you to everybody as the guest of honor, little pink nuisance and smart p0ne went to party their asses off.
>In case of Twilight it was a literal statement!
>In the first few minutes of her dancing, you didn't know it was dance, you thought she was having a fucking stroke!
>She has gathered quite an audience.
>That gave you the opportunity to blend yourself with the crowd, and then find yourself a wall to lean against.
>You were not really in the mood for party right now.
>You were tired, sick and a little annoyed after this whole day.
>Of course there was ponies that were interested to talk with you.
>You were polite and shit, but tried to end those conversations, as quick as possible.
>Look, here comes another one!
>Wait, its Rainow Dash.
>What that kind of mare was doing here, was beond you.
>This was a fucking kindergared party!
>No alcohol, kid's games like 'pin the tail', music with lyrics without curses in them, nobody was fighting on the floor.
>Maybe she was here for the free food, or was ivited and didn't have any choice, like you.
>"Hey there Anon!"
>She puts one of her hooves up front.
>Sweet mother of broism!
>You fistbump it to high heavens!
"Sup!"
>She is looking at you with a stupid smile.
>"So, got an invitation to the party I see!"
>You had an ugly grimace on your face.
"Yep, the party of my life!"
>She hit you lightly with one of her hooves in the leg.
>You could almost visualise Nightmare emerging out of your ears to beat the living crap out of her.
>Lucky for you and her, nothing like that happened.
>"Don't be such a stick in the mud, live a little!"
>You took a sip of your soft drink.
>At the moment, you could almost weep, after this glorious golden liquid that invited itself on Twilight's table.
"So what's going on Rainbow, came for a rematch?"
>You must have a delay in oxygen supply to your brain, to say that!
>If she say 'yes' to that, this whole fucking party will be the last for everyone!
>You included.
"Nah, not in the mood now, say can I ask you something?!"
>Fuck that was close.
>You were flying in to the danger zone there.
>Man, that movie song was the shit!
>You must think next time, before you say anything.
"Shoot."
>She was looking kind of nervous there.
>"It's about Scootaloo, I know that you got a special connection with that kid."
>Before you could say otherwise, she pulled some torn papers out, from under one of her wings.
>She presented them to you.
>"Those are special coupons I created for her, do you think she'll like them?"
>On the 'cupons' were crudely drawn Rainbow Dash, in some kind of 'glory aura' and there was something written under that 'masterpiece'.
>'One Dash Coupon For A Flying Lesson'
>Damn that was creative of her.
>You smile broadly.
"I think she will lose her consciousness from joy, after you give those to her."
>Nightmare wanted to say something about this, and like always she didn't wait for her turn in conversation, which is never if you're involved.
>~"What an ignorant way to be in somepony's good graces! This is a laughable excuse for an apology, after she left that child alone in that forest!"~ 
>Hey, this isn't how you remembered that!
>Nightmare must had again altered her memory of someone, based on her opinion of that person erm.. pony!
>Still, you didn't even suspect she cared about Scootaloo so much, for her to say something like that.
>You could so much tease her right now about her being 'Mommare Moon', but you would like to leave this party on your own legs.
>There was a lot of chairs there at that party.
>Rainbow visibly brighten at what you have said. 
>"Thanks Anon, I  appreciate it. Say, I can clearly see you wana go home. If you want you can sneak out and I cover for you?!"
>She is a bro now, that's official!
"Thanks gurl! I'll be on my way then, see you around!"
>You fistbump the shit out of her hoof and then using your broad set of ninja skills got out of the party.
>...
>The air outside was fresh and cool.
>You took a detour near the Apple Farm in a way back to the castle.
>Nice 'detour' bitch!
>Okay, you just wanted to stretch your legs.
>There was some night bugs chirping in nearby bushes.
>The stars were already visible in the sky.
>You could feel that Nightmare was content.
>You think she wasn't such a bad pony after all.
>She just got too big of an ego, and some trust issues, and maybe was a little too much of an attention whore sometimes.
>Nothing that couldn't be repaired if there was some time to spare.
>Regardles nopony ever spared that time for her.
>You were not surprised, when she controlled Luna, she also didn't spared time for those who were opposing her vision of world.
>She just squash them like bugs.
>Maybe now when she knew, there is no way to achieve world domination with you, she will finally find some peace?
>And maybe you will find some common ground with her someday?
~"Hey Moonie, I didn't thank you about saving me out there, in that old castle. You know I was really scared back there"~
>There was silence.
>Common, nobody ever thanked you for saving his life?!
>This is probably a bullseye you little fucker.
>~"I...I DON'T need your appreciation! I did what had to be DONE! S... still, your queen is p... pleased with your adoration of her actions."~ 
>Damn Moonie you're making my heart melt.
>You want to say that she have to learn how to take a 'thank you' properly, but surprisingly she continues.
>~"I must state that I didn't know you were s... such a good conversationalist. You had that old hag there on the ropes!"~
>If Celestia was an 'old' hag what are you Nighty?
~"Wow thanks, that must be the first real compliment I heard from you ever! You know, keep it up and I will come up to conclusion that I'm kind of happy with you out there sharing a life with me."~ 
>Man, you felt her 'heart' rate jump like some autistic rabbit there.
>~"I...I mean your queen is..."~
>Shame, she never got to finish that.
>Something was in the bushes.
>They rustled like crazy.
>Just like your jimmies now.
>Somebody's ninja skills was worth shit.
>It was surely something bigger than a bug there.
"I know you're in there! Come out so I can see you! There will be no further warnings!"
>The bushes stopped rustling for a while and then something started to walk in your direction through them.
>What came out of them, had made your heart stop.
>It was Scootaloo.
>She was badly beaten and bruised.
>Did she had another run with a manticore?!
>No, that was no manticore, you could clearly saw there was some hoof marks on her face.
>They were big enough to say it belonged to some adult pony.
>She was shaking badly looking at you.
>You didn't wait for her to say something, you ran to her and caught her in your arms.
"Hush now, everything is going to be alright, I promise!"
>She sobbed aloud in your arms.
>You started petting her mane gently.
>Nightmare was screaming bloody murder for somepony who did that to her.
>You felt like she was charging enough offensive magic to take on a grown dragon.
>It was actually 'OK' with you.
>You know what you must do now.
>You must take this little filly to hospital.
>Ask if she knew who did that to her, or how he or she looked like.
>After that, somepony won't be  sleeping well tonight.
>Because dead ponies don't sleep at all.

End of chapter4