>Yesterday was probably one of the best days you’ve had in a very long time. >You lay in bed for a little bit to think. >As long as you go out with your friends, things can be fun. >’Do you honestly believe they can do this all the time?’ >Of course not, I’m not dumb. >’Really? It took both Connie AND Rest to get you out of the house.’ >That’s different. >’No it isn’t, had they not pushed, you would’ve stayed inside.’ >Yeah, you’re right about that. >’When this is all over, things will go back to the same routine, you can never escape that.’ “That’s not true.” >’Don’t fucking lie to yourself Eri, it’s sad.’ >You pull a pillow over your head and groan into it. >’Can’t ignore this forever, you will see.’ “Fuck this.” >Tossing the pillow aside, you get up and leave the bedroom. >As you go out into the hallway, you nearly slip on the socks you’re wearing. >Forgot about those, you put them on to hide the bandages last night. >Carefully, you continue to the source of the heavenly aroma. >Of course Connie is cooking again. “That smells wonderful.” >Connie turns to you with a small smirk. >>”I’m certain it does, it’s french toast with a side of hay bacon.” >Not like your stomach is going to argue with that. >Joining Rest at the table, you see she is half finished. >”Nice socks.” >You stumble out an excuse. “T-thanks, my hooves were a little cold last night.” >>”Told you it can get cold at night here.” >Rolling your eyes, you reply back. “And that’s why I packed socks and hoodies.” >You start to eat and let out a small moan of satisfaction. >Hearing a giggle you see Rest looking at you with a smile. >”Yeah, it is good isn’t it?” >Nodding, you rather not speak right now, just enjoy the food. >As you continue to eat, Connie joins you both. >>”So, after I’m done practicing, where would you two like to go next?” >”You mentioned the museum, how about there?” >Before they can ask you like yesterday, you just agree. “Sounds good.” >>”Great, we can even get a tour as well. I haven’t been there in a while, but it’s a lovely place. I’m certain you two will like it.” >You nod along and finish eating. >Figuring you should go wash up, you head back to the bedroom. “I’ll go prepare then.” >Connie nods and the two of them start to chat as you reach the bedroom. >You look through your clothes and just settle on wearing the same hoodie again. >No point in changing into something else, though the socks gotta go. >You set them aside for now. >Though as you turn to go to the bathroom, you run into Rest. >”Hey there.” >You freeze, thankfully the bandages are covered by the clothes you’re holding, but that doesn’t stop the fear. “H-hey.” >She looks concerned. >”Just checking on you, wanna make sure you’re alright.” >Of course. >’Why wouldn’t she? You cause her enough concern.’ “Yeah I’m fine, looking forward to seeing the museum.” >She smiles and gets a little closer making you feel more nervous. >”I’m happy to hear that, but don’t forget that you can open up to either of us.” >Rest gives you a small hug, one you eagerly return. >’You’re so desperate it’s pathetic.’ >Let me have this dammit. >She pulls away, and gives a soft smile. >You give a smile in return and head into the bathroom. >As the tub slowly fills, you check on your cut from yesterday. >Looks better, but that doesn’t mean much. >’So how long do you think you will hold out Eri?’ “As long as I can.” >’You know Rest really isn’t your friend, right?’ >Your anger starts to rise. “Just fuck off.” >’Touched a nerve? She sees you as a pet project you know.’ “T-that’s not true.” >’Face it, when you’re fully ‘healed’ she will leave you.’ >Gritting your teeth and squeezing your eyes tightly you try to silence the thoughts. “Leave me alone...Please...” >The sound of the filling tub is the only noise you hear. >Opening your eyes slowly, let out a slow sigh of relief. “Have to stop doing that.” >Turning off the facet, you climb into the tub and try to relax. >However, your thoughts start to wander again. >How long will you actually hold out? >It’s not like you want to die, right? >… >Maybe dying isn’t so bad... >Shaking your head, you quickly clean up rather than deal with this shit. >Though you hurry, it doesn’t hide the fact that you thought of that. “W-why can’t I just be normal? Seriously, is it that fucking hard?” >Silence. >Letting out a groan, you should know better by now. >Just as you’re about to leave the bathroom, you nearly forget to wrap up your leg again. “Idiot, I can’t believe I nearly did that.” >You quickly wrap it up and look it over. >Feeling satisfied, you put on your hoodie and head out to the other room. >Connie’s music echos from the living room, it soothes you a little. “At least I have that...” >Slowly you trot to the living room, and see them both were they where yesterday. >For a while, you stand there in the entrance, just listening to the music. >It’s beautiful. >Makes you wish you could play an instrument, but you always sucked. >All you have is a talent that no pony can enjoy, least of all yourself. >A cold feeling enters your heart, and your eyes start to moisten. >You close them in an attempt to hold back the tears, but a few tears fall to the floor. >Taking a few steps back, you don’t want either of them to see you like this. >You can’t hold back much longer, so you retreat to the bedroom to let it out. >The moment you reach the bed, you bury your head in a pillow and softly cry. >Rest even told you that you could open up to either of them, but here you are, alone and crying. >But you know why you’re not, you don’t want them to see you suffer nor do you want them change today’s plans. >Just suffer alone...For them… >Eventually your tears dry up, and you pull away from the pillow. >Your voice is barely a whisper now. “S-so s-stupid...” >You rub your eyes and head to the bathroom to see if you can hide the disgrace marking your face. >Looking into the mirror reveals your eyes are bloodshot and puffy. >’How do you intend to hide this one?’ “I’ll figure it out.” >’You can’t expect them to not see it.’ “J-just leave me alone...” >You turn on the facet and splash some cold water on your face. >It helps freshen you up a little, but you’re going to have to wait it out for your eyes to clear up. >So you sit in the bathroom and trace a hoof over the other leg’s scars. “Don’t remember most of these...” >Many you did while falling apart, even got close to cutting too deep far too many times. >Some like yesterday, were in a bathroom. >A sudden knocking causes you to jump. >”How long are you going to be?” >Of course it’s Rest… “Just a few more minutes!” >You give yourself a once over in the mirror and hope for the best. >Thankfully your eyes are mostly cleared up. >You flush the toilet and run the sink for a minute before turning it off. >Opening the door you give Rest a fake smile and head to the living room. >Connie is looking over some music sheets again. “H-hey, how’s it going?” >She beams and turns her attention to you. >>”Pretty good actually, I’d say practice went well, how about yourself?” >’Yeah, how about it Eri?’ >Still wearing the same fake smile, you answer her. “I’m doing alright, little nervous about today.” >Connie nods and motions for you to sit, which you do. >>”It’s okay to be nervous, just remember we will be right there with you. I’m certain you will like what the museum has to the offer.” >Hopefully she’s right. “Yeah, I’m sure I will get through it.” >She nods and starts to put away her things. >>”Suppose I should get ready as well, be right back.” >You nod and watch her leave. >While your anxiety settles, your mind wanders. >’Do you think you will actually enjoy going to a museum?’ >Haven’t been to one since I was little, so maybe I’ll appreciate it more. >’At least with the theater you couldn’t see the other ponies, but now you will be surrounded in broad daylight.’ >I can handle this. >’Maybe you will, maybe you won’t. With your track record though...’ “I said I will handle this.” >”Who are you talking to Eri?” >Freezing up, you see Rest looking confused. >Your embarrassment skyrockets and you stumble out a response. “I-um...I-I...M-myself! I was talking to myself.” >Sure it’s the truth, but do you honestly think she will buy that? >”Okay, do you want to talk? I know you tend to talk to yourself when you get worked up.” >Forgot she knew that, don’t need to say everything though. “J-just stress that’s all. Still working my way through all of this. Don’t worry though, I haven’t forgotten what either of you have said.” >She smiles and nods. >”I can imagine, you’re doing really well so far.” >’Holy shit, she actually bought that?’ >Just fuck off. “You think so? Maybe this is all working out then.” >’Or maybe you’re on a path to collapse, again.’ >I can try dammit. >”Yes I do, you’ve taken another step towards getting better.” >Maybe you are getting better. >’We’ll see about that.’ >Ignoring that thought, you stand up, feeling a little more renewed. >Connie trots back into the living room looking quite pleased. >>”Alright, lets get going, I’m really excited to visit the museum again. I usually feel inspired after I go there.” >The three of you leave the apartment and like yesterday, Connie hails a taxi. >Though this time, you try to stay focused. >Just remember Eri, do it for them. >A taxi pulls up and you climb in, you decide to try to chat with the other two this time. “From the sounds of things, you’ve been to the museum a lot?” >Connie nods. >>”Yes, it’s nice to see what history is contained within. Really puts a whole perspective on everything.” >”I can imagine a city like this has a lot of history, though I don’t know much about Manehattan.” >>”It’s not just on Manehattan, there is stuff on the history of Equestria and much more.” >Would be nice if you could share their enthusiasm, maybe you will when you see it all. >While you wouldn’t mind adding more to the conversation, you start to zone out. >’Giving up again?’ >They understand, not like they expect me to be as talkative. >’Do you honestly believe that? They would probably like it more if you actually talked instead of being a fucking wall.’ >Die in a fire. >The taxi pulls up to a huge concrete building adorned with statues and pillars. >Guess this is the museum. >Connie and Rest get out of the taxi with you joining them. >As you all trot up to the building, you’re starting to feel overwhelmed >This place feels really imposing. >Damn anxiety is trying to dissuade you again. >Gritting your teeth, you continue to follow them and watch as Connie talks to a mare who probably is in charge of tours. >You look around in the meantime, this place has high ceilings and banners. >Of course there is a fuck ton of ponies around, and slowly you feel yourself start to shake. >Not because you’re cold, but because you’re so damn afraid. >For fucks sake, just hold on Eri, you can do this. >You pulse rises and with it, so does your breathing. >Come on you piece of trash, don’t give in, please for the love of Celestia, don’t give in… >>”We made it just in time for the next tour.” >Snapping out of it, you see Connie smiling and looking at you two. >Thank fuck… >You slowly calm down and follow Connie as she leads you over to a group. >A guide grabs the attention of the whole group. >>>”Alright everypony, we are about to begin our journey through the museum. I ask that you wait to ask questions till after I explain each exhibit and to stay together. We don’t want anypony to get lost after all. Is everypony ready then?” >A collective agreement goes out from the group. >She smiles and starts to lead the group to one of the wings of the museum. >>>”Starting off with Manehattan, it was founded shortly after the unification of the three tribes. This was necessary...” >Slowly, you tune her out and look at the many exhibits around the room. >There are many pictures and even some old things from when the city was founded. >You feel yourself start to relax as you distract yourself. >The guide starts to move with the group again and you follow along once more. >This section has various fossils, skeletons, and all other kinds of stuff. >Of course you zone in on the skeletons, they looks pretty cool. >One of which is labeled Modern Equus. “Huh, so that’s what is inside of me. Spooky.” >”It’s pretty rad.” >You jump and notice Rest is looking at the skeleton with you. >She realizes this and smirks. >”Jumpy?” “Fuck, you scared me.” >She giggles. >”Didn’t mean to, but I’m happy to see you interested.” >>”Come on you two, we can’t fall behind.” >You both look to see Connie waving to the moving group. >”Be right with you.” >Nodding, you both quickly rejoin the group. >Looks like the next area is dedicated to Equestion history in general. >Sure you learned that in school and you forgot most of it, but it’s kinda nice to remember. >As the tour guide talks, you look around again. >’Can’t pay attention, can you?’ >I can, just rather look is all. >’You were the same way when you were a filly, guess you didn’t change at all.’ >That’s not true, I’m not a damn filly anymore. >’Doesn’t stop you from breaking down and crying like one.’ >It’s not like I want to! >’That’s real rich. ALL of your problems are from being an attention whore.’ >Shut the fuck up! >’Truth hurts, don’t it Eri? Then again, that’s not the only thing that hurts, you hurt yourself.’ >You shut your eyes tightly as tears threaten to emerge. >I am getting better, regardless of what you think. >’You mean what you think. I am a random thought in YOUR head, YOUR thoughts at that.’ >I-I need to find Rest and Connie. >As you open your eyes, you don’t see the group. >Your eyes widen as you realize you’re alone. “No, no, no, no...I-I can find them...Just focus like they told you.” >Quickly, you start to look for them. >As you enter the next room, you see them quickly rush to you. >”There you are!” >>”Are you alright?” “Yeah I’m fine, just got distracted is all.” >”Are you sure about that? You don’t look alright.” >You probably look awful. “I just...I had a minor incident, that’s all.” >They don’t look that convinced. >>”How about we just...Finish this up and get going?” >Connie looks to Rest who nods. >’Fantastic Eri, you ruined the whole tour.’ >You say nothing and follow them while looking downwards. >Though they talk and try to include you, you just nod or shake your head instead of talking. >The tour finishes up and you leave them with, feeling worse. >Even the ride back to the apartment, you remain silent. >When you get back, you skip out on dinner and just head back to the bedroom. “...Idiot...Couldn’t stay normal for one day...No...” >Tears fall freely as you reach the bed and collapse on it. >Slowly, you fall asleep crying.