Because BiE has a ridiculous number of chapters, this compilation is for anyone who intends to download them to any mobile device.

=Bros in Equestria.=

>It was Saturday, one of those lazy Saturdays where you like to sit on your bed and do nothing.
>Which is precisely what you were doing.
>Nothing beat waking up, not having to go to classes, and just letting your mind wander over the marvels of the internet.
>Your entire apartment was silent save for the fan you had trying to get rid of the heat and the occasional sound of your bro in the next room rummaging for glue or something.
>As you click on the thousandth link of the day, you notice that your room was significantly brighter then it was a minute ago.
>You looked up and saw that, yes, your blinds were still drawn, and that this light was blasting through them to illuminate your room like this.
>"What the fu-"
>You were interrupted as the entire apartment started spinning.

>You held onto the side of the bed with a kung fu grip that would make G.I. Joe proud.
>It was all you could do to avoid being tossed around like the rest of your things.
>Over the sound of your things clattering and the high pitched whine that had joined the blinding light, you could make out one sound your recognized.
>"FFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-"
>Oh good, your bro was handling this was the same level of class he was famous for.
>No time to worry about him now, your grip was slipping and you didn't want a lamp to the face.
>As suddenly as it had started the white light and defining noise vanished and gave way to cyan blue and the sound of birds chirping.
>Or at least it did before the resounding CRASH of concrete and ground followed by the staccato of all your things hitting the ground.

>Okay, what the fuck.
>You scrambled to your feet and burst into the hallway at the same time as your bro was stepping out of his room and looked at you
>His eyes wide and breathing quickened, he half shouted "What the tap dancing Christ was that!?"
>Your expression no doubt mirroring his own, you responded "I have no idea, you okay?".
>He seemed to calm down and rubbed the back of his head as he spoke. "I conked my head when it started, but I'm fine. Can't say the same for my room."
>"I know the feeling, I almost got flung off my bed."
>You looked around to see that the table you kept in the hall had fallen over.
>"If this table is over then the rest of the furniture might have fallen too, go check the front of the house and I'll take the back."
>Your bro stepped out of his room and started walking. "Got it."

>The back of your apartment really only consisted of the two bathrooms.
>Apart from your medicine cabinets being emptied, there didn't seem to be that much damage.
>A quick check told you that the sink and showers weren't running, however
>You returned to the hallway and saw your bro returning, you looked at him expectantly as you awaited the damage.
>With the annoyed look that constituted his normal face he reported "Rest of the house is the same as we thought, most of our shit's been knocked over. The TV's safe, thank god, but I wouldn't go into the kitchen."
>You sighed in relief. That TV was the size of a dining table, you weren't looking forward to having to clean that mess.
>"The bathrooms are more or less the same, but the weird thing is that the water isn't running."
>That got his attention. "I tried both the kitchen light and the fridge light, nothing. Stove won't even turn on either."

>"That's weird, you think that light thing cut the lines to the-"
>You were interrupted for the second time today by a brash sounding voice coming from outside.
>"I'm telling you! This big box zapped into the air over here and fell to the ground!"
>Your bro and you exchanged a glance before you spoke up. "People."
>You walked to the front door and went for the peephole as your bro silently stepped into his room and started throwing things around.
>Damn. The peephole glass got cracked when you crashed to the ground, all you could make out were some inconsistent blobs on the other side of the door
>You heard your bro coming up behind you. In a matter-of-fact tone he asked "What have we got?"
>"I can't tell." You replied. "The glass is broken."
>Before he could respond, a second voice spoke up outside, this one much quieter
>"I hear voices!" It yelped.
>Ohshit.

>"Whoever they are, they know we're in here." Your bro whispered, unease creeping into his voice.
>"Think we should open the door?" You whispered back, no less on edge.
>"Better to get this over with quick before they decide to let themselves in."
>"Okay. On three."
>"One..." You gripped the door handle tight and unlocked the padlock.
>"Two..." You could hear your bro make a small movement, preparing for whomever was outside.
>"THREE!" As you flung open the door, the both of you stopped dead in your tracks at what you saw.
>What. The. Fuck.

>Standing before you were six waist-high multicolored horses. Each of their faces aghast at what they were seeing.
>You're brain could barely process what it was seeing, the only sound escaping from your lips a resounding "Uh..."
>For a few seconds that felt like the most awkward eternity ever passed before your bro spoke up.
>"Ba-weep-gra-na-weep-ninny-bong." he said without taking his eyes off your new guests.
>The purple horse in the lead got a confused look on its face and pulled back before she countered. "Excuse me?"
>Relaxing a bit, but still eyeing the horse, your bro said "...you speak English."
>The purple horse lowered itself and grew a nervous smile. "Uhm... Yes. Well then, my name is Twilight Sparkle and these are my friends. Who are you?" She asked.
>It was your turn to speak, but you knew better then to give your real name to strange people, let alone strange bright horses who spoke.
>"Uhm...Anon. My name's Anon."

>This Twilight horse nodded at you, that same smile on her face. "Okay then, and you are?" She asked, turning to your bro.
>He gave a quick annoyed glance at you before meeting her gaze again. "Mous. You can call me Mous."
>"Anon and Mous. Hi there, as I've said, I'm Twilight Sparkle and these are my friends: Rainbow Dash, Applejack, Rarity, Pinky Pie, and Fluttershy."
>"What are you guys?" The one you assume to be Rainbow Dash asked.
>"Uh. We're humans, and this is our house. We don't really know what's going on...can any of you give us an idea?"
>Before anyone could respond, your vision was overcome by pink wall of hair and face.
>"Ohmygosh!YourhousejustlandedinthemiddleofthisfieldandthenyoutwoguyswalkedoutandhiimPinkiePie1" It said, faster than you thought possible.
>"Uh..."

>Another horse spoke up, a tan one this time. "Pinkie Pie, get down from there. Ya'll aint helping' put these fellers at east when ya ask your questions that fast."
>That one had a southern accent. They have Kentucky here?
>Pinkie Pie zipped back to her original place before you could react and turned to the new horse "Sorry Applejack, but you know how excited I get when I meet new people!" She started bouncing up and down halfway through that sentence. They also seem to have meth here.
>Wherever here is.
>A yellow horse stepped out from behind Twilight "Um...Excuse me, but...what are the two of you?" This must be Fluttershy. She does her name credit.
>"Mous" spoke up this time. "We're people."
>"People?" Fluttershy said.
>"You know, humans."
>Fluttershy tilted her head and gave a look that could melt glaciers. "I've never heard of a 'human' before..."
>"Well, I've never heard of a talking horse before." Mous all but spat out. Mous had had that temper since you were kids, and it just bit him in the ass.

>Okay, now everyone looks offended.
>"Excuse me!" Came a sharp voice from the back. "We are not 'horses', we are ponies, and you'll do well to call us as such."
>Since you knew everyone else's name, you assume this is Rarity.
>Mous' eye's squint as he stares at Rarity. "Ponies." he says flatly.
>"Exactly that." huffed Rarity.
>"Not horses." he said again, with the same annoyed voice.
>"Yes!" she responded, her own annoyance becoming apparent.
>The second most awkward moment of the day passes as Mous and Rarity have some sort of staring contest/silent argument.
>You hear him sigh followed by a short "Right..." as he tries to end the argument and save face at the same time.
>So as not to offend your knew acquaintances, you step in "I'm sorry for my friend here, our arrival here was a bit rough. Can any of you tell us where we are? This doesn't look like the city."

>Now they look confused instead of offended, you guess that's an improvement.
>Twilight steps up with her expression showing equal parts concern and curiosity "You're in Equestria, where else would you be?"
>Oh shit, Mous caught that. "Equestria? The land of the pastel ponies is called 'Equestria'? Where do you all live? Fillydelphia?" he said with a grin.
>"No, we live in Ponyville, Fillydelphia is a ways away."
>He clearly wasn't expecting a straight answer "Uhm...right." was all he could say. 
>Holy shit. Someone actually rendered Mous speechless.
>"Okay, miss, Twilight was it? Can you tell me and my friend here how we got to Equestria?" you ask, trying not to let your amusement show
>"Hmm. I can certainly try." she answers and steps close to the wall of your house.

>It was a miracle that the walls stayed intact as they did. They looked all in one piece so you wouldn't have to worry about the roof collapsing at least.
>Twilight stood near the wall and closed her eyes as what looked like a horn on her head started to glow a light pink.
>"Hmm. There's residual magical energy all over your home, but I can't tell what kind." she says opening her eyes. "I'm sorry."
>"It's uh...okay." a purple unicorn just did something to your house and was talking about magic. You still are fairly open to the possibility that you had horrible food poisoning and this was just the dream you were having in a hospital somewhere.
>"It's strange that I can't place this magic." Twilight said as she eyed the apartment curiously. 
>"Girls, I think we need to bring Anon and Mous to Canterlot and see if the Princesses can help." she said, turning to her friends.
>Mous was wisely keeping his mouth shut about a place called Canterlot after what happened last time, but you were more interested in the other part of that statement. Princesses? These ponies had speech, town and even government?
>"I think there's a train leaving in an hour or so." Rainbow Dash commented as she flew up to your roof. "We can make it if we go now."
>Wait, flew? How did you miss her wings? You look over the remaining for ponies in front of you. Rarity had a horn like Twilight while Fluttershy had her wings to her side. Applejack and Pinkie Pie looked normal.
> "Good Idea, Rainbow." Twilight said as she turned to you. "Are you two okay with that?"

>Having no idea where you were and with your "Holy Shit" meter busted all to hell with what you've seen in the past ten minutes, you feel like some sort of plan could do you some good.
>"Sure." You answer. "If you think it will help."
>"Great, follow me." Said Twilight, leading her friends away as you started to follow.
>After a few steps, you turned back to Mous, still standing in the doorway. "You coming bro?"
>He shook his head and took his shocked expression with him. "Yeah. Right behind you." he said as he took started after you.
>The two of you walked in silence, the both of you taking inventory of your situation.
>Talking ponies were taking you to see their monarch to figure out why your apartment fell out of the sky. By train it seemed, too.
>Food poisoning was looking ever more likely.

=BiE 2=

>Your name was Mous, you are less then pleased.
>Before you had a chance to get your barring, you and Anon were gawked at by an entire town of ponies and crammed into a train car.
>That was almost three hours ago.
>The time between then and now had been dominated by this "Twilight" pony asking you every question imaginable about Humans.
>As well as giving you both a crash course on her world, from the founding of this nation of Equestria you were in by the princesses you were headed to see, ending with a tale of how her and her friends banished something called a "Discord" just recently.
>Her friends were content to stare out the windows, probably wise to how much this pony could talk.
>After the thousandth question, Twilight finally closed her accursed notepad.
>Fucking thing was probably full with how much she wrote in it.
>"Thank you both for your answers, you certainly have an... interesting species."
>You grunt out an acknowledgement, your patience for this crap left back at your broken ass apartment.
>Anon seemed to have a bit left over. "Not a problem Twilight, maybe it can help us figure out what happened to us."
>Anon had you there.
>It can't hurt letting the experts have all the facts.
>And if it could, you had a plan.
>Sort of.

>As Twilight got up from her seat, you took the opportunity to size up the rest of your merry band.
>Anon looked a bit frazzled, but he had a smile on his face and was looking around the train car with lidded eyes.
>He always was more open in these situations.
>These ponies on the other hand, you weren't so sure of.
>Twilight seemed inquisitive, if a bit incredulous to your explanation of airplanes.
>You'd keep her at arm's length.
>Applejack and Rainbow Dash were talking about something near the front of the car.
>Rainbow Dash seemed brash and loud, she actually reminded you of yourself when you were younger.
>And a bit of yourself now.
>Applejack seemed to be curious about you.
>Not that you could understand why.
>You noticed that she kept glancing at you during Twilight's interrogation.
>Whatever.
>Rarity and Pinkie Pie seemed only partially interested.
>Rarity had been listening in once when Twilight asked you about your clothes, but backed off once the topic was dropped.
>It might be unfair to consider Pinkie Pie uninterested, you thought.
>She was certainly interested in throwing you a "Super Duper Ginourmous Welcome Party" as she put it.
>Maybe she's take an interest after that?

>Listen to yourself, you sound like an egomaniac.
>Just because you would be so interested in a colorful horse dropping out of the sky doesn't mean that these horses would all be interested in you.
>Sorry, not horse, "pony".
>Gonna have to get used to that.
>The one called Fluttershy was sitting in her seat quietly.
>She seemed to be staring at Anon rather intently
>That was weird...
>The final member of your train car wasn't even a Pony.
>It was some lizard-dragon-thing Twilight had picked up on your way to the train station.
>"Spike" as you learned, had jotted down something on a piece of parchment and then blew fire on it.
>Twilight said he was sending a message to her teacher.
>You had no idea what immolating the letter had to do with mail, but you were rolling with it at this point.
>Anon must have noticed you looking around and elbowed you in the rib to get your attention.

>"You cool, dude?" he asked.
>"Yeah, just thinking."
>He smirked. "I thought I smelled smoke."
>You let out a small chuckle and elbow him back.
>"At least I don't look like some dork who's spaces out all the time."
>Not one to be outdone, he replied "Yeah, instead you look like some dork who had his favorite toy taken away."
>"I didn't lose my favorite toy." You say, feigning mockery. "I have it on the back of my belt."
>He raised an eyebrow. "Say what?"
>"I grabbed David before we answered the door, just in case."
>"David" was the bowie knife you bought and had engraved to prove a point when you were fifteen, everyone who said it was a waste of money couldn't get the awesome joke.
>At least that's what you told yourself.
>Anon looked concerned.
>"Dude, we're about to go meet their Princesses, you really think you can sneak a knife into there?"
>You had considered that, they were sure to have security.
>"I can try, and I'd rather have it and not need it then need it and not have it."
>He sits back in his chair without taking his eyes off you.
>"Your funeral, dude."
>"Your funeral too, guilt by association." you quipped back.

>Your train sped out of a tunnel and you both got your first glimpses at Canterlot.
>"Damn..." was all either you could mutter
>Its built into the side of a damn mountain and seemed to not have any support on the ground.
>The whole city looked like it was made of white marble and practically every roof was a rich purple with a glittering golden trim.
>A voice snapped you out of your trance.
>"So I take it you guys like what you see?"
>You turned to see Rainbow Dash leaning over the seat in front of you.
>She had a wide smirk on her face.
>"That city is incredible!" Anon practically shouted. "I've never seen anything like it!"
>"You Ponies sure know how to make a statement." you say curtly.
>Rainbow Dash grinned at the two of you. "Yeah, well, Canterlot is where the Princesses live, they gotta make it look nice."
>You looked out the window and saw that the city was rapidly approaching.
>"Listen." Rainbow said. "If you get nervous here, just stick close to The Dash. I know this city like the back of my hoof." she said as she waved a cyan hoof at the two of you.
>Oh she was beaming at you two like no tomorrow.
>"Yeah, thanks." you reply in as polite a tone as your brain would allow.
>"Got that right, thanks Rainbow Dash." Anon said with a sincere look.
>"No problem Anon." she said as she flew away.
>Well, at least Rainbow Dash seemed helpful, if a bit boisterous.
>Not that you could fault her yourself.
>The train pulled into the station and you and Anon walked to the doors to take your first steps into Canterlot.

=BiE 3=

>Canterlot looked even more impressive on the inside then it did from the outside, and that was saying something.
>Cobblestone streets melded with marble towers in ways you could barely believe.
>You and Mous stood in awe at the remarkable city these ponies had built for themselves as the rest of your new friends filed out of the car.
>Twilight approached the two of you with a smile. "Follow me and stay close you two, we're headed to the royal palace."
>"Understood." Mous answered.
>You gave her a smile of your own "Lead the way Twilight."
>As you all walked, you noticed that these ponies were giving you the same looks as the ones in the town you caught the train in. Most of them were of curiosity or confusion, but you're sure you saw a few looks of disgust in there.
>You glanced at Mous to see that his eyes were darting in every direction. He looked nervous.
>Concerned, you whispered "Something the matter man?"
>He leaned in close to you and whispered back "There's an awful lot of guards in this city, Very City 17."
>You looked up to investigate and saw that, yes, there were indeed many guards at various posts around the city. Some on roofs, some flying through the air, and some on the ground. 
>Every guard looked the same, with a pale white coat and a set of golden armor, the only difference being whether they had horns or wings.
>And every last one of them was watching you.

>Your concerns about being watched were pushed away however, as you arrive at what could only be the royal palace.
>As you reached the top of the stairs, Twilight stopped to address the guards on duty. "We're here to see the Princess, we've brought...friends."
>She must have noticed everyone staring too, she looked nervous. Luckily, the guard nodded and ended the moment.
>"The Princess is in the throne room, she is expecting you." With that you were ushered into the palace proper.
>You eventually entered into a large room with an equally large throne in the rear of it, a rich red carpet lead up to the throne and stained glass windows displaying various events were on the walls.
>Sitting on the throne was a slightly taller pony of dark blue with a long flowing mane, a mane you swear you could see constellations in.
>In addition to her coloration, you noticed that she featured both a unicorn horn and pegusi wings. You remember from your lesson that "Alicorns" as they were rare, and considered royalty.
>Based on what Twilight told you on the train, you could guess that this was princess Luna. Freed from her thousand year term as Nightmare Moon and returned to rule with her sister.
>Twilight stops short with a puzzled expression. "Princess Luna? Why are you here during the day, where's Celestia?"
>You don't know if it's the acoustics of the room or if Luna was actually that loud, but you almost went deaf when she spoke. "Worry not, Twilight Sparkle. Our sister is away on an urgent matter and has ask Us to hold court until her return. She shall do so soon."
>Placated, Twilight continues to walk towards the throne with the rest of you in tow.
>As you walk, you put your hand to your ear to see if you have tinnitus now, Rainbow must have noticed because she flew over to whisper in your ear. "Hehe. Be glad she wasn't using her royal voice, that's ten times louder then what you heard."
>What? She could go louder than that? You make a mental note to not get Luna to shout, for your own sake.
>As you approached the throne, Luna stepped down to greet you all. Her eye's fell to the two of you and she spoke up again, this time in a more pleasant volume.
>"You must be the subject of Twilight Sparkle's letter, she had written that she was bringing a pair of strange creatures to the palace and we feared the worst." That explains all the guards at least, but you wonder what kind of creature warranted that many soldiers.

>"Tell Us creature, do you have a name?" Luna asked as she looked you over.
>"I'm Anon and this is Mous." you said, Mous nodding at his name. 
>"It's an honor Your Highness." you add bow as you say it.
>Luna seemed pleased. "Rise Anon, there is no need for that." She turned towards Mous "And you Mous? Have thee anything you wish to say?"
>Mous kept his hands in his pockets as he spoke and put on a small smile. 
>"My companions words mirror my own Princess Luna, it is a pleasure to meet you." he answered with a slight nod of his head.
>Princess Luna looked over the lot of you and spoke "It seems thou hast found two rather intriguing beings Twilight Sparkle. Not only are they unrecorded, but they show proper etiquette in the presance or Royalty."
>"However, We would recommend that we refrain from deeper questions until mine sister arrives." Luna added.
>"That will not be necessary Sister, I am here." came a voice that reminded you a bit of your mom.
>If Luna was larger than most ponies, then this one must be massive. In walked an alicorn of at least five feet, her horn pushing her well past six. Her wings were out and appeared to be equal to her height in terms of wingspan. Her mane, like Lunas', had an almost ethereal quality to it and seemed to flow despite their being no wind.
>If this was Luna's sister, then this must be the one and only Princess Celestia, ruler of Equestria and bringer of the sun.
>Twilight got an excited look on her face and bounded up to her "Princess!" as she reached her they both placed their necks in each others. Some sort of pony greeting you guess.
>The princess approached you both as her eyes darted back and forth between the two of you, though her warm smile never left.
>"You must be the creatures my student wrote me about, I welcome you to Canterlot. I suggest we find somewhere more comfortable where you can indulge our curiosities." she said.
>Oh hell. First Twilight on the train and now her teacher in a palace, this was looking to be a long day.
>You heard an exasperated sigh over your shoulder before Mous spoke up.

>"Let me save all of us some time. We are Humans, male, in our mid twenties with a life expectancy of 80. We come from a planet called Earth where there are billions of others like us. Our diet is omnivorous and our species evolved from apes millions of years ago. We have absolutely no idea how we came to your kingdom save that it involved a bright white light and a lot of spinning. We are grateful for your hospitality and are of no threat to you or your kingdom and its inhabitants."
>The room was silent as all eyes were on Mous standing there with his arms crossed. "Anything else you wanted to know, your Highness?"
>Celestia's eyes narrowed as she stared at the both of you. "You say that the way you arrived here had a bright white light?" she asked.
>"It got through our thick blinds enough to light up the room like the sun." you answered.
>A "Hmmm..." was all you got from Celestia as she paced for a moment before looking at her student. "Twilight, your letter said that these humans arrived with a building of some kind, were there scorch marks on the outside?"
>What? Scorch marks? You didn't see any scor-
>"Yes Princess, as well as a lot of magical residue. The curious thing was that I didn't find any on Anon or Mous at all." Twilight responded.
>"Wait a second." You say. "I didn't see any scorch marks."
>Mous put his hand on your shoulder and turned you to him. "I saw em dude. They were going up from the underside of the house. You probably missed them what with the weirdness of the moment." Mous looked around the room. "No offense." he said quietly.
>"None taken." said Celestia. "This is a rather strange situation. It almost sounds like a Waygate brought the both of you here, but there would be residue from it on the both of you. Unless..." Celestia turned towards the both of you.
>From her horn erupted a white light that lanced towards Mous, he raised his arm to protect his head only for the light to hit his stomach and cascade off as if it were water. You cringed as some of the light raced towards you but it did the same thing when it hit your outstretched arm. Splintering over it and hitting the walls behind you.
>You looked at Mous. He looked pissed.
>"Grrr...What the hell lady!?" he shouted as his eyes went wild and his arm went to the back of his belt.
>Celestia was quick to diffuse, however. "I apologize but I had to rule out the possibility that you two both had a way of disrupting magic that could only take effect if you were aware of it. That does not appear to be the case."
>"So what is the case?" Mous asked, his head low. 
>"Tell me human, do they have magic on your world? she asked, standing her ground.
>"No" you responded. "No, we don't have magic."
>The Princess lowered her head and shut her eyes for a moment. "So that's what it is..."

>Celestia turned and looked Twilight in the eye. "It would appear that these two are immune to the direct effects of magic." She turned back to the two of you. "Most likely from being from a world where it does not exist."
>Mous relaxed a bit and asked "You mean that everyone in Equestria is magic in some way?"
>Celestia canted her head to the side as she spoke. "All of My little ponies are, along with several of the other species that inhabit out forests." she walked over to the other five ponies and spoke again. 
>"Unicorns are the primary users of magic due to their horns, which act as a focus." After she spoke, Rarity's hair was enveloped in a light blue aura and as it re-arranged itself into a better shape.
>"Pegusi have a more inherent connection to magic, one that allows them to walk on and interact with clouds." Rainbow Dash spoke up with that "Yeah, it's what lets us change the weather to whatever we need."
>Celestia came up to Applejack last "Earth Ponies have a special connection to the land itself. One that makes them ideal for agriculture." Applejack smiled and nodded at that last part.
>"So...magic can effect ponies because they all have some magic inside them? Like a current?" you asked. 
>"Precisely." Celestia said. "What's more, even species that cannot use magic themselves are affected by it, as the land of Equestria itself is magical. Their time here causes them to absorb some of the latent magics into their bodies."
>"But you two..." she continued "You two seem to be blocked off to all magic. Direct or latent." she finished.
>Huh. Blocked off from all magic in a world where it was prevalent? That was kinda cool, almost like a super power.
>Celestia picked up again. "However. There is one more test I would like to perform, with your permission of course." she said as she bowed her head.
>"Uh...sure." you said, curious as to where this would go. You turned to your bro "Mous?" 
>Hr seemed to think for a minute then relaxed from his defensive stance and spread his arms. "Whenever you're ready, your majesty."

>Celestia nodded and caused her horn to glow, followed by your shirt starting to glow.
>You felt your shirt move on its own and saw that Mous was dealing with the same thing. Your chest leaned forward as you tried to hold your ground before the glow receded, taking the pulling sensation with it.
>"It seems that you are, however, effected by an environment manipulated by magic." she said with a smile.
>You guess every super power has a weakness. Here's hoping no one gets made enough to play "the floor is lava" for real.
>"So what does this mean?" you hear Mous ask.
>"Why it means that we're just going to have to try that much harder if we're to send you back!" said Celestia "That will take some time, however, therefore I invite you to stay in Equestria as a guest of the crown."
>This princess was nice, accommodating you at the same time as she worked to fix your situation without asking for something in return? You wish some people back on Earth were like that.
>"Thank you your majesty, you're too kind." You bow after you finish, even Mous bows with you albeit not as deep.
>"Now, you'll need a place to stay. I understand that your home came with you when you arrived here?" she asked with a grin.
>Twilight answered for you. "Yes Princess, it landed in a field on the outskirts of Ponyville."
>Giggling at a town called Ponyville seemed rude at a time like this, so you silenced yourself.
>Wait, your home got wrecked when it landed.
>"Excuse me Princess, but our home was damaged when it landed, all of our power and plumbing was severed. The house is rather inhospitable right now."
>Twilight turned to look at you, "Oh don't worry, I can fix that by just altering the ley lines in town a bit. That's how the rest of the town takes care of utilities. We can help you fix any structural damage too."
>Wow, these ponies were practically saints by your standards.
>"So...now what?" Mous asked as he returned he hands to his pockets.
>Twilight puts a hoof to her chin. "Hmmm...I was planning on us being here longer, the train back doesn't leave for a while."
>Luna speaks up for the first time in a while. "We fear that the citizens of Canterlot may not be as open to the prospect of unknown creatures walking around its walls. We offer you free passage to this floor of the palace until you may take your leave, but venture no further."

>Luna's words made sense, just because you were permitted to stay didn't mean you should go and announce it.
>"Thank you Princess, I'll take you up on that." you say.
>As both Luna and Celestia nod you make your way over to the stained glass windows you saw.
>Out of the corner of your eye you see Celestia talk to Luna and leave the room, royal duties probably.
>"That's a nice garden out there." your turn to see Mous standing at the window next to you. "Are we allowed out there?" he asks.
>Luna nods her head and points towards the door you came in. "Head down that door and take the stairs on your right, they will take you to the garden."
>Mous nods his head in thanks and walks off as you turn your attention back to the window.
>You're so engrossed that you don't notice Twilight walk up beside you. "Enjoying yourself?" she asks causing you to jump.
>She giggles a bit at your expense before she looks at the window, her face dropping. "This window shows what a horrible place Discord made Equestria before the Princesses stopped him." she said.
>The window show some sort of creature that seemed to be an amalgam of several others controlling ponies with puppet controllers.
>"Hold the phone, I thought you said that you and your friends beat Discord?" you asked, starting to lose the nice little history you had in your head.
>"That was after he got released." she answered, putting your mind at ease.
>You continued looking at the window until a thought entered your mind.
>This window overlooked the garden where Mous was and you couldn't see him.
>That made you nervous.

>You are Mous and you are enjoying a nice walk.
>This garden was as nice as you thought.
>It was quiet here.
>Save for the birds.
>The setting sun cast harsh shadows over the statues.
>You heard something behind you.
>You turn and see a small hallway leading into the castle.
>You can hear voices coming from it.
>Curious.
>You start walking through the hallway, hoping to find the source of the voices.
>You are careful to make as little noise with your feet as possible.
>No easy task in boots.
>Snake makes it look easy.
>The voices are getting louder, but not easier to decipher.
>The echo in here was distorting them.
>You could hear one male and one female however.
>You heard a laugh from the female as you reached the corner it was coming through.
>You took a quick peek around to see who was there.
>To your surprise, it was Celestia, she seemed to be talking to a guard.
>"So that's where you went." You think you yourself.
>You listen in.
>"You did well at your "post" earlier Corporal." Celestia said, in a voice you could only describe as sultry.
>The corporal responded with a voice that spoke of gratitude. "Thank you for allowing me to take that "post" your highness."
>"It was my great pleasure." cooed Celestia. "In fact...I was hoping to see you at that post again." she said as she move closer to the guard. "Perhaps, tonight?"
>You were spying on two ponies talk about their sex life.
>Gross.
>Let's keep going.

>The guard grew a wide smile on his face. "I will serve with great pride, your highness."
>Celestia looked at him with lidded eyes. "Very good Corporal, now perhaps you should return you your current post before you are missed?"
>"Of course, your majesty." the guard said as he galloped down the hall.
>As you stood, you saw that Celestia hadn't moved an inch.
>From the look of it, she was staring at the guards ass.
>"I wondered why you were late earlier."
>Celestia whirled around so fast you could hear the wind break.
>"Now I know."
>"How much did you hear?" she asked with her eyes wide.
>"Enough to guess that this palace doesn't seem to have an HR department."
>Celestia regained a bit of her composure.
>"Why are you here? I thought you were waiting in the throne room." she asked.
>"I took a walk in the garden and followed some voices I heard."
>You started walking towards her.
>"A nice palace like this, you never know what kind of conspirators could be lurking about. I felt it was my duty to protect my new monarch."
>She narrowed her eyes.
>"I shall have to install a door down here." she said.
>"Or you could just talk about fucking your guards someplace where there aren't any other ponies. Try carrier birds."
>She got a small grin as her eyes narrowed more, a glint of mischief sparking in them
>At least she could appreciate your sarcasm.
>You were a few feet apart now.
>She was staring into your eyes, not an angry stare, but a cold one.
>"What will you do with this information then?"
>That question sounded like a test to you.
>You keep staring at her in silence.
>If she was gonna pull that crap then she was gonna sweat it out for a bit.
>"Nothing." you say flatly.
>"Nothing?" she looked a bit taken aback.
>"From what I understand, you're over a millennium old. To think that you've gone without for this entire time is idiotic. That guard seemed consenting, thought I doubt he is the only one."
>You keep staring, your expression changing to one of slight boredom.
>"Still, you seem on the level. I also owe you a debt for letting Anon and I stay in your kingdom. I have no problem keeping my mouth shut."
>Her eyes widened but she kept her grin.
>"Well then we have an accord. Shall we return to the throne room?" she asks.
>You step aside and extend your hands down the hall.
>"Lead the way Princess."

>You walked next to the princess for a ways until she spoke up again.
>"Your demeanor strikes me as odd, Mous. Many ponies would try to keep the fact that they heard what you heard hidden." she asked, not looking at you.
>You keep walking.
>You weren't going to make eye contact if she wasn't.
>"I'm an odd kind of guy."
>"Odd enough to try and sneak a knife into the home of royalty?" she asked.
>Shit. She knew about that? Okay play it cool.
>"I didn't know you then and I had to watch out for myself and Anon. If I had known what I know about you now, I probably wouldn't have bothered."
>She looked at you with a devious grin. "Why Mous, whatever do you mean by that?"
>"You're kind. At least to the people you've never met."
>She chuckled. "I'm rather kind to those I have met too."
>Keep it deadpan.
>"I've noticed."
>You keep walking, letting that bit of innuendo die.
>"But suicidal overconfidence isn't the only reason I'm odd."
>"How so?" she asks playfully.
>"Oh, I'm sure you'll find out Princess. I don't exactly hide it."
>She nodded as you both kept walking.
>Eventually, you reached the throne room from the same entrance as Celestia came into earlier.
>She stopped you before you walked in.
>"You are quite a unique individual Mous." She asked through lidded eyes. "I have one more question if you'll allow it."
>Shit. You'll bite.
>"Shoot."
>She leans close and whispers in your ear.
>"Do you like bananas?"
>You're almost certain that statement has some meaning, but damned if you can figure it out.
>Oh well, when in doubt, play it off.
>You put on your best mock offended face and look her in the eye.
>"Why Princess, I certainly hope that you aren't implying that I enjoy bananas simply because my kind evolved from monkeys. I would think such speciesism above you"
>You start to walk away and leave her there before stopping.
>You look at her over your shoulder with a grin.
>"Besides, bananas are gross."
>With that you keep walking.
>You can feel her own grin on your back.
>You ignore it.
>You catch Anon's attention and he approaches you.
>"Where'd you go dude? I couldn't see you out the window."
>No reason he should know what you saw.
>"I got a little sidetracked in a hallway and got lost, the Princess found me and was kind enough to walk me back." 
>He looks over your shoulder and makes a face.
>"That Princess?" he asks.
>You look over your shoulder and see Celestia staring and grinning.
>If she's trying to rustle your jimmies, it isn't working.
>"That's the one." you turn back to Anon.
>Anon takes his eyes of Celestia and shakes his head.
>"Well, let's go. The train leaves in twenty minutes." he says.
>"Right. Let's roll."
>As you and your friends both old and new walk out, you hear the princess call out to you.
>"Goodbye everyone, feel free to come back whenever you please."
>You could find something sinister in that phrase if you looked.
>Fuck that, it's late and you've had a hell of a day.

=BiE 3.5=

>This train ride was considerably quieter then the one from before.
>Everyone seemed tired after the events of the day.
>The only ones awake were you, Anon, Twilight and Rainbow Dash.
>Damn but this scenery was boring.
>Even worse then the first ride up here, you couldn’t see a damn thing.
>Probably something to do with it being night.
>Well, almost couldn’t see a damn thing
>You could see stars.
>You have to hand it to Luna.
>She made her night sky damned impressive.
>You could never hope to see a view like this back home.
>Even with Canterlot off in the distance, the stars were shining bright.
>You couldn’t begin to count them all.

>Twilight snuck up on the two of you, interrupting your train of thought.
>Hehe. “Train of thought.”
>”Have the two of you put any thought into where you were going to say?” she asked.
>Huh?
>Was the apartment not good enough?
>”Is our apartment not good enough?” Anon retorted.
>That was why he was your bro.
>”Well, I guess it could.” She said.
>Her face was contorting, she looked doubtful.
>”But didn’t you say that your house was damaged? Are you sure you want to stay there?”
>Damn. You forgot about that yourself.
>You put your hand on the window.
>Shit. It was Hoth cold outside.
>You did not want to stay in a house without heat when it was like this outside.
>”I guess you’re right…” Anon sighed out.
>Fuck. This was not good.
>Living on another planet was one thing.
>Living on one with no house was another.

>”Hey! You guys can crash I my place if you want.”
>Huh? 
>You look behind your seat.
>Rainbow Dash was listening in.
>”Having some guests for a while might be cool.” She said.
>This girl only just met you and was already offering her house to you.
>That was serious bro material.
>Twilight spoke up.
>”That isn’t going to work Rainbow. “
>Everyone turns to Twilight.
>”These two can’t walk on clouds like you can and they’re both immune to magic so we can’t exactly try a cloud walking spell.”
>Oh yeah. You had magic immunity.
>You haven’t had it for a day and it’s already biting you in the ass.
>Well shit.
>”So what do we do now?”
>Twilight puts a hoof to her chin and thinks.
>”Well, I suppose you can stay in the Library until we can get your home fixed up.”
>Worked for you.
>You turned to Anon.
>”You game?”
>He nodded at you.
>”Beggars can’t be choosers, we don’t have much of a choice.”
>He had a point there.
>Twilight perked up.
>”Perfect. You two will stay with me tonight.” She said with a grin.

>After stepping of the train, you, Anon and Twilight said your goodbyes to the others and made way for her house.
>You picked up some “dinner” at a bakery on the way.
>Had to keep your energy up.
>Twilight levitated the two of you some pillows and blankets as she prepared to take a sleeping Spike up to bed.
>She looked sheepishly at you.
>”I don’t have any extra beds in your size. Sorry…”
>”You’ve done more then enough letting us sleep here, Twilight. We can tough it out for a night.”
>That seemed to cheer her up. She smiled as she walked up stairs.
>”Goodnight you two.” She called out.
>”G’night.” You both said.
>You and Anon lay down on the hardwood floor as Twilight turns out the lights.
>It was quiet here.
>Deafeningly quite.
>Damn your tinnitus.
>As you lie there, you have a thought.
>”Hey, dude.”
>”What’s up?” You hear Anon ask in the darkness.
>”…you think our families noticed what happened?”
>You hear him sigh.
>He probably thought of that, he had more family members then you did.
>”I don’t know man, probably. It’s not like an apartment disappearing into thin air is common or anything.”
>You lay there for a moment.
>”It’s just, we could be here for a while.”

>Your mom was probably worried sick if she had heard.
>Assuming she wasn’t raising hell trying to find you.
>You hear him shift on the hardwood.
>“…yeah. We could.”
>You both lay there in silent.
>Well shit, this mood went sour quick.
>Have to salvage it at least a little bit.
>”Still, might as well make the best of it. If we fix up the apartment then we can at least be comfortable until Celestia comes up with something.”
>”Yeah, you’re right there.” You hear him say.
>As you lay there, you hear him yawn. 
>The events of the day must be catching up to him.
>Inter-dimensional travel must take it out of a guy.
>”Night bro.”
>”Goodnight, dude.” He says, yawning again.
>You lay on the hard floor for a bit longer.
>Eventually Anon’s snoring lulls you to sleep.

=BiE 4=

>Wake up in the morning.
>Feeling kinda shitty.
>You pick yourself up as you try and stretch your protesting muscles out.
>You turn to see Mous sprawled out on the ground, his mouth open in a silent snore.
>The sound of hooves descending stairs catches your attention and you turn around to see Twilight walking down stairs with Spike following her, the little guy still looked exhausted. With one look at Mous she turns to you and whispers "Does he always sleep like this?
>You chuckle as you start to rise. "Yeah, he'll be fine. We just need to get him up." you say as you take a few steps towards Mous's head.
>Twilight walks up besides you and gets a closer look at your comatose friend. "Will that be hard?" she asked. With a smirk you answer back "Not in the least."
>You crouch down to a couple feet from Mous's face and snap your fingers. "Hey, wake up dude. We have to get to work." you say, adding a bit more volume to your voice than normal.
>Mous's eyelids shoot open as he darts his eyes back and forth around the room. In a second they've settled on you and Twilight staring at him.
>"Yeah. I'm up." he grunts as he stands up rubbing his head.
>Twilight notices the haggard state the two of you are in from sleeping on the floor. "I'm sorry about the sleeping condition, I know it couldn't have been the best..."
>Oh no don't get sad. "It's fine Twilight, the pillows and blankets help a lot. Right Mous?"
>With a yawn his gaze drops to your miniature host."...yeah. Thanks for those." Even Mous knows not to be grumpy to someone who let you sleep in her house before fixing up your own, even at this hour..
>Placated, Twilight magic'ed over some sort of bag and placed it on her back before she lead the two of you out of her home. You can actually appreciate her house in the daylight, a hollowed out tree with balconies and windows. It felt like something you would see at a theme park.

>As you walk after Twilight, she asks if either of you are hungry. The both of you having not eaten since you arrive, you heartily agree. She takes you both two a building that looks like a gingerbread house, even the icing on top looks like it could be eaten.
>The first thing you notice when you walk in is the difference in size. Twilight was able to walk in with ease, but Mous and you were both almost scraping the ceiling.
>The second thing you noticed was the presence of a pair of small ponies sitting at a small table off to the side. They looked like they were playing with some small toys on the table, but right now they were intently looking at the two giants who walked into their home.
>Or rather, one giant in particular. You looked over your shoulder and saw Mous making silly faces to the young foals. The foals giggled at Mous's antics and he took a few steps closer and knelt down.
>You left them to each other's company and turned to Twilight, she was watching the same scene you were. "Mous didn't seem like the kind of guy to get along with babies." she whispered.
>"He probably just wants to be make friends with somebody who won't beat him in an argument." you say.
>"Somepony." Twilight said in a matter of fact tone.
>"What?" what was she talking about?
>"I've never heard anyone say "somebody", everyone in Equestria says somepony." 
>Huh. You guess that makes sense, different vernacular and all.

>Just then, a familiar pink Pony came out to the counter.
>"Hey guys! Are you here for your welcome party?" Pinkie asked with a mile wide grin.
>"Not this time Pinkie, they're just here to grab some food before they start fixing their house" Twilight answered for you.
>"Great! What'll it be?" Pinkie asked you. You looked at some of the food in the display, they were all cakes and sweets and other assorted confections. They all looked delicious, but they didn't look like something you wanted for breakfast before a day of work. You eventually settle on some bagels.
>You hear Mous walk up behind you from playing with the babies, he ordered some sweetbread.
>"Great! That'll be 10 bits." Pinkie says. 
>Shit, you had no Equestrian money. Your face fell as you realized you might have to work without food in you. "Uh..."
>"Oh, that reminds me." Twilight said as she levitated to small pouches to the two of you. "The Princess sent that over last night, each of you have 50 bits to spend until you get on your feet."
>Wow. These princesses we really understanding to your who-why is he smelling his pouch?
>You turn to stare at Mous, his nose still have in his new wallet. "Dude, what the hell are you doing?"
>He removes his nose but keeps staring at the pouch"...mine smells like bananas." was the only explanation you got. You both paid for your food and followed Twilight outside, her leading you down the road to your house.
>When you weren't being rushed, you noticed that most of the other ponies in the town were staring at you. Thankfully, most of them only looked curious as opposed to cautious. One mint green pony even looked ecstatic when she saw you. You chalked it up to this town being a bit less high profile then Canterlot.
>That reminded you, you still didn't know what this town was called. "Hey Twilight, what's this town's name anyway?" you asked. 
>She looked up to you and smiled "Our towns name is Ponyville, governed by Mayor Mare." 
>Ponyville and Mayor Mare.
>Definitely less high profile.

>You had both finished your food by the time you saw your house. From here you could see the scorch marks Twilight was talking about, they weren't big, but they definitely made it look like your house had been through a lot when you came here.
>The three of you quickly decide on a triage system; make the house livable again and worry about the rest of the mess later.
>You and Mous stepped inside to start the task of cleaning the mess your rooms were in as Twilight started to work on getting you power outside.
>Your room wasn't bad, only a single lamp had broken and most of the room was simply disheveled.
>Mous's room on the other hand was an entirely different matter, each of the hundreds of little models kept around the room had been thrown on the floor, making it a sea of pissed off looking yellow figurines.
>You stepped back into your room and started straightening up, the mattress was righted first, followed by sweeping the broken lamp up. you would probably need a place to put anything that was broken. 
>Spying a moving blanket that was perfect for your plan, you yell back to Mous. "Hey, anything that's broken goes on the blanket out front." you hear things crashing to the ground followed by a "Got it." from the room in back.
>You worked for a few hours before you saw a rainbow streak moving across the sky from your window. The streak stopped a dozen yards out to reveal none other than Rainbow Dash, you open the window to speak with her. "Stopping by to lend a hoof?"
>She flew closer and peeked in the through the window "It looks like you need it dude, you guys didn't say your house got messed up so bad on the inside too." she said as she look around your still messy room.
>"You should see what Mous has on his plate." you say. "Here, give me a hand with this if you're gonna help." you say as you grab your fallen curtain rod.

>The curtains go up quickly with the help of someone who can fly on giving you a hand, she even helps you carry a collection of splintered wood from furniture collisions out to the tarp.
>On your way out, you catch Mous carrying a long wood tube down the hallway. "What the hell is that, dude?" you ask.
>He looks up at it and then back to you "A didgeridoo." he says as he looks back at the two of you.
>"Why do we own a didgeridoo?"
>He lowers the instrument and stares at it for a moment. "I...don't know. It fell out of my closet."
>"Why are you taking it outside?" you ask.
>"I don't want it, maybe we can sell the thing." he had a point, you both were gonna need money if you were going to stay here.
>After you finish in your room, Rainbow and you start working on the living room. Rainbow seemed particularly interested in your television.
>"You guys have TV here?" you ask, trying to snap her out of the trance she was in.
>She flies around inspecting it "Yeah, but nowhere near this big." she replied in awe.
>You were both interrupted by Twilight entering the room. "Okay, you guys should have power and water now." she said  with a grin.
>You grab the remote and switch on the television, you're relived to see that it turns on, even if it only showed static. You would have to look into whether ponies had cable or not.

>The works goes quickly with the addition of Twilight's magic, by nightfall the entire apartment is looking good as new. It still stuck out like a sore thumb, however. You drag the tarp of junk inside, you'll see if you can do something with it tomorrow.
>You and Mous thank Twilight for everything she had done for you as she heads off for the night. Rainbow Dash was hovering in your living room near your DVD shelf.

>"So this is what kind of movies they had where you guys came from, huh?" she said as she eyed your collection. Sat down on your couch as she scanned the contents of the shelf. "Yep, a few of them anyway." you say.
>Rainbow stops and pulls one out to look at, a smile growing on her face. "Hey, wanna watch one?" she asks as she holds up the case.
>You take a look at her choice. The room.
>Great...
>You turn your head to Mous "Movie night?".
>Mous walks into the kitchen and returns with junk food and booze "Movie night." he answers as he sits down next to you.
>And so ends your second night on a strange new world, watching movies with your newest friend and your oldest and laughing the night away.

=BiE 5=

>The sun wakes rouses you from the sleep you were so nicely enjoying.
>Stupid sun, always ruining your fun.
>You were enjoying that dream too.
>You think.
>You roll out of bed and start your morning routine.
>As you shuffle your way to the kitchen, you notice that Anon and Rainbow are still passed out on the couch.
>Looks like they kept going a few hours after you turned in.
>You examine the myriad of bottles around their bodies.
>Looks like the went through the last of your booze too.
>Inside the kitchen you begin the task of finding any food from Earth that didn't go bad in the night you didn't have power.
>Considering the food you normally kept, you had options.
>You settle on some cereal as you try to plan your day.
>brain.exe cannot run, would you like to reboot? Y/N.
>[N].
 >You were never any good in the morning.

>Shower comes after breakfast in the morning so you strip down and step in.
>Twilight did a great job with whatever magic she had going to keep your plumbing working.
>This water was the perfect temperature.
>The warm shower gets your blood pumping, allowing you to think more than a minute ahead.
>First order of business was finding work, fifty bits wasn't going to tide you over long. 
>Especially if drinking with Rainbow Dash was going to be a regular thing.
>You step out of the shower and find quite possibly the only plain shirt you own.
>You glance at the clock; 9:30.
>Assuming that Equestria has 24 hour days, the business day has already started.
>Better get crackin'

>You step out your door and make way for town.
>Town was quite a distance away, about 3/4's of a mile if your admittedly shit internal GPS is right.
>As you step in to town, you notice that there aren't as many ponies staring at you.
>A few here and there, but the majority of the town seem to just be ignoring you.
>You figure that they either stopped caring, or assumed that the two weird ape creatures would be coming through more often.
>Either way it was nice, to not be gawked at.
>You find a town hall-ish looking building and look for a communal sign or something similar.
>Help wanted signs were always posted next to town hall.
>Right?

>Wrong, not a single help wanted sign near town hall.
>"Oh fuck me."
>Okay, plan B.
>Hit the streets.
>As you wonder around town, you see several potential places you could work.
>You start going through a mental checklist to figure out the best.
>You don't know much about cooking something that is more in depth than "boil the water", so Sugarcube Corner is out.
>You see an orchard or something over the hills that would be sure to need more farmhands, but one look at your spindly arms tells you that you probably wouldn't hit that out of the park.
>You have also zero interest in either quills or sofas.
>What in the hell did those even have to do with each other?
>You look at the clock and see that it is already past 10.
>Fuck. You were running short on both time and options.

>In the middle of your episode, you heard a pair of familiar voices. 
>You glance down the road and see Fluttershy and Rarity approaching.
>Rarity seemed to see you too.
>"Why hello there Mous, how lovely to see you."
>"H-hello Mous." muttered Fluttershy.
>Was this how she normally talks?
>Girl needs to speak up.
>"Hey girls."
>No time for friends, busy getting mad at lack of work.
>"What are you doing in town today Mous?" Rarity again.
>It would be easy to ignore them, but now wasn't the time to alienate people.
>You give them both a glance, they demanding more of your attention now.
>"Looking for work. Anon and I are going to need a steady income if we're gonna stay here."
>You look them over, their coats look shinier and both their manes look like they'd been gone over recently.
>"What are you two doing here?"
>Fluttershy gave you a smile.
>Daaaaaw-no. Still annoyed at the lack of work. No time for cute.
>"Oh we just got back from our weekly spa treatment, we go every week as a time to relax."
>These ponies had a spa?
>Wait.
>Spa.
>Spa's have masseurs. 
>You remember that of the eight people who allowed you to touch them back on Earth, at least five commented on how good of a backrub you gave.
>Considering that only one was related to you, that's a 50% chance you give a good backrub.
>Hell, that's 50% more ability than you had in anything else.
>You turn your attention back to your friends.
>"Where is the spa?" you ask.
>Rarity looks behind her.
>"Down that road and left at the first corner, you can't miss it."
>She turns back to you but you're already gone.
>"Thanks girls." you call back behind you.

>The spa looked simple enough on the outside.
>A few plants, glass door. All the better to relax someone.
>You step inside.
>It smells like incense in here, it would be relaxing at another time.
>The front desk is empty save for a bell. You drop a hand on it to call for someone.
>From the back walk two earth ponies, one with a blue coat and pink mane and the other with a blue mane and pink coat.
>Twins than.
>"Hello? Can't we help you?"
>What kind of accent was that?
>It sounded Slavic.
>You remember that Slavic kid from school.
>By the Force, he was a douche.
>Getting distracted, back on task mister.
>Okay you have to be nice, use your words and remember to-
>"I'd like to be a masseur here."
>Fucking. Shit.

>The pink one giggles.
>She and her sister walk up to the counter.
>"You want to work here? Perhaps we should start with your name."
>Fair enough.
>"I'm Mous." 
>"Hello Mous, I am Aloe and this is Lotus." she says with a grin.
>Aloe: Pink
>Lotus: Blue.
>Remember that now.
>Now Lotus speaks up.
>"So, what makes you think you can work here?"
>Not letting you fuck this up this time brain.
>Gotta think this through.
>...
>Shit.
>Saying you give good backrubs is a garbage reason.
>Thinkthinkthinkthink.
>Wait.
>You're an alien.
>You have digits.

>"These."
>You hold up your hands.
>"Yes, you have hands. So?"
>Lotus was clearly not one to be easily impressed.
>"Just that. I have hands that end in fingers. Fingers that can spread out pressure much differently than hooves."
>She steps out from behind the counter towards you.
>"And different is good?"
>Think fast.
>"Different is great." you say.
>"Especially for all the different kinds of pain one comes to a spa to get rid of."
>Nice save genius.
>Lotus narrows her eyes and stares at you.
>After a moment, she turns around.
>"Massage my neck."
>wat.
>"Excuse me?"
>She looks back at you with those same narrow eyes.
>"This is your entrance exam, impress me and you may have the job."
>You quickly glance at Aloe behind the counter.
>She looks like she's trying not to laugh as she motions for you to go on.
>Fuck. Okay. You can do this.
>You place your hands just below her ears and start rubbing.
>You try to feel for any obvious knots as you move down.
>If you're doing a good job, Lotus wasn't showing it.
>She stood as still as stone as you worked your way down to the base of her neck.
>After a few minutes she motions for you to stop and walks back to her sister.
>She turns with her eyes still close.
>You can see her eyes darting back and forth under her eyelids.
>Fuck you were so screwed.
>You were going to have to go learn how to cook or somt-
>"You pass."

>Wait what?
>Your face must have betrayed you.
>"You were right, your hands can spread pressure to all the right areas. A little practice and we'll make you a proper masseur." you even get a smile out of her with that.
>Oh hell yes.
>You grow a big grin and pump your fist.
>First big hurdle was jumped, now you just need to-
>"Head back and wash up, it's almost noon."
>It was Lotus again.
>"I start now?"
>Lotus looked as pokerfaced as she did before.
>"Yes. Here in Ponyville, we get an influx of customers round lunch, ponies doing a lunch and spa date, probably."
>Right. Okay. Time to work.
>You start to walk back and Aloe motions for you to follow her.
>She takes you to a small room with a massage bed in the center.
>Various oils and lotions were on the wall.
>You turn your attention to her as she speaks.
>"Your job won't be all massages, we each do a bit of everything here. But we'll start you off with what your comfortable with."
>Okay cool.
>She motions to the oil shelf.
>"You know what to do with those?"
>Not really, but you nod anyway.
>"Great. Welcome to Ponyville Day Spa." she says with a smile.
>On her way out she turns.
>"Your first costumer will be back soon, good luck."
>"Yeah..." you thought as your situation dawned on you.
>"Good luck."

=BiE 6=

>About ten minutes after Aloe left, your first customer entered.
>She stopped in the doorway as she caught sight of you.
>She was an earth pony. She had a cream colored coat with a rich magenta mane. There was a rose on her backside.
>She looked a bit nervous.
>Okay, gotta relax her. 
>Break out the charm.
>"Hello, my name is Mous and I'm going to be your masseur today. Feel free to lay down on the bed whenever you're ready."
>C'mon, nice smile.
>She seemed to relax a bit and started walking towards the bed.
>You heard her hop up and lay down as you washed up at the sink in the rear of the room.
>"Is there anywhere you would like particular attention be paid to miss...?"
>Might as well see if there's anywhere that you could take care of quick.
>Anything to make this as simple as possible.
>"Roseluck." she says. "And right above my haunches has been killing my lately."
>Okay. Haunches. 
>The fuck are haunches?
>You do a quick run through of all your anatomical knowledge for the closest approximation.
>If you had to guess...
>Lower back?
>You glance up at the shelf of lotions as you think.
>You were probably supposed to use these.
>Scanning over them, you see one marked "coconut".
>Good enough.
>You spread some lotion on your hands and get to work on your first customer.
>Moment of truth...

>For all your guesswork, you are rewarded with a content sigh as you start rubbing.
>You try and alternate what sides you work on to similar results.
>Are you supposed to talk during this?
>Worth a shot.
>"Yeah, I can feel a lot of tension back here."
>Liar.
>"If you don't mind my asking, what is it you do Roseluck?"
>Getting chummy with the customer? Ballsy.
>She lets out another sigh.
>"I work with my friends selling flowers, we've been rearranging our shop lately so there's been a lot of heavy lifting."
>Okay that makes sense.
>You try and think of where a pony would carry things on their back and focus your attention there, also making sure to get her legs and hoofs.
>Conversation flows as freely as it can. Roseluck tells you about her business, her friends, and how she got her "cutie mark". The tattoo on her calf.
>For your part, you explain how you got here; Anon, fall through that white void, landing on the outskirts of town and your visit with royalty.
>You left out to part about Celestia's little meeting in the lower area near the garden.
>You also didn't tell her about when she was talking to that guard.
>Hey-oh.

>As time passes on, you start to wonder how long this is supposed to last.
>You've never had a massage before, your frame of reference is quite lacking.
 >Okay. The spa probably opens around 8. You ran into Rarity and Fluttershy just past 10.
>They looked like they got more than just a massage so...
>An hour?
>You heard the pitter patter of hooves coming from the hall. 
>The sound gets close and you see Aloe walk by the door.
>Oh thank god it's Aloe, you can work with that.
>She peeks in to see how you're doing and you quietly mouth "How much longer?" as best you can.
>She motions that you should be wrapping up before heading on her way.
>You make your way back to Roseluck's haunches as you finish up.
>You want to end this on a high note.
>"Okay miss Roseluck, I've done my best. How are you feeling?"
>She rises from the bed.
>She has a far off look in her eye.
>"You are very good with those hands of yours Mister Mous. I'll definitely have to come back here." she says as she walks out of the room.
>"Tell your friends." you say, trying to be witty.
>Alone in the room again, you revel in your small victory as you try to purge the smell of coconut from the room.
>You aren't using coconut again for a while.

>You have two more customers that day.
>The first is some unbelievably large pegasus with a white coat.
>You're amazed the guy didn't break the fucking bed.
>At least you know that ponies have steroids now.
>Your last customer of the day is a unicorn with a dark blue coat and mane that can only be described as "fabulous".
>His only other discerning feature is the fact that his horn seems to be half again as long as other unicorns.
>You tried to stay away from his horn, experience has taught you that if something looks that Freudian, you shouldn't touch it.

>After your customers had gone and you were cleaning the putrid potpourri of stenches you had amassed in your room over the day, you heard what sounded like shouting coming from the front of the store.
>You went to investigate.
>The sounds were indeed shouting, they got more distinct as you got closer.
>"-all know what goes on here!" came an angry male voice.
>It kinda reminded you of Spider-man's boss at the newspaper.
>"And what, pray tell, goes on here Mr. Whistleblower?"
>That'd be Lotus.
>"You know very well what goes on here! You and that sister of yours have set up a den of ill repute in our fair town!" came the gruff voice again.
>As you walk into the front room, you see the scene at hand.
>Aloe and Lotus were behind the counter trying to talk down a group of three ponies, a grey pegasus and orange unicorn flanked a brown earth pony in front of them.
>An Earth Pony you could only assume was this Whistleblower guy.
>"Aloe, Lotus, is this guy refusing to pay?" you ask.
>That rustled his jimmies something fierce.
>"I have never set foot in this horrid establishment until today! And I will not be insulted by a monster!" he all but hollered at you. 
>Monster? That almost annoyed you.
>"Sir, what is it that you think we actually do in this "horrid establishment" that has your balls so bunched up?"
>He didn't like that, you get the feeling he doesn't like much.
>"Is this how your employees talk to ponies here!?" his face was getting red.
>He mad.

>"It is when those ponies insult those who work here." you say as you take a few steps toward him.
>To his credit, he doesn't back down.
>"And I asked you a question." you spit at him.
>Remembering your question, he looks you straight in the eye.
>"It is quite obvious that this "day spa" is a front for these to harlots to ply their vile trade in my town! I refuse to stand for that when there are children here!"
>Insulting your cool bosses? No deal.
>"Hey, leave them out of this. It's not their fault that they can do their job well enough to make people feel good." you say.
>You kneel down a bit and get right in his face.
>"And I wouldn't be so quick to judge if my job were "blowing whistles" champ." you make sure to add finger quotes to that.
>Finger quotes piss everybody off.
>It takes him a minute to get your innuendo, but when he does his scowl gets so big you swear he's going to crack his own teeth.
>"How can you not see what is going on here?!" he shouts "The region those two come from is a haven for deviants who would run such a disgusting service! These two are probably laying with each other every night to prepare themselves for their customer!" this poor idiot doesn't hear how stupid he sounds.
>You were about to counter with a particularly scathing insult about his mother, but Lotus speaks before you get a chance to.
>"What my sister and I do is strictly between us Mr. Whistleblower." she says with a stern face.
>"...and anyone we allow to watch." 
>Oh god your sides, it takes ever ounce of your willpower to keep your composure.
>A boss who is not only cool enough to hire you rude ass, but has balls big enough to make a joke about fucking her sister while some prick is yelling at her? 
>Now you didn't just want to work here, you needed to work here.

>Aloe can't contain herself and continues a giggling fit behind the counter.
>Whistleblower, apparently not understanding heavy sarcasm, gets positively lucid.
>"You admit it! I'll have this place closed! I'll have it torn down and the earth underneath paved over!" 
>He continues to rant and rave, you give a glance back to Lotus as she shakes her head.
>Not in the mood for any more of this crap, you grab Whistleblower by the mane and start dragging him towards the door.
>"What are you doing! Let go of me!" he's trying to wriggle out of your grip while his flunkies just stare.
>You toss him out the front door and his henchmen follow to help him up.
>They all stare at you.
>"Mister Whistleblower, you have convinced me. Now you go away and go grab the authorities while I keep this hive of scum and villainy secure."
>"This isn't over!" he shouts. "I will not stop until thi-"
>You shut the door and his squawking stops.
>The three of you simply enjoy the silence for a moment as that pain in the ass is gone.
>Lotus looks at you with a small smile.
>"Thank you Mous, that was very kind of you to stick up for us." she say.
>"Yeah, *snrk!* thanks!" Aloe says as she tries to settle her laughter. 
>"It was a pleasure." you say. "If we're set for the day, I'm going to head out."
>Lotus nods at you. "Of course Mous. Be here by 8:00 tomorrow morning for the day shift."
>"Yes Ma'am." you say as you make way for the back door.
>You stop as you're about to step out and turn to your bosses.
>"You guys aren't really running this place as a front for a brothel, are you?"
>Lotus doesn't meet your eyes as she goes over a schedule "Not since moving here."
>She gives you a wink, prematurely settling your jimmies.
>With a laugh you step out the back door and begin the walk home.

>The sun is low on the horizon as you walk.
>The wind blows the trees and you hear a symphony of leaves brush against each other.
>It was really nice here, much better then where your apartment used to sit.
>At least it doesn't smell like gas.
>"Hey, Mous!" you hear from behind you.
>To your surprise, Anon and Rainbow Dash come racing up to you carrying bags.
>"Where've you been man? You were gone when we woke up." he asks
>"You two lightweights crashed on the couch last night and were still out when I left. I went into town and got a job at the day spa." you smirk at him.
>Rainbow looks puzzled.
>"I dunno man, I heard that place was a front for some shady stuff." she says as she hovers at eye level.
>You chuckle at the events of the day.
>"It's not, don't worry. But you aren't the only one to think that."
>"That's awesome man, I'll find a job in town tomorrow." Anon says
>Your bro looks at you and holds up the bags he's carrying.
>"Rainbro and I sold that bunch of crap we had on the tarp and used the money to replace all the booze we drank. We got a whole twenty bits for your stupid didgeridoo. We were thinking movie night again tonight?" he says with a smile.
>Dammit, it wasn't your didgeridoo. You don't know how it got there.
>But that wasn't important.
>"Rainbro?" you ask.
>He looks at her and smiles."Yeah man, she helped fix the house and help get rid of all the crap without even asking. Add that in with the fun we had last night and I'd say it's bro material."
>Your first Equestria bro?
>You're game. 
>The more bros the better.
>You smile and look at your bros."I'm down for movies, but I'm not watching The fucking Room again."
>Anon laughs. "That's cool man, we can find something else."
>"Something Else" wound up being some movie where Vin Deisel had to babysit some fucking kids.
>Next time, you pick the movie.

=BiE 7=

>The morning light seeps in through the curtains. Something about Celestia's sun seems to make curtains a futile gesture.
>You regain consciousness to the sound of someone rummaging around in the kitchen, either Rainbro or Mous but you can't care right now.
>Your body isn't used to Equestrian booze yet, it seems. This hangover was much more fierce then the ones you got on Earth.
>The sounds in the kitchen stopped and were replaced by the sound of paper turning.
>What? Paper?
>Your interest piqued, you open your eyes to see Mous sitting at the table skimming over a book, a bowl of cereal in front of him and a glass of water next to it.
>"Breakfast of champions?" you ask still drowsy.
>Noticing you're now awake, his eyes turn to you. "This is the only food in the house that hasn't gone bad from the lack of power. Or at least the only kind I would want to eat for breakfast. he says.
>"I even have to settle for this Gorilla Munch crap we bought because I'm afraid opening a box of Apple Jacks will tear a hole in the universe or something." he says.
>You chuckle and crawl off the couch. As you crack your joints you make a promise to actually sleep in a proper bed tonight.

>"Do me a favor, grab some real food while you're with Twilight today." Mous says.
>Twilight? huh? "What's she want?" you ask.
>"She invited us both on a tour of the town when I picked up this book earlier today. She's been doing a bunch of research into us since we got here and apparently decided that today was a day to learn about how we interact socially." Social interaction, huh? You guess that could be interesting, you never considered yourself the life of a conversation but you'd give it a shot.
>Wait, "earlier today"? What time was it? You glance at the clock to see that it's still 7:30.
>"She opens the library at dawn?" you ask.
>Mous turns away from his bowl with a look the says he was on the same train of thought you were on now. "She said she was doing some research on the stars or something and lost track of time, she was about to turn in when I got there."
>"Why were you even there at dawn? What's in that book?" you ask
>He closes the book and hold it up to read the title. "Anatomical Studies of  Adult Equines." he said. "I picked it up for work, I'd like to know what I'm getting into before I accidentally feel somepony up or something."
>"Somepony?" you ask.
>He holds up his hands and shrugs "It's the proper grammar. Get with the vernacular, man." he teases. 
>You roll your eyes as you head to the shower.

>After you were showered and dressed, you walk out to the living room again, Mous had gone to work and left his big ass book behind. You open the book and look at a page. It seemed to be mostly studies of muscles and nerves, a good find for a guy who worked at a spa.
>A slight mumbling from your couch made you look over and see Rainbro still passed out from last night. 
>You figure that her size probably had something to do with it, small body means less booze before you were out.
>You walk over and shake her a bit "Hey, Rainbro, you still alive?" she starts to move on her own and eventually swats your hand away. 
>Rainbro stumbles off your couch and shakily stands. "Oh man, I feel like death. How much did I drink last night?" she asks.
>You look around, there are more than a few empty bottles on the floor, but a peek inside their bags show more left. At least you had less than your first night.
>"I don't remember you drinking that much, but two nights in a row with alien booze can't have helped." you say, trying to reassure her.
>You tell her what Mous told you, that Twilight wanted to take you on a tour of the town today. You asked her if she wanted to come along as well.
>"Yeah, man, sure." she takes a few steps to the door and almost falls, you move at your best Kenyan speed and are able to catch her before she crashes into something.
>"On second thought, you head to Twilight's, I'll meet you there after I grab something from my place." she says.
>"You sure? You're not in your best way here." you don't want her crashing into some building or something trying to get home.
>"Nah. It's cool, I fly better anyway, and the skies are supposed to be clear today." with that she steps out the front door and flies in an awkward pattern to the north.
>As Dash flies, you walk. Ponyville already in sight.

>As you made your way to Twilight's house, you learned one thing. The sun here hurts just as much with a hangover as the sun back on Earth.
>You reach the door. Do you just walk in? This was her house but it was also a library, a public place.
>After a moments deliberation you decide to walk in, as you do you call out. "Twilight? It's Anon, Mous said something about a tour?"
>"Oh, Anon! I'll be down in just a second."" you hear her call.
>You take that time to look around the room, there seemed to be even more books then there were the last time you were here.
>You hear Twilight descending the stairs and turn to greet her. She doesn't look too much worse for wear for someone who spent the entire night awake. She must do this often.
>You on the other hand, must look like shit judging from the look she's giving you. "Are you alright Anon? You look...haggard."
>You find a mirror on the wall. Shit, your hair is all fucked up and you've got bags under your bloodshot eyes. Equestrian booze must do worse to you then you though.
>You turn back to Twilight. "It's cool Twi, I just need to walk it off." She doesn't look very convinced and you can't say you are either.
>The door opens again and a familiar cyan pegasus walks in. Rainbro is looking much better after whatever she got from her place. If you weren't there, you would swear she hadn't been drinking at all.
>"Hey Rainbow, what are you doing here? Twilight asks.

>"I invited her Twi, we were hanging out last night and she heard about the tour when I did." Not entirely true, but you'd rather tell a white lie to Twilight then tell her that you both passed out on your couch after a night of binge drinking and Vin Deisel movies. "Is it cool if she tags along?" you ask.
>Twilight gives you both a smile as she makes for the door. "Of course, the more we have on the tour, the more we can tell you about the town." she says as she walks out.
>Before you follow, your turn to Rainbro. "Hey, what'd you grab from your house? You look way better than before we left." 
>Rainbro looks to her side and grows a tiny smile "Heh. Yeah..." she says before she turns back to uou and produces a small bottle with swirling colors inside. "This is liquid rainbow." she says. "We pegusi use it to clean out the rainbow factories in Cloudsdale, but it also works as a quick hangover cure." she holds the bottle to you.
>Well damn, that sounds awesome, but you're not too sure about drinking the pony equivalent of axle grease. You take the bottle in your hand and find it's warm to the touch.
>No, not warm...Spicy. 
>"Are you two coming?" you hear Twilight call. Shit, now or never. 
>"Is it safe?" you as her. Her eyes get a concerned look in them. "It's gonna feel weird, like a ride all its own, but you'll be safe." she says.
>You pull the top off the bottle and down it all at once. You look at Rainbow. "I don't feel an diff-"
>That's as far as you get before your skin starts to tingle, you feel an intense heat in your stomach and the rest of your organs feel like they're being sucked through a straw. The heat in your gut explodes and makes every blood vessel in your body feel like it has magma inside.
>Just as quick as it started, it's over. You're down on one knee as the feeling dies down. Rainbow comes over and helps you stand.
>As the feeling returns to your body, you notice that you feel a lot better. Your head is clear and your stomach has settled. A quick look in the mirror shows that your eyes have cleared up as well.
>From the corner of your eye, you see Twilight enter the library again. "Is everything alright in here?" she asks.
>You turn to her. "Yeah Twilight, we're ready. Lead the way."
>She turns and walks out the door as you prepare to meet the town that you'll be living in for the foreseeable future.

=BiE 8=

>Ponyville was a nice town, you found out.
>It had a perpetually busy feel, but also retained an air of coziness
>As the you, Twilight, Spike and Rainbow walked down Mane Street, you learned that the town had been founded a hundred years ago by a group of settler ponies.
>As you walk through town, you passed by the same building you saw Pinkie at while you were getting breakfast a few days ago. This time you read the sign "Sugarcube Corner" it said.
>The smell of baked good wafted through the air, your mouth was watering at the smell of the confections this store had insi-
>Your thoughts were interrupted by a mass of pink shooting out of a mailbox. "Hey Anon! are you here for your Welcome Party now?"
>You got your heart back into the appropriate rhythm after the samba it started beating a moment ago and turned your eyes to Pinkie. She had definitely shot out of a mailbox one sixth her size and tackled you to the ground.
>It seems Pinkie Pie can manipulate 4th dimensional space.
>Twilight approaches the two of you as you get yourself up. "Pinkie, have you been planning this party since Anon got here?" she asks.
>"Yep!" Pinkie beams."I've got snacks and punch and games and streamers." you have to nip this in the butt ASAP.
>"Pinkie."
>"And lights and music and I'll invite the whole town"
>"Pinkie."
>"And I've got a smoke machine and a disco ball and a-"
>"PINKIE."
>She stops talking for a moment and looks up at you. 
>"I'd be happy to go to your party." you say.
>Oh damn. Pinkie's smile grew three sizes that day, and that's saying something.
>She grabs your face and compresses it between her hooves. "Behereateight!" she says as she zips inside faster than you can comprehend.
>You turn to your friends "Is this normal for her?" you ask. Rainbow suppresses a laugh "It is for Pinkie Pie."

>You made a mental note to stop by the spa and tell Mous that you guys had a party tonight, he would probably complain.
>You come up on a building that looks like a merry-go-round on the edge of the town proper. "Who lives here?" you ask.
>Twilight turns to you as you walk "This is Rarity's boutique, she's Ponyville's authority on fashion and this is where she makes all of it." she says.
>Pony fashions, huh? Most of the ponies you saw seemed to walk around naked, but far be it from you to tell people what to do. "Can we go inside?" you ask. The concept of pony cloths intriguing you.
>You hear Rainbow scoff "No, Rarity had some big rush order in town. She's always neck deep in some project or something."
>Spike has remained quiet for most of your walk, but he turned to you both at that. "It's not Rarity's fault that she has a lot of work. Being Ponyville's most successful fashion designer would keep anyone busy, especially when they see what she designs."
>Rainbow had told you about Spike and his crush on Rarity one night while the two of you were drinking.
>Laying it on a little thick there buddy.

>You continue your tour, passing the post office, the market, and a store that specialized in quill pens and sofas. You had to remember to stop by the market for food later.
>The four of you eventually come up on the largest apple orchard you'd ever seen, hills went as far back as you could see and every one of them was covered in apple trees.
>You could guess who lived here.
>As you walk up to a large red barn, you spot a large red pony moving crates of apples from a nearby cart. Your party approached him and Twilight did the talking. 
>"Hey Big Macintosh, is Applejack here?" she asked.
>"Eeyup."
>"Great." Twilight said "Can you tell us where?"
>Big Macintosh remained silent, but pointed to a nearby part of the orchard. Twilight nodded her thanks and lead the rest of you down the path.
>You lean in to Rainbow "Not much of a talker, is he?" you ask. Rainbow elbows you and winks "It's all about what you say to him, he never shuts up if you can get him going." 
>Your footsteps through the apple orchard are punctuated by the occasional "THUMP" coming from behind the curtain of trees. You noticed that it got louder as you kept walking.
>You notice a certain tan pony rearing back and kicking the trees, dozens of apples rained down as she connected.
>Applejack was certainly good at that, it seemed, she had almost a half dozen baskets of apples sitting under a nearby tree. She see's all of you and canters toward you.
>"Howdy Ya'll, what're you guys doin' here?" she asks
>"I thought I'd show Anon here around the town." Twilight answers. You offer a slight wave to Applejack at mention of your name.
>She tilts her hat to you as she looks behind you. "Ah guess your friend didn't want to come?" she asks.
>"Sorry, no, Mous had work at the spa today." you say.
>"Spa huh?...Ah may have to stop by there sometime." she says as she walks back to her baaskets.
>She turns to the four of you "Say, while Ya'll are here, ya mind helpin' me get these apples back ta the barn?"
>You nod and start towards the baskets, grabbing one and seeing that it is lighter then you thought. Maybe you could get a job working the apple fields?

>The walk back to the barn proved longer then you thought, and the basket of apples you had seemed to gain 30 or 40 pounds along the way.
>Maybe you should look for a less physically challenging job.
>You wish you could be like Twilight, levitating four baskets of apples as if it were nothing. Applejack and Rainbow seemed to be having a much easier time as well.
>As you plant the baskets in front of the barn, Applejack approaches you again. "Thanks for the help Anon, ya ever need some work, you just stop on by.
>You're fairly certain your body would mutiny on you if you pulled something like that, but you thank Applejack for the offer and follow Twilight and Rainbow off the farm.
>"Where to now?" you ask.
>"Just one more stop." she says "We have to go see Fluttershy at her house."
>Fluttershy huh? You remembered Fluttershy, she seemed really nice.
>You remember she was staring at you an awful lot, too.

=BiE 9=

>Fluttershy seemed to live pretty far out of town, you've been walking for almost a half hour now. Most of the time is spent talking to Rainbow about your limited knowledge of sports from Earth.
>"So, wait, they play it with brooms?" she asks unbelieving. "On ice at that." you reply. She seems to get frustrated and puts her hooves to her head. "I don't get it! why don't they just your normal sticks?"
>You laugh at the ridiculousness of it all. "I have no idea." you tell her.
>Fluttershy's house was located near the forests edge, you saw a small stream flowing just in front of her house as your approached. The entire area reminded you of a Snow White.
>The four of you reach the front of the house and you knock on the door. "Oh. Be right there!" you think you hear from behind the door.
>Fluttershy opens the door "O-Oh, hello everyone. What are you all doing here?" was she looking at you when she said that last part? You must be imagining it. Right?
>Twilight answers for all present "We were just showing Anon around town." she says.
>Fluttershy seems to perk up and gives a smile. "Oh, well, please come in." You follow your friends inside. The house is a small cottage, assorted furniture is placed around the living area and you see a kitchen off to the right.
>Out from the kitchen came a small rabbit. The rabbit looked at Fluttershy and stomped it's foot repeatedly. "Oh, excuse me." Fluttershy said. "You can all take a seat, I just have to give Angel here his lunch."
>Your stomach mush have heard the word "lunch", if it raising hell all of a sudden had anything to do with it. 
>You just remembered that you neglected to grab anything before you left the house this morning.
>You'd just have to deal with it and stuff yourself at the party.

>Fluttershy returns from the kitchen and takes a seat on a nearby chair. The rest of you sitting on a couch across from her.
>Were her wings standing up like that before? Maybe Dash knew something about it, she seemed to be giving her a look. It was probably just a pegasus thing.
>"So Anon, how are you liking Ponyville so far?" Fluttershy asked you.
>"It's really nice here, I haven't met a lot of ponies, but everyone I have seems to be really nice. The area is beautiful as well."
>Fluttershy's cheeks darken a bit "I...I could help you meet ponies...if you want."
>"That's very nice of you Fluttershy, but Pinkie Pie is throwing Mous and I a party tonight. She said she's inviting the entire town as well, I figure I'll meet some ponies there."
>She looks a bit dejected at that.
>An awkward silence hangs in the air as you shift in your seat a bit
>You are about to say something when a chicken runs through the room.
>Wait, what?

>Your eyes are still fixed on the point where the errant chicken left the room.
>"Uh...did anyone else see tha-"
>Suddenly chickens.
>Chickens everywhere.
>No. Not just chickens, squirrels, rabbits, birds and everything between it seemed.
>After the animals have run their course, you start to gingerly put your feet back down as if the fear that placing them down to hard would spark another stampede.
>"What was that!?" Rainbow called out, head popping out from behind the far end of the couch. She must have fallen off when the animals came through.
>"Oh no!" Fluttershy yelled. "The animals must have escaped from their cages!" she looked close to tears.
>Ohgoddontcry.
>"It's Okay Fluttershy, we can find them." Twilight said jumping off the couch.
>She turns to the rest of you on the couch. "Rainbow Dash, you fly up and try and spot the animals from the sky." Rainbow jumps up and gives a salute before flying out a nearby window.
>"Anon, you and I will search for any anima-
>"Um. I'll go with Anon." you hear Fluttershy squeak out.
>You, Twilight, and Spike all turn to look at Fluttershy. "Uh...I mean...If he doesn't mind." Oh god is she about to cry again?
>"I don't mind." you hear yourself say. 
>"Alright then, Spike and I will take the front of the house while you and Fluttershy take the back." Twilight instructs.
>You follow Fluttershy out her back door and gaze at the dense forest before you.
>This was going to take a while, it seems.

>You and Fluttershy sift through the forest for a few hours.
>For your hard work, you were rewarded with finding a good amount of animals all clustered around a small lake.
>After you lead them back, Fluttershy tallied the results from all of your hunts.
>"Oh my goodness, Angel is still missing." she says.
>Angel; that rabbit you saw when you first came here.
>Damn. Finding a single rabbit in an entire forest was going to be hard.
>You all decide to slip up again, you and Fluttershy taking off into a slightly deeper part of the forest this time.
>Despite searching high and low, you couldn't find this elusive rabbit anywhere.
>You looked up at sun. It was getting dark, nightfall would make it twenty times harder to find this rabbit.
>"Oh! Anon, come look over here!" you heard Fluttershy call out.
>You found Fluttershy hovering over a small hole in the ground. Well, small for you, but roomy for a six inch rabbit.
>"You think he went in there?" you ask as you motion towards the hole.
>Fluttershy nods to you.
>"Alright then." you say.

>Doing the gentlemanly thing, you bend down and stick your hand in the hole to feel around...nothing. You try a bit deeper and still yield no prize.
>You start to crawl in the hole a bit to continue searching. You really hope this isn't some badgers nest or something equally inclined to maul you.
>You keep feeling around for Angel until you discover that you can go no further.
>Try as you might, you still can't seem to go any further. Defeated, you start to move back only to discover that you couldn't move that way either.
>Panic sets in as you violently throw yourself back and forth attempting to dislodge yourself to no avail.
>You were trapped.
>In a hole.
>In the middle of the woods.
>"Fuck."

>"Fluttershy!" you call out.
>...
>Nothing.
>"FLUTTERSHY!" you try again. You were not dying down here.
>This time you got a faint "Anon?" as a response.
>Crap. How deep were you?
>"FLUTTERSHY! I'M STUCK! CAN YOU PULL ME OUT?" you yell to her.
>You don't hear her yell back, but you can feel her start tugging on your pant leg.
>You do your best to wriggle your waste out, but the ball seems to be in Fluttershy's court for all the difference you're making.
>Fluttershy stops pulling and lets go of your leg for an instant, you almost call back to her when you feel her grab you again.
>But this wasn't your leg, this was a little higher up.
>Was Fluttershy copping a feel?
>You feel her let go again and you start to fear the worst.
>You really didn't want to think of Fluttershy as somepony who would cop a feel on someone and leave them to die in a hole.
>Just then you feel something grab your opposite leg and pull hard.
>Something else grabs your other leg and joins the first entity.
>The pulling seems to loosen you. You redouble your wriggling efforts and feel yourself start to break free of the dirt.
>You eventually break free and are thrown back out of the hole, landing on your back.
>You right yourself and are greeted to the sight of Rainbow Dash standing over you "Are you alright Anon?" she asked.
>"I'm fine Rainbow, what are you doing here?"
> "I saw Fluttershy trying to pry you out of this hole while I was looking for you both." she replied.
>Looking for you? "Why?"
>"We found Angel in Fluttershy's bedroom under her bed. I came out to find you two before it got dark."
>Whatabro.

>You, Rainbow and Fluttershy arrive back at the house, all of you rather caked in dirt.
>Twilight was herding the animals you all found back into their cages.
>You take a quick peek at the clock; 6:15. Shit, it was late.
>You excuse yourself from your friends and hurry back home to clean yourself off for this party.
>Your minds keeps going back to what happened in the hole; Fluttershy didn't seem like the type to try and feel you up in a dangerous situation.
>Fluttershy didn't seem like the type to feel you up at all.
>You push today's unpleasantness from your mind as you come up on your house.
>You step inside and head back to Mous's room, you knock and open the door to find him using the smallest paintbrush you've ever seen and a magnifying glass to on one of his models.
>"What are you doing?" you ask.
>"Painting purity seals." he responds.
>He glances up at you "What'd you do? Get in a fight?" he asks.
>"I got stuck in a hole helping Fluttershy find a lost pet." you say.
>Oh shit, the party.
>"Hey, finish up, we have a welcome party in about an hour." you tell him.
>He puts down his magnifier. "When was there a party scheduled?" he asks as he turns to you.
>"Earlier this morning, when Pinkie Pie jumped me."
>He rubs the bridge of his nose and sighs. "I really don't want to go to any party."
>"Oh, stop being a hermit. We're new here and it would do us some good to make a few friends."
>You hear him call back as you walk to your bathroom. "I HAVE friends."
>You get your shirt off and stick your head out the door. "You have two bosses, six friends you ignore, and me. You need more friends." you say as you shut the door.
>He'll go.

>One shower and change of clothes later, the two of you are walking the dark road from your house to Ponyville.
>"I still think this is dumb." Mous says with his hands in his pockets and a frown on his face.
>"You think everything is dumb." you retort.
>"And I have yet to be proven wrong in that regard." he defends.
>Sheesh. Mous was your best bro and all, but he could be a real downer sometimes.
>The two of you arrive at the hill overlooking Sugarcube corner to spot what looks like a small convention instead of a welcome party.
>"Huh." you say "I guess Pinkie wasn't kidding when she said she invited the hole town."
>Mous shoots you a scowl and starts towards the party.
>"Let's just get this over with." he says.
>You follow behind him with a chuckle, determined not to let his crap attitude ruin your fun.

=BiE 10=

>As you approached the party, you saw that the interior of the bakery seemed to be empty.
>The ponies clustered outside saw the two of you walking up and greeted you with waves and smiles.
>You saw a familiar pink mare poke her head out of a particularly large cluster and gallop over to the two of you. "Anon! Mous! You two got here just in time!" Pinkie hollers.
>You look around and the groups of ponies socializing, there had to be at least 30 out here alone. "I don't know Pinkie, it looks like we showed up pretty late." you say.
>"Don't be silly, Anon!" she says with a wide grin. "I had to make sure the party got going before the guests of honor showed up!" That was...an odd practice. But you weren't about to get in an argument at a party.
>Pinkie zipped to the back of the house, you followed and signaled Mous to do the same.
>"There better be something that qualifies as dinner here." he grunts.
>"It's a party." you explain. "At a bakery. Do you really think there won't be any food?"

>Pinkie leads the two of you to an open basement door.
>Inside you see flashing lights and ponies from wall to wall. There is a small clearing in the middle for those who were dancing. Off to the sides you see doorways that lead to smaller satellite rooms.
>You turn to Pinkie "Why the basement!?" you shout over the music. "Having the party down here means the Cakes don't hear it!" she shouts.
>The three of you walk down the stairs. There was a confections table set up in the corner next to a jukebox.
>You make your way over to the table and sample some of the punch. Damn, that punch had a hell of a kick.
>You turn to see Mous had followed you over. Dammit, he always does this. Following you because he doesn't want to talk to anyone. "Are you just gonna follow me all night?" you ask.
>"If I have to." he says with a shrug.
>Yeah, he wasn't gonna go on his own accord. Time for plan B.
>You had to ditch him.
>You looked for something you could use to slip away, not an easy task in a group of four foot tall ponies.
>You spot a game that looks a lot like Pin the Tail on the Donkey. Deciding that that was your best bet, you head over.
>You take a seat near the crowd, bringing you down to eye level with them. Now all you had to do was wait.
>After a few minutes, you looked up to make sure that Mous was still watching the game. 
>It seemed to be holding his attention, this was your chance. You edged you way into the crowd of ponies behind you, keeping as low as possible.
>You made best speed for another room and got up to walk away as soon as you were out of sight.
>You waited a moment to see if he would come barreling through the door looking for you.
>...
>Nothing.
>Boss defeated.
>Bonus Objective Met.
>Mission Accomplished.
>Nice going Star Anon.

>You checked out the room you now found yourself in and saw your Twilight, Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie chatting in the corner.
>You walked over and caught Rainbows attention. "Hey, Anon!" she flew up and extended a hoof, you instinctively reach out and bump it with your fist.
>Feelsgoodman.jpg
>As you walk over to Twilight and Pinkie and slump decide to slump against the wall for lack of a couch.
>"Flying solo tonight?" Rainbow asks.
>"Nah. Mous is around, we just split up for the night." you say in the best almost-lie fashion you can.
>You didn't want to ditch him, but if he didn't get out there and actually talk to people he would have just followed you around and said nothing until it was time to go home.
>"So, how does a Pinkie Pie party compare to the kinds of parties they have back where you come from?" Twilight asked.
>You take a glance around. Ponies were socializing, eating sweets and dancing, but no one was passed out in the corner, making out on the stairs of vomiting in the plants. The entire basement seemed to just capture all the good aspects of a party and excise all the bad.
>"There are some similarities." you start "But more than a few differences as well. Maybe having fun is a universal constant." That got a laugh out of Twilight and a smile out of Pinkie but you fear it went over Rainbows head.
>You spend time sitting with friends and talking about various subjects, Dash's infatuation with a group called "The Wonderbolts", Twilights research, and half a dozen other topics.
>The night was headed for the direction of greatness, save for the small nagging sensation in the back of your mind regarding your mission Bro.
>You're sure he's fine.

=Mous PoV=
>He ditched you.
>That prick motherfucker ditched you.
>Your jimmies were rustled, your critters were jittered, you-is that cake?
>It was.
>Rage later, cake now.
>You hadn't eaten since lunch, this caked looked like it would hit the spot.
>You grab a piece and shove it in your mouth.
>You could give a half a shit about manners right now.
>You spot some ponies staring at you out of the corner of your eye.
>You turn to them.
>"Ishh a hooan hing."
>Damned cake. If you weren't so delicious, I'd have half a mind to spit you out.
>After you finished inhaling your cake, you tried to remember your previous train of thought.
>Oh yeah, your bro ditched you in a veritable sea of ponies you didn't know and didn't particularly feel like talking to.
>You peer around the room for any sign of Anon.
>Nothing.
>Cunting hell.
>You spot a doorway and make towards it.
>Maybe he slipped in there.
>You enter the room and don't immediately spot Anon.
>Dammit. How hard was it to find the only other member of your species here?
>Maybe he's in the back of the room.
>You start to push your way through the barrier of flesh in your way when you hear a familiar accented voice.
>"Mous! Over here!"
>You turn to see Aloe waving at you, Lotus standing behind her near a small table.
>Boss?...es?

>You walk over to their little corner of the room.
>"What are you two doing here? 
>Aloe smiles a warm smile up at you.
>"We couldn't miss the welcome party of our newest employee, could we?"
>Oh Aloe, your good cheer will be the death of me.
>"Not to mention that Pinkie Pie invited the entire town." Lotus said grinning.
>"You could have just not come, Ma'am."
>Lotus raises an eyebrow. 
>"We're not on the clock, you could call us by our names."
>You sigh and turn back to the crowd behind you.
"I could, couldn't I?" you say as you glance down in her direction.
>You continue to scan the crowd for any sign of Anon.
>Still, nothing.
>"I'll catch up with you two later."
>You begin to walk back the way you entered, there was no way you were getting through that wall of ponies.
>One look into the main room, however, causes you to reconsider.
>Fuck.
>There she was.
>That mint green unicorn.
>Lyra.
>She came into the spa three fucking times yesterday, once with a shit mustache disguise.
>Each time she brought new levels of creepiness.
>You accepted that some ponies might moan as you worked, but not to the extent that Lyra did.
>It seriously sounded like she was getting off to it.
>It didn't help that every time she came it she complained about an area dangerously close to her horn.
>You scanned the room quickly to avoid being seen.
>Fuck. There was no way to cross through the room where you wouldn't be seen by her.
>If you wanted to find Anon, you were going to have to talk to Lyra.
>Nope.
>Nope.
>NOPENOPENOPENOPENOPE.
>You walk back to Aloe and Lotus and lean against the wall.
>"Okay, it's later now, what's up with you two?" you ask as you settle in for the night.

=Anon PoV=

>You've been talking to Twilight and Rainbow for a while now.
>You've spoken to Pinkie whenever she hopped by, but she was the party host and could never stay for too long.
>Conversation had been fluid between the three of you, with topics ranging from local sports, to magical theory, to your life on Earth.
>The magical theory conversation had fascinated you. 
>You had always had an interest in the sciences back on Earth, and your professors said you had a naturally inquisitive mind.
>Here you were learning about not only an entirely new form of "science", but one that directly subverted other known forms and yet still flowed between them naturally.
>From ley lines to how pegusi walk on clouds to even the colossal magics Celestia and Luna used to move the heavens, you were enraptured by all of it.
>It would be so cool if you could find a job learning more about it.
>Fuck.
>You still had to find work.

>You tilted your head back as your remembered your situation.
>Crap. Ponyville didn't look like it had any laboratories or universities you could look into, just small town stuff.
>You sighed as your aspirations of becoming some sort of extra-dimensional wizard went up in smoke.
>Twilight must have picked up on your distress "Is something wrong Anon?"
>Rainbow gave you a look as well, "Yeah, you were all into the conversation but you just kinda got this  bummed look."
>You looked back at the two of them "Oh, I was just thinking. I kinda wanted to learn about the magic here and thought that maybe I could get a job doing something magic related, but Ponyville doesn't seem to have the facilities for something like that."
>Twilight put her hoof to her chin in thought "Hmm. I may be able to help you there Anon." she said.
>Interest re-ignited, you stopped slumping against the wall and leaned forward. "What do you mean Twi?" you asked.
>"Well, I'm always doing research at the library. While Spike is a great assistant, I can always use more hands to help with field work." she says with a smile.
>Holy shit that sounds perfect. 
>Just one nagging question.
>"Does it pay? We can't live with Mous supporting the both of us." you say.
>Twilight smiles again. "I get grants for expenses when I do my research, bringing on an assistant should be covered under that, I think."
>Money + magic research job + friend as a boss = One happy ass Anon.
>"Alright then!" you say louder then you thought as you grab your punch. "A toast to my new job in research."
>Twilight and Rainbow get a bit of a knowing grin as they toast their cups with you.
>As you down the punch, you marvel once again at how good it's kick. What did Pinkie Pie put in this anyway?
>Whatever it tasted great.

=Back with Mous=

>This wasn't as bad as you had thought.
>At least if you were stuck at a party, it was with two ponies you knew.
>You had a bit of through traffic as well.
>Applejack and Rarity had stopped by.
>Applejack told you that she could have used your help when Anon stopped by earlier to help her carry apples.
>Maybe next time.
>Rarity had stopped by to report to the three of you that the spa uniform Aloe and Lotus called her in to measure for today would be done by the end of the week.
>Cool. Everything was settling into place nicely.
>Some time passed and the conversation died down.
>Well that won't do.
>"The accent you two have is similar to one we have back where I'm from. Where did you two live before you came here?"
>Lotus turned to you as Aloe finished a piece of cake she had just gotten.
>"We lived with our mother and father just outside of Stalliongrad." she said.
>Stalliongrad.
>That makes sense.
>"We moved here shortly after discovering out cutie marks." she continued.
>"Were there many day spas in Stalliongrad?" you ask
>This time it was Aloe who answered.
>"No, that's why we got ours. Our father worked in the factories and our mother in the restaurants. They were so tired when they came home every day that we decided to try and help them by rubbing out the tension. After some experimentation with lotions and aromas, we discovered these had shown up." she said as she showed you her flank.
>Hehe. 'Rub out the tension.'
>Shut up brain, it was her father. That's gross.

=Anon again=

>The party began to die down, only a few stragglers remaining.
>Twilight and Rainbow had left about twenty minutes ago and you had spent the time talking to a lovely grey pegasus about his sweet mohawk.
>You began to make your way to the main room to get going only to discover that your coordination had taken a nosedive.
>Leave it to Pinkie Pie to spike the damn punch.
>With a hand on the wall, you tried your damndest to make your way to the door.
>Crossing over the dance floor seemed a bit easier, the ponies still on it thinking you were doing some impromptu alien dance or something.
>You reached the door and came face to face with your worst drunk enemy.
>Stairs.
>A quick flex of your balance told you that you weren't going to get up those stairs without a bruise or two.
>Nah fuck that brain. We can do it.
>Maybe if you just crawl up slow...
>You trip over your foot which you could swear wasn't there a second ago and brace for an impact that never comes, you stopping suddenly in the air.
>A familiar head loops your arm around it and hauls you up the stairs. " mous! there you are! did you ednjoy your party?" you ask.
>You can see him grin. "Not as much as you did, it seems." as he leads you onto the path home.
>" oh, lighten up. you gotta enjoy the life here man! we could be here for a long ass time and you'rre jus sitin' around wit a stick sup your ashs." you say.
>"I have my fun." he says.
>Yeah, right. Mous was the biggest stick in the mud ever at parties. Why did you even hang out with this guy?
>Oh yeah, because he saved you from being concussed and is carrying you home.
>"So how was your night?" he asks.
>" oh izt was great!" you say. " i talked with twilight and rainbow bout a buncha cool stuff asnd twilight gave gme ta job ais hper research buddy!"
>Your brain could tell that you were drunk, but at the same time, didn't seem to give a fuck.

>You eventually reach your apartment after you try to explain how a ley line works followed by a spirited performance of Puttin' on the Ritz.
>Heh. Spirited. You were funny.
>Mous leaves you leaning on a wall as he grabs the last roll of bread in the house and shoves it in your mouth. "Eat this." he said.
>You munch down on your new snack as Mous leads you into your room, you knocking over the contents of the hallway on your way, and tosses you on your bed. He leaves the room and returns a second later with a metal bucket and sets it down next to your bed.
>"Finish that. Don't choke. Puke in there if you have to." he says standing over you. "Anything else?"
>"tell sme a story." you say.
>He gives you a look. "This is the tale of the drunk guy who got on his roommates nerves with stupid drunken requests and got to sleep in the couch for the third night in a row." he said as he walked out of the room, hitting the lights on the way out.
>"night bro!" you call out.
>A resounding "THUMP" on your door was your response.
>Mous could be cool, when he wanted.
>You were out within minutes.

=Finishing with Mous=

>Okay, Anon is out.
>You walk around the apartment locking doors and picking up all the crap that got knocked over.
>The entire time you were thinking.
>You were the one who brought up the concept of the both of you being here for an extended period of time and you were just treating it as some irritating vacation.
>You didn't want to wind up being stuck here for a year and have spent the entire time pissed off.
>You already had some friends, even if you worked for two of them.
>It couldn't hurt for you to cut loose every once in a while.
>You were about to go to bed when you heard a loud "BANG" from your front door.
>"What now?"
>You walk to the door and throw it open, already pissed off at whoever was out there.
>You look down at your feet.
>A rock, maybe the size of your fist, had hit the door.
>A look at the door showed a large dent where the rock had hit.
>You look out for whoever threw the rock and your eyes settle on three familiar ponies standing about twenty yards from your doorstep.
>Fucking Whistleblower and his cronies.

>This prick must have followed you when you were carrying Anon home.
>"What is your problem guy!?" 
>You walk out and shut the door behind you.
>"You are you menace! How else do you explain the entire town going to a block party and keeping everyone awake so soon after you show up here?"
>You try and work your head around that particularly grating form of doublethink.
>"If the entire town was at the party, THEN WHO THE HELL WERE WE KEEPING UP!?" you shout.
>This guy assaulted your home, you were not a happy camper.
>He ignores your question and throws another rock.
>It sails wide to the right.
>"Get out of our town!" he cries.
>"So what, you're here to run me out of town? There's another guy here, you know."
>He scrapes his hoof on the ground in front of him.
>"I'll get rid of your influence any way I can! And a passed out drunk will be easy to haul away once you're gone."
>This guy was getting on your last nerve.
>It would be easy to walk back inside and ignore him, he probably doesn't have to balls to actually break any windows or anything, but Anon's words come into your head.
>"You're just sitting around with a stick up your ass."
>Looking back at this guy lights a fire in your veins, you didn't want to just let him off.
>You think for a moment of the consequences of your actions versus how much time you might be here for.
>...
>Okay. Time to cut loose.
>The only way you knew how to in these situations.
>You walk back inside and grab your stereo and the CD nearby it.
>You bring them both outside and set them up.
>"What is that?" yelled Whistleblower.
>"Music. If we're doing this, we're doing it right." you say without turning.


-Musical accompaniment: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7_264rzpp2Q-
>The music starts and your heart beat falls in line with it.
>You used to spar to this song.
>"Come on." you say.
>You toss a few punches in Whistleblowers direction as the music gets going.
>He scrapes his hoof on the ground again and charges you.
>Not today.
>You whirl around to gain some momentum and the back of your boot meets the front of his head. 
>Whistleblower goes flying off to the side and you turn your attention to his friends.
>The unicorn is still staring mouth agape, but the pegasus lifts off and rushes you. 
>You jump to the side as he passes and has to pull up to avoid hitting the house.
>From his vantage point, he tries to divebomb you.
>You sidestep just in time to avoid a collision this time.
>You had to take him out of the fight fast.
>He came around for another pass but this time you were ready for him.
>As he came within a few feet of you, you jumped up and grabbed him behind the shoulder.
>He couldn't counter your added weight and crashed to the ground.
>As the two of you slid, you pressed your weight into him to drive him further into the dirt.
>You stop moving and get up, sparing a glance down at the unmoving pegasus.
>He was still breathing, and you could hear some moans escape him.
>Two down.

>You notice some blue flashes out of the corner of your eye accompanied by the what felt like wind on your back.
>You turn to see the unicorn standing over Whistleblower, his horn still glowing from recent discharge.
>He must have noticed that his magic wasn't doing anything to you because he starting throwing chunks of earth at you with panic in his eyes. 
>You capitalize on his fear and charge him, sidestepping dirt clods along the way.
>You get close to him and he raises another clod.
>Fuck. No time to dodge. Gotta get ballsy.
>As he hurls the dirt at you, you swing out with a fist and hit the clod as best you can.
>The dirt pours over you both as the clod shatters.
>Shit. That hurt more then you thought it would.
>Wanting to end this quickly, you grab the unicorn by his horn.
>Magical blasts spring forth from the horn and are funneled by your hand out the tip, arcing across the sky.
>You drag the unicorn down to the ground by his appendage, you let go as you draw your foot back.
>"Boot to the head!" you call out.
>Your boot connects to the second pony of the night as he flies a few feet and hits the ground.
>You overlook the ponies spread out across your yard, they would be bruised, but should be fine.
>You kneel down to the brown colt at your feet and grab his ear.
>"Enjoy the rest of your evening, Mister Whistleblower." you whisper with a smirk.

>You grab your stereo as the song ends and take it inside.
>The couch was good enough for it for now, you wanted to sleep.
>You quickly clean off your hand in the bathroom.
>A few scrapes, but nothing too noticeable.
>You change into sleep pants and lay down.
>You take a quick inventory of the day's events.
>Did work. Got paid.
>Went to a party. Met some friends. Even if you didn't want to go in the first place.
>Accepted that you could be here for a while and decided to finally cut loose a bit. The mustard colored marine figures around your room would be proud.
>You settle in to sleep, your fan lulling you there.
>Today was a good. day

-BiE one shot 1-
>Be day whatever in Ponyville.
>It was a nice day out, not too hot.
>You and Anon were walking to work together.
>You were both also in an argument.
>"I told you, they are not 'dolls' they are 'models'."
>"I'm sure that's exactly what someone who owned dolls would say." he said.
>"My models take hours of time to craft, paint, and position."
>"And then you go and put six hundred of them around your room like some ridiculously old Barbie fan-mom."
>"Because I'm proud of the work I did! Some of those models have over a thousand piec-"
>You spin head over feet and land on your back.
>Shit.
>You must have tripped over somepony.
>"Sorry. Sorr-"
>"No it's quite alright, I had my-" 
>His accent sounded Scottish.
>"I was arguing with my friend and not looking where I was goin-"
>"Only an accident."
>The awkwardness of the scene makes the both of you not care that you're interrupting one another.
>Shit. Pick up these papers he dropped.
>"Here's your paper's, sorry about...that..."
>You get a good look at the pony you tripped over.
>Brown mane.
>Brown coat.
>Blue eyes.
>Cutey Mark? Hourglass.
>...
>No fuckin' way.
>You turn to look at Anon.
>He has the same bug eyed expression you have.
>You turn back to the stallion and blink.
>Nope. Not going crazy.
>He must have seen the look you had.
>"Uhh...problem?" he says.
>You look at your bro one last time before you turn back to him.
>Be cool, don't be an ass an-
>"Chameleon Circuit broken?"
>You have never seen a pony run away so fast.
>Today was a weird day.

=BiE 11=

>You stare at the forest before you.
>Shit. That place looked creepy.
>The full moon wasn't helping matters either.
>You turn to Anon.
>"Why is it that you need me here again?"
>He's staring at some notepad he brought.
>You hike your sweatshirt up and pull your hood over your head as a breeze blows past you. It was definitely going to be a long winter.
>"Because the Everfree Forest is dangerous and I need my bro to protect me while I look for this Poison Joke thing for Twilight."
>Protect from what?
>It had been about two months since your tussle with Whistleblower, you could handle yourself well enough in a fight but you didn't really feel like bodyguard material.
>Especially not in a forest that your local wizard deemed dangerous. 
>The past two months had been more or less routine.
>Wake up. Go to work. Come home.
>Rainbow had been over at least three times a week for a movie night. She'd probably be here right now if she didn't have to get clouds ready for that big storm this weekend.
>You look up at the sky, you can already see some thick clouds the weather team had amassed as they.
>Thunder clouds and a full moon at the creepy forest?
>You had the best luck in the world.
>Anon put his notebook away and started towards an opening of trees.
>"Welp, not gonna get things done just standing here. Let's go."
>You reach down and adjust David on your belt, bullshit were you not brining your knife here.
>You start after Anon.
>"If I get eaten, I'm blaming you."

>The two of you had been walking for a while now.
>The moon had made its way a considerable distance across the sky and was casting harsh shadows through the tree canopy.
>The two of you were keeping your spirits high with conversations.
>Topics had ranged from what your friends and family on Earth were doing, potential movie night choices, and remembering your first Hearthswarming Eve.
>"Hey... I wanna ask you something." Anon said.
>"No. I will not marry you so we can get a blender or something."
>He punches your shoulder. "I saw that coming. Fuck you."
>"I was just wondering..."
>He looks down at the ground as he walks.
>"Have you noticed Fluttershy hiding around the outside of the house? Like, in bushes and stuff?"
>No. Not Fluttershy anyway.
>"No. But now that you mention it, I've been seeing a Stetson in off in the distance every so often."
>He looks at you.
>"You think it's just some pony thing? I mean Rainbow is over every other day and we see Twilight enough."
>"I don't know man." you say "I just get her away from the house whenever I see her."
>He chuckles. "Fluttershy usually bolts as soon as I see her, how do you handle Applejack?"
>"I bought a box of apples from Applebloom in town a while ago, I throw them at her if she gets too close."

>You eventually come up on a small clearing.
>Stumps and logs littered the area.
>You look up and see a cloud rolling in front of the moon, casting the area in shadow.
>Anon kneels down and examines some flowers on the ground.
>He rises with a disappointed look on his face.
>"I don't get it, this is where Twilight said to look in the first clearing for the Poison Joke, but I don't see anything here but normal flowers."
>You examine the surrounding, you couldn't place any of these flowers but they looked unremarkable.
>"Could she have been wrong?" you ask.
>"No way, I've seen the map myself. The only other clearing is half a mile in."
>Well shit.
>Maybe you could double back and find some.
>You were about to speak your mind when a deafening roar came from behind the tree line.
>Oh shit.
>A form materialized out of the trees, a form that looked like a lion.
>That was where the similarities ended. On its back you saw a pair of stubby bat wings, with a long tail that ended in a scorpion stinger rising from in between them.
>Fuck.
>You had no idea what this thing was.
>You turn to look at Anon, he hasn't taken his eyes off it.
>"What the fuck is that thing, dude?"
>He keeps staring at it, his pupils have shrunk to the size of atoms.
>"Manticore. One of the apex predators in the Everfree Forest."
>You turn back to the manticore. Damn that thing looks pissed.
>"How the fuck can there be more than one apex predator!?"
>"The Everfree Forest is kinda just a clusterfuck, anything can get eaten by anything else." he says.
>Okay. 
>So you have a predatory animal with what appears to be teeth, claws, and a wicked tail; possibly with poison.
>It's lived here for years and knows how to survive.
>It's mad.
>Kid, you're boned.

>The manticore starts orbiting the two of you, keeping near the tree line.
>Your survival instinct was telling you to run.
>Everything about this situation warranted running.
>You could probably make it back to town, but...
>You glance at Anon: Loose clothes that would surely get caught on something, sneakers not meant for running, and to top it off he looked like he was panicking.
>No way he would make it.
>He was your bro, and it was your job to protect him tonight.
>You take a few steps towards the manticore as you unsheathe David.
>It seems to register you challenge roars in defiance of your best attempt at scaring it away.
>Shouting match it was.
>You let loose what you thought was your best war cry but all that comes out is a less than satisfactory "Waaaaaaagh".
>The manticore is as unimpressed as you are and roars again, this time stepping closer and baring it's teeth.
>No way you were getting out of here without a fight.
>You bring David to bear and go into a defensive stance.
>You don't dare turn your back on this thing "Stay behind me." you say to Anon.
>The manticore starts to run straight at you.
>With a sigh, you take off to meet it.
>Oh well. You had a good run.

>You sidestepped the manticore before you dove headlong into its mouth.
>You had no intention of making this easy.
>You flicked your wrist and drew two shallow gashes on the manticores left side.
>You still held on to the naive hope that you could scare this thing off.
>You ducked and rolled as the stinger tail filled your vision.
>Just barely dodged that thing.
>You had to do better, at least take this thing down with you.
>The manticore roared a short distance away, apparently you were more of a threat when you were armed. 
>It started lumbering towards you again and, not wanting to repeat a failing strategy, ran for the tree line.
>You danced around the first tree you got to, just hoping to keep something solid between this thing and your precious organs.
>You caught its paws with a few quick jabs when it tried to reach you, but weren't causing any serious damage.
>The stinger came next, madly darting towards you as it tried for just a prick of the skin.
>Through some fancy footwork and a unique way of contorting yourself, you were able to get the stinger caught in the trunk of the tree. You hammered it with David's handle to keep it there.
>Fuck. Bad move.
>The manticore bounded around the tree following its tail and came face to face with you.
>You fell back as the manticore drew a claw up to finish you.
>Right then, a rock hit the side of its head.
>Both you and the manticore looked back into the clearing.
>"Come on you disgusting chimera! Come and get me!" Anon cried as he threw more rocks.
>Shit! What was that idiot thinking? The manticore was after him now!
>Or at least it tried to go after him until its tail went taught and it tripped.
>Wait, taught tail.
>Opportunity.

>You grabbed David and ran towards the manticore's tale, right near the base.
>You rose David high a moment before you brought him down as hard as you could.
>The manticore roared in pain as you rose David once again, this time almost cutting through entirely.
>The manticore seemed to have other plans and turned its head to you to try and bite your arm.
>No. You weren't done yet.
>Without thinking, you kick the manticore in the snout, one of its fangs sailing through the air.
>You brought David down a third time and were rewarded with a blood of red blood and a green ichor you assumed was poison.
>The manticore howled at the loss of its appendage.
>You ran past it with one thought on your mind: regroup.
>You had maimed it, you both could make it back to town if you ran now.
>A blinding pain put a stopper in your plans as you went sailing through the air and landed a few feet from Anon.
>Fuck. Manticore must have recovered faster than you thought.
>You could feel lava hot gashes along your back and a fluid running down it.
>Now you were bleeding on your favorite sweatshirt, great.
>You look back at the manticore.
>It's eyes were wide in hatred and pain and its wings were flared out as it approached you.
>Dammit. Where was David. You might be able to get it in the neck before it kills you.
>Suddenly, green smoke started to billow out of the trees as a female voice boomed through the forest.
>"TURN AND RUN MANTICORE! HUNT NOT THESE POUR SOULS ANYMORE!" 
>The manticore seemed alarmed by the spectacle and faltered.
>"I'LL NOT ASK AGAIN, FEARSOME BEAST. RUN BEFORE YOU FACE SHE BY WHICH THIS FOREST IS POLICED!"
>Either blood loss, fear, or some combination worked because the manticore turned what was left of its tail and ran.

>After the manticore ran, a cloaked figure stepped out of the green mist and spoke.
>"Tell me traveler, how is your friend?" it's voice fell as it continued. "Is his time here almost and an end?"
>"It's nothing." you say as you start to rise only to be pushed back down again.
>"Shut the fuck up." Anon said.
>He turned back to your savior. "The manticore got him. He has three gashes on his back. He's already lost some blood."
>You looked down underneath your stomach, sure enough, a small red pool was forming underneath you as the life drained out of you.
>The cloaked figure spoke again.
>"Get him up and follow me, we can save him if we hurry." she speaks.
>Very rhyme-y this one.
>You feel Anon hoist you up and start after the pony who saved you.
>This reminded you of Earth.
>You would drag him home after he got drunk and he would do the same to you when you got hurt.
>Good to see that your broship continued while you were in this new world.
>Your vision and hearing were blurring as you reached your destination; a small hut in the middle of the woods.
>Anon and your mystery mare got the clothes off over your wounded back and poured a cold tonic down it, they kept saying things but you couldn't make it out.
>You screamed as loud as your lungs would allow as it set in.
>Dammit. If you could scream like that before you wouldn't be in this mess.
>You could feel Anon bandaging your torso as your host offered you a bowl of some sort of broth.
>You downed what you could and tilted your head back, your hearing slowly returning to you.
>"-ey. Hey! You still with us man?" you could finally make out Anon say.
>You rub your hand over your face.
>"Yeah, yeah I'm here." you say.
>You take a look around the room you're in.
>"Uh. Where is "here" exactly?"

>The mystery mare spoke up from another room.
>"You find yourself inside a dome, a dome which functions as my home." she said.
>You looked around the room you found yourself in.
>Decorating the walls were various tribal masks, shelves filled with tonics and herbs, above the window hung a-
>No.
>Nonono.
>It was here. Mocking you.
>That fucking didgeridoo had followed you out here.
>You were torn away from your first mortal enemy in Equestria as your host pony returned.
>No. Not Host pony. A host Zebra it seemed.
>"I see that you are now awake. It is good to see my potion take." she smiles.
>Again with the rhyming.
>"Yeah, thanks for that. I'm Mous and this is Anon." you say as you motion to him behind you. "Who are you?"
>"Kinda rude man, she saved your life." Anon scolds.
>You look back at the zebra.
>"...sorry." you say.
>She takes it well. "Have no shame. Zecora is my name."
>You grab your bloodied shirt from the floor and throw it back on, you were gonna have to get Rarity to fix this.
>"Tell me Zecora, do you always rhyme?"
>She looks a bit hurt. Nice going asshat.
>"This is how I have always spoken, is there something with which it you find broken?" she asks.
>Damn. She's good at this.
>You smile as you lean back.
>"Au contraire my monochrome mare, it's quite unique, so don't despair."
>You were always good in literature class.

>Her smile returns as you rise from your seat.
>"If I may, I have to ask, why you were in the forest, and what was your task?" 
>Anon turns to her after he hands you the sweatshirt you were looking for.
>"We're here looking for Poison Joke for Twilight Sparkle in Ponyville, do you know her?" he asks.
>Zecora nods. "Twilight Sparkle is a friend of mine, as so I see, a friend of thine."
>Zecora stepped into the next room and returned with a pot full of blue looking flowers.
>"The last time someone came looking for Poison Joke, it ended in disaster. I thought they safer in the hands of a master."
>Anon reached into pocket and pulled out a piece of cloth that he wrapped in his hands.
>"Do you mind if we take a few?" he asked as he leaned forward.
>"Go right ahead, they are not used for much." she said as she raised a hoof "It is good to see you know not to touch." 
>Anon put the flowers in his bag and the cloth back in his pocket.
>"We good?" you ask.
>"We good." you get with a grin.
>You give your goodbyes to Zecora and make ready to go home, you stop at the doorway however.
>"Zecora, before I go, it begs the question." you point to the didgeridoo. "Where did you get that piece of your collection?"
>She looks up at it and smiles. "I purchased it from a merchant somewhere in town, I doubt you'll find another like it around."
>You chuckle and step outside.
>"Is there a safe path back?" Anon asks
>Zecora nods and points between two nearby trees.
>"Between those trees you will find a path, it will spare you the forests' wrath."
>You wave your thanks and farewells and start walking.

>Some fifteen minutes later you can see the lights of Ponyville.
>You look over your shoulder and see Anon yawn.
>"It's late, lets head home. I'll give these to Twilight tomorrow."
>You nod and walk next to him.
>Your mind goes back to the confrontation with the manticore.
>You could have very easily died there if it wasn't for Anon.
>"Hey." you speak up.
>He turns to you.
>"Thanks. For back there with the manticore. I got his tail because of you."
>He takes a step towards you with a grin.
>"And for getting Zecoras help, that's two you owe me." he says as he wiggles a pair of his fingers.
>That was true, you were convinced Zecora was something even worse the forest had cooked up for you. No way you would have asked for her help if Anon wasn't there.
>"I think we're even for all the times I've had to carry your ass home." you retort as you start walking again.
>Silence.
>"Seriously thought, thanks man. I didn't want to die back there."
>"Awww..." he says as he snakes his arm around your shoulder right over your
>"BACK WOUNDS!" you cry.
>His arms shoots off and he laughs as your lean on a tree until the pain subsides.
>Sleeping was going to be the best tonight.
>You look back tom him once you hear him quiet down.
>"But seriously, no problem bro." he says with a wide grin. "What are friends for?"
>You smile and keep walking.
>Your mind goes back to the fight with the manticore as you do.
>You could have left. You would be short three big scars and a few weeks of pain.
>But Anon would have been gone.
>You take inventory of both of those possibilities.
>A quick look at your bro's grin at a job well done convinces you.
>A few wounds was totally worth it.

=BiE 12=

>The concoction boiled over, causing the cobalt fluid inside to seep down into the table.
>As it flowed, it left a trail of bright purple in its wake as opposed to the tables normal mahogany.
>"Crapcrapcrapcrap!" you shout as you take the experiment vile off its burner.
>You inspect the damage the accident caused. Looks like part of Twilight's table is going to match her coat for a while.
>"Twilight! It looks like this one won't catalyze either!"
>"Darnit!" you hear over your shoulder as your research partner investigates the latest failure."I was sure we had gotten the mixture right! 
>"How's our stock of Poison Joke looking?" you ask as you clean up the remainder or the mess.
>Twilight sighs. "Not good. At this rate, we're going to run out before we even come close to finishing!"
>The two of you had a hypothesis that you could use various chemicals and magical oils to more or less neuter a Poison Joke plant, taking away its ability to change somepony the way it did.
>A hypothesis that would fall through if you couldn't get the damn thing to catalyze.
>"I can always grab more." you say, not wanting to fail just because you lacked the proper materials.
>Twilight didn't seem to agree with you. "Anon, I'd much rather this experiment fail then have what happened to Mous happen to you." You put on a pouty face. "I could take the path there..."
>Twilight smiles and rolls her eyes "Come on, let's try this again. Maybe with less salt water this time."

>You step out of the Library at your usual time, but it sure doesn't look like it.
>Thick clouds hang over Ponyville, the setting sun casting them in shadows so harsh you could practically feel the water trapped inside them.
>The big storm was scheduled for around midnight tonight but you could swear it was going to let loose any minute.
>You were about to start home when you heard a brash voice from behind you "Yo! Anon!"
>You turned to see Rainbow Dash land a few feet away from you, her rainbow trail lagging behind her for a moment. She wordlessly extended her forehoof. You wordlessly bump it with your fist.
>Bro: Greeted.
>"Hey Rainbow, what's up?" you ask. She grins and looks up to the clouds. "Just getting everything ready for the storm tonight, it's gonna be our biggest this year. Where were you headed?"
>You stick your thumb behind you "I was about to head home, I don't want to be caught in this crap when it hits."
>She looks at you almost confused "Head home? On a Friday night? Buck that man, let's go grab some drinks." she turns around and begins walking, as if your answer was already set in stone. "My treat."
>Well shit. It probably was with the prospect of the drinks being free. You had nothing else planned other than to relax at home and hear Mous complain that he can only take so many painkillers at once.
>You find your feet already following Rainbow. 
>"Eh." you say, surrendering yourself to circumstance. "I could stand to get out more."

>Cut to a few minutes later and you and Rainbro are in some hole in the wall chugging hard apple ciders and shooting the shit.
>"So wait man, wait, what do they say where you're from instead of "Buck"? She's a bit tipsy, it goes with being that much lighter then you.
>"Fuck." you answer
>Rainbow stares ahead for a few moments. "That's...weird."
>You continue to regale Rainbro with tales of fast food, wireless internet, and soap that tasted like chocolate when you saw a familiar creamy yellow in the corner of your eye.
>Oh no...
>"Fluttershy." you say despite yourself. You must have had more then you thought. Damn these ponies weak alcohol messing with your ability to regulate yourself.
>She was standing at the other end of the bar with her back to you, you could see her eyeing you two every so often as she pretended to be nonchalant.
>Oh fuck she looked right at you. 

>You turn and stare at your drink and pretend not to hear the clip clop of hooves coming up on you.
>Rainbro leans in "What's wrong dude?" she whispers.
>You hadn't told anyone about what had happened in the hole, you had only told Mous about her staking out the house. You were actively trying not to think about it.
>"Let's just say Fluttershy gets a bit...personal when I'm around." you whisper back as you hear her take a seat next to you.
>"Hello Anon, I didn't expect to find you here." she says with as big a smile as you think she can get.
>You turn to her, acting like you weren't just conspiring with Rainbow about her. "Oh hey Fluttershy, I could say the same thing about you." you say through gritted teeth.
>"Oh. Uhm, yes. You see, I've been wanting to uh...get out more." she stammers out. Why do you get the feeling you were stalked here?
>"Well, it's just us bros here, having a few." you blindly grab at her shoulder and pull her close. "Right Rainbow Dash?" To her credit, she doesn't trip. "Hehe...Yeah! Just us bros..."
>You'd be more concerned that she sounded a bit off when she said that if not for what Fluttershy said next. "Do you mind if I join you?"
>No, brain. Just say no. "Yeahsure!" you stumble out.
>Ffffffuck.

>A few hours of awkward small talk and unwanted ass grabs courtesy of Fluttershy, you and Rainbow find yourselves outside.
>Fluttershy is more than gone. "Falconsh and Eaglesh they both 'r quite rega-hic-." she sings out. Even in your current situation, drunk Fluttershy is funny.
>Or would be funny, if you didn't have her dead weight on your shoulder and her flank next to your face.
>Ohfuckshewasslipping. "Need some help here Rainbow!" you call out.
>"I got her! I got her!" you hear as Rainbow lifts her head up and saves her from a fall.
>Thus had been your evening since you left the bar and started carrying Fluttershy to her house.
>You look up at the sky; no moon. That could just mean that it wasn't the right lunar phase or it could mean that the storm clouds were over you.
>Better safe than drenched. "Come on Dash! We gotta double time it!"

>You move as fast as your coordination will allow as you run down the road. Fluttershy's flank bouncing to and fro and getting her tail caught in your mouth more than once.
>Soon enough you spot Fluttershy's house. You get to the porch and get the door open just as you hear thunder rolling off in the distance.
>Shit. Gotta sped this up.
>"Angel!" you call out. "Angel, get out here!"
>Angel hops down the stairs and starts pitching a fit at being woken up. "No time Angel!" you say as you plop Fluttershy down on her couch. "She's drunk, take care of her." you say as you make for the door.
>You start running as soon as your outside. "C'mon Dash! This storms right on our ass and my place is halfway across town!" you yell as you make your best speed home, Rainbow right behind you.

>Your apartment is in sight just as the rain starts to come down in sheets.
>"Gah! Fuck!"
>You hear Rainbow move up next to you. "Let's go! Keep running!"
>You eventually get to your door and get inside. Taking a knee to catch your breath.
>Damn but were you out of shape.
>Rainbow lands and punches your shoulder. "Hehe. What's wrong Anon, can't handle a little run?" You smile despite the burning in your chest. "Heh...Screw...you." you gasp out.
>With your breathing under control, you take a glance out the window. Lighting was flashing rapidly in the clouds and the rain smacking the glass almost covered up the thunder.
>You turned to Rainbow. "How long is this storm supposed to last?" you ask.
>She looks out the window and frowns. "A while, we haven't had a decent rainstorm in a while."
>"Great." you think as lightning strikes a tree in the distance.
>"You can crash here tonight." She had been staying over on movie nights since you arrived here so there wasn't any argument. You doubted even she could fly herself home in this weather.
>A drop of water hit your nose and snapped you back to reality. A glance over at Rainbow showed that she was dripping wet too.
>"First things first." you say as you walk to your bathroom. "We need to dry off."
>You grab some towels and toss your shirt in your hamper. No use in drying off if you were wearing that.
>You noticed Rainbow didn't meet your eye when you gave her a towel. You look down to try and follow her line of sight. "Something on my pants?" you ask.
>Her face got a shade darker as she threw the towel over her head and started drying her mane. "No dude...It's nothing."

>Mous had probably gone to bed before the storm started so it was just you and Rainbow sitting on the couch as you both dried off. You'd have put on a movie if you thought either of you could get through it awake.
>You made some instant cocoa, it was still winter and neither of you needed pneumonia.
>Dash had been uncharacteristically quiet, with conversation coming in short, uninteresting spurts.
>Suddenly, she broke her self imposed silence. "Say...Anon. Did you have any other friends back where you were from? You know, besides Mous?
>Where did this come from? "I had a few." you said. "Most of them were from school though, Mous is the only one I've known for a long while though."
>Her face is darker again, and she's not looking up from her drink. "Did you ever have...someone who was more than a friend? And not a bro either."
>Was she asking you to play relationship councilor?
>Better you then Mous, you guess. He had once suggested that you both cover a friend in pheromones to make him seem more attractive once. "I've had a few." you say as you lean your head back and reminisce. "Couple of girls, one guy. Nothing lasting more than a year and that was because she was crazy." Seriously, Who the fuck brings a two hundred pound piece of decorative furniture to a second floor apartment?

>Rainbow looked at you weird for a second. "You like guys?" she asked.
>What was that term for gay ponies you heard? Colt Cuddler? "Not exclusively, but I can see the appeal." you glance her way. "Do you think that's weird?"
>Her face got dark again. "Nonono! Just...I didn't know that about you." 
>More silence. Dammit, even if she didn't find it weird, it still just got weird.
>She breaks the quiet once more. "So...what were they like? Were they all smart like you were?"
>Wow. This must be serious. She didn't even call you an egghead. 
>You mull it over for a minute. "I guess we just all had some sort of connection. Different then what Mous and I have, but, just some spark of something that brought us together. We would hang out for a while and then things would just kinda escalate."
>"Heh." you hear her mumble. "It sounds like things were pretty much the same where you come from as they are here."
>"Really?" She nods. "Well, how bout that."
>As if it were adding the period to your sentence itself, a crack of thunder killed the lights and plunged the house into darkness. 
>"Well, I guess that's our cue to turn in." you say as you grab one if the blankets laying on the couch. "G'night Rainbro."
>You think you hear a sigh from her. "Yeah...good night Anon."

=BiE 13=

>You stir from your sleep.
>Wait, something's off.
>No Celestia making her sun blind your ass to start off they day? What's the occasion?
>You throw back your curtains and look outside.
>The sky is grey.
>The wind is howling.
>It's also raining.
>Sideways.
>"Oh."
>So that's what's up.
>Wait.
>You still had to walk to work in this.
>"Oh dicks."
No. Don't wanna.
>Fuck you brain, we've been in this fucking room for two days. It's time to get out.
>You ignore your brain and roll off your bed.
>Literally roll off.
>You land on your face.
>"Ow. Fuck." 
>Right, okay. 
>Those painkillers were a bit stronger then you thought.
>You push yourself off the ground and manage to stand.
>You hobble your way over to your door, you get the hang of walking again by the time you make it.
>Hard part's over.

>Step 1: Food.
>Solution: Two rolls of bread and some water.
>Fucks given: None. It was cheap and filling.
>You spy both Rainbow and Anon still asleep on the couch.
>Anon wasn't wearing his shirt.
>You don't want to know.
>You finish eating and make your way to the bathroom.
>You throw your shirt off and start removing the bandages covering your back.
>The scars from the Manticore were noticeable, but Zecora's burning potion thing made them blend well enough.
>You turn on your shower and step in.
>Should you tell Anon about Rainbow? It's been obvious to you since she started showing up to watch movies so often.
>It would be nice to rip this band-aid of awkwardness off fast and just get on with it.
>...No. Anon had to figure this out for himself.
>Anon was the smartest guy you knew, but he could be pretty damned thick at times.
>Even you had to point out how close he was getting to his last girlfriend.
>Uhg. That fucking 200 pound secretary.
>Stupid cunt. Fuck her.
>As you shower, you take a moment to notice that you are covering yourself in water to go outside and get covered in water.
>The irony would be delicious if you weren't going to hate it so much.

>You feel a bit more lucid after your shower.
>More aware.
>That's good, Aloe and Lotus would probably get mad if you came into work stoned.
>A quick peek outside shows you that this rain doesn't seem intent on letting up any time soon.
>You decide to wear some normal clothes while you walk and change when you get to the spa.
>You grab a work outfit from your dresser.
>Matching stark white shirt and pants. Rarity had made them when you started working at the spa.
>You personally thought they were too white when coupled with your pasty skin.
>The only different color on your entire body when you wore them was your hair, you had even started to grow out your beard just to add a little fucking variety.
>But getting these soaked wasn't an option so they went in your bag. You threw on some jeans and a shirt and made for the door.
>Sweatshirt on to block at least some of the rain and bag over your shoulder, you opened the door.
>Yep. Still raining sideways.
>Shit.
>You spot a fluttering grey figure in a yellow poncho by your mailbox.
>"Hey Derpy." you call out over the wind.
>She spots you and gets that big smile of hers.
>"Hey Mous!" she says as she flies up to you.
>It must be hard for her to fly in this weather.
>That was why you were friends with Derpy, she never let stupid shit like a nor'easter stop her.
>"Neither rain, nor sleet, nor snow, nor hail, huh Derpy?" you say as you return her smile.
>Her eyes get a bit more skewed, she puts her hoof to her chin.
>"Huh? What's that?" she asks.
>"Heh. Never mind Derpy, just something we say where I come from. You headed my way?"
>You gesture towards town with your thumb and Derpy beams a smile and nods.

>Dude.
>Fuck. This. Rain.
>It was coming down in sheets, the wind making those sheets hit you square in the face.
>You could swear that you were a few steps away from being thrown into Oz.
>Did Equestria have an Oz? Was it weirder then Equestria?
>Your thoughts are interrupted as a fresh burst of rain nails you.
>Even the company of your favorite mailmare can't overcome the hurdle of the blasting wind and rain.
>You had to practically yell to get conversation across.
>From what you could make out; Dinky was doing well in school. Or was going to Hell for the pool, you don't know it was hard to hear.
>Probably the first one though.
>Derpy flew off to finish her rounds as you two entered town, leaving the last few hundred yards a solo endeavor.
>You eventually made it to the spa door and stumbled inside, your cloths were heavy and you were no doubt dripping.
>You flipped back your hood to see Aloe behind the front desk, trying to stifle a laugh, it seems.
>"Welcome back, Rough morning?" she asks.
>"I will never be dry again. I could spend a year in the Appleoosian desert and still be damp."
>"I'll bet. Lotus! Mous just walked in!" she calls back.
>"On my way." you hear your co-boss say.
>Lotus walks in through the door.
>"Mous, welcome back. We're glad tha-"
>She takes a look at your new part man-part water form.
>"Are you sure that you're okay to work? You look like you didn't have a particularly relaxing leave." she says, you think you spot concern in her eyes.
>"I have water in places I didn't know I had, but my wounds are all closed up. Just point me to somewhere I can get changed and dry."
>Lotus gets a small smile. "You can use the steam room, we haven't had many customers today so it's empty."
>Great. The day you bust your ass to come to work is the day nopony shows up.
>"Thanks boss." you say as you make your way back.
>Lotus bumps you as you walk past.
>Ha.
>She hated to be called boss.

>You get to the steam room and grab one of the towels nearby.
>You disrobe and start drying yourself off.
>You'll throw our clothes in the dryer you use for towels, if it's a slow day then Aloe and Lotus won't mind.
>Good thing your boxers didn't get damp.
>It makes sense that business is light today, nopony wanted to be outside in this weather.
>Anon and Rainbow had the right idea, be off work, sleep late, stay indoors and watch movies.
>Perfect recipe for a lazy Saturday.
>Kinda like the day you first showed up here.
>You pull your pants on and grab your shirt, satisfied that you were dry enou-
>You collapse as a liquid magma hot pain runs along your scars.
>"GAH! FUCK!"
>Fucking hell. It felt like the Manticore was dragging it's claws up your back again.
>Slowly. 
>While on fire.

>You get yourself into a seated position and try to relax.
>Too much relaxation, you accidentally lean back on the coal pit in the center of the room.
>"Dammit!" you gasp out as you slam your fist into the coal pit.
>"You must have made a lot of noise because Lotus comes galloping into the room.
>"Mous! What's wrong? Is it your back?" she ask as she bursts in.
>You half double over and put your head in your hand as you grimace.
>"It's nothing..." you say through clenched teeth.
>She wasn't having any of that it seems. "It is not nothing! You're in pain!"
>"Nothing real, just phantom pains. Probably been having them *gak*" 
>Dammit. Not now. 
>"...since I got hurt, painkillers must have made me not notice them."
>"And you're off the painkillers?" Lotus asked.
>"Was taking a few at a time. Can't come to work stoned." you say through gasped breath.
>The pain was starting to fade a bit.
>"Mous...you can't work like this." she says, actual concern in her voice.
>Talking to Lotus was always like a game, you had to distract her to actually get the real her out.
>"I can't sit at home for another day either, I'll go mental."
>You sigh. The pain seemed to have passed, all the was left was a sort of throbbing feeling.
>You could handle that.
>"There. See?" you ask as you rise. "Good as new."
>You throw on your shirt, as proof. It hurts, but nothing major.
>"Mous, you can't work if this is going to happen again. It's not safe." she says as she looks up at you.
>You mull it over.
>Nopony wanted a masseur who was in pain.
>Your boss didn't want you to work if you were in pain.
>But you wanted to work.
>The solution was simple: Don't be in pain.
>"Then it won't happen again." you say as you head for the door.
>"Are you sure?" you hear Lotus call out behind you.
>"Positive." you say.
>"I'll be in my room."
>Okay.
>You could do this.

=BiE 14=

>Aloe wasn't lying when she said it was a slow day.
>Absolutely know one had come in since you got there.
>This was almost as bad as just laying in bed at home.
>Almost.
>Not that there weren't downsides to being here other than boredom.
>As if on cue, the scars on your back flare up.
>You place a hand on your oil shelf to steady yourself.
>Damn...this one was lasting longer than the others.
>As you try to power through the burning hot agony on your back, you hear someone open the door to your massage room.
>"Mous."
>You open your eyes to see Lotus peeking her head through the door.
>She had been checking on you throughout the day after she found you in the steam room.
>Lotus could be distant at times, but you could tell she worried.
>You probably would too if you found an employee screaming on the floor from his manticore wounds.
>Your death grip on the oils rack persists for a moment longer as your pain dies down.
>You turn your gaze to your employer. 
>You try your best to put on a reassuring smile.
>"Lotus, I'm fine, you don't need to keep checking up on me." 
Liar. 'Fine' is in the Galaxy Far Far Away.
>Quiet brain. She must never know.
>You must look like crap because she doesn't look very convinced.
>"I see. I wanted to tell you that you have a customer, she's on her way back." she said.
>"Okay. Thanks for the heads up."
>She stares a moment longer before she backs out and closes the door.
>Okay. First customer.
>Maybe this was just what you needed, somepony to distract you a-
>"Howdy there sugarcube."
>-And make the situation that much worse.

>You slowly turn to meet the tan mare who entered your room.
>Applejack.
>Under normal circumstances, this wouldn't send your jimmies into such a spasm.
>You'd seen Applejack several times since you first noticed her spying on your house and simply played along with her game of "Cat and Mous".
>But you weren't in the mood to play today.
>But you also had no choice.
>You had vowed to get through the day despite the pain, and dammit, that's what you were gonna do.
>"Hey AJ. Lay down on the bed and we'll get started." you say without turning.
>Okay. Just a normal massage. In and out.
I thought we were trying to avoid that?
>Not in the mood brain.
>You grab some random lotion off the shelf, you had no idea where anything was after you re-organized for the third time an hour ago.
>As you maneuvered to her side, you felt high hind leg brush up against your leg.
>You saw that.
>She didn't think you did.
>But you saw that.
>The perpetual frown you've had on all day grows deeper as you get to work.
>AJ, for her part, sells it rather well.
>Her moans echo through the small room as you work your way over her muscles.
>You try to block it out as you focus on the best plan of action.
>Okay; Applejack did a lot of hauling apples, so her back muscles would need work. She also was in charge of bucking the apples, so her legs would need a lot of attention.
>Crap. This was amounting to an awful lot of rubbing on the mare who you caught trying to watch you exit the shower.

>"You're awful quiet today Mous." you heard AJ say.
>Shit. You were being quiet today.
>"Sorry. We haven't had a lot of customers today, your actually the first. I guess I'm just out of it."
>"Mmmm...that's awright. I don't mind silent types." she says.
>Dammit AJ. Your relentless flirting would be funny on any day other then today.
>The constant throbbing in your back picks up with your heartbeat. 
>Dammit...that hurt.
>You need to find something to focus on.
>"So, where does it hurt, AJ?" you ask, ignoring her previous comment.
>Should've asked that before. Stupid. Stupid. Get your head in the game.
>"My shoulders have been givin' me all sorts'a problems lately."
>She lifts her head and turns to you, her eyes are lidded.
>"Anything you can do about that?" she asks.
>Your scars flare up in response to your rustled jimmies.
>Dammit. Not now.
>Anything you say will come out as a groan, so you just motion for Applejack to lay down again.
>Had to wrap this up fast.
>But no way she would just walk out of here without you fixing her shoulders.
>She's talking again. Something about electric apples or something. 
>It's all just so much white noise as you try to get her out of here and ignore the ever growing pain in your back.
>Dammit. It's getting worse.
>You're out of tricks. You have no idea where this pain she is experiencing is coming from.
>You wonder if you could...
>Just kinda...
>You stop rubbing for a moment and place your ear on Applejack's back.
>You had no idea why you were doing this, but it felt like a good idea. 
Maybe you can hear the pain, Yeah!
>Brain. Why are you talking instead of flooding us with endorphins?

>You wonder...
>If pony joints are similar enough to your joints...
>The pain in your back has become almost unbearable again.
>It's all you can do to not scream in Applejack's ears as she talks about whatever.
>You can't take either of these anymore.
>You grab Applejack's hooves and pray that you're not about to cripple somepony.
>In one swift motion you pull Applejack's legs forward and then wrench them back behind her head as far as they'll go.
>A series of cracks fills the room in unison with Applejack releasing a low moan.
>That was...actually rather therapeutic. 
>Your scars die down a bit, but you can feel them still feel the throbbing increase in intensity.
>The momentary reprise you just bought yourself was quickly running out.
>"So, did that take care of your problem?"
>Applejack looks like she just got off and you make a point of checking to make sure she didn't.
>"Sugarcube, I don't know what you did. But you can do it again any time." she says.
>You leave her side and open the door.
>"Glad to be of service, please talk to Aloe at the front desk about paying." you say with the best smile you can muster.
>The pain was coming back.
>This was a big one, you can feel it.
>Applejack jumps off the bed and grabs her hat as she leaves.
>The second she's around the corner, you turn tail and head to the rear of the spa.
>Showers. Had to get to the showers.
>Your stomping through the halls draw Lotus out of the aromatherapy room.
>She looks up at you the same way she has been all day. 
>"Mous, is everything-"
>"Not now." you spit out as you blow past her.

>You enter into the showers, used whenever somepony felt the need to wash off any sweat from the steam room.
>You find the first shower you can and crank the knob to the coldest it goes as you practically tear off your shirt.
>You sit down in the pony sized shower and let the cold water run over your back, careful not to let any get on your pants.
>Oooohhh...
>By The Five that felt good.
>The cold water fights back the building pain and starts to slowly numb your back.
>You see the door open, Lotus stands there and just stares.
>Fuck. She looks mad.
>"Mous. I don't care what you said earlier, you are not fit to work if you are in this much pain. Now go home before you kill yourself with this!" she said as she stomped up to you.
>You smile. The first legitimate smile you've had all day.
>"It's fine boss, really this time. This water's taking care of my pain better than those pills ever did."
>Lotus sticks her hoof in the stream of water and almost immediately pulls it back out, wincing.
>"Mous, this water is freezing." she says.
>"And it feels GREAT."
>She shakes her head and sighs.
>"Whatever Mous, just don't do more damage to yourself then you already have." she says as she leaves.
>Pfft. What did she know?
>You were fine, right?
>You examine your situation.
>You were sitting in a too-small-for-you shower, alone, pouring ice water on your back to simply get through the day.
>...
>No. No you were not fine.
>With a sigh, your get up and turn off the water.
>You towel yourself off and throw your shirt back on.
>Apart from being spectacularly itchy, you were fine.
>You sit down in your chair back in your room.
>You had some stuff to think about.

>The only other customer you had that day was, what a shocker, Lyra.
>Oh well. At least she was easy to take care of.
>Rub her haunches, crack her back, hit her temples and you're done.
>You grab your clothes from the dryer and stuff them in your bag, you were in a hurry to get home.
>The pain was starting to come back, your scars slowly getting more sore throughout the day. 
>You make your way to the front, Aloe and Lotus were going over numbers behind the desk.
>You pause on your way out and grab the doorframe, as another flare settles in.
>Damn. They were getting more frequent, you had to get home.
>You hear Lotus sigh.
>"Aloe, close up for me, I need to help our friend here get home." she says coming out from the desk.
>Aloe gives you a concerned look. "Is he alright?"
>Lotus scoffs as she walks up to you. "He's thickheaded, and stupid, and should have gone home hours ago when he could still make it on his own."
>"I regret nothing."
>Lotus puts your theory to the test with a small tap on your back.
>Pain rockets up your spine and sends your brain into overload, your pupils shrink and your chest hitches.
>"Ow." escapes your mouth in the best deadpan you can muster.
>Never let them see you sweat.

>Lotus and you make your way down the road to your house.
>Your scars do their best to impede you, but you only have to stop a few times.
>"You did a really stupid thing today, Mous." Lotus said with her eyes forward.
>"I'm kind of a stupid guy."
>"Stupid or not, I would hope you could at least understand not to come into work when you can barely walk." she shot a glare at you.
>"No way. What would have happened if some pissed off asshole came in and tried to shut us down for prostitution again?"
>"Oh please." she said. "Nopony has tried that since Whistleblower, and he was one of maybe three who's done that in the entire time I've lived here."
>She turns to glare at you. "I run a public spa with my twin sister and hail from a seedy place in the world. I was prepared for overreactions when I came here, Mous."
>"Whatever. He was still an ass."
>"And I see you picked up his lessons well."
>Heh.
>Good one.

>You eventually reach your door, your conversation with Lotus helping distract you from the pain.
>"Thanks for this bo-Lotus." you catch yourself. "I appreciate the concern."
>She still looks annoyed. "Oh no. I'm not leaving until I see you swallow those pills."
>You open the door and step inside.
>"Uhg. You're worse than my mom."
>You throw your bag on the empty couch.
>"ANON YOU HOME!?" you yell out.
>Two thumps resound from the back of the apartment.
>"Yeah, he's home, come on in." you motion for Lotus to follow you
>You make your way to your bathroom and open your bottle of pills.
>You toss a few into your mouth absentmindedly as Lotus looks on in mild terror.
>"How many of those did you just take!?" she reels.
>"Enough."
>You open your mouth and lift your tongue for Lotus to ensure you actually swallowed them.
>As your see Lotus off, she stops on your porch. "If you come into work tomorrow without a signed doctors note telling me your fit for it, you're fired."
>"First my mom, now my teacher. Are you gonna go for my old church leader to complete this guild trip of yours?"
>"Don't tempt me." she says as she walks down the trail.
>"See ya later, Lotus."
>"Goodnight, Mous."
>You head back into the living room and are able to sit down for the first time today and lean back.
>It was defiantly nice to have a boss that cared about more than just that you showed up for work.
>You hear Anon step out room and head to the living room.
>"Hey bro." he says as he walks in.
>He takes on look at your face and grimaces. "Rough day?"
>No need to worry him. One person at a time.
>"Nah, I'm good. What's on the agenda for tonight."
>He smirks and heads to his side of the couch. "Troll 2."
>You slap your hand on your face and groan.
>Your pain had only just begun, it seems.

=BiE 15=

>Mous was right, this Gorilla cereal was awful, and people use this to calm themselves down. Baffling.
>You could hear Mous trudge to the bathroom as you eat. You figured he had taken his painkillers after you heard him get home last night, if they had worn off by now then he must be in a shit mood.
>He trudges out of the hallway towards the table you were at. "Rough night?" you ask.
>His face is a frown chipped out of stone, his hair is in tangles and has started to fall over his face as he sat.
>He ran his hair through his hands as he answered. "Not my best, I had to take more pills to get out here. This doctor better have a fix."
>"So, I take it you're not helping in town today?" you ask.
>He turns his gaze up to you. "Help with what?"
>Rainbow told me about it yesterday afternoon." you start. "After a storm like this, the entire town gets together to fix up any damages that might have occurred."
>He lowers his hands and places them on the table. "Was it that bad?" he asks.
>"I didn't see it myself, but Rainbow anticipated some damage. She says they had to go hard on the wind."
>"Is everything in town closed?" he asks.
>You lean back. "I think so. From what Rainbow said, this is a town wide thing until it's all back in order."
>"I'll try and find you after this doctor thing." he says as he looks round the kitchen. "Now, do we have anything to eat that doesn't taste like ass in here?"

>Breakfast went its usual direction. You and Mous talked about what groceries you needed, what movie you each wanted to watch after the inevitably movie night to follow this clean up duty, and speculating about the damage the town had suffered.
>After that, you both went your separate ways, you headed into town while Mous took the path to the local hospital.
>As town came into view, you got a firsthand look at the damage the storm had caused.
>The trees had lost a great deal of branches, all of which were now scattered throughout the town. A few fence had been ripped up and the boards tossed around, It also looked like a tree fell near town hall.
>The whole town was out in force, pegusi were clearing branches off roofs while unicorns and earth ponies were clearing the streets.

>"Yo, Anon!" you hear a familiar voice from above. You look up to see Rainbro Dash descending upon  you.
>Damn, she was falling fast. You start to wonder if she's going to be able to pull up in time.
>A few feet from the ground, Dash pulls up hard and shoots towards you. She misses you by only a few feet, her speed causing her to kick up nearby debris into the air.
>As the debris crashes to the ground around you, you turn back to your bro and laugh. "I thought the idea was to clean up the wreckage Dash, not spread it around."
>She lands with that smug grin of hers. "Don't worry Anon, I'm clearing it off the roads."
>"Yeah right." you say. "You just wanted an excuse to go fast." you say as you extend your fist.
>She laughs as she bumps it with her hoof. "Who says I can't do both?"
>The both of you laugh as you head towards the center of town.

>Most of your day is spent patrolling the town with Rainbow Dash collecting errant twigs, an easy, if time consuming task.
>Rainbow was taking the roofs around town while you were handling the streets, your job was to gather up all the bigger sticks while getting the smaller ones into the grass where they would bio-degrade.
>Along the way, you come up on a row of houses that seem particularly damaged. The houses windows are broken, there are nicks and dings on the siding, and the roofs look haggard. "These places must have taken the brunt of the storm." you say.
>You continue along the row of houses, they were gonna have to get a proper crew out here if they wanted these places fixed up.

>You eventually come up on one particular house near the corner. This house looks like it was hit by a tornado made of hammers for all the damage done to it. Every window was broken, the door was battered and dented, as you turned the corner itself you saw that a fence post had impaled itself in the side of the wall several feet from the ground.
>"Damn!" you exclaim as you check out the plank. It had gone clean through the entire wall almost halfway before it stopped. "How the hell do you think this happened?" you ask as you turn to Rainbow.
>She puts a hoof to her chin and looks around the alley you were in. "Okay, see how we're in this little alley on the corner?" she asks. You nod as you look around. "Okay, well, these corners and the high roofs probably turned this place into a tiny wind tunnel. If that fence post got caught in here, then it could go fast enough to break through that wall easy."
>Wow. You were impressed. "Why Rainbow Dash, I didn't take you for a physicist." she blushes and turns away. "Yeah, well, I have to be on top of this stuff as the best flyer around."
>You chuckle and turn back to the post, an idea entering your mind.
>You turn back to Rainbow. "Hey, Dash, think we can break this thing out?

>Rainbow gives you a quizzical look. "Why, dude?"
>You turn back to the post and begin to inspect the area of impact. "Because picking up sticks is boring and we can help the cleanup crew?" you say. Hmm. This post went in on an angle, it should be in perfect breaking condition.
>You press down on the far end of the post. Nothing.
>You needed more force. You push down on the post again, this time lifting your feet off the ground and letting the post take all the weight.
>Still nothing.
>You prop yourself on a nearby barrel and stand on the post, it's wide enough for you to keep your footing on.
>"Are you sure that's a good idea bro? you hear Rainbow ask. "It's fine." You say as you grab the gutter for support. You look back down at the post "It's on now." you say as you start jumping on it.
>This post was going to break if it was the last thing you did.
>You keep jumping the increased in both intensity and frequency. Dammit, what was in this wood?
>"Bro, take it easy!" you hear Rainbow call out. Fuck that, your needed to see how much it took to break this wood.
>One particularly high jump is all it takes. Your feet hit the post and it snaps in its hole.
>For a brief moment, you are elated in your success. That feeling is quickly overwritten by panic as you remember that you were standing on that.
>You try to hold on to the gutter only for that to come tearing off as well.
>Shit
>"Anon!" you hear Rainbow cry as you fall.
>You appreciate the concern, but there was no way even she could close that distance in time.
>You fall back and your head makes a crack that resounds through the alleyway as it hits the nearby barrel.

>You think you hear Rainbow Dash calling your name but you can't really tell.
>Everything looks kinda wavy.
>The back of your head hurts.
>You reach back and feel your head.
>It feels wet.
>Warm, too.
>You feel your shirt getting tugged.
>It eventually gets pulled over your head.
>Wait. did it take that long? It didn't feel that long.
>You hear someone shouting.
>Something soft is hitting your face.
>It smells like sweat.
>You remember Rainbow smelled like sweat a lot after training.
>Rainbow...weren't you with her today?
>"Anon!" you think you hear her say.
>Anon? That wasn't your name, your name wa-
>Wait.
>You took Anon as your name when you got to Equestria.
>You were living with Mous.
>Today was the day you were helping clean up after the storm.
>"Anon!" you hear again.
>You were trying to break a fence post.
>"Anon! If you're dying, I'll kick your flank!" you hear as another hoof belts you across the face.

>Ow! Shit. "Dash!" you call out.
>"Anon?" you hear. You turn to see her. Her magenta eyes are wide with worry.
>"Yeah, I'm fine." you say. "What happened?" you look down at your now bare chest. "And what happened to my shirt?"
>She turns her head away before you get a chance to look back in her face. 
>Why are her wings standing up? "I wrapped your head in your shirt after you nailed yourself on that barrel!" she points a hoof to the offending barrel. "What, was I just supposed to let you bleed all over yourself?".
>Shit. You feel the back of your head and look at your hand: red as all hell.
>"Crap, Dash, we need to get back to town and get me patch up." you say.
>Dash wheels around and wriggles under your shoulder. "No problem Anon! I gotcha."
>Getting up is a bit of a challenge, but you make good speed once you're on your feet.
>"Can't believe I got myself this bad." you say. You see Rainbow look up at you "Do you do this kinda stuff often?"
>A chuckle escapes you. "I don't intentionally do this stuff often, no." you say as you wind your way through the streets. "But sometimes, I get so caught up in figuring out something that I kinda stop paying attention to other stuff. Usually, Mous is there to reel me back in before something like this happens."
>Rainbow Dash's head drops. "Don't worry Dash, your new to the hole 'bro' thing, you're doing great right now." you motion to her helping you walk.
>"Yeah...sure thing...bro..."

=BiE 16=

>Hospital smell isn't new to you.
>You've been in them often enough, usually by Anon dragging you to them after you got yourself hurt.
>You sat in the exam room waiting for this doctor.
>The painkillers you took earlier had been keeping a lid on your pain.
>This "Horse M.D." was taking his sweet time getting here.
>At this rate, you were going to heal before he showed up.
>This room wasn't too different from ones back on Earth.
>Anatomical posters of various body parts hung around the room.
>A mock skeleton was in the corner.
>A doctor was walking in the door.
>Wait, shit.
>"What's up, doc?"
>Nice. That shit would get you smacked back on Earth.
>"Hello, Mr. Mous. What seems to be the problem?" he asks.
>This guy has some ridiculous hair.
>It's all red and poofy.
>He asked you a question, dude.
>You snap back to reality.
>"I got clawed up pretty good by a manticore a few days ago, I got fixed up by some tribal goo a friend of mine made, but it still hurts pretty bad."
>These painkillers are making you weird.
>Had to stay on top of that.

>The doctor looks over a form you saw the nurse filling out.
>"Hmm...Well, let's take a look, shall we?" he says as he makes his way over to you.
>That's your cue.
>You hop off the examination table and remove your shirt.
>The doctor makes his way behind you.
>You can hear him sighing, thinking, everything but telling you why you were in pain.
>It eventually becomes too much to bare.
>"So, what's the damage doc?"
>"Did you see what kinda of treatment this friend of yours gave you?" he asks.
>You had apparently lost a lot of blood that night, you didn't remember much after you got hit.
>"No, I was pretty out of it after the manticore got me."
>"Hmm...I'm going to have to take some blood for a quick test." he says.
>Great. Needles.
>You don't like needles.
>"Alright, fine."
>You roll up your sleeve, gotta bite the bullet here.
>The doctor looks at you. "In order to confirm the theory I have, I need a blood sample from as close to the wound as possible."
>...bite the bullet here.

>Fifteen minutes later, you're laying on the examination table trying to rid your body of the pain it had been through.
>That idiot doctor had missed the vein three times.
>Being stabbed in an already painful wound wasn't a fun time.
>That general anesthetic hadn't done shit.
>You're thinking about how you would go about burning down a hospital when the doctor returns.
>"Does it still hurt?" he asks.
>A grunt through gritted teeth was all the reply he was going to get.
>You were gonna kill him.
>You were gonna rip that fucking stupid hair off his fucking head and force feed it down his fucking throat.
>"Well, I can see why. Your blood tests showed us why you're in so much pain." he says.
>Is it because you're fucking incompetent you idiot ha-
>"You were poisoned."
>Wait, what?

>You turn to give him your full attention.
>Zecora didn't seem the type to poison someone she never met.
>"What?"
>The doctor looks at his clipboard again.
>"Manticores have a poison they use the incapacitate their prey. The one that hurt you must have had it running through its claws when it hit you.
>He puts down the clipboard and prods you to sit up.
>He rotates a mirror to show you your back scars.
>Three jagged marks are carved into your back, one glowing an angry red after being stabbed repeatedly with a sharp needle.
>He raises a hoof to your back. "When the manticore slashed you, it released a poison into your wounds to paralyze you."
>That must have been why you were so out of it when Anon dragged you to Zecora's.
>"Whatever treatment you took closed up your wounds, yes, but also trapped the poison inside you. The pain you feel is your nerves inflaming around the infected areas."

>Well shit.
>Poisoned.
>That's never happened before.
>"Can you fix it?"
>Okay. Fuck.
>This could be serious.
>This could be "stop your heart" serious.
>You can't die yet.
>Not before Anon.
>"Stop worrying." the doc says.
>Fuck.
>Was it that obvious?
>"We wouldn't live near a manticore's habitat without having some sort of antitoxin." he says smiling.
>He starts writing on a small notepad and rips the piece of paper off it.
>"Give that to the pharmacy to pick up your antitoxin pills. Take them three times a day with water." he says, handing the prescription to you.
>"What about my pain?" you ask. 
>Don't want to not get treated for the reason you're here.
>"The pain should subside when the swelling goes down, take those pills and that should happen in about a week." he says as he walks out the door "Have a nice day Mr. Mous."
>He shuts the door before you can answer.

>You're walking in to town holding your antitoxins and a fresh bottle of painkillers in a bag.
>You had taken your first dose on antitoxin as well as some painkillers already.
>Feels good man.
>Feels REALLY good.
>You've been in pain for the past few days, to be rid of it felt incredible.
>Damn.
>The town got FUCKED UP.
>Everything was broken and shit.
>Ponies were flying around and running all over the place.
>You should help, probably.
>But how?
>You try to find Twilight, she'll know what needs to get done.
>You wave at Derpy as you walk by and get a wave and a smile back.
>Derpy was so cool.
>Shit, you could really go for some of her muffins right now.
>You wonder if you'll run into Lotus, you wanna give her your clean bill of health.
>You come up on Twilight's tree house thing.
>There's Twilight and everyone else outside, Twilight was probably coordinating everything again.
>But she isn't coordinating, it looks like.
>She's walking around Anon, it looks like.
>Anon looks like he's sitting on a box.
>Was he...bleeding?

>Big Bro mode: Engaged.
>Anything that was on your mind is pushed to the side as you stomp over to Anon.
>Applejack hears you approach and starts walking towards you.
>"Well, howdy ther-"
>"Move."
>You don't have time for her shit right now.
>You blow past her and approach Anon.
>He's getting bandaged up around his head.
>You grab his chin and turn it up before he can talk.
>"Uh...dude?" he starts.
>"Look at me."
>Twilight and the girls stand in shocked silence as you examine Anon.
>You turn his head to get a look at the back of it.
>Bloody, a small gash on the back of his head was the cause.
>"Bro!" Anon shouts and he waves you off him.
>You crouch down and meet his eyes as he turns back.
>You hold up a finger.
>"Follow."
>No chances, he could be concussed.
>His eyes are narrow in annoyance, but he follows your guide all the same.
>Satisfied, you stand up again.
>"How did this happen?"
>"Dude, it's nothing, I'm getti-"
>"How?" you interrupt.
>He was your bro, you had to protect him.
>You can do that if he's bullshitting you.
>He still looks pissed.
>"I was out cleaning up debris on the edge of town, I started goofing off and hit my head on a barrel, you happy?" he says.
>Your eyes drift to Rainbow Dash.
>She looks guilty.
>Of course these two were together, they're best friends.
>But you were his Bro.

>You could care less that Dash was there, you got the answer you needed.
>You could push the point, but that would just get him pissed off and make him lie to you when this happened again.
>You let out a sigh.
>"You can't be so reckless, bro."
>His good cheer seems to return to his face
>"Excuse me? This coming from the manticore wrestler?" he says as Twilight finishes wrapping his bandages.
>"That's different. I can take a manticore, barrels are too far out of your league." you quip.
>"Oh please! Which of us had to go to the hospital because he couldn't take his old man back problems?" he shouts with a smile.
>With the situation back in friendly territory, the two of you plus the girls get to work on the town.
>With everypony working, you finish before sunset.
>Rainbow heads back to your apartment for the most recent movie night.
>Tonight was Terminator's I and II.
>Rainbow liked the chase on the motorcycle, good times were had by all.
>She left shortly after the second movie, work in the morning.
>You popped some of your pills in your mouth as you got ready for bed.
>"Yo, bro." Anon stopped you in the hall as he was taking off his bandage.
>"Hmm?"
>"What was the deal in town today? You kinda freaked." he said.
>Great. This.
>Best to just get it out there.
>"I'm the older bro here, it's my job to protect you."
>Anon leaned against the wall. "Well isn't that sweet? I'm only two years younger than you dude, I can handle myself."
>Shit. You knew.
>But you've been protecting this kid since you were seven.
>"Sorry..."
>You don't wait for him to respond, you just head inside and go to bed.

>You awake to, what a surprise, the sun in your face.
>You grumble as you rise from your slumber.
>That sun has ruined your fun for far too long.
>Gentleman? How do we kill the sun?
>You know the sun personally.
>You probably have a sexual assault case on the sun.
>You guess you could travel to Canterlot, fight off all her guards, no doubt have to fight her sister, and then actually kill her to remove the sun.
>...
>That sounds like a crazy amount of work.
>You look at your clock; 12:15.
>That is way too much work for this hour on your day off.
>Why the fuck were you up anyway? You weren't scheduled to come in today.
>You lay your head back on your pillow and begin to drift off to sleep again...
>You are interrupted by a trio of bangs on your door.
>"Yo! Mous! Wake up man!"
>You throw yourself out of bed and make for the door.
>You consider caving Anon's head in with a nearby model before you open the door.
>No...
>Learn what he wants first, then bash his brains in with a Scout Titan.
>You swing open the door and give him your best glare.
>"WHAT!?"
>He jumps back at your sudden outburst, but a smile is quick to form on his face.
>"Good morning to you too, dude." he says with a giggle.
>If your glare could kill someone, it would be doing it now.

>You bring yourself back from the simmering rage you were at.
>"What. Do you want. Anon." you spit out.
>You've known him for over a decade, he better fucking know you hate waking up by now.
>He leans against the wall and grins at you.
>"I was wondering if you wanted to go to town with me today, we're both off and I have some shit to do." he says.
>"Get Rainbow to go."
>Maybe that pegasus could finally come out and fucking say it and these two would leave you to sleep all day in peace.
>"Rainbow is in Cloudsdale for till tomorrow, just you and me." he retorts.
>Silence falls in the hallway as you bury your face in your hand.
>Anon eventually speaks up again.
>"C'mon bro, please?"
>Damn his eyes. He knew you were gonna fold.
>You really wanted to sleep in.
>But hanging out with Anon would be cool.
>"The last time we hung out together, I got mauled."
>"So think of how easy it will be to do better than that!" he says spreading his arms wide.
>You peek through your hand to glare at him.
>His smile is still wide as a mile.
>"...give me a half hour."
>Anon crosses his arms and rolls his eyes. "Slowpoke."
>You'd punch him or something, but you were already on your way to the kitchen.

>You pick through your cupboards, what was there to eat here?
>Fruit? No. Applejacks are still not proven safe. Gorilla Munch isn't fit for dogs.
>You knew what you needed to get you through this.
>Some mother bucking pancakes.
>You were amazed that the ponies here had pancakes.
>You were even more amazed that they had pancakes that came in a box, you had expected them to only have batter.
>You throw them in your microwave and head to the bathroom while you wait.
>This was the last day you needed these Antitoxins, your pain had nearly faded away.
>You pop one in your mouth and pocket the bottle for later, not bothering with the painkillers.
>Your food is done and you sit down to eat, Anon already sitting across from you as he held his head up with his hands.
>"Are you just gonna sit there and watch me eat until we go?"
>"Yep." was his response.
>You sit down and start eating your delectable prize for being up at this hour.
>You only saved pancakes for important days.
>You finish your meal and start to head to the shower.
>"You think they can fix Rainbow at the hospital?" Anon asks.
>That took you by surprise.
>"What's wrong with her?"
>You were concerned. Rainbow was a friend.
>"Lately, I've been seeing her wings get real stiff all of a sudden. I think she may have some sort of paralysis."
>You bang your head against the wall in frustration.
>Dammit. Anon was the smartest guy you knew, he's not allowed to be this dumb.
>You walk into your room and grab your anatomy book.
>School was in session, bitch.
>You flip to the section on pegusi wings.
>"Read."
>You don't wait for a response.

-Anon PoV-
>Damn, what jittered his critters?
>You turn to the book and flip through some of the pages.
>You had no idea what this had to do with Dash, but you'd humor Mous.
>Pegusi wings can carry up to 200 pounds...blah blah blah...feathers mold every summer.
>This was stupid.
>You were worried about your friend, why learn about basic statistics?
>You skip ahead a few pages.
>Hollow bones, protected by innate magic. 
>Main bones run along the outer edge with smaller ones inside, muscle and skin stretched over them.
>Bones are hollow.
>They have primary blood vessels the same way that you had in your legs.
>What did this have to do with anything?!
>You're worrying about your friend's health and your bro hands you a book of useless facts? What is this?
>You're about to close the book when you get to a section that catches your eye "Wing Phenomena"
>Your interest re-ignited, you dive back into the text.
>Genetic deformities where wings grow in backwards...horrible, but no...wings locking up in flight.
>You come to one phrase that causes you to stop.
>"Optera Tumesence"
>You go through your knowledge of scientific phrasing to try and decipher this thing.
>"Swollen Wing" That sounded promising.
>"Pegusi wings can become swollen for a variety of reasons, be they from injury, or poor diet." the book read.
>Rainbow didn't look hurt and apart from booze, her diet was phenomenal.
>"While pegusi wings are sensitive normally, they become doubly so in this state." it continued.
>So her wings were hurting? You continued reading.
>"While pegusi wings can become swollen for many reasons, the most common is seems to be due to arousal."
>Okay, so it looks like Rainbow's wings were always stiff because she was really turned on, that's a relief.
>Whoawaitwhat?

-Mous PoV-

>You step into your room and toss on some clothes.
>You weren't dressing to impress here; tee shirt and cargo pants it is.
>You walk out into the living room and take a quick glance at Anon.
>He looked like his brain just imploded.
>"I take it you figured it out."
>He looks up at you, his eyes were still wide.
>"Hehe...yeah. "Arousal" huh? Nuts. Who do you think is causing it?" he says.
>"Huh?"
>"Who do you think is getting Rainbow so turned on?" he asks again.
>Oohhh...
>No.
>Dammit, no.
>You showed him the book, why can't he put two and two together?
>Whatever, baby steps here.
>"I dunno dude, let's get going."
>You hate lying to Anon, but you'd rather not have to explain this situation to him.
>You both step outside into the Equestrian sun.
>You try not to glare at the object that constantly wakes you up as you head to the path.
>"So what are we headed to town for?"
>"Groceries, mostly. I could also do with a new notepad for work." Anon says.
>"You went through that big ass notebook that fast?"
>Anon shrugs. "Hey, I'm a research assistant."
>The both of you continue walking until you see a floating mass of grey and yellow a bit further down.

>There she is.
>"Hey! Derpy!"
>The mailmare spins around at the sound of her name and flutters towards you.
>Her smile is infectious.
>"Hey, Anon and Mous!" she shouts.
>"Hey Derpy."
>"Hi Derpy."
>"Why are you two headed into town?" she asked as she fell in line with the two of you.
>"Groceries, we're low."
>"How about you, Derpy?" Anon asks.
>"Oh, you know, gotta get these letters out. Especially with tomorrow being what it is."
>Tomorrow?
>What's special about it?
>You think, it was mid February, and you know these ponies had an analogue for Valentines.
>Wasn't it called...
>"Heart's and Hooves day?"
>"That's one thing!" Derpy beams.
>You're about to ask her about that when Anon jumps in.
>"You have any letters there from you Derpy? Maybe to someone you have your eye on?" he chides.
>Derpy blushes and turns away. "Hehe. No, no special stallions in my life."
>"That doesn't mean squat, don't think I haven't seen the looks you give that stallion at the clock store." 
>Derpy blushes harder at your teasing.
>A quick look to Anon tells him to keep your little meeting with the clock store stallion to yourselves.
>Derpy can find out about Time Lords when she's ready.

>Derpy parts company with you two as you enter town.
>You even get a hug goodbye this time.
>That's new...
>As the two of you make your way to the market, you're stopped by someone else calling your name.
>"Mous!"
>Goddammit, who noWHOASHIT.
>FUCK.
>LYRA.
>ABORTABORTABORT.
>You panic as the mint green mare canters up to you both with a cream coated earth pony following her.
>"Mous! Hey! I didn't expect to see you in town!" she calls.
>The earth pony looked pissed.
>"Oh. Hi Lyra. Who's your friend?" you say through gritted teeth.
>Gotta keep this conversation short.
>This mare looks pissed.
>"I'm Bon Bon." she said.
>"Bon Bon is my-" Lyra started.
>"We're together." Bon Bon finished.
>Holy shit. Did her voice just change.
>A glance to Anon shows that he saw it too.
>TIMETOGO.
>"WELLLYRAITWASNICETALKINGTOYOUWEHAVETOGONOW!" you say as you grab Anon and leg it.
>"Mous! Wait up!" you hear her call.
>You're around the corner before she finishes.

>"Did you hear her voice!?" Anon shouts as you walk.
>"Yeah, dude."
>"What's the deal with that!?"
>"I have no idea, but being around Lyra is rarely a good thing."
>You both continue walking.
>"So...what's Lyra's deal?" Anon asks.
>"I don't know, she's obsessed with humans, apparently. Something about our hands."
>You wiggle your fingers as you say that.
>"Does she always find you like that?" he asks.
>"She comes into the spa at least ten times a week."
>Anon is silent for a minute.
>"What are you gonna do?" he asks.
>He's right. You had to do something.
>Seeing Lyra a dozen times a week wasn't fucking working.
>"I dunno, man."
>You'll think of something later, you had shit to do.
>The Ponyville market had everything, you just had to know where to look.
>You grab Anon by the shoulder and turn him to you.
>"Split up, grab your shit, meet back here in twenty." you say with accompanying hand movements.
>"Gotcha." Anon says as he heads off.
>You make your way around the stalls.
>Some bread here, grapes there.
>You pay the mare behind the counter.
>Next is your delicious pancakes.
>You grab as many boxes as will fit and pay the...mare.
>You have everything you need and start to head back.
>On your way, you begin to notice something off...

>You meet back with Anon in the center of the market.
>"Book store next?" you ask.
>He smiles. "Nah, they had some notepads on the other end of the plaza. I picked up a few."
>The two of you share a fist bump at your good fortune and head for home.
>Anon speaks up when you're out of town.
>"Hey...about the market...did you notice..."
>"...all the mares?
>"And there being NO stallions?
>"And how the market was way less crowded then usual?"
>It was a bit rare for the two of you to get on this wavelength. 
>Usually, one of you had to explain it to the other.
>"What was the deal with that?"
>"I have no clue dude, I've never heard of anything like that." Anon said.
>Maybe it was some weird pony thing. Like Penguin migrations or something.

>You arrive back at the house.
>Check the clock; 2:15.
>You were too wired now, can't get back to sleep.
>Your perfect day of absolute sloth has been ruined.
>You turn to Anon.
>"...day drinking?"
>He smiles. "You're on."
>Anon heads to the kitchen to grab the booze as you hit the lights and start a movie.
>'Lady in the Water'? Why did you even own this?
>You and Anon take your places on the couch as the movie starts.
>"So, lesbian ponies."
>"I know right!" he cries.
>After a marathon run of movies, booze, and whatever conversation you could grasp at, the both of you are so far gone they need a map to find you.
>Sleepin on the couch tonight.
>Anon is passed out on the couch, drooling again.
>That fucker could never handle his alcohol.
>You grab the remote in your mentally disheveled state and mash buttons until the room is pitch black.
>You settle in as you drift off to sleep.
>Anon had woken your ass up on your fucking day off so that you could help him get groceries.
>Still...
>This was good.

=BiE 18=

>You were Rainbow Dash, and you just got back into town.
>You'd been gone for a few days and boy, did you feel it.
>Cloudsdale was cool and all, but all your friends were in Ponyville.
>It was also Hearts and Hooves Day, and you had a plan.
>You were gonna march right up to Anon's house, look him straight in the eye and do...something.
>Buck. This was harder then you thought.
>What did humans even do for this kind of thing? What if Anon was some sort of stud and had this happen all the time?
>You're cursing through town when you smell something foul.
>"Oh gross!"
>You start to look for the source of the smell when you spot a large group of ponies headed through town square.
>You fly high to get a better look, all of them seem to be really happy, but their eyes are kinda glossed over. 
>You notice something else weird; all of them were mares. You see Applejack, Fluttershy, even Pinkie Pie is bouncing around in the crowd.
>"Man, what is up?" you fly closer to try and ask and you notice that the smell gets worse the closer you get.
>Just then, your wings seize up and you begin to fall.
>You right yourself quickly and land on a nearby roof as the horde of mares moves past you.
>"Man, what now!?" your wings never did this, the only time they did was when you were...
>Oh buck.
>All the mares, the season, Hearts and Hooves day.
>"It can't be! It's way too early!"
>You look in the directions the mares were headed. Right towards Anon and Mous's house.
>That proves it.
>You take off as fast as you can, you HAD to get there before they all did. 

>You were Anon and you were having a wonderful time being asleep.
>It being quiet and dark in your living room was a plus too.
>It was great to just hang out with Mous yesterday, but he had always been able to drink you under the table.
>You're nursing your hangover in comfortable silence when something starts banging at your door.
>You groan as you roll over and try to ignore the sound, fucking Celestia's Witness can piss off right now.
>Despite your best efforts, the knocking continues. 
>You can hear Mous groaning as he no doubt tries to do the same as you and block the noise out.
>Eventually, it becomes too much for him. "WWWHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!?" he shouts with enough fury to practically blow out the windows.
>Fuck! That is not helping your hangover! "Dude!" you cry out. "WHAT!?" Mous yelled back, obviously still pissed at being woken up.
>He hated being woken up.
>"Guys! It's me! You gotta open up!" Huh? Rainbow? "Is that Rainbow?" you ask as you rise from the couch. "I don't fucking know." Mous says as he shoots up. "Hang on."
>You hear Mous grumble about being woken up two days in a row as he unlatches the door.
>Rainbow Dash cannonballs past Mous and into the living room "Do those windows lock? Is there enough food here? How fast can you guys run?" she starts asking at a mile a minute.
>Mous slams the door and causes your hangover to flare again. "Rainbow Dash, you have thirty seconds to tell me why you are here waking us up before I take my hangover rage out on you." he spits as he trudges into the living room.

>"C'mon Dash, tell us what's up." you say.
>Dash still looks upset. "We need to get out of here." she says turning to you.
>Mous pinched the bridge of his nose. "Why." Rainbow turned back to him. "Because it's happening! Right now!" Mous's eyes went wide as his frustration mounted. "My Friday getting ruined!?" he shouted.
>You step between the two of them. "Whoa!" you say as you try and get Rainbow and Mous to back down. Dealing with these two going at it was not on your to-do list.
>You turn and look Rainbow in the eyes. "What's going on Rainbow?" She's still on edge, eyes wide and darting around the room. "There's no time! They're gonna be here any minute and we have to you both out!" she cried.
>"Rainbow." you start as you take a few steps towards her, it must be the light because her face looks a bit darker. "We can't just start running somewhere without knowing what we're running from." you say. "I'd prefer a straight fight anyhow." Mous says. 
>You turn to your bro. "Like the manticore?" his frown deepens and he shrinks back. "Come on, this could be serious." 
>"What's going on, Dash?" you ask. She brings a hoof to her face. "Fine, if you won't come along otherwise, it's Estrus season."
>"What's an Estrus?" you ask. Her face is darker again...
>"Estrus season..." she begins. "I-It happens to mares around this time every year.  Our brains get all messed up a-and all we can focus on is..." she mumbles something under her breath and turns her head away. You lean in a bit closer. "Focus on what, Rainbow?" She looks back at the two of you, you've never seen her this nervous. "M-mating. All we can focus on is mating."

>"Oh hell..." you hear Mous say behind you.
>Pony mating season...wow. You didn't even know they had a mating season.
>But still, it must be normal for them. "So...why are you here? Shouldn't you be out trying to find some fit young stallion?" you ask.
>You hear Mous sigh about something again as Rainbow speaks. "T-that's just it, the stallions have left. Every Estrus season, the available stallions either leave or barricade themselves indoors until everything is back to normal.
>A bunch of males of a species turning away from all of their females going into heat? That doesn't sound like the biology you knew.
>"Why would they do that?" you ask.
>Rainbow's face is still acting weird as she lands and explains. "Well...some mares can become a little...intense during Estrus." she says.
>Okay...so these ponies get so worked up that they chase away all the males every year? Harsh.
>"So why are you here, Rainbow? What's this have to do with us?" you ask. Rainbow jumps up on the couch to look at you both at eye level. "Because you two are the only males of any species left in the entire town! I can't just leave you here!"
>This mare. Looking out for you even when the town goes nuts.
>Mous walks away as you continue. "Thanks Bro, that means a ton." you give her a quick hug and try to suppress the laugh you get when you see her shocked face. "But still, I doubt we're in danger. The ponies here like us, but I doubt they're gonna try and molest us or something."
>"I wouldn't be so sure." You hear Mous say. 
>You turn to see Mous looking out the door's peephole. "Why, bro?"
>"Because I'm pretty sure the entire town is outside." he says.

>Oh shit.
>You run up to the peephole and look out.
>Fuck. There had to be at least two hundred mares out on the trail heading towards your house.
>"They can't all be here for us." you say as you scope out the herd outside. "Why else would they all come out here, dude?"
>You pull back from the peephole. Okay, this was happening.
>Fuck.
>"What do we do?" you ask. Mous thinks for a minute.
>"Okay, go get changed. Put on something with pocket space, a T-shirt, and some running shoes. Grab a jacket too."
>You run back to your room and hear Mous step into his. You think you hear Rainbow come fluttering in as you remove your shirt, but she's in the hall when you look. "S-so, you're just gonna trust Mous on this?" she asks. "Mous has always been the quick thinker." you say. "He's the best guy to have during a crises."
>You throw on your jacket and head back to the door, Mous walking out of his room shortly after you. "So, what's the plan?" you ask.
>He looks through the peephole as he talks. "I want you and Rainbow to head out through the rear window in your room, run for Whitetail woods. Rainbow, how long does Estrus last?" "About four or five days if it's this early." she says. "If today is day one, stay in the woods all weekend. I'll come find you if it lasts for less than that." he says.
>"Wait, you're not coming?" you ask.
>He better not be doing what you thin-
>"Rainbow, take care of him." he says as he opens the door and walks out.
>That mutherfu-

-Mous PoV-
Music - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VAZsf8mTfyk
>You shut the door.
>Okay. Show time.
>Anon would be pissed that you were doing this, but you can handle it.
>And if not. It's your job to protect him.
>You start walking away from your door towards the approaching mares.
>Damn, they were all here.
>Roseluck and her sisters, Applejack, Fluttershy, you saw Pinkie Pie hopping around in the rear somewhere. Even Derpy wasn't immune to the Estrus effects it seemed.
>The mares were closing in, you could see their glazed over eyes already.
>Had to stop them here, you really hoped this works...
>You unsheathe your knife and throw it down on the ground in front of you.
>Big boy voice time.
>"I KILL EVERYTHING I FUCK!" 
>The mares in front suddenly stop running.
>The mares behind them trip over those in front and fall down.
>Eventually, a parameter of mares is established some forty feet out.
>Heh. That got 'em.

-Anon PoV-
>He did not just do that.
>Did he just do that?
>You can't believe he just did that.
>"Should we help him?" Rainbow asks.
>You turn and lean against the door as you think.
>Mous knew what he was doing, that much is clear.
>He wouldn't go out without a plan, right?
>You remind yourself that he was drunk last night, he was probably just winging this.
>Perfect...
>You remind yourself of your own hangover as you try to decide your course of action.
>"Mous can take care of himself, he bought us the chance to run and we should use it."
>You make for the window in your room.
>Once you get it open, you get to enjoy the ecstasy of trying to climb through a small window with a hangover.
>You eventually get out and fall on your face.
>You really wish you could just lay there, but it's time to move.
>You watch as Rainbow just flies through that you busted your balls to get through with annoyance before you break into a run.
>You make for the tree line behind your house as you try to stay out of sight of any wandering mares.
>You can still hear Mous shouting from the other side of the house, though you can't make anything out.
>You turn to Rainbow "Let's go."

>It seemed that indeed EVERY mare in town had headed over to your house.
>You make good time to the woods, taking a chance that all the mares would still be at the house as you crossed through town.
>Whitetail woods' premier attraction may be the Running of the Leaves in fall, but it's no worse in the late winter.
>The lack of leaves however, doesn't do wonders for your need for cover. You and Rainbow have to head doubly deep into the woods to find a suitable camp site.
>You eventually find a small cave in a hill, a stream enough for water and you can see Sweet Apple Acres from the top.
>You're sure the Apple's wouldn't mind if you nicked a couple of their crop in your hour of need.
>Especially since one of them was just outside your home trying to solicit you.
>Rainbow flies up to you, she looks on edge for some reason. "You okay, bro?" you ask. "Hehe...yeah." she says with a small smile. "I'm gonna go get some firewood." she says before she bolts off.
>You use the time to wash your face off in the stream. The cold water breaks up your hangover almost as fast as liquid rainbow did.
>Your mind goes back to what Mous did.
>You remember when he saved your ass from a Rottweiler back when you were ten, and when he chased a bunch of pricks with his mother's car because they were picking on you.
>All that and he's still able to stare all those ponies in the face and stop them like that.
>You laugh as you remember who you're thinking about; Mous was way too stubborn to be dragged away by a group of horny mares.
>Yeah...you're sure he's fine...

-Mous PoV-
>Holy shit.
>This was working.
>Nopony was taking a step towards the house.
>None of them wanted to be the one to find out if you were kidding.
>Might as well capitalize on it.
>You open your arms wide as you speak.
>"All right now! I'm glad that we've come to an understanding."
>You gesture behind you to your house.
>"I'm going to go back inside now. If I catch anypony inside..."
>You turn and take a few steps before looking over your shoulder back at the crowd that had gathered.
>"...I'll assume the worst and open you up like a piñata."
>You scoop you knife up from the ground and make for the door.
>This was probably the only time that something invoking David Bowie's name was used to REPEL females.
>You step inside your house and close the door.
>You immediately look outside the peephole to ensure that you didn't have a stampede of sex crazed mares to deal with.
>You can see everypony talking amongst themselves.
>All of them look afraid.
>Some of them are even shouting with fear in their eyes.
>"Oh come on, I'm not that scary."
>You shake your head as that moment of idiocy passes.
>Come on Mous, this is what you want.
>Wait for it...
>...
>YES!
>They're leaving! They're all leaving!
>You pump your fist at your plan working.
>This was great, all you had to do was stay holed up over the weekend and get Anon and you're home free.
>Your victory is interrupted by a crash coming from Anon's room.
>Knife in hand, you inch your way back to intercept any mares who might have broken in.
>You leap through the doorway and spot...
>Aloe and Lotus laying on the floor?
>"Bosses?"
>"Mous!" they call out in unison.

>What the shit?
>Why were your bosses here in your...
>Oh no...
>"Mous! It's...so nice to see you." Lotus says as she gets herself upright.
>"Yeah! Hehe...really nice..." Aloe says right after.
>Aw no.
>No no no.
>"How did you two get in here?"
>You back away, have to keep them at a distance.
>"Oh...we found that open window and let ourselves in" Lotus says.
>Fucking hell Anon. You left the window open.
>Gotta get em out.
>"You two..."
>You set your knife down on the nearby table.
>"Really shouldn't be here."
>"Yeah, we heard your speech outside." Aloe said with a smile.
>Lotus steps forward.
>"You forget Mous, we know you. We know you won't actually hurt us."
>Shiiiit. They were right. At least about them.
>You liked your job, you liked your bosses. You really don't want to hurt them.
>You continue backing up until you can think of a plan.
>You trip over the fucking table and land on your ass, Aloe and Lotus don't miss a beat.
>They begin to walk to either side of you as you sit there dumbfounded.
>"Sooo...Mous. How are we going to do this? Lotus says drawing close.

>"Shall I go first?" she says as she tries to nuzzle your face.
>"Or maybe me?" Aloe smirks as she closes in on your other side.
>Lotus steps over your stomach to her sister.
>"Or perhaps..."
>...did she just lick her?
>"Together?"
>You tune out their giggling as you try to think.
>Okay. Fuck. You need an emergency plan.
>Could you...? Best you got.
>You crack a nervous smile and bring your hands up behind each of their heads.
>You start to rub the backs of their necks...people did that in these situations, right?
>"Mmmmmm...Mous, it was a good thing we taught you the art of the massage...this will be heavenly..." Lotus said.
>"Y-Yeah..."
>Work your way up a bit...NOW!
>You grab the both of them by their hair and bolt down the hall as fast as your legs can carry you
>BATHROOM! QUICK!
>You toss one of the sisters, you can't even tell which one, into the bathroom and quickly shut the door.
>You start hauling it to Anon's bathroom as the remaining sister wriggles in your grasp.
>"Mous! Stop! This hurts!" she cries.
>NOT NOW.
>You toss her in the bathroom and jam a nearby chair under the handle. Hooves or no, you can't risk them getting out.
>You run to the other bathroom and do the same just as the pony inside was figuring out the lock.
>"Mous!" "Let us out!" you hear them yell as you sink back onto the wall.
>"YOU'LL COME OUT WHEN YOU AREN'T TRYING TO SEDUCE ME!" you shout.
>Fuck, are you rustled. Deep breaths...
>Okay...
>Two sex crazed mares that you happen to work for locked in your bathrooms for the next three days and you can't risk them getting out?
>You can do this.

-Anon PoV-
>Day turned to night as your first day with Rainbow in the woods came to a close.
>You had grabbed a few apples from Sweet Apple Acres and the fire was crackling away.
>Conversation was null as you just poked at the fire and Rainbow sat a small distance away.
>Her wings were swollen again, what's the deal with that?
>"You okay Bro?" you can see her head sink after you ask. "Yeah...Anon. I'm fine."
>"You sure? You can come sit by the fire." you offer. Rainbow Dash looks back at you with a frown. "I don't think that's a good idea Anon." Huh? "Why not?" She gets up and trots over to you, she looked pissed. "Because I'm a mare too, Anon. The Estrus is starting to affect me too." she looks a bit sad with that last bit...
>"Is that why..." you point up to her wings. She sighs and just stares at the fire. "No, that's not because of the Estrus." You scoot a bit closer to comfort your bro."I, uh...I read about pegusi wings. I...know why they get like that." This isn't weird at all. "So...who's the lucky stallion?"
>Rainbow just looks at you with sad eyes. "It's not a stallion, Anon."
>Whoa. Uh. You probably should have guessed, RAINBOW Dash and all. "That's cool, so, what's her name? Do I know her?"
>Rainbow lifts off from her seat by the fire and flies to the mouth of the cave. "It's not a pony, Anon."
>Guess interspecies was a thing here, you had heard that Dash had a Griffin friend, so it must be sort of common.
>"Well, that's cool too, you can't help who you like." she's getting more frustrated though you can't imagine why."So, you still haven't said wh-"
>"Anon, it's you."

=BiE 19=

>You wake up with your face on a log.
>You had elected not to sleep in the cave with Rainbow Dash after last nights...revelations.
>You had been thinking about it well into the morning until you fell asleep.
>Looking back  it had been a bit obvious, Mous would have probably slapped you for missing it.
>She was always hanging out with her, that shit with her wings, the blushing. Oh god, you had been calling her 'bro' since you got here.
>You didn't mean to 'brozone' her or whatever.
>And why you? Surely the "best flyer in Equestria." could do better than a skinny extra dimensional alien.
>Okay, maybe you can work this out. You just have to head up there and talk it out with Dash, then you can go right back to being bros.
>You get up and make for the cave. You step inside and are assaulted with a humid stink, you can't see Rainbow but you think you can hear her further back.
>You can make out what sounds like pants and gasps as you get closer to the source. "Rainbow?" you call out.
>The panting stops and you see Rainbow poke her head out from behind a rock. Damn, she looks like hell, her mane is unkempt, her eyes are bloodshot, and she appears to be biting her lip. "You can't be in here Anon."
>"Dash, c'mon, let's talk." you say as you take a few steps towards her. That was a poor decision it seems, because she just backs away. "No, Anon, the Estrus has started for me. You can't be here."
>"Dash, come on, let's just talk. I want us to be friends again." Dash lowers her head and begins to walk back behind the same rock. "Yeah? Well I don't."

>You left the cave after that.
>It seemed official, you had lost your bro.
>You nicked a few apples and walked around the forest. This sucked.
>You were stuck for the next few days in the middle of a cold forest with an ex-bro who wanted nothing more than to sleep with you right now.
>You trudge along as you eat your apple, what could you do? You wanted to go back, but you couldn't do that without setting her off.
>You wanted a bro and she wanted something more. That was that.
>You did just want a bro...right?
>You stop that train of thought right then and there, were you really considering this?
>Could you?
>These ponies were clearly sentient, they had goals and opinions just the same as people from Earth.
>But they were still ponies; an entirely different species.

>Okay, okay. Let's break this down.
>Rainbow Dash was your second best friend, and the first friend you had in Equestria.
>She was funny, interesting, and was willing to spend entire nights watching movies and drinking with you.
>If this were Earth, you feel this would have happened a long time ago.
>On the opposite side of the spectrum, she was an entirely different species.
>Doing this on Earth would earn you scorn and ridicule, possibly some jail time.
>You run the idea through your head, were you okay with going further with Rainbow?
>If species didn't matter, would you?
>...
>Know what? Yeah. You probably would.
>You relax a bit having that thought taken care of, only for another to worm it's way into your head.
>You were okay with You and Rainbow, but was everyone else?

>Equestria seemed to be a tolerant place, and they had a multitude of races.
>Surely some of them had 'intermingled' before? Right?
>You sigh as your train of thought takes you further.
>None of the other races here were aliens from another world.
>You'd really rather not start a relationship with someone and then be told by the all powerful Sun-goddess that said relationship was against the rules.
>So, what do you do? Do you ask? Do it anyway? Back off?
>You were prepared to go further with Rainbow, but you still had a few nagging doubts, you still kinda wanted kids one day.
>Bailing would be simple, even if you lost your bro.
>Your mind jumps back to the last time you were in this situation; back on Earth.
>You had been offered the chance to go to this really prestigious seminar to give a report you had done.
>You were nervous as all hell. Sure, you wanted to go, but you had no idea what everyone there would think of it.
>You lost your nerve and decided not to go, Mous was the first one you told.
>"Fuck that." he had said. "If you want to go do something, you go do it. Period."
>You still remember the sight of him standing over you in your garage, pointing dead square in your face. "Never let anyone tell you what you can and can't have, dude. Not a bunch of scientists, not me, and definitely not some pansy ass voice in your head telling you that you can't do something."
>Your mind snaps back to your current situation.
>"Heh...Even when he's not here, he's busting my balls." you sigh.
>Yeah. Fuck that voice in your head.
>You knew what you wanted.
>And you were gonna go get her.

>The sun was already setting when you got back, you didn't notice you had been wandering around the whole day.
>Okay, deep breaths...you can do this
>You inch your way into the cave. The smell from before is still hanging in the air.
>You creep back near the rock Rainbow was behind last time and just sit.
>You hear her tossing and turning on the ground behind you. "Nnngggh. Dammit Anon, why'd you have to leave me here like this?" she asks to a supposedly empty cave.
>"Maybe I like the way you squirm?" you say as you make your presence known.
>You hear Dash suddenly stop moving followed by the clip clop of hooves on stone as she rounds the rock you were leaning back on. "A-Anon? I told you, you shouldn't be here." she stammers out.
>"Yeah, I know..." you reach up and brush some of her disheveled hair out of her face. "But, I want to be." You let your hand fall from her hair to caress her cheek.
>Rainbow Dash shudders as your fingers move from her cheek to her chin and down her neck until you eventually trail off. "You gonna kick me out?" you ask?

Music-http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QQkmh1PPrMU&feature=fvst
>Rainbow Dash lowers her head and opens her eyes. She's panting pretty heavy. "You really want to stay here? What about what happened last night?" she asks.
>You lean off the rock and sit down right in front of Rainbow. "I did some thinking, I decided that I like it better here." you say with a smile.
>Yeah. You're glad you did this, you already feel better.
>"Now...I think one of us here has a problem that the other can hel-"
>That's as far as you get before you feel another tongue in your mouth. You fall onto your back as Rainbow tries to pull your jacket and shirt off with her nubby hooves.
>"Easy, easy, Dash!" you call out. She stops and looks at you with pleading eyes. "Anon, I swear, if you're bucking with me here..."
>You laugh a bit at that "No no no..." you say as you get control of yourself. "It's just...we have another few days here. No need to wear ourselves out now..." you bring her to your lips and see if you can set a pace that will make the both of you happy.
>You both lay there enjoying each other, she smells like the air after a rainstorm. You hear a bit of hitching from her and open your eyes to see tears forming at the edges.
>You silently kiss her forehead. "Shhh...shh...no tears, only dreams now." You hear her laugh. "You're so dumb..." she says as she kisses you again.
>Everything else proceeds as you expected it would, you setting the pace, Rainbow more than happy to go along with whatever in her current state of mind.
>You were warm for the first time since coming out here that night.

=BiE 20=

>Day 2.
>It turns out, having a pair of nymphomaniacal mares locked in your bathroom wasn't that hard.
>The sink kept them hydrated, the toilets let them shit, and they were fed every six hours by you throwing food inside.
>You could do without the screaming, however.
>"MMmmoooooouuuussss...I need heeeeelllp here...please!" you heard from your bathroom, as if on cue.
>"Use the brush, Lotus! I'm sure that'll be new for you."
>You could always burn that brush later.
>"Can you at least let me see my sister?" you hear her call out frustrated.
>"And spend the rest of my life hearing you complain about the horrible things you two did over "that one estrus a long time ago"? No thank you."
>You wanted to believe that those two were just joking all those times they called each other "pretty", but you weren't taking chances this weekend.

>You looked at the clock.
>It was close to feeding time.
>You considered how demeaning that probably was as you grabbed some apples from the kitchen and made your way to the bathroom Lotus was in.
>You paused as your hand hovered over the doorknob.
>...Best to plan ahead.
>You grab your trusty Scout Titan/bludgeon and moved the chair keeping the door closed back.
>"Lotus, I got apples. Back away from the door and you can have some."
>After a moment, you heard her call back "Okay."
>Oh no missy, not after the stunt you pulled last night.
>"I don't trust you, hit your hooves against the bathtub if you're away from the door."
>You hear a sigh followed by hooves on tile, eventually a pair of metallic knocks resonate through the door.
>You open the door and poke your head inside.
>Lotus looked frazzled, the bathroom was a wreck, your brush was laying on the ground, bristles bent from overuse.
>Guess it wasn't that new after all.
>"Eat up." you say as you drop off her lunch. 
>You didn't want to stick around for long.

>Alright, next up was Aloe.
>Aloe was...crafty.
>She had almost tricked you at early morning food time.
>She had actually jammed her hair in the cupboard and begged you to help take it out.
>It was only after you freed her that you saw her hoof moving up your leg.
>You noped the fuck out of there and threw in some food when you heard her asleep.
>You knelt down next to the bathroom door.
>"Aloe? You hungry in there?"
>Silence.
>"...Aloe?"
>You finally get a response so quite you almost feel like you imagined it.
>"Yeah, Mous...come in."
>You opened the door and promptly regret it.
>You absolutely hated seeing Aloe like this.
>She was just laying on the floor of the bathtub, staring into the wall.
>To see the Aloe you knew, the Aloe who was so cheery even in the worst situations, the Aloe that could laugh at your darkest of jokes, the Aloe who had once gone out and bought doughnuts for everyone just because you skipped breakfast, be reduced to this.
>If your heart were still alive, you know it would surely break.
>"Everything okay?"
>She sighs and looks up to you. She looks miserable.
>"Yeah, it's just hard, Mous. Dealing with this and seeing no end in sight is really hard."
>She laid her head back down and continued to stare at the wall.
>You wanted to sit down and talk her through this.
>You wanted to help her in just some way.
>But you can't.
>This could be a trap, she could be trying to bait you into something you didn't want to do.
>It was exactly what you would do in her situation.
>"Yeah...well, here's lunch."
>You place the apples on the sink counter and re-jam the door once you're out.

>Damn.
>Should you do something?
>Aloe looked horrible in there.
>You at least expected seduction with a smile...
>Not...this.
>Anon was always better at this sympathy stuff.
>You remember the last time this happened.
>You had just beat the piss out of some cockbiter who decided to get fresh with your sister.
>Anon had come along to try and reason with him, but you had gone off before he got a word out.
>He was still bleeding on the ground as you were walking out.
>"You're just gonna leave him here!?" Anon had yelled.
>You tried to explain that it was what he deserved and, to your surprise, he got right up in your face and hollered at you.
>"No one deserves to be left out in the dust when they're in pain!"
>You had never seen him that angry, nor have you seen it since.
>"It's easy to just leave someone broken when they're down, but that doesn't mean they don't deserve our help! When someone is hurting, you pick them up and help them along, and then they do it when you're hurt. Ad infinitum."
>...That damn kid was the only thing keeping you on the level some days.
>You search through the house for a few minutes trying to find anything that can help Aloe
>Cucumbers? No, you didn't want to have to pull it out if it got stuck.
>Battle barge? Same thing, just more small parts to lose.
>Boot?...Put that in the maybe pile.
>You eventually find a sports bottle in the cabinet.
>It'll do.
>You poke your head back into the bathroom and see Aloe laying in the tub, her chest rising up and down in rhythm.
>Must have dozed off.
>You place the bottle on the counter and step out.
>That felt...nice.

>Day 3
>Today started like any normal day, with Lotus scream at you to come "help" her.
>You dropped off her food and went to check on Aloe
>She seemed in better spirits, the sports bottle you delivered was laying in the tub she slept in.
>Atta girl.
>Your day had proceeded as normally as it could.
>You relaxed on your couch with your good friend Sony and let the day just melt away.
>At least until noon or so.
>You heard what sounded like machinery outside, something with wheels.
>You could hear wings flapping and muffled voices as well.
>Expecting some sort of makeshift siege by horny mares, you grabbed David and looked out the peephole.
>Well, there was a horny mare outside, but not any you usually saw.
>This one had an escort. 
>And a crown.
>...Oh fuck me.
>Might as well nip this problem in the butt.
>You open the door and step out into the daylight for the first time since estrus started.
>"Your majesty, I can honestly say that you are the last mare I expected to come knocking."
>Celestia turned to face you, she looked surprised.
>You got the jump on her.
>Any advantage against her you could use, you would.
>She regained her composure pretty damn quick though.
>"Why, hello there Mous. I was simply checking up on Twilight Sparkle during this difficult period and decided to pay a visit."
>You don't remember seeing Twilight at your little standoff.

>"How is she?" you ask.
>Celestia got a smile you could only call proud.
>"My student as thought of everything, once again, she has magically sealed herself in her home so that she won't cause any trouble around town."
>You grunt an acknowledgement as you peek over Celestia's shoulder.
>She took a carriage here, her escorts all looked fairly normal save for one.
>He looked a bit more exhausted then the rest, and he was keeping rather close to the princess.
>Well now, it looks like even your glorious monarch could be brought down by the estrus.
>"Tell me, Mous, are you here by yourself?" Celestia asked.
>Shit. That was a trap.
>What do? Lie?
>Shit. Act like you own the place.
>"More or less, Anon is camping out the estrus in the woods. I elected to stay here."
>Celestia tilted her eyes over to you.
>"My my...all alone here." she said.
>Shitshitshit.
>Just then, the air was parted by a shriek wail.
>"MOUS! DAMMIT! GET IN HERE AND RUT ME! ANYTHING YOU WANT, JUST GET IN HERE NOW!"
>That yell just kinda hangs in the air for a minute as Celestia just freezes.
>Well, thanks for that Lotus.
>"I did say "more or less".
>Celestia just stands there, you expected her to just say "The more the merrier.", maybe she wants privacy?
>"...So you did." she says.
>You decide to end this conversation before she composes herself and head for the house.
>"Have a nice day, Princess."
>You get no response before you shut the door.

>Day 4.
>The effects of estrus must be dying down, the girls seemed quieter today.
>Right before lunch feeding time, you bang on the wall closest to the bathrooms.
>"You two alright in there?"
>Lotus speaks up first "Yes, Mous. I'm fine."
>"Aloe?"
>"Fine here too!" she shouted.
>Shit, they were sounding more normal.
>What do you do? Play it safe? Or trust your friends?
>...Fuck.
>"I'm letting you two out, don't make me regret it."
>You removed the chairs and opened the doors for the girls, careful to move fast.
>The three of you ended up standing in the hallway where it all started.
>Aloe and Lotus hugged each other as soon as they were reunited.
>Awwww...
>They both looked haggard, but they weren't making any movements towards you.
>"So, everything good? Are you to back to normal?"
>Aloe sighs "Yes, I'd say the worst of it is over." she said with a small smile.
>"I feel much better." Aloe beamed.
>You sigh a deep sigh of relief.
>"Good, then it's over." 
>You head for the living room and really relax for the first time in four days.

>The girls come join you on the couch.
>"Mous, I don't know what to say. Nopony has ever done something like that before for us, thank you."
>Huh?
>"Didn't I just hold you two hostage for half a week? Were I come from, people go to jail for that."
>Lotus shakes her head as Aloe speaks up. 
>"Estrus season messes with ponies heads, some of us do really stupid things to try and take the edge off..."
>She trailed off and broke eye contact there...
>"Couldn't let you two lose around town and wind up doing something stupid, I've had my fill of being called a deviant just for working at a spa, thank you."
>You really hadn't but it seemed like the right thing to say.
>You lean your head back as you see Aloe and Lotus exchange glances in some sort of silent twin conversation.
>Eventually, Lotus nods and turns back to you.
>"Mous, you remember when we said that ponies make stupid mistakes during estrus season?"
>That was like, a minute ago, yes.
>You just nod.
>"...And remember how we were both offering ourselves to you...together?”
>Yes. You wish you didn’t, but yes.
>You nod an affirmative.
>”There…may have been some correlation between the two.”
>…
>Okay, this sounded like a story.

>”Okay, I’m all ears.”
>This can’t be easy; best let them take their time.
>Lotus shuffles in her seat.
>”It was…our first estrus away from our parents. Estrus is different in Stalliongrad, the air is so cold that the pheromones that sets off our mating cycle hardly gets through.”
>Aloe continued. “You can imagine how hard the estrus effect hit us when we were outside where the pheromones could effect us…”
>Aloe and Lotus both stop talking and direct their eyes at the floor.
>”So…what happened?”
>Aloe and Lotus both look at you, a far off look in their eyes.
>”We met a man on the outskirts of Hoofington, he said he could help us. We went with him to a small campground with others like us who were having trouble with the estrus; the intention was to rally together to get our way through the estrus together.” Lotus said.
>Sounds familiar.
>”We had camps like that back on Earth. They didn’t really work too well.”
>Lotus sighs. “It seems our worlds shared something in common.”
>”One particularly difficult night, we had gone back to our room after a group meeting. 
>She looked like she was about to cry.
>”We had been the hardest hit by the estrus. It was the hardest thing either of us had ever done before…as the stress mounted through the night we began- Oh Celestia… began to feel we could only relay on each other to get through it and i-it just kind of…happened…”
>Both of them looked on the verge of tears.
>”W-we woke up on the floor of our room. Neither of us could remember the previous night, and the effects of the estrus had passed…”

>Both of them had tears well in their eyes.
>Well…shit…
>Uh…what do you do?
>Fuck.
>They’re crying.
>You find yourself getting off the couch.
>Okay, now you’re kneeling in front of them.
>Okay…now you’re hugging them?
>Uhm.
>”…Mous? W-what are you…”
>”Are…you two okay?”
>Were they okay now?
>”Y-yes…thank you Mous.”
>”Yeah…thanks.”
>You pull away from the two of them.
>”Uh…no problem.”
>You should probably try to lighten the mood.
>”Hey, you guys want some food? We can put on a movie and make a day out of it.”
>Finally, some smiles.
>”That’s sounds like a great idea, Mous.” Lotus said.
>You head to the kitchen and grab some of the fruit you had left.
>You threw them a couple of apples and turned on the TV.
>”Eat up.”
>You sit down on the couch next to them as the movie starts.
>Aloe grabs a nearby pillow and Lotus…lies down on your lap?
>That’s…a little bit weird, but okay, emotional moment and all.
>The movie started, finally signaling the end of the estrus.

=BiE 21=

>You walked down the path with Rainbow fluttering behind you, her hooves around your neck.
>She nuzzles the back of your neck "Admit that you're lost and I'll fly up to try and spot your house."
>"I'm not lost." you say. "We cut through these trees and crossed through town to get to the woods, home should be just a ways further."
>You and Rainbow had followed Mous's instructions and waited the entire weekend in Whitetail Woods, it was time to head back home and continue your life.
>Well, a similar life. After what had happened in the cave two nights ago, you expected that you were going to be seeing a lot more of Dash.
>The apprehensions you had were melted away over the weekend. Rainbow Dash had been your best friend here, you cared for her. It didn't matter that she wasn't a human, she was still a person.
>"We've been walking for almost an  hour, Anon." she said "...why don't we take a break?" that part was punctuated by her nuzzling your neck again.
>"Oh no, after two days of "breaks" on that hard cave floor, I'm not taking another unless it's in my own soft bed." you say as you reach back and throw your arm around her.
>"Besides, the last thing we need is to be late and for Mous to find us rutting in the bushes when he comes looking." you tease.

>You make decent time back to the house. To your amazement, the door wasn't kicked in and Mous didn't burn down the house with him inside it to try and deny the mares their prize, or something.
>You try to get through the door only to find it locked, you knock twice and hear Mous rummaging to the door.
>"Password." you heard him say. "Fuck you." you call back.
>You hear latches being undone before Mous throws open the door. Holy shit, he's actually smiling.
>Mous only had three smiles; Psychopath, genuine happiness, and some smug combination of the two.
>This one was real, genuine, and big. "The hell did you know it, I never told you." he beams.
>You chuckle. "Hoping I wasn't coming back?" Mous takes a few steps outside and crosses he arms. "It'd save me a mint on food."
>His eyes drift up and down you before they eventually settle on Rainbows hooves around your neck. "Heh. Took you two long enough."
>You roll your eyes and flip him the bird before he turns around and heads back in. "C'mon, we got two guests, no food, and no one is allowed in the bathrooms till I finish with 'em."

>You and Rainbow head inside to see your mystery guests. You walk into the living room and spot Mous's bosses sitting on the couch.
>"What's going on in here?" you ask.
>The pink one chimes in "We're watching Aladdin!"
>Mous returns from the kitchen with a drink "Aloe and Lotus here were having a hard time of it this estrus, they asked me to help 'em get through it, aint that right?" It seemed Mous was celebrating the end of Estrus by drinking all of your booze.
>"Mous was very helpful." the blue pony on your couch said.
>You turn back to Mous "A weekend with twins?" you tease. He shrugs "It's my winning personality." He makes his way back to the couch. Damn, he must be drunk if he's letting her lay on his lap like that. "Come, drink and be merry with us." he says, hoisting his beer up high.
>You turn your head to talk to Rainbow as she hangs off your back. "Movie night?" you ask. "Hehe, sure Anon." she says. 

>The night wore on and you all got through both Aladdin and Little Mermaid.
>Eventually, the exhaustion of the last few days began to catch up to you all.
>You had all been sitting at the title screen for the past ten minutes, too tired to actually get up and put in something else.
>"I'm fuckin' done." you say. Rainbow had been dozing off with her head in your shoulder since before the movie had even finished, all she could muster was a groan as she lifted her hoof.
>Aloe and Lotus hopped off their seats and started towards the door. "Yes, very enjoyable. Work is going to be extraordinary tomorrow."
>"Oh, come on now Lotus, we get to work those post estrus kinks out of the entire town. That sounds like the best time ever." Mous said as he stood up as well.
>He turned to you. "I'm gonna help these two get home." he said.
>Lotus turned back "You don't have to do that Mous." she said.
>"No, It's my pleasure." Mous said as he walked to the door.
>Right before he stepped out, he gave you a wink.
>Crafty Mous...very crafty. 
>You turn your head to Rainbow and start tousling her hair. "Pssst. Hey." you whisper.
>She groans and bats your hand away.
>You keep tousling, she bats you away again.
>The third time you go back, she finally lifts her head up and looks at you. "What, Anon?"
>You sneak your hand to the side of her head. "Remember when you said you wanted to take a break on the way home?" She silently nods. "Well...we have the house to ourselves..." you start to rub her ear. "...and my bed's in the other room."
>Her mischievous grin is all the affirmation you need.

>You had both finished by the time Mous got back to the house.
>Two bangs resonated from your door. "You two alive in there?" you hear.
>You rap your knuckles against the wall in an affirmative and hear Mous step into his room and close the door.
>Your arm falls as you drift off to sleep. Rainbow is curled up in your other arm already out.
>It had been a hell of a weekend.
>You had to run from an entire town of females in heat, lost a bro, gained something better, and slept with something outside of your species.
>Still, a pretty good way for things to turn out, all things considered.
>You threw your other arm around Dash as your exhaustion started to take hold.
>Yeah...a good way for things to turn out.
>The last thing you see before you drift off is a rainbow mane lit by the full moon.

=BiE 22=

>The damn sun woke you up again.
>It seemed to be closer then it normally was.
>Maybe this was Celestias payback for ruining her fun over estrus.
>You peek at the clock, 10:00.
>Aloe and Lotus had given you the day off for helping them over estrus.
>You didn't want to do it, but you had some stuff to take care of and it provided the perfect opportunity. 
>You rolled out of bed and made your way to the kitchen, ignoring the sounds from Anon's room.
>Damn kids.
>Your 'special delivery' should be arriving soon, might as well get ready while you wait.
>The abundance of pancakes at the market has allowed you to upgrade to eating them regularly.
>The pancakes putting you in a good mood, you made your way to your shower and started going over the day's game plan.
>Assuming magic worked the way you thought it did, it would just be a matter of practice.
>You were screwed if it didn't.
>You hoped they had enough room.
>Considering who you were dealing with, you hoped you didn't get a hoof to the face first.

>You hear a knocking at your door after your shower.
>Just as you expected, Twilight was standing on your front porch.
>"Hey, Twilight. You look like you handled the estrus as well as Celestia said."
>She gets an embarrassed look.
>"She uh...she told you that?" she stammered out.
>"Only that you thought of everything and handled yourself well."
>She still looks embarrassed, but she's wearing a smile now.
>Twilight levitates a small box over to you, as well as a book.
>"Force fields and barriers.". Promising.
>"I have to say, I was a bit surprised when you asked for these things." Twilight said.
>This WAS a bit out of it for you.
>"Just trying to take care of a minor problem, I'm a bit surprised myself that Anon got the day off today."
>She looks like she's blushing a bit. "Hehe...yeah...the Library isn't really fit for anypony to be in right now."
>Well, there goes your mental image of Twilight being a paragon of willpower and toughing it out.
>"Where is Anon, anyway?" she asks.
>"Oh, he's around. It's not like he and Rainbow are FUCKING IN THE OTHER ROOM!" you yell.
>Silence settles in before four knocks come from Anon's room.
>"Yeah, they're fine."
>Twilight looks like she's about to die of embarrassment as she cocks her head to the side inquisitively.
>"They're on round four, if they get to round ten by noon; I win ten bits and have to call an ambulance."
>The awkwardness can be cut with a knife.
>"...I'm gonna go inside now."
>Twilight just nods with a fake smile and a rather intense blush and walks away.
>Damn, how can someone that smart get weirded out by mating?

>You step into the town proper and start your search.
>A quick study of the book Twilight gave you showed that, yes, force fields worked exactly how you thought.
>The only question was whether or not she could do it.
>You don't know where Lyra and Bon Bon live, but if they're 'together' then there's a decent chance finding one will find the other.
>Bon Bon apparently ran a candy shop that rivaled Sugarcube Corner, so you start your search in the center of town.
>You were getting an awful lot of looks.
>Probably because of the big box you were carrying around.
>You eventually break down and ask Carrot Top where Bon Bon lives.
>Let it never be said that you fall into gender stereotypes.
>You mentally prepare yourself for the situation ahead.
>Best to play it arrogant. 
>You open the shop door and spot Bon Bon behind the counter.
>She looks pissed.
>"What do you want?" she asks.
>You still can't get used to her different voice thing.
>"Hey Bon Bon, Lyra here?"
>Her frown gets deeper.
>"No, Lyra is not hear. I imagine that she's blowing all her money at that spa of yours again."
>That was true, Lyra came in pretty often.
>Still, if she was out looking for you then she'd be back once she realized you weren't there.
>"That's cool, I'll just hang out till she shows up."
>Bon Bon walks out from behind the counter.
>"I don't think that's a good idea." she says.
>She still looks pretty mad.
>"Aw, come on. We can swap stories about candy and junk."
>She seems to not like your shit eating grin.
>She opens her mouth to say something but is interrupted by the door opening.
>"M-Mous!?"
>"Lyra!" you and Bon Bon call out.

>"Lyra, wha-
>You interrupt Bon Bon before she finishes.
>"Lyra! Hey, you were looking for me? Cause I was looking for you."
>"Y-you were?" she asks.
>"Lyra, I do-
>"Yep! Got something to show you, you guys got a basement or something here?"
>"Well, we have one for storage..."
>"Great, lead the way!"
>"Lyra!" you hear from behind you.
>Bon Bon looks a bit hurt, still mad, but also hurt.
>"Lyra...are you really going to go with him without knowing what he wants?"
>"Bon Bon...I..." she says.
>Fuck. Now you have to be the asshole.
>"It's all good, Bon Bon, I'm a great guy. I'll get her back to ya in one peice."
>You put your hand on Lyra's shoulder as you say that.
>You can feel her tense up, this is exactly what happens when she used to come to the spa.
>If Lyra was only considering leading you downstairs before, she just caved.
>"It'll be fine, Bon Bon. Mous'll show me this thing and I'll be right back up." 
>She opens a nearby door and reveals a long stairway down.
>You follow her down the stairs as Bon Bon comes up behind you.
>"Well then why can't he show us both!" she shouts.
>You turn around.
>"This is kinda just for Lyra."
>You don't wait for a response and shut the door.

>A few minutes later, you're both sitting in a small circle of candles you removed from your box.
>You were amazed that Bon Bon didn't kick the door in and throw you out.
>People and ponies do weird things for the people they care about, it seems.
>Lyra speaks up as you light the last candle.
>"What's all this for, Mous?"
>"Ambience."
>Go hard or go home.
>Might as well begin.
>"Lyra, you're a unicorn, can you make force fields?"
>She looks a bit confused.
>"What's this about, Mous?"
>"Please answer the question."
>She sighs
>"Yes, I can make force fields."
>You don't move a muscle. 
>"Show me."
>A minty glow envelops Lyra's horn and a similar colored sheet of light floats above the center of your circle.  
>You poke it with your finger, it has resistance, but gives if you push.
>Perfect.
>You extend your hands over to Lyra.
>"Okay Lyra, I want you to make a force field around both of my hands.
>She looks confused but complies.
>A green bubble seals both of your hands, stopping at your wrists.
>"Okay, now, shrink the force fields to match the contours of my hand. Be as precise as you can."
>"Mous, I don't know if I can do that." she said.
>"Have you ever tried?"
>"Well...no...bu-"
>"Then try. It's one of the most human ideals there is."
>She gets a determined look and the glow from her horn intensifies.
>As it does, the bubbles around your hands begin to contort and twist.
>They shrink down further until both of your hands are on a mint green energy glove.
>Lyra sighs.
>"I did it..."
>You nod.
>"Yes, you did. Now comes the hard part."

Music - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vK4gv11PTI8
>The next few hours were spent in the basement with Lyra.
>She was trying to learn how to bend her force fields the same way as your hands.
>It was slow going, she had to stop more than a few times to rest.
>Eventually though, you'd gone through almost every way a hand can bend you can think of.
>"Okay, Lyra, final step. You ready?"
>She nods her head.
>"Okay, I want you to take these off my hands and put them on the end your hooves."
>"What?" she says.
>She doesn't look convinced.
>"Do it. Worst case scenario is that we just lost a few hours over nothing."
>Lyra shuts her eyes and hold up her hooves.
>The magic gloves you've grown used to over the past few hours slip off your hands and float over to Lyra.
>The 'hands' spin around and slowly lower themselves, connecting the wrists to the end of Lyra's hooves.
>They hold themselves there as Lyra opens her eyes and smiles.
>Her smile only grows bigger and bigger as she wriggles her new fingers.
>"Mous...I..."
>She looks up to you.
>She has tears in her eyes.
>"I-I don't know how to thank you."

>You sigh.
>"You want to thank me?" you ask.
>You extend an arm down to Lyra.
>To her credit, she gets the idea and grabs your hand with her new ones.
>"Do two things for me."
>She nods her head as she stands on her hind legs.
>"One: Stop coming into the spa so damn much, you have 'hands' now, satisfy your own fetish."
>Aloe and Lotus could never know of this, they'd kill you for getting rid of a customer who came this often.
>"And Two:"
>You gesture with your thumb through the floor above you.
>"Go talk to your girlfriend. I could see the looks she was giving me when we came down here."
>Lyra's face drops.
>"Bon Bon...I don't know what I'm going to do about her..."
>"Do you want her gone?"
>Lyra jumps back.
>"No! No, no...I lo-really like Bon Bon...it's just...I don't know what to do."
>You put your hand on her shoulder, even on her hind legs, she was a bit shorter then you.
>"Go talk to her, work something out, if this did what I wanted and got you over whatever was making you come to the spa so often, then it should be pretty simple."
>You start your way up the stairs
>"I don't know why she thinks I'm so worth it..." 
>You stop and look at Lyra over your shoulder.
>"Lyra, you're probably the most important person in the world to Bon Bon, of course you're worth it to her."
>You head out the basement door and head for the exit when a voice stops you.
>"Homewrecker."

>You turn to see Bon Bon sitting on a couch in the other room.
>She's holding a pillow tight to her chest.
>She looks like she's been crying.
>She gives you a death glare as you walk into the room.
>"You took the most important person in my life."
>Bingo.
>"And stole her away from me."
>"Bon Bon, nothing happe-"
>She tosses the pillow across the room at you.
>"SHUT UP!"
>She looks furious now.
>"Don't tell me nothing happened! Nopony spends four hours in a basement and does 'nothing'!"
>She has her head in her hooves now.
>"It just-I always tried to be so understanding! Everypony called her fascination with humans weird, but I looked past it. I looked passed her sitting, I looked past her trying to walk on her hind legs, Celestia knows I even looked past her going to that spa to see YOU so often!" 
>She jams a hoof in your direction.
>"But I don't think I can get past her ignoring me just because you fell into our town..."
>She keeps staring daggers at you.
>"...Bon Bon?"
>You both turn to the basement door to see Lyra walk out, on all fours, it seems.
>"Bon Bon...nothing happened." She says.
>"I really wish I could believe that Lyra..."
>Lyra takes a few steps closer. "Hey, I may be weird."
>She gets up on the couch next to Bon Bon and throws a hoof around her.
>"But I'd never hurt you."

>Bon Bon throws Lyra's hoof off her and retreats to the other side of the couch.
>Lyra tries again only for Bon Bon to shoot her down.
>The room is quiet for a long time.
>You start to back away towards the door
>"I should go."
>Lyra looks up at you. 
>"Thanks Mous...for everything."
>"Yeah, right..."
>You start to walk to the door.
>Quick, say something to lighten the mood.
>"Play nice, you two."
>Fuck.
>You walk out the door and hurry home before the idiocy of that remark comes back to haunt you.
>The sun was setting, the perfect setting for the relationship you just ruined.
>This blows.
>Dammit, you were trying to help.
>This always happens when you try to help.
>You trudge into the living room when you get home, Anon and Rainbow are there.
>"Hey dude...you okay?" Anon asked.
>"I'm fuckin' fine."
>You didn't need to talk about it.
>You fucked up.
>It was your responsibility.

=BiE 23=

>Rainbow must still be riding out the effects of the estrus, because she just put you through your third round this morning.
>You think it was still morning, time had lost all meaning since she woke you up.
>You both now lay in bed, taking in the afterglow.
>"If this is normal, you're libel to kill me." you say as you stroke her mane. "But what a way to go, right?" she quips back. 
>You both lay there for a while. You were glad you did this, and not just because it offered a greater chance of getting laid.
>Rainbow and you clicked on so many things, and those you didn't, you balanced each other out on.
>"So, what do you want to do on my day off that can only be done with my clothes on?" you ask.
>Rainbow giggles a bit. "Limiting my choices that much, eh? You're a bad special somep0ny."
>You chuckle "A what?" "They don't have special somep0nies where you come from?" Rainbow asked. "We do, but we usually just call them 'boyfriends' or something."
>Rainbow hops up onto your chest and lays her head on her hooves. "That's bucking stupid, Anon." she said before she gave you a quick peck.
>She leans back in and kisses you again. Okay, looks like round 4 has started.
>You begin gliding your hands up to her steadily rising wings, Rainbow had good stamina, so you had to attack her from all ang- 
>"-FUCKING IN THE OTHER ROOM!"
>Dammit. That was Mous. What was the system you worked out?
>You raise your fist and smack the wall four times before returning to your waiting mare.
>"Now, where were we?"

>Round four quickly snowballed into round five.
>A shower to wash off the sweat and stink turned into round six through seven.
>Clean-ish and dressed, you sit down for breakfast while Rainbow lounges on the couch.
>"You still haven't told me what you wanted to do today. Other than me, I mean."
>Rainbow sighs with a smile. "I guess I can show you some of my new tricks."
>You laugh "I've seen quite a few of your tricks already."
>Rainbow sticks her tongue out at you.
>"Seen that a lot too." you say. 
>Rainbow just smiles and goes back to lounging.
>"So, where can you show me these tricks?" you ask. "The town lake would work." Rainbow says. "A nice place to relax and spend the day."
>"And something to catch you when you crash." you say with a chuckle. She waves a hoof at you dismissively. 
>You finish your cereal and head for the door."Well, let's go find this lake." you say.
>Just then, you're tackled to the ground and find a familiar tongue forced into your mouth.
>Ding ding. Round eight.

>You eventually get out of the house around noon.
>Fuck you Mous, only eight before noon.
>You and Rainbow walk down the path that leads to the lake.
>The lake itself looks like the ones from home. All the ice from the winder had melted and the grass was getting it's green shade back.
>A dip of your hand in the water told you that it was still ice cold, however.
>Rainbow flutters up next to you. "You ready for The Dash?" she asks. "I've been ready since you started boasting when I first met you." you chuckle.
>Rainbow zips up into the air to begin her first trick "Be careful!" you call out.
>Being around Mous for so many years has taught you how fast a quick stunt can end in a trip to the hospital.
>Rainbow seems to have a decent handle on it, however, before long she's pulling straight dives and zigzagging through trees.
>You lay back on a tree nearby and enjoy the show. It made you happy to see Rainbow in her element like this, she truly was a master of her craft.
>Most of the stuns Mous pulled had involved the fabled phrase "I bet you can't" and ended with "Told ya."

>Your lazy Tuesday melted away watching Dash perform her tricks.
>You could get used to this, all your old girlfriends were either bookworms like you or kinda vapid. It was really cool having someone who was into such an entirely different thing then you but still engaging.
>The sun was beginning to set. "Yo! Let's wrap this up! I don't want to be out here in the cold all night!" you shout up to her. "One more!" she calls back down.
>Rainbow flies up high, higher than she's been all afternoon, before she just starts to drop. Your heart catches in your chest as you watch her plummet to the water faster than you can imagine.
 >She banks hard only inches above the water and starts flying towards the shore, she's going so fast that the water behind her is parting.
>Rainbow orbits the lake at top speed. Eventually, the water closest to the shore is being suppressed, leaving the water in the center just a little bit higher up.
>Rainbow banked hard to the right and shot straight across the lake towards you, kicking up water as she went.
>You braced yourself out of instinct as she stopped on a dime in front of you, causing the force she was exerting to drop and allowing the water trailing her to break on the shore and soak the both of you.
>"Gah! Dammit, Dash! That's fucking cold!" you shout. You look up and that she's fallen on the ground laughing.
>Okay, it was a bit funny. "C'mon Dash, I'm gonna get sick now." you say. 
>Rainbow hops up and walks over to you. She holds her face an inch away from yours and gets a wry smile. "Maybe we should warm up then?".
>Ding ding. Round nine.

>You and Rainbow make your way back home after your escapades at the lake.
>You were kidding before, but at this rate, this mare may literally fuck you to death. Your abs were killing you and your body was protesting it having been drained of all liquids throughout the day.
>You were defiantly gonna have to slow down.
>Mous wasn't home so you headed back to your room and changed out of your still damp clothes.
>Rainbow was on you as soon as you got your shirt off. "Knock it off Rainbow, Mous'll flip if he comes home to find you fucking my dehydrated corpse." you say with a laugh. Rainbows hooves unhook from around your chest and you feel her land behind you "Party pooper." she says.
>Dry and dressed, you head out to the living room and start fishing for a movie to watch. "What do people who are dating watch, anyway?" you ask. "Romance crap?" you turn to see Rainbow giving you a deadpan stare from the couch. "...I'll put on Indy." you say.
>Watching Dash do tricks was fun, but nothing beat just relaxing on the couch together watching Nazi's get punched.

>You turned your head as you heard the door opening and watched Mous trudge into the living room and sit in the armchair across the room. "Hey dude...you okay? you ask.
>Mous just sits there with his arms crossed, he looks...depressed? "I'm fuckin' fine." he says. You exchange a glance with Rainbow. "Uh...no you're not dude."
>He shoots you a glare. "I don't wanna talk about it." he says. "Well, tough shit. This bro thing goes both ways, you can't hog all the fun." you say. Him closing up wasn't gonna help anything.
>He crosses his arms and pouts for a second. Shit, he's like a child. "I went to go try and get Lyra off my back and may have inadvertently broken up her and Bon Bon, if you have to know." he says.
>"What happened?" you ask. He leans forward and puts his head in his hands. "Lyra and I spent, like, the entire day down in the basement trying to get her magic hands. Bon Bon thought we were fucking." 
>This didn't sound good. "Rainbow, do those two fight a lot?" you ask. Rainbow puts her hoof to her chin and thinks. "They certainly are one of Ponyville's louder couples. It seems like every week they disagree about something." she says. 
>You turn back to Mous. "See? No worries." He leans back in his chair. "I dunno man...you weren't there."
>The room is quite for a bit as you all just sit, Mous eventually breaks the silence. "So what did you two do today? Besides each other."
>You pull Rainbow closer. "Dash showed me some of her flight tricks down by the lake."
>"You make it to round ten before noon?" he asks.
>You chuckle a bit. "Nah. We hit 'Cloud 9' down by the lake."

>The room is silent.
>"Pfft...Anon." Rainbow laughs. "What?" you ask.
>Mous just sits there before turning his head to you. "That was fucking awful." he says as he leeps ut o his chair and heads to the kitchen.
>Well, at least he's out of his funk, it seems. "Why the fuck do we have a jar of pickles?" you hear him shout.
>Mous stomps to the door with jar in hand and dumps the pickles out into the grass. "Dude!" you call out, trying not to giggle.
>Mous returns to the kitchen and you hear the faucet run for a minute. He returns to the living room and hold the jar to your face. "This is now the 'Terrible Fucking Pun' jar. Put two bits in it." he says.
>You cock an eyebrow "You can't be serious." He can't be serious. Him looking impatient and shaking the jar a bit were the response you got.
>You reach into the couch cushions and pull out some bits from in between. You flourish them to Mous and drop them in the jar.
>Mous grins and returns the jar to the kitchen. He looked happier at least. He eventually comes back to the living room and sits in the chair again "So, is this the one with James Bond in it?"

>The night ends around eleven and you all shuffle back to your rooms, you peek inside to see Rainbow already resting her head on the pillow.
>"So, does she live here now or what?" You turn to see Mous standing behind you with a toothbrush in his mouth.
>"Not yet, but I figure I can get her in here by tomorrow and we can get married this weekend." you tease.
>Mous walks back to his bathroom "You're getting a toaster." he says.
>You catch him on his way out. "Hey...I know you think you fucked up today, but it's cool. Shit like this just happens sometimes."
>Mous runs his hand behind his head and just down. "Still man...if this is the straw that breaks the camel's back I'm gonna feel like the biggest asshole ever..."
>You pat him on the shoulder. "Hey, look sharp. What happened to the Mous who was too sure of himself for this kind of talk?"
>He gets a small grin as he walks into his room. "He slipped up because his roommate kept him awake fucking his Special Somep0ny all night." he says.
>Your mouth drops. "You too man? What is it with you and the proper vernacular?" you laugh out.
>Mous adopts an air of faux elitism as he shuts his door. "Don't get pissy because you didn't study up on Equestrian terminology."
>You roll your eyes as the door closes and crawl into bed with Dash. You silently prey that round ten doesn't start and are rewarded with simply being able to wrap your arms around her.
>You give her a quick peck on the back of the neck. "G'night Dash." she nuzzles you with the back of her head and you doze off.

=BiE 24=

>Morning.
>Fuck morning.
>Fuck waking up.
>Fuck these ponies and their easily broken relationships.
>Fuck assholes like you who break them up.
>You sit in bed and rub your face.
>Today was gonna suck.
>You make your way to the door and glance at the battalion of models in your room, they looked angry, they always looked angry.
>Angry at you.
>You trudge out to the kitchen to start this crap day.
>To your surprise, Anon is already out and eating.
>"Not going for round whatever?" 
>He looks up from his bowl. "Not when we both have work."
>Right. You had work.
>Bread is enough for today.
>Anon looks over at you. "Rough night?"
>You could say that.
>"Didn't sleep. Kept thinking about this Lyra problem."
>Anon leans rises from his chair. "You gotta stop blaming yourself, dude. It wasn't your fault."
>It wouldn't have happened if you weren't there.
>It was your fault.
>"You just gotta stay positive." Anon said.
>He walked out the door with his bag over his shoulder.
>You sigh and make your way to the bathroom.
>You were dreading your shower.
>It was too warm in here, too comfortable.
>It gave you too much time to think.
>Two ponies who obviously cared about each other we-
>No.
>No, Anon is right.
>Just don't think about it.

>You're dressed, out the door, and walking with Derpy into town within ten minutes.
>You hoped her good cheer would help you out.
>"You look sad, Mous." 
>You turned to Derpy, she was wearing a frown that broke your heart.
>"Well, who can't be when you're giving them those puppy dog eyes?"
>She smiled at that, but her eyes still were drooping.
>Gotta get this conversation off you.
>"So, how was your Heart's and Hooves day, Derpy?"
>She perks up for a moment and stops before zipping over to you and wrapping her hooves around you.
>This is new.
>Kinda nice...
>She releases you from the hug and give you a big smile.
>An infectious one, it seems.
>"What was that for?"
>She's still smiling. "Remember when you talked to me about that nice colt at the clock store? Well, I caught him after that little incident at your house over estrus. I played it cool and he took me out for a nice picnic, he wants to go again soon." she beams.
>"Wow, that's great Derpy."
>It was nice that Derpy was able to have a good estrus.
>Just then, a thought entered your mind.
>"Derpy...he didn't ask you to travel with him, did he?"
>Derpy's look grows confused. "No. He said he used to travel a lot, but that he was taking a break for a while. Why?"
>You let out a relaxed sigh.
>"No reason, c'mon."
>You continue down the road with Derpy flying beside you.
>Good. He's staying put. 
>Having Derpy get turned into some sort of monster by a space alien would have been too much.

>The work day goes fairly routine.
>An early massage, followed by steam room duty, and eventually a hoofacure for the Mayor.
>You found yourself hoping to see Lyra come in, if only to find out what happened after you left.
>Aloe and Lotus were their usual selves.
>You tried to keep up appearances, but you feel like your mood was fucking you up a bit.
>It was close to 1pm. You usually took your lunch break around this time, the lunch rush being over by then.
>You were about to step out when Aloe stopped you. "Mous, wait."
>"What's up, Aloe?"
>Lotus came out of the office behind her. "We were planning to head to the cafe for lunch, would you care to join us?"
>You really didn't feel like being alone right now.
>"Sure, I'll tag along."
>Both Aloe and Lotus perk up as they come out from behind the counter and lock up the spa.
>The cafe was relatively close to the spa, you usually got some ponies coming in after a meal here.
>You were seated on the patio. 
>It was nice out, you looked up and spotted Rainbow flying around moving clouds.
>She gave you a wave, you waved back.

>Your food was brought out, Aloe and Lotus each got what looked like a dandelion sandwich. You got bread.
>"So. Mous."
>You look up from your bread at the sisters.
>"We wanted to thank you again for what you did for us during estrus, you really helped us out.
>This again?
>"I don't know what I did so well, I just locked you two in a room for four days against your will. That doesn't sound like something you give thinks for."
>Aloe shook her head. "It was the fact that you watched over us that we're giving thanks for."
>You raise an eyebrow.
>"It would have been so easy for you to simply throw us out in our state of mind, but you kept us around and stopped us from making another terrible mistake. That was very noble of you."
>Noble? You were just taking care of your friends. That's all you ever did.
>"Yeah, well, I'm sure you two would have done the same for me."
>Aloe giggles. "Mous on the estrus, wouldn't that be a sight?"
>That got a laugh out of you.
>"Celestia would declare a state of emergency and I would have to be banished to the moon."
>That got a laugh out of Aloe and Lotus.

>"Mous, I want to ask something." Lotus said.
>What was this? Twenty questions?
>Oh well, you were in a better mood.
>"Shoot."
>"You have heard of our lives in Stalliongrad, tell us what your life back on your home was like."
>Life back home...
>Damn.
>You haven't thought about it in months.
>Life here just sort of picked up and took you with it.
>What did your family think happened?
>What did the school?
>Didn't Celestia say she would find a fix?
>...was a fix worth it?
>You look back to see Aloe and Lotus eyeing you expectantly.
>Shit. Uh...keep it loose.
>"I have a pretty routine story. I grew up with my mom and dad, and I met Anon when I was young. I went to school and met a few people I liked, along with a few people I didn't. After school, Anon and I went to college together and eventually found ourselves here, the rest, you know."
>"What did you do at college?" she asked.
>What did you do at college?
>"I painted a lot."
>Fuck your teachers, tiny models counted.

>Aloe was next to speak. "You've known Anon for so long and don't have any stories to tell?"
>There were a few.
>"There are a few, most of them just us getting into trouble."
>Lotus laughs. "What kind of trouble."
>They asked for it.
>"Anon is a bit younger then I am, I met him because he was getting picked on a lot. After I chased everyone away, they would sometimes come back and try again. That kind of trouble." you say with a grin.
>"Have you always done that for Anon?" She asks.
>You lead back in your chair.
>"For as long as I can remember."
>Lotus smiles and cants her head.
>"It looks like your nobility streak runs back farther than we thought."
>There was that word again.
>You ponder the significance of that as the three of you finish your meal.

>The rest of the work day was rather uneventful.
>Still no Lyra...
>Even if she was all half the time, it was nice to have a recurring customer.
>Closing time eventually came and you helped Aloe and Lotus clean up.
>"Staying behind?" Aloe asked.
>"I work here, don't I? That means I help clean."
>She didn't say anything but gave you a warm smile.
>You were about to head out when Lotus stopped you.
>She looked concerned.
>"Anon stopped by and told me what happened, Mous. I know why you've been so down all day."
>Dammit, Anon.
>"I know you think you messed up, but you're not a bad person." she continues.
>"Good people don't stick their noses into other ponies business and wind up breaking them up.
>She got an annoyed looked. 
>"Good people don't stay after work to help clean, good people don't pay for their meal when their bosses offer to take them out, and the certainly don't charge a manticore and get mauled to protect their friend."
>"Well, I wasn't gonna let you two pay for my lunch."
>"That was the point, Mous. We wanted to pay you back." 
>"Yeah, well, you don't have to."
>You push past her outside.
>"Mous." you turn back to see Lotus standing in the doorway with a pleading look in her eye.
>"Don't be like this. I've barely known three months and you're already one of the most altruistic people I've ever met. I can't watch you beat yourself up like this over one small mistake."
>One small mistake, huh...
>You sigh.
>You needed to think.
>"Thanks the pep talk, Lotus."

>The walk home was uneventful, which was good.
>You needed some time to yourself.
>Was the mistake you made that big?
>It surely was to Lyra and Bon Bon, their whole lives could be ruined.
>And it would be your fault...
>You were so used to having to watch out for everything.
>Guard against everything so that Anon wouldn't have to worry.
>Nip problems in the butt before they blew up in your face.
>And above all, never slip up. Evading an issue entirely was better.
>Aloe and Lotus had called you "noble" and "altruistic", but did that mean what you thought it meant?
>Did that mean shouldering the blame for every problem you were remotely involved in so others wouldn't have to?
>For what it was doing? What would happen if something broke you one day and Anon was all alone?
>What then?
>Other people were usually just blips on your radar, but you tended to keep your friends really close.
>Had that been screwing you over all this time?

>You arrive at the house and find Rainbow and Anon on the couch.
>"Hey, man. How're you doing?" Anon asked.
>"Dude...would you say I'm...altruistic?"
>Anon's face contorts to a shape you haven't seen from him before.
>"Are you seriously asking me that? You've got three scars on you back to answer that question, dude."
>Were you being too self sacrificing? Could you afford to just let things happen once in a while?
>"Hey, I know what might cheer you up." Anon says.
>He nudges Rainbow. "Tell him."
>Rainbow smiles. "Yours truly scored two tickets to the Wonderbolts show this weekend in Canterlot. thing is, they booked us for a two bedroom place, you up for a little vacation?" 
>Canterlot was kinda far...
>Your sure there was someone else who wanted to go.
>But...on the other hand...
>You could think of plenty of laughs to have there...
>Fuck it. Time to see where letting things happen takes you.
>You crack one of your first smiles in the day.
>"Sure, Canterlot weekend it is."

=BiE 25=

>It was Saturday morning, and you were on a train.
>You, Rainbow and Mous had all piled onto a train bound for Canterlot a few hours ago to start your little weekend getaway.
>You were still amazed at the sight of Canterlot as you pulled around the mountain, an impossible collection of towers and spires built right into the side of a mountain.
>You feel a pair of hooves wrap around your neck. "Enjoying the view?" they ask.
>You reach your hand back and tussle the hair of the mare they belong to. "I feel like I'll enjoy it more when I get the chance to look around." your last visit to Canterlot was a very quick affair.
>You turn around as Dash nuzzles your nose and gets a wry smile. "Who says we'll be seeing that much of the city?" Oh boy, this mare was going to be the death of you one day.
>"Get a room, you two." you look down at Mous laying on the train seat, his sweatshirt hood over his eyes.
>"Why, you can't see us." you say. You glance at Mous's feet, they were propped up on a backpack. You had just grabbed a small back and thrown an extra set of clothes in but a full backpack seemed like overkill.
>"Why'd you bring so much crap anyway?" you ask as you reach for the bag.
>Mous's foot drops from the bag and cuts you off. "My little secret." he says.
>You were sure he was plotting something, but this seemed to have gotten him out of the funk he'd been in
>You resign yourself to the fact that you were just going to have to deal with whatever Mous cooked up as you pull into the station.

>Wonderbolts stadium was an interesting sight, to say the least.
>The stadium itself was just a ring of clouds laid out to look like a racetrack. Stands were erected on the single piece of land nearby and ponies were filing in.
>You and Rainbow both had your tickets ready, Mous waved you off as he left. "I got some stuff to do, I'll meet you both at the hotel." he said.
>He was definitely up to something, but you could think about that later. Now was racing time.
>You and Rainbow make you way to your seats.
>Third row. Nice.
>You glance around, the stands were almost full as is. High class looking ponies were talking in the box seats, one pony in particular caught your eye with his spectacular blue mustache.
>Above the normal box seats sat the royal box. Surrounded by guards, you could see both Celestia and Luna eyeing the track expectedly. They must have spotted you, because they both offer a wave, a wave you return in kind.
>"Popular event?" you say to Rainbow. She's floating above her seat she's so excited, she always loved races. "You bet!" she cries. "Everypony get's pumped for the Wonderbolts derby!". She zips back to her seat just as the door opens and the stars fly out.


-Music: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jmjje62_cvs-
>The Wonderbolts fly out and wave at their fans on the way to the starting line.
>The announcer lands on an orbiting cloud and grabs his microphone.
>"Mares, Gentlecolts, Fillies of all ages! I am proud to welcome you to today's 99th annual Wonderbolts Derby!"
>The Wonderbolts landed and crouched at the starting line.
>"Today we have Spitfire, Soarin' and Fleetfoot competing for the cup." the announcer calls out.
>A referee lands in front of the three racers with a flag in his mouth. Far off, a drum roll starts.
>The ref waves the flag and the Wonderbolts explode off the starting line.
>Your hours of constantly sitting inside playing whatever games you could find had paid dividends in granting you a reaction time few could match.
>Your trained eye could still make out the pegusi as they rounded the first turn. Spitfire was flapping her wings so fast they looked like they would combust, Soarin' was staying true to his name and relying on more forceful flaps that carried him far, while Fleetfoot was bobbing and weaving around the track as she tried to take advantage of any air pockets.
>They rounded the second turn and Fleetfoot performed some sort of roll that shot her out in front. Even from here you could see Spitfire and Soarin's shocked faces.
>Spitfire and Soarin' were almost caught up once they entered the final stretch.
>Fleetfoot gave it her all as she upheld her lead against her teammates and crossed the finish line.
>You pump your fist and turn to Rainbow. "Good race." She gives you a look. "Anon, the race just started."
>You look up at the clock keeping track of the racers times. Seven seconds had passed since they took off.
>It seemed your eye was VERY well trained.

>A few hours later, the derby had ended an you and Rainbow had grabbed a bite on the way to the hotel.
>Full from your meal, you kept pace with Rainbow as she fluttered about and remarked at the escapades if the derby.
>"That part where Spitfire was in the lead but Soarin' swooped in from behind her!? Or when Fleetfoot completed that lap upside down!" 
>"I know Dash, I was there too." you say with a smile.
>She flaps her way behind you and wraps her hooves around your shoulder. "You like doing that, don't you?" She nuzzles her face into your cheek. "I like not having to watch where I'm going." she say.
>"Then you probably want someone with a better track record of not running into walls." came a voice behind you.
>You and Rainbow both simultaneously yelp in surprise and wheel around. Mous was a few feet behind you standing with his hands in his pockets.
>"Jeeze, Mous, how did you sneak up on us?" Rainbow asked. Mous retains his uninterested expression and walks up to the two of you. "My species is only seen when we wish to be" he teases.
>You roll your eyes and keep walking, Mous falling in with you. A glance showed you that he still had his backpack on.
>"Didn't stop by the hotel?"
>"Nnnope." he answered.
>"Do everything you wanted around the city?"
>"Eeyup."
>You walk in silence for a bit.
>"Plotting anything?"
>"Eeyup"
>"Gonna tell me?"
>"Nnnope."
>"Have you been hanging out with Big Mac?" Rainbow asked.
>Mous glanced out of the corner of his eye and smirked. "He's a real talker once you get him started."

>Your hotel room was pretty standard. A main bedroom with a TV and a living room with a fold out. The single bathroom would be crappy if you were staying any longer then you were.
>The three of you spent the evening watching pony cable TV for the first time. They had similar channels to Earth; a cooking channel, a sports channel, even a channel that only played shitting soap operas in another language.
>Evening turns into night as the hours pass and you all get ready for bed.
>Mous bids the both of you goodnight as he surrenders the bathroom to you.
>You shit, brush, and climb into bed, Rainbow crashing down next to you.
>You lay there for a while before something interrupts you. "Hey, Anon..." You open an eye to look and Rainbow. "Let's sneak a peek at what he's got in that backpack." she says. 
>That was probably a bad idea. Whatever was in there, Mous didn't want you to see it. Hell, it probably bit. "Let's leave him to his toys." you say.
>"Besides..." you pull her closer. "I can think of a way better way to spend our time." Rainbow gets a wry smile. "Oh yeah?..." she says.
>You lock your lips with hers as you pull Rainbow on top of you, she makes the cutest squeaks as you rub your hands down her back.
>You break the kiss.  "Hold on." You say.
>"Hey, Mous." You bang twice on the connecting wall. "What." you hear from the other room. "Go do something for a while."
>You hear him sigh. "You get a half hour, and I'm taking my bag with me." he says.
>You return your attention to Rainbow as you hear the door shut.
>Not bad for a first date.

=BiE 26=

-Music: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DHUkBAIOHzY-
>Sunday.
>Around four in the afternoon.
>Anon and Rainbow went off to the Wonderbolts museum, which was good. If they stayed in bed all day they'd work themselves into a rut.
>Ba-zing.
>It worked out for you though.
>It gave you time to do what you came here to do.
>You approach your target.
>Canterlot Castle: Home of Princesses Celestia, Luna, and countless other nobles.
>You had spent most of yesterday scoping it out, even took a guided tour.
>The ground floor with the throne room was mostly for the tourists, you were aiming higher.
>Past that was the residences, where everypony from the royal sisters to the royal eighth-aunt-twice-removed lived. Closer, but not optimum.
>Above that was the little used maintenance hallways with roof access. That was what you were aiming for.
>Anon had told you that both princesses were at the derby yesterday.
>If these ponies were anything like people, they would be relaxing at home after a day at the races.
>And if one pony in particular behaved the way you thought she did, then the roof was your best chance of getting to her.
>That was your plan.
>Get inside.
>Get to the rood.
>And prank Celestia.

>You enter the castle walls.
>Two guards stood by the door.
>Easy.
>You toss them both a wave.
>"Hey, the Princess called me in. She wants to me some stuff about my homeworld."
>The two of them exchange looks. "We weren't notified."
>"Yeah, it was kinda sudden. She caught me at the derby yesterday and invited me over."
>The two of them exchange another glance.
>These two were the biggest hurdle, they could stop this plan before it started.
>Not that you'd give up, there was always another way.
>"What's in the bag?" the ask.
>Half-truths, Mous.
>"Just some stuff from my world I brought with me, I figured I'd show the Princess. I have some clothes...a toothbrush...and a music player." you list off.
>The guards exchange one final glance before they step aside.
>"The Princess is in her quarters." they say.
>You offer a quick bow and head inside.
>Phase one: Done.
>That was fairly simple.
>It's not those guards fault they didn't ask which princess you were here to see, it's not like this stuff happens too often.
>With an alibi and a pair of witnesses secured, you make your way through the castle.
>Your strategy of "Walk around like you own the place." is doing you well, nopony asks what you're doing here.
>Okay...from the tour yesterday, the stairs up should be behind the throne room.
>You find the stairs and sneak your way up. Phase two begins now. 

>Phase one may have had the biggest opportunity for failure, but phase two is no slouch.
>If anyp0ny caught you up here, they could pretty easily call your alibi into question by simply asking the princess.
>Getting caught by Celestia with your pants down wasn't something you wanted to happen. Both figuratively and literally. 
>You keep your head held high as you walk. It would deter a cursory glance, at least.
>You spot a mirror hanging from the wall up ahead.
>You can spot two guards on duty in its reflection.
>Fuck. Sneaking by wasn't an option.
>You take a knee by a vase to think.
>You're so caught up that you don't notice the pony sneaking up on you.
>"Who are you?" they whispered.
>You don't like being snuck up on as it is. That goes double when you're trespassing.
>You shoot up from your knee and nudge the vase.
>Fuck!
>You spin around and stop the vase from moving before it crashes.
>Heh. It seems all those days of playing games in Anon's living room have paid off.
>You turn to face your new friend.

>He was taller than most ponies, white coat, goldilocks mane, unicorn horn, and a...lapel?
>"Who are you?"
>The colt gets a disbelieving look on his face. "I asked first." he says.
>Had you there. 
>"I'm Mous, I met the Princesses a few months ago. You?"
>He leans his head to the side and his incredulous frown gets deeper.
>"I am Prince Blueblood. I have been RELATED to the Princesses for my entire life."
>A noble? Named 'Blueblood'? You have stopped being surprised.
>He gets in your face. "Why are you here!? Only members of the royal family live on this floor."
>Remember your cover.
>"The Princess sent for me, I was looking for her room."
>He doesn't buy it. "It's day. No one knows that Princess Luna is even awake and Princess Celestia has been...indisposed...for the entire day."
>Well, there's your confirmation on her habitual behavior.
>But fuck. There goes your alibi.
>Dammit!
>You ignore Blueblood as you slump on the nearby wall and think of the consequences of this.
>You would probably be detained for a bit. Hauled off. Anon and Rainbow would be grabbed and asked why you snuck into the palace.
>As for punishment? You don't see why Celestia wouldn't take matters into her own hooves, especially if you were so keen on interrupting her.
>You're she would find the right irony for your punishment...
>You shudder.
>Blueblood wants answers. "Well!?"
>You sigh.
>"I'm here to prank Celestia." 
>He tilts his head. "Prank?"
>"Yes, prank. It's sort of like a game we play, we try to mess with each other whenever we meet."
>That was the best explanation you had for your relationship with Celestia.
>Blueblood leans his head towards you. "What kind of prank?"
>You grab his ear and whisper your plan to him.

>A devious smile parts Bluebloods lips as he hears what you have in store.
>"And you're sure it would work?" he says.
>You simply nod.
>"Then get up, I'll help you get past the guards." he says.
>Whoa what?
>"You're helping me? Why?"
>You never did anything for this guy.
>"Maybe I can just appreciate a good prank?" he says with a smirk.
>Holy shit, did you just make a bro?
>Broblood signals you back to him as he walks a few feet back.
>"Play along." he whispers.
>"And so there I was, with cake all over my new tie, when who walks in? But the duke of Trottingham."
>He leads you down the halls past the guards as he talks, he must not have guests because they seem a bit shocked.
>"I was so embarresed, I ran as fast as I could into the bathroom to wash up, luckily the dukes lovely daughter was kind enough-"
>He throws you around a corner and peeks back at the guards.
>"They aren't moving." he whispers.
>"Where to?" he says as he turns back to you.
>This was starting to look up.
>"The roof, that's the best bet."
>"Follow me." he says with a grin.

>The royal apartments had quite a few guards.
>Luckily, your new companion was able to talk his way past every single one of them.
>"There it is." Bluebro says pointing towards a wooden door at the end of the hall.
>You make for the door when a familiarly regal voice stops you. "Nephew?"
>You both spin around. "A-Aunt Luna?" Blueblood. says.
>Luna walks towards the two of you. "What, may We ask, art the two of you doing?"
>Luna motions towards your backpack. "And what is that thou carries?"
>Shit think fast.
>"Blueblood and I met at the market yesterday...and...he was giving me a tour of the palace."
>Luna looks confused. "Then, why art thou headed for the roof?
>Fuck.
>"The view?"
>Luna takes a step towards Blueblood and smiles. "We are proud of thee nephew! Tis so nice to see thee making friends after the...unpleasantness...at the Grand Galloping Gala."
>Blueblood doesn't miss a beat. "Thank you Aunt Luna, it's nice to be making friends."
>"Well, we shan't keep you from your day." Luna says as she walks off.
>Blueblood and you both exhale a sigh of relief and enter the door to the roof staircase behind you.

>The staircase leads you to a door with the best view you've ever seen.
>You can see almost all of Canterlot from up here. From the main gates and the train station, to the Wonderbolts stadium. You can even spot your hotel.
>The sun was starting it's decent, giving you plenty of afternoon light to disrupt an afternoon delight.
>Bluebro leads you to his best approximation of where Celestia's roof is.
>You hear it before you get there.
>Shit. You didn't have much time if the growing crescendo of their voices was any indicator.
>You throw your bag down and start unpacking your things.
>"So, what did Luna mean by 'unpleasantness'?"
>Blueblood sighs "Up until recently, I was a selfish, bigoted, ungrateful pony who was only interested in himself. At the latest Grand Galloping Gala, it finally came to a head when I tossed a mare in front of me to avoid a falling cake."
>That sounds like a tale.

>"It culminated with the mare screaming at me and driving me away. When I heard what the other ponies were saying about me...I..I couldn't bare it, because every word of it was true. From that day on, I have strived towards self improvement in an attempt to assuage the damage I have done.
>Damn, you could feel for him.
>Having a shit reputation is the worst, especially around people you like.
>"Hey. I don't care what everyone else says, you did good by me today. Thanks"
>You hold out your fist, Bluebro bumps his hoof against it.
>"You should get out of here, Celestia will be pissed when she hears."
>"Are you sure you can handle her?" he asks with concern in his eyes.
>You smirk.
>"Don't worry, Bro. This was the plan all along."
>Bluebro nods and gallops off to the door you entered.
>The voices coming from the open window below you were getting more intense.
>Nothing to do now but wait...

>You were Princess Celestia, and you were getting laid.
>You had met him at the derby yesterday, Fancypants, his name was.
>He had spoken about a mare companion often, but it seemed they were on a break.
>Which was perfect, Fancypants was good at this.
>"Ah...come on...come on..."
>Fancypants increased his fervor.
>Just then, a sound wafted through your window.
>The sound of music.
>It sounded like something with strings.
>Was the royal band practicing? Oh well, didn't matter.
>"Ah! Right there! Don't stop!"
>Fancypants grunted and started giving it his all.
>By the stars, you were close.
>"Keep going!"
>That music was still continuing.
>Where was that coming fro-aaaaahhhh!
>Any second now...
>That music was really nice...
>But where was it...
>Just then, the music got words.
>"Here comes the sun..."
>WHAT?
>"WHAAAAAAAHHHHHH!?"
>NO!
>NO DAMMIT NO!
>THAT MUSIC RUINED IT!
>"P-Princess?" Fancypants spoke.
>"Wait here."
>You were more terse with him then you wanted, but what did he expect? This ruined your afternoon.
>You fly off your balcony and follow the source of the music.
>Was it coming from the roof?
>You flew up and saw the source of the disturbance.
>Him.
>He was laying on your roof, head in hand, grinning like a madman. 
>Next to him sat a small white square that was projecting the music you heard.
>He spoke.
>"Princess Celestia, has anyone ever told you that you would make an absolutely lovely tenor?"

-Optional music: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U6tV11acSRk-
-Mous PoV-
>Shit eating grin: ON MOTHERFUCKER.
>Music: Staying on, who doesn't like The Beatles?
>Celestia, it seems.
>She landed on the roof a few feet away.
>"Hello Princess, like my little concert?"
>She just glared at you. "What are you doing here?"
>You carefully got up, this joke would be ruined if you went and fell off the damn roof.
>"Why, just seranading Canterlot with some music from my world. I was in the area and I thought "You know, the Princess would really like some of this music, and I have to pay her back for checking on me during estrus." so I worked my way up here, found your room, and here I am.
>"Why, I didn't interrupt anything, did I?"
>You stared her down.
>This was your biggest gamble, whether she would take it well.
>Her eyes stare right into yours.
>You can't break contact here, if this goes tits up, your gall might be the only thing that saves you from a trip to the moon.
>You were peripherally watching her mouth for the signs of...
>Yes!
>"I think I see a smile..."
>Celestia quickly turns her head away as she works to regain her composure.
>You still hear a few giggles escape.
>"I'm glad you enjoyed my show, Princess."
>She turns back to you, composure restored, but a smile present.
>"Yes, very elaborate, very fitting. You certainly have thought this through, haven't you?"
>You give a wide shrug.
>"I told you, I'm a bit of an odd guy."
>You cross your arms and begin to relax...this isn't over yet.
>Celestia takes a step closer "However."
>And there it is.

>"There is the matter of how you managed to sneak directly above my room in the royal palace, I'm sure my Captain of the Guard would like to have a word with you about that."
>Hmm...you could work with this.
>"Come on Celestia, there's no fun in that. At least give me a handicap."
>"Such as?" she asks as she opens her mouth into an unnaturally wide grin and flutters her eyelashes.
>"Three hour head start."
>"Two."
>"One and a half, and the guards don't know what they're looking for and can't follow outside of the city."
>Celestia stares at you for a second. "Deal."
>You extend your hand.
>"Shake on it."
>Celestia extends her hoof, you grab it and give it a good shake.
>"Well then, I suppose I better get moving? You should go see to your boyfriend. I'm sure he can help you with that Cyan Cunt you have now."
>Celestia just stares at you confused.
>"Oh, just get out of here."
>What was the female term for blue balls anyway?


>You haul it back to the hotel, Anon and Rainbow better be there and not naked or you're leaving without them.
>You run up the stairs and burst into the room.
>Rainbow and Anon are sitting on the couch together watching TV. "Dude, we have to get cable at the house." Anon says.
>"No time. Pack. We're going."
>Anon looks confused and alarmed. "Uh...Dude? Is something wrong?"
>You don't have the time for this. 
>You grab Anon by the shoulders. 
>"You know how bros have that thing where they sometimes need you to not say a word and just go along with whatever they say? And he'll handle everything?"
>Anon shakes his head wordlessly.
>"Well, this is that time. We have, like, twenty minutes to get out of the city before the guards get he-"
>You hear shouting from outside.
>You run to the window and pear out. It looked like half the royal legion was outside
>Some white unicorn in a purple accented suit of armor was calling out orders. "Spread out! We're looking for anything out of the ordinary!"
>This was against the deal, but you found yourself smiling.
>"Celestia you bitch..."
>This reminds you of a song...how did it go?
>Oh yeah, Dat bass line.
>Anon grabs your shoulder. "What's going on, dude?"
>You reach into your bag and pull out your sunglasses.
>Sunglasses you slowly lower onto your face as you recite the words you've wanted to for so long.
>"I think it's time we blow this scene, get everybody and the stuff together." 
>Okay. 
>3.
>2. 
>1. 
>Let's Jam!

-Music: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n6jCJZEFIto-
>You, Anon and Dash burst out of the hotel back door.
>Get to the train station. 
>Alert no guards.
>"This way."
>You lead them through an alley to the street behind the hotel.
>"You sure this is a good idea, Bro!?" Anon shouts.
>You turn to shout back at him.
>"Of course it is!"
>He looked scared.
>You must still have your psycho grin on.
>Shit pegusi in the air.
>"Under that overhang!"
>You can see the train station.
>There's  a squad of guards out front.
>"Mous, guards!" Anon cries.
>"I'll handle this, just run past them!" you call back.
>Anon and Rainbow blow past the bewildered guards as you grab the one in the lead.
>"You have to stop him! There's some crazy Gryphon in that store and he's holding them hostage!
>"W-what!?" the guard says. "Come on, this could be it!" he calls to his friends.
>Ha. Idiot.
>You all get through the turnstile and look for your train.
>"There it is!" Rainbow cries.
>Fuck! It was pulling out!
>You all race towards the rapidly leaving train.
>"There they are, get em!" you hear from over your shoulder.
>A quick peek; Fuck! Guards!
>"Rainbow, carry Anon and land on that caboose!"
>Rainbow grabs Anon under the armpits and carries him to the train.
>Only have you now.
>"Outa my way!" you shout to the ponies in front of you.
>You can hear the guards hot on your tail.
>The train leaves the platform.
>Gotta jump!
>You grab ahold of the bars on the back and Rainbow and Anon pull you up.
>Eat your heart out James Bond.
>You turn and flip the guards back on the station the bird.
>All earth ponies. Nice.
>You turn to Anon.
>"See, told you I'd take care of everything."

=BiE alt 26=

The following is a non-canon event that occurs as an alternate ending to Bros in Equestria 26: Master Plan. Enjoy.

>"I'm glad you enjoyed my show, Princess."
>She turns back to you, composure restored, but a smile present.
>"Yes, very elaborate, very fitting. You certainly have thought this through, haven't you?"
>You give a wide shrug.
>"I told you, I'm a bit of an odd guy."
>You cross your arms and begin to relax...this isn't over yet.
>Celestia takes a step closer "However."
>And there it is.
>"There is the matter of how you managed to sneak directly above my room in the royal palace, I'm sure my Captain of the Guard would like to have a word with you about that."
>Hmm...you could work with this.
>"Come on Celestia, there's no fun in that. At least give me a handicap."
>"Such as?" she asks as she opens her mouth into an unnaturally wide grin and flutters her eyelashes.
>"Three hour head start."
>Celestia brings a hoof to her chin. "No. I think not..."
>Huh?
Not good...
>"You interrupted my fun, Mous. While your little distraction did prove amusing, I simply cannot allow you to leave without...punishing you in some way."
>You really don't like the emphasis she put on that punishment...
>"While I'm sure Fancypants would compose himself again soon, it only seems fitting that the one who ruined my day attempt to salvage some of it."
>Is she.
>Did she.
>"Princess, are you propositioning me?"
>Celestia lets loose a throaty chuckle. "Mous, "propositioning" implies that you have the option of turning me down."

>She can't be serious.
>"You can't be serious."
>Celestia takes a few steps towards you, you find yourself backing away. "I'm quite serious, Mous. However...if you feel like being recalcitrant...I could always send some of my guards off to that hotel off of Mane Street..."
>You thrust a finger towards Celestia.
>"That's a fucking dirty trick."
>"And it's going to work, isn't it?" She asks with a toothy grin.
>You stand there, shaking in your rage for a bit.
>This cunt thinks she can blackmail you into screwing her?
>You start running through every plan you can think of as a way of escaping here...
>...but you come up blank.
>Brain! What the hell!?
She's holding all the cards here, man.
>And she knows it...
>You feel your fists shake as you consider this.
>You either have to have blackmail sex with Celestia, or send Anon and Rainbow up the river.
>Dammit...that's not a choice.
>You glare at her as you spit out your words.
>"Where's. Your. Room?"
>Celestia smiles and lowers her body to the ground. "Hop on~." she coos.
>Bitch.
>You jump onto Celestia's back and hold on as she takes off from the roof and lands on her balcony below.
>Some unicorn is standing in her room. "Mister Fancypants, I'm afraid that I must cut out meeting short. I have...an important matter to attend to."
>Fancypants continues to eye you as he trots to the door. "Of...course Princess...good day."
>You can still feel him looking at you as the door closes and you hop down.
>You take a few paces around the room and glare back at your captor.
>"Go wash yourself out. I'm not doing your boyfriends sloppy seconds."
>Celestia sighs. "I suppose that is a fair request." she says as she trots into the bathroom.

>You settle yourself the edge of the bed as the bathroom door closes.
>Uhg. I can't believe this is happening...
But it is happening, dude.
>We're supposed to be better than this.
She outplayed us. Come on, we have to do this.
>Fucking bitch.
>You slowly rub your temples and toss your bag and sweatshirt onto a nearby chair.
>The bathroom door reopens and Celestia steps out.
>She levitates her crown and other jewelry over to a beauty desk in the corner. "Ahh. Much better."
>She stares at you through lidded eyes. "Shall we begin?"
>The room stays silent for a bit.
>"If you're expecting me to start us off, you're an idiot."
>Celestia sighs as she trots over to you. "Mous, the beautiful leader of a powerful nation has taken you into her bed. Would it kill you to enjoy it a bit?"
>Beautiful?
>"Your narcissism aside, I am here against my will. What could be enjoyable about that?
>Celestia props her forelegs up onto your shoulders and pushes you back onto the bed.
>She leans down to your ear and whispers. "Why don't I show you?" 
>Celestia brings her mouth against yours and all but forces her tongue in.
>You simply lie there as Celestia probes the interior of your mouth with her tongue.
>Eventually, she breaks away and gives you a disappointed look. "You're just going to lie there like a dead fish, aren't you?"
>You had no intention of making this easy for her.
>"You have a lot of experience making out with dead fish?"
>Celestia grunts. "You could at least pretend that you're into this..."
>Tch.
>"But I'm not, and you know it. Your feminine wiles don't work on me."
>Celestia grins a bit. "Oh. We'll see."
>With that she plunges back into your mouth.

>You lay there for a while, letting Celestia do as she pleases. 
>She'll eventually get bored. Maybe.
>Celestia is writhing around inside your mouth something fierce.
>You admit, under normal circumstances, it may feel nice. But dammit, you were determined to not make this fun for her.
>Not that you seem to be making any headway on that front. Celestia is moaning and gasping as she grips your head and tries to massage the backs of your teeth.
>Celestia has also been gyrating her hips a bit. She hasn't done anything remarkable ye-
>Suddenly, Celestia moves herself around and manages to nudge your member directly into the area she was rubbing on.
>Fuck! Was that her plan all along with this?
>Celestias gyrations bring a spark of life to your little soldier.
>Damnable traitorous appendage!
>Celestia stops the tongue assault for a moment. "It seems I have found what I'm looking for..."
>That little moment of surprise is all it takes for Celestia to get a foothold.
>Suddenly, her tongue in your mouth starts to feel great. While her rubbing on your crotch breaks down your mental defenses even more.
>Your brain was offline and not answering your calls, you were on your own now...
>Shit! You can hear her giggling! You're losing this!
>In a bout of competition induced panic, your hands rocket up and grab her by the wings.
>Celestia breaks away from your mouth and emits a moan that fills the room, and also sends your jimmies rustling back to the dawn of time.

>Celestia rests her head next to yours. "My! It seems that we may get you going after all!"
>"Sh-shut u-mmf!"
>Celestia's tongue snakes its way back into your mouth as her hips take it into double time.
>You find your body betraying you. Your tongue begins to wrestle with Celestia's for control while your hands make use of your time at the spa and work their way up Celestias wings, eliciting a low moan from the monarch.
>"You're quite good at that..." she gasps.
>"Heh. Comes with the territory at a massage parlor."
>Celestia evades your mouth and nibbles at your neck. "Mmmm~ I wonder what else they teach you there?" 
>This again?
>"I'm not a hooker, Celestia. I'm sure you are well aware of their habits."
>Celestia continues to playfully bite your neck. "Lower your arms." she says.
>You arms fall off her wings and you feel a gentle tugging on your chest.

>Your shirt pulls itself off of you and gets thrown across the room as Celestia traces a hoof down your torso. "Canterlot outlawed public brothels almost a millennia ago. Many were not happy about that piece of legislature..."
>"Was their monarch one of them?"
>Celestia chuckles and goes back to your neck. "Wouldn't you like to know?"
>You reach your arms back up to her wings and start rubbing.
>Okay...this wasn't torturous. Just another game...right?
>Suddenly, you feel your pants grow tighter. Way tighter.
>You look down to see them constricted in a white glow with one part in the center rising above the rest. "Oohhh...I think we may be ready..." she coos.
>Celestia trails her tongue down your bare chest and gets ever closer to your belt.
>No!
>Not ready! Not yet!
>You grab Celestia around her torso and roll the both of you over.
>Celestia's face mirrors your internal shock at now finding yourself on top of the monarch. "Well! I see you're getting a bit more into it now..." 

>You think of an excuse quick.
>"Uh. It's just. I'm a masseur. Wouldn't you like to feel -these- before we begin?"
>You flex your fingers as you speak.
>Celestia smiles. "Mmmyes...I think that is exactly what we need here..."
>Your hands fall to Celestias legs as you silently breathe a sigh of relief.
>Okay...bought yourself some time...
>You regress your mind back to what you learned at work and apply it here, gliding over Celestia's legs, her stomach, giving her rump a light once over.
>Light moans escaped from the monarch as you worked.
>You eventually drift to the exterior Celestia's leg, her moans intensifying as you slide over her Cutey Mark.
>You glance up at her lidded eyes. 
>"The Princess has a sensitive flank, huh? Have none of your boytoys worked that out?"
>"Shut up and get to work, Mous..." she gasps.
>You chuckle to yourself as you ply your trade on her thigh.
>The moans and gasps she releases as you work aren't helping.
>You're really trying hard not to think about...about -that- aspect of this.
>You continue to work and try to drown her out until you find Celestia's leg sliding away from you.
>You meet her sultry gaze. "You've done quite enough down there...it is time we went a bit...further..."

>Celestia spreads her legs and shifts her tail, revealing that which stallions have probably killed for and of which growing colts dream of at night.
>And of which is scaring the hell out of you.
>Okay...you have to think of something to stall with.
>You grip her flank as you eye her marehood.
>You audibly gulp.
>Celestia is still writhing from the cutey mark massage you have her.
>Oh well. No time like the present.
>”BANZAI!”
>You dive in between her legs and ram your tongue in as far as it can go.
>They probably heard Celestia cry out back in Ponyville, you're amazed that the guards don't burst in.
>Hell, that would probably make Celestias day.
>As you probe around, you come to a realization.
>You have no idea what you're doing.
>You pull apart Celestia's folds and begin exploring around, at first with your tongue, but eventually you bring a finger in.
>Celestia won't stop moaning. "Ohhh...yes...right there. Oh, it must be heaven where you humans come from..."
>You stop your assault and peer up at her between her legs.
>"'You humans?' Princess, I have a na-*gak*!"
>A levitating pillow forces you back between her legs. "Mous, if you do not continue what you were doing I'm sending you to the moon after this."
>You silently lift an arm high enough for her to see and extend a single finger. "I don't know what that means, Mous."
>Hmm.
>You take your finger and jam it deep in Celestia's marehood. "AAAAH! BUCK YOU!"
>"Actually, yeah! Just that!"

>You eventually settle on a strategy for Celestia.
>You begin licking her clit and slowly insert your tongue into her.
>Celestia bucks and moans at your secret weapon.
>Calligraphy.
>You grip Celestia's thighs and spell out each letter with your tongue, as slowly as you can.
>"Banana" gets her going.
>You think you hear her mumble your name at "Coupling".
>She's speaking in gibberish at "Duodenum".
>The sheets below her are getting drenched with her juices as you continue.
>You're halfway through the first verse of Piano Man with special guest star; your little finger, when Celestia clenches down and releases an accompanying groan.
>You're about to ask what was up when Celestia's babbling brook becomes a tidal wave.
>One that hits you square in the face.
>"Gah! Fuck! Gross!"
>Your protests are drowned out by Celestia's moaning, however.
>You wipe your mouth out on the curtains as Celestia calms down.
>"A little warning next time!"
>Celestia laughs. "Here's your warning." she says.
>A white glow surrounds your pants and starts to drag you towards her. "If that's what you can do with your mouth...what you can do down there will be just as interesting..."
>Your legs are pulled ever faster to the bed as Celestia spreads her legs again.
>NOPE.
>NO.
>You slip out of your boots and slide your belt off as you shimmy your way out of your pants.
>You land on the floor in your boxers and socks as you slide yourself back until you hit the wall.

>Celestia sighs and hops off her bed. "I was unaware that you were that fearful..."
>"W-what are you?"
>"Mous, I have been alive for over a thousand years and lived my current lifestyle for many of them." she says with a small smile.
>Celestia lays down on the floor in front of you, her head resting on her legs. "I can smell purity a mile away."
>Your breathing is heavy and rapid. This was seriously freaking you out.
>Celestia chuckled. "Has anyp0ny ever told you that you're cute when you're flustered?"
>"Wh-what?"
>Celestia chuckles and starts to nibble your collarbone again. "I said..."
>"You..." she trails down to your chest.
>She's on your stomach. "Are cute..."
>She magic's down your boxers, you feel your tip strike her neck. "When you're flustered."
>Celestia moves her mouth of you the head of your member.
>You must have looked terrified, because she just smiled and said. "Relax."
>She kisses the top of your erect member, you moan.
>Celestia gives a devious smile and lets a bit more of you into her mouth this time, before she pulls back.
>She goes a bit father on the third time, almost halfway down now.
>You can't help yourself.
>"Either d-do it or piss off Celes..celes-Celly."
>You can't tell with her mouth full, but you think you see a smile.
>Then Celestia takes you in all the way to your base.

>Your mouth hangs open in a silent shout as Celestia bobs her head up and down in your lap.
>"F-fu-"
>You can't get your words out as Celestia traces her tongue around your shaft.
>That felt...Damn.
>"You-You bi-"
>You grunt as Celestia twists her head as she bobs.
>"Youuurr good at that..."
>A muffled "Mhmm!" breaks through the sounds of Celestia going to town on you.
>You recite a mental oath you once heard helps in these scenarios.
>There once was a man from Nantucket...
>Who once had a queen on his dick.
>No! That's not right!
>Shit. Celestia was picking up her pace.
>She was alternating between bobbing and twisting on your member and simply going down as far as she could and letting her tongue dance around you.
>Her horn catches your eye as she bobs. Work at the spa had taught you that those were sensitive.
>You reach out and grab her horn, causing Celestia to release another moan and stop in her tracks.
>Celestia's eyes snap open and lock in your direction.
>You absentmindedly shift your hand to the base of her horn, getting another moan for your trouble.
>Celestia opens her mouth and pulls herself off you...with her tongue spiraling off your cock a moment later. "Is that how you want to play it...?" she huffs out.
>"Well...gotta fight back somehow..."
>Celestia repositions herself. "You're on, Mous..."

>The two of you lay there for a while.
>Celestia bobbing her head up and down on you as you stroked her horn.
>Both of your moans and gasps filled the room.
>You might have even mumbled her name a few times...
>All and all, this wasn't as terrible as you had first thought.
>You look down at Celestia.
>"Oh come on, I've seen corpses with more vigor..."
>Celestia pops you out of her mouth. "Have much experience with corpses, do you?"
>You shrug.
>"Hey, school was expensive. I needed to make a living."
>Celestia rolls her eyes and pushes her way down your length again, offering a wink as she resumes her bobbing.
>At least if you're being blackmailed into sex, you're getting blackmailed by someone who can take a necrophilia joke.
>You place a hand on Celestia's head and go back to work on her horn, stroking it in a way you assumed would feel nice.
>Celestia begins to pick up her pace and so must you.
>Your moans pick up in intensity and frequency as the Celestia licks your shaft and you bring in both hands for her horn.
>Celestia starts to make strange noises, a combination of moans and words you don't recognize as you continue.
>You're getting close to your limit as well.
>"A-Ah...Fu-"
>Celestia moans and groans and clenches her throat, sending you over the edge.
>"Ah! Motherfu-
>Suddenly, white sparks erupt from Celestia's horn and impact on the wall behind you.
>"FUCKING SHI-AH-Ah-ah-ah..."
>Celestia makes more muffled moans and grunts as you wrap your arms around her neck and shoot your seed down her throat.

>You lie against the wall as Celestia cleans up for you in silence.
>Eventually, the two of you are simply laying there in peace.
>You decide to shatter that peace.
>"So, did I just dodge a magic facial?"
>Celestia laughs a bit. "When our horns are over stimulated...they tend to release a bit of pent up magic."
>"And I'm guessing that feels good?"
>Celestia nuzzles her head into your lap. "Very..." she says in a sultry tone.
>"Well. A little warning next time."
>"You could do with that yourself, mister. I almost choked."
>"I'm inexperienced. You have no excuse."
>Celestia laughs but says nothing.
>A bit of conversation can't hurt.
>"...Hey. LightBrite?"
>"Hmmm?" Celestia coos.
>"What's the most you've gone in a day?"
>Celestia brings a hoof to her chin. "I remember once going twelve rounds before noon...that was probably a record."
>You laugh.
>"Princess, every guy I knew could do that. It's called 'being single in college'."
>Celestia begins tracing a hoof on your thigh. "And can -you- do that?"
>"No no...my endurance stems from pure concentrated ire."
>Celestia looks up at you. "Ire?"
>You fold your hands behind your head. 
>"I just can't get off unless I hate the other person."

>Celestia smiles. "Well then..."
>Celestia hops to her feet and makes her way to the bed.
>She climbs up and sticks her rear into the air. "I must be the best you've ever had."
>You laugh.
>"Not the biggest reference pool here, huh? Besides, no one can hate you Slutopatra."
>Celestia makes a pouty face. "Awww...Scared the big bad Sun Princess will outlast you?"
>Oh no she didn't.
>"Is that a challenge?"
>Celestia waves her ass in the air. "What if it is?"
>You climb to your feet and hop on the bed.
>"Well...if it were a challenge...there would have to be a prize..." you say as you stroke her marehood.
>The mess she made before is starting to return. "Ooohhh...and what would that prize be?" Celestia says as she buries her face into her bed.
>"A new game. First one to climax has to take it somewhere...else...next round."
>Celestia turns her head to face you. "A contest against me? Daring..."
>"That is not a no."
>Celestia bumps her rear against you. She was ready to go. "No, I suppose it isn't."
>You position yourself behind Celestia and slowly drive your member into her.
>You can feel the walls inside press and conform as they get used to you.
>Celestia releases a low moan as you thrust, you can squelch such outbursts.
>"Ready, sunshine?"
>"Nnngggg...shut up, Mous."
>Yes ma'am.
>You begin thrusting slowly at first. Aiming to lest Celestia grow accustomed to you.
>Celestia has other plans. She waits until you pull back and then slams herself back onto you. Had.
>You silently scream as Celestia turns her head to you. "We already went slow...why not speed things up a bit?"
>"She'll regret that. Maybe." You tell yourself.

>You begin thrusting into Celestia at an increased pace.
>Celestia moans and writhes as you continue before she clamps her muscles down tight around you.
>You stop moving at the new sensation. "Oh no...Has the human met his match~?" Celestia gloats.
>Oh.
>Now it's on.
>You thrust into her a bit and lull her back into her comfort zone. It is then that you strike.
>It is then that your hands lash out and grab both Celestia's horn, and the small node where her wings meet.
>It's Celestia's turn to stop moving and groan. But this sounds more pleasurable then yours.
>You don't slow down, however, and continue to slide in and out of her with increasing speed. "That's-cheating-Mous!" she gasps out in rhythm with your thrusts.
>Celestia picks that time to clamp herself down as hard as she can.
>"Nnngg...That's...what you get...for having this many...erogenous zones...!" you grunt.
>You are NOT losing this challenge.
>If not for your pride, then for your anal virginity.
>Losing something once in a day is enough, thank you.
>You go all out and begin thrusting into Celestia with wild abandon. You're able to tilt her wing back and fit the tip in between her teeth as your hand massages the other.
>Your other hand is stroking an twisting Celestia's horn at high speed. When you look you can see some sparks popping out.
>Celestia is moaning loud enough to raise the dead and you're going through anything you can to distract your brain.
>FIRST I WHIP IT OUT.
>THEN I THRUST IT.
>WITH GREAT FORCE! Ow...
>EVERY ANGLE...!
>IT PENETRATES!
>Celestia is practically screaming now. You think you hear your name but you can't tell.
>UNTILL.
>WITH GRE-AT STRENGHT!
>I...
>RAM IT IN!

>Celestia's wings shoot out and her horn erupts into the Fourth of July.
>You can feel her juices run over your member and down your leg.
>Her moans fill the entire city and she squeezes you tight, causing you to fall over the edge yourself.
>Your mind goes white as you spill your seed, you come back to yourself with a panting Celestia on the bed.
>"In the end...we are all satisfied..."
>You walk on your knees and collapse next to Celestia.
>"And you are set free..."
>You turn and look at Celestia. Disheveled mane, sweaty brow, and all. "Very...poetic..." she pants out.
>You take a deep breath and compose yourself. 
>"I like to bring the arts to as many things as I can."
>You turn your gaze back to her.
>"Did I bring it to you?"
>Celestia pushes herself off the bed. "I am certainly feeling inspired." she says.
>She eyes your flaccid member. "Now...I believe that we had an accord? Somewhere..."else" as you put it?"
>Whoa...
>"You know I was joking...right? And even the-"
>"Mous, I will not sit here and have my royal honor impugned upon." 
>She pulls herself up to you head. "And if you're worried about your endurence..."
>Celestia locks her lips with yours and invades your mouth with her tongue again.
>You feel your heart rate increase and your member slowly start to rise.
>Celestia breaks away from you and looks down at your now erect manhood. "I wouldn't worry about it."

-Music: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=grGrN_nuWg8-
>Celestia positions herself above you.
>"You're sure about this?"
>"Are you backing out now, Mous?" she asks with a smile.
>Your face contorts to one of annoyance and you swiftly lift your waist up and prod her at her back door.
>Celestia gasps before she adopts a large smirk. She then slowly begins to lower herself on you.
>Okay...fuck! This...This is different...
>You grip Celestia by her flank and let her set the pace here.
>She gyrates herself on top of your member, letting it slide in and out.
>She has much better control of her muscles back here, and begins to toy with you as she grinds.
>You try to stem the damage by reaching up and massaging her wings again, but it's slow going compared to what she's got.
>"Mmmm...see Mous? See how much better this day turned out then you thought?" she asked as she bounced herself on top of you.
>Mind reading abilities aside. You had to take control back if you wanted to go for a hat trick.
>You were going to need leverage...
>You reach your hands up and grab both Celestia's wings.
>You massage them until you feel her increase the pace, when you start to pull her back.
>Celestia is putting her heart into it and doesn't notice her body moving.
>It's not until you she loses balance and falls on top of you that you hear a yelp of surprise.
>You ignore the pain of having a horse fall back on you as you snap one of Celestia's wings out with one hand and slide into her marehood with the other.

>Now that you have leverage again, you take the pace for yourself.
>"You-are-cheating-again!" Celestia shouts in a mirror to what happened before.
>"Nope!" you shout as you thrust hard.
>"I'm winning again!"
>Hey, if Celestia didn't want this to turn into a competition, she shouldn't have thrown down that challenge.
>"You-You bastarahhh!" she cries as you continue your three pronged assault.
>As Celestia bucks against your thrusts, you manage to get her ear into your mouth and add a forth prong.
>It's not long before you feel your fingers inside of her grow stickier in conjunction with her cries getting louder.
>You feel her squeeze your hand as the muscle spasms of her orgasm travel through her body.
>They eventually reach the ones gripping your member and causes them to squeeze hard enough to send you over the edge.
>You shout in exertion as you pump your seed into the most coveted hole in the kingdom.

>The moans and shouts calm down and the room falls into silence.
>Celestia falls off of you and slides you out of her with a soft "Oh~"
>She curls up next to you as the two of you lay on the bed and rest after the days many events.
>You glance out the window and see that the sun is low in the sky, but just sort of hanging there.
>"Don't you have some sort of thing to do now?"
>Celestia silently raises from her bed and walks shaky legged to her balcony.
>A flash of light later and the sun begins its decent over the horizon, letting Luna's moon take the stage.
>Celestia falls back into her bed with a smile and a contented sigh. She begins to twirl your hair around with her magic as she runs a hoof over you. "So...I told you that twelve was my record and we've gotten to past round three...
>She looks you in the eye as you turn to her. "Care to see how long it takes us to get the other nine?"  she asks with a big smile.

>It's morning now.
>You had barely slept.
>The two of you had stopped when it was time for Celestia to raise the sun again.
>You lost count of what round you were on and of how much time had passed after Celestia announced you had broken her record.
>"Such is the depths of my competitive edge and ire." you had said.
>You were now riffling through the room looking for your things.
>"You're going to have to get this curtain rod replaced."
>"Oh, who cares?" You hear Celestia call from the bed.
>You throw your pants back on.
>"I'm sure your repairman cares, what kind of Princess are you that doesn't care about her subjects?"
>"The very content kind..."
>You toss your shirt on and throw your bag and sweatshirt over it. Celestia looks up at you from the bed. "Do you -have- to go? You know I'll put you up to let you sleep a bit." she groans.
>"First off, you sound like a teenager. Second, I can sleep on the train back. And third, we both know that neither of us would get a wink if I stayed here."
>Celestia raises from her bed. "Still, I'm glad your time here wasn't as horrible as you thought."
>"We should never not do this again." you snipe back.
>Celestia walks you to her door. "And to think, you only wanted a three hour head start..."
>"Would have saved me a ton of time." you say as you open the door.
>"Ah. But think of how wasted that time would have been if you were anywhere else but here...
>You had had a plan for your time before she got her magic on it...
>The two of you stand in the doorway in silence.
>"I really don't like you."
>Celestia chuckles and brings her lips to yours, you wrestle with her tongue for a minute before she releases you.
>"I really don't like you too."

=BiE 27=

>You brace yourself as the wind kicks up. Dammit, you were trying to calibrate this thing.
>"Twilight, can we move this thing? I can't work under these conditions." you say.
>Twilight is paying attention to the pegasus that just flew by. "6.7 wing power Spike, record that." Spike jots down he numbers as Twilight turns to you. "And I'm sorry Anon, but we need to be this close to get the most accurate readings."
>You groan and go back to work. Today you were helping Twilight calibrate an anemometer to track the power of each Pegasus's wing power. Ponyville had been chosen to make an artificial tornado to shoot water up to Cloudsdale and exact numbers were a must.
>Around you were various pegusi training their bodies to improve their scores.
>"I don't know what I been told!" "I DON'T KNOW WHAT I BEEN TOLD!" "The Princesses are mighty old!" "THE PRINCESSES ARE MIGHTY OLD!"

>You turn to watch the line of pegusi being led by a jogging human proceed down the track, you can't say you're surprised.
>It had been a week since Mous got you chased out of Canterlot and only gave 'It went as planned.' as an explanation, and he had been more rambunctious and demented ever since.
>He hadn't been like this since you were last on Earth.
>You weren't ruling out brain damage as the cause.
>You wave him down. He stops in front of you and the pegusi behind him stop with him. 
>"Aren't you and your bosses supposed to be taking care of pulled muscles? Isn't that what you were paid to do today?" you ask.
>He's jogging in place, where did he get this energy? "Took a break. Got bored. Two more laps and I'm back to it."  he takes off before you grab his arm. "Are you okay? You seem kinda...hyper." 
>He turns to you. "Would you rather I go back to pouting?" he asks before making a face and moving on.
>...Brain damage.

>You crouch down back to your little machine and start fiddling with it again, only to fall on your face from a sudden gust of wind. "Dammit! Who now?!" you shout.
>You turn around to see who interrupted you this time only to spot them laying on the ground, laughing.
>You -snrk!- you're working too hard Anon." Rainbow Dash giggled out.
>You crouch down and smile at he. "Working hard my ass. I've had to wind this fan three times because your pegusi keep tripping me up."
>Rainbow takes off and hovers as she points to you. "In more ways than one, huh?"
>You fall back on your ass and sit. "Yeah yeah, don't you have stuff you should be doing yourself? 'Coach'?"
>She crosses her hooves. "I'm on a break." she smirks.
>"Well, what about that guy." you say. You point behind her to a rather large pegasus who is jumping around shouting 'YEAH!' at everyone.
>Rainbow just sighs. "Him again..." she turns back to you. "See you in a little while, Anon." she says. She pecks you on the lips before she flies off.
>It still amazed you that she still tasted like rain.

>You turn back to your machine only to spot Twilight and Spike staring at you."...What?" you ask.
>"Rainbow Dash just kissed you." she said, dumbfounded."Well...yeah. We're kinda seeing each other." Did you forget to tell her?
>"When did this happen?"
>Yup. At least you see a small smile.
>"We escaped my house when the estrus started and hid in the woods. Things kinda...escalated." You can remember enough post-estrus conversation with her to know that Twilight gets somewhat uncomfortable when talking about intimate subjects. 
>Twilight blushes for a second but regains her composure quickly. "Well, I'm happy for the both of you. It's nice to see you enjoying your time in Equestria so much."
>Dash took it as a personal challange to ensure that you 'enjoyed' your time here. You have to say, she did a good job. But you enjoyed just being around her just as much.
>It also didn't hurt your abs as much...

>You finally get to finish calibrating this stupid machine as Dash gives the others a pep talk.
>You sat back and watched. Dash was giving orders like a drill sergeant, and Dammit, were these ponies listening. 
>This was something you always liked about Dash. She knew what she needed and didn't rest until she got it.
>Didn't that sound like someone else you-OHGOD.
>In your new state of abject horror and revulsion, you look over your shoulder.
>He was chasing Aloe and Lotus around the tent they had set up with a rolled up towel. "Haha! Stop it Mous!" they screamed. "Not until you admit that I am the Pungeon Master!" he bellowed.
>You shook your head and returned to Rainbow's speech.
>Okay, so your best friend and your marefriend shared an aspect, so what? That's normal.
>...
>No one must know.
>Your psychiatrist would have had a field day.

>You hear somep0ny walk up beside you. "Hey, Fluttershy. We missed you out here today." Fluttershy had come in yesterday, but had left early on. Apparently, due to low wing power.
>"H-hi, Anon." she said. You patted the ground next to you and she took a seat. The both of you watched the training pegusi in silence.
>You hear Fluttershy sigh. "It must be nice to be Rainbow Dash, she's always so confident about herself." She lowers her head a bit. "I wish I could be like that..."
>"Is that why we haven't seen you around as much?" She lets out a dejected sigh. "Yes...I'm just such a weak flier. I won't be any help here..."
>Shit. She looks depressed. You didn't know she was having confidence issues...
>Wait. Mous said something once to you about this...how did it go?
>"Well, I believe in you." Fluttershy looks up. "And Rainbow, and Twilight believe in you too."
>You turn to look at her. "Do you believe in us?
>"W-well, yes. But-" You stop her there. "No buts. We believe in you, and you in us. Take heart in that and you'll go far." She gets a smile and gives you a big hug. "Oh, thank you Anon. I'm going to go train my best with the others." she says as she flies off.
>You sit back and smile, Fluttershy was a sweet kid.
>Bit thick sometimes, though.

>Training was wrapping up for the day as the sun started to descend.
>Mous had left with Aloe and Lotus a while ago, it was just you and Twilight and a couple of straggling pegusi now.
>You cast your eyes across the field as you helped pack. Fluttershy was doing some wing-pushups and Dash was drilling Thunderlane about something.
>You were glad to finally learn his name, he had a sweet 'do.
>Twilight closes the case for her anemometer. "See you tomorrow for the big day, Anon!" she called back.
>You wave her off and wait for Rainbow to fly over. "Uhg. Stupid Thunderlane. He's not gonna show tomorrow, I know it."
>"Are you gonna be able to pull it off tomorrow?" you ask. She crosses her hooves and sulks."We might be able to, if we give it our all and everyone shows up...I just hate playing it this close."
>You may have been slow on figuring it out, but even you know what to do when your marefriend is sulky.
>"C'mere, you!" you shout as you grab her and pull her close."Pfft! Anon!" she shouts in protest. "Lemme go!" You fight her as she tries to twist out of your grip, eventually ending with the both of you face to face as she stops struggling in your grip. "Feeling better?" you ask.
>"A little..." she says. She pulls your head close and locks your lips. She eventually breaks away and grows a smile "Mmmmm...Now I feel better."
>You pull her closer. "Well, let's head back to the house and I can make you feel eve-"
>You hear a hitching sound to your left.
>You both turn to spot the source of the sound.
>It was Fluttershy. She was crying.

>"Uh...hey Fluttershy...what's-"
>That's as far as you get before she flies away, you can hear her sobbing as she gets over the hill.
>Damn, where was this yesterday?
>Also, what the buck just happened?
>You turn to Rainbow. "What's her deal?" Rainbow follows her as she runs away and breaks out of your embrace.
>"I don't know." she says. "She's never done this before..." you could see the concern for her friend in Rainbows eyes. She acts tough a lot, but she cares even more.
>"Should we go talk to her?" you ask.
>Rainbow looks off into the direction Fluttershy flew. "I don't know...she's probably locked up in her house, I doubt she'll answer the door like this."
>You take rainbow's hoof in your hand. "But, she's our friend. Should we still try?"
>Rainbow looks you in the eyes for a minute before she drops to the ground. "It's not fair that you can do that to me." she says with a small smile.
>You give her a kiss on the forehead. "Call it boyfriend privileges, let's go."

>Be late at night.
>You and Rainbow slog your way into the house and into the living room.
>Mous is reclining on the couch watching some movie while he eats. 
>"You two are late. Head back to that cave in Whitetale Woods for a little nostalgic lovin'?" he asks. You plop down next to him. "Not now dude, I'm not in the mood."
>He puts his plate down and rights himself. "What's up?"
>Rainbow throws her head into your lap, you absentmindedly start twirling her hair. "It's Fluttershy. She saw Rainbow and I kissing and then just freaked out and flew off."
>Mous crashes into the back of the couch. "Did she now..."
>"Yeah!" you continue. "And when we went to her house to try and figure out what went on, she wouldn't even open the door or windows. We were there for like, two hours trying to talk to her."
>Mous laughed a bit. "Let no one say you're not persistent, dude."
>Mous yawns and gets up."Shit. I'm tired. I'm the fuck out, night you two."
>"G'night." you call back.
>You sit on the couch for a while, just playing with Rainbows hair. It's a few minutes before you notice that she fell asleep.
>You scoop her up and carry her to bed. You'd have to make her feel better in the morning.
>You climb in next to her and hold her tight. A little too tight, because she stirs awake.
>She glances up at you and frowns. "Anon, you okay?" You sigh."I just can't figure out why Fluttershy ran away today and it's buggin' me.
>She gives you a kiss and snuggles into your chest. "Don't worry about in Anon..." she yawns. "...Everything'll work out."
>You kiss the top of her head and close your eyes. 
>Yeah. You had your bro, your girl, life was pretty good.
>Everything would work out...

=BiE 28=


>Morning.
>The sun was out.
>It seemed to be keeping its distance.
>It seemed Celestia was taking your prank well.
>Good.
>You throw yourself out of your bed.
>You’re still feeling the adrenaline high from that prank you pulled.
>It blew away all that moodiness you had going.
>Feels good.
>You head out to the kitchen and grab start breakfast.
>Pancakes all day err’y day.
>You sit down and start grubbin’.
>Anon walks out with Rainbow tailing behind him.
>”Gottagolateforworkbye!” he calls out.
>Oh yeah, today was Tornado Day.
>You finish your food and head back for your shower.
>You were back at the spa today. Aloe and Lotus were expecting a good rush of customers after the tornado situation was settled.
>You jump out of the shower. 
>Teeth brushing time, Colgate would kill you if you take didn't care of them.
>You step out of the bathroom with a towel around you.
>You spot a Stetson disappear into the bushes outside.
>Fuck. She’s gonna try something today.
>You sigh. Oh well, let her have her fun.
>Okay. Sit rep.
>Work clothes in bag.
>Street clothes on body.
>Hair washed.
>Teeth brushed.
>Breath…eh.
>You were ready.

>You open the door and step out.
>It was a nice day out.
>You look to your mailbox and spot a familiar grey Pegasus.
>”Derpy!”
>Derpy smiles at you.
>The little unicorn underneath her smiled at you too.
>”And Dinky!”
>You start toward the two.
>”Well, well, well, what have we here? I didn’t know it was ‘Take your Daughter to Work’ day."
>Derpy beams down at Dinky. “Little Muffin here has to write a paper on what her mommy does for school, so she’s coming along.”
>Derpy had told you what had happened with Dinky’s father.
>It pissed you off.
>It made you glad to see how proud of her daughter Derpy was, however.
>It reminded you of your parents, a bit.
>You crouch down to Dinky’s level.
>”So, you’re giving your mom a hand delivering letters, Dinks?”
>Dinky vigorously nodded her head. “Ya-huh! I’m an assistant!” she said with a big smile.
>”Nope!”
>You reach down and scoop Dinky up.
>You gingerly place her on the top of your head as you stand back up.
>”You’re a hat now!”
>You feel Dinky shift around her new perch a bit and see Derpy trying to suppress a giggle.
>The moving eventually stops. “I’m a hat now!” she shouts.
>You and Derpy share a laugh.
>The girl had enthusiasm.
>”Let’s go to work! Let’s go to work!”
>Dinky joins you in your chorus with Derpy joining in shortly after.

>The three of you start down the road to Ponyville.
>”So, Dinks, your mom tells me that you’ve been kicking flank in school.”
>You don’t see Dinky nod so much as feel it as she vibrates on your head. “Yup, I got a perfect score on our spelling test. My math still doesn’t add up, though…”
>Ha. That was pretty good for her age.
>”Ah, don’t sweat it Dinks, math gave me the run-around too.”
>You turn to Derpy.
>”Hey, your boyfriend works with delicate clocks all day, maybe he could give Dinky some math help? I’m sure it easy peasy for him.”
>Derpy puts a hoof to her chin. “I guess I could ask him, Mister Hooves has said that he wants to spend more time together.”
>Whooves.
>He was going by Whooves?
>”He’s got the same last name as you?”
>Derpy snaps herself out of her thoughts and turns to you.
>She’s blushing a bit. “Yep! Hehe…We thought it was weird too.”
>Weirder then you know, Derpy.
>”Huh…quite the coincidence.”
You turn your gaze as far to Dink as you can.
>”How bout it Dinks? You wanna see if Mister Hooves will help you out?”
>You feel Dinky nod her head as you continue to town.

>You wave goodbye to Derpy and Dinky once you get into town.
>You make your way through the town to the spa.
>You kept your eyes out for Lyra and Bon Bon.
>Even if you weren’t stressing about the situation, but it’d still be nice to see what happened.
>You were still contemplating the situation when you felt something wrap around your torso and pull you to the ground.
>”Gah! Fuck!”
>You were dragged straight back out of town along the path.
>Rocks were flying up and whizzing by your face.
>Dirt got caught in your face as you tried to get a look at who was dragging you.
>You got a half instant look and absorbed three details.
>She was a mare.
>With a blonde mane.
>And a Stetson hat.
>Dammit.
>”AAAAAAAAPPPPPLLLLLLEEEJAAAAAAAAAAACK!”
>She drags you along the dirt path outside town. “Now quiet down back there! We’re almost to tha’ farm!”
>”Applejack you rabid bitch, let me go!”
>You get no response as you continue to be dragged along.
>Gotta stop this.
>Can’t use your feet.
>You needed a fulcrum.
>You spot a tree along the side of the road out of the corner of your eye.
>Best bet.
>You start rolling to try and direct yourself to the tree.
>This would be tight…
>You shoot past the tree as your inertia takes over.
>The rope around your torso snaps taut finally lets you sit up.
>Or would, if you didn’t have to move fast.

>You jump up and start running forward.
>You clear the dust and dirt from your eyes and spot Applejack being pulled back to the tree by the rope.
>Okay, that was probably good.
>You turn back and start running back towards the tree.
>You see Applejack rubbing her head as she gets up next tree.
>Shit! Gotta go fast!
>You double time it to the tree and begin orbiting it.
>You hear a “Oof.” escape from Applejack as the rope begins to bind her to the tree.
>After a few revolutions around the base of the tree, you toss the rope around you off and pull it tight to keep her bound.
>You stand there for a bit, taking deep breaths to calm down from this little ordeal.
>”What the hell, AJ!?”
>You knew why she did this, but she had normally just been content to sit in your bushes and watch.
>Tying you up and dragging you across town is new.
>”What the fuck is this!?”
>She hangs her head low. “Darn it!  I was sure mah plan woulda worked.”
>”What plan!?”
>She looks up at you, disappointed that her plan ended with her tied to a tree. “I got tired of sittin’ in the bushes, thought I’d try for somethin’ else.”
>Brain. I require your input.
MAIN! KILL! BURN!
>Fuck you brain! I hate you!
>You feel yourself getting angry.
>You release the rope off of Applejack.
>”Just go.”
>You point down the road as Applejack trots off.
>”And don’t let me catch you pulling this shit again.”
>She stops part of the way down the road and gives you a wry smile and a wink.
>…Dammit.

>You trudge into the spa.
>Late.
>Aloe gives you a once over. ”Rough morning, Mous?”
>You sigh.
>”Something like that, what’d I miss?”
>”Not much, everyone’s out to see the tornado.” She said.
>”Good to know I can piss off and not be missed.”
>You tease.
>You head back to the back room and change into your work clothes.
>Thank Hastur that your bag didn’t get horribly damaged during your dragging.
>You toss your bag and wash up for the day.
>Aloe was right; you only got a single customer the entire day.
>You were about to piss off and go get an early lunch when someone walked in.
>Whoawha-
>”Anon?”
>He was covered in branches, soaked to the bone, and had a few scratches about him.
>He takes his shirt off and throws it on the chair.
>This won’t be weird…
>”…I take it today didn’t go so well?”
>He sighs. “No. No it didn’t. We didn’t make the wing power we needed to get the tornado going fast enough.”
>Well. Fuck?
>”What happened, With the tornado? Didn’t we need that water?”
>Anon groan as you worked on his shoulders. “NNNnnggg…We had to get Spitfire to chip in just to get it stable, everyone had to bust their flanks, but we got it there.”
>That didn’t sound good. Rainbow sounded like she wanted to impress Spitfire.
>”What happened to your wing power?”
>Anon sighed. “We lost some pegusi. Thunderlane ended up getting the Feather Flu…and we still haven’t heard from Fluttershy…”
>Damn. It had been a whole day.
>”Where’s Rainbow now?”
>You start to work on the small of his back. The tornado must have gone cataclysmic with all the tension here.
>”She took off after Spitfire. She was pretty embarrassed at what happened.” He said.
>That sounds like Rainbow.

>Work let out at the normal hour.
>Other then Anon, you had only had the Mayor’s assistant come in.
>Runaway tornados have a habit of scaring away the customers.
>You throw your bag over your shoulder and head for home.
>”Mous!”
>You turn your head and spot two ponies galloping towards you.
>A mint green one and a cream one.
>”Lyra? Bon Bon?”
>The two of them trot towards you. They’re smiling.
>”Uhh…hey! What are you two doing here?”
>”We were looking for you.“ Lyra said.
>Huh?
>”Uhh…why? I would figure you’d want to see me again after what happened….what did happen?”
>It was about time you figure this out.
>Lyra and Bon Bon look at each other. “We talked for a long time after you left. We decided that all the time we spent together wasn’t worth losing over a misunderstanding. And then, well…”  
>Lyra turns back to you. She’s smiling. “Mous…would you like to come to a wedding?”
>Whoa.
>”No way.”
>They look back at each other. Their smiles grow.
>No way!
>”Haha! I love weddings!” 
>You drop down and wrap your arms around them.
>”Congrats you two!”
>You sit yourself down in front of the two.
>This was fantastic.
>“I’d love to come, give me a date and a place.”
>The wedding was apparently at the end of the month.
>These crazy kids.
>You’d have to get a tux.
>You say goodbye to Lyra and Bon Bon.
>The walk home was nice.
>Nicer then it’s been in a long while.

=BiE 29=


>It's been a few days since the tornado debacle, you were finally getting all the water out of your ears.
>Rainbow had been pulling double shifts to fix all the damage the runaway tornado had done to the clouds, this was the first chance you've had the chance to see each other since.
>You were sitting on the couch after work waiting for Rainbow to show up. Trying to ignore the moans coming from the bathroom.
>"Hang in there man!" you call back.
>A knocking came from your chamber door and got you off the couch.
>You didn't have to guess who it was, your suspicions were confirmed when your vision was flooded with blue and you got a peck on the lips. "Hey, you." you say as you ruffle her mane.
>"Hey Anon." Rainbow says as she flutters into the living room and lands on the couch. "So, what's on the list for tonight's movies?"
>You had actually been giving this some thought. "Actually, we always stay in here and watch movies. You wanna head out somewhere tonight?". Her eyes shot wide and some red came through her cheeks. "L-like a date?" she asks.
>She was cute when she was embarrassed. "Well, it's not like we've really followed routine here. We've been together, what? Two weeks? And most of that time, I ended up naked. You've spent pretty much every night here, I think it's high time I actually take you out someplace.
>She looks back to you, her blush had gone. "What did you have in mind?" she asked."I don't know, dinner? And then maybe somewhere after? Let's play this buy ear." You reach out your hand.
>She grabs your hand and you pull her off the couch. "Hehe. Okay, Anon." she says.

>One thing before you go...
>You head back to the bathroom, the door was locked. "You alright in there, man?" you call out.
>"MY INSIDES ARE TRYING TO BECOME MY OUTSIDES!" was your answer.
>You and Rainbow both clamp your mouths shut as you try to stop from laughing. "Okay...we're gonna head out, did you need something?"
>"I need a gun and one bullet!" he shouts back.
>"This is what happens when you eat nothing but pasta for dinner, man!"
>You hear another groan, this one a bit more pathetic. "But I love pasta!"
>You and Rainbow both head to the door rather than risk a laughing fit in the apartment.
>The night was warmer than it had been in a while. Winter Wrap Up was coming soon, that much was certain.
>"So, know any good places to eat around here?" you ask. Rainbow turns to you with a small grin. "Isn't that your job?".
>"We're a pegasus and an extra-dimensional alien, we're non-traditional as shit as is."

>The two of you eventually decide on a restaurant called "Jardin d'Olive".
>You don't say anything.
>No need for a reservation though, which was sweet.
>Conversation flowed smoothly over dinner. You talked about The Wonderbolts, the work you were doing for Twilight, even the weather was an interesting topic when you had someone who controlled it eating with you.
>Too bad the conversation couldn't stay that way.
>"So..." you start. "What's the fallout from the tornado?"
>Rainbow puts rests her head on her hoof and gets a far off stare. "I can't say I'm surprised." she says. "We royally bucked up that thing, we almost cost all of Equestria its rain water."
>You put your fork down. "So, how bad?". Rainbow sighs. "Most people are willing to write it off as some horrible accident, but a few more are pretty mad about it. They say that we put the entire town at risk when we should have gone for a more foolproof plan."
>Like what? A big ass hose?
>"Hey. You tried your best, and everything worked out in the end. This'll all blow over." Rainbow is still looking off to the side. "I just keep thinking; If Thunderlane and Fluttershy had shown up, none of this would have happened."
>She had a point. "What was their deal, anyway?"
>Rainbow finally meets your eyes. "Thunderlane came down with Featherflu, like he said...no one has heard from Fluttershy."
>Damn. It had been almost a week. You were getting worried. "Think she's okay?"
>"I think so...Fluttershy has always been too happy to keep down for long."
>You hope so.
>You really hope so.

>The two of you finished dinner and decided on a late night walk in the park.
>"I still say it's weird that a town that's surrounded by forests and fields would have a park." Rainbow laughs a bit and elbows you in the side. "Hehe, shut up."
>After a once around the park, the two of you curl up under a tree and watch the moon make its way across the sky.
>"Tell me how this is different from what we do at your place?" Rainbow asks. You pull her a bit closer to you. "Here we don't have to listen to Mous shit all night."
>You lean your head back on the tree. "And don't tell me that it isn't nice out here." you say.
>"So, are we just gonna sit here all night?" Rainbow asks. "Isn't that what couples do in the park? Sit under trees together and look at the sky?" you say.
>Rainbow shifts herself around a bit. "I think that's what they do in the day...but it's nice and dark here, and just the two of us..."
>"You entirely sure about that?" you say as to point a thumb towards the full moon. If Princess Luna was the lady of the night, then that moon was her eye on the world. "Oh she has better things to do." Rainbow said as she pushed your arm down and locked you lips.
>Despite a bit of a trip with dinner conversation, this date had gone spectacularly.
>A nice dinner, a walk in the park, making out under a tree probably wasn't a classy thing to do, but 2/3 isn't bad. 

>An hour or so later, Rainbow is hanging onto your neck as you walk your way home.
>The park lets out just by your house, so you decide to cut through.
>Along the way you spot somepony by the stream.
>Somepony yellow and pink.
>You turn to Rainbow, she has the same look you have. "...think we should talk to her?" She silently nods her head and you step off the path.
>Fluttershy was sitting by the edge of the stream, she looked like someone just crushed her puppy.
>A trio of owls were sitting on a branch above her, they looked like they were trying to entertain her.
>Even nature itself couldn't stand to see Fluttershy cry.
>"Flutters?" you call out. Her head snaps up and turns to you. For a second you see a smile, only for it to fade away once she spots Rainbow.
>"Hey, we were looking for you. Everypony is worried." you say. Fluttershy lets out a deep sigh. "Oh..I'm alright."
>That was a lie. She was nowhere near fine.
>You take a few steps towards her only for her to scoot away. "Come on Shy, talk to us." you say. Rainbow chimes in. "Yeah, you can't just be alone forever."
>That was the wrong thing to say, it seems.
>Fluttershy just looks up at the both of you with the saddest expression you've ever seen. You were amazed it didn't start raining right then and there.
>She didn't say anything, she just got up and flew away.
>"Fluttershy, wait!" you call out.
>Crickets and Owls are your only answer.

>You and Rainbow arrive home around midnight.
>Rainbow had been quiet the entire walk home, despite your constant attempts at cheering her up.
>As soon as you were inside, she just flew to your room and shut the door.
>Dammit. The night was going so well, too.
>You looked on the couch, Mous was sitting there. He looked like he was brain dead for a minute before he turned his eyes to you.
>"How'd it go?" he asks. You rub the back of your head. "Man, everything was going perfect until we found Fluttershy in the park."
>"She still upset?" he asks. You nod your head.
>"You know why, right?" 
>Yeah, you knew why. You had been giving it thought all week, Fluttershy running off when she saw Rainbow only confirmed it."...Yeah."
>This conversation needed a life raft, quick. "So, how was your night?"
>Mous gets what can only be described as a thousand yard stare. "I can't move. But on the plus side, I no longer fear death."
>The life raft just got caught in the engines and sank the boat.
>"Uhg...and on that topic, good night."

>You step into your room, Rainbow is laying on the bed.
>She's curled up into a little ball, staring out the window.
>You crawl into bed and wrap your arms around her. "Wanna talk about it?"
>She shifts."It was my fault, she was talking to you but as soon as she saw my, she flew off."
>You nuzzle the back of her head. "It's not your fault that Fluttershy can't handle us." "No, but it's my fault there's an us in the first place."
>Ouch.
>"Are you having second thoughts?"
>Rainbow whirls around and gives you wide, scared eyes. "No! No...it's just...I wish this wasn't such a big deal."
>You pull her close. "Let's leave the existentialism to Mous, okay? You just worry about being awesome."
>"Hmmph. I don't feel awesome." she says into your chest.
>"Are you kidding? You're Rainbow Dash! Not only the best flier in all of Equestria, but the first special somep0ny of an alien."
>You kiss the top of her head. "And a pretty good one, at that."
>Finally, a laugh and a smile. "That was so lame, Anon."
>"Pssh. You liked it." you tease.
>She gives you a long kiss. "I like you more."
>"Not as much as I do." you fire back.
>You see that competitive spark light up in her eyes. "Oh yeah?"
>You get your smirk on."Don't try it Dash, I like everything. You can't beat me."
>She gives a small chuckle and curls back up into your chest.
>You lay there for a long time as Rainbow falls asleep.
>You'd have to get a message to Fluttershy sometime, and you wanted to help square all this blame the Weather Patrol was getting for the tornado away, but for now?
>Your eyelids started to droop.
>This was all you needed.

=BiE 30=

>"Just talk to Aloe at the front desk about payment."
>Roseluck hopped off the bed and left the room.
>You started the task of airing this damn room out.
>No easy task with coconut.
>You light some incense candles, they would do it.
>Walking into the lobby you were stopped by Lotus.
>"Mous, I was wondering, did you want to go grab some lunch?" she asks.
>It -was- almost lunch.
>"I'm down, it'll give my room time to air out."
>You step into the lobby proper in order to address both sisters.
>"Where did you two want to go? The diner?"
>Aloe glances off to the side. "Uhh...actually, I'm not hungry! But you guys should go eat, I'll watch the spa."
>You shrug and head for the door, Lotus right behind you. 
>The diner was farther away from the cafe, but usually had better food.
>"Nice weather." Lotus says as she keeps pace.
>She was right, the skies were clear and the sun was shining.
>"Yeah, the Weather Patrol must be spoiling us because of the tornado."
>It had been a week and a half since, you didn't hear anyone complaining over the sunny days.
>"You never see weather like this in Stalliongrad." she says.
>If it was anything like home, you're not surprised.
>The two of you continue towards the center of town and spot a group of ponies hustled around a small stage.
>On the stage was a rather loud unicorn.
>"Listen O' citizens of Ponyville! Listen to how your Princesses have failed you!" she shouted.
>You and Lotus walk past without another glance.
>"This stuff happen often?"
>Lotus rolls her eyes. "She sounds like the unicorn who came through last year and almost got the town demolished. I'm not giving her another moment of my time."

>The diner was more of a little bistro.
>At least it had outdoor seating.
>Lotus ordered a sandwich, while you opted for soup.
>You needed to cut down on the pasta...
>The biggest thing that this place had over the cafe was that they used actual flavoring.
>The cafe was great for a quick sandwich, but you were SOL if you wanted a good mushroom soup.
>"So...Mous." you heard across the table.
>You tilt your head to the side. Can't talk with soup in your mouth.
>"I uh...wanted to ask you something."
>You nod as you swallow your meal.
>"Shoot."
>She shifts in her seat a bit.
>"You and Anon have known each other for a long time..."
>/nod.
>"And you spend a lot of time together."
>You were bros, that's what you did.
>"Have you ever been...'together'?"
>You sigh and rest your chin in your hand.
>This was not the first time this has happened.
>"No. We have never been together."
>Lotus relaxed a bit. "So, you don't play for the same team?"
>You shake your head and give her a deadpan stare.
>"Not that there's anything wrong with it! It would just be something I didn't know about you"
>Heh. Nice save Lotus.
>You can't imagine somepony who accidentally slept with her sister to have too many social hang-ups.
>Lotus is quiet for the rest of the meal.
>You get up to walk back before you're stopped."Mous."
>Lotus is standing behind you, she's looks really nervous.
>"What's up?"
>She says nothing and keeps looking around.
>You crouch down to eye level. "You okay? What's up?"
>She looks you in the eye for a moment. "Buck it."
>You were about to say something, but find yourself unable.
>You can't get words out with Lotus's mouth pressed up against yours.

>What is this.
>What is happening.
>Why is it happening.
>Situational report.
>Brain: askdjbngsdf.
>No help there.
>Jimmies: AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!
>To be expected.
>Weak organic blood pump: Out to lunch.
>Dammit.
>You don't move for what seems like an eternity.
>Finally, Lotus removes herself.
>She's staring at you
>"Mous, uh...are you okay?"
>No.
>You needed to think.
>Gotta go.
>You don't notice as you stand up and start walking.
>You don't notice as you head over the bridge out of town.
>You don't notice that somepony is shouting behind you the entire time.

-Music: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Xm_-RV2vGU&feature=related-
>Why would she do that?
The most obvious answer was that she liked you.
>Why would she do that?
>Neither girls nor guys ever liked you.
>Ever.
>You were always "that weird guy who always hangs around that other guy."
>It was rare for anyone to even know your name unless you spoke to them.
>So what changed?
You became an alien. Everyp0ny knows who you are.
>Brain, why weren't you this helpful back there?
We all have our reasons.
>Great. Now your brain was screwing with you.
>You didn't need this right now.
>What do you do?
Do you want to kiss Lotus some more?
>...You don't not want to.
What does -that- mean?
>It means that you have no desire to never kiss Lotus again.
That makes no sense.
>It makes perfect sense.
Are you attracted to ponies?
>You know the answer to that.
Right. Big bad Mous isn't attracted to anyone, that why he neve-
>Yes. That's right.
There's more than one kind of attraction, dingus.
>Right...emotional.
>Were you emotionally attracted to Lotus?
>She was funny, she was smart.
>She kept up with your quips and gave as good as she got.
>She watched out for you. Your mind went back to when you had your manticore wounds.
>You guess Lotus is pretty cool.
>But that still didn't answer wh-gak!
>You rub your face.
>You ran into a tree.
Idiot.
>Fuck off brain.
>Wait...
>Why was it night?
Why are we in the Everfree Forest?
>And what's that sound?

>You follow the path closer to the mystery sound.
Prepare for Mauling: Round 2.
>Eat shit brain.
>This was pretty close to Zecora's, you think.
>True enough, you spot Zecora's hut after walking some more.
>Zecora was outside sitting and playin-
>That fucking didgeridoo.
>THAT FUCKING DIDGERIDOO.
Calm down, man.
>Stupid thing was haunting you.
>Maybe Zecora has some advice.
>"Zecora."
>Zecora stops blowing your arch-nemesis and turns to you. "Ah... Hello again, dear friend Mous."
>Her face falls as she looks at you closely. "May I ask why you are so morose?"
>You walk up and sit next to Zecora.
>"I have a problem, I need a hand. If you had advice, that would be grand."
Even now?
>All opportunities to rhyme will be used.
Nerd.
>Plebian 
>Zecora smiles. "Tell me your problem my good chum, allow me to stop you feeling so glum."
>You lean back a bit. 
>"I have a friend, we're kind of close. But I think she wants more from dear ol' Mous."
>Zecora nods.
>"I'm not opposed, that's not what I want to imply. I just can't wrap my head around why"
>Zecora tilts her head. "Why? I do not understand, I feel as if you need to expand."
>"I don't see myself as all that nice, I've been told I have veins that are filled with ice. Why she likes that, I can't say to be precise."
>Zecora gets a smile."Perhaps you are not as cold as you think, perhaps that is not your friends kink."
>You give a disbelieving look.
>"People are often hard on themselves and think they're have no value. They must sometimes take themselves under review."
>Hmm. Review yourself...
I give you a C+.
>Shut up, brain.

-Music: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y0s-F0qqXuY&feature=relmfu-
>You left Zecora's and started back towards town.
>Review yourself...right.
>Well, you thought you were a generally cold person. You had one friend you considered a brother, his girlfriend, two bosses, and an ageless sun goddess.
>Before you came here, you had less than that.
>You always thought you were horrible to people, not that you could figure out why you did it.
>You always thought that they were a minute away from slapping you, or just walking away. Anon had been the only person you could really count on to stay for ages.
>So why would Lotus like that?
>...What if she didn't?
>What if you were wrong?
>What was it they called you that one time? Noble.
Noble: possessing, characterized by, or arising from superiority of mind or character or of ideals or morals. 
>Uh. Thanks Brain.
I got your back.
>So, were you noble?
>What did Lotus say...
>You took them in during estrus, sure. But they might have done something stupid.
>You took a manticore for Anon, but he was your bro and would have died.
>Come on...one thing here.
Derpy.
>Huh?
>What about her?
>You talked to her, sure...
>Wait.
>Hearts and Hooves day.
>You got her to talk the that stallion who may or may not be an alien.
>Is that noble?
Did you do it for personal gain?
>No.
Sounds it to me.
>Okay, so you may be noble just because you helped Derpy that one time...
>Was that enough?
>You stop walking, don't want to hit any more trees.
>You're back in town.
>...was it enough?
>Let's go find out.

>You were Lotus and you were an idiot.
>Why did you kiss him? Why in broad daylight?
>Why did he walk off like that?
>You had been laying on your bed for a while trying to figure that out.
>"Are you okay, sis?" Aloe called from the doorway.
>You look up. "I'm fine, just thinking."
>"Don't worry, I'm sure Mous had a good reason to walk away." she says.
>"Yeah, like not wanting to date outside his species. Working with him is going to be great."
>Aloe sulked for a bit before walking away. Not that you could blame her, even you didn't want to be around you when you got like this.
>"Lotus!".
>By Celestia, you were going nuts. You could almost hear him.
>"Lotus!" again.
>Why were you hearing him? It's not like you ever dated enough for him to become important to you.
>You wanted to, but then you cocked it up.
>Why didn't you just wa-
>You were interrupted as something slammed into your window.
>"Lotus!" you looked outside.
>"Mous!?" he was hanging by the window sill.
>"Let me in! I'm slipping!" he called out.
>You rushed over and opened the window so that he could roll in and land on your floor.
>"Mous, what are you doing here?"
>"I figured we should talk." he says.
>You sigh. "Look, if this is about what happened today, I'm sor-"
>"No, not about that."
>You try to talk, but can't get words out with Mous' mouth pressed up against yours.
>"About that."

-Mous PoV-
>Heh. That shut her up.
I told you I'd handle it.
>Thank you Weak Organic Blood Pump.
>She looked at you in stunned silence.
>"Sorry about when this happened earlier, I needed to think."
>She meets your eyes.
>"...and...did you?" she asks.
>You reach up and run your hand through her hair, that was allowed at this juncture, right?
>She seemed not to mind.
>"Yeah...I uhh...I don't know why you want this... But, I think I do too, in a way."
>She lights up when you say that.
>"So...do you maybe wanna see where this goes...? Maybe we can go out for lunch again tomorrow? I promise I won't silently walk away again."
>She gets a big warm smile and laughs.
>It makes you happy. "I'd like that..." she says.
>Sweet.
>"Okay, well, uh...I guess I'll see you tomorrow?"
>You stand up to walk out.
>"Uhm...can I use the door?"
>She nods.
>You are stopped as you walk out of the bedroom by something grabbing your shirt.
>You turn around. Lotus motions for you to crouch down.
>You get a quick kiss. "I'll see you tomorrow?"
>"Yeah, of course." you say.
>You hope you were still smiling.
>Lotus walks you to the door.
>You wave goodbye as you make your way back to the house.
See what happens when you listen to me?
>Yeah, great, where were you when I needed you earlier today?
I told you, out to lunch.
>Very cute, Weak Organic Blood Pump.
Hey, if today is any indicator; we're going to be seeing each other a lot. Call me by my name.
>No. Heart is a shitty nickname.
>That asshole was beating too fast to get a new name, anyway.
>Brain, what do you think?
I think today was a good day.