=Flanking Maneuvers Episode 9=

>You skipped along the Canterlot streets, happy as could be.
>It was barely after ten, but you had already made your day.
>Today had been the culmination of weeks of planning and pranking Celestia.
>You had been hiding them all over the city.
>Along the walls.
>In the shops.
>Over roofs and under bridges.
>Even got a few on the top of the castle.
>Dildos.
>Hundreds upon hundreds of dildos, spread all over Canterlot where Celestia would see.
>She had, to your shock and surprise, actually gotten rid of most of her prosthetics when the two of you got married.
>Most.
>Six boxes of plastic dongs and a couple late night snooping sessions had lead to one of your greatest pranks ever.
>And it all got capped off this morning at breakfast when Celly found a plastic cock baked into her bread.
>The look on her face was priceless, you couldn't tell if she wanted to just eat around it or swallow the whole thing.
>She had stormed off after you started laughing and left her breakfast sitting there, apparently locking herself in the Magi tower.
>You glanced over at said tower, it was lit up like a Christmas tree like it always was.
>Except this time, the antenna on top was glowing like no tomorrow, gathering up magical energy.
>That...wasn't supposed to happen...
>A pink crack of lightning strikes the tip of the tower and sends a wave of magic over the city.
>You raise your arms over your face as the wave tosses you back.
>Voices around you cry out in shock asking "what happened?" over and over.
>Your entire body stings as you push yourself up off the ground... and...
>You look down and see them, your mind not believe it.
"WHY DO I HAVE TITS!?"
-Theme song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XmGkfWDtv78-

>You stormed through the palace.
"WHERE IS HE? WHERE IS HE!?"
>You were a feral tiger on the hunt, and you knew just the kind of blood you wanted.
>You reached out and grabbed a royal guard by the scruff of her armor.
"WHERE IS MY HUSBAND?"
>She timidly points a hoof down the hall, towards your room.
>You toss her away and go kick the door open, he's standing there with that shit eating grin of his.
"SOLARIIIIIIIIIIS!"
>He turns and flashes a smile to you.
>"Hello darling! How are yo-"
>You grab his face and shut him up.
"I'M GOING TO KILL AND EAT YOU."
>His smile twists into a smarmy grin.
>"In what order~?"
>You grab his horn and tilt his head down so you can look into his eyes.
"Fix. This."
>He chuckles. "I don't know if I can."
>What.
>WHAT.
"WHAAAAAAT?!"
>"Who is shouting in here!?" A navy alicorn behind you yelled.
"SHUT UP ORION!"
>You turn back to your husband.
"What do you mean you "don't know if you can"?"
>Solly smiles. "Just that dear, the spell seemed to...misfire. I can't say this gender swapping effect was what I had in mind."
>That might explain why even your thoughts were flipped.
>Wait.
"What WAS the effect you wanted?"
>Solly smiles.
>"Irritable bowel syndrome dear, honest."
>Brilliant...

>You, Solaris and Orion were all crammed into a carriage heading towards Ponyville.
>You sat with your arms crossed as the sky outside whizzed by.
>Solaris spent the entire time staring at your chest.
"Fuck off."
>"Whatever do you mean, dear?"
"I mean I said I wasn't taking my tits out when we were at the castle and I'm not taking them out here."
>He nuzzles against your cheek.
>"Oh but darling...this is a once in a lifetime opportunity! Aren't you the least bit...curious?" He says.
>No.
>No you were not.
"Solly...your brother is RIGHT THERE."
>Orion sat in his seat on the far side of carriage, red faced as can be.
>"This...is what I get for seeing Pippy, isn't it?"
"Shut up Orion."
>He leans back in and begins trying to nibble at your ear.
>"See? He has no right to complain with the things he does..."
>The world was not prepared for your spouse with testosterone flooding his brain.
>But there was one thing that it was less prepared for.
>You. PMS'ing.
>Your hand shoots up and snatches Solaris' tongue from his mouth.
"Solly, if you utter another word about us having sex in this carriage, I'm going to rip this out."
>"'Ut iss 'ould 'e a o'y 'ime 'e 'ath 'oo 'y i'!"
"I don't care if this is the only time we have to try this! I am not letting you fuck me after you turned me into a boiling tub of estrogen!"
>Solaris yanks his tongue back into his mouth and pouts in the seat next to you.
>"You're fine with sleeping with me when you're a man but the second I turn you into a woman it's "Keep that thing away from me!"."
"...Yeah, that's how normal couples work."
>The carriage is silent...
>"...Pippy and I don't work like that."
"SHUT UP ORION."

>You open the door to the Ponyville Library.
"Dusk! You better be able to fix this crap!" 
>Dusk Shine trots down the stairs from his second floor, Stiletto the dragon on his back.
>"You guys too, huh?"
>"I'm afraid so, my faithful student..." Solaris said.
>You could care less that Solaris didn't want to tell Dusk he did this, whatever, he'll get his later. 
>You just wanted your balls back.
>"That Mo'?" A voice from the basement asked.
>Awww...her too?
"Hey Ann."
>The two of you embrace in the library.
"How's Blitz taking it?"
>"Amazed at his new appendage, how bout you two?"
>You glance at your husband and narrow your eyes.
"We're dealing..."
>Solaris clears his throat.
>"Yes, well, why don't we get started trying to solve this dilemma?" He says.
>He turns to Dusk and Ann.
>"I believe the spell was a transmogrification wave sent across the Angel spectrum."
>"How could this get on the Angel spectrum!? The power requirements would be enormous!"
>"But if it -IS- on the Angel Spectrum..."
>"...Then the Princes' using their magic on a Riselem Ankh hooked up to a transmitter should reverse the effects!"
>They were talking a different language when they were like this.
>You couldn't even tell who said what.
>Dusk walked over to a shelf. "I have a Riselem Ankh in here somewhere, we can just hook it up to a dish and be set to go!"
>He levitates the box out and dumps the contents on the floor.
>You imagine he immediately regrets it based on what falls out and the shade of crimson his cheeks take.
"Now I KNOW the maids at the castle don't have fishnets as part of their outfits..."
>"They will starting next week~..."

>An hour or two later you were back at the palace.
>And your balls were back in their rightful spot.
>Celly had been disappointed when her own pair winked away, but at least it stopped her from giving you that lusty stare.
>The three of you had said your goodbyes and made way back to Canterlot.
>As part one of your revenge, you had let slip that it was Celly who flipped everyone, Luna was in the process of nagging your ears off about it.
>"-and I have NEVER seen such a blatant disregard for ones duties in all my years! Honestly Sister, swapping the genders of the ENTIRE NATION? OVER PETTY REVENGE?!"
>A glance at Celly's face told you that she was just as tired of this as you were.
>The two of you walked into your room as Luna ranted in the hallway.
>"Why, if this were the days of Olde Equestria, we would take you out an-"
>She gets cut off as you slam the door.

>"THANK you..." Celestia said as she walked to her beauty desk.
>"Another minute of that and I'd have to send her to the moon again..."
"You deserve it."
>"Oh come now dear, I told you that it was unintended! I only wanted to give you the runs!"
"Oh well in THAT case..."
>Celly pouts at the desk. "Wasn't even willing to experiment with the time we had..."
"Oh fuck off, you're lucky I don't divorce you."
>"Ha! As if anyp0ny else would put up with you!"
>The room is silent for a moment.
"You know..."
>Celly turns to you.
"I'm not opposed to it..."experimentation"...
>Her gaze turns sultry as she gets to her feet and trots to the other side of the bed from you.
>"Oh~? What kind?..."
"Hehe...let me show you..."
>You reach under the bed and grab It.
>You plop it down on the bed and grab the rip cord as Celly's eyes grow wide and she realizes what it is you're holding.
>"Mous! Don't you-"
>You pull the chord.
"DILDO BOMB!"