> Chrysalis regularly tries to change into Sombra to get him in trouble > Daily "who's the real sombra?", just get a ton of ringpops, Sombra loves ringpops. > Chrysalis can't get away with nothing > NMM loves to turn off the lights > Resort to clap on lights, hooves can't get the right sound. > When NMM gets sad, you toss a blanket over the both of you, and cuddle in the eternal night > For Sombra's birthday, you get him a prism and a magnifying glass > He only sets fire to his sisters' hair the one time, he is much more responsible now. > Chrysalis watches TV and turns into her favorite character of each show. > She spends hours in front of the mirror, looking at her lusterous mane, trying on different forms. > While you are at work, she tries to boss her siblings around by turning into you > They catch on pretty quick, Chrysalis can't get your voice right. > Sombra has a huge stuffed animal collection, he arranges them in rows and pretends to be their king. > Chrysalis starts collecting an army of dust bunnies to combat this threat > NMM makes arms deals, a squirt gun here, a grabby claw there, the war only escalates. > Each night, they declare a truce and race to see who will get to you first to get their teeth brushed. > NMM she can do it herself, but she still likes it when she wins the race. > After you change into your pajamas, you all pile into bed. > It's a lumpy snuggle pile, but everyone gets comfortable and drifts off to sleep. > NMM says "Good Night, Father." > Chrysalis says "Don't worry, I told the bedbugs to stay away." > Sombra is already asleep, and mumbles "crystaaalllllls" > Breakfast: Pancakes > NMM always cuts the pancakes into lunar crescents > Sombra tries to make little castles, but he only really suceeds when you serve waffles > Chrysalis rolls them up and stuffs them in her cheeselegs for later > At the playground, the first thing they do is try to find the highest spot to perch > After squeaking about who is the ruler of the playground, they scatter. > Chrysalis looks at her reflection in the metal slides > Luna usually goes to the swing set, going as high as she can before jumping off and gliding to the ground. > She's very smug about her wings. > Sombra annexes the sandbox, often ordering the other kids to help build the Sand Empire > NMM always wins at hide and go seek. > Chryslalis loves duck duck goose > She changes into a goose every time (it's a pretty big goose, so she does alright) > Sombra loves to play with the weird things, bells, speaking tubes, and so on > Tic Tac Toe tournaments are fairly common, and highly competitive > Afterwards, if they were good, they get a treat > NMM gets cotton candy > Chrysalis gets sweethearts (it gets pretty stale, but she doesn't mind) > Sombra gets rock candy > When you get home, you get out the sleeping mats > They each get bundled up in a blanket as you read them a story > While they nap, you clean up the dishes and counters > When they wake up, they try to help you make dinner > Sombra has the coveted use of the knife > NMM is really good at mixing things > Chrysalis likes mashing fruit > After dinner, you all pile on the couch to watch a movie > Chrysalis likes to act along with the movies she knows > Sombra insists on absolute silence > NMM claims the remote control as soon as possible > She is careful to pause the movie whenever you have to answer the phone > Even when the call goes on for a while, she stands her ground before her siblings' unrestfulness > After the movie, it's time to brush everyone's hair > Sombra tries to get out of it, but between your size and his sisters, you catch him pretty easily > Chrysalis likes to lay her head on your lap as you brush her mane, making an odd purring sound > NMM insists on having her mane styled in a different way every night > You are now an adept bobby pin user > Some days, it feels like more than you can handle > But as you fall asleep with three little terrors nuzzled up against you, that makes it all worthwhile. > They get a little older > NMM develops a huge crush on Batman "You do not understand, father. I am going to marry Batman." > Chrysalis digs a "bugs only" hive > If left unattended, Sombra can and will make couch forts in seconds. > They each have their own room > NMM spends all her money from yard work on an insane amount of glow in the dark plastic stars > She insists she is too old for bedtime stories, but when you read to Chrysalis, she listens from behind the door. > Chrysalis has replaced her dust bunny army with Barbie dolls > You end up installing some hooks in the ceiling, and tying a simple web of rope up there > When she's done playing with the Barbies, she puts them back in their boxes and hangs the boxes from the rope > Sombra's room is a trap. > Lego's everywhere. > While the things he makes are pretty cool, he still leaves a heavy spread of Lego piece caltrops on the floor. > The kids have learned that your feet are much more sensitive to that sort of thing than their hooves > Sombra's bed is always base when they play tag, the cheaters > After much consideration, you get them a turtle. > Chrysalis is in charge of finding slugs to feed A'Tuin. > Once, when she came back from slug-gathering, she chased her siblings around the house with her muddy and slug filled hooves. > After some serious scolding, careful removal, and the gentle attentions of the garden hose, she was allowed to come back inside. > Sombra likes to make little Lego cities and put them on A'Tuin's shell > NMM takes the responsibility of turning the heat lamp on and off very seriously. > Every once in a while, each kid gets a day alone with you > Chrysalis goes to watch a romcom in the theater "Everybody tastes so good daddy!" > NMM goes to the observatory "Whoever is in charge of the stars is terrible." > Sombra goes to the science center "Can we have a volcano in our backyard?" > Keep thinkin', kid. > The trampoline is bad enough > Whoever gets on first starts a king of the hill type thing > Goodness knows how many scrapes you've bandaged, bumps you've kissed better > It's a pretty big trampoline too, it's not like they all wouldn't fit > You know this because sometimes, when they think you aren't there, they will all jump on it > Sometimes they drive you crazy like that > They have other ways too > One day you get home, and there is a pool of red in the kitchen > One heart attack and Olympic sprint later you find Sombra squeezing ketchup around a barbie > He freezes, looking at you with a deer in the headlights expression > You break open your economy pack of aspirin and down two little helpers > Sombra casually puts the bottle on the floor > It takes him a while to clean up the mess, and you take the barbie and put it in the throne room of his favorite castle set > He is not happy to hear the king has been deposed, but he takes it like a man. > Later he convinces Chrysalis to play, it gets pretty Game of Thrones > Doctor Sparkle Barbie retains the throne through cunning and intimidation > They have their quirks too > NMM likes to perch on top of the fridge > As you go about your business, she commands you to do what you are about to do > She gets fussy when you do something else, but also very smug when you do what she says > Chrysalis says she is going to marry you when she grows up > She names all her ken dolls "Anon Jr." > She gets very territorial when women come around > Which isn't often, but still > Sombra collects glass > You are very strict; he has to keep the collection in the garage, and clean up after himself > One day you find him making a stained glass portrait of your odd little family "This is how you are supposed to remember important things." > It takes a lot of work, but you install it in the place of the living room window > You're pretty proud of the little guy. > Chrysalis is getting better at voices > She practices with the radio > You play a game where you name a song and she sings at least the chorus > Bohemian rhapsody gives you chills, like you really are in the presence of Freddie Mercury > NMM has taken to sitting on the roof at night > You talk with her as you two gaze up at the stars > When she falls asleep, you carefully carry her to bed and tuck her in > You regret showing them the X-men > They whined, begged, threatened, commanded, and partially funded for you to get a wheel chair > You and your not-bald head > Sombra is Magneto > He learns chess precisely for this purpose > He knows he's supposed to say something ominous and meaningful, but what comes out is "You are probably going to burn dinner" > Or "You should get us popsicles. For the good of mutantkind." > Chrysalis is Mystique > She doesn't quite get what the deal is > She just flops around on the couch and looks at you with half-lidded eyes > NMM is Storm > "Magneto" and "Mystique" regularly plead for you to make her stop with the lightning already > You touch your temple and tell her to play nice > She rolls her eyes, and contents herself with floating around on her own little cloud > They've started to collect "Daddy's bad words" > It started at the county fair > They had fun, getting their faces painted > Cheating at ring toss with levitation > The carrousel creeped them out > Then a clown came up out of nowhere "Fuck!" > Bless their little hearts, they came to your defense > NMM zapped the clown pretty good > Sombra chased him to the mirror maze > You aren't sure what Chrysalis did, but you could hear sobbing as you walked away > You gave them all a big hug, and told them how brave they were, working together to defeat the evil clown > Then Chrysalis looks up at you with her big green eyes and asks "What does fuck mean?" > 'It's a secret word only adults get to use' > Sombra gives you a look "But Hissy just said it." > 'She used it wrong' > NMM's eyes light up "Fuck! That's the right way to say it, right father?" > You do not need this right now. > 'Guys, I need you to promise me to wait until you are an adult before you say that word.' > NMM pouts. "But I said it right and everything." > You give them all a serious look. > Sombra nods in understanding. "It is too powerful for us right now, we might lose control and hurt somebody. Very well, dad, I promise." > You hug your favorite son in the whole wide world > 'I'm proud of you, Sombrerbro' > The girls get jealous immediately "I promise too!" "No, I promise more!" > You let go of Sombra and scoop up the fillies and sling them onto your shoulders > 'I'm proud of you girls too. Now who wants some ice cream?" > You thought that was that > But no > You open your eyes. > it's 2:00 AM > You feel a presence hovering over you >'"Is that you, nom nom nom?' > She drops from her cloud onto your chest "Why weren't you scared?" > You hug her tight > 'I love you too much to be scared by you.' > She nuzzles your chest, and quietly replies "I love you too, daddy." > Your heart melts > But your eyes ache > 'Awww, thanks. Now daddy needs to sleep, or he will be cranky tomorrow. Alright?' > She gets to her hooves and hesitates. "Can I stay with you?" > You sigh, but not without fondness > 'Alright. Goodnight sweetie.' "Goodnight daddy." > Day Hearts and Hooves > Be Anon, trying hard not to be lonely > Kids get back from school > Manage a smile as you welcome them home > As you help them out of their backpacks, Chrysalis keeps glancing at you > Finally she says, "Do you have a special someone, Daddy?" > Keep that smile up, anon. For the kids. > 'Not yet. You aren't thinking of setting me up with your teacher again, are you?' > She shakes her head, and removes an envelope from her backpack. > It barely reaches your hands before she runs off to her hive in the backyard > What. > Sombra and NMM exchange glances and head off to their rooms, bags of candy levitating from their backpacks > You sit down on the couch, and open up the letter > A ton of glitter pours out, getting all over the cushions an your pants > You swear, you would kill these kids if you didn't love them so much > The piece of paper has a rough drawing of you and Chrysalis in a big ol' red heart and the words, "I want you to feel like those people in the movies - Your top secret admirer" > You sigh, and chuckle weakly > Such secret > You walk out to the hole in the backyard > Cheeselegs peeks out at you, and pouts. > As you sit down nearby, she asks, "Why didn't it work? You're supposed to stop being sad." > She sinks down a little. "Am I not good enough?" > Oh, kid. > As you lift her out of the hole, she squeaks in surprise > You pull her into a hug. > 'You are plenty good, it's just a gown-up thing, that's all.' "I can be a grown-up!" > And suddenly you are holding a woman. > You put her at an arm's distance, and you recognize the form as the female lead from the last romcom you two saw. > Not a bad choice > Wait, can't think that way > 'Honeybug, I need you to be you. I get lonely sometimes, and that's okay. But I would be much sadder if you tried to be something you are not.' > She slowly shifts back to her real form. "But being lonely hurts. I can feel it." > You pull her in for a tight hug, and sigh. > 'Can you feel how having you as a daughter makes it hurt less?' > She rests her head on your shoulder "A little bit." > You pet her mane > 'That's enough for me.' > Then there was the time you got sick. > For days. > NMM declared quarantine > If you got up to do something, she would dutifully proceed you, calling out "Contagion!" > Levitating anything that had come into contact with you > Early on, you wisely designated Sombra as the official food preparer > Not that the other two don't try, but after a glass of very pulpy orange juice and thirty mangled oranges, you put your foot down > Chrysalis has taken it upon herself to be your personal nurse > So you always have a thermometer in your mouth > She honestly thinks having a thermometer in your mouth will make you get better > Part of that is occasionally taking it out, looking at it, shaking her head, and then returning it. > She also throws a tantrum if your meal isn't chicken noodle soup > Sombra answers the door most times > It's usually one of the many mothers you've accidentally befriended at the park > Casseroles for days > The kids don't mind getting fussed over too much > God help any of those ara aras if they try to dote on you, though > Chrysalis goes full jealous, insisting she does all the nursing around here, thank you very much > Nice thing about being sick, you can play vidya without guilt > Mariocart tournaments gets pretty intense, finally you claim Peach to keep the girls from fighting over her > Zelda games are almost like storytime > The kids regularly take naps during the endless terrain crossings > Honestly, you aren't immune either > When you finally do get well, it's with a heavy heart > You rather like spending more time goofing around with the kids > Oh, and you have to return all those casserole dishes > Your ears ache for a "Are we there yet?" Or "I'm booored" > But there is no way your kids would be so normal > Chrysalis is floating her sticky jelly beans mere inches away from Sombra's mane, jealous of his front seat > Meanwhile, he is playing a nonstandard game of chess with NMM > Some of the pieces are from that old HeroQuest game, others from monopoly > The thimble is over the head of the bishop, so Sombra now controls it > You think > The next rest stop, you are going to put your foot down, Sombra really doesn't need to be riding shotgun > It's just another one of their weird little dominance contests > Which is to say, Sombra won the barbie games > Ice skating was super effective against veterinarian, and black death Kelly just swept the rest > Point is, the car is pretty quiet, except for Chrysalis's ominous giggling > 'Honeybug, if you put those in his hair, I will cut them out and you will have to eat them. Got it?' > She pouts, and pops a jelly bean into her mouth "Whatsh sho great about the ocean anyway?" > 'It's just something you have to see at least once in your life.' > Cheeselegs isn't convinced, but she amuses herself with making pictures on the windows out of the bugs that splatter on your windshield. > Sometimes, you wish you had magic, but then again, that's what child labor is for > You make it to the beach with minimal fuss, only a few toys thrown out the window and lost to the endless highways > You could only listen to Sombra's tickle-me-Elmo for so long > He mourns the loss of his interrogation specialist > Once they're out of the car, the kids are pretty happy > Though they do squirm a bit when you put the sunscreen on them > and then they're off > Sombra begins immediately, conscripting from the other kids on the beach > Chrysalis pokes at the dead crabs in the sand > NMM gazes at the large waves coming in with trepidation > You walk to her > 'Want to swim?' > She glances at you, then tentatively steps into the shallow water > A wave almost immediately surges past, and she scrambles back with a surprised squeak > You laugh and back into the water, holding out your arms > 'C'mon, I'll keep you safe.' > She hesitantly steps toward you, then dashes into your arms > You pick her up, and hold her tight as you go deeper into the salty water > Once she gets used to the bobbing surge of the waves, she relaxes her death grip on your torso > You pull her along by her hooves, and NMM grins as she cuts through the water > Before long, she's swimming on her own, and riding the waves to the beach > You decide to check on Sombra, only to find him resting in imperial splendor on a throne of sand and buckets "Welcome, dad, to the kingdom of Silica. I have much to show you." > Everywhere a kid is piling sand up, or digging ditches, fortifying against the inevitable high tide > Behind heaped up walls, a more delicate work is continuing > Sombra walks among his architects and artisans, leaving a compliment here, a suggestion there, and nearly bursting with pride > You have to admit, it is an impressive city, but you've left Chrysalis alone long enough > You find her in the middle of a bunch of divots in the sand, carefully drawing on a smoothed out spot > She sees you and beams "Daddy, come look at what I've found!" > You get to about the middle of her odd little field, and then her horn glows green > The putrid remains of too many crabs rise up out of the sand and start massing around your legs, struggling to climb > 'Son of a Bitch!' > The zombie crabs fall away, and your daughter claps her bughooves "I got another one! Dumbra is going to be so jealous!" > 'Just, just clean up the crabs alright?' > You scrub your legs in the ocean, then head for your towel > Chrysalis follows you, the crabs shuffling off into their holes > You gaze out over the water, waves dazzling in the afternoon sun > She settles down by you > 'What do you think so far?' > She looks down at her hooves "It's not so bad." > You smile, absentmindedly keeping an eye on your other kids > 'How about you go get Nighty and Somby and we'll have a nice treat?' " 'Kay!" > And off she goes > Several Popsicles apiece and a couple hours later, it's time to go > Sombra had his dramatic moment, grimly witnessing the collapse of his kingdom under the relentless waves, and crying out to the uncaring sky > NMM rode the cresting wave herself, tackling him off of his throne > Not to mention the nearly endless hours of rinsing to get the sand off and the salt out > Chrysalis blushing the entire time, as you poked the sand out of her Cheeselegs > As you drive away, the setting sun illuminates the tuckered out forms of your kids, napping on top of each other in the backseats > Definitely something you have to see at least once in your life.