> Be Eye Sis, betrayed Pharaoh of ancient times > The day has finally arrived for your final battle against the reincarnation of your traitorous high priestess > Set of Five sneers at your host, slapping her deck into the duel disk > "Go first, Anonymous, it will be your last!" > Anon slips his deck into the duel disk, and you take possession of his body > You stand a little taller, and your shared chest tuft increases dramatically in volume "You have set yourself up for defeat, Set of Five!" > You draw your hand and- > Hold on, this isn't the Dark Magician deck > Super-heavy Samurai? > Tuner? > Curse Anon and his whimsy > You can feel his amusement in the back of your mind > [Need some help, Eye Sis?] > You frown [No, I'm sure I can figure out what to do...] > Let's see, special summon blah blah, equip... > Why would you even want something that only gives 1200 defense? > Set of Five glares at you > "Admit it! Nothing you have can defeat my deck!" > You scowl [Alright, tell me what to do.] >[How about I take over and-] > You mentally sigh [Monster duels are too dangerous for stallions. Besides, I can't mind crush her if you're in control.] > [Hmm. Good point. Alright, so all you do this turn is set Superheavy Samurai Soulpiercer face down.] > ... [It has zero defense, it will die if anything battles it.] > [That's the point. Just do it.] [Fine.] "I set my monster face down and pass the turn." > Set of Five cackles > "That's all? Prepare yourself for unstoppable power!" > She draws a card > "I summon Lady of D!" > [She wants the D so bad!] [Shut up] > "And use the Flute of Summoning Dragon to special summon my Blue Eyes White Dragon!" > [If you played my flute, it would sure special summon a white dragon of something] [Shut Up] > "Blue Eyes! Destroy his monster!" > You scowl, placing your monster in the graveyard [Now what?] > [It's ability activates. Search your deck for Superheavy Samurai Big Waraji.] "Not so fast! My monster's ability activates and I take..." > [Superheavy Samurai Big Waraji.] "Superheavy Samurai Big Waraji from my deck and add it to my hand!" > Set of Five sneers > "A mere 1800 defense is nothing before my Blue Eyes! Lady of D, attack his life points directly!" > You stagger back, shaken by the loss but not discouraged > [Hey, can we do the heart of the cards thing now?] > You frown [That requires a depth of trust in your cards that-] > [Come on, I totally trust my extra-thicc fighty lads enough for magic cheating!] [It's not cheating! It's friendship!] > Set of Five smirks > "Your turn, Anonymous. Take your time, there isn't much left for you." > You growl > Her arrogance is no less grating than it was a millennia ago > Let's just get this over with "I know my monsters have my back! Come to me, extra thick samurai!" > [Superheavy Samurai] [SHUT UP! THAT WAS YOUR FAULT!] > You draw a card, ignoring Anon's snickering in the background > It's... another 1200 defense thingy > Did the heart of the cards fail you? Or maybe you didn't trust in the supethick samurai enough? > [Nah, we got this. Special summon Waluigi and the trumpeter. We're about to lay down some sick doots.] > This is all too confusing. > Back in your day, you had normal monsters, a few spells, and a few traps > A field spell, if you were lucky > Now... "I special summon Superthick Samurai Waluigi and Trumpter!" > You place the two monsters on the field [Now what?] > [Synchro summon Superheavy Samurai Stealth Ninja from our extra deck in defense mode.] >... [Extra deck?] > [Yeah, that little pile of cards on the end there.] > ... > Now, a colt has to hold you by the hoof to handle some superthick lads "I synchro summon Superthick Samurai Stealth Ninja in defense mode!" > [Activate both Superheavy Samurai Soulshield Walls and equip them to the ninja.] "I activate two Soulshield Walls! My Ninja's defense is now 5200!" [Hey, we're pretty safe now. Nice job, Anon.] > He chuckles > [The Ninja can attack while in defense mode, using his defense instead of his attack. Did you even read the card?] > ... [I skimmed it.] > [Uh-huh. Just attack the Lady of D and win already.] > This feels like cheating "Superthick Ninja! -" > You are disoriented as Anon forcibly takes control "-attack the Lady of D with your secret butt fun attack!" > Thankfully, he cedes control back to you once he's had his say > Set of Five falls to her knees > "This is impossible! Nothing can be stronger than the Blue Eyes White Dragon!" > You scoff "You lost because you only trusted in your dragon. If you cared about your Lady of D as much as I care about my superthick lads, it would not have been over so quickly." > [That's bullshit, her deck just can't win as quickly as mine.] [And the heart of the cards has nothing to do with that?] > [...Okay, that might help. A little. Still magic cheating.] [It's not- ugh. Not the time.] "Mind crush!" > You walk away from the crumpled mare > You're too old for this