>you are Anonymous
>but everyone calls you Anon
>except your superiors, of course
>you are a unicorn private in Celestia's Royal Guard, and today is a special day
>today is the first day you will actually be having a shift guarding Princess Celestia herself!
>you'll be standing in with her from noon to three
>some say it's mindnumbing work, but you don't mind
>you've always sort of had a... thing for the Princess
>you're currently in your cot
>your captain pacing up and down, yelling at your fellow privates to get out of bed
>he's almost to you
>what do?
>your Captain finishing yelling and spraying spittle all over your bunkmate, and turns to you
>"Well, I see your eyes are already open! Tell me, Private, did you ever consider getting out of bed, or were you just gonna give me pretty little looks with those eyes of yours? GET MOVING!"
>you clear your throat
"Well, it'd be much easier if you weren't yelling at my privates, sir. It scares them."
>you move the thin blanket off your body, and get to your hooves
>your captain grinds his teeth
>"I won't be having any insubordination, Private! Get down to the showers, scrub down, head to the armor, suit up, and report to the Mess Hall, or else you'll be scrubbing every Goddess-Damned latrine in this entire palace!"
>fuck, what a cliche
>you salute quickly, then scamper down towards the end of the barracks
>don't want to disappoint the Princess, after all
>the showers are just downstairs, and if you hurry
>you might even get one of the ones without any mold
>the showers only get cleaned once a month by privates or cadets who fuck up
>so a few of them have the tendency to get fucking gross
>you enter the showers, and see that one is still open! There's two other guards heading for it, though. You better act fast!
>you decide not to run
>floor is all slippery and soapy
>fuck falling on your ass, the last thing you need is your magnificent flanks bruised
>the other two stallions are more zealous
>the first one, a dark grey earth pony, starts to slide across the tiles, eyes wide
>hah!
>your decision payed off!
>the other one though, a white unicorn like yourself, is managing to hold his hoofing
>he's gonna beat you unless you do something fast!
>your horn sparks, and soapy water flies up from the floor into the guard's eyes
>he grunts, and his face screws up as he looses his hoofing
>you chuckle as you slide into the shower
>ew gross, mold
>oh well, at least you got there first
>unfortunately, the guard's momentum didn't just stop
>you beat him into the shower, but he slips and slides in anyway
>he bumps right into your well toned flanks, flopping onto your back
>oh my
>you butt bump him out of the shower
>this is your time, not his
>he slides back out, cursing your name and swearing about his ocular pain
>you turn on the knob, stepping nimbly over the patches of mold
>fucking gross
>you sigh as you feel the nice warm water washing off yesterday's grime
>your horn sparks to instinctively grab the soap
>except
>ohshit
>there is not a bar to be found
>if you leave the shower, the other guy will grab it
>if you try and sneak under into another shower to get their soap, pain will surely follow
>what do?
>you stick your head out of the showers, and yell
"Ey yo, help a brother out and give me some soap!"
>you hear snickering from all around
>"Hah, I'll help you out all right! Just bend down, I think there's some soap near your hooves!"
>more laughter
>well shit, that didn't go well
>you swallow hard, and focus hard, clenching your cheeks and shoving your tail between your legs
>you place a thin barrier around yourself, moving the stallion just half an inch off you
"C-Can I help you?"
>"Oh, you bet your sweet flanks you can..."
>you're shivering, despite the warm water running down you
>there's nowhere to run now
>you're either gonna give in, or you're gonna fight for the honor of your anal cherry
>you aren't gonna just let this guy slide all up in you
>you're gonna save your butt-bustin' for someone special!
>you slide out from underneath him, and turn around to face your attacker, you butt up against the wall where no one can spelunk it
>you grit your teeth as you see the large grey earth pony from before, the one that slipped and fell on his ass
>"You're making this way more difficult then it has to be. Aw, but that's alright; I like to feel like I've EARNED my reward, you know?"
>you narrow your eyes, horn sparking
>you can't hold this barrier forever
>it's really draining
>you've got to make your move now or never
>you drop your barrier
>fuck, that feels better
>there's not really enough room to charge, and the floor is far too slippery
>but you can make a jab at him
>and you're gonna punch him right in the globber
>you swing forward, landing a glow right on his muzzle
>he grunts out in pain and slides backwards.
>"Oh, this is going to a fucking fun morning, I can already tell."
>you grab him around the neck, not wanting to waste any time responding to him
>you throw him to the right, using magic to push him to the side
>he slides over, smashing into the side stall
>the whole thing shakes, and you hear an annoyed shout from the other stall
>"Hey! Some people are trying to have a nice shower in here! Take you butt fun somewhere else!"
>the stallion growls, and jumps forward at you
>you do a weird mix of ducking and stepping out of the way
>your hoof slides into the mold
>ugh
>but your attacker got a muzzle-full of it when he landed face first after missing you
>you lean over him
"Sorry, I don't really have time to fuck around. I'm going to guard the Princess today."
>you wash off the mold on your hoof, and exit the shower, leaving him to lay there in filthy water, mold, and pain
>you grab a towel and dry off, your coat getting a bit frizzy
>the other stallions are either giving you a wide birth or shocked stares
>you couldn't care less, though
>you're going to finally meet Celestia
>you've got to get your armor and head to the mess hall first, though
>you don't have time to waste anymore
>you walk straight up to the armory
>it's just straight up above the barracks, so you can just go right up the stairs to get there
>there's another guard, a white pegasus, standing right before the landing to get to the armory
>Thunderthumper or Thunderblocker, you think his name was
>Thunder-something
>"What was all that shouting, Anon? Did something happen down in the showers?"
>you give him a shrug, half smirking
"Some fag just needed to be shown his place."
>Thunderthighs raises an eyebrow
>"Was it Shield Breaker trying to mount somepony down there? I swear, no matter how many times we complain about that rapey fuck, the higher ups don't even give two shits."
>Shield Breaker... yeah, you guess that was his name
>you nod
Thunderlover sighs and rollshis eyes
>"Fuck... I'd suggest going straight to Celestia with the issue, but I don't have time to request an audience, and I don't know anypony on the rotation for her guard. I guess he's just gonna keep going until somepony fights back enough to deal with him /permanently/, if you catch my drift."
"Wait... you want me to KILL him?"
>you are a master of tact and subtly
>Thunderbonger's eyes narrow.
>"I never said that... but I wouldn't rat you out if you 'defended yourself' with a bit too much zest, you know what I mean?"
>you nod slowly
"Well, I am in the rotation to see guard the Princess today, so I'll bring it up with her when I'm there."
>Thunderblaster smiles. "That's great! We can finally take showers again without having to worry about total anal devastation! Thanks, Anon!"
>Thunderspooger takes slight and soars down the staircase
>the armory is just ahead, and there is one guard standing at the doors, a grey unicorn.
>you salute the guard at the door
"Reporting for my armor, sir!"
>the guard rolls his eyes
>"We're at the same rank, Anon."
>he opens the door. "Same place your armor always is.
>it's in alphabetical order, and armor is a big deal for the royal guards. You like to keep yours extra polished—it's a point of pride for a lot of ponies here.
>yours sits there, shining, right in between "Aegis Defender" and "Astral Gaze"
>you slide on your armor, and leave the armory, saluting the guard again as you head down
>you've got two ways to head to the mess hall: through the barracks, or down they hallway left of the armory, and down a flight of stairs
>it's longer down the left hallway, but you do run the chance of seeing your captain again if you go through the barracks
>hm
>decisions, decisions...
>you head for the barracks, rushing down the spiral staircase
>you head in through the doorway into the barracks, passing by your bed
>no sign of the captain
>maybe you got lucky
>you're just above to make it to the hallway to the mess hall when the captain steps out in front of you
>gah!
>where the fuck was he hiding?
>"So, Private! Where do you think you're going?"
"Sir, I'm on my way to the mess hall before reporting for duty, just like you ordered, sir!"
>he smiles cruelly
>"Really, Private? Why, I was under the impression that you were going to be spending the next six hours scrubbing down the shower stall that you assaulted another guard in!"
>fuck, word travels fast
>then again, it wasn't exactly quiet
>or private
"B-But then I won't be able to go on rotation with the Princess!"
>the captain smiles at you
>an evil, malicious smile
>"Ain't that a shame."
>you nod slowly
>"There's a bucket, there's a scrub brush, there's soap and water down there. Get it, and get cleanin', or else your ass is going to be served up at dinner tonight on a silver platter!"
"Yes, sir."
>you grab the cleaning supplies, and scamper away
>man, fuck that hardass
>you're not going to waste a chance to be with Celestia
>it's a risk, but you're going to have to take it
>you run up the staircase, past the guard at the armory (who is dozing, by the looks of it), and scamper down the hallway
>you'll have to figure out what to do with the cleaning supplies
>you stop and slow down, turning towards the staircase
>you're going to need to be VERY careful that your captain doesn't see you
>you ditch the cleaning supplies at the top of the stairs, and walk on the tips down the staircase towards the mess hall
>hurts like fuck, but at least your quiet
>you peak into the crowded mess hall, the captain nowhere to be seen
>you do spot your best friend in the guard, Steep Steel, sitting a few tables over
>he's been on the Celestial shift for almost a year now
>he's who got you so hyped about it
>also probably the source of your infatuation with the Princess, given how he talks about her
>but you can't trust everything he says
>there's no way she takes guards out at random to have "private" sessions with them in the royal bedchambers
>that's all talk
>right?
>of course it's all talk
>well... until proven otherwise
>you'd need to do some more "investigation" in that area
>you head on over to the food line
>what's for breakfast? Hay again?
>OH BOY!
>Enlisted food... enlisted food never changes
>you get your serving, and a little trough of water, and levitate them both before you, making your place down next to Steep Steel
>"Oh, Anon! What's good, horncolt?"
"Is that a jab at the unicorn thing, or the shower incident?"
>Steep Steel looks down at his food, contemplating this for a moment
>"You know, come to think of it, both!"
>you pick at your hay, looking around nervously
"You know, you're a unicorn too."
>"Doesn't make our head protrusions any less hilarious."
>you shrug, and take a bite of the dry hay
>guh
>"So, you took on Shield Breaker in the showers, huh?"
"Well, it was either that or let him have his way with me. Believe me, it'll take someone pretty fucking important for me to let 'em go in that out hole. So what you got going on today?"
>Steep chews thoughtfully on some hay for a moment
>"I'm taking Celestia from noon to three today. Might go out drinking tonight, if you wanna come."
>you smile
"Hey, I've got the Princess from noon to three too! I just got put on rotation!"
>he returns the smile
>"No way! That's fucking awesome! Maybe she can finally show you the private bedroom..."
>he grins mischievously
>you sigh
"I really think that's just a load of crap. It's just... the Princess could have any stallion or mare she wants. Why would she just fuck her guards?"
>"We're the closest to her, dude. We listen to her talk when she's lonely, we give her company when she's doing some stupid paperwork, and we're always there for her. She likes to repay us!"
>he smiles dreamily.
>"It's the life, man. I've only been in their twice, but damn... felt like the sun itself was inside me."
>you raise an eyebrow, and turn down to your hay
"Well, whatever. Still think it's bullshit. Wouldn't want me first off, anyway..."
>Steel pats you on the back
>"Don't think like that! She'll wanna take you for a spin at least once. And if you're awful, then..."
>you punch him in the side, and he laughs
>"Nah, I'm kidding."
>he looks at you as you glance around the room again
>"Why are you acting so twitchy?"
>you push your trey forward, swallowing your bite of hay
"Well, this has been nice, but I gotta go. I've got to be on the lookout for the captain right now."
>Steep Steel pushes his hay around
>"Why?"
"He heard about the shower scene, and I guess he has a hard on for Shield Rapist. Sent me to scrub the showers, but there is no way I was missing out on the Celestial shift."
>Steep Steel gives you a sly smile
>"Hey, guess you're finally taking your fate into your own hooves. Good for you, Anon! Good for you."
>you take a few quick sips from your mini-trough, and get up, waving goodbye to Steep Steel
"See you at noon!"
>he salutes you in an informal, joking way
>that guy...
>you've still got about two hours before noon
>what do?
>you decide that walking around the castle would be best for avoiding the captain
>he'll have a harder time finding you if you don't stay in one place
>you gotta be on the lookout for Shield too
>you don't want to have to deal with him right now
>you could always hide in the garden...
>as you ponder this, walking along the fifth floor corridor, you hear voices
>oh shit
>that's the captain and a lieutenant!
>fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck
>you look around for a place to hide
>there's a broom closet
>there's a statue of the Princess
>and there's a window
>broom closet! The shirker's hideaway!
>you're not even sure they're used for brooms anymore
>you slide right on in, closing it quietly behind you
>you hide in the dark, breathing as quietly as you can
>it's completely dark, save for the sliver of light coming from under the door
>you hear the captain's voice
>"...well, when they found the skeleton in the kitchen, they assumed it was mine, so by the time I got home the landlord had already rented the place out to someone else. So..."
>the voice fades away, and you let out a sigh of relief
>two large glowing eyes appear right next to you, causing your heart to stop for a moment.
>"Hey."
>you let out a little squeak, and sink to the floor
"Hi."
>your voice is a few octaves higher than normal
>you sound like somepony stepped on your balls and ground them around a little bit
>you're shaking pretty bad
>"What're you doing in my bedroom?"
"I... I didn't know it was your bedroom! I thought it was a broom closet!"
>"It is."
>you stare at the eyes for a moment. The voice is decidedly feminine, so you're gonna use female pronouns from now on with her.
"I-It's both?"
>"Well, it's not really my bedroom. I just crash here during the day. I work the..."
>there's a creepy pause for some reason, and from somewhere off in the castle, you hear an ominous piano chord play.
>"The Night Shift."
"Oh, so your one of Luna's guards. Sorry I didn't need to intrude, I only needed somewhere to hide for a moment. The moment has passed so I will get out of your mane."
>"Wait! Hold on."
>you wait and hold on
"Huh? Why?"
>"You're like, the first pony who has talked to me in days."
>you raise an eyebrow, which you suppose she can see, since nightvision and whatever
"Really? Why?"
>"Well... nopony on my team are really talkers, and those who are..."
>she sighs
>"They're fucking depressing."
"Well if you don't mind me keeping you up, I do have a few hours before I have to report for duty, so sure never talked to a night guard before."
>"Sure! I don't need much sleep, it was just kinda jarring to be woken up when you slammed in."
>you figure introducing yourself is the first step in any meaningful relationship establishment.
"I'm Anonymous, but everypone calls me Anon."
>"I'm Jarboe."
>you try not to ask her about her name
"Jarboe?"
>man, fuck you, brain
>"Yeah. Got a problem?"
"No, it's just... different, is all."
>"Well, thestrals do have their own naming conventions."
"It's nice to meet you Jarboe."
>you stick your hoof out, and bump into her. You blush, and move your hoof to a more neutral zone.
>she giggles
>"Yeah, must be a bitch not being able to see in the dark, huh?"
"It's got its ups and downs."
>"Well, you're not really a looker in the dark. no one is. It's all black and white in here... makes me wish I could stand sunlight."
"You don't like the sun?"
>"Hurts my eyes. Too much light... bleh. But fuck, if I don't miss colors while I'm stuck in the dark..."
>she sighs wistfully
>she takes your hoof and shakes it. Her hoof feels really... weird. Like she had it on ice for a really long time.
>you decide to make some idle conversation, to make sure she doesn't get too depressed talking about eyesight
"Well, I'm starting my first assignment guarding Celestia herself today, what's your usual assignment detail with the night guard?"
>"Wow, you get to guard a princess? You have to be on the force for a while to even SEE Princess Luna in..."
>the same chord from earlier plays.
"The Night Guard."
>you frown
>"But it's not awful, aside from the company. Usually I just take over the job of a sleeping pony. Sometimes I fly above the palace, and sometimes I patrol the gardens and the grounds. We get a lot of criminal action in..."
>chord
>"The Night Guard, so it's a lot less boring."
"Why do you pause whenever you say..."
>suddenly, your throat goes dry, and you can't speak
>a dry hiss of air escapes, but nothing else
>there's that dramatic chord
>suddenly, feel your throat return to normal, and you shakily say
"Th-The Night Guard?"
>you hear her sigh
>"It's a curse. Every thestral has a curse. Sometimes minor, sometimes bigger."
>your eyes go wide
>"And yours is contagious? Oh sweet Celestia, am I gonna have to pause and hear that chord every time I want to say..."
>chord
"The Night Guard?"
>she giggles
>"No, stupid. That's just hysteria. You said it normal earlier. Now your mind is just fucking with you."
"Oh."
>you blush again, and she makes a high pitch noise that sounds like a strangle sort of giggle
>creepy
"So, earlier, you mentioned that you run into criminals on the job. What kind?"
>"Mostly just like, teenagers trying to rough the place up. Graffiti and shit. We don't deal with major things, like assassins or jewel thieves or nothin'. Not often, anyway."
>you nod slowly
"Wish we got some action. Seems like we're doing all this guarding for nothing."
>"Well, it's not THAT exciting, but... keeps my nights busy."
>you've got an idea
"Here."
>you spark your horn, creating a faint, dull glow
>you can't see any colors, but by the sound of her gasp, she can
>"Oh wow, Anon, you look... just like the others guards, but fuck! I can see colors!"
>she places her cold hooves on your legs
>"Actual white..."
>she runs them over your armor
>"Actual gold... fuck..."
>is she salivating?
"U-Um... has it been a while since you've seen c-colors?"
>"Oh, you don't even know..."
>she pauses, blushing herself, which looks really weird in black and white
>"Sorry, am I weirding you out? I... I mean..."
"Well, I'm not quite used to mares running their hooves over me in such a way..."
>"Not a guy of a lot of action?"
>you frown
"Hey! I... I get some... well, I mean... do you say that to everypony right after you meet them?"
>she giggles, still blushing
>"Sorry, I guess I am rather... abrasive."
>you hear 11 loud rings
>still got an hour left, alright
"So, Jarboe... you can, you know, keep going... I don't really mind, it just took me by surprise, is all."
>she laughs
>"Damn, you really are a horndog..."
>she looks up at your horn and then laughs harder
>"AHAH! Oh, jeez..."
>you clamp your hooves over your horn.
"Do you know a guard named Steep Steel, by any chance?"
>she shrugs. "Nope. Doesn't ring a bell."
>you shake your head, and then chuckle, looking up at her
>the two of you are soon laughing up a storm
>when you two calm down, you scoot closer to Jarboe.
"D-Do you wanna like, I dunno..."
>she waits patiently while you battle with your tongue and vocal chords
"D-Do a thing?"
>she snorts
>"What?"
"Like, I dunno, you seem really... kinda like..."
>you stammer, blushing really hard
"Do you wanna do it?"
>you blurt this out, shoving a hoof in your mouth a little too late.
>she laughs out again, this time being the scooter
>"Well, you're very up front, aren't you, Anon?"
"Well, I-I do pride myself on being upfront."
>she giggles again, and leans up against you
>"Well, maybe if you can... entertain me, we can have a little fun," she says, rubbing up against you.
>Man, that is fucking cold!
>makin' your hairs stand on end
>b-but in a good way
>this could end very well
>alright, Anon
>how can you entertain her...
"Well, I mean... what do YOU find entertaining?"
>"A lot of things... colors, mostly..."
"Yeah, I got that."
>she gives you a besmused look
>"You want to humor the mare you're trying to rut, Anon."
>you close your mouth, nodding
>Jarboe laughs and smiles at you, her pointed teeth glowing in the light of your horn
>"I like being able to actually talk with ponies, like you! I can actually talk with you, and I feel like you're listening... no one on..."
>you hum along with the chord this time, having anticipated it
>"The Night Guard really cares enough to talk, and I feel like that sets you apart."
>you blush and smile, leaning up against her
>the chill feels lovely now
>like a breeze on a cold November day
>"I like being able to know you're actually here, Anon. That you're real. Not just some... figment."
"Am I entertaining?"
>she smiles at you
>"You know what? You really are."
>you smile
>and you make your move
>you lean in, and kiss her on the cheek
>it's like putting your lips on cold marble
>but that was certainly fur right there
>you could care less, because you've never kissed marble that felt this nice
>and you speak from experience, you've had a lot of... intimate relationships with statues of Princess Celestia before
>you briefly wonder if it would be rude to tell her that she feels cold, but nice
>but you are Anonymous
>not Tactnonymous
>bitch can deal
"You know, Jarboe, you feel... cold."
>she shrugs
>"I know. Thestrals ride the cold winds, we're a cold race. We're closer to Luna then Celestia, so... we're colder."
"It feel nice, though."
>she affords you a smile
>this bitch ma be ice cold
>but you will make her melt
>you should also stop referring to her as a bitch in your inner monologues, her eyes give you this weird sensation, like she can read your mind
>you bring your hooves up, and them them over her wings
>they feel almost bristly, which is super weird for wings
>but the rough feeling along your hooves is nearly orgasmic
>fuck, thestrals are so amazing
>Jarboe shivers
>"Mmm, Anon... your hooves are far more nimble then thestral hooves... they're a light, delicate touch... I love them."
>aw yiss
>making the mares melt
>well, she's liking your hooves
>might as well go for the plot
>maybe some friction will warm her up
>you embrace her fully, your front pushed up against hers
>chills running down your spine
>your hooves trail down against her lower back
>Jarboe gasps where your hooves reach her backside
>it's not overly plump, but it's not bony, either
>muscular is a good word
>taught and fit
>Jarboe is /in shape/
>kinda makes you feel bad about shirking on your workout drills
>but now's not the time for self-pity over your flab
>you've got to make some heat
>you slowly begin to rub your hooves up and down on her flanks
>Jarboe moans softly into your ear
>even her breathe is cold
"Let's warm that breathe up."
>before she can even respond, you give her a kiss on the lips, gently bringing your two mouths together
>her lips are cold, but full
>her tongue is cold, but strong
>you breathe in slightly, mixing your warm breathe with her icy one
>Jarboe moans deeply
>her saliva is like ice water
>almost refreshing, really
>your hooves are still idly trailing up and down her flanks
>you kiss her on the chin, just below the lips
>and then a kiss right under her chin, where her neck begins
>"Ah... your mane tickles, Anon..."
>she must have gotten a face full of it
>but that's not the only things she'll get a face full of
>you player you
>you can feel your loins stirring
>oh man, you are one lucky guardpone
>you kiss her neck once more, this time on the side
>your face is in her mane, the cold fibers brushing up against you
>blasting your face like a blustery breeze
>you slowly lick down to her shoulder, and place a kiss on her upper back
>"Mm, Anon... where are you..."
>your hooves have frozen in place, but now you're pushing down on that toned flank
>applying pressure to those muscles
>you rise up a bit, leaning down over her back
>kissing her right above her wings
>she moans louder than ever
"Keep it down, will you? Somepony might hear you, and then our fun will end!"
>you nibble gently at the base of her wing, and Jarboe bites her lip, making a strained, repressed groaning noise
"And you wouldn't want that, would you?"
>"N-No..."
"Good..."
>you are no standing on your back hooves, curled around under her left arm and kissing down right between her wings
>your hooves are digging into that magnificent plot
>and Jarboe is trying her best not to moan out
>you sit still for a moment, holding onto the thestral
>it's time to move forward
>be forward, just like she said you were
"A-Alright, Jarboe... turn around."
>she lets out a soft gasp as she lets go of her lip
>"Wh-What?"
"Turn around."
>she slides out of your grasp, and obliges, turning around. You've got a nice view of that dark grey plot.
>Nice hips, not obscenely wide, but not cramped either
>shapely, and you bet you could see the movement of her muscles under her coat and skin if it were brighter in here
>this is nice
"Lift your tail..."
>her thick, black tail, flicks for a moment, then hikes up
>her nethers are in the shadow of her tail, but as you move your face closer, your horn illuminates them
>they're jet black in coloration, and her slit is glistening ever so slightly
>oh myyyyy
"Open your legs..."
>Jarboe shifts her legs, and slides them open
>her slit parts ever so slowly, a thin web of juices connecting the two lips
>her anus is puckered, and quivering slightly
>damn, you are a lucky colt today
>you've got to lick that sweet marepuss
>you lean in, and lick it
>your eyes go wide as your tongue connects with her pussy
>it's fucking cold
>like licking a Popsicle
>you should have been prepared for this
>but you were not
>your body wasn't ready
>it's got a subtle taste to it that marepuss usually doesn't have
>a hint of vanilla? No, it was sharper than that
>fuck
>you can't place it
>oh well
>Jarboe is quivering now
>you can hear her short, quick breathing echoing around the closet
>you lean forward just a bit more, breathing a teasing, warm breath onto her frigid cunt
>her pussy shudders, and her clit exposes itself, winking at you a few times
>you get real close, smiling deviously
>and the next time it pops out, you latch onto it with your lips
>"AH! A-Anon!"
>you gently suckle on her sweet spot, teeth ever so gently resting on it
>gentle nibbles
>"G-Gah... Anon, w-wow..."
>you slide your tongue down on the upside of her clit, and move in on her pussy
>it brushes over her urethra, the slightly salty taste sending a shiver down your own spine
>you relinquish her clit, and slowly start licking your way upward
>gently wetting down the edges of her labia as you head up towards her anus
>you've gotten it all nice and moist now
>you lick your lips, and eye your prize
>Anon Jr is rearing and ready to go
"I'm going to mount you now, alright?"
>Jarboe nods, biting her lip, a thin trail of saliva leaking down from the corner of her mouth
>you smile, and place your hooves on either side of her wings
>you line your hips up, your member bumping against her inner thighs
>sliding up the length of her slit
>primed and ready for action
>you need to give her the D
>you were made for this
>Actually, you were made because of a faulty condom, but you like to pretend otherwise
>you thrust forward, parting her pussy like the goddamn red sea
>Jarboe lets out a loud moan
>and yeah, so do you
>you keep thinking about how you're going to get caught
>but you can't help but keep thrusting forward, and letting out little moans
>it feels like you've just immersed your dick in a bucket of ice
>but by Luna's perky nipples, you think you've got a chilling fetish now
>fucking thestrals man
>fucking thestrals
>you hope silently that nopony needs to use the cleaning supplies
>that would be awkward
>you might even get kicked out of the guard
>but you're in full fuck right now
>you can't stop
>so you keep thrusting
>Jarboe is making high pitch squeaking noises
>like somepony stepped on a bat
>you hug her sides, and lay your back down on her
>thrusting faster and faster
>you could care less if you get caught now
>you're getting close
>you're gonna burst
>you consider warning Jarboe that you're gonna cum
>but decide against it
>that's just not how the Anon pony do
>you need to get all the way in there first
>bury your whole dick in this ice cave
>you thrust forward hard, sliding in all eight of your inches
>Jarboe lets out a massive gasp
>man, if there's anypony in this hall right now, you two are so fucked
>figuratively
>but because the literal's already going on
>you're golden, baby
>you're balls deep
>you feel your balls against her cold body
>smacking against them lightly
>you can't hold out for much longer
>with a single grunt, you cum
>"ANON!"
>you feel like your crotch was just dunked in arctic waters
>hopefully, some nice warm stallion seed with thaw out Jarboe a little
>you can feel the rivulets of your cum running past your cock as Jarboe 
>flexes her muscles
>filth.mp3
>you're pumping a lot of potential pony paste into her
>the possible reprocusions of this don't even occur to your
>you're on cloud nine, baby
>and you're not talking about the pegasus gay bar
>"A-Anon..."
>Jarboe and you stay there for a moment, breathing heavily together
>she's considerably warmer than she was before
>or maybe you're just going numb from the constant exposure to somepony so cold
>who cares
>you had the sex, baby
>and it was good
>but was it good for her?
"So, Jarboe..."
>"Nuh?"
"What did you think of this little exchange?"
>Jarboe breaths heavily for a little bit
>"I think..."
>"I think that I will take to the habit of sleeping in broom closets far more often."
>you and her share a short chuckle
>"D-Do you mind... pulling out?"
>you oblige, a good amount of thick unicorn seed splattering the floor at Jarboe's back hooves
>"You know, Anon..." Jarboe says, bringing her hoof up to her messy cunt and wiping off some of the cum
>"I really had a lot of fun."
>you stare at her smiling in the dim light of your horn, that weird little blush on her cheeks.
>"And I really think that we should..."
>she twists around onto her back, front hooves on her chest, back legs spread wide open
>her cute little belly a little bit pudgier than the rest of her body
>"Do mo—"
>BONGBONGBONGBONGBONGBONGBONGBONGBONGBONGBONGBONG
>oh shit!
"Sorry Jarboe, I gotta run! My shift with the Princess starts now!"
>you grab your helmet, which must have been discarded at some point you can't remember
>you fling open the door to the broom closet, and almost walk right into...
>Shield Breaker
>well, his ass is the more appropriate term, as he's facing away from you
>and by some stroke of luck, hasn't noticed you yet
>what do?
>you stand there, hoping he isn't going in the same direction you're going
>he is
>fuck
>he's walking smugly down the hall towards the staircase that will lead up to the courtroom floor
>and he says something that makes your seethe in anger
>"Fuck! Today turned out better then I could ever hope! Even though I didn't get Anon's sweet ass, I get his position guarding Celestia while he scrubs the showers! Hah!"
>you are going to knock this fucker out
>no one takes your spot with the Princess
>not after you waited so long
>but fuck
>what would you do it with?
>there's probably something in the closet with Jarboe...
>oh shit!
>Jarboe!
>If she can brave the light, she could help you get this fuck dealt with
>you'll have to move fast...
>the fire inside you has died
>you can't do this
>it seemed great in the heat of the moment, but...
>sometimes, life's a bitch.
>at least you've got Jarboe
>and hell, maybe you'll get another chance soon.
>right?
>yeah, right...
>you open up the closet, where you see Jarboe licking the inside of her thigh like a dog
>she makes a loud, high pitch hissing noise as the light is cast over her
>you quickly shut the door behind you, and light up your horn
>you shut it a little louder then you intended
>"The fuck?" you hear Shield Breaker say from down the hall
>hoofbeats getting closer
>shit
>Jarboe looks at you. "Who's that?"
>you swallow hard
"Can we hide a body in here, Jarboe?"
>she gives you a look that suggests she thinks tht you're mentally ill
>"You're not gonna kill whoever that is, are you?"
"Well..."
>you give her the quick, abridged version
"Rapist, captain's bitchboy, gonna tear my ass up."
>she ponders this for a moment
>"Let's just take him out. If he attacks us first, we can say it's self defense!"
"Shh!"
>you can hear his hoofbeats stop right in front of the closet door
>the door swings open
>Shield Breaker looks very surprised to see you
>but it soon turns to aggression
>Jarboe shrieks and recoils to the back of the closet, away from the light
>Adrenaline is pumping in your veins
>you're ready
"Oy, you back for another round?"
>Shield Breaker grits his teeth, and prepares to charge
>you try and hop to the side
>but to no avail
>you get steamrolled by that faggot
>you're pinned on the ground, his hulking frame over you
>"Well, looks like I'm not only taking your place with the Princess, but revenge for earlier, AND your anal virginity as well!"
>"Today /is/ a great day!"
>you struggle under him, but you can't break free
>he's slowly lowering himself down
>you close you eyes
>THWACK!
>you feel a weight lifted off you, and a HARD crushing feeling on your back legs
"FUCK!"
>you see him laying on your back legs
>you're still pinned, but you can move your forelegs and upper body
>you see Jarboe stumbling around in little twirls, holding her hooves over her eyes
>"fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck..."
>you swing the door shut with a spark from your horn
>you swing wildly down at Shield, and from the high pitched squeal that comes from him
>you don't think it hit his face
>suddenly, you feel him being lifted off you, and you hear a loud SMASH
>a bucket rolls over towards you
>you hear another SMASH
>a BANG
>a CRUNCH
>and even
>a POP!
>a small groan comes from the corner of the closet, and you feel something cold move up next to you
>you see Jarboe open her eyes int he darkness
>and you light your horn
>"Hi," she pants, out of breath, a large bruise on her cheek, and a trickle of blood making its way down from one of her nostrils
"H-Hey."
"Jarboe?"
>"Yeah?"
>you kiss her on the lips, her blood cold and metallic
>like liquid steel
"You're an amazing mare."
>you wipe away the blood from her face with your hoof, smearing it across her cheek
>whoops
>kinda hard to do this with big, bulky hooves, and trying to avoid that bruise
"Are you okay?"
>"I've been beaten up worse."
"But are you okay?"
>she smiles, but it looks more like a grimace
>"It hurts so fucking bad."
>she giggles and cringes
>you hug her tenderly
"Want to go to another closet, away from the scene of the crime? I could blindfold you so you don't hurt your eyes..."
>Jarboe tilts her head to the side
>"Well, usually when somepony wants to blindfold a mare and 'lead' her someplace, that sends up a red flag..."
>you give her a look, and she chuckles weakly
>"Okay, fine. I know you'll be sweet about it."
>now, to find something to keep her eyes safe...
>there are some cleaning rags, that might do the trick!
>you grab a (mostly) clean one, and tie it around her eyes and forehead
"Come on, I'll lead you to the medical ward instead. You're too classy for a closet."
>she giggles as you open the door, kicking Shield in the stomach for good measure
>you saunter down the hall, towards the staircase that would have lead you to the throne room
>fuck, that's right!
>Celestia's a guard down
>well, Jarboe's health is a bit more important now
>you step onto the stairway when suddenly, a shooting pain goes through your back legs, together at once, and you fall down onto the stair, rumbling down a few before you catch yourself
>shit, your back legs! that fatass landed on them and must of busted them up
>you were so full of adrenaline that you didn't even notice the pain
>come to think of it, you were hobbling down the hallway
>the pain is excruciating
>"Anon? Are you okay?" Jarboe calls out to you from a few steps upward
"I'm fine, I just fucked my legs up! Shield landed on them pretty hard..."
>you look up and down the stairwell
>nopony around
"HEY! LITTLE HELP HERE! INJURED GUARDS!"
>after a moment of silence, Jarboe turns her head down in your direction
>"I don't think anypony is coming, Anon."
>fuck, she's right
"W-Well, do you think you could carry me?"
>"I can't see, wingus."
"Yeah, but I could direct you! Tell you where to fly, and stuff."
>"Well... I dunno. You'd have to ditch your armor."
>ditch your armor?
>your pride and joy?
>fuck, why are the bitches always making you CHOOSE?
>you take off your armor and your helmet, carefully setting them on the step next to you
"G-Goodnight, sweet princes...
>you drag yourself up to Jarboe's hooves
"I-I'm gonna try and climb up on you, alright?"
>you grunt as you hoist yourself onto her back
>she groans loudly
>"Damn Anon, what do you eat, cinderblocks?"
"Hey, I'm actually pretty stoaked about this! I didn't think I'd get a chance to be on top of you again so soon!"
>she shifts her weight to the right, and you slide off of her, tumbling down next to your armor
>after painfully crawling up back on top of her, she spreads her wings, giving a few hard flaps
>"Gah! Fuck, you're too heavy. I think I can walk with you just fine, though."
"Alright... the infirmary is just down these steps, a floor below us. Then we can take the corridor down to the very end, and we're there."
>Jarboe nods, and takes a careful step down.
>you almost slide off of her, and she almost looses her balance
>you both scream out, and you hug her tightly to keep from slipping
"O-Okay... now the next one."
>this is going to be a LONG walk
>after a painstaking 20 minutes, you two make it to the landing
>you only stumbled like, four times!
>and each time, Jarboe was able to catch herself using her wings
>it was nerve-wracking, though.
>you two are now slowly heading down the hallway
>you need something to break the awkward silence though
>the only noises you two have exchanged in the past 20 minutes have been obscenities and strangled screams
>come on Anon... think!
"So..."
>you break the awkward silence with that word and a clearing of your throat
"When is your shift tonight? Maybe I can treat you to dinner before you start, or I could wake up earlier and treat you to a pre-sunrise breakfast?"
>she giggles
>"Dinner sounds nice... and so does breakfast... care for both?"
"Well, you did beat up a rapist for me..."
>Jarboe smiles
>"I'd do it again. And NOT just because I like beating up ponies... but I totally do."
>you two share a laugh
>you do a lot of that with her
"Hey, we're almost at the medical ward! We can get you all patched up."
>"Me? You're the one who can barely walk! Jeez, I am saving your ass today..."
>you two enter the medical ward
>two nurses rush over to you, having seen you coming down the hall
>"What happened? Is there an attacker in the castle?"
>"We got him," Jarboe says. One of the nurses goes for the rag, but she puts her hoof up. "The uh... the light hurts my eyes. Thestral."
>the nurses nod, and they lead her over to a bed
>leaving you on the floor with the hurt legs
"Um, a little help?"
>"Oh, of course!"
>you're helped into a cot
>one right across from Jarboe
>the nurses undo her rag, and place two cotton pads over it
>ties gauze nearly around her head, so it looks much more tidy, not like a hasty application to a wounded guerrilla fighter in the street
>you lay there while they examine your hooves, tapping it, testing it
>hurts like hell
>turns out, you sprained them
>or, fatty mcfatty sprained them when he landed on them
>you hear hooves coming in from the side, and the nurses and the doctor, who was coming down from the end of the ward, all drop down into a bow
>you turn around, and gasp softly, mouth agape, eyes wide
>you are going to tell her everything
>Well, you were going to tell her everything
>except
>you know
>this isn't who you thought it would be
>it's a Princess alright
>but this is not the Princess you're looking for
>this is Princess Luna, Princess of the Night
>you gape like a fish out of water, who is also in the presence of a Princess he had never actually seen before outside of brief public cameos
>"We heard that one of our own was injured. Is this her right here?"
>Luna begins to walk towards Jarboe
>"Yes, Princess..."
>Jarboe's voice seems... distant
>what's going on
>"Is one of our children of the night wounded? How did this happen?"
>Jarboe breathes in heavily
>"I reprimanded a pony who had assaulted a guard previously."
>Luna stands by Jarboe's bed
>"And who is this pony? We must know."
>"He is laying in the bed across from me."
>Luna turns from Jarboe, and paces towards you.
>Oh shit, zigger, it's the Princess of the Night
>Luna looks down at you, with a stare that usually precedes castration with bare teeth
>"So it was you assaulted a guard? We deal very harshly with those kinds of—"
>"No!" Jarboe cuts in. "No, it's not like that! I meant that the guard who got assaulted is lying there! That's..."
>she pauses
>"That's Anon."
"Anonymous, Princess."
>your voice is barely a small squeak
>"Hm. We see. What did you do with the guard who accosted you?"
>oh shit
>you better just go with it
>you better just do it
>you must save your glorious ass
"W-Well, we... apprehended him, and disciplined him."
>"And where is this guard now?"
"Um... currently, he is recovering in the 5th floor broom closet."
>Luna raises an eyebrow
>fuck, that look is intense
>you like Celestia better
>she has a warm demeanor to her that always sits right with you
>Luna...
>you've heard good things about her, but
>right now, she's making you feel very uncomfortable
>like she might disembowel you at any moment
>"What did this guard do to deserve this?"
"H-He tried to..."
>the words can't come out
>you close your lips, chewing on the inside of your cheek
>how the fuck do you say this? 
>it was so easy to talk to Jarboe
>but in front of a Princess
>it almost seems shameful
>"The guard attempted to sexually assault him. When he confronted him again, he threatened to do it again, and tried to carry the action out. Out skirmish followed."
>based Jarboe
>Luna nods
>"We understand. We will send guards to gather the stallion from the broom closet, if he is still there, and pick up his statement in his side if the story."
"Wait, Princess!"
>your voice is hoarse, as If you had something caught in it
>"Yes, Anonymous?"
"M-My captain... My captain and Shield Breaker are in cahoots, and uh... They cover for each other. He covered up all the times he tried assaulting other guards, and me of course. He, um, he also punished me for fighting back against him."
>you feel silly and stupid, like you're back in elementary school and telling in a kid for throwing paper balls at your head
>Jarboe nods
>"I can confirm that. Well, at least that the Shield Breaker seems to have been in cahoots with this captain, if what he said before assaulting Anonymous is any indication."
>"Who is you captain?" Luna asks
>you give her his name
>"We will conduct a formal investigation."
"I hope this works..."
>you say this as Princess Luna trots away
>"Yeah, me too," Jarboe agrees
>the doctor and the nurses have stopped kowtowing and have resumed their examinations of Jarboe
>the doctor pulls a curtain around her
>one of the nurses assists him
>the other nurse is wrapping your back hooves up
"Why have they pulled the curtain around her?"
>"Private examination."
"How long is it going to take?"
>"Shouldn't take too long. Doctor Domicile is fast and efficient."
>you nod
"A-Am I allowed to know what's going on in the private examination?"
>she gives you a look like you're an idiot
>Well, you guess you kind of are
>was worth a shot though
"I hope she'll be okay..."
>"She'll be fine, dear, I'm sure of it..."
>the nurse writes something down on her clipboard, and you shift your legs
"Um, so how long will I be out of commission for?"
>she sets down the quill on her clipboard
>"Well, it'll take a week or two for your legs to heal up fully, but after we keep you in the ward overnight, we can give you crutches!"
>what?
>how do those even work for a pony?
"Um..."
>"It'll be like a wheelchair, basically, except we'll harness it to your midsection, and you'll have two shafts connected to wheels, so you can drag yourself around."
>that sounds... kind of embarrassing
>but, you suppose it'll be worth carting yourself around
>unable to use stairs...
>just so you can gloat to everypony about your triumph
>nothing to do now but wait
>you look around as the nurse trots away, sighing
>after a few minutes, the curtain around Jarboe is pulled away
>Doctor Domicile sighs, and looks down at his clipboard
"Is everything alright?"
>Doctor Domicile sighs
>"Well, yes. Just some minor laceration on her face, and some bruising, nothing permanent."
>"But, I did notice something in my examination..."
>you look over at Jarboe, whose ears have perked up
"What?"
>"You two recently had unprotected sex, did you not?"
>you're too mortified to make a sound, and Jarboe gasps quietly
>"How... how did you..."
>"Well, due to the dilation of your labia majora, the small microtears along your inner vaginal lining..."
>he pauses, and you look at him with a froze face of utter horror
>"...and the copious amount of fresh /semen/ contained about two inches within..."
>you squeak and try and sink down into your covers
>Jarboe is blushing heavily
>the first time you've seen her do so in the full light
>kinda cute, really
>"I'd say it's a safe bet the two of you enjoyed a nice little closet rut."
>"I-I thought I felt something still down there..." Jarboe mutters
>fuck girl
>clean up properly next time
>well, time to come clean
>since Jarboe can't keep herself as such
"Alright, maybe we did. "But please, PLEASE don't tell anypony! Jarboe did it on her time off, but I was supposed to be... uh... doing other stuff. I was on duty! I'll get my balls busted for this."
>Doctor Domicile quirks an eyebrow
>"Oh, really? Give me one good reason why I shouldn't turn you in. Trust me, if you can come up with a good one, I'll keep my lips zipped. I'm not an unreasonable stallion."
"I... can't think of a reason. But you name it and I might be able to do whatever you want/need done!"
>the doctor smiles
>"Anything?"
>you nod
>"Even something so ludicrous and outlandish that you'd rather just let me tell your superiors what you were doing?"
"Well, yeah, but it all depends on what that is."
>the doctor chuckles
>"Well, if you knew before you agreed, there was no way you'd do it. So, since I rarely get to have fun in this little hell-hole, I'll leave you up to the choice: agree to do it, or agree to let me report this."
>fuck, this guy is a tricky bastard
>whatever
>what's the worst that could happen
>well, double anal penetration, but
>you're willing to take that risk
"Alright, fine. I'll do it."
>Doctor Domicile grins
>"Anon! You don't have to do this!" Jarboe says from across the room
"Jarboe, I'll be fine."
>"Well, you may or may not be," the doctor admits.
>"You're going to be part of a drug trial."
"What kind of drugs?"
>Doctor Domicile shakes his head, smiling
>"Well, they're supposed to be pain killers... but with these kinds of things, crazy shit goes down left and right. Really, anything could happen to you."
>"I'm so glad you already agreed to do it!"