Dumb Halloween thing.

>It's the night of Horse-October the 31st, and your six best friends have called you to meet them at the library.
>Twilight Sparkle; Pinkie Pie; Rarity; Applejack; Rainbow Dash; and Fluttershy.
>All of them looking up at you expectantly.
>All of them dressed up up as spiders.
>You suspect chicanery is afoot.
>Apart from showing you to a nearby couch and offering you tea, these ponies have said absolutely nothing to you.
>You wriggle in your seat and uncomfortably push your cup-and-saucer away from you.
>You give them a solid thirty seconds of silence to see if any of them want to explain why they called you here today, but they all seem content to bask in your presence and generally be a bit weird.
"So."
>A couple of ears swivel in your direction, but nobody says anything.
"What's the dealio here?"
>Pinkie Pie's ears twitch and she stands up, breaking away from the group and walking over to you.
>You guess you were right about them waiting for you to do something first.
>...why were they waiting for you?
>You wait patiently as Pinkie Pie joyfully bounces and jumps her way over to you.
>Despite her enthusiasm, her costume says in place and in one piece.
>The costume consists of a dark gray rubber sleeve, decorated with black stripes wrapping around her back and tummy.

>Where you would have expected to see a big, round spider-ass, Pinkie has a little bowl thing covering her bum with a hole at the end for her tail to go through.
>Even though the costume is clearly designed for a four-legged creature to wear it, it's got eight bouncy spider legs on it; four on each side.
>It reminds you more of a costume made for a dog than a costume made for a human, where arms and legs would sometimes count towards the total number of appendages.
>And much like a dog's costume, her entire underside is uncovered apart from a few rubber cords that tie the costume together and keep it from falling off of her body.
>It's one of the cutest things you've ever seen these ponies dress up as.
>Pinkie Pie leaps up into your lap and settles down with one final hop, skip, and jump.
>Laying on her back with her hooves curled up against her chest, Pinkie offers you a bright smile before talking.
>"It's Nightmare Night, silly!"
>Horse-Halloween?
>This explains literally nothing to you.
>You reach down to poke Pinkie Pie on the nose and watch as her eyes cross trying to follow your finger.
>The word "boop!" barely leaves your mouth before Pinkie grabs your hand in between her forehooves and hugs it to her chest.
>Without missing a beat, you start scratching her chest, digging your fingers deep into her tuft.
"I don't actually know what Nightmare Night is, Pinkie."
>Pinkie starts gently kicking your arm with her rear legs and is too busy being adorable to answer you.
>"Uh... Well, Anon...."
>Twilight Sparkle steps forward from the group, and is one of the only ponies who isn't giving Pinkie a weird look right now.
>Much like Pinkie Pie (and all the other ponies gathered here), Twilight is dressed up as a spider.
>The design is slightly different, either for variations sake or because Twilight's costume is of a different species of spider, but it's unmistakably an 8-legged nightmare.

>"L-Like Pinkie Pie was TRYING to say," she stutters, her face turning an interesting shade of red, "It's... It's, uh..."
>She tries to look at you, but her eyes keep flicking over to Pinkie Pie.
>The pink pony in question has now just started to rub her face in your open palm.
>Twilight tries to mumble her way through an explanation, but she seems distracted by what the little pink weirdo is doing on your lap.
>You hear a sigh before a blue hoof shoves Twilight aside, making way for the hoof's owner to take her place.
>"What TWILIGHT is trying to say," says Rainbow Dash, sounding like her already-shallow well of patience has dried up, "is that we're all dressed up to nab some candy and spook some ponies!"
>Rainbow Dash takes to the air and does a spin that shows off her costume very well.
>"But mostly to spook some ponies." she grins, coming to a stop in front of you.
>Unlike Pinkie's costume, Rainbow's costume covers her entire belly and seems to use a zipper to hold the costume in place.
>It honestly looks like she repurposed an old bodysuit and stuck some spider legs onto it.
>You don't know if she went for the bodysuit option because she thinks she'll be seen mostly from the ground, or if her first costume idea was to dress up as a Wonderbolt.
>Probably both.
>Rainbow Dash hovers in front of you and puffs up her chest in pride.
>With a "zipp" and a "snk", the zipper undoes itself a bit and exposes her upper-chest.
>Rainbow Dash follows your gaze and a smug smirk worms its way onto her face.
>She wriggles a bit more deliberately and works the zipper lower and lower down her chest.
>Untold fields of fluffy, downy chest-fur expose themselves to you.
>You barely resist the urge to reach up and run your fingers through her fluff.
>Pegasi fur is notorious for being soft and warm, and an opportunity like this is legitimately tempting.

>Rainbow must have seen the temptation in your eyes, because she throws you a wink and lowers herself so that you're at eye-level with her chest.
>"You know, Anon," she says in a flirtatious tone (ruined ever-so-slightly by her scratchy voice), "It was MY idea to prank the whole town into thinking it was overrun by giant spiders."
>She wriggles her eyebrows and crosses her forehooves underneath her chest tuft.
>This only serves to poof up her chest even further.
>You've never seen something more comfy.
>You want it.
>YOU WANT IT SO BAD
>"It was all me, Anon. Pretty cool, rig-woah!"
>Rainbow's tuft is sadly torn away from you by Pinkie Pie.
>Pinkie Pie, still laying on your lap, nabs Rainbow's tail with her forehooves and chomps down on it, munching away like it was her favourite candy.
>Rainbow Dash flaps her wings wildly, trying to escape Pinkie's iron grip on her tail, but she doesn't make any progress.
>"Pinkie Pie!" she shrieks, "Let go!"
>Pinkie, on the other hand, seems to be enjoying herself immensely, giggling and swatting at Rainbow's hind legs when they get near.
>You take pity on the cyan mare and start tickling Pinkie's tummy, hoping that it will loosen her grip on Rainbow's tail.
>She tries to stay strong, but no pony is a match for your dancing fingers.
>After a couple of seconds (seconds that felt like minutes to Pinkie) of wriggling and stifling giggles, Pinkie Pie opens her mouth wide and shrieks with laughter.
>Rainbow Dash yanks her tail away and flies out of Pinkie's biting range.
>After inspecting herself for any damages (other than her pride), Rainbow Dash glides away with her tail between her legs and ears flopping.
>You aren't sure, but you think you hear her muttering something about "blue beans".
>Meanwhile, Pinkie Pie squirms and kicks under your assault.
>"Nonny, no!" she cries, swatting at you, "Not in public!"
>Wait, what?
>You immediately stop tickling Pinkie and pull your hand back.
"What's that supposed to mean?"

>Pinkie's chest heaves as she tries to catch her breath, still victim to little giggle-fits as the aftershocks of your merciless assault hit her.
"No, really," you say, looking around the room, "Was that a sex thing?"
>Are you going to be put in the time-out corner again?
"Is this another one of those horse things, where something seems innocent to me but it's actually really lewd to ponies?"
>You try and get some assistance from the other girls, but they're all looking away uncomfortably.
>Dammit, it IS, isn't it?
>Pinkie rolls off of your lap and starts walking back to her group, swating your leg with her tail on her way out.
>"Nope!" she chirps, "I just said that 'cuz I wanted you to stop tickling me."
>"Yeah, 'nawn", drawls Applejack, "You was bein' awfully familiar with Pinkie Pie, is all."
>Before you can say anything, Pinkie gives you the most intense bedroom eyes you've ever seen.
>She even licks her lips to boot.
>"Come by the Sugarcube Corner later, Nonny, and you can tickle me somewhere else."
>With a parting wink to remember her by, Pinkie turns tail and leaves the room.
>You have the weirdest boner of your life.
>Nearly a year of being the only human around has lowered your standards to "is intelligent enough to understand spoken word".
>You say your goodbyes to everyone else and then "relieve" yourself before you go out.

----------------------------------

>The streets of Ponyville are alive tonight.
>Ponies in costume, from excited fillies and colts to adults on their way to Nightmare Night parties, fill the street.
>You can't deny that there is a certain energy in the air tonight.
>Excitement and delight mixed in with nervousness and that delightful thrill you get when you purposefully play video games that you know will scare you.
>It's like a feel of anticipation for something that is perpetually right about to happen.
>It makes you feel almost giddy

>A nearby house opens its door to accept a group of adult ponies in costume, momentarily flooding the streets with loud music and unintelligible shouting.
>Nightmare Night is alive here in Ponyville.
>That's not your focus for tonight, though.
>It's like a switch has been turned on in your head, and your brain is only just now acknowledging all that horsepussy that the mares of Ponyville proudly flaunt.
>You've been nursing a half-chub since you started exploring the holiday-decorated town.
>You keep it reigned in, though.
>There are foals about, and you don't want to be arrested for horse-pedophilia.
>Just as you walk by a spookified Sugarcube Corner, a voice catches your attention.
>"Hey, mister!"
>Hmmm?
>You follow the voice and find yourself staring down the barrel of a warm smile offered to you by a little colt.
>Unlike the girl's scary costumes, this little pony is wearing something much more benign.
>He's wearing a green bodysuit (with holes for his tail, face, and hooves) and a ring of yellow fins circles his face.
>Judging by the stitching, the costume is homemade.
>He's very clearly dressed as a flower.
>"What's your costume, mister?"
"My costume?"
>You make a show of spinning in a circle and looking under your arms in a big exaggerated investigation, making the colt giggle at your display.
"I'm not wearing a costume, silly!"
>You kneel down so that you're as close to eye-level to the baby pony as possible.
"What's your costume, little guy? Are you..."
>You put your hand to your chin and adopt and expression of extreme concentration.
"Hmmm.... A scary monster?"
>The colt titters and shakes his head.
>"No!"
"Are you... a clown?"
>The colt shakes his head again.
>"I'm not a clown!"
"Are you..."
>A new, adult voice makes itself known.
>"THERE you are!"
>A mare runs over, looking worried.
>"Oh, thank goodness I found you! I thought I told you not to run off!"
>The mare is panting and sweating and looks like she's about to collapse.

>She looks at you suspiciously for a moment before her eyes light up in recognition.
>This usually doesn't take long, what with you being the only human in town.
>Also, the entire world.
>The mare trots in a happy circle around her foal, clearly relieved to have him back.
>You do your best to keep your eyes off her flank; for her kid's sake.
>"Thank Celestia it was you who found him, Anonymous. The hubby would have had my ass raw if I lost him."
>The mare hugs the colt to her chest, rubbing the boy's head in her tuft.
>"We'll get you smelling like mama again in no time flat, kiddo."
>The colt laughs and pushes away with his hooves, and the two ponies playfully wrestle.
>Before they leave, the mare walks up to you and nods gratefully. 
>"Thank you for keeping my little colt occupied while I was looking for him. You, uh..."
>She looks around nervously and presses something into your hand.
>"You won't tell the mister I lost our foal, right?"
>Aww.
>Tiny horses acting worried about tiny horse problems never fails to be adorable to you.
"My lips are sealed."
>Walking across some poor sod's lawn, the mother and child go about their night going door-to-door for candy.
>What on Earth did that mare bribe you with?
>You look down at your hand and take a gander at your hush-hush present.
>It's....
>...a caramel apple?
>You fucking LOVE caramel!
>You promptly go to town on the sweet treat.

-------


>"Hey, Anon! C'mere a sec!"
>You haven't taken two bites out of your caramel apple before Rainbow Dash calls out to you.
>You look around and quickly spot her hiding behind an abandoned apple-bobbing pool.
>You walk over to her and kneel down.
>What's this little cutie doing, hiding behind there?
"What is it, Rainbow Dash?" you ask around a mouthful of sugar and apple.
>"Shh!"
>She points behind you, thrusting her hoof forward and knocking the caramel apple from your hand.
>Mother-FUCKER!

"Hey!" 
>You can only watch, helpless, as your candy-night treat flies out of your grasp and onto the dirty ground.
>"Look!" she hisses.
>You give her a quick glare before turning to see what she's pointing at with her caramel-stained hoof.
>Five familiar tails disappear around various corners, obstacles, and other unsuspecting ponies.
>Rainbow watches her friends run off, staying silent until the very last butt-mane is out of sight.
>When Pinkie Pie's fluffy tail finally disappears behind Sugarcube Corner, Rainbow lowers her hoof and sighs in relief.
>"I thought they'd never leave," she mumbles, leaning against the apple-bobbing tub.
"You had better have a replacement caramel apple, Rainbow," you mutter, sadly eyeing the soiled fruit.
>"Relax, sweetheart," says Rainbow dismissively, licking the smudge of caramel from her hoof like a cat, "I'll get you something nice later, okay?"
"Fuck you too, Rainbow Dash," you mutter, just loud enough for you to hear.
>Rainbow sees your expression and rolls her eyes and jabbing you on the shoulder.
>"Don't be like that, Anon. You know I'm good for it."
>Fuck's sake.
"Look, just.... what did you want?"
>"Hmm?" Rainbow looks up from her paw, tongue hanging out mid-lick.
>"Oh, right! C'mon, Anon, follow me!"
>Rainbow takes to the air, briefly startling you with how disturbing the imagry of a spider with wings is.
"What?" you ask incredulously, "No. Why would I do that?"
>"Why not? I mean, I'm a nice mare."
>She really isn't, though.
"Rainbow, you can show me some other time, alright?
>"I want you to rub my tuft, alright?!" she shouts, arms raised in exasperation.
>Oh.
>"And maybe... maybe I can rub something of yours, too~"
>Oh!
>Okay.
>Yeah, sure, you're sold.
>Caramel apple?
>WHAT caramel apple?
>Nothing in your little book of morals says anything against being a man-whore to animals.

>You are Rainbow Dash
>You knew Anon was a total airhead; you had your suspicions about him from the get-go.
>The socks
>The complete absence of testicle bras
>The way he never passes up an opportunity to rub a mare's belly
>All you had to do was say you'd show him the T(uft), and now he's following you around like a little lost colt.
>And you know rhymes with "T", filly?
>That's right.
>"V"
>Also, "D".
>And tonight's the night when all three come together, knowhatimsayin'?
>Anon can't see your face because you're flying in front of him, but you're waggling your eyebrows something FIERCE right now.
>You were honestly pretty dang happy when Anon didn't want to follow you at first; you like it when they play hard to get.
>It made him seem like less of a slut, too.
>Anon is great and all, but he's just not the sort of colt you can bring back and introduce to your father.
>But for a little bit of fun? Don't even worry about that.
>If he can last longer than 30 seconds, you're going to go straight to Twilight and see if she can figure out a way for Anon to walk on clouds.

>You are Anon
>Rainbow Dash has been leading you away from down and towards a small wooded area.
>It isn't the Everfree; just a benign gathering of trees.
>A normal woods.
>You make it to a small grove, where Rainbow Dash stops flying and turns around to face you.
>With a wink, Rainbow spins around and lifts her tail.
>You barely register a glowing crystal right where her asshole should be before you're covered in something white and sticky.
>Some very obvious thoughts and fears rocket through your mind before reality catches up with you and you realize that you can no longer move.
>FUCK
>With your arms and legs wrapped up and unable to balance yourself, you fall backwards and hit the ground with a pained grunt.
>Luckily for you, there are already a bunch of bullshit webs everywhere, so your landing is cushioned considerably.

>Did Rainbow prepare this little home-away-from-home just for you?
>How.... lovely.
"Why would you DO this?!"
>Of course this is what Rainbow wanted.
>How could she pass up an opportunity to prank somebody on Horse-Halloween?
>....she was never actually going to let you play with her tuft, was she.
>God dammit, you can be so stupid sometimes.
>Some days you see past these ponies bullshit
>Other days (like today) you act like a backwater country colt: distracted by shiny things and just really easy to fool.
>How did Twilight think that giving Rainbow Dash the powers of Spiderman was a good idea?
>You guess you could see Rarity doing something creative with this.
>Maybe she parked herself in an alleyway somewhere and turned it into a spooky spider's nest.
>Applejack could do... SOMETHING, you're sure.
>You know what? You bet that even Pinkie Pie cou-
>....
>Pinkie Pie.
>Oh, god, Pinkie Pie.
"Rainbow Dash!"
>Rainbow giggles and starts rolling you over, and you feel something start tugging at the web near your groin.
>You can't move your head very well, and all you can see of Rainbow Dash is the top of her head.
>"Settle down, kitten, I know you're excited. We'll get to that real soo-"
"No, shut up! Stop for a second!"

>Rainbow Dash groans in frustration and tumbles off beside you, rolling onto her back.
>"Aww, not NOW! Dammit, Anonymous, if you're about to pull some horseapples about 'not being ready', I'm going to beat you like a husband. I swear to Celestia, Anon."
>Rainbow Dash smothers her face with her hooves and groans miserably.
>Meanwhile, you continue to try and wriggle free.
"No, just... just stop thinking with your lady-dick for two seconds!"
>She sits up and peers at you in confusion.
>"My what?"
>When Rainbow Dash gets up and trots over to your head, her entire body comes into view.
>She's unzipped her costume almost all the way down to her crotch, and her entire tuft is on display.
>It looked like she gutted a pillow and taped it to her chest.
>It was beautiful.
>A big part of you sincerely regrets stopping her.
>Another big part, however, remembers the last time Pinkie got her hooves on magical powers of some description.
>It took two weeks for your testicles to shrink down to normal size.
"The other mares - can they do this web thing that you can do, Rainbow?"
>Rainbow sighs explosively as she zips her costume back up.
>"Yeah," she snaps, "So what?"
"Even Pinkie Pie?"
>Dash freezes mid-zip and her annoyed expression is slowly morphs into something closer to dawning horror.
>"Oh. That's not good."

>You wriggle around a bit to get her attention back to you.
"C'mon; let me up so that we ca-"
>She's on you faster than you can speak.
>Rainbow Dash tugs on your bindings...
>And then tugs again.
>Looking confused, she grabs the webbing somewhere else and gives it another pull.
>And then another one.
>She's looking more and more frustrated with each attempt to free you.
>And the way that she's anxiously looking back in the direction of town more and more frequently is giving you a really bad feeling.
>"Dangit... Look, Anon..."
>Tug
>"I'll... I don't know, I'll buy you dinner sometime, or... or..."
>Tug
"Rainbow..."
>"Or... or more of those, uh.. those chocolate apples you like..."
>Tug-tug
>"Chocolate is a colt's best friend, right?"
>Tug
"Rainbow, don't you dare."
>Rainbow drops her hooves and looks at you pleadingly, looking both distressed and desperate.
>"C'mon, mare! Don't be like this! I have to go and find Twilight before Pinkie DOES something!"
>She grabs the webbing again and digs her rear hooves into the dirt, gearing up for a big tug.
>"Why are these things so tight?!"
"Rainbow, I swear to God," you growl, "Don't you DARE leave me here!"
>Rainbow crawls on top of you, somehow remaining unstuck.
>Despite her usual dickishness, she actually looks remorseful for leaving you.
>"I'm sorry, Anon! Okay? For real this time, I'm sorry."
>...she wasn't sorry the other times?
>Fucking Rainbow Da-

>Rainbow plants a kiss on your forehead and leaps off of you.
>"I'll be back soon!"
"Rainbow!"
>As she fades away, you can just barely hear her voice trailing off in the wind.
>"Teeenn seccooonds fllllaaaaahhh....~"
"You shit, get back here!"
>Fucking ponies.
>These FUCKING ponies!
>You wiggle and waggle with all your might, pulling and pushing with your arms and kicking with your legs.
>Typical.
>Fucking typical Rainbow Dash.
>And you know what the worst part is?
>You agreed to follow her.
>You have nobody to blame but yourself.
>You-
>You're broken out of your huffy mood by the sounds of rustling leaves.

>"Dear Penthorse~" 
>No.
>Please, God, no.
>A fluffy pink mane slowly slides into view through leaves and branches.
>"I never thought it would happen to me~"
>Pinkie Pie, grinning sinisterly, slowly lowers herself out of the canopy on a single strand of web.
>Upon letting go of it, her fall is effortlessly broken by all the webbing on the ground.
>You realize too late that Rainbow Dash hadn't had the chance to lay down webbing on the ground for you.
>Much like an actual spider, Pinkie Pie had been sitting patiently.
>Waiting.
>She scuttles over to you, wriggling around back and forth to make it look like costume's legs were walking.
>Nearing you, she drops the predatory expression for just a moment and gives you a sympathetic smile.
>"She sure played a nasty trick on you, huh Nonners?"
>Pinkie licks her lips and lets her eyes travel all around your face.
>Her expression changes to something decidedly more... intimate.
>"Don't worry, I've got a nice treat for you~"
>With a quick peck on the lips, Pinkie walks around, grabs the scruff of your shirt in her teeth, and then drags you away.
>You can hear her giggling to herself all the way up to her bedroom in Sugarcube Corner.
The End.

------------------------
Epilogue
------------------------

>"Nonny, could you give me a hoof with something?"
>You look up from your book and find Pinkie dressed up as a spider.
>The very same spider from way back when you and she...
>Three pink foals run out from between Pinkie's legs, all in varying states of dress.
>Though there are many missing parts to their costumes, they're all clearly meant to be tiny spiders.
>You throw Pinkie a wink as you set your book down and help her get your foals ready for their first Nightmare Night.