2020: someday, friends.  Someday.

NOT ABANDONED

July 2017:  Put story on hiatus
Sorry, friends.  Some other time.

----------------------------------

Just a thing to say because I'm dumb and didn't really elaborate on it, and some people got confused: Anon is Sonata's great-grandson.  I mean that literally and not just as a way of saying that she's his ancestor and she's really REALLY old.  Sonata really did give birth to Anon's grandmother.  Adagio and Aria had kids around that time, and they intermingled with Sonata's kids.  The siren genes spread out and eventually there came a descendant that had 50% or more siren genes: Anon.

Note:  The timeline in the story is subject to change because I don't know what I'm doing.  Unless a scene is implied to have taken place immediately after the scene preceding it, it is safe to assume that a number of days have passed in between the scenes.

>Sirens track down one of their descendants 
>He's a tiny bit skeptical at the whole "otherworldly sea monster" thing
>They gotta try to convince him that they're related before Anon throws them out of his house
(I followed the THEME of the prompt, so that's close enough.)

-----------------------

"Bullshit."
>Sonata cringes and wrings her hands together, trying to shrink into the couch.
"You're like, 16."
>Why did you even let these kids into your apartment?
>They accosted you in the park and they were making a scene; a bunch of old hags were giving you dirty looks, and you were pretty sure that you'd get the cops called on you if you didn't get the four of you out of public.
>You tried to ditch them outside your building, but their tiny arms are freakishly strong and you were frogmarched into your own apartment.
>And now look at you.
>You've got a grumpy purple girl with tits the size of raisins (and an ass that's putting her pants to the test) reading one of your books
>A poofy orange girl with hips that don't quit is enjoying a drink from your fridge
>And this blue girl with an amazing rack (who doesn't like to wear bras, by the looks of those two lumps on the front of her shirt) is squirming anxiously on your couch and trying to pass for your great-grandmother.
>The thought is so silly and impossible you don't know why you're even bothering to have such a conversation.
>Adagio sips her drink and watches you intently; she's been looking between you and Sonata as you talked to each other as though following a game of tennis.
>Aria glances over the edge of her book, disinterested, before going back to her reading.
>"I told you it wouldn't work, Sonata," Aria drawls, licking her thumb and turning a page, "If my grandkids and Adagio's little brats didn't buy it, then why in Equestria did you think that your sprog would believe you?"
>Faster than you thought possible for a girl her size, Sonata darts forward and grabs your hands in hers.
>They're warm and soft
>She grips you tightly, but not painfully.
>"C'mon, Nonny!" begs Sonata, a desperate look on her face, "You just GOTTA believe me!"
"Believe you?"
>You try to pull your hands away, but once again; tiny freakishly strong arms.
"What do you mean, believe you? That you're a magic creature from legend? That I have 'siren blood' in me? That you and your friends here are effectively ageless?"
>All three girls are staring silently at you now.
>Sonata looks over at her friends and then back to you.
>"Y-Yes?"
>God dammit.
>You try and pull your hands away again.
>"Hey, Anonymous?"
>The purple grump doesn't even bother looking away from her book when she speaks to you.
>"Have you ever noticed the way people just seem to gravitate to you? Even though you seem to me like you're a socially-retarded turd-"
>"Aria!" hisses Sonata, looking offended
>"-you've probably gotten the lion's share of attention in school."
>She isn't wrong. People back in high school used to describe you as being really easy to get along with.
>People you hadn't spoken to in weeks would greet you with a big smile and a pat on the back.
>It was so unsettling and wide-spread that you used to think that they were making fun of you or something.
>Aria finally looks up at you, and her gaze is intense; you can't look away.
>"Haven't you seen it? People who just seem to like you for no reason, or people who notice right away when you enter the room? Have you ever given some kind of bullshit, half-assed class speech and had everyone eating out of your hand?"
>You were the valedictorian at graduation, and it was up to you to give a speech. By the way the crowd reacted to it, you would have thought that you had just told the something life-changing. 
>Aria must see some sliver of realization on your face, because she smirks victoriously.
>"You'd probably be the most popular kid in school if you had any actual social graces. Siren powers can only get you so far, even if you ARE related to someone as powerful as we are."
>This sounds like she's describing some dumb self-insert OC from a terrible fanfiction.
>Adagio looks excited and puts down her drink, plonking it onto your coffee table with a bit more force than she probably needed to.
>"How do you think we even found you, Anon?  Sonata, Aria, and I have had a bunch of kids over the years; way before there were computers to keep track of names and easily back in the day when these records were kept in buildings that were just BEGGING to catch on fire with the way they were built."
>>She gestures around the room wildly, aiming her arms in the general direction of the musical instruments you have leaning up against a wall.
>"Every creature with siren blood in them emits a kind of magical energy when they play an instrument or when they sing.  You still play, right?"
>Aria sniffs loudly and nudges Adagio.
>"He bought these things, genius; instruments are expensive.  No shit he plays."
>Adagio sends a withering glare to her friend, who just smirks back.
>[spoiler]mom and dad stop fighting[/spoiler]
>"Anonymous, we used to sing all the time; we know all about this stuff.  Once we started listening for other sirens, we found y-"
"Again; bullshit."
>Adagio slumps forward and slams her forehead onto the table.
"Why didn't I ever feel some kind of magical radar signal coming fr-let go already."
>You shake your hands free from Sonata's grip; she leans back into the couch, looking sullen.
"Why didn't I ever feel... all that shit you just described if you used to sing all the time?"
>Adagio lifts her head to speak, but Aria beats her to it.
>"That's because you've got shit for blood, you half-breed."
>Hey, wow.
>Rude.
>Surprisingly enough, Sonata jumps to her feet, looking furious.
>"Shut up, Aria!  At least MY grandkid isn't a dirty litt-"
>Aria drops her book and looks up at Sonata, a shocked and panicked expression on her face.
>"Okay, alright!  Jesus, fine!  I'm sorry!"
>Sonata turns to you and takes up from where Aria left off.
>"You can't really tell, Anon, because you aren't a full siren like we are.  We would have been too far away for you to hear us."
>Adagio stands up.
>"That gives me an idea," she says, grabbing her friends by the hand and tugging them a few feet away, "maybe if we sing, he'll-"
>"Naw, we lost our gems," grumbles Aria, glaring balefully at Sonata, "Besides, his blood's too weak."
>Sonata glares right back at her.
>"His blood is just fine, thank you VERY much.  Maybe it'll work if all three of us try 'cause we're right here in front of him."
>What happens next shakes you to your core.
>The three of them start singing in harmony; no song, no lyrics... just singing.
>It feels like you're standing in a roaring thunderstorm, being buffeted by rain and wind that hits you in waves.
>The girls' appearance seem to shimmer and glow, teasing you with ghost-images of wings and fins.
>For a split second, you're sure that you can smell the ocean.
>It all stops just as quickly as it comes when the three girls stop singing, and you're left standing there with your mouth gaping wide open.
>Sonata breaks the silence by nudging Aria.
>"See, Aria?" she asks smugly, "I told you nothing was wrong with his blood."

-----------------------------------------------------------------

>You are Anon, and it is several hours later.
>You're all gathered around your coffee table again, each of you nursing cooling mugs of coffee.
>After you recovered from your... experience with siren magic, you and the girls sat down to have an actual serious conversation.
>The first time around, you were just humouring them; mostly because you were worried about what they would do if you kicked them out.
>The second time around?
>Brother, shit got real.
>The first two or three hours were spent telling you about themselves.
>They came from a world called "Equestria", where a bunch of ugly, uppity horse bastards rule with "an iron hoof"; banishing their enemies to celestial bodies and waging wars against unsuspecting nations.
>...at least, that's the way they put it.
>While in Equestria, they were the three most beautiful and powerful sirens that dared to make their home in the oceans, whose bravery was unmatched and their territory vast.
>Again; their words, not yours.
>A hairy old wizard banished them because their singing voices were disrupting the power of "harmony", which was something that the horses had absolute control over and allowed them to stay in power for hundreds and hundreds of years.
>It was around this time that you learned your new friends were well over 1000 years old.
>"Friends".
>You mean "relatives".
>Turns out that Sonata wasn't lying when she said that she was your great-grandmother.
>She doesn't have the papers to back it up, but that crazy light show back there is enough for you to believe a lot of things these sirens say.
>After you discussed their history in Equestria, you all began talking about their future and what place you have in it.

>"Anonymous."
>Aria stands up from her position on the couch, forcing Adagio to lean up against Sonata's shoulder to avoid falling onto the cushion Aria just occupied.
>The purple siren walks around the coffee table and kneels down in front of your chair, reaching out and cupping your cheeks with both hands.
>"I need you to listen very carefully, alright?"
>You nod.
>"Because I'm going to ask you a very important question." she continues.
>Again, you nod.
>Silence reigns for five long seconds while Aria gives you the most intense look of your life.
>"Can we crash here for a while?"
>What?
"Wh-is that it?"
>Aria squishes your cheeks together and glares at you.
>"What do you mean, is that it?" she growls, "Just because we're immortal doesn't mean that we want to sleep out in the streets."
>The purple girl stands back up and walks over to the side of your chair so that she can smack you upside the head.
"Ow! Hey!"
>"Stop hitting my grandson!" cries Sonata, looking and sounding outraged and exasperated.
>Aria just snorts and roughly tussels your hair.
>"He might be my grandson as well," she says, "And I won't accept the closest thing we've got to a male siren acting like an idiot."
>Sonata huffs and pushes herself back into the sofa cushion, crossing her arms and pouting.
>"That doesn't mean you can just hit him..." she grumbles, prompting Adagio to rub her arm comfortingly.
"Wait, wait," you say, waving your hand in front of Aria's face to grab her attention, "What do you mean, I might be your grandson too?"
>"Sonata and I are sisters, aren't we?" replies Aria, "and you're Sonata's great-grandson."
>You give her an unimpressed look.
"That would make you my great-grandaunt."
>Aria shrugs and walks away, heading in the direction of your kitchen.
>"Close enough!" she shouts over her shoulder.
>"Actually, Anon," says Adagio, rolling her eyes at Aria, "Back there when we sang for you, you had a much stronger reaction than we thought you would for someone with so little siren blood in you."
>She places a friendly hand on Sonata's shoulder, prompting the blue girl to smile and stop pouting.

>"Sirens attract sirens, and we're starting to think that some of my kids or Aria's offspring made babies with Sonata's kids."
>That makes you stop and think.
>They're sisters, right?
>Blood-sisters?
>If sirens attract sirens, and you have more siren blood in you than you would have if your only siren relative was Sonata, that would mean...
>Oh, ew!
"Th-that sounds... horribly incestuous..." you choke out, unable to decide if you should be sickened or aroused.
>[spoiler]whynotboth.beaner[/spoiler]
>Sonata tilts her head like a curious puppy.
>"I guess. You seem kinda grossed out, Nonny. What's wrong with that?"
"What's wrong with incest?" you ask, incredulous.
>Your great-grandmother just nods.
>This isn't exactly a conversation you want to have.
>Luckily for you, Adagio takes over for you.
>"Sonata, honey," she coos, "Humans think that making babies with their family is weird and gross, remember? It's not like back home."
>That's a lot more informative and a lot more kindly than how you would have put it.
>Sonata's face crumples into a look of contempt.
>It's an expression you never thought she was capable of making.
>From the short time you've known the girls, you feel like you're starting to get a bit of a feel for their personalities, and Sonata seems like the last siren to express something so negative.
>"Wow, really?" Sonata asks, sounding like she doesn't believe her sister, "That's dumb."
>Sonata gestures to you.
>"I mean, Nonny here's got lotsa siren blood in him, right? A bunch of our kids made babies together and he's just fine."
>She smiles brightly at you.
>"Right, Nonny?"
>Oh, god, are you?
>You've never had to think about this before.
>Y-you're normal, right?
>Is there some way for you to check?
>Have you been retarded this entire time, but you were too retarded to know?!

>Adagio saves you, thankfully.
>"Of course he's fine, Sonata," she says, rubbing your great-grandmother's arm, "Sirens are strong."
"Speaking of sirens..."
>...just how 'siren' are you, anyway?
"Uh, girls?" you ask, feeling a bit of dread pooling in your gut, "How much siren blood do you think I have in me? If I'm not one-eighth siren, then what am I? A quarter?"
>Aria walks back into the room with an open bag of chips in her hand.
>"A quarter," Aria says, spraying your carpet with half-chewed chip crumbs, "Two-fifths... maybe even one-half if our little cunt-parasites kept it aallll in the family."
>Your heart simultaneously skips a beat and leaps up into your throat.
>You're the product of generations of incest.
>It's like a eugenics program, only shit.
>"He's as close to a male siren as we're going to get." concludes Aria, oblivious to your discomfort
>That plus the revelation that you might not even really human hits you like a punch to the gut.
>"Did you hear that, Nonny?!" cheers Sonata, leaping out of her seat (and causing Adagio to tumble onto the warm, unoccupied cushion this time) and running over to embrace you.
>She crawls into your lap and pulls your head against her chest.
>"You might be as high as half-siren!" she cries happily, wriggling against you, "Forget your dumb, stupid human laws; you're one of us!"
>You grab Sonata with shaking hands and try to push her off of you, but these metaphorical one-two punches are making you feel weak.
"S-Sonata?"
>Sonata just hugs you tighter, trapping your face in her boob-prison.
>"That's 'grandma' to you, mister." she says with a laugh.
>You glance down at your mugs of cold coffee. [spoiler]You can only see out of one eye because the other one is being pressed firmly against one of Sonata's tits.[/spoiler]
>...you're going to need something a lot stronger than those.

------------------------------------------

>You are Anon, and you are at the liquor store.
>You said that you needed something strong to deal with all this bullshit, and you meant it.
>The girls came with you because getting drunk with their grandkid sounded like a good time to them.
>You skip the beer section (oh, who are you kidding; you skip the vodka cooler section) and go straight for the spirits.
>Walking down the long aisle, you focus on what you want to get.
>Rum...
>"Anonymous?"
>Vodka...
>"Anonymous."
>Whiskey...
>"Ano-oh, for fuck's sake..."
>SMACK
"Ow!"
>You whip around to face your assailant and glare at a grumpy-looking Aria.
"Do you not know how to talk to someone without hitting them first?"
>You point a finger at Aria.
"You do that again, you're gonna get-"
>A blue hand comes out of nowhere and smacks Aria upside the head.
>You feel a vindictive thrill at the grump finally getting what was coming to her.
"...smacked." you finish, a smile growing on you lips
>"What did I say?" hisses Sonata, glaring at Aria and bearing her (surprisingly sharp) teeth.
>How many teeth does that girl have?
>There are at least 3 times too many sharp canine teeth in that girl's maw.
>Sonata turns to face you and smiles indulgently.
>"Pick whatever you want, sweetie," she coos, "I'll buy it for you."
>Eugh.
"Sonata... you're getting way too into this 'grandmother' thing."
>Sonata waves a hand dismissively at you.
>"Nonsense, Nonny," she purrs, leaning forward and presenting one of her cheeks to you, "Now give grandma a kiss."
>You roll your eyes and take a step backwards.
"Oh, fuck off."
>Sonata "harumph"s and crosses her arms, pouting.
>"That's no way to speak to your grandmother, Nonny."
>You just shake your head and look back at the racks of alcohol.
>You cannot put into words just how uncomfortable you feel that a 16-year-old girl is doting over you like a little old lady.
>She's your great-grandmother, sure, but try telling that to your erection.
>More importantly, try telling that to the store employees, who are already looking at you and your group of seemingly-underage girls.
>You had better not go to jail for letting them buy you liq-wait.
"Since when do you have money?" you hiss, trying not to draw any more attention to you than you already are, "I thought you were staying at my place because you were broke."
>"Broke?!" barks Aria, breaking out into laughter, "Anon, we aren't broke!"
>Aria wipes a tear from her eye and grabs two bottles from the shelf at random, not even looking at what she snatched up.
>"Homeless, maybe, but not broke."
>Adagio walks over to you with two bottles of vodka in her hands; she nods to Sonata, who wanders off into the heart of the liquor store in search for something to drink.
>"How do you think we survived for a thousand years, kiddo?"
>You feel panic grip your heart at her words; why would she admit that in a crowded store?!
"Shh!" you hiss, speaking in a whisper-shout, "Do you want to get caught?!"
>Aria rolls her eyes.
>"How do you think we survived for a thousand years, idiot?" she asks, nearly mirroring Adagio.
>That's the sort of pet name every grandchild wishes for their grandma or aunt to call them.
>"Who in their right minds would believe that we're over a thousand years old?"
>...dammit, she's right.
>Adagio nudges you with her elbow, careful not to accidentally drop the vodka she's holding.
>"We can talk more when we get home, okay?"
>Without warning, Sonata comes jogging into view with three big cardboard boxes in hand.
>"Girls, look!" she shouts, "Vodka coolers! Since when do they sell pre-mixed drinks?!"
>Adagio looks at the impressive hoard of shitty drinks with a worried frown.
>The tinkling of glass-on-glass from inside the boxes and the way Sonata's tower of booze is swaying seems to make the orange girl rather nervous.
>"H-How many vo-"
>Sonata interrupts with a happy chirp.
>"All of them!"

---------------------

"Right, right."
>You are Anon, and you've made it back from the liquor store.
>You're all sitting around your coffee table, and the girls have claimed their usual seats.
>They get the big three-person sofa (Adagio on the left, Aria in the middle, and Sonata closest to you on the right), and you get the equally-comfy one-person recliner.
>You've got all your shit from the store sitting on the floor, because you're going to want to make some dinner and get some food into your stomach before you try and drink your problems away.
"So what's the deal? Why did you come here to find me; other than needing a place to stay?"
>"I'm not gonna lie to you, Anon," Adagio says, leaning back into the sofa, "There wasn't much more to it than that."
>Oh, good.
>You were worried for a moment that you were important, or something.
>"If any of our other offspring - or our offspring's offspring - had agreed to take us in, we'd be there right now instead of sitting on your couch and getting drunk."
>Getting drunk?
>It's like 3 in the afterno-
>The sound of swishing off to your side draws your attention; over to your left, Aria has opened one of her bottles and just took a big swig of it.
>Brilliant.
>You know what?
>Sure.
>Whatever.
>Let's get drunk.
>You reach into your tall paper bag and pull out your purchase, feeling regret that you forgot to buy something to mix it with.
>It won't stop you from drinking directly from the tap, but it's there.
>"But!" Adagio interjects after patiently waiting for you to take a sip, "Since you were so kind and agreed to take us in-
"All you did was go into my home and refuse to leave when I told you to."
>-SO KIND," repeats Adagio loudly, speaking over you, "We're going to reward you."
>You glance over at the other two sirens and watch as they look at each other and smirk.
>Sonata sends you a big, dumb wink that makes you feel uncomfortable.
>"We're gonna buy a place to live and you're gonna live with us," Adagio continues, "And yo-"
"Bullshit."
>You really like the way getting a lot of mileage out of that word.
"Do you have any idea how much a house costs?"
>Adagio grosses her arms and frowns at you.
>"Do you?"
>Uh...
>Shit.
>She's got you there.
>Adagio giggles at your frustration (you must have pulled some kind of face at her) and unscrews one of her own bottles of liquor.
"Like I was trying to tell you in the liquor store," she begins, "My sisters and I have gotten pretty good at playing the stock exchange."
>Aria decides to chime in.
>Impressively, she's already about a quarter of the way through her bottle.
>Jesus, Aria.
>"We also invest in a bunch of different companies."
>"I'm good a-EHURRK-" Sonata coughs and chokes, nearly dropping her half-empty vodka cooler.
>"Swallow first, dummy," chides Aria, pounding her sister on the back.
>"I'm -ahem!- I'm good at math!" says Sonata, finally, "So I get to balance all kinds of numbers!"
>Sonata smiles brightly at you and rocks back and forth a little bit, looking very excited to show off her abilities.
>Aria tucks the bottle between her legs and holds it tightly in place with her thighs.
>wew, lad
>"Basically?" drawls the purple girl as she grabs her sisters around the shoulders and pulls them in close, "We're the richest bitches you'll ever meet."
>Snizzity-snap.
"And you want me to live with you?"
>Adagio opens her mouth to speak, but Sonata beats her to it.
>"Yup!" she chirps, bouncing up and down on her seat, "We're gonna have a big house, and we're all gonna live together, and we're gonna be happy-"
>Aww.
>This is actually kinda sweet.
>"-and we're all gonna sleep in one huge bed-"
>Wait, what?
"I'm sorry?"
>"-and we're gonna make lots and lots of little siren babies-"
>You're gonna WHAT?!
>This is less sweet.
>You point an accusing finger at Sonata, who is too far gone in her imaginary world to notice your distress.
>...or her sister's amusement at your response, for that matter.
"Wait, wait, wait! Go back! I didn't agree to any of that!"
>Your mind unintentionally replays the scene from a little while earlier where Sonata didn't get why incest was weird
>Despite yourself, Sonata's plans for you are giving you the weirdest erection you've ever had in your life.
>"-and we're all gonna love each other, and we'll be happy forever!"
>Sonata finally - FINALLY - ends her rambling
>She stares right into your eyes
>...
>Neither of Sonata's sisters say anything
"Wh-why did Sonata say that we're making babies?"
>Aria and Adagio look at each other, and then back to you.
>They each simultaneously grin at you, displaying their way-too-fucking-many sharp teeth
"Girls?"
>Sonata (after a couple of nudges from Aria) starts grinning at you too; her smile, however, is much more innocent than Aria and Adagio's predatory grins
"Girls?" you repeat, your voice one octave higher; still no response.
>You turn to Sonata in desperation.
"G-Grandma?"
>"Lots and lots of siren babies, Nonny," repeats Sonata.
>...
>Oh, okay, you get it now.
>They're just fucking with you and you fell for it because you're a huge chump.
>...right?

-------------------------------------

>Be Anon.
>Be several hours later.
>Be kinda drunk.
>...be actually pretty drunk.
>It's gonna be real hard to explain to your landlord why you've got three drunk teenagers in your apartment.
>You express this to the girls and Adagio shoves her hand into your face and makes "shhh" noises at you.
>"Don' you worry, Anon," slurs Adagio, leaning heavily into your shoulder and patting you clumsily on the cheek, "We got this covered."
"Do you?" you ask doubtfully, "Do you really?"
>"Uh-huh! S'takes a lil' while to buy a house, y'know?" she says, pressing her face right up to your ear; presumably so that you can hear her better
>...you don't know why, but she's started whispering.
>"W-We... we're gonna get a real nice house faaaaarrr-"
>Adagio waves her glass-filled hand around, spraying ice-cold drink everywhere.
>But hey; you guess you're going to live in a new house soon, so fuck these carpets, right?
>"-away where no-one can find us. An'..."
>Adagio collapses against you and starts poking you in the chest with each "an'" she says.
>"An'... an'.... an' then... An' then we're gonna... w-we're gonna..."
>...this girl is taking you for a wild ride.
>Adagio goes to take a sip from her glass only to discover it empty; she'd been rather enthusiastic with her gesturing.
>"...fuck."
>She looks so disappointed and sounds so sad.
>Sonata claps the palms of her hands to her cheeks dramatically.
>"We're gonna fuck?!"
>Sonata looks between you, Aria, and Adagio with an expression of child-like glee on her face.
>"Oh, boy!"
>Adagio puts her glass down on the couch and wraps her arms around your neck.
>"Fuckin' just... jus' lemme..."
>She tries climbing into your lap, but she doesn't seem to have the coordination.
>"C-Celes'ia... fucking dammit... Stop bein' so... so..."
>Okay, this is actually pretty funny; well, it is now that you've got a few drinks in you, anyway.

>"Anonymous!"
>Aria stands up, wobbles, and then slowly lurches over to you with all the grace and poise of an oiled gazelle.
>She stops in front of you, reaches forward with wobbling hands, and cups your cheeks tightly to make sure that you can't look away from her.
>"I have another question for you."
>Aria's amazingly coherent considering how much she's had to drink.
"Mhr-hrr?" you grunt as best you can through your smooshed cheeks.
>You drool a little bit onto Aria's hand, but she either doesn't notice or doesn't care.
>"It's less of a question and more of a request."
>She puts that stuff away like it's water.
>"I need you to fuck us."
>[spoiler]Grandma, why?[/spoiler]
>Aria's face takes on a bit of a red tinge.
>"R-Right now."
>You grab Aria's wrists and try to tug them away from your face, but you cannot budge them.
>You keep forgetting about how freakishly strong they are.
>"Well? Will you?"
"Hng-got unna fhrhhhk'oo."
>Aria narrows her eyes and brings her face closer towards you threateningly.
>"What did you just fucking say to me?" she hisses dangerously
>"Aria," sighs Sonata, pulling her sister off of you, "Let my lil' darling speak."
>After twisting your tongue around your mouth and making sure that you don't taste blood, you address the two sirens.
"N-"
>It takes a second for your slightly drunk mind to realize that you're being kissed.
>Your vision is full of purple and your mouth is full of someone else's tongue.
>Presumably the one attached to the face you're staring at.
>Aria pulls away with a loud, sloppy "Mwah!"
>I quick glance off to Sonata shows her staring at her red-faced sister in shock.
>You don't know if it was the liquor, the kiss, or both, but Aria's face is bright red.
>Meanwhile, Adagio is mumbling something into your ear again.
>"I said," growls Aria, cupping your cheeks again, "I need you to fuck us."
>...
>You look at Aria; Aria looks back at you.
>You look at Sonata; Sonata nods excitedly.
>You look at Adagio; Adagio drools on your neck.
>Welp, it's three against one and majority rules.
>You figure you can justify this by not exactly being in the best state of mind to be making good decisions.
>What happens next is sober-you's problem.
"Okie dokie."
>Get on your fucking level, Casanova.

--------------------------------------------------------

"Urrgh..."
>You are...
>oh god
>Extremely
>EXTREMELY
>Hungover.
>Your head is killing you and your stomach is threatening to revolt against the monarchy.
>You keep your eyes shut, knowing that once you open them the day will begin and you'll have to face whatever happened last night.
>EVERYTHING.
>From the headache to the nausea; to the inappropriate texts you probably sent; to the online purchase you might have made; to the... whatever you did with the three seemingly-underage girls who have been living with you for about two days.
>Three days?
>What time is it?
>Your living room is probably a mess, which means you'll have to clean that up.
>You feel like shit already, and now you have to power through it if you don't want your carpet to smell like booze for the rest of its life.
>The less said about your stomach, the better.
>It's rolling up and down and up and down and oh god, why does it feel like you're moving?
>You crack open an eye and are met with a sight that sends tingles through your loins and a worrying clenching in your stomach.
>Aria, your great-grandaunt, is sitting on your lap; ass-naked.
>She's rolling her hips back and forth, and that movement is what's contributing to your inevitable vomit-explosion.
>Her breasts (which you admit aren't as small as you had spitefully labeled them after they invaded your home) jerk in movement a whole half-step out of time with the rest of her body.
>Those dark-purple nipples could cut glass, boy.
>Aria eyes you with a heavy-lidded expression, but you aren't sure if it's from the sex or the daylight that's streaming into a room full of four individuals who are recovering from a drinking bender.
>Her skin is glistening with sweat (and other fluids); you can practically taste her musky scent from here.
>"L-Look who's f-finally awake..."
>Aria leans forward, bracing herself on your balled-up bedsheets.

>When she balances herself (she still looks a little bit drunk), Aria plants her damp palm on your cheek and gives you a clumsy light slap to the cheek.
>Somehow, it manages to convey with it a sense of fondness rather than a desire to hurt.
>...Or at least you THINK it's fond, given her history for hitting you a lot harder.
>"Sle-sleeping beauty, huh?"
>Aria lets out a little breathy laugh and rubs your face, tiredly dragging her hand down your neck and caressing your chest.
>Your hungover (and quite frankly, still kinda drunk) brain finally starts chugging, and you become aware that you are naked.
>You decide to get some answers out of the girl; such as why you are having sex.
"Wh-What are..."
>"What am I doing?"
>Bingo, buck-a-roo.
>Aria rolls her eyes and wipes the tangled, sweaty mass of purple-and-mint hair from her eyes.
>"T-take a wild guess, genius. Th-those two idiots over there-"
>She points off to the side where Adagio and Sonata lay draped over the side of the bed, faces pressed against the hard floor and having either passed out in that position or else rolled over in their sleep.
>[spoiler]They're probably fine.[/spoiler]
>"-think they w-want more sirens. And you know what?"
>Aria shrugs her shoulders and nearly topples off of you.
>"Why not? I've s-shoved a couple of little wrinkly brats out over the years, so I have n-no problems with the idea."
>Her matted hair tumbles down in front of her face, and Aria takes a few seconds to properly throw her hair over her shoulder.
>"And who wouldn't want a bunch of charismatic immortals who are loyal only to your family?
>Your hands (which had meandered over to her ass while you weren't paying attention to them) squeeze as shock washes over you.
>The way Aria moans from deep down in her chest almost makes it worth how you're beginning to question your mortality.
"I-Immortals?" you gasp, kneading the purple girl's firm ass, "What d-do you mean, immortals?!"

>What does she mean by immortals?
>Maybe it's the hangover; maybe it's the shock of what appears to be a 16-year-old girl bouncing up and down on your cock...
>[spoiler]unf[/spoiler]
>...but the very first thing to pop into your head is "Highlander".
>So, are YOU immortal?
>Does more siren equal more immortality, much like how more organs equals more human?
>Aria's sits back upright and transfers her hands from the sides of your head to your chest and shoulders.
>"Ooh!" gasps Aria, "You're twitching inside of me~"
>...
>You know what? You'll tackle his existential crisis at a time when you're not hungover and your teenage great-grandaunt is no longer trying to milk your cock dry.
>Aria leans forward once more and plants her hands on either sides of your head and leans in close.
>"But they think that they're gonna be the first to give birth to someone with the most siren blood in them since us."
>She shifts her weight onto one arm so that she can use her other to flick you on the forehead.
>"Half-siren plus whole siren equals three-quarters siren."
>She lowers herself even further so that she can shift her arms and rest on her elbows.
>She grins at you, stretching her lips and deliberately giving you a look at her too-fucking-many long, pointy teeth.
>"And I've got myself a pretty little half-siren right here."
>Whether it's the hangover or the sheer strangeness of the situation, you don't even notice your impending orgasm before it hits you like a freight train.
>You tighten your grip on Aria's ass and, acting on instinct, drive yourself as deep as you can inside her.
>Aria herself collapses onto your chest and rests her head on your shoulder.
>White-hot pleasure floods your mind, helped along by the erotic quiet gasps that Aria is breathing into your ear.
>Strength leaves your body and you lay sprawled-out on your bed, breathing hard and twitching from the aftershocks of your orgasm.

>"Welp," groans Aria, lifting herself off of you inelegantly, un-impaling herself and crawling off of the bed, "that's done."
>She sniffles and rubs her nose with the back of one of her hands, turning to look at you over her shoulder.
>"I'll let you know if this one takes, hot stuff."
>She starts to make her way to the door, but stops in front of the other sirens.
>She nudges Adagio with a toe, making her head nod back and forth.
>"Call me when these two wake up. I want to be able to brag properly that I got knocked up first."
>Aria stops at the door frame just before she exits the room, and she turns to you.
>"Was it good for you too, baby?" she asks smugly (and most likely sarcastically).
>You respond by rolling over, sticking your head off over the edge of the bed, and being violently ill all over the floor.
>Looks like all that early-morning post-bender excitement finally caught up with your stomach.
>"Ew," says Aria, wrinkling her nose at the acrid smell, "Surely I wasn't THAT bad?"

-----------------------------------------------

>"Sonata, get off of him."
>You are Anon, and you are laying, face-down, on your great-grandmother's chest.
>You WERE lying on the living room couch all by yourself, and you felt perfectly content with stewing in your own post-night-of-debauchery misery.
>That is, until Sonata came along and crawled underneath you so that she could share the scent of vomit and regret you surely carry.
>You can't overstate just how stronk these former sea-monsters are.
>You spot Adagio approaching out of the corner of your left eye; your right eye is stuck closed, trapped in Sonata's boob prison along with the entire right side of your face.
>Sonata shakes her head 'no', rubbing her cheek against the top of your mop of hair right where she had been resting it.
>"Nuh-uh, 'Dagi! Nonny's sick and he needs his grandma!"
>Adagio breathes a long-suffering sigh and pinches the bridge of her nose.
>"No, Sonata, he isn't sick," she explains patiently (if crossly), "He's hungover thanks to the ungodly amount of alcohol he drank last night."
>Adagio clearly has never had a hangover before; none of the sirens have if their being up-and-about this morning means anything.
>Those lucky bitches will never know the pleasure of what boils down to a 24-hour flu from drinking too much.
"Nooo..." you warble, "I can be both..."
>Sonata wraps her arms tighter around your back and hugs you with vigor.
>"See?!"
>Sonata kisses the top of your head and pats your back in a comforting gesture.
>Adagio sighs and rolls her eyes.
>"Look, just... We did some groceries this morning, Anon, so you should be able to find something to eat."
>You moan pitifully in what you hope will be interpreted as a 'thank you' as Adagio turns her back and walks out of the room to parts unknown.
>"Don't you worry about 'Dagi, Nonny," coos Sonata, planting kisses all over the top of your head, "I'll keep you safe from her and mean ol' nasty Aria, okay?"
>Fucking Aria.
>That works both as an emotional reflection AND an accurate description of what went down.
>She'd mounted you at some point during the night and rode you until you came inside.
>She wasn't fucking around when she said that she wanted more sirens.
>After you cleaned up your vomit and finally left your bedroom, Aria was WAITING for you, and she was nothing short of relentless.
>The way she rubbed her belly would have looked downright maternal if not for that smug smirk on her face.
>She wasn't so smug when your hangover came back with a vengeance and you threw up all over her shoes.
>If it's the last thing you do, you're going to start fucking these sirens just so that you can spitefully impregnate Aria last.

------------------------------

~~Later~~
>"Open wide~"
>You glare at the approaching spoon of steaming tomato soup.
>At least Sonata had stopped making "choo-choo!" noises with her mouth to try and get you to eat.
>You purse your lips and turn your head away like a fussy toddler.
>Sonata's shoulders sag dramatically and she plops the spoon back down into the bowl from whence it came, making fat droplets of soup spray out of the bowl and onto your poor, abused carpet.
>"Nonny, c'mon. Let your old granny help make you feel better."
>Maybe it's just the hangover talking, but you'd felt a lot better with your face in between Sonata's breasts... but you aren't about to tell her that.
>If you do, then she'll probably start going around topless; and if she does that, then the other sirens will start doing it too just so that Sonata doesn't have an "edge" over them.
>...
>Actually...
"I'd fee-HURK"
>FUCK
>Sonata, the tricky bitch, snuck a spoonful of soup into your mouth right as you opened your mouth to speak!
>You reflexively swallow the hot fluid and marvel at its flavour.
>This is the best tomato soup you've ever had.
>Sonata must have seen the look on your face, because her mood immediately does a 180 and a great big smile stretches her face.
>"See, Nonny? Isn't this romantic?"
>Ugh...
>You knew you'd regret saying that.

--------------------

>Be Anon
>Be from the distant year of two hours ago
>Be noticeably more hungover than you will be in two hours from now.
>You are laying on your living-room sofa and trying to ignore the way your carpet still smells like whatever the fuck Adagio had to drink last night.
>Speaking of Adagio and liquor, those two very things are in the room right now.
>Adagio is sitting on your single-person couch in your usual place, drinking down whatever it is she bought yesterday with a mocking look on her face.
>The girl can get drunk as a skunk, but she apparently didn't live for hundreds of years without learning how to deal with an enormous hangover as though it were nothing.
>The sound of your pipes creaking tells you that Aria is probably in the bathroom, washing up after you puked all over her.
>You're going to picture the look of disgust and outrage she had on her face the next time you masturbate.
>Fucking Aria.
>That works both as an emotio-
>"So," drawls Adagio, "I heard you had some fun last night."
>You slowly up an eye (the only one visible from your blanket cocoon you have wrapped around yourself right now) and, wincing at the early-afternoon sunlight, glare at Adagio.
"F-Fuck you."
>Adagio shrugs gracefully and takes a big sip of her drink.
>"Wrong siren, Anon~"
>Your stomach rolls at the sight and you groan miserably, which just makes Adagio laugh.
>"Ah... I remember MY first hangover."
>Adagio somehow manages to sound both nostalgic and condescending at the same time.
>She downs the rest of her drink without any outward indication that she's bothered by the burn of alcohol, and then kneels down next to.
>"You'll be fine, champ," she says, rubbing your shoulder, "Just try not to puke on ME too, okay?"
"No promises, you ass."
>Sonata announces her arrival into your living room with a gasp and the pitter-patter of bare feet on carpet.
>Sonata rushes over to you with her arms outstretched, prepared to sweep you up into a hug, but Adagio grabs her by the collar and holds her back.
>"Easy there, Sonata. He'll be fine in a few hours."
>Sonata doesn't look convinced, but listens to Adagio.
>She hovers around you, anxiously wringing her hands and shooting you concerned looks.
>"C-Can you at least go check on him, Adagio?" whimpers Sonata, "He looks really sick."
>Adagio waves a hand dismissively, turning to glance in your direction.
>"Oh, he does not."
>She squats in front of you, looking at you appraisingly.
>"Huh," she grunts, "You really actually aren't looking so good, Anon."
>You and Adagio ignore Sonata's quiet "Told you so!"
>Adagio stands up and pulls scrap of paper and a pen out of her back pocket, and begins scribbling something down onto it.
>When she's finished writing, she hands the paper to Sonata.
>"Go to the grocery store on Camelback Road and grab these ingredients. Some soup is what Anon's stomach needs right now."
>Sonata looks over the list, nodding vaguely.
>"Nonny has plenty of canned soup in his cupboards."
>"No, it's shit," insists Adagio as she crosses her arms, "It's SHIT. I'll make him something actually edible."
>Sonata rushes out of the room and slams the front door hard enough to make you wince.
>After she's gone, Adagio saunters over to you and sits down on the armrest closest to your head.
"You're really gonna make me soup?"
>Adagio shrugs.
>"I guess. Between me, Aria, and Sonata, I'm the leader. It's the leader's job to make sure that her team isn't, you know..."
>She leans forward and pokes you in the forehead.
>"...dying of alcohol poisoning."
>You grimace in discomfort and almost manage to make it look like a smile; it's the furthest thing away from a frown you've produce all morning, in any case.
"That's almost sweet."
>"Well, don't take too much from it. I shouldn't make life difficult for the man who is letting me and my sisters stay in his house free of charge."
>Of course, that's why she's doing it.
>You produce another grimace, only this time it's on purpose.
"That's not so sweet."
>Adagio scoffs and hops off of the armrest.
>"Don't be such a baby."

>Sonata eventually returns to your apartment with an armload of groceries.
>Adagio retreats to the kitchen without another word, leaving you alone with the blue home-invader.
>Conversation dwindles as Sonata starts alternating between asking you if you feel alright, and shooting anxious glances over towards the kitchen.
"Sonata," you croak, "Quit hovering. Just... sit down, or whatever."
>"B-But 'Dagi will yell at me if I do," says Sonata, anxiously wringing her hands.
>Jesus.
>Adagio wasn't lying about being their leader.
>Then again, you're too hungover to care right now.
"Look, if you get into trouble, just tell Adagio that I made you do it. You standing there is making me feel weird."
>The pleading of her grandson is apparently enough for Sonata, and she trots over to your side.
>"So, did you like last night with Aria?" she blurts out.
>Your mind flashes back to where the purple girl just about raped you.
"No."
>You remember just how tight she was and how good her ass felt when you squeezed it.
"Yes."
>You recall the way she unceremoniously walked away after promising to let you know if "it took".
"No. Why?"
>"Why?" repeats Sonata, sounding incredulous, "Why?!"
>She kneels down next to your laid-out form and wraps her arms around your shoulders, holding you as best she can with your blanket-cocoon getting in her way.
>She's looking you dead in the eye with an expression that would suggest that you just asked her why some guy being nailed to a cross was such a big deal.
>This is, by far, the most intense exchange you've ever had with a grandparent.
>"Nonny, if you get Aria preggers before me, then she'll NEVER let me live it down!"
>Sonata leans in close, booping her nose against yours.
>Holy shit, would you look at those eyes; have they always had slitted pupils?
>"She'll call me the worst," she whimpers, "And I don't WANNA be the worst, Nonny!"
"You... what?"
>Sonata is yanked back courtesy of Adagio and falls onto her bum with a cute squeak. 
>"It's true, you know," says Adagio, stepping over Sonata and sitting down on the sofa next to your feet, "Aria will lord this over us for at least five or six decades."
>She scrunches up her nose and pouts, crossing her arms like a fussy child.
>"She might even use her pregnancy to try and claim the position of leader."
>Still pouting, Adagio glances at you appraisingly.
>"We're going to have to figure out a way to make that hangover go away, Anon. That last thing we want is for Aria to beat us."
[spoiler]>What a thing to tell your children.[/spoiler]
[spoiler]>>"You were conceived because your aunt would have been a smug bitch if her child were born before you were."[/spoiler]
>Holy shit, they were actually serious about wanting children.
>Oh god, you aren't ready!
"Woah, woah, woah. Take a step back, girls. You really want me to... to fuck one of these siren-babies into you?"
>Sonata nods cheerfully; Adagio furrows her brow and mouths "one?".
"You really can't just walk up to your grandson and be all 'guess what Anon, we're gonna make you a father!'."
>Adagio rolls her eyes, clearly not taking this seriously.
>"Well Jesus, Anon, we'll raise them ourselves if it bothers you that much."
>You take a deep breath and try to keep in mind that sirens have no concept of the incest taboo.
>You need to stay grounded for this chat.
"That's not the point."
>Sonata huffs impatiently and crosses her arms, pouting at you something fierce.
>"Don't you wanna have kids some day, Nonny?"
>Ehh...
>You've got those instincts in the back of your mind, screaming at you to procreate... but you don't necessarily WANT to be a father just yet.
"I mean, I guess so," you groan; this is too much excitement for a post-drinking morning, "But I want them with someone I love, not three perfect strangers who spill things on my carpet and don't leave my house when I tell them to."
>Adagio scrunches up her face in distaste.
>"That was a little heavy-handed, Anon."
>Like she has any room to talk.
"Yeah, well, Aria crawled off of me this morning and mentioned offhandedly that she'd tell me if she got pregnant," you shoot back, "There's absolutely nothing subtle about you three."
>Adagio looks contemplative for a few moments, but then nods her head and shrugs.
>"Subtly isn't 'in' this century. You should have seen us when we were spymasters for the king of Ireland."
>Sonata nods rapidly and brings her fists to her chest in excitement.
>"It was so much fun! I seduced and married a Baron in 1190, and we were so happy together."
>Sonata sighs and leans onto Adagio, nearly collapsing as she swoons at the memory.
>"We would go for long walks, talk about politics, and we'd have the most romantic dinners together in front of his fireplace."
>Sonata closes her eyes and smiles, her face practically glowing at the memory of her alleged marriage.
>"We were married for eighteen months before Adagio gave me the orders to poison his wine and make it look as though his heir had done it, so that his estate and connections would go to our King."
>Well, fuck.
>Jesus, these fucking girls.
"That isn't very romantic," you comment dryly.
>Sonata sits back upright and angrily opens her mouth to protest that her pre-murder marriage was VERY romantic (thank you very much), but Adagio elbows her in the side to get her attention first before she can utter a single word.
>Once they're facing each other, she shoots the blue girl a significant look and smirks.
>Sonata looks at her blankly.
>Adagio rolls her eyes and gives her the same look, only more exaggerated.
>Sonata tilts her head in confusion.
>Adagio sighs and rubs her face.
>"Oh, for fu-"
>Adagio grabs the other girl's shoulders and pulls Sonata in close, and then whispers something in her ear.
>Sonata's face lights up and she begins to clap excitedly while staring you dead in the eye.
>You feel a shiver run down your spine; what in the world are they planning for you?
>She and Adagio stand up together and stretch the "I've been sitting down for too long, and also I'm an old man" out of their joints.
>"You want romantic?" asks the orange girl with a devious smile, "We can do romantic."
>The girls march into the kitchen before you can think of anything to say (other than "what" and "wait").
>"By the end of the week," cries Sonata, "You'll be SO in love with all of us, Nonny!"
>You didn't ask for this.

-----------------------------

~Meanwhile, in the present~

>Sonata continues to feed you the surprisingly-delicious soup; you've long since given up the will to fight against them while you're still hungover, so you relax and let her feed you like a baby.
>"Ehh? I used to do this for the Baron all the time. It was SOOOO romantic."
>She leans in close and wipes a drop of soup from your lips with her thumb; slowly, she brings the finger to her lips and licks the soup from it.
>"So, Nonny, are you in love with me yet?"
>Your glare says it all.
> 'are you in love with me yet'
>Fuck you.
>Sonata's shoulders drop and she lets the spoon fall back into the bowl, once again spraying your carpet with soup.
>That poor carpet isn't long for this world.
>With a long-suffering sigh, Sonata's face curls into a pout and she glares at you.
>" 'Dagi is gonna kill me if we can't make you impregnate the two of us before Aria," she mutters, managing to merge a growl and a whine together into something that almost sounds like puppy-noises.
>Still looking cross, she hunches over and crosses her arms under her breasts, unintentionally plumping them up and making them jump slightly.
>You didn't quite mean to look at her breasts, but your eyes are immediately drawn down when they start moving.
>The way your head moves must have drawn Sonata's attention, because she looks at you and quirks her head in curiosity.
>"Hmmm?"
>Sonata frowns in confusion, looking between you and her breasts.
>"Oh."
>She slowly raises her head, smiling at you with a devious smirk on her face.
>"So Nonny," Sonata purrs, nudging her breasts from below and making them dance, "Have you gotten over that dumb human, 'no having sex with family' thing yet?"
>You'll admit that this is pushing it, but there's a big part of you who is still grossed out by Sonata's grandmother-status.
"W-Well..."
>Sonata pulls her arms back and reaches up to her collar, and then slowly begins to undo the buttons on her shirt.
>More and more cleavage is exposed with each released button, showing off her flawless blue skin
>By the time she reaches the fifth button, there's a hint of dark-blue areola peeking out from the sides of the shirt.
>The material over her nipples now has a big, noticable bump in them, and the tiny bit of areola that you can see is beginning to wrinkle.
>When Sonata finally - FINALLY - reaches the bottom of the shirt, she untucks the tails from her skirt and pulls the shirt wide open, letting the edges of her shirt rest on the outside swell of her breasts.
>They.
>Are.
>Magnificant.
>Sonata's tits are big, but not enormous.
>Sagging a bit like larger breasts do, but firm enough to still hold their shape and having enough elasticity to bounce back when they move.
>Her nipples are a dark-blue and are puckering thanks to either the cooler air of your apartment, or Sonata's arousal at exposing herself to you.
>The part of you that isn't bothered that your ancestor is flashing her tiddies at you is making note that Sonata's nipples look perfectly suckable.
>It's the same part of you that noticed how Aria had an amazing ass this morning when she was riding your cock.
>Sonata moves left and right, making her breasts sway and jiggle.
>They swing away from each other, and then meet in the middle of her chest with a barely-audible ~SLAP~ of flesh-against-flesh.
>Your face heats up, and your mouth feels dry despite the soup you've been force-fed for the last fifteen minutes.
"Gr-grandma?" you ask, your voice one whole octave higher than you had intended it to be.
>Sonata smiles and leans in close.
>"Open wide~" she purrs.
>Sonata's breasts move closer and closer to your face, and you're struck with the notion that they'd feel soft and warm on your face.
>...and then the spoon pokes you in the lips, jolting you out of your tit-shock.
>Sonata spends the next fifteen minutes feeding you soup and shoving her breasts in your face.
>Despite your best efforts and most Christian thoughts, you can feel your "I don't want to fuck and impregnate my close relatives" resistance starting to crumble.

----------------------------------------------

>You are Anon
>It's been a few hours since your great-grandma flashed her tiddies and verbally leg-locked you, and you're feeling MUCH much better.
>You've never had a hangover go away this quickly; it MUST have been the soup.
>You don't care if the sirens used their gypsy magic or if Adagio squatted over the pot and masturbated over it.
>You've escaped from the clutches of a hangover in record time, so you're happy.
>You'll have to do something nice for Adagio for this; Sonata too, considering that she was the one who made sure you ate.
>And who showed you her tits.
>That last one counts for something.
>"Oh No-nny~!" calls Sonata in a sing-song voice, "Come to the ki-tchen~!"
>The blue girl had left you alone shortly after she had fed you your soup and went off to wander around the house.
>You don't really know what she did in the meantime, because you fell asleep not too long after she left.
>But now that you're feeling better, you're in a much better mood; there's no harm in throwing off your blanket and seeing what Sonata wants.
>You putter across the carpet (being careful not to step in the stains of various origins) and out of the living room, making way for the doorway that separates the kitchen from the rest of your apartment.
>You stand in the threshold and take in the sounds of utensils hitting bowls and wet things spilling onto hard surfaces, and you hesitate to walk into the kitchen.
>The sound of bare feet on linoleum flooring greets you, as well as the occasional -SPLAT- that leaves a bad feeling in your stomach and makes you start to if you should have gone back to sleep.
>"Baking is romantic, right?" asks Sonata from just out of view.
>A headache begins to make itself known, and you groan out your answer.
"It... CAN be, Sonata."

>You're already picturing splatters of food all over the counters and the walls, and piles of dirty dishes you'll have to help clean up.
>You decide to bite the bullet and take a few steps into the kitchen.
>Sonata's easily the kindest and most easy-going of the sirens, and she's fast becoming your friend, but you're having trouble trusting her absent-minded nature.
>Especially when it comes to things where one has to keep track of more than one thing at once; IE baking.
>It isn't hard to spot your great-grandma.
>But then, your kitchen is small and the girl has an impressive head of blue hair.
>She...
>Whoo.
>Your heart skips a beat and your face warms up in record time.
"W-Wow."
>Sonata whips around when she hears you, and she smiles brightly when she sees your face.
>She's clutching one of your big mixing bowls to her chest, supporting it with one arm.
>You can't help but notice that the batter inside is a very suspiciously-coloured pearly-white.
>A dripping whisk is in Sonata's other hand, and she wastes no time; she thrusts it into the bowl and immediately begins to stir the mixture inside vigorously.
>Batter starts splattering out over the edges of the bowl and gets all over your kitchen floor.
>...but, most importantly, the white goop gets all over Sonata's face and upper-chest, too.
>It looks like a scene straight out of your Japanese animes.
>By now, you've begun to notice what Sonata is wearing; because it sure as shit isn't her usual pink outfit.
>In fact, it's hardly an outfit at all; it's more of a question of what ISN'T she wearing.
>All she's got on is an apron; one that is barely containing her breasts.
"Sonata."
>Sonata's grin widens when she hears your shaky voice, and she takes this opportunity to stick her tongue out and sllooooowwly lick away a bit of batter that landed just above her lip.
>"See, Nonny?" she asks, smacking her lips, "I TOLD you I could be romantic."

>You swallow thickly, completely unprepared for this encounter with a half-naked girl covered in cake-cum.
"Sonata, please."
>Sonata's smile takes on a smug, victorious tilt, and her eyes lower until they're seductively half-lidded.
>"Please... what?" she coos, slowly taking a couple of steps towards you while she shakes her hips, "Please what, Nonny?"
>The collar of the apron stretches across Sonata's ample chest, squishing her tits and making them bulge out around the edges on the sides and the top.
>Since everything from the fabric of the apron to the light-blue flesh of her tits were stretched so taut, this meant that every little movement sint jiggles through the bulging bits of breast that were poking out from the too-small garment.
>Unfortunately, the lower part of the apron was a good deal wider than the chest part of it, meaning that it wrapped around Sonata's rump without exposing a single inch of bare hip or ass.
>However, Sonata's breasts were large enough that the blue girl had needed to hike the apron up just to have enough cloth to cover her chest.
>The end result is that the apron, which was supposed to go down past one's knees, now barely passed the mid-thigh mark.
>Your chest constricts and you honestly can't fight down a quiet, throaty whimper.
>Stupid sexy Grandma.
>As subtly as possible, you shuffle your feet and try to adjust your hardening member so that you don't poke anything solid that will painfully halt your erecting.
"S-Sonata," you croak, "I-"
>Sonata's smile widens and she takes a step forward... only to be intercepted by Adagio.
>You don't know when she got home, but to be fair, Sonata had provided you with a very effective distraction.
>Adagio marches over to Sonata from the back and grabs her bare shoulders, spinning her around to face her and looking her with a mixture of amusement and exasperation.
>"Sonata? Honey?" groans Adagio, "We talked about this."

>Sonata tilts her head to the side like a confused puppy.
>"Yeah, I know. We're supposed to make Nonny love us, right?"
>It's about this time when it finally registers that you've got a bare ass staring you right in the face.
>Your eyes are drawn down to the naked blue backside that Adagio inadvertently presented to you when she turned Sonata around.
>Sonata's ass isn't anything special; especially not compared to Aria's, but it's still a woman's ass and it's almost within grabbing range
>...and it's also your grandmother's behind.
>You feel so conflicted.
>On the one hand, she's related to you; on the other hand, she's nude and in front of you.
>"We are," Adagio says, "but-"
>Butt
>"-But nothing, Adagio!" chirps Sonata.
>Sonata spreads her feet a few inches to brace herself and then starts pushing herself up and down using her toes.
>Scratch what you said; she's nude, she's in front of you, and she's BOUNCING.
>Fuck.
>Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, FUCK.
>You can't keep doing this, man!
>You aren't made of stone, dammit!
>Great-grandmother or not, you swear to God...
>You try and jam your hands into your pockets to help stave off the temptation to squeeze Granny's ass, but your hands are shaking and it takes a couple of tries to get them in there.
>Sonata continues talking, happily oblivious to the effect she's having on you and the state she's left you in.
>"I know we don't have our gems anymore, but we can still do this!"
>Sonata suddenly clutches her hands to her chest and balances on her heels, thrusting her ass backwards and her face forwards.
>You're pretty sure that you just got a sneak-peek at her pussy lips.

>"We've been doing this for a long time, so we've got to have learned a thing or two about seducing guys, right?"
>Sonata grabs Adagio and pulls her into a one-armed hug, rubbing her cheek against her sister's and smearing batter all over the orange siren.
>Adagio looks annoyed, but you can see her face twitching as she fights against a smile.
>"Besides," continues Sonata, "Nonny already likes us."
>With her clutched firmly against her, Sonata turns around and faces you.
>She's got the biggest, dumbest, most sincere smile on her face that you've ever seen.
>"Don't you, Nonny?"
>Now that the two siren's attention is on you, you become aware of what you're doing.
>You've got your hands shoved into your pockets and belatedly realize that one of them is wrapped around your cock.
>Not only that, but you're biting your lower lip so hard that you're surprised you don't taste any blood.
>There's a stinging, rhythmic pounding deep in your sinuses that tells you that you're blushing so hard that you're about to get a nosebleed.
>Sonata glances down at your crotch, and then back up to your face; she looks confused, but pleased.
>Adagio takes in your reaction with raised eyebrows and an impressed expression on her face.
>Wordlessly, she pats Sonata on the back.
>"Yup," says Adagio, popping the 'p' sound, "I'd say he likes us."

--------------------------------------

>"You see, Sonata? THIS is how you do romance."
>You are Anon, and you are decidedly comfy.
>You're sitting on your three-person couch, huddled up under a warm blankets with all the lights off in the room.
>The only illumination is coming from the TV across the room, which is playing some old movie you found in a well-used case.
>Your siren grand-relatives have taken position on either side of you; Sonata is sitting next to you with her feet tucked under her bum, and she seems content to lean against your side and rest her head on your shoulder.
>On your other side, Adagio is fidgeting.
>She pushes her side of the blanket left, and then right, then pushes it down around her waist, and the she huffs and tugs it up around her shoulders.
>With an exasperated sigh, she pulls her part of the blanket up around her waist, exposing her pyjama bottoms and her bare feet.
"You alright there, Adagio?"
>Adagio grunts noncommittally and leans forward to grab the legs of her pyjamas, which she tugs up to expose her legs to the open air.
>" S'too hot," she grumbles, rolling the legs up and bunching them up above her knee, "My legs are getting way too warm."
>The orange girl looks at you unexpectedly, but you aren't quite sure what she wants you to say; 'Sorry'?
"Adagio, it's like 18 degrees."
>She shivers and pulls the thick comforter up around her uncovered shoulders, and then pins the edges of the blanket between her back and the sofa-back behind her.
>"I know!" she moans, "And it's freezing!"
>...
>What does she even WANT?!
>Sonata pokes you in the shoulder and rolls her eyes when you turn to look at her.

>" 'Dagi's always been like this," she explains, giggling into her hand, "Sometimes her legs will get too hot or cold, and the rest of her body will feel the opposite."
>She gestures to her own blanket-covered legs and wriggles her feet.
>"It's like, siren biology doesn't 100% translate to human biology."
>Sonata looks over at her sister and shivers in sympathy at the sight of Adagio half-bundled up under the covers.
>"It prolly has something to do with how we used to be cold-blooded, right?"
>She snuggles into your side and grabs your arm, moving it manually and making it drape over her shoulders.
>"You have no idea how good you have it, Nonny," she mutters into your shoulder.
>You use your free, non-snuggling hand to wrap the blankets a bit tighter around your grandmother's shoulder, making her hum in appreciation.
>"Oh!"
>You look over to see Adagio glancing between you and Sonata with a look of revelation on her face.
>"Hold still, Anon!"
>Adagio throws back the covers and starts shimmying around.
>After a few moments, she ends up lying on her tummy.
>Her feet are dangling off the edge of the armrest furthest from you, and she-woah!
"Woah, hey, Adagio!" you cry as she starts to worm her way head-first under the blankets, "Dinner and a movie first!"
>Adagio doesn't respond, and instead busies herself in trying to maneuver herself under the blankets.
>You freeze when you feel her jam her elbow into your kidneys and sink her fingers around the sides of your kneecap in her quest to pull herself onto your lap.
"A-Adagio!" you grunt in pain.
>What in the world did you do?!
>Sonata looks up at you with clueless surprise from her position on your shoulder.
>"Nonny? What...?"
>She glances down at the shifting blankets on your lap and, after a brief look of realization blossoms on her face, scowls at her comforter-covered sister.
>"Adagio!" she hisses, swatting at her sister's blanket-covered head, "Be more careful!"

>Adagio mutters something, but her voice is too muffled by the blanket for you to hear.
>You choose to believe that it was an apology.
>"Ah!"
>You sigh in relieve when Adagio finally comes to a rest, with her head on your crotch and her arms draped across your thigh.
>Adagio is left with her cold upper-half covered up, and her hot lower-half sticking out of the blankets.
>Finally, the nightmare is over. Now the healing can begin.
>Of course, you aren't that lucky.
>Like a scene from that one space-monster movie you haven't watched in 10 years, an orange arm bursts out from under the blankets in between your legs.
>By the way Adagio's arm dangles and judging by its length and girth (ladies), the entire scene almost makes it appear as though you have a giant orange penis poking out of the comforter and pawing at the blanket around your knees.
>Adagio grabs at the air fruitlessly a few times, and you decide to take pity on the girl; you grab the comforter and tug it towards you, bunching it around your chest and leaving a big gap for Adagio to stick her head through.
>This lets her do all sorts of silly things; like watching the movie with you, or being able to breathe.
"Problems, Adagio?"
>Adagio huffs and starts to slowly kick her legs, bending them at the knee and alternating between raising one and lowering the other.
>"I was fine before you opened up a hole, Anon," she drawls, sending you a playful upside-down glare, "It was nice and warm down there."
>She looks back down at your lap and gently pokes your bulge with a finger.

>"It was just him-"
>She presses down on your hardening member just a tiny bit harder.
>"-and me."
>You blush at the sensation of the siren's hand on your groin and do your best to keep control of yourself.
"E-Easy there, Adagio," you warn, "Keep it in your pants.
>Adagio grins and opens her mouth to speak, but you beat her to it.
"Keep it in MY pants, too."
>The orange girl 'hmph!'s and deflates slightly, removing her hand and resting her head on your lap.
>You tuck the edge of the blanket behind Adagio's head and lower your hand so that it's resting on her side.
>Adagio tenses momentarily, but relaxes immediately after.
>"See, Anon?" she asks, sounding pleased, "We're not so bad; are we?"
>Sonata snuggles into your side, adding to you warmth.
"Yeah," you sigh, "I guess not."
>You're surprised to find that you can't say you hate this.
>Maybe it's that "sirens attract sirens" bullshit magic they told you about.
>Maybe Stockholm Syndrome is hitting you hard after just a few days.
>Maybe it's the way that Grandma 'Nata flashes her tiddies at you, sometimes.
>Maybe it's the fucking amazing soup that Adagio made for you.
>It might even be the way that Aria fuc-
>...
"Where the fuck did Aria go off to?"
>Sonata nuzzles your shoulder and hums gently.
>"Don't worry about her, Nonny," she says sleepily, "Aria's gone away for a week to make sure some of our investments are still profitable."
>She yawns and leans into you just a bit more, trying to find a comfortable position to relax in.
>"S'prolly why she tried to have sex with you so quickly," she mumbles, " 'cuz she wouldn't have a chance to beat 'Dagi and me at getting preggers."
>Your heart skips a beat at the word "preggers".
>Adagio pats your knee from her position on your lap.
>"Don't worry too much about it, Anon," she says dismissively, "If Aria had gotten pregnant, then she'd have phoned us by now to brag."
>She shuffles around and rubs your thigh.
>"Now shut up and watch the movie with us."

--------------------------------

A few days later
>"You!"
>You jump, startled, and turn around.
>Behind you in the street is a girl with red hair, bracing her legs wide and pointing at you dramatically.
"M-Me?"
>"You?" she asks, sounding confused, "Wha-no, not you."
>She's about a foot shorter than you are, making this entire encounter with her a mite bit less intimidating than she probably thought it was.
>Her tiny, high-cut leather jacket stops at around the bottom of her rib-cage, and she looks as though she picked a jacked that was two sizes too small.
>Then again, the sleeves reach all the way down to her wrists, so it could just be some kind of designer jacket.
>Either way, there isn't enough loose material in the back for it to flap dramatically in the wind; instead, it buzzes rapidly like a sleeping dog's ear over a floor vent.
>Underneath her jacket is a simple outfit of teal shirt on top of a yellow, semi-transparent number.
>The both of them are stretched thin and tugged down over her hips, and they almost give the illusion that the girl is wearing a skirt.
>Underneath her shirt-skirt and leather jacket combo is a simple pair of jeans and some black boots.
>You try not to look at the way her body-shape is like, but your eyes are already silently judging her choice in clothing, and clothes can generally be found on one's body.
>This is to say, you can't help but notice the lack of flare around her hips or any kind of swelling on her chest.
>She looks like she's probably still in high school.
>...
>Again?!
>Why do you seem to attract the attention of 16-year-old girls?!
>The redhead blinks in confusion and peers at you as though she only just noticed you.

>The redhead frowns as she examines you, narrowing her eyes suspiciously as she looks you up and down.
>"Who are yo-ugh."
>She rubs her face, eyes closed and grimacing in frustration, and then points at exactly the same place as last time.
>"Them!"
>It takes you a moment to realize that she's pointing over your shoulder.
>...right at the sirens.
>Sonata looks frightened and takes an anxious step backwards, nervously wringing her hands in front of her chest.
>Adagio's expression crumbles into that of grim determination, and she grabs Sonata by the shoulder and pushes the blue girl behind herself.
>Still staring at this new girl, Adagio blindly swings the arm closest to you around, grasping at thin air.
>When her hand comes in contact with you, Adagio grips your jacket tightly and pulls you back with surprising strength.
>Sonata doesn't even respond when you stumble and bump into her, other than to grab onto Adagio's shoulder to keep herself from falling over.
>Nobody moves for a long five seconds.
>Five seconds stretches into ten.
>Ten, to fifteen.
>Sonata relaxes a bit and goes from hiding behind Adagio to peering curiously over her shoulder.
>Adagio's grip on you finally loosens, but she still keeps her arms outstretched.
>Fifteen seconds become twenty seconds.
>Then thirty seconds.
>The redhead's arm is beginning to shake from the effort of being held out straight for so long.
>Sonata's gotten bored and has started to shuffle her feet awkwardly.
>...
"This is stupid."

>Adagio's hand shoots out to grab you when you step around to confront the newcomer, but the unexpectedness of you walking in front of her dulls her reflex and delays the snatch by a whole half-second and allows you to deftly dodge around the appendage.
>"Anon!" she hisses, "Wait!"
>You take a few lazy steps towards the redhead.
"I'm guessing you know each other?"
>Redhead just looks at you as though you were a stupid idiot.
>"No." she deadpans.
>Well fuck you too, little child.
"Sorry," you reply with a glare, "I was trying to think of a polite way to say 'what the fuck is your problem'."
>The redhead's eyes widen, and she looks taken aback by your words.
>She recovers quickly, though, and gestures at you.
>"So, who are you, anyway? Are you their friend?"
>You open your mouth, and then immediately close it.
>You mean, maybe?
>You just met them less than a week ago, and all they've done is ask you to impregnate them and spill their drinks all over your nice carpet.
>Who ARE you to them, anyway?
>Great-grandson
>Snuggle-buddy
>...
>...that's really about it.
>Sonata's pretty friendly, Aria left before you could really connect with her, and Adagio seems to be more or less there to keep the other two from fucking up too badly.
>Shit.
>If they want you to fuck them, does that mean you've bypassed friendship entirely?
>HOW DOES SOCIAL WORK

>Can you be lovers without being friends?
>You must look pretty indecisive, because Adagio and Sonata are starting to look rather offended.
>Sonata in particular looks sadly at you.
"W-Well..."
>Adagio rolls her eyes and takes over.
>"Apparently not," she deadpans, glaring at you.
>She takes a few steps forward, subtly putting herself between you and the new girl.
"Don't worry about him, Sunset," she says casually, waving her hand around dismissively,"He's just some gu-"
>"Nonny!" cries Sonata with a slight whine in her voice, "How could you SAY that?"
>She marches over to you and grabs your hands, cupping them tightly and bringing them to her chest.
>"We're FAMILY!"
>The dead silence that follows Sonata's words is broken by the slap of Adagio's hand on her own face.
>"Celestia... DAMNIT, Sonata," she groans.
>"You're family?"
>The girl - Sunset - looks between you and the two sirens, wrinkling up her nose as she scrutinizes you.
>"Huh," she says, "I can see the resemblance. I never would have noticed unless I knew that I should be looking for it, though."
>She levels you with a piercing glare, and a small part of your mind notes that there has been a lot of intense looks exchanged today.
>"So, where'd you get another siren? I thought there were only three of you."
>"Y-Yeah," stutters Adagio, visibly sweating, "He's our... cousin."
>Without another word, Adagio marches over to you and thrusts her hands onto yours and Sonata's, breaking the blue girl's grip on you.
>"Well, boys and girls," she says hurriedly, forcibly lacing her fingers between yours and Sonata's, "It's time for us to go."
"W-Wait! Who's this gi-"
>Adagio interrupts with a jerk of your arm and a powerful squeeze of your hand.
>"Later, Anon."
"Bu-"
>She turns and shows you her sharp teeth.
>"LATER, Anon!"
>You throw a glance over your shoulder, thoroughly confused.
>Sunset is standing right where you left her, and she's staring you dead in the eyes.
>You've got a bad feeling about this.

-------------------------------------------

>The door to your apartment bursts open and slams against the wall with a loud -BANG- that shakes the dishes in their cupboard all the way in the kitchen.
>You wince at the thought of the doorknob breaking a hole in the wall; not because you care about the apartment, but because your landlord still has his grubby little paws all over your security deposit.
>Sonata looks upset as she watches her sister stomp around angrily, so you reach out and rub one of her shoulders..
>Adagio stomps into the kitchen, too angry to even consider bothering to remove her boots at the door.
>That was one of the rules you had while the sirens were staying with you - no shoes in the house. Mama didn't raise no barbarian.
>Adagio is waiting for you by the time you reach the kitchen.
>She's standing in the middle of the room, facing away from you with her arms crossed.
>Despite her small frame, she manages to look very intimidating.
>You...
>...aren't 100% sure it would be a smart idea to confront the orange girl now.
>Maybe you and Sonata can go do something else until she's cooled dow-
>Sonata places her palm on your chest and pushes you back, maneuvering herself so that she's standing between you and a very pissed-off Adagio.
>" 'Dagi?"
>Oh Goddammit, Sonata.
>This isn't how you wanted to die.
>Adagio spins on her heel and gives you and Sonata the angriest glare you've ever seen.
>"Sonata," she shrieks, "I cannot be-LIEVE you! Of all the stupid things you could have done-"
>Adagio stalks forward menacingly, fists clenched at her side and bared teeth STILL being way too pointy.
>Sonata, ideas of bravery and putting herself between her great-grandson and a hungry lion forgotten, frantically tries to make a backwards retreat and escape her sister's wrath.

>Unfortunately, the linoleum floor of your kitchen doesn't offer very much in the ways of traction against her socks.
>Sonata slips and slides with almost every other kick, which cripples her attempts to put more space between her and Adagio.
>Without much space between her and you to begin with, it doesn't take much time for Sonata to back up into your chest.
>The poor siren nearly jumps out of her skin at the sudden contact with you, and she would have lost her footing if you hadn't reflexively wrapped your arms around her waist.
>Sonata frantically grasps at your wrists, trying not to slip loose.
>As Adagio advances on the two of you, she beings adding exaggerated hand gestures to her tirade.
>"-of all the idiotic things you could have said!"
>You can't help but notice the way that Adagio's boots leave smears of wet mud wherever she steps and send little pebbles dancing across the floor.
>Goddammit, angry Adagio is just the worst.
>First she slams the door into the wall, and now she's making a mess of your floors with her big dumb boots.
>Fuck this.
>If she thinks she can have a tantrum in YOUR goddamn house, then she has another thing coming.
"Easy, easy," you shout, holding one hand out in a placating gesture, "Calm down! Who is this 'Sunset' chick, and why is it bad that she knows we're related?"
>Adagio stops her tirade and stares at you for a few seconds, breathing hard but not saying anything.
>With a groan, she walks over and sits in the nearest kitchen chair, bringing her hands to her head and rubbing small circles into her skull as though your question had given her a headache.
>"It's bad, Anon," she growls, closing her eyes tight, "Because now the last person we wanted to know there was another siren..."
>She opens one eye and glares at Sonata, who squirms uncomfortably in your arms.
>"...knows that there's another siren."

>You furrow your brow, remembering the scene from the liquor store.
>There had been no problem with keeping their identity a secret then; why was there a problem now?
"So?"
>Adagio plants her hands on the table and and makes to stand up, but stops herself half-way through and relaxes back down in her chair.
"I remember you guys telling me that person in their right mind would ever believe you if you told them that you were a bunch of magical sea-monsters from horse-land. What does it fuckin' matter-"
>You make a vague flapping gesture with your free hand (the other one being firmly claimed by Sonata) towards the front door before wrapping it back around your great-grandmother, to her relief.
"-if Jane Doe off the streets knows your secret?"
>Adagio launches to her feet so quickly and so violently that she nearly sends the chair she was sitting on tumbling away.
>"Because that wasn't some Jane Doe, Anon!" she shouts, planting her hands on the table and leaning forward, "That was Sunset Shimmer!"
>That name means literally nothing to you.
"Who?"
>The silence that follows is so all-consuming that you can actually hear your florescent bulbs humming.
>"Who?!"
>The look of outrage you received was amazing.
>It was as though you slapped Adagio right on the vagina.
>"She's... she..."
>The anger seems to drain from Adagio all at once.
>She drags her chair back over from behind her and sits back down, slumping forward onto the table.
>Whatever piss and vinegar that had been spearheading her head of steam is gone now, and the absence of it seems to have left her exhausted.
>"...She's someone... you have no idea who she is."

>Adagio collapses onto your table, arms outstretched and cheek pressed against the faux-wood surface.
>"Anon, Sunset and her friends know about sirens. They know how dangerous we can be if we're in possession of our gems, and now she's suddenly introduced to a siren who wasn't there before. She doesn't KNOW you're our grandkid and that you've ALWAYS been here; she'll just think that Aria, Sonata, and I have found a way to bring more sirens in from Equestria. And if we can bring ONE siren in, we can bring ONE-HUNDRED sirens in."
>Adagio smooshes her cheek against the table.
>"She's probably freaking out right now, trying to figure out how to deal with a mass siren invasion."
>Well, that doesn't sound good for you.
"What in the world would happen if they caught you? What, would they torture you or something?"
>"What?!"
>Adagio launches herself up into a sitting position and stares at you with her mouth gaping open.
>"No! Anon, they're kids! They'd just do that... that friendship laser beam at us in the hopes that it'll undo whatever hypothetical siren-summoning magic we supposedly have."
>She clutches at the necklace - now bare of her gem - that she still wears around her neck.
>"And now that we don't have any Equestrian magic to protect us, I have no idea what that thing'll do to us. It might do nothing; it might make our heads explode. I have no idea what'll happen, and I don't want to take that risk."
>For the first time since you've known her (which is admittedly not a very long time), Adagio looks scared.
>"Anon, my sisters and I have to avoid Sunset and her friends at all costs."
>Adagio slumps forward once more, and her head hits the kitchen table with a dull -thunk-.

>Sonata, whom you were holding against your chest this entire time, pushes your arms away from her and goes over to comfort her sister.
>" 'Dagi? I know I messed up, but it's not that bad."
>Adagio unsticks her cheek from the table and turns to face Sonata.
>"I mean, Sunset and her friends know what we look like, right?"
>Adagio nods against the table.
>"Right..." she mumbles
>"And it was only Sunset who got a look at Nonny, right?"
>Adagio furrows her brow and hums.
>You can almost see the gears in her head turning.
>"Right," she says, sounding a bit less hopeless.
>Sonata smiles and starts to bounce on her toes in excitement.
>"So it's not like her friends know what he looks like or anything, right?"
>A small smile tugs at the corners of Adagio's mouth, and she pulls herself up into a sitting position.
>"Right."
>"None of them know who Nonny is, what he looks like, or where he lives," Sonata chirps, "Or that we're even staying with him! All we gotta do is lay low here until we can leave, and we won't get caught! Right?!"
>Adagio stands up, sending her chair sprawling for real this time.
>"Right!"
>Sonata cheers and pumps her fists.
>"Right!"
>They both turn to you, and Adagio beams.
>"Right, champ?"
>Their smiles falter at the look on your face.
>You must have looked as uncertain as you felt.
>"Ch-champ? We can stay, right?"
>...
>"Anon?"
>This has gone from "my wacky magical grand-relatives live with me and they want my babies", to "my grand-relatives are cartoonish villains who now have a hit on them that a bunch of school children will try to carry out".
>thelaughterstops.png
"C'mon, Dick Dastardly," you say, waving Adagio and Sonata out of the kitchen, "We're gonna go to the living-room to talk. There's a fuck-tonne of backstory you aren't telling me."

-----------------

>You all take your usual places around the coffee table, and then Adagio and Sonata begin to tell you their story.
>And brother, shit got real.
>"It all started about a few months ago..."
>It starts out with a bit of backstory on this 'Sunset Shimmer' girl, who's from Equestria; just like your ancestors are.
>They shot you a pretty dirty look when you asked if Sunset Shimmer was a siren, and insisted that she was "a horse" instead.
>More than that, they told you in greater depth about Equestria; about their home.
>They explained that when an enormous explosion of Equestrian magic had lit up the sky, they knew that this was their chance for power; maybe even to go home.
>"No more having to eat Taco Bell when it's Sonata's turn to make dinner! Just delicious fish, straight from the ocean!"
>Adagio was practically salivating at the thought.
>Sonata just crossed her arms and childishly stuck her tongue out at Adagio.

>"They tried to summon their harmony magic so that they could stop us in the gym and take away our only chance for a smooth getaway."
>A rare vindictive smile makes an appearance on Sonata's face.
>"They stood there, hand-in-hand, and shouted for everyone to hear that we were evil and that they were going to stop us," said Sonata, "Absolutely nothing happened, and it was the funniest thing I'd seen in decades."
>"We were so close, too," continued Adagio, "The Battle of the Bands had been going so poorly for Sunset's friends; from petty disagreements all the way up to sabotage."
>Sonata decided to throw in her two cents right about then.
>"The school didn't like Sunset yet 'cause of what she did before, and everyone assumed the worst when she tackled Rainbow Dash."
>Adagio nodded.
>"The school hated Sunset... The Rainbooms hated each other... Not even that purple loser could make them focus enough to overpower us."
------
>About an hour later, the story is coming to a close and the sirens are finishing up their explanation.
>You managed to squeeze just about every detail you could think of from them; from their magic gems to how they even managed to join a school function if they weren't enrolled in Canterlot High.
"...so they defeated you with the power of music?"
>Adagio covers her face with both hands and smothers a groan.
>"And friendship."
>When you don't say anything for a long few moments, Adagio parts her fingers and peeks out at you with one eye.
>You're giving her a look that says "are you fucking kidding me?", and she knows it.
>"Don't look at me like that!"
>Adagio groans miserably and brings her legs up, keeping her face covered as she curls them against her chest.

>"We would have won right then and there if Sunset hadn't crawled up on stage like a rat out of a street gutter."
>Sonata sighs and leans against Adagio.
>"What did she have that we didn't?" Sonata asks, equally miserable.
>Adagio snorts.
>"A 9-inch cock between her thighs, probably."
>Sonata giggles and elbows her sister.
>"A new one," she adds, "Daily."
>Shots fired.
>You watch as the two sisters have a well-needed giggle m8.
>Adagio is the first to recover, wrapping an arm around her sister's shoulders and pulling her close.
>"...and after that, our gems broke and we couldn't sing any more."
>Couldn't they?
>That phrase tickles the ol' memory banks.
"The first day we met - Aria said that was why she didn't think that singing for me would work."
>"Well... that's only half-right," says Adagio, nodding in confirmation, "We can sing, Anon; we just can't cast spells and use our voices to ensnare humans."
>"Yeah, what 'Dagi said," chirps Sonata, "Since we were using song-magic, those gems were connected to our voices. When they broke, well..."
>Sonata looks like she's struggling to find the word she wants, so Adagio speaks up instead.
>"It felt like my wedding night back in 1307, when I married Thizo 'The Throat-Fucker' Gilis."
>You wince in sympathy, and Adagio nods.
>She pinches part of her throat and starts making raspy, choking noises.

>You sigh and lean back into your chair.
"This is some pretty heavy shit you two are dumping on me."
>You can't believe they actually tried to take over the world.
>How fucked up is that?
>You stand up from your couch and begin pacing, trying to come to a decision.
>Adagio disentangles herself from her sister and stands up, grabbing Sonata by the hands and tugging her into a standing position.
>She and Sonata walk over to you.
>"Look, kiddo," she says, placing both hands on your shoulders, "I promise that this is gonna be worth it. You just gotta trust us."
>You think back to the hugs you got from Sonata.
>The soup that Adagio made when you were hungover.
>The amazing ass that Aria had.
>Grandma 'Nata's tiddies.
>...
>Son of a bitch, FINE.
"...so how soon can Aria make it back home?"
>Sonata looks absolutely tickled pink.
>"We can stay?!"
"Yeah, well..." you grunt, wondering just how quickly this is going to come back and bite you, "...you're family."
>You didn't expect the hugs that came your way, but they were just the thing you needed after a day as long as today.

-----------------------------------

About a week later
>You are Adagio, and you and your sisters are all laying around in your bedroom; AKA Anon's guest bedroom.
>"So why are we doing this, Adagio?"
>And Aria will not shut up.
>You've explained this to Aria plenty of times, but she keeps on asking.
"Because bad shit might happen if we get caught, and Anon's the only one who can go outside."
>"And what do we do now, great leader?"
>Aria makes sure to add a sarcastic inflection on "great leader".
>Just like she always does when she acknowledges your authority.
"We wait until the house humans tell us that we own our new place."
>Aria throws a pillow at you and it hits you in the face.
>"No!  I mean, right now!  Why are we just laying around?"
"Because," you say, trying not to sound annoyed, "we're waiting for Anon to get back home with the groceries."
>Sonata nudges you with her foot to get your attention.
>"Do you think he'll get my Froot Loops?"
"Was it on the list?"
>"Uh-huh."
"Then probably."
>There's a long, blessed silence, then...
>"Adagio?"
"Yes, Aria?"
>"...I'm bored."
>It's like taking care of a bunch of children, you swear to Celestia.
"Look, just..."
>You cover your face with you hands and sigh deeply.
"...tell us about your trip."
>Aria doesn't miss a beat before speaking up.
>"It sucked.  The bankers were dumb, the house humans kept trying to sell me shit we didn't need, and the dildo place-"
>Excuse you?
"The dildo place?"
>Aria sits up and leans against the wall.
>"The dildo place."
>Sonata chooses this moment to throw in her two cents.
>" 'Dagi?  Do WE have a dildo place in the city?"
>You don't even dignify that question with an answer.
>Aria gets to her feet and marches over to that big bag she had brought back with her.
>She reaches in and tugs out a big package.
>After wrestling with the wrapping and the cardboard for a minute, Aria spins around and proudly presents her treasure.
>It's a big package.
>Ba-dum-chss.
>"Check it out!  I had this vibrating son-of-a-bitch custom-made, girls."
>She brings it closer to you, and you give it a curious examination as Sonata scoots forward to see it better.
>"Cost me nearly $800."
>You whistle appreciatively.
"Aria, I know we have tonnes of cash, but do you have to go spending it on things like vibrating dildos?"
>Aria scoffs and sticks her hand back into her bag, pulling out a bottle of lube and a bunch of AA-batteries.
>"It was expensive because I had it gave them some very specific measurements."
>...oh, Celestia, you can see where this is going.
"Aria..."
>Your sister just grins at you.
>"Measurements and a couple of reference photos."
>Dammit.
>Aria describes the various features this thing has (including a 2-year warranty), and you and Sonata "ooh" and "aah" at all the right moments.
>36 vibrating features is pretty impressive, you'll give her that.
>"I swear," says Aria, smiling lovingly at her phallus, "I'm going to have this thing stuffed up my pussy whenever I'm around Anonymous."
>She plays with the wireless remote and nearly drops her vibrator when it starts bucking and kicking in her hand.
"About that, Aria."
>She ignores you in favour of tracing her hand over the ridges and veins.
"We're taking things a little bit more slower with Anon.  I'm not sure he would appreciate it if you teased him like that."
>Aria looks at you as though you just told her that fish-monster-Christmas had been canceled.
>"Wh-what?!" she shrieks, "You mean I wasted nearly $800?!"
>You shrug.
"Guess so, tiger."
>Aria scoffs and a familiar angry scowl scrunches up her face.
>"No, no, no," she says, fumbling with her belt, "Fuck that."
>She shoves her purple jeans and panties down and kicks them into a corner, now clad in only a shirt and her socks.
>"Sonata, help me find my leggings!" she shouts.
>Sonata gets to her feet and starts rummaging through Aria's drawer.
>"Which one?"
>"The purple ones!"
>While Sonata looks for her leggings, Aria busies herself slathering the dildo with lube.
>Sonata jumps over your legs and rushes over to Aria, happily presenting the balled-up purple leggings.
>"Found'em!"
>"Ah~"
>Aria slowly slides the length of the dildo into her folds, hissing and trying to relax as the fake cock stretches her.
>"Ooh... It's bigger than I remember him being..."
>After a few moments of huffing and puffing, Aria slides the entire thing inside of her.
>"N-Now Anonymous will ALWAYS r-remember that he f-fits inside me like a..."
>The phallus slides out of her, and she pushes it back in with a moan.
>"...like a glove."
>She's blushing pretty badly, and the hand she uses to take the leggings from Sonata is shaking visibly.
>"Th-thanks, Sonata..."
>It takes a few tries to get the leggings on because the dildo kept sliding out.
>Sonata eventually volunteered to hold it against her crotch while Aria slipped her new pants on and slipped the around her hips.
>You don't know if it was by accident or on purpose, but Sonata seemed to have a case of butter fingers today.
>That vibrating thing didn't stay in place under Sonata's watch, and Aria was left slightly breathless when she finally tugged those leggings over her plump ass and secured them around her waist.
>You can see the outline of the dildo through the leggings.
>"Hoh-kay," gasped Aria as she fumbled with the remote control for the vibrator, "Let's g-give this baby a r-ride."
>You hold out a hand to stop her.
"You're really gonna try that here?"
>Aria nods.
>You quirk an eyebrow and smirk.
"In front of your sisters?"
>Aria blushes a bit, but nods.
>"I wanna know if it works.  Maybe I need to retu-"
>CLICK
>"Sonat-aahhh~"
>Aria reaches out to grab the remote from Sonata, but instead she falls to her knees and grasps at her crotch.
>"So, girls," purrs Sonata, "Wanna see if she can handle all 36 settings?"
>"N-Nooo~" warbles Aria, falling to her side as Sonata presses another button.
"...lemme see that thing, Sonata."
>Sonata tosses the remote to you and you spy a dial labeled "intensity."
>An audible buzz fills the room (as well as your purple sister's moans) as you twist the dial all the way to maximum.
>Maybe waiting for Anon to get back home won't be so boring for Aria after all.

------------------

>You are Anon, and boy are these groceries heavy.
>You twist the doorknob with your pinkie fingers (which you're pretty sure is now sprained) and nudge the door open with your butt.
"Girls!" you shout, "I'm back!  Help me put these things away!"
>You strain your ears to listen, but nobody answers.
>All you hear is a suspicious buzzing.
>"A-Anon'mus!"
>Aria comes stumbling out of the siren's bedroom, hitting the far wall and falling to her knees.
>You drop your groceries and rush over to the purple siren.
>What in the world is wrong with her?
>Is she sick?
>Hurt?
>IS GRANDMA DYING?!
"Aria?!"
>She tilts her head up and makes the l-lewdest face you've ever seen.
>...now that you're this close, you're noticing a lot of new things about her.
>For one, her face is beet-red.
>Second, she's sweating like a motherfucker; looking more like that morning you had sex than anything else.
>Three, she smells like a whorehouse.
>"A-Anon!  I-I need help~"
>Aria reaches out with shaking arms and weakly grasps your shoulders.
>You grab her by the sides (just under her arms) and try to lift her.
>When you get her to her feet, you notice that the buzzing has grown louder.
>Oddly enough, it's coming from her crotch.
>Surely, with these things considered, you can't be blamed for looking down, right?
>And holy Moses, Aria is absolutely soaked.
>Her entire crotch is a darker shade of purple than the leggings around them.
>If it weren't for the stank of moist crotch in the air, you'd suspect that Aria had pissed herself.
"Aria?  Why do you-"
>"F-Fuck me!"
>Your attempt to make discussion with your purple roommate is cut tragically short when she grips you with surprising strength (considering her situation) and pulls you into a desperate kiss.

------------------------

>You are Anon, and it is several hours later.
>You and the sirens are all cuddled up on the couch, watching a movie.
>The lights are off, and blankets are covering everyone.
>You are sitting in your one-person couch, and Adagio and Sonata are sprawled out on the longer sofa.
>Aria has planted herself firmly in your lap and is happily munching on Sonata's box of Froot Loops while the blue girl watches sadly.
>Sonata looks at you as though she were a puppy and you just kicked her.
"Don't give me that look," you say, tightening your arms around Aria, "what you did to Aria was mean."
>Sonata 'harumph's and crosses her arms.
>"I thought you were supposed to respect your elders..."
>Aria wriggles her bum around in your lap and swallows her mouthful of artificially-flavoured fruit cereal.
>"But he IS, Sonata," she rasps, her throat still sore from nearly two hours of non-stop noise-making, "Anonymous is a bit of a putz, but he's treating ME just fine."
>She counts off with her fingers.
>"First one he had sex with, first one he had a sensual bath with-"
>You interrupt her with a pat on the thigh.
"You were barely conscious for most of that bath, Aria. And I only did it because I didn't trust Adagio or Sonata to wash you up properly."
>Aria shrugs and stuffs another handful of dry cereal into her mouth.
>"You touched me 'down there'," she insists, spraying wet chunks of Froot Loops all over your carpet, "It counts as a sensual bath."
>Aria twists around and pats your cheek with an expression that you could almost call fondness.
>"You did good, Anonymous. Remind me to give you a handie later."
"...shut up and watch the movie."

----------------------------------

>You are Anon, and today is your day off from work.
>It's about 10 in the morning, and you've decided to spend a few hours watching TV in your jammies.
>Waking up and going straight to breakfast (and then right over to the TV) reminds you of when you were a kid watching Saturday morning cartoons, and it's a ritual that's carried over even into your adult life.
>Nobody else was awake when your slippered feet brought you into the living-room (complete with stained carpets), and so you decided that it would be nice to use your sofa for once instead of your recliner, since nobody else was using it.
>You complete your comfiness by sliding your rear towards the edge of the cushions so that you're almost lying down on your back.
>Your neck will not be thanking you for this later, but you don't care.
>A documentary on fish life caught your eye, and so you've been spending the last half-hour listening to a surprisingly soothing voice explain to you how baby salmons are made.
>Just as the narrator is explaining how the salmon swim upstream to reach their spawning grounds, Aria comes stumbling out of the bedroom-hallway and pitter-patters over to you with mismatched socks.
>Her pyjamas consist of a thin, threadbare tank-top and a loose set of really soft-looking pyjama bottoms which hangs slightly off of one hip.
>She stops directly in front of you and scrunches her face up in a sleepy glare.
>"Y-yer in my place," she yawns.
>Aria runs her fingers through an impressive case of bedhead in an attempt to tame it, but only makes it worse.
>"Scoot."
"Nuh-uh," you reply and point over to the entire rest of the sofa, "Sit over there."
>Aria groans, but obeys.
>It seems as though she isn't in the mood to argue with you so soon after waking up.
>"Fiiiiine~"
>Without any finesse or apparent concern for the sake of your sofa's springs, Aria plops down onto the far cushion.
>After that, she spins around so that she's laying across the length of the sofa and rests her feet on your lap.
>You aren't too keen on being used as a footrest, so you grab Aria's ankles and shove her legs off of you.
>You're only given a moment of satisfaction from having successfully established dominance before Aria swings her legs over your outstretched arm and plants them squarely back on your lap.
>You turn your head to glare at Aria and she raises an eyebrow in challenge, still squinting at you in a half-asleep haze.
>If she thinks that she can pull this shit this early in the morning, then she has another thing coming.
>Once more, you grab her ankles and shove them off of your legs.
>Predictably, she wastes no time in dodging around you arm again and returning her feet to their original position.
>You hold Aria's sleepy gaze for just a few more moments, and then your shoulders slump in defeat as your annoyance drains from you.
>You know what?
>Fuck it.
>Fine.
>This is stupid.
>You woke up like twenty minutes ago, and you're not in the mood to make a federal fucking issue out of this.
>You turn your attention back to the TV (now featuring a big ol' cuddly bear catching a salmon in its mouth while the fish starts its journey upstream) and try to convince yourself that you know when to fold'em.
>With all the exasperation of a man who has put up with too much shit, you ask Aria just one word.
"Why?"
>Aria yawns again and scoots towards you a bit more so that her legs are resting on your lap instead of her feet.
>" 'Cause sitting up is for chumps."
>She gently nudges your stomach with her leg.
>"Now turn it up."
>Aria is silent for the next few minutes, up until you reach the part where the male salmons start spraying gross fish-cum all over the eggs that the female salmons spat all over a bunch of rocks.
>You scrunch your nose in disgust; this documentary has been on for years and you've never liked this part.
"That's fucking nasty."
>Aria snorts and nudges your stomach, and you look over to see what she wants.
>To your surprise, she's snickering; not laughing cruelly, but tittering as though she had just thought of the funniest joke in the world and was struggling to keep her mirth in check long enough to share her sense of humour to whoever was closest.
>"Anonymous?" she asks, voice quivering with mirth.
>You can feel it in your gut; you're going to regret this.
"Yeah, Aria?"
>Aria breathes a few times through her nose to collect herself, then opens her mouth to speak.
>"You can squirt your seed all over MY eggs, Anonymous."
>Aria gets the biggest shit-eating grin as she waits for your response to her totally unfunny not-joke.
>The look on your face is the epitome of "unimpressed".
"Aria?" you ask, silently wondering if any of their siren biology carried over to their human forms, "If you lay a bunch of fishy siren-eggs all over my couch, I'm kicking you out of my home."
>Aria scoffs and chuckles before turning her attention back to the TV.
>Aria's weird when she isn't awake enough for her prickly personality to catch up with her.
>The rest morning is spent having a surprisingly pleasant time with Aria.

>The silence of your couch-mate and the relative boringness of the TV show (now you're at the part where the salmon change colour as they magically turn from fresh-water salmon to salt-water salmon) lets your mind wander easily.
>Naturally, it meanders to Sonata, Adagio, and Aria; your great-grandmother and your two great-grandaunts.
>It's been a wild couple of weeks (probably around a month by now) since they started eating all your food and sleeping in your spare bedroom.
>They told you they wanted you to knock them up and give them siren children.
>Siren children who can attract attention and command affection just by their siren nature alone.
>Siren children who, unlike you, will have actual social graces and will know about what they are and how to utilize their abilities.
>Natural-born leaders and politicians, all 'loyal to the family', as Aria put it.
>All immortal, too.
>Just like their mothers.
>...and just like you too?
>You feel your chest tighten as anxiety and dread pools in your stomach like a stone.
>That's one issue you're going to have to corner Aria to solve.
>You glance over at Aria via the corner of your eye and look away before she notices.
>Not today.
>You aren't sure you want to know the answer.
>By this point, thanks to all their openly sexual nature, you absolutely believe that they were telling the truth about starting a family with you.
>And it's tempting; DAMN tempting.
>Three young, insanely-attractive women who want to spirit you far away where you'll live the rest of your lives together, raising your family while you all live off of their investment money?
>One of which who who is eager to get pregnant before her sisters
>Another of which who has the best pair of tits you've ever seen on a woman and who loves to shove them in your face whenever she finds an excuse to
>And another who... well, hasn't done anything to you yet, but instead took care of you when you were hungover.
>That felt really nice, if you're being honest.
>But then there's the issue of incest.
>Which, honestly, is a laughable problem for you to be stopping you at this point.
>You're what; at least 50% siren? The closest thing your grand-relatives have to a pure-blooded male of the species?
>The amount of siren blood you've got in you is what you would expect the direct offspring of these sirens to be instead of their offspring's offspring's offspring.
>You mean, you SHOULD be about 12% siren if your family spread out a bit more, but that didn't happen.
>Thank God all that bullshit horse magic keeps you from being too fucked up from all the inbreeding.
>Frankly, you're surprised you can still smart good.
>You wonder what your own kids would be like.
>What's your role in all this?
>The sirens are nice enough, but the only reason they want to bring you with them is to make a bunch of mostly-siren babies.
>Who's to say that you won't just be locked in the basement, handcuffed to the radiator; visited by the three sisters only when they're either feeding you or raping you?
>The only one you could trust not to do that would be Sonata, but what do you really even know about her?
>About any of them?
>It's why you kept your job despite the siren's promises of wealth; you want a way out if you end up not going with them when the times comes and their new living conditions are all set up.
>You really can't put this off any longer; it's time to really get to know your family, and not just for their role in the incident at Canterlot High.
"Hey, Aria?" you ask, turning your head to look at the purple girl.
>Aria grunts and tears her eyes away from the RIVETING footage of David Suzuki discussing salmon mating behaviour and looks at you with dull curiosity.
>"Hmmm?"
"How come you're not the leader instead of Adagio?"
>Aria's eyes open wide and she sits up straighter; THAT sure got her attention.
>"Anonymous?" she asks, taking a deep breath and looking at you in a way she's never done before, "I've asked myself that exact same question every single day of my life."
>What follows is a rant of epic proportions.
>The words tumble out of Aria's mouth like a runaway train as she tells you about her life with her sisters, all while emphasizing Adagio's failings and instances of Aria's own leadership-worthy abilities coming through.
>She makes it sound like she should have been leader from the start, but anything from unfortunate coincidences to purely being the victim of circumstance snatched the mantle of leadership from her fishy fingertips.
>It starts with tales of power-struggles during their time as majestic sea-serpents, where they would have contests of strength, ruthlessness, and ability.
>Next, it spills over to early times on Earth where they would use human politics to their advantages; sometimes as allies and other times as enemies.
>It's less impressive than what they did in their Equestrian forms, but Aria paints a vivid picture with her words that makes you forget all about fish sex.
>Finally, Aria's story spins down as she reaches more recent history.
>It's... a little bit underwhelming; and that's putting it kindly.
>It seems like standards have slipped since the life-and-death days of being sea-monsters.
>The last 10 minutes of Aria's story were centered around something called "Taco Tuesday" and how Sonata kept being "the worst".
>At some point during her rant, Aria's position on the sofa had flipped around.
>Her feet were dangling off of the far armrest, and her head was resting in your lap.
>At last, after 45 minutes of Aria telling you all about herself and why she was CLEARLY a better leader than Adagio, Aria falls silent.
>Her perpetual scowl is gone, and you almost don't recognize her now that her brow is no longer furrowed in annoyance or anger.
>The small smile on her face and her relaxed features gives the impression that Aria just had a great weight lifted off her shoulders by telling you all this, and it occurs to you that you're probably the only person other than Aria, Sonata, and Adagio to have heard any of this.
>With a soft grunt, Aria lifts herself up into a sitting position and then hoists herself up to her feet.
>"Ohh..." she groans, lifting her arms and rolling the stiffness out of her shoulders, "I needed that."
>Aria leans forward and playfully ruffles your already-messy hair.
>"Thanks for letting me vent, slugger. I'm gonna wake up Adagio and make her cook up some breakfast."

-------------------------

>You are Anon, and you fucked up.
>You fucked up super hard.
>You're standing in your living room, covered in fish parts.
>And no, that's not a euphemism for having finally given in and fucked your family of ocean-creatures.
>There's gross slime covering your front (and ruining your shirt), and you have scales in your hair.
>"Ahh... oh, that was so good~"
>Before you lie the sirens, sprawled out wherever their bodies fell.
>Adagio has the sofa
>Sonata has the recliner
>Aria is just lying on the floor, not moving.
>It was the day after you got Aria to talk to you, and you were feeling good about yourself.
>She had started to treat you better, and you thought that maybe the key to staying out of your old granny's rape dungeon was to do nice things for them.
>So you thought you'd buy them a treat.
>Not a lot; just a little something they would probably enjoy.
>Adagio said they liked fish back when she told you all about their business with Canterlot high
>You thought "why, I might be able to get my great-grandmother and great-grandaunts to warm up to me and probably not use me as a baby factory."
>You asked them what kind of fish they liked, and they got excited.
>REALLY excited.
>So, you went out and bought one (an enormous trout, to be specific) and they were waiting for you at the door.
>Literally waiting for you at the door, looking like they hadn't moved at all since you left.
>Like little children waiting for mommy to come back home, Sonata, Aria, and Adagio were crowded around the entrance when you finally got home.
>And then they took the fish.
>And then....
>And then they ATE the fish.
>Right there in front of you.
>Bones and all.
>You now know why they have so many sharp teeth. Those teeth exist for the sole purpose of ripping and tearing huge guts.

>It was like a gory scene out of a horror movie; or maybe just like somebody shoving a fish into a blender and forgetting to put the lid on.
>Scales were flying as they skinned the poor dead thing with their teeth and their hands, eager to get to the meaty insides.
>Bones were picked clean and used to spear the eyeballs... which they fought over.
>"It's the best part", they said.
>Three girls, all covered in blood and flesh... fighting for two shiny eyeballs that never once looked away from you.
>"You did this", the eyeballs said.
>"You let this happen".
>It was legitimately the most terrifying thing you've ever seen.
"What just happened?" you whimper.
>"Hmmm?"
>Adagio raises her head, and you immediately regret the decision of drawing attention to yourself.
>"You did good, Anon," she says, patting her belly and using a fish bone to pick her teeth, "You did REAL good."
>She stretches out and nudges Sonata with her foot, and your grandmother moans in response.
>"Sonata!" calls Adagio, sounding as though the act of talking was taking monumental effort, "Get up! You and Aria have gotta clean up this mess."
>Is that what they're calling this murder scene?
>"Oooohhhhhhh-"
>Sonata slowly rolls over off the edge of the recliner, eliciting one solid tone of moaning for the entire experience.
>"-ooooooooookay~"
>Sonata slowly trudges over to Aria and leans down to shake her awake.
>Meanwhile, Adagio has gotten to her feet.
>To your dismay, she's approaching you.
>Your heart skips a beat when you realize that you still have fish stuff on you.
>Oh, God, are you next?
>You take a panicked step backwards, and Adagio stops walking.
>"What are you doing?" she asks, puzzled.
>She takes another step; you match her with one of your own.
>Adagio's brow furrows and she narrows her eyes in annoyance.
>"Stop that."
>Another step for you and for her.
>Adagio sighs and rubs her forehead.
>"For the love of-Sonata!"

>Sonata's head pokes up, interrupting her task of dragging Aria across the floor by the arms like she's trying to hide a body.
>"What is it, 'Dagi?"
>Adagio waves her over, and Sonata unceremoniously drops Aria to the floor. 
>"I think we might have spooked Anon," she said matter-of-factly, pointing at you over her shoulder with her thumb, "He's all gross right now and he needs a bath."
>Sonata skips over, looking thrilled.
>"Ooh!" she squeals, "I can do that!"
>Adagio rolls her eyes.
>"I know that, genius. Why do you think I called you over?"
>Adagio gestures to your traumatized form.
>"You're supposed to be his beloved granny or something, right?" she asks, "He'll probably respond better to you. Aria and I will get the room cleaned up in the meantime."
>True to her word, you don't feel the urge to run and hide when Sonata approaches you.
>"C'mon, Nonny," she coos, taking your hand and leading you away, "Grandma 'Nata's gonna give you a bath, okay?"
" 'k-kay..."

>"See, honey? Romantic, right?"
>You are Anon, and things are considerably better than they were half an hour ago.
>You're sitting in a hot bath (drained twice during the cleaning process because of all that nasty fish crap), leaning against Sonata's chest.
>You can feel her soft tits pressing against your back; you're practically going to find bruises where her stiff nipples are pushing hard against.
>You've calmed down quite a bit since the Fish Massacre of '17, all thanks to your grandma.
>The actual washing is over, and now you're just enjoying the bath.
>Sonata leans forward and rests her head on your shoulder, wrapping her arms around your stomach and sighing in contentment.
>"I'm proud of you, you know," whispers Sonata, breaking the comfortable silence.
>You wrap your hands around her wrists, much like you had done for her when Adagio was yelling at you two.
>You feel completely relaxed.
"What do you mean, Sonata?
>Sonata giggles, and the laugh sounds slightly husky.
>"You never would have done this a few weeks ago," she elaborates, " 'Specially not with that dumb human taboo for incest. And NOW look at you."
>Sonata nuzzles the back of your head lovingly.
>"Taking a bath with your granny."
>Sonata's legs slide around your body and lock around your hips.
>One of her hands, wet and slick, slips from your grasp and dips below the water.
>"And not only that, but you got me an' my sisters a yummy present."
>Her hand slides down your pelvis and heads towards your slowly hardening cock.
>"I think my little grandson deserves a reward; don't you?"
>You jump when her fingers brush against your length.
>Quick as a whip, you jam your hand into the water and grab Sonata's wrist.
"Sonata, wait."
>She sighs sadly.
>"It's just me, Nonny," she coos in a very maternal way, "We don't even have to tell my sisters if you don't want me to."
>Tempting, but not yet.
>Avoiding the fate of turning into a baby factory is pretty good motivation to blueball yourself.
"Taking a bath with you is one thing," you say, slowly pulling her hand away from you, "getting a handjob from you is another."
>Sonata slumps against your back and groans in disappointment.
>"I was so close to touching your wiener, Nonny!"
>And there she is; there's the Sonata you know.
>The one that doesn't bad-touch you.
>You thread your fingers through Sonata's and give them a squeeze, which Sonata returns.
>You enjoy the rest of the bath together.

---------------------------------

>You are Adagio Dazzle, and you are walking through the halls of your temporary home in search of your purple friend.
>You have an idea of where she is: in the bedroom you share with your sisters.
>It had been a bit of a hit to your ego not to have three extravagant rooms dedicated to each of you, but you put up with it.
>You'll just make the bedroom in your next house even MORE opulent.
>But enough about that; you are a siren with a mission.
>Ever since Anon conceded to taking a bath with Sonata, you've been planning and plotting for what to do next.
>It's a very simple line of reasoning: If your nephew has become comfortable enough with you to bathe with one of you, then he'll be comfortable enough to bathe with ALL of you.
>And bathing means getting to show off how shiny and healthy your hair is, and how blemish-free your skin is.
>...it doesn't feel the same as showing off your shiny scales and well-maintained fins, but it would have to do.
>When you arrive at your bedroom, you poke your head in through the open doorway.
>Aria is, laying around, not really doing anything; not that you or Sonata are accomplishing anything either.
"Hey, idiot."
>You snicker when Aria actually raises her head in acknowledgement of her insulting nickname.
>Her expression turns from sleepy curiosity to dawning realization at what she had done, and then Aria scowls at you.
>That's right, Aria.
>Fuck you.
>Aria plants her hands on either side of her body and pushes herself up into a sitting position, scooting backwards so that she can lean up against the wall.
>"What do you want, Adagio?" she asks, sounding sore from falling for such a cheap trick, "I was trying to nap."
"You know how Sonata had a bath with Anon?"
>Aria yawns and rubs her eyes with the palm of her hand, giving you a (surprisingly cute) sleepy nod.
>"Yeah. What about it?"
"Two things, Aria. One-"
>You old up one finger.
"-he's starting to trust us. You have my permission to start wearing that vibrating dildo around him again."
>Aria bristles at your remark.
>If you know your sister - and after over a thousand years, you certainly hope you do - then you know she's none-too-pleased at the implication that she needs YOUR permission to do anything; leader of the pack or not.
>Aria raises her arm and stick two of her own fingers up, somehow managing to make the gesture look vulgar.
>"First of all," she says testily, ticking off her index finger, "I do NOT need your say-so to remind Anon exactly where his cock belongs."
>Aria lowers her index finger, leaving only her middle finger up and flipping you off in the process.
>Way to keep it classy, Aria.
>"Second of all," Aria continues, "You can't actually stop me if I-"
>You dig your fingers into your pocket, hardly able to wait and see how Aria would react, and pull out a very familiar remote control.
>Aria's eyes bug out as her indignant speech pitters off, and she hunches over to search her pockets and the area around her bed.
>"MotherFUCKER!"
"Aria?"
>Aria glares at you.
>You toss the remote over to her, and Aria catches it in one hand.
>She looks honestly surprised that you gave it up so easily.
>You have more important things to worry about.
"And two-"
>You can't help but grin as you tap your second finger.
"-It's officially open season on bathing with our nephew."
>Aria immediately jumps to her feet but you're already out the door.
"I get first dibs because I'm in charge!" you blurt out as quickly as possible
>"Fuck!"

>You are Anon, and you just got home from work.
>You tiredly unlock and open the door, barely finding the energy to close it again behind you.
>Without any finesse, you drop your work bag, barely noticing (or caring) when it slumps up against your leg.
"Honey!" you shout weakly, "I'm home!"
>There is no response.
>With a sigh, you toe your shoes off (stumbling over your carelessly-dropped bag) and drag your feet over to the living-room, where you're sure you'll find at least one friendly house-invader.
>The soft cushion of the carpet is heaven on your feet after a day of walking and standing around.
>You were right; there are SEVERAL home-invaders in your house right now.
>Adagio is sitting sideways in your recliner, feet dangling off over the armrest and a book in her hands.
>Aria is laying across your sofa on her back, using the armrest as a pillow.
>She's watching some kind of documentary on TV, but her glassy eyes and drooping eyelids makes you think she's not really all that into...
>You peer at the screen.
>...not really all that into how they make toothpicks.
>"Hey, 'Non," greets Adagio without looking up from her book, "Leftover soup is in the fridge. Bottom shelf on the left."
>Your stomach growls at the thought of your Auntie's amazing soup (you bring a thermos of it to work whenever it's available), but you really just want to sit down.
>Every step you take (despite the cushiony softness of your carpet) makes it feel like your feet are having stomach cramps.
>When you reach the sofa, you shove Aria's feet away from the armrest cushion and collapse onto it in a boneless heap.
>Aria, predictably, immediately swings her feet around and plants them firmly on your lap, but you're too tired to care.
"What," you croak jokingly, "Nobody's bringing me my slipper or a tobacco pipe?"
>"Nah," drawls Aria, not looking away from the riveting 'How It's Made' footage, "I stopped smoking 80 years ago. I couldn't reach the high notes after a while, so I quit."
"Huh."
>And then you stop talking, because the conversation was going nowhere fast.
>You snort and lean your head back, resting it as far as it will go and staring at the ceiling for entertainment.
"You're awful house-wives. None of you even baked me a pie."
>Aria nudges you with her foot, and you glance down at her.
>When she sees that you're looking at her, she spreads her legs and props one of them up around the headrest.
>Her crotch is now on proud display to you.
>You can totally see the outline of her plump lips through those leggings.
>And fuck me if her clit isn't the size of a grape.
>"I've got a pie for you to eat right here, Anonymous," says Aria, grinning and wriggling her eyebrows.
>Oh, you.
>Oh you, Aria.
>You shake your head and chuckle, laying your head back and bringing your attention back to the ceiling.
"Maybe later."
>A loud bang draws your attention over to Adagio; she's on her feet, and her book (YOUR book) is laying on the ground.
>"Oh, shoot!" she hisses, "I nearly forgot!"
>The orange girl digs around in her pants pockets until she pulls out a piece of paper, folded in half, which she then hands to you.
>Upon unfolding it, you discover it to be a cheque.
>A cheque for quite a bit of money.
>"Here."

>You quirk an eyebrow and look up at Adagio, wondering exactly why she's suddenly decided to give you money.
"What's this? I mean, not that I'm complaining that you're giving me a bunch of money, but I'd like to know which one of you just rented out my dick for the night."
>Adagio shrugs carelessly.
>"It's pa-"
>Aria sits up sharply, nearly kicking you in the junk as her feet slide off of your lap.
>She looks at you with a mixture of shock and wonderment.
>"Wait, we can DO that?" she asks incredulously, "I could have just paid this putz to knock me up weeks ago?"
>Aria sits up and furiously digs through her pockets, presumably pawing for her wallet.
>"Dammit, Anonymous! Why didn't you TELL me you were a whore?!"
>Adagio sighs deeply and facepalms.
>"No, dumbass," Adagio says, "It's pay for this week's groceries. Since we're all locked up in Anon's apartment, living for free and eating all his food, I think it's fair if we paid for his groceries. OUR groceries, I should say."
>You thank Adagio and pocket the cheque, making a mental reminder to go to the bank tomorrow morning.
>You glance over at Aria, who is pouting on the sofa, looking disappointed and a little embarrassed.
"I take it that not all of you were on the same page?"
>"No, I knew," says Aria glumly, sliding back down onto the sofa, "That was just wishful thinking on my part."
"Hey, man," you drawl, poking her legs, "Follow your dreams."
>Aria snorts and shoves in the stomach with her foot.
>"Eat me, you shit."
>She hooks her leg back up over the headrest like she did just a minute ago and spreads her legs.
>"No, seriously; eat me."
>After a few minutes of relaxing, you get to your feet and start to walk out of the room.
"This is fun and all," you say tiredly, "But I'm gross and sweaty right now. I'm gonna take a shower."
>Two grunts of acknowledgement follow in your wake as you leave the room.

>You trudge into the bathroom andohshit someone's in here.
>"N-Nonny!"
>The sound of water hitting water cuts off as Sonata covers her groin with her hands.
>Which is weird, considering how she flashes you all the time and has made it VERY clear that she intends on bearing your children.
"...So you'll flash me your tits," you say, too tired to not be a grumpy cunt, "But looking at your pussy is too far?"
>"Nonny, that's different!"
>Sonata frantically paws at the skirt sitting around her ankles and tries to tug it up her legs.
>Problem is, she's so flustered that she hasn't realized that she's got it caught around her knees.
>"I'm PEEING!" she hisses.
>You unbutton your shirt and peel it off your sweaty skin.
"Sonata, listen. When we're married and live in a great big house with all our children-"
>You miss the look of utter delight on Sonata's face.
"-You can pee whenever you want."
>There's a brief silence as the both of you appreciate the trainwreck that just came out of your mouth.
>You don't even know what you were trying to say.
>Sonata scrunches up her face in the most adorable manner, looking as confused as you feel.
>"...what?"
"Fucking..." you mutter, massaging your forehead as a headache starts to come on, "I don't know, okay?"
>You undo your belt and slide your pants down your legs, kicking them off into a pile in the corner.
"I'm sorry, Sonata, I just really want to take a shower right now."
>Sonata's eyes light up again.
>"Can I join you?"
"N-"
>"No."
>A new challenger appears.
>Adagio stands in the doorway, taking in your dirty and half-naked form with a bit of a smirk on her face.
>"Nice," she murmurs to herself.
>Sonata pouts and stands up, finally pulling her skirt up over her rump.
>You had no idea that she didn't wear underwear, but there you go.

>"Why not, 'Dagi?" asks Sonata with a whine in her voice, "I took a bath with Nonny just a little while ago! We've BONDED! He's got my scent all over him and now his parents will NEVER take him back to their nest!"
>Adagio takes Sonata's weirdness in stride and boops the blue girl on the nose.
>"I don't think so, young lady. You've had your fun with Anon; now it's my turn."
>Sonata crosses her arms and pouts, looking like a child who just got told that Mom forgot to pick up her Froot Loops at the grocery store.
>She looks between you and Adagio for a minute, and then lifts up the hem of her shirt.
>Sonata near-perfect tits once more make an appearance, and as always, you cannot help but stare.
>Full-bodied...
>No sag...
>Big, thick nipples just BEGGING to be pinched and sucked on...
>Sonata tucks them away and (when she finally grabs your attention and brings it up to her face) winks at you.
>"Just remember these while you're taking a bath with Adagio, okay?"
>Adagio grabs Sonata by the shoulders and marches her out the door.
>"My honeysuckle melons are WAY better than 'Dagi's Georgia peaches, Nonny!" she cries as she's forced out of the room, "I have the sweetest fruit!"
>Adagio leans her back against the door, panting from the effort of pushing Sonata out the door.
>"Alright," she huffs, undoing her gem-belt buckle, "Strip."
"You can't just..."
>"Strip."
>...
>Fuck it.
>Just fuck it.
>You know the sirens well enough that you're pretty sure they won't try to smother you with a loofa.
>You're gonna take a shower, heat up some soup, and then go to bed.
>If your aunt really wants to get naked and join you, then more power to her.
"Fuckin'..." you grumble, hooking your thumbs around the elastic band of your underwear and tugging them down your legs, "Sure. Just remember to scrub my back."

>You yelp as you step into the shower; the water was hotter than you were expecting.
>Not scalding hot, but enough to leave your skin feeling kinda raw by the end of it.
>Adagio, however, is taking the full brunt of it since she's standing in front of you.
>She doesn't even flinch.
>"What's the matter, Anon?" she asks teasingly, "Is the water too hot?"
>What is she, trying to boil your testicles?
"Is this a siren thing?" you ask, doing your best not to ogle your Auntie, "Because I expected sea-creatures to like COLD water, not HOT water."
>Adagio snickers and turns around so that she can reach the nobs.
>"No, Anon," she says, sounding amused, "It's a 'personal preference' thing. I like my showers hot, but I can turn it down a bit for you."
>You un-cup your package with your hands now that you no longer need to protect yourself.
>You cannot, however, stop yourself from looking at your aunt's ass.
>It's not as around and plump as Aria's is, and it doesn't look quite as soft.
>And the glance you stole of Adagio's tits proved Sonata right; they aren't quite as nice as Sonata's are.
>...though they ARE bigger than Aria's.
>Your siren relatives are actually like a sliding scale of tits and ass.
>The bigger the ass, the smaller the tits; likewise, the bigger the tits, the smaller the ass.
>Adagio's right in the middle, but she has something that neither Aria nor Sonata have:
>Son, she's got hips for days.
>Adagio has legitimate child-bearin' hips.
>Wide without being fat, and looking like they'd make the perfect handlebars for if you wanted to just grab her and stick your dick inside of her.
>The lizard part of your brain is very pleased with these hips.
>When Adagio turns back around to face you, she has a bar of soap in one hand and your loofa in the other.

>You know, you're kinda curious about Sonata's downstairs area now.
>From what you vaguely remember about your night with Aria, she was clean-shaven.
>Smooth as the rest of the flawless skin on her purple body.
>Adagio is quite the opposite.
>Poof-wise, the carpet matches the drapes.
>It's like her groin is time-displaced and perpetually exists in a vintage 1970's porno filmed in Italy.
>...
>She doesn't shave. That's what you're trying to say. Good God, her bush is fucking enormous.
>You pointedly look away from her uncovered loins...
>...eventually, anyway.
>It's the thought that counts.
>Adagio holds the soap and the loofa under the hot spray of water and starts lathering it up, all while giving you a mischievous smile that makes you nervous.
>The way she rubs the bar of soap in circles on the loofa almost looks sensual.
>"You know, Anon," she drawls playfully, "People might get the wrong impression about you."
>What, that you don't fuck your family? What a horrible reputation to have.
>Still, you aren't going to give Adagio the satisfaction of voicing those thoughts; you REALLY don't like the way she's looking at you.
"I'm sure I have no idea what you're talking about," you retort.
>Adagio finishes preparing the loofa and steps out of the spray, and then takes a step towards you.
>Her hand (the loofa-free one, thankfully) darts out and she boops you on the nose with a finger.
>You scrunch up your nose and try to swat her hand away, but she's too quick for you.
>"I'm naked-"
>Boop; she dodges your hand.
"Hey!"
>"You're naked-"
>Boop; she finds a hole in your defence.
"Stoppit!"
>"And you're so hard that I could probably use your cock as a handle to grab onto so that I don't slip."
>Boop; your swinging hand misses entirely because Adagio's fingertip went straight for your dick.
>Adagio presses her finger against the engorged head of your cock.

>Her touch is searing, and you can't stifle your gasp in time.
>"I helped make this, Anon," she purrs, eyes locked on your package, "I wonder if it tastes as yummy as it looks..."
>While you're still recovering from the unexpected dick-touch, Adagio grabs you by the shoulders with both hands and spins you around 180 degrees.
>Your heart skips a beat when you feel your feet slip and lose your footing on the wet bathtub floor, but Adagio almost immediately catches you.
>She wraps her arms around your chest and holds you tightly against her.
>Her sea-monster-inside-a-small-woman's-body strength is enough to hold you upright.
>"Easy, Anon," she coos, patting you on the chest, "I got you. You good?"
>You might have just peed a little bit.
"Fuck you."
>"You're good."
>Adagio holds you close as she washes your chest from behind.
>You can feel her coarse pubic hairs rubbing against you.
>You COULD fight her off, you know.
>You COULD... you just don't feel like it.
"You're-" you mutter lamely, but you're interrupted by Adagio..
>"-Family, right?" finishes the orange girl.
>She giggles and nuzzles the back of your head.
>"What did I just say, Anon? You wouldn't be here if you still believed that."
>That's bullshit, but you decide not to say anything to refute it.
>You mean, you're already here in the shower with your Auntie... it's not like you really gain anything by throwing a tantrum at this point.
>You allow yourself to relax under Adagio's ministrations.
>When she turns around and requests that you wash her like she washed you, you grumble only mildly before scrubbing her down.
>You chose not to mention the way she kept rubbing her ass against your junk.

SOON
>After your shower, Adagio wordlessly grabs you by the hand and leads you over to the guest bedroom.
>She pushes her hand against your chest and you fall backwards onto the bed.
>POMF =3
"What are we gonna do on the bed, Adagio?"
>Adagio sits down next to you on the mattress and pats you on the knee.
>"We..."
>She bends forward and reaches under the bed, dragging out a small duffel bag, which she unzips and starts rooting around in.
>"...are going to preen each other."
>You're going to what?
>Adagio sits back up, proudly brandishing a brush in her hand.
>What does she mean, 'preen each other'?
"Preen each other," you deadpan.
>Adagio nods, humming a cheerful "Mm-hmm!"
"...L-Like birds do?"
>This actually gets a laugh out of Adagio.
>"No, Anon," she giggles, "Like SIRENS do!"
>Adagio shuffles closer to you, bouncing slightly on the springs as she moves.
>She doesn't stop until she's about a foot away from you.
>And then, in an unexpected display of trust, Adagio turns around and presents her back to you.
>"You're siren, Anon," she explains patiently, reaching around and handing you the brush, "We've told you that like... four times already."
>She looks over her shoulder and makes a "get on with it" motion with her hand; you grab a handful of damp poof and start brushing.
>You don't actually know what you're doing, so you just start at the top and drag the comb down to the bottom.
>You're not any good at it, but you probably aren't fucking up TOO badly.
>"Sirens who are in a pack will bond with each other with a bit of mutual grooming," she explains, "Usually this is cleaning scales and maintaining fins, but you gotta work with what you got.
>She looks over her shoulder again and winks at you.
>...or just blinks normally; you can't really tell because you can only see half of her face.
>"Keep brushing. I'll do you after this, big guy."

"You know," you say carefully, thinking back to your morning with Aria, "This isn't the behavior of someone who's about to lock their boy away in a rape dungeon."
>Adagio shakes her head, nearly yanking the brush out of your hands with her thick hair.
>"There's a big difference between a mate and a sperm bank, Anon. I wouldn't be prettying you up if I were only after you for your dick."
>Adagio sighs and her shoulders slump.
>"Seriously Anon, if we wanted to rape you for the sake of getting pregnant with more sirens, we would have done that by now."
>Adagio's reasoning hits you like a sack of bricks.
"Fuck."
>You're an idiot.
>You were so focused on what they were going to do to you once you (hypothetically) went with them to their new house, that you completely ignored what they WEREN'T doing to you while they were living in your apartment with you.
>They could easily hold you down and fuck you until your dick fell off if they wanted to.
>They could probably use some weird siren magic on you if they tried hard enough.
>How many times have they overpowered you despite having twigs for arms?
>You groan miserably and lean forward onto Adagio's back, burying your face in her sweet-smelling hair.
"How did I go my entire life not knowing I was actually retarded?" you ask, voice muffled by Adagio's poof.
>Adagio awkwardly reaches back and pats you on the knee.
>"It's okay, Anon," she coos, "A bunch of our descendants are just as stupid as you are."
>You wrap your arms around Adagio's belly and wriggle yourself deeper into her hair.
"Nooo~" you moan, "I'm not normally this dumb, I promise..."
>You can feel Adagio laughing more than you can hear her.
>"I swear, Anon," she says through her laughter, "You're a dead ringer for Sonata. You've got her eyes, her jaw, her nose, and even her particular train of logic."
>Adagio lets you hold her for a few more minutes before grabbing your hands and pulling them apart.
>"Alright, dummy," she says cheerfully, spinning around to face you, "Turn around. I'll do you now."
>You do as your aunt says and trade positions with her, muttering glumly about how you aren't a dummy.
>Adagio runs her fingers through your short hair, massaging your scalp and getting a feel for what she's about to do.
>"You have such thick hair, Anon," she remarks, "You must have gotten that from me."
>Adagio brings up her brush and starts to drag it through your still-damp mop of hair.
>"We might not have scales and fins anymore, but it's still important to keep our appearances from slipping," she explains, "How else will the world know that we're ideal mates?
>You close your eyes and enjoy the sensation of someone lovingly dragging their fingers through your hair.
>It feels so much more personal than when a hair dresser does it.
>Dammit, this is actually pretty nice.
>You really wish you hadn't had your encounter with Sunset; then you'd be able to actually go outside with your family and have some fun together.
>"Did I ever tell you about the time Sonata got her head stuck in a chair during a Duke's wedding, back in the 17th century?"

HOURS LATER
"So, you're seriously not going to try and take over the world again?"
>Adagio shakes her head, giving your a faceful of poof.
>You had stopped grooming each other about an hour ago, and instead moved on to cuddling.
>You are the big spoon this time.
>It felt so much easier to relax around the sirens now the the "rape dungeon" thing isn't in the back of your mind.
>"Nah, that won't work. The Battle of the Bands showed us that. I think it's better if we just figure out a way to go home."
>THAT caught your attention.
"How do you plan to do that?"
>Adagio leans into you, and you rest your head on her shoulder.
>"I think we need to figure out how to recreate our gems. If we have those, then we can have access to Equestrian magic. And if we have Equestrian magic, then we can funnel it into a mass trans-world teleportation spell.
>She sighs and starts playing with a lock of orange hair.
>"Problem is, we'd need a lot of sirens with a lot of gems to muster up all that magic power."
>She leans her face towards yours and nuzzles you with her cheek.
>"And that's where you come in, Anon. This is why you're so important to us. I won't force you to impregnate us," she quickly reassures you, "but this is why we went along with Sonata when she got all excited about 'romancing' you."
>She nuzzles your cheek again.
>"And if I'm being perfectly honest, kiddo, I'm glad we did."

-----------------
Just about everything past this point will be removed when I come back to writing this story.
-----------------

A FEW DAYS LATER
>Okay, Anon.
>You can do this.
>You're a siren, right?
>Mostly?
>And sirens don't "do" social taboos.
>Who cares if you're just about to kiss your great-Grandmother?
>Your hot, young, big-titted great-Grandmother?
>The one who's CLEARLY interested in sex and who wants to bear your children?
>C'mon, Anon, just a kiss; ease into this whole 'starting a family' thing.
>"Nonny?"
>Sonata tilts her head curiously as she looks at you with mild concern.
>"What's up? You're staring at me."
>YOU CAN DO THIS.
>You walk forward, feeling painfully aware of your nervous, uneven gait.
>Aria glances at you as you step in front of the TV, and Adagio is following your movement over the edge of her book.
>You stand in front of Sonata for a long moment, willing yourself to just bend down and kiss her.
>You just have to keep in mind that Grandma is for sexual, and you'll be just fine.
>It occurs to you right at this moment that this is an extremely awkward position to try and kiss Sonata at.
>You're standing, she's sitting, and you're going to have to either crawl into her lap or bend over at the waist like you're about to take something right up your asshole.
>Maybe you should come back lat-
>Before you can talk yourself out of it, you lurch forward and, as you predicted, crawl onto Sonata's lap in order to get closer to her.
>You can't see it, but Adagio has dropped her book and Aria isn't paying any attention to her TV show, and both of them are staring at you with looks of shock on their faces.
>You don't know how Sonata is reacting, because you've slammed your eyelids shut and mashed your face against her's.
>It's weird.
>You're kissing your Grandma and it's weird.
>It feels like you're in highschool again, and you're kissing a girl for the first time.
>It's rough, unsure and hesitant, and Sonata isn't responding to it.
>You can feel the eyes of Adagio and Aria burning holes into you, and you have no idea what to even do with that.
>After a moment, you pull away.
>You're left panting and blushing like a schoolgirl.
"I've decided to go with you," you say in between breaths, "When you leave for the new house? I wanna go with you."
>A distant part of your brain notes that Sonata is also blushing, and she's resting her hand on her chest like a southern belle.
>Part of you is very pleased about that.
"W-We can try and..."
>You swallow thickly.
"...make more sirens."
>Telling a group of people that you want to make them into mothers is HARD, okay?!
>A look of determination spreads on Sonata's face, and she grabs you by the front of your shirt (no-doubt to pull you close)
>But Adagio intervenes, slapping Sonata's hands away and replacing them with her own.
>"No, no, no, no!" she yammers rapidly, "Which one of us is the alpha in this pack? I get first kisses."
>Sonata pouts childishly.
>"But he already kissed me first!"
>Adagio shrugs as best she while holding onto you.
>"Doesn't count if he initiates it first. It's all ab-"
>Aria grabs you out of Adagio's grip and spins you around to face her.
>Her expression is a mixture of excitement and nervousness.
>"So, you're on board?" asks Aria.
>You nod at Aria.
>A grin splits her face and she takes a few big steps back.
>"Finally!"
>Aria yanks down her pants - which you've only just now noticed are leggings - around her knees and slides a familiar-looking phallus out of her pussy.
>A few strands of clear girlcum connect the vibrator with her swollen lips.
>"I don't need this $800 piece of trash anymore."
>Aria tosses the plastic cock into a corner (you swear, if she doesn't pick that thing up later) and sends a smoldering gaze your way.
>She makes absolutely no effort to pull her leggings back up; her swollen, perfectly smooth pussy is staring you right in the face.
>And you know what?
>Her clit IS the size of a grape.
>"I've got the real thing again," growls Aria.
>You can't help but stare at her in wonder.
>Was that fucking thing inside of her this entire time?
"How long has that been in th-"
>"Since I bought it."

----
And now, after nearly two months of writing this thing, we will FINALLY see the "sirin' " part of "Sirin' Sirens".
The are going to fuck now.
----

>Adagio grabs you by the front of your shirt and pulls you towards her, stretching out the cotton fabric of your t-shirt.
>Adagio's lips are plump and sweet, and her tongue tastes sweeter still.
>Her tongue immediately darts inside of your mouth, teasing and tasting you.
>It should be of no surprise; she's been alive for hundreds of years and is no newcomer to acts of intimacy.
>She swishes around, playing with your own tongue; once your mind catches up with what's happening, you begin to reciprocate Adagio's affections.
>Her mouth tastes like sweet orange juice... or maybe peach juice?
>It's hard to focus on little details like that when your mind begins to drift away and you get more into this make-out session.
>Strangely enough, Adagio eventually starts to focus her attention onto your pointed canine teeth.
>Her tongue swirls around them, grinding onto the sharp tips almost fervently.
>Every once in awhile, she'll rub the length of the tooth with the very tip of her tongue.
>...
>Is...
>Is that a siren thing?
>Should you be doing that too?
>You tentatively begin to explore Adagio's mouth with purpose.
>Her sharp canine teeth are not hard to find, considering how many seem to be stuffed into her mouth.
>Adagio makes a very pleased noise in her throat when you try to imitate what she did to you, and she begins stroking your cheek.
>Encouraged by Adagio's response, you decided to mimic the way she ground her tongue against the tip of your canIOHGODNO
"Hrmph!"
>You jerk back in surprise, pulling away from Adagio as quickly as you can and slapping a hand over your mouth.
>You just damn-near impaled your tongue on one of Adagio's teeth!
>Your libido drops like your willingness to donate blood as soon as the needle comes out.
"Okay," you say, muffled behind your hand, "We're finished with that."
>Adagio, to her credit, has the decency to wince and smiles at you apologetically.
>"Whoops."
>Whoops?
>Fuck you.
>"Here, let me check that out..."
>Adagio reaches out for your mouth, but you bat her hand away and give her the stink-eye.
>Really, you have nobody to blame but yourself for this.
>You SAW the way your siren grandmothers decimated that fish.
>[spoiler]Poor bastard had done nothing wrong.[/spoiler]
>"Anon," she sighs, sounding exasperated, "Quit being a baby and let..."
>She stops mid-sentence and just sort of... stares at you.
>Those purple eyes, identical to her sisters'.
>You see those exact same every morning when you look in the bathroom mirror.
>And right now, they're filled with something tender.

>"Anon?"
>Adagio's voice sounds a lot more gentle this time.
>"I'm sorry, okay? Sometimes I forget that you don't know these things."
>Adagio slowly reaches out and takes your hand; the one not protecting your mouth.
>"A siren's teeth are sharp for ripping and tearing apart prey, and it takes a tremendous amount of trust for one siren to put their tongue..."
>A blush momentarily colours Adagio's cheek bones.
>"...or another part of their body, anywhere near another siren's teeth."
>Still holding your hand, she slowly reaches out and grabs the one covering your mouth; you don't resist when she pulls your hand away.
>"It's a very intimate act that only siren lovers do; that's why I got so excited when you reciprocated."
>Adagio gently tugs on both of your hands, and you let yourself be pulled towards her.
>You don't resist when she closes her eyes and presses her lips against yours again.
>Maybe this time will be different.
>You prod at her lips with your tongue, and Adagio doesn't hesitate to let you in.
>Adagio squeaks when you prod the side of the tooth with your tongue, but you're unsure how to do much more without injuring yourself.
>To your surprise, Aria comes to the rescue.
>Aria stands behind Adagio, just off to the left, and waves at you; you can't turn your head to look at her, but you can clearly see her by moving your eyeballs.
>She reaches out somewhere behind Adagio's head to grab something, and then pulls Sonata into view.
>To your tremendous surprise, Aria grips Sonata's shoulders and pulls her sister into a kiss.
>A big, sloppy, open-mouthed kiss.
>What.
>You gasp and wriggle in shock, which Adagio seems to take to mean that you're enjoying the kiss, because she releases your hands and wraps her arms around the back of your neck.
>Her long tongue is a flurry of action, meaning that the weird tooth-stroking thing has picked up.
>Sonata looks just as surprised as you feel, but she very quickly recovers and brings her hands down onto Aria's hips, and really starts to get into the kiss.
>For a few long (and HARD) seconds, you watch as Aria and Sonata make out.
>Brother, it is one of the most erotic things you've ever seen the sirens do.
>Maybe this 'no incest taboo' thing isn't so bad.
>Aria opens one of her eyes and sticks her finger into her mouth, hooking it under her lip.
>She gently tugs her lip back and reveals the inner-workings of a proper siren-kiss.
>You can't help but feel slightly disappointed when you realize that the nature of her and Sonata's coupling is educational.

>Aria sends you a glare (as best she can with one eye while she kisses her sister) and darts her eyes downwards to her mouth over and over, indicating where you should be looking.
>As you watch Aria's tongue dance across Sonata's teeth, you do your best to imitate it with Adagio.
>You drag the tip of your tongue along the length of one of Adagio's sharp teeth - just like Aria showed you - and, to your immense surprise, Adagio actually moans in pleasure.
>You pick another sharp tooth at random (God knows there are more than enough of them to keep you occupied) and rub your tongue against the pointed tip as tenderly as possible.
>Adagio opens her eyes and stares into your own pair, gently nipping at the tip of your tongue and rubbing her nose against yours.
>You tense up, waiting for your aunt to give you an unwanted tongue piercing...but the moment never arrives.
>...
>You think you can see what Adagio meant about trust being a big factor in this thing.
>You close your eyes and relax.

>Your great-aunt breaks the kiss with a loud, wet -"Mwah!"-, leaving you feeling breathless, flustered, and rather hot under the collar.
>Holy shit.
>If you had any doubt about getting intimate with any of the sirens before...
>Adagio turns to look at her sisters, looking very satisfied and wiping the saliva from her lips with the back of her hand.
>"Alright, girls," she announces, sounding positively smug, "He's all yours."
>Sonata claps her hands like an excited child (which is something you find incredibly adorable) and skips over to you as Adagio walks over and stands near Aria.
>"Oh, finally!"
>She in front of you and grabs hold of your hands, practically vibrating as she holds them against her chest.
>Her purple eyes are filled with excitement and affection.
>"I'm so happy you got past that dumb human 'incest tattoo' thing, Nonny!" she chirps
>Adagio leans over to Aria and whispers in her ear.
>"Did she mean 'taboo'?"
>Aria shrugs and whispers back.
>"I have no idea."
>Sonata continues on, oblivious to her sister's discussion.
>"Oh, I'm so excited!" she squeaks, squeezing your fingers so hard that it almost hurt, "We're gonna have a big house, and we're all gonna live together, and we're all gonna be happy, and we're all gonna sleep in one huge bed-"
>You know a Sonata excitement-loop when you see one, and decide to interrupt this one before she circles back around to 'living in a big house' again.
>You tug your hands (still holding Sonata's) towards yourself and pull her forward, meeting her halfway with kiss.
>Sonata squeaks into your mouth, but it quickly turns into a moan as she returns the gesture
>Sonata's releases a shuddering breath through her nose as you do your best to apply what Aria taught you.
>This tooth-thing is fucking weird. For real.
>Sonata pulls back just long enough for her to dart forward and peck you on the nose.
>"Did it work? Did the romance thingy work?"
>You gulp down a mouthful of saliva.
"Y-Yeah," you reply, "It sure did."

>You feel hands grip your shoulders from behind and someone's face press into the back of your head.
>"You ready for a night of lovin', stud?"
>You shiver as Aria's hot breath plays across the nape of your neck.
>Aria squeezes your shoulders and nuzzles your hair.
>"Ohhh..." she shudders, pressing her naked crotch against your ass, "You're gonna get me so fuckin' pregnant tonight, Anonymous..."
>You gulp thickly, suddenly finding your tongue several times too large for your mouth.
"Y-You too..."

----------------

>The trip from your living-room to your bed is quick and uneventful; as is the shedding of everyone's clothes.
>It's a simple setup: Adagio is sitting behind Sonata, and Aria is pressing her breasts up against your shoulder blades.
>It's a little bit weird, but your siren family assured you that you'll all enjoy it this way.

>Sonata is on top of you before you finish getting your underwear off, sitting on your lap and grinding her naked pussy against your (unfortunately-clothed) groin.
"Hnng!"
>Jesus-fucking-Christ, if she keeps this up, you're gonna cum right in your underwear.
"S-Sonata!" you choke out, all this stimulation making it difficult to breathe properly, "Slow down!"
>Your hands twitch restlessly on Sonata's thighs.
"I'm gonna blow my top if you don't slow the fuck down!"
>Sonata shuts her eyes and shakes her head.
>"Noooo~"
>Sonata whines pitifully, rubbing herself against you almost desperately.
>Something hot and wet spreads on your groin, and your precum-drooling cock twitches dangerously when you realize that it's Sonata's juices.
>Adagio winks at you from over Sonata's shoulder, and then wraps her arms around her sister's tummy.
>"Honey," she coos, hugging Sonata from behind, "You said you wanted to enjoy this, right?"
>Sonata screws up her face and takes a couple of ragged breaths, and then nods.
>Adagio's sharp teeth seem to flash as she smiles predatorily.
>"Good..."
>Adagio rests her head on Sonata's shoulder and nuzzles her cheek.
>"Try to be patient, okay?"
>She slides one of her hands up and down Sonata's belly, making sure that she still has a firm hold on her with the other.
>Sonata swallows thickly and then nuzzles Adagio back.
>"O-Okay, 'Dagi..."
>Jesus, these girls.

>You knew that sirens had no real concept of incest, but seeing Adagio and Sonata together like this so intimately is doing amazing things to your boner.
>You've never been more turned on in your life.
>Adagio peers behind you to where Aria is sitting and nods at her.
>"Aria? Give Anon a hand, would you?"
>Aria's sultry laughter is your only warning before a hot, wet tongue is dragged across your cheek.
>"Gladly, Adagio."
>Aria's hand snake around your bare torso and get to work on your underwear.
>Honestly, you aren't sure what you had expected her to do.
>You're sitting down on a bed, and Sonata is sitting on top of you; these are not exactly prime conditions for you to be able to shimmy out of your undies.
>Without warning, Aria grips the elastic waistband of your boxers and TUGS as hard as she can.
>There's a brief moment of pain as you receive the worst wedgie of your life, and then your (thankfully low-quality) underwear RIPS right off of you.
>To your credit you only screamed a little bit, and it was out of surprise rather than any real pain
>With a wet smack that sounded much louder than it should have, your now-freed cock slaps against the length of Sonata's pussy.
>It's so much warmer than it was when she was just grinding against your underwear.
"Oh, f-fuck!"
>You think you just came a little bit.
>Sonata whimpers and bites her finger, looking down at way her pussy is now hot-dogging your cock.
>"N-Nonny," Sonata whines, wriggling around helplessly, "C'mon and shove it in meee~"
>Adagio stops rubbing Sonata's tummy and instead settles for hugging her from behind.
>"Be patient, Sonata," she chides teasingly, "Anon will fuck you in just a minute, okay?"
>Adagio kisses Sonata's jaw, and the blue girl seems to calm down a bit; her body relaxes and her breathing is much less erratic.

>Adagio hums for a moment and then starts up her belly-rubbing again.
>"Besides," she adds, almost as an afterthought, "Didn't you want your first time with Anon to be 'romantic'?"
>Sonata nuzzles Adagio's cheek desperately, as though doing so gave her strength.
>"Next time, 'Dagi!"
>She looks down at you and licks her lips.
>"I promise it'll be romantic next time, Nonny. For realsies!"
>Adagio looks down at your crotch, smiling widely at the sight of Sonata's pussy drooling all over your member.
>"Aria? My hands are full right now."
>Adagio slides a hand up and cups one of Sonata's breasts.
>"Would you mind giving Anon and Sonata a little bit of help?"
>You nearly jump in surprise as one of Aria's hands slides down your own stomach; you'd been so caught up in the sensation of cock-on-pussy that you hadn't even realized that Aria had been hugging you from beHIOHFUCK
>You meet almost zero resistance as Aria slides your length inside of Sonata; there is only heat and pressure.
>Your great-grandmother lets out a quiet wail as soon as you enter her; noiseless at first, but growing louder as gravity takes hold and she sinks further down onto your cock.
>"Ooh!" purrs Aria, nuzzling the top of your head, "I think she liked that, Anonymous."
>Aria leans down and nibbles on the tip of your earlobe.
>"Don't you think so?"
"I... O-Oh, fu-hng..."
>Your brain is shorting out from the pleasure.
>"Yeah, me too," agrees Aria cheerfully, giggling at your predicament.
>Sonata's pussy is indescribable.
>It's probably just the thrill of finally having sex with someone who had been (and still is) classified as "family" in your head, but Sonata's pussy feels different than any other girl's.
>Tighter; hotter; wetter.
>Somehow able to clutch and squeeze in ways that no Earth-bound vagina should be able to do.

>"Anon?"
>You're broken out of your pleasure-induced trance by Adagio's voice.
>Her face is bright red, and she looks like she's enjoying this almost as much as Sonata is.
>"Did you know that Sonata stopped playing with herself ever since you two had that bath together?"
>Sonata's eyes flutter open, and you finally remember to start moving.
>You get as good a hold on Sonata's ass as you can and thrust as well as you can from a sitting position.
>"A whole week of being all pent-up," continues Adagio, idly playing with Sonata's breasts, "All because she wanted this to feel as good as it cou-oh!"
>Adagio is interrupted by Sonata, who darts forward towards you and out of Adagio's loose grip.
>With shaking hands, your great-grandmother wraps her arms around your shoulders and pulls you against her in a sweaty hug.
>A part of you is thankful that Sonata isn't speaking right now; anything that would come out of her mouth at this point would just end up sounding like dialogue stolen straight from some bizarre hentai comic.
>Then again, the way she's panting and moaning into your ear more than makes up for it.
>Your bedsprings groan dangerously under Sonata's onslaught on your dick; bouncing, wriggling, grinding...
>Suddenly, you feel Adagio wedge her hands in between you and Sonata's chest.
>"C'mon, Sonata," she says, sounding amused, "Don't you want Anon to do something with your breasts?"
>Sonata reluctantly releases you and lets herself get pulled back into Adagio's chest.
>Adagio winks at you and bounces one of Sonata's tits in her hand.
>"Come and get'em, champ."
>You've been waiting for this moment for a long time.
>Grandma 'Nata's tiddies are right here in front of you, and you're finally allowing yourself to do something about it.
>Much in the same way that Aria's ass is one of the best you've ever seen, Sonata's tits have immediately become your absolute favourite pair.

>They've got weight to them, but not so much that they sag.
>They're firm and retain their shape.
>And the pair of nipples on them are perk and erect, and look absolutely perfect for sucking on.
>Sonata coos when you latch onto her big, suckable nipple with your lips.
>Adagio smiles indulgently and strokes Sonata's cheek, while Aria busies herself planting kisses and gentle bites on your shoulder and neck.
>You vaguely remember something about sirens and teeth, but you're too busy tending to Sonata's breasts to think too hard about it.
>"Does that feel good, honey?" asks Adagio.
>Sonata squeaks and nods her head desperately.
>"Mm-hmm!"
>Adagio bites her bottom lip and nips gently at the blue girl's neck, making her gasp and writhe.
>Sonata reaches out for you with desperate, shaking hands and pulls your face firmly against her chest.
>After a few moments of suckling, you drag your tongue across it and playfully nip at it with your teeth.
>"Oh!" Sonata squeaks, clutching at your hair, "Oh, k-keep doing that!"
>Sonata squeaks every time you bottom out inside of her.
>Each impact of your hips (accompanied by the satisfying wet smack of flesh-on-flesh) makes her breasts jiggle.
>"We're gonna have so many babies together, Nonny!" Sonata says almost reverently, red-faced, "Fuck a baby into me! Make me pregnant!"
>The dirty talk is too much for you.
>Your balls tighten and that all-too familiar pressure rises in your groin.
>Desperately, you bury yourself as deep as you can within Sonata's heavenly pussy.
>You end up pushing the spongy head of your cock right up against the entrance to your grandmother's womb.
"Hnnnnng..."
>Your stomach muscles clench almost painfully as your orgasm overtakes you.
>The sheer pleasure renders you voiceless.
>The amount of cum pouring out of your poor balls is so astounding that it feels like you're pissing your seed into Sonata.

>Sonata holds onto you tightly as the aftershocks of your respective orgasms fade away to nothing.
>You're vaguely aware of Adagio and Aria disengaging themselves from the both of you and slipping away, letting you and Sonata cuddle in peace.
>Sonata collapses on top of you, forcing you to lean back onto your (now wet) bed.
>Sonata kisses you gently, smiling sweetly at you; almost shyly, in fact.
>"It'll be romantic next time, Nonny," she promises, relaxing against you and burying her face in the crook of your neck.
>You and Sonata are quiet for a long time as you let yourselves recover and enjoy each other's presence.
"Do you think you...?"
>It seems silly to have trouble saying it out loud after having sex with her, but you're having trouble asking Sonata if she thinks you just made her pregnant.
>"I hope so."
>Sonata giggles and nuzzles her face against your neck.
>"But there's nothing stopping us from trying again if I'm not."

------------------------------------------------

>You are Anon, and it's time to get on Aria's case about something.
>You approach the siren's bedroom door and ponder what that really means to you.
>You're all... what do you call yourselves?
>Not "a couple", that's for sure; there are more than two of you.
>A group?
>A herd?
>A school?
>[spoiler]B-Because the sirens are fish... g-get it?[/spoiler]
>[spoiler]I'm going to kill myself.[/spoiler]
>Point is, you're all fucking each other, and you like to think that that means you can open any goddamned door in your own house as you please and without permission.
>You have a job, you pay your taxes; you can do whatever you like.
>Feeling your dick swell with house-ownerly pride, you grab the bedroom doorknob and yank the door wide open.
>...and promptly dissolve into a giggle-fit.
>"A-Anonymous?! Get out! Knock next time!"
>Aria grabs a pillow and clutches it protectively to her chest, trying to cover as much of herself as possible.
>Sitting curled up on her bed, Aria is clad in purple-and-cyan footie jammies.
>They even have little pom-pom things on the toes.
>It's the cutest fucking thing you've ever seen.
"A-Aria?!" you choke out in between laughs as you double over in laughter, "What're you even w-wearing?"
>"Shut up!" she screeches as her face turns bright red, "It... it was a birthday present from S-Sonata!"
>Aria takes the pillow clutched to her chest and throws it at you as hard as she can.
>Unfortunately you're too busy laughing to dodge, and it hits you square in the face.
>"It's cold in here, you ass!" she growls, sounding furious.
"Okay, okay!" you try to say placating, "I'm sorry! I-I wanted to talk to you!"
>Aria crosses her arms and pouts, grumbling darkly under her breath.
>By now, the embarrassment seems to have passed and Aria's face turns back to its regular purple shade.
>"Fuckin'... whatever, Anonymous. Get in here."
>Taking a moment to calm your breathing down, you trot into Aria's bedroom and close the door behind you.
"Seriously though," you say, turning around to shut the door, "I think you look really cute."
>With your back to your aunt, you don't see her grumpy expression soften.
>You don't see her eyes widen, her mouth gently open, nor her face heat up again.
>"Y-Yeah, well," she grumbles, tearing her gaze away from the back of your head, "I think you look really dumb."
>The door clicks shut, and you finally turn around to face Aria.
"I love you too, Aria," you say sardonically, shooting her a grin.
>Aria just shakes her head and snorts with disgust.
>"Whatever," she says, patting the mattress next to her, "Sit down, already."
>You crawl onto the mattress and plant your ass about a foot away from your aunt.
>Much like she is, you sit with your back leaning against the wall.
>Right when you're about to open your mouth to start talking, Aria begins to move.
>Aria plants her hands on the mattress and pushes herself closer to you.
>You get nudged over slightly as she pushes her shoulder against yours, trying to find a comfortable position as close to you as she possibly can.
>The squeaking of the mattress finally settles down as Aria stops moving, and you find yourself pressed up against her; hips and shoulders touching.
>You turn to look at her, but find her studiously ignoring you; instead, she seems content to stare at the wall across from the two of you as though it were the most interesting sight in the world.
>"So," she says, breaking the silence, "What did you want?"
>You join her in staring at the wall as the magnitude of your question washes over you.
>You can do this, Anon.
>All you gotta do is come face-to-face with the terrifying issues of your possible immortality.
>You clear your throat and struggle to come up with what to say; all the words seem to have left your head.
"W-Well..."
>It's a simple question; "Will I never die, Aria?"
"Will I, uhh..."
>Your heart beats painfully against your ribcage, and you're finding it difficult to remember how to breath.
>You never thought it was possible to get light-headed while still sitting down.
>What is this horrible crushing feeling in your chest, and why does it feel like abject terror?
>You don't even realize it, but your hands have begun shaking.
>Aria has noticed this, however, and her attention has turned from the interesting wall to your face.
>You can't see it, but Aria actually looks sort of worried.
>"Anonymous?"
>Her voice is uncharacteristically soft.
"M-Maybe we should, y'know..." you say, plowing on, "C-Cuddle."
>Shit.
>That wasn't what you wanted to say.
>That wasn't what you wanted to say at all.
>You wince internally and wonder if Aria will buy it.
>Slowly and unsteadily, you turn your head away from the wall and over to Aria's face.
>You catch the tail end of an expression approaching "concern", before it's replaced by Aria's usual grumpy "It's 10 AM and I'm already tired of being around people" look.
>Aria quirks an eyebrow and gives you a distinctly unimpressed look.
>This time you wince in real life; you get the feeling that she does not at all believe the bullshit you're peddling.
>"You wanna cuddle, huh?" she asks flatly.
>She runs a hand through her hair, pushing her loose locks (free of their ponytails) out of her eyes with her fingers.
>After a long, awkward moment, she shrugs.
>"Yeah, okay."
>Aria shoves her hand behind your back and pushes you forward, and then grabs you by both of your shoulders.
>Effortlessly, she spins you around and pushes you further down the mattress so that you're lying down on your side.
>Before you know it, Aria has her arms wrapped around your stomach and is hugging you from behind.
>"But I," she says into your ear, putting emphasis on 'I', "get to be the big spoon.
>You're surprised when you feel a kiss being pressed into the back of your head.
>"And I'll be waiting to hear what was ACTUALLY bothering you later, Anonymous."
>Her arms momentarily tighten around your chest, nearly squeezing the air out of you.
>"No, seriously," she says roughly, "I expect an answer later."
>And with that, she wraps her legs around your knees and wriggles against your back.
>Things could be worse.

Later that night.

>"Hey."
>FUCK
>Aria's voice breaks the silence of the kitchen, and the unexpected surprise is enough to make you lose your grip on your glass of water.
>Fortunately for you, you dropped it directly into the kitchen sink.
>You reflexively reach out futilely, but are unable to save it.
>The unfortunate glass shatters upon impact, sending water and shards of glass all over the sink.
>Aria watches you try to save the glass and chokes out a bark of laughter.
>"Sick reflexes, Anonymous," she giggles, hand over her mouth.
"Fuck you."
>Much like reaching for the glass, your response was more of a reflex or instinct honed from weeks and weeks of living with your siren relatives, and your voice lacked any real heat or acid.
>Aria picks that up right away, of course, and she saunters over to you.
>She makes a point a deliberately swinging her hips as she walks.
>Those pyjama pants (regular ones; no footie jammies this time) stretch tight across her generous bottom, and seem to be in danger of ripping wide open.
>You'd be tempted to slip your hands in and grab her plump rump, but you aren't sure there's enough room for your fingers to fit.
>Aria stops when she's about a foot away from you, and the smirk never leaves her face.
>"Tell you what, hot shot, "she purrs mirthfully, gently patting you on the cheek, "I'll pay you back in blowjob dollars."
>Aria rests her hand on your cheek, effectively cupping it as she stares at you.
>She almost seems reluctant to slide her hand off of your face.
>"So," she says, finally pulling her hand back, "What are you doing up this late, Anonymous?"
>You nudge your head in the direction of the sink and give Aria an unamused look.
"Thirsty." you deadpan, "You?"
>Aria just shrugs and leans back, bracing herself on your kitchen counter.
>Her modest chest juts forward enticingly.
>"Had to pee."
>...
"...in the kitchen?"
>Aria snorts and smirks at you.
>"Girls are complicated, Anonymous."
>You tilt your head.
"Apparently."
>You stare at each other for a long moment before you speak up.
"Aria, listen, about last night."
>Aria nods sagely.
>"That thing you were too much of a pussy to bring up, right?"
"Ri-"
>You clamp your jaw closed so quickly that your teeth audibly -CLACK-.
"F-Fuck you."
>Aria grins and ruffles your hair affectionately.
>"Later," she promises, "Now, what's up?"
"It's about that thing you brought up the first time we had sex. You said that our..."
>You dart your eyes down to Aria's exposed midsection momentarily, imagining that you can almost see a little bump forming.
"...our hypothetical offspring would be siren enough to be immortal."
>You tear your eyes back up to Aria's face; she seems mostly unaffected by your wandering gaze.
>"Yeah, probably," she says thoughtfully, brows furrowed, "They'd be pure-blooded enough for that, I think."
"What..."
>Your mouth is dry, and you swallow nervously.
>You trail off as you struggle to put your existential crisis into words.
"What does that mean for me? Do I have enough siren genes to be immortal too?"
>Aria's eyes narrow in concentration as she takes in your features.
"You left, and then I tried not to think about it. I've been trying to figure out how to ask this ever since you got back."
>You feel a headache forming in between your eyes, and your vision swims for just a moment.
"A-Am I just never gonna die?!"
>Aria reach out and places her palms on your cheeks. She gently moves your head so that you're looking her in the eyes.
>"Hey, hey," coos Aria, "Calm down."
>Her voice is uncharacteristically soft. If you didn't know any better, you'd say she sounds concerned.
>"Listen. Don't you go having a panic attack on me, okay? Sonata will beat my ass if she thinks I made you freak out."
>You choke out a strangled laugh; there's the Aria you know and love.
>Er... the Aria you know and think she's alright, you guess.
>"I don't know."
>Well, fuck.
>"Me and my sisters have had kids in the past, and as far as we know they've all died from either old age or being stabbed in the back because they were a bunch of assholes."
>Aria looks away ruefully, still maintaining a gentle hold on your face.
>"There are an unfortunate number of shallow graves that mark the final resting place of our kids," she says, sounding unhappy, "They got all the siren stuff from us, but none of the patience required to use them."
>She sighs and moves her hands from your cheeks down to your back.
>"Look, just... just..."
>Aria holds you against her chest, sounding so far out of her element that it isn't even funny.
>"Just shut up and take deep breaths. I swear to Celestia, Anonymous, if you pass out on me..."

---

>A few minutes later, you're still feeling awful.
>It felt great to get that all off your chest, but the lack of a solid answer is still weighing down on you.
>You're sitting on the three-person couch over in the living-room, and Aria is crouching in between your legs.
>She's been slowly undressing you, and the lewd smile on her face really gives you the impression that this just might be her favourite part.
>"Take it easy, Anonymous. Let Aria take care of things, okay?"
>Aria's smile widens at the sight of your cock springing up out of your underwear.
>"Let me show you that I have the best mouth out of all three of us..."
>Without breaking eye-contact, Aria slaps her flat tongue in between your testicles and ever-so slowly drags it up towards the tip of your cock.

---

>Be Sunset Shimmer
>Be having trouble sleeping
>It's been weeks since that new siren showed up, and you're still no closer to solving the mystery than you were the day you met him.
>Who is he?
>What is he doing here?
>When did he get here on Earth?
>The "who" is easy enough to answer with the limited information you've got; he's "Anon", and he's the cousin of Aria, Adagio, and Sonata.
>The other two, though...
>As near as you can tell, Anon isn't doing ANYTHING.
>He didn't help the other sirens at the Battle of the Bands, and any ancient history text that references the sirens doesn't say a Celestia-damned word about him.
>That leaves the biggest question, actually; when did he get here?
>If he got here BEFORE the Battle of the Bands, then why didn't he help out Sonata, Aria, and Adagio?
>If he were useful to them, then you can bet your cutie mark that they'd use him to win.
>You snort in disgust and roll over onto your side.
>You think you know those three sirens pretty well by now, and you know how ruthless and cruel they can be; if he could help them, then they wouldn't hesitate to use him.
>Going by that logic, this "Anon" must have been useful some other way; just out of sight.
>You know that they didn't drag him in from Equestria any time after YOU arrived on Earth, because you and your friends have been watching that dumb statue at school like a griffon watching over her eggs.
>You would KNOW if those sirens had brought anypony through.
>That means that they didn't drag him through AFTER the Battle of the Bands.
>That really only leaves the option that they've been using him for something this entire time.
>Now... what would three siren women use a siren male for?
>...
>You snort as your sleepy thoughts sluggishly catch up with you.
>What, they're gonna fuck him?
>You rub your eyes and roll over onto your side.
"As if."
>He's their cousin, for Celestia's sake.
>"BIG BOOTY BITC-"
>You yelp in surprise as your phone jitters to life.
>Startled and not expecting a phone call this late at night, you squirm around under your covers until you manage to free one of your arms and slap your phone's "shut the fuck up" button.
>You bring the device over to your face, squinting at the bright light.
>It's...
>...a message from 'Aria Blaze'?
"Me an' my beau... You mad?"
>There's a picture.
>It's...
>IT'S...
>...a selfie of Aria and Anon?
>And she's got his cock in her mouth?!
>B-But he's their cousin!
>...
"Sweet Celestia."
>The realization hits you like a royal pegasus-drawn carriage and you bolt upright, eyes wide.
>They've been using him as a sex slave.
>All these hundreds and hundreds of years, they've kept Anon locked away and used him as relief.
>He never ages, he never dies, and their mind-control magic means that he'll never betray them.
>He's a rape victim.
>You look down at the picture on your phone's tiny screen again.
>That smug sparkle in Aria's eyes is sickening, and it almost looks like she's trying to smile despite her lips stretched tight and her mouth stuffed full of cock.
>You shake your head and look away; you don't have the heart to look at the photo any longer.
"That poor bastard."
>You swing your legs out of bed and decide to go make some coffee.
>You feel sick to your stomach, and you certainly won't be able to fall asleep tonight.

---

>You are Anon, and you're a tiny little bit late for work.
>Last night with Aria might have kept you up until somewhat of an unreasonable hour, and you MIIIIIHGT have arrived at work about two hours after your shift began.
>"Anon!"
>Flim (or is it Flam?) pops out from nowhere from your left and wraps a lanky arm around your shoulders, and pulls you into a chummy side-hug.
>>"Pal!"
>Flam (Flim? Which one has the mustache, again?) appears on your right side and does the same thing, effectively trapping you in a very awkward hug with your bosses.
>"Buddy!"
>>"Amigo!"
>"Comrade!"
>>"Friend of mine!"
>"And mine, too!"
>>"I couldn't help but notice you're a little late this morning, friendo."
>You wince, thinking back to your encounter with Aria.
>"You smell a little funky, too. You're not letting personal time with your girlfriend get in the way of company time, are you?"
>Fuck.
>Your bosses babble happily as they frog-march you over to their shared office.
>They gently shove you into a chair, and then walk around to the other side of their one long desk and sit down.
>"Anon, you've been working with us for a long time."
>>"Years!"
>"Years."
>>"Years." concludes mustache-boss with faux-solemn emphasis.
>"And you've done a lot of good work."
>>"Tonnes."
>Clean-shaven-boss gestures to a wall taken up by filing cabinets.
>"Literal tangible piles of good work."
>>"But..."
>"...thing is, Anon, your performance has suffered recently."
>>Mustache-boss nods in agreement.
>>"It's not great."
>"It could be better."
>>"Not up to your standards.
>"Not up to OUR standards."
>>"The 'Flim&Flam Consulting' standards."
>Clean-shaven boss tilts his head.
>"You seem... distracted, Anon."
>>"And we can't have our employees be distracted."
>"Distraction hurts business."
>>"Like that time you lost us that Apple contract."
>You wince visibly at the reminder; it had been one of your least proud moments at your time here at work.
>Stupid old biddy, not giving up Sweet Apple Acres to your big dumb bosses.
>Your bosses nod, seeing your reaction.
>"We know you aren't proud of that, Anon."
>>"Nobody here thinks that was your best work."
>"And we both know you're capable of much, much better."
>>"MUCH better."
>"Thing is... we're seeing repeats of that performance."
>>"Almost every single contract you've been given has been very rough."
>"We've nearly lost clients because of you."
>>"Don't take it too personally, Anon."
>"You're a nice guy."
>>"The sort of guy we'd go watch the footballs and drink beer with."
>"If we were friends."
>>"IF we were friends."
>"But we're not."
>>"We are employer and employee."
>"FORMER employer."
>>"FORMER employee."
>"We're sorry pal; really we are."
>>"We feel SUPER bad about this."
>"But we're gonna have to let you go."
>>"By that we mean we're firing you."
>"Get the FUCK out of our office."
>>"RIGHT out."
>"It's only Tuesday, but we'll give you a full week's pay."
>>"'Cause we're nice like that."
>...
>D-Did...
>Did you just get fired?