>Ponyville is difficult to adjust to
>There are a multitude of civil codes to abide by
>Events that need sponsorship
>Weather patterns to anticipate, thanks to the weather ponies
>There is no real police force but social ostracization tends to stop any mare-do-wells from excessive damage
>You thought it was 'ne'er-do-well'
>These ponies do love their puns
>You sigh and flip through the town's civic code book again
>"How are we doing, Anonymous?"
"Fantastic, Mayor... uh..."
>"Oh, Mayor Mare is fine. I can understand that our ways are a little unusual for you."
>You don't really know how you popped up here but you sure scared the wits out of nearly every creature you came across
>The mayor of Ponyville was the only one who had the balls to corral you into the town civic center
>Not like you were all that violent or difficult to handle
"...right. Yeah, I'll say it's exotic to say the least. I was never much of a civil servant so these are kinda exhausting to read. But it really isn't that different from home."
>Given your lack of options, you've insisted on trying to read up and learn on everything you could
>You aren't a deeply educated man, but you have the capacity to learn
>Maybe that'll help convince them to not have you executed or left in a cave
>Thankfully there are zero codes or regulations that endorse violence
>But there are codes that handle on large mammalian creatures that invade town
>You gotta ask her about that some time
>She trots up to you, smiling
>"Well I am happy for that! I must say, you gave everypony a mighty fright! It's not often we get such unique visitors, especially one that doesn't communicate with growls, snarls or roars!"
>Whatever genuine jitters she had vanished after you proved to be a civilized man
>"What more, you seem to be hungry for the most advanced of reading materials! I can't remember the last time I've shared the town codes with someone willingly!"
>You can't possibly imagine why
>"Well except for that Canterlot scholar... but she's always playing around with her friends and getting into Celestia-knows-what..."
>That mutter is flavored more with amusement than irritation
"Canterlot, Ponyville... who named all of your places, anyway?"
>She laughs off the question, nudging her glasses with her front hoof
>"Anyway, how about you call things finished for today? You've been cooped up here for... how long, again?"
"Too long. But I can't really go out and do anything without freaking out others, right?"
>"That is... well, yes, that may be true. But not for long! You see, I've been planning a new speech!"
>She sounds pretty proud of that
"About me?"
>"Yes, that's right! By the end of the week, I want to officially offer you citizenship to Ponyville!"
"But why?"
>Without thinking of how to react, you blurt out the first thing that comes to mind
>She laughs at your stupefied reaction with an 'oh ho ho ho'
>"Simple! Think of what we could accomplish together! Ponyville has always prided itself on bringing together the most unique of ponies. Add on that we have a budding fashionista, a popular bakery, the venerable Sweet Apple Acres, and even Celestia's star pupil... having someone like you would bring in a lot more attention to our little town!"
>What are you supposed to be, a sideshow project?
"So... what am I supposed to bring to the table again?"
>If she has a grand scheme, you don't know where you fit into it
>"Everything! You can advertise, endorse, promote, perform, declare and more!"
>The glee she has betrays the grey of her mane and tail
>You really don't want to do it but you would feel bad for ruining that smile
"Well... crap. I guess when you put it like that... when do I start?
>"At the end of the week, when citizenship is declared and finalized! Oh, I'm so excited! Wait here, they're the first draft of the forms but they'll set a new precedent all around Equestria!"
>You can't believe you could cause someone to be so giddy
>She spins around and trots off, her tail raised high
>Now, you aren't much of a veterinarian
>You hardly remember biology outside of benis goes into bagina and that mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell
>But you're pretty sure that she's definitely a female
>With a pair of pale brown and dark brown mottled testicles that jostle to and fro with every step
>You shouldn't say anything about it
>Don't say anything about it
"God damn."
>Whether it's from joy or your comment, Mayor's trot turns to a skip

>When she returns, you spend time going over it
>Mostly the wording
>It's consistent but also consistently flavorful and includes a lot of slogans
>Or what are probably attempts at future slogans
>It certainly reads like it's a first draft
>You ask questions and give comments nearly every other sentence
>By the end of it, she's said at least five times as much as the forms say
>She's proud of it, though
>Proud enough that any criticism you have is reworded to a vague question
>Being some foreign manimal creature in a town full of ponies does give you some wiggle room to play dumb
>"So... does that cover it all for you?"
"I think so... but do I really need to give a speech too?"
>"Of course! Why, it's your first public appearance. We must show everypony that you are smooth, articulate, dedicated to the betterment of our town, handsome..."
>She didn't notice that she said that but you did
"What was that last one?"
>She immediately catches herself with a wide smile
>"Dedicated to the betterment of our town?"
>She's been sitting opposite of you this entire time
>She smiles whenever you give her eye contact but every now and again you can't help but let your eyes wander down to her sack and sheath
"R.. right."
>The faint echoes of your voices in the room do a good job at making you feel like you're able to speak freely
"I'm not so great at subtlety so I'm just gonna ask it."
>"Why do I find you attractive?"
"Yes, but the other thing."
>"Why is it that no one but us is here on a regular basis?"
"... well I'd like to know that too. But the other thing."
>"Am I the only one with a body like this?"
"Well, yes. That's the one."
>She chuckles and turns her head to the side like she's trying to play coy
>"Well, since you are so bold as to ask.. I suppose it's Celestia's own blessing. It takes fortitude to enter politics. Some might even say it takes..."
"A very hefty pair."
>For once her camera-perfect smile evolves to a pleased grin
>"That's right. And I suppose, due to her gift and how in the public eye I am... well, it's left me alone more times than not."
>You have the feeling that this isn't something she's opened up about
>Her smirk retreats back into a mild smile
>"I hope you don't mind me being candid. I think you may very well be the first person I can talk to and know for sure that this won't end up in some tabloid or newsletter."
"Sure, I get it. Must get lonely."
>She giggles, visibly relaxing
>She leans back, exposing more of her lower half
>"Oh, it certainly does. Sure, there are meetings, charity drives, grand openings and more... but being there as a public figure is different from being there with someone personally."
"Oh yeah... no, I get you there. Back home, there are a ton of famous people. Thousands. The sorts where they can't just go out because if anyone recognizes them, who knows if they're nice to be nice or to get something in return."
>Her smile retreats a little more
>"I'm glad you understand, Anonymous. I really am. Since the day is starting to wind down and I normally go home at this point, would you like to...?"
>She leans to the side, raising up one of her hind legs by a few inches
>Your first instinct says that this is good
>But for some reason you don't seize the day
"How about some dinner or something nice?"
>You don't have the means to give anything resembling 'something nice' but you do want to do something nice
>She lowers her leg, almost in disappointment
"B-but not because I'm not interested. How about once I'm a citizen? It'll give us something to look forward to!"
>Though the situation is still awkward, she chuckles
>"I'll hold you to it. And then I'll hold YOU to IT."
"Sh'yeah, we'll see who holds what. I'll have you know that hands are better than hooves."
>You hold up your hands and wiggle your fingers
>"I will have you know that I am willing to debate you on it."
"Does this mean it's better that I win or you win?"
>She opens her mouth to speak but can't decide on what to say
>"...we'll just have to see."
>Whoever this Celestia is, you might have to thank her

>After some discussion on what Ponyville had to offer for cuisine, Mayor Mare decided on delivery
>Though you had nowhere to hide, you had to keep a large rug held up in front of you while she spoke to the delivery pony
>You didn't see anything but from what little you heard, news had spread fast that a new monster had come to terrorize Ponyville
>Worse, you think that your bulletproof method of hiding didn't work on her
>It was Mayor's idea anyway
>When the door shuts, you lower the rug
>You're kinda surprised at the dozen or so folding boxes of food
>Smells familiar
>"Well I know you're a very big sort, so I hope this is enough for you."
>Each box is actually pretty sizable
"You kidding? This may keep me going for quite a while. This didn't cost a lot, did it?"
>She sits opposite of you
>Half-laying down, actually
>"Oh, don't you worry about that. Being mayor does come with a very nice set of... benefits."
"Very nice set indeed."
>You poke through a number of the boxes
>Kinda smells spicy
>But...
"Say, what is this? Panda Express or something?"
>"Panda? Oh no, we ponies don't eat panda. It's Marexican."
>You squint at her
>She sits there like it's nothing
"...you're serious, aren't you."
>"Well they do the best when it comes to bulk orders. And I was planning on having them cater soon anyway so I told them that this was to ensure that their spot."
>She seems so nonchalant about it
>Going by her old-fashioned glasses and... neck accessory, she does seem like she's rather established
"Sneaky. Not bad. So do you really get competition for your role in town?"
>Of course, none of the food came with plasticware or chop sticks or anything
>So you just pluck food from the box and chow down on that
>Buttery, cheesy, melty
>Definitely Mexican food
>"Oh, no. Not really. Ponyville isn't all that big and to be honest? I don't think anypony else is honestly interested. It involves a lot of work sometimes. But we are pretty small and things tend to run themselves. Live and let live, right?"
>It's hard to say if she's trying to defend her position or be honest
>Probably a politician's reflex
"That's fair. It sounds like you're pretty level-headed. A lot of people let that type of stuff get to their head, you know?"
>She brings up her hoof to her mouth, laughing with a dignified 'ho ho ho ho'
>"You flatter me far too much, Anonymous! If you want to get into my good graces, you're doing a great job."
"What can I say, I just have the gift of gab."
>You are eating with your hands but you try to remain dignified about it
"Not to pry but... do you live nearby?"
>"Yes, but I don't think my home would accommodate you."
"That's a shame... not that I wanted to know, but still a shame."
>You switch to another box
>The variety really is a treat
"I ask because I don't want you to basically be locked in here. I may be, but I won't be going anywhere."
>Not only do you not have a place to go but you wouldn't want to face a horde of ponies that would be eager to topple you
"This stuff really is good too, those guys have a new fan."
>Between the crunching and talking, you've stopped trying to avoid watching her
>She smiles whenever you look at her face
>It's difficult to not smile back, as if you would try to stop yourself
>Whenever your view trails down, her leg lifts up again
>It's not enough that she has a pair that hangs down loose
>She also has a fairly sized pair of...
>Teats?
>Udders?
>You aren't one for anatomy
"Mammaries..."
>You mumble with a confident nod
>"What was that?"
>Only too late do you realize that you spoke out loud again
"A-ah, sorry. Was just thinking of how thirsty I was."
>You aren't looking away
>It's almost to the point that her leg is lifted up high
>Neither of you are pretending that you aren't gawking at her lower body
>"And what are you thirsty for...?"
>The purr in her voice is enough to make you feel downright parched
>You're tempted to ask for milk
"Water... water would be nice."
>You clear your throat
>Something has begun to grow from her sheath
>Very slowly
"I'm also open to something like whiskey. Booze between two new friends is a pretty comfortable custom, where I'm from."
>You finally tear your eyes away from her, down at the plain white box of food
>You chomped through all of it without meaning to
"...evidently I'm hungry too."
>"Oh I can tell. Don't mind me, I keep a nice bottle of high quality cider in my office. Don't go anywhere."
>She brings her leg up higher before rolling onto her hooves and taking off in a confident strut
>You don't exactly feel out of your depth
>But you're pretty sure something about you activates her almonds
>She returns with a satisfactory-sized bottle
>She sits next to you, on your right
>Certainly not across from you like before
>She sets the bottle down
>You're kinda weirded out by how she carried it by holding part of it in her mouth but that's probably normal with ponies
>That revelation makes you question how they made the food you were eating
>"Here's a bottle of one something from last autumn. Something so fine that even Celestia would have it on her birthday!"
>You pick it up
>How lucky is it that the writing is in English?
>Or maybe some magic is allowing you to read Pone-ese
>You're going to snap if that's the official written language
"So who's this Celestia figure?"
>"Well Princess Celestia is Equestria's Princess! She raises the sun, provides absolute rule and... well, she has a habit of stopping by unannounced. I think she likes to surprise us normal ponies."
>Absolutely none of that makes sense to you
"... well yeah. Naturally, right? So what, does she use magic or something?"
>"Precisely! The Ponyville codes don't cover much for magic but as an alicorn, she can do anything!"
"...what's an alicorn?"
>The more you ask, the more you believe that you are too sober for this
>You undo the wax covering the cork and pop it off
>It's pretty ergonomic
>"Well an alicorn is a very rare type of pony. Very few exist at all, and they live for centuries! Princess Celestia has the wings of a pegasus and the horn of a unicorn! It's really quite stunning to see her up front. But don't let the regal aura bother you, she's quite approachable."
>By the time she finishes, you've gulped down at least a full two mouthfuls
"This... this is a very unusual world to me. And I will insist that I will somehow screw things up royally."
>You hold out the bottle to the right
>You can feel her manipulate it with her mouth until she gulps down a solid amount
>She licks her lips and ends her drink with a satisfied 'ahh'
>"Oh, trust me. I've never been to Manehattan. Those city slickers deeply concern me. And then there are those odd, enigmatic zebras. To be honest, I think a pony we have here might be an alicorn in disguise, she seems to do whatever she pleases and I don't know how she does it."
>You take your turn drinking while she explains more of the world to you
>This stuff tastes pretty fantastic
>It's hard to believe that it's alcoholic
"Hah. Yeah? What's her name, 'Fritzy Blossom'?"
>Mayor's hoof goes up to your forearm, pulling the bottle down so she can have another gulp
>"Pinkie Pie. She's a pink pony that seems bent on breaking every rule in the book. That or her silly 'pinky sense' is real. I don't know how to classify her. She's a citizen. But she's also a natural disaster."
"HA! Of course it is... Pinkie Pie... ahhh... shit."
>The pair of you swap stories and commentary about the quirks and oddities of your appropriate worlds
>The more you listen to her, the more she seems to be the only normal one in a town full of absolute oddballs
>Evidently there are six ponies that live in Ponyville that have some sort of age-old elements of harmony
>It sounds completely absurd
>But so does everything else
>At least you tell her that
>Thankfully she agrees
>By the time the bottle is empty, you've had your arm wrapped around her body
>And a hand holding onto one of her orbs
>Your thumb has been casually petting across it
>Sometimes it stretches out to rub at one of her nipples
>"And you know the funniest part? It was just a doll!! One she cast a spell on!"
>The entire building rocks with your combined laughter
>You find a lot of it hard to believe
>Hell, you hardly believe any of it
>But here you are, groping a talking pony
>And you don't even feel all that bothered by it
>Neither is she, given she's been melting into you
"Ah... crap. What a world, eh?"
>"Oh, trust me, I know. So many things have changed. And so quickly too."
"And here I am, adding to it."
>"Ah hah... hmm... well, I don't mind it. But I thought we were going to wait until you gained citizenship?"
"We are. But don't mind me. I'm just..."
>"Enjoying yourself?"
"Yes."
>You give the orb a light squeeze
"I hope you don't mind."
>"I just wish you'd give the other some attention."
"D'oh... silly me."
>Without ceremony, you drag her into your lap
>Before she can react beyond a loud 'meep', you fill both of your hands with her
"Alright. Better?"
>She lets out a giggly laugh
>"Oh my. Should I get the second bottle out?"
"You have two bottles in your office?"
>"I have as many as I need."
>She's your kind of mare

>Somehow, you find yourself covered by a big blanket
>You're still sitting, legs crossed and back against the wall
>Did you fall asleep?
>Your vision still hazy, your hands twitch
>They're still full with something
>Or someone
>You grumble something out, failing to focus
>Just how much did you drink?
>You really aren't such a lightweight but you feel thrashed
>"Mmm... good morning, Anonymous. Ready for another day of studying?"
>You recognize that voice
>Your hands squeeze again
>"Oh my! Not even awake and already?"
>You manage to focus enough to speak up
"I'm not trying to juggle, I'm... what happened last night?"
>You can finally make out where you are
>You're still in the main room of the civic center
>Or mayor's building
>It's wherever she has the office and booze
>Of which there are three empty bottles among the boxes of food from last night
"Jesus... did we drink that much?"
>Mayor Mare smiled, writhing to grind her back against your chest
>"You were out halfway through the second bottle. Big bad creature like yourself and you can't handle a little top shelf cider?"
>If that's true, she drank that entire third bottle by herself
"I suppose not... so I take it you follow the rules of 'work hard, play hard'?"
>She nods and sighs
>Your hands squeeze again
>You aren't exactly going out of your way to do so
>But your hands are still full
>You don't exactly mind it
>Neither does she, since she hasn't moved
"This blanket is nice... but you didn't need to sleep with me. I'm sure you have a nice bed."
>"I do but I couldn't leave a guest alone either."
"I suppose I get that."
>"You were also crying about missing home so I couldn't leave you stranded."
"Oh man..."
>If that's true, that's embarrassing
>You finally slide your hands out from under her
>She leans back, granting you freedom that much easier
"So now that I'm not so much of a novelty... what's the daily life like around here?"
>You flip the blanket off and stretch your arms up and out
>Mayor rolls off of you, taking a few steps before shaking and stretching
>Despite the grey mane, she moves perfectly fine
>On top of her hefty pair of mayoral responsibilities swaying and jostling, her gavel looks to be at half-mast too
>Her breasts, as low as they are, make the entire area one big erogenous zone
"Whew lass. Well... thanks for keeping me company."
>"Anytime, dear."
>She sounds happy
"Listen, I'm not stuck in this one room... am I? I get that I kinda have to be careful but I can't spend a full week in one room just... reading the same stuff over and over again."
>Mayor turns to you and chuckles
>"Goodness Anonymous, no! I'm not some stalker and you aren't some prisoner. Besides, if you are to become a citizen, you need to know where everything is!"
>Thank God for that
>You were worried that you'd have to be some cooped up manimal
"Cool... very cool. Are we gonna be able to go somewhere for a bath, by chance?"
>"Absolutely! But for someone your size... how about we take a little walk to a river? Outside of the occasional fisherpony, it's as clear and quiet as can be! Oh, and we have the nicest little cafe we can go to after, they do have the best lunches..."
>Her mentioning of places, ponies and things quickly go over your head
>After a few seconds of an almost blank stare, she smiles wide
>"You'll love it! Why, I'll make a little schedule for us. In the mean time, have some leftovers for breakfast if you like, sort the trash so we can take it out-we do recycle by the by-and when done we can head out!"
"Yeah... sure. Alright."
>Despite physically growing in certain areas, she seems quite in control and on top of everything
>She is a local politician, after all
"...but these freaking bottles, man..."
>You're no lightweight, surely
>But she's a real bottle fairy
>Ignoring the distinct scent of pony on your hands and clothing, you fold the blanket and kick out your legs to stretch those as well
>You would have a bit of a bite but... not with your bare hands
>Relative to the entire order, you made a good dent in it but not enough to really sell that you're some ravenous pony predator
>Hopefully it'll still be good later
>With everything sorted up, you end up with a neatly-organized pile of trash
>For being in such a vastly different world, you aren't actually all that alienated
>Make no mistake, the talking ponies make you think that you're in some fatal coma that will end with you fighting some anime god equivalency with a bunch of bums as your companions
>But their laws and general rules?
>You may as well be in some sort of rural town that has no official police force
>Hard to imagine there's much crime, considering how colorful the inhabitants are
>After waiting for a few minutes more, Mayor bursts out with a long paper in her mouth
>She trots up to you and places it in front of you
>"I made our schedule for today! Let's treat it like a little campaign trail! Open it up, it doubles as a map!"
>She drew you a map in a series of minutes?
>Spreading open the paper you're relieved to see that it's actually a normal map
>But there are at least twenty sets of notes on the corners that are written in cursive so fine you're genuinely unsure if you can even read it
>"So while we're on our way to the river we can head to Sugarcube Corner for breakfast! It's one of the most popular places in Ponyville and the owners are just the sweetest things! It's also home to one of our local heroes, who uses the element of... oh gosh, what element was it..."
>She shakes her head
>"It doesn't matter on the details, what's important is that we introduce you to them!"
>Now you weren't wanting to stay cooped up
>But now you're also kinda worried about having to be out all day and try to be social with technicolor talking ponies